← Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Christopher: Toxic Childhood, Jail, Coming Out, Being Robbed, CHISME & MORE!!
01:20:25
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- [00:01]
Ad Host
This episode is brought to you by. Prime Obsession is in session. And this summer, prime originals have everything you want. Steamy romances, irresistible love stories. And the book to screen favorites you've already read twice off campus. Elle every year after the love hypothesis, Sterling point and more slow burns, second chances chemistry you can feel through the screen. Your next obsession is waiting.
- [00:28]
Ad Host 2
Watch only on Prime Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession.
- [00:33]
Ad Host
When I have a crush on a
- [00:34]
Christopher Cantasi
guy no one knows, Be careful. I wish Nikki loved me more than
- [00:39]
Alan Heist
anyone in the entire world. Who you wish for.
- [00:42]
Ad Host 2
Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten tomatoes.
- [00:46]
Christopher Cantasi
I love you so, so, so, so much.
- [00:49]
Ad Host 2
It's blood soaked nightmare fuel.
- [00:51]
Christopher Cantasi
Brooke hunger spills. You put on her.
- [00:53]
Alan Heist
You have been warned.
- [00:55]
Ad Host 2
Obsession. Rated R under 17, animated without parent only theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby.
- [01:00]
Christopher Cantasi
Okie dokie. You know, like, once I said, he was like, oh, it is gay. And then I was like, yeah, I'm gay. His face just turned, like, pale. He, like, just like dropped his whole, like. He was like, what? Like, like in sh.
- [01:34]
Alan Heist
What is up, everyone? I'm your host, Alan Heist, and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcaster and talk show. And on the Yotrego, a tus influenzas Favoritos paraplaticar y P.O. s trapitos al sol. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight. Cristofer. Hello. Hello,
- [02:13]
Christopher Cantasi
Mr. Nervioso. But I'm super excited. It's my first time being on a podcast. But, yeah, we're here.
- [02:22]
Alan Heist
Before we get into it, what has your week been like? What has it been like preparing for?
- [02:32]
Christopher Cantasi
My week has been full of just fun experiences. I was just hanging out with my friend. We went out last night and the day before that. So I've just kind of been on a vacation mode a little bit. I'm excited to be here. I was preparing yesterday, literally, like, talking in the mirror and stuff. I was talking to my friends in the bed, like, trying to see how I was going to tell my story. But yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. So what's the beginning?
- [02:52]
Alan Heist
I'm so excited, too. Yo se que lia de ol amigas vamosas. 10 trevista. Emberdaco no siendote un poquito mas, which I'm so excited. But before we get started with the chisme y toy, tuvida quiero que nos digas un poquito mas de quiedes y queases for maybe anyone at home.
- [03:07]
Christopher Cantasi
Que no te conos okay, well, my name is Christopher, but a lot of my followers know me as Christopher Cantasi. I usually make my videos in my kitchen, literally, like, singing to my mom and to my sister, and, you know, we're just doing skits here and there. I'm 25 years old. I was born in the Bay Area in Oakland, and I grew up living in Bakersfield. It's funny because a lot of times people ask me like, oh, where are you from? And I'm like, oh, I'm from Bedford Fair. They're like, what? From Bedford Fair? From Bakersfield. So I do work and I do social media, like, on the side. I work for a bank. I do, like, part time, so I only work, like, 20 hours there. And then the rest of the time I'm just, like, out and about, living my best life. Work, life, balance, you know. You know what's crazy? I started off, like, when, like, Covid was around, you know, like, everybody was posting on Tick Tock and me, because you know how, like, Tick Tock, I think used to be, like, musically or something like that. So I never really had Tick Tock. And I was like, oh, my God, like, that's so boring. Like, I wish vine was back, you know? And So I downloaded TikTok and I was just scrolling one day and I was, like, so fucking bored because there's nothing to do. Like, it was Covid. I was just stuck inside all day. So. So then I told my mom, I was like. And she's like. And I was like. And so we made that first video and I posted it, and it just started, like, literally, like, blowing up within, like, minutes. I remember, like, checking my phone, like, after 10 minutes, and it was already, like, at 20,000 views, and I was like, what the fuck? And then I was literally. I literally sat there, like, refreshing it, like, every. Like, every freaking minute. And it was going up and up and up. And then my followers up and up and up. And then, like, the next day, I already had, like, 23, 000 followers, and I was taking screenshots, like, every 10 minutes. I was like. Just to see, you know, like, the progress. Yes. And the rest is history. And then I just started posting and posting and posting.
- [04:45]
Alan Heist
And now we're here, you guys, Which I'm so excited. With the beginning. We're gonna go ahead and dive into your. How was Chris growing up? How was your childhood? How would you describe your personality?
- [05:14]
Christopher Cantasi
I don't know. I was like a happy kid. I feel like I always knew, like, well, I'm all Getting personal. Like, I always knew that I was gay, you know, like, but growing up, like, I always try to hide that from everybody. Like, I wouldn't really be, like, open in that way. At home, I was very quiet, but at school, I was, like, freaking, like, just talking to everybody. I remember having, like, a lot of. Maybe not friends, but, like, a lot of acquaintances. Like, I would, like, kind of, like group hop from everywhere, you know, Like, I'd be friends with these people and these people people and these people, you know, So I just kind of, like, I really enjoyed. Yeah, I enjoyed my. I really enjoyed my childhood. I really did. But, like, being at home was just, like, a little bit different. I loved going to school. I'm like, hell, yeah. Like, you know, it's Sunday. I get to go to school tomorrow. You know, Like, I feel like I was a happy kid.
- [05:54]
Alan Heist
What was your home life like? Nos cuentas that it was a little different from your school life. How was that different from, you know, school?
- [06:01]
Christopher Cantasi
Just in a sense that I couldn't really, like, fully be myself because I was like, damn, I can't act like this because I'm a boy. And, like, I can't, you know, like, be too gay or, like, especially, like, not like, I wouldn't really talk around, like, my dad or, like, with my mom. I have a closer relationship with her, but I never, like, fully told her, like, oh, yeah, like I'm gay or anything. I would always try to act, like, straight and be like, oh, yeah, like, I like this girl from school. Or like, I have a crush on this girl, like, you know, my best friend growing up. Like, I had a best friend that I grew up with, like, from first grade, and she was like, my first crush and everything. And like, actually, like, my first girlfriend, too. So I was always kind of, like, masking it a little bit. So that's why I mentioned that I feel like I was a little bit more different at home.
- [06:43]
Alan Heist
How was that? Like, do you feel like that affected you growing up in a sentinel? You were like, you know what? Like home. And this is where I'm supposed to feel the safest and this where I'm supposed to be me, but I feel like I have to constantly mask it. How do you feel like that affected you growing up?
- [06:58]
Christopher Cantasi
I kind of do, like, wish I was a little bit more myself sooner because, yeah, it kind of does affect you, like, not being yourself and, like, having to wait to get outside of the house to start being yourself. But, I mean, I guess it didn't affect me that Much because now I'm, you know, it made me. To the person that I'm now it did suck a little bit. But after coming out, whenever. Once I did come out, like, I just felt, like, more free, more liberated, like I could just do whatever, like, just be myself. Talk the way that I talk, like, have no filter, basically, because each time that I was at home, I kind of, like, had a filter and I was a little bit more reserved. And like, you know, like, when you hear, like, the cheeseman between your family, like, so and so is hot. Or like, you know, like, que desperadico por Gustavian guapo. So I'd be like, imagine, yeah. Like, what are they gonna think? What are they gonna think? Like, when I come out, like, the same thing. Like, ques perdis estamoy guapo. But, like, you know, they probably don't mean it in that way, but I mean, they still said it. So it was kind of like, okay, I need to be, like, a little bit more reserved.
- [07:47]
Alan Heist
Isn't that crazy that as kids, even though these conversations can be just very normal conversations to the adults, it can really affect and impact the child listening, you know, your contado muchas versus that. My dad was always very vocal about, you know, la or just always talking, you know, down on anyone who he would see be too flamboyant or be, you know, in his mind, too gay. And even though he would just say it because, you know, that's his mentality all the time, you know. And we're gonna get all into that a little bit later with your coming out story. Growing up, how would you describe your relationship with your mom and dad growing up?
- [08:30]
Christopher Cantasi
I would say I was always way more comfortable. Like, with my mom, I would just spend, like, most of the time with her. My dad always had, like, two jobs, so he was never really home. And also, he doesn't really have a relationship with his kids. Like, he would basically just, like, go to work, get home, you know, eat, rest, and then just go to his room. And since he had two jobs, obviously we wouldn't really see him. He would get home late at night, like around 10, 11pm so at that time, we were already either sleeping or we're already, like, winding down to the, like, for our day. And we didn't really have that much communication with him, really. It literally just be like, oh, like, good morning. Or sometimes he would just walk past the kitchen. Not even, like, acknowledge you. Yeah, I kind of found myself finding, like, a dad and others, you know, like my theos probably, you know, like, oh, he would take us to, like, go around the motos or, like, you know, like, just do, like, adventurous, you know, and, like, my dad wasn't like that. My dad was more like, oh, well, I have to go to work, you know, in order for you guys to, like, be under this roof and whatever. And, like, you know, would you ever
- [09:21]
Alan Heist
bring it up to your parents, like, even to your mom, because you're growing up, you know, My dad was very like that. I feel like a lot of people can maybe relate because, you know, I feel like a lot of dads, especially in Atlantis, were, you know, raised to be like, you're the provider. Like, your only responsibility is, like, the emotional shit. But I feel like as we've gotten older and as the new generations have, you know, like, spoke up, like, now we see, you know, the new generations of dad not just be there, you know, physically, but also emotionally, but my dad doesn't care. Like, my dad doesn't love me. Would you ever, like, maybe tell your mom? Like, I just don't feel any type of connection with my dad growing up.
- [10:09]
Christopher Cantasi
I did just to tell her, like, you know what? Like, I don't really feel a connection with him. I. I can't seem to find that connection with him because he's not really involved in my life, you know?
- [10:17]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [10:17]
Christopher Cantasi
So it was kind of, like, hard, too, but. And then I would obviously hear them argue a little bit about it, like, oh, por que no? Like, Sometimes my dad would try more, so kind of like, teach me, like, oh. Or like. Like the sakata, you know, like this and this and sakata and stuff like that. It was so rare.
- [10:40]
Alan Heist
It wasn't bonding.
- [10:41]
Christopher Cantasi
It was so rare. Yeah. It was more so, like, I have to, like, hang out with him.
- [10:46]
Alan Heist
Have you ever had, like, a conversation with him? How did that go?
- [10:51]
Christopher Cantasi
Because he uses my mom a lot, like, as, like, the messenger, You know, so it's like, You know, like, why. Like, why do that? So I told him that I was like, hey, you. You don't have to be using my mom, like, as a middle person. Like, you know, like, I'm your son, you're my dad. Like, we could talk about it, you know, and then that avoids, like, things getting switched up, you know, like, oh, she maybe left out something important that she forgot to say.
- [11:24]
Alan Heist
Or she's saying it in a sweeter tone.
- [11:26]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah. Or in a ruder way. Yeah. Why the does he think that, you know, like, literally, you know.
- [11:30]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [11:31]
Christopher Cantasi
So just like that. And, I mean, it went good. I Did recently. I guess he's kind of like a little bit like, trying to kind of like, get himself a little bit more involved, which is kind of weird because, like, why now? Like, do you feel like as an
- [11:41]
Alan Heist
adult now, do you feel like it gets to a point where, like, it's too late?
- [11:44]
Christopher Cantasi
In a way, yes. But then in a way, no. Like, it's never too late. But I mean, if he wants to, I think why not? Like what? There's. I mean, I feel like it gets
- [11:53]
Alan Heist
harder as we get older.
- [11:54]
Christopher Cantasi
It does get a little harder, but I mean, it's just more so. Like, I mean, I. I respect it and I mean, I hope he respects me. So it's just like, just like that mutual ground.
- [12:03]
Alan Heist
I feel like when we get older, it comes to a point where you're like, you know what? At the end of the day, you're my dad. There's not really much I can do but accept you and accept your wrongs. But it does kind of, you know, you missed out on so much of my life. Like, there's so much that we could have built when I was younger and it didn't happen that I feel like even though you're wanting to, like, put in that effort, it kind of gets a little bit hard, you know? Quiero platicaro, poquito maze that when you were seven, you know, your dad got arrested right in front of your eyes. Traumatizing for you. So, you know, what was your guys's life like prior to that happening? Ques lo que paso? And how did that moment feel for you at just seven years old, seeing your dad get arrested?
- [12:50]
Christopher Cantasi
Growing up, my dad was like, more like on the aggressive side. Like, I don't know if like anybody else can relate, but I just feel like he's who has always just been like, aggressive and like, just very like, argumentative and like, very like his way or like my way, you know? So my mom had to kind of like, you know, likeismo, and kind of be like, okay, no, like, you need to relax, okay. Like, you're not gonna be talking to me like that or to my kids like that. So he did get arrested literally in my kitchen. Like literally right there by the fucking stufa and everything. We were all sitting down, we're all eating. My mom had me quesadillas. We had like cereal. It was me, my brother, my sister, my mom, my dad. We were all just chilling right there in the cocina. Like it was already late. It was like 8 or 9pm and my mom and dad just Started arguing like always. They would always argue, like when it was like time to eat. And my mom hates that. She's like, no, like no me gustas. You know, we're just trying to chill, eat, like relax. So they just started arguing. And then I just remember like my mom, she just got fed up and she was like. Because I think he was complaining about like oh, like safri la comida. My mom was like. And then for us, like obviously we're kids, like that was funny to us. So we started fucking laughing. Like me, myself, my sister, my brother, like we just like cracking up. We couldn't stop. And then my dad like, I remember him getting so pissed and angry, he like threw his plate to the floor. Like it all broke and everything. He like slammed his hands on the table and he was like, yeah, like if you guys keep laughing, I'm gonna beat the out of you. And so I remember looking at my sister and I was like, oh. Like things just got real. I was nervous, she was nervous. So like we were just like, you know, we shut up. My brother though, like he's a little more light complected so he would like turn red and he was like holding in his laugh. He was like, you know, like making noises and stuff. My dad literally gets up and he slaps the out of him. Like slaps the out of him. His face was all red. And then I remember my mom like just yelling. She like ran to the kitchen because we used to have like a home phone.
- [14:43]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [14:43]
Christopher Cantasi
And she like ran to the kitchen phone and she's like, she's like, You know, she's just saying crazy ass. Very mommy mode. She was like, yeah, you can't touch my kids because they came out of my cola like no. So she called the cops. And at that time I remember my dad kind of like freaking out. He was like, oh. Like he was going to like sneak out through like the back window where the room is. Like there's like a sliding door that leads to the backyard. So he was already like getting ready to like go like walk down the hallway and everything. But luckily, like, I don't know what the my mom was saying over the phone cuz she barely even spoke English that well. The cops got there so fast. Like I remember it was like three, four minutes. And they came in through like the garage, which is so weird. Like they opened the garage door and then they came in through like the back and they're like, hey, like, you know, get on the floor like right now. Like everything like that, like put Your hands behind your back and everything. They, like, literally were putting him in, like, espouses and everything. I remember it being like, literally like six cops. And they, like, separated all of us. They, like, separated, like, my mom in one corner. They took us to the living room and they were like, taking pictures of my brother, like, of, like, the marks because obviously his face was like, super red. And then they interviewed us, like, all one by one. So at this point, like, I don't know if it was just like, the cops doing the investigation or if, like, CPS got involved, but I'm pretty sure it was probably just the cops because it was like six of them. And they interviewed each and every one of us, like, individually, kind of like asking us questions like, oh, like, how's the family dynamic? Like, is your dad always like this? Has this happened more than once? And things like that. So I just remember, like, being like, super crazy. And he did end up getting arrested and he lost his job because obviously, like, no call, no show and stuff.
- [16:12]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [16:12]
Christopher Cantasi
So at that point, it was kind of like, oh, shoot. Like, my mom was kind of like, oh, damn, well, what are we gonna do, you know?
- [16:17]
Alan Heist
It is what it is.
- [16:18]
Christopher Cantasi
It is what it is. Like, she always put her foot forward for us. Like, always would defend us in every single way. She never let him really, like, take control, even though he wanted to have control, like always. She was always, like, trying to be alpha too, so that I appreciate about her. Like, she was always, like, super, like, defensive all the time.
- [16:34]
Alan Heist
I feel like growing up in, like, an abusive homes, like, it almost becomes normal, right? Like, as we grow up, we're like, oh, this is typical. My dad and my mom fighting. Like, oh, my dad hitting us like, oh, like everyone's dad hits you, right?
- [16:47]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah.
- [16:47]
Alan Heist
Like, you almost start thinking like, oh, everyone lives through the same experience that I'm living. Pero ye go momento where you're like, oh, shit.
- [16:53]
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- [17:25]
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- [17:55]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah.
- [17:56]
Alan Heist
You know, like, not everyone's parents are like this. There's more loving dads out there. Did you have a moment where you realize like, oh, like maybe what we're living here in this home that I think is normal isn't?
- [18:07]
Christopher Cantasi
Oh, yeah. All the time I was like, damn. I wonder if like my friends go through this or like, you know, because it was always like something. Like it was almost, I was some drama at the house. Like almost every single day there was like an argument like about stupid, you know, and then it was always like my dad wanting to like, like either like hit my siblings or like, because obviously that wasn't the, the only instance. Yeah, there was way more. So it was kind of like, damn, is this like the reality? So that's why me like, also growing up, I wouldn't really talk to them because I was like, dude, like, one wrong word, like, and I'm gonna get my ass.
- [18:33]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [18:34]
Christopher Cantasi
Like, I remember literally, like one time he literally beat my ass because I slammed the door on his truck too hard. Like after school I got off, I slammed it. He was like the type to be like, oh, don't slam the door. Like, make sure you turn the knob and you close it slowly. If you would hear the door like shut like crazy. Oh, it was like it was over for you. So you always had to be like on your tippy toes. Like, like, let's not make my dad mad because then, you know, and since he had his two jobs, he would wake up at like 4 in the morning and then hated as irritated as. So you couldn't shower like past 8pm because la molestava. So it was like one time I was like in the shower. Like, it was like 9:30. I'm like trying to shower because tomorrow I have school. Like, I'm trying to be clean for the day and he's all banging on the road. Like, You know, like, so it's like always like that. So it was like we had to be like on our tippy toes. Like, oh, like it's about to be seven. Like, we should shower now before he needs to. Or like we couldn't make any noise. Like, if we're hungry, like, we have to Be like on our tippy toes and make sure like we don't make a lot of noise. You can't turn on the microwave because a little beeping noise is gonna piss him off. Like you know, so it's just like always things like that.
- [19:41]
Alan Heist
Would you ever like ask around like maybe to your friends like or would you ever come finding your friends like oh look my dad's this way. Like is your dad like that or would you just kind of be like not even embarrassed or just kind. You know what, I don't even want to talk about my dad.
- [19:55]
Christopher Cantasi
I wouldn't even talk about it cuz I was like maybe that is embarrassing, maybe it is normal. I just like would like to disassociate. Like I didn't want to talk about home at school at all. As I started to get older though, I started being more like rebellious towards him, you know. Cuz I would see how he would argue with my mom and like the stuff that he would say to her and like, you know, like me and she kind of like struggles with her health. So he would kind of like throw that in her face and be like oh well that's why you have diabetes and that's why you had a stroke and that's why you know, porqueres like you know like that and obviously like me hearing that, I'm like what the. Like why are you talking to my mom like that? Yeah, so it would either be like me or my sister like jumping in to defend my mom like and literally with my dad like hey, like don't be talking to her like that and this and that and that sometimes would like get us in trouble. But it was always like basically like me, my sister and my mom like against everybody else. You know. My brother like he was a little bit older so he would sometimes not be at home, he'd be working or like, you know, it's a 8 your difference between us. So he was already doing, he was
- [20:53]
Alan Heist
like I'm done with this.
- [20:54]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, so it was already like just like me, my sister, my mom, like always like against kind of like defending her towards my dad.
- [20:59]
Alan Heist
Did CPS ever get involved?
- [21:02]
Christopher Cantasi
No, they never got involved. Just that one time where they, the cops interviewed us. I don't think it was cps. It was probably the cops just taking notes and like taking light of the situation. But no, CPS never got involved.
- [21:14]
Alan Heist
Do you feel like your dad would ever, you know when he would last shot, would he ever apologize? Because I feel like a lot of the time like for me when My dad would last shot out, he would almost kind of like, sweep it under the rug. Like, anyways, get over it.
- [21:25]
Christopher Cantasi
Like it never happened.
- [21:26]
Alan Heist
Yeah, like, you guys want hot cheetos here? Like,
- [21:32]
Christopher Cantasi
no, nothing. It'd just be like, okay, whatever, it already happened. What doesn't apologize doesn't take accountability. Like, it's just another day.
- [21:40]
Alan Heist
Are your parents still together?
- [21:41]
Christopher Cantasi
Well, like, on paper, you know, but they kind of live more like their life. Like, as if they're roommates. Like, they sleep in separate rooms. I mean, obviously they live in the same household, so they see each other and stuff, but it's more so like, I guess maybe they're like friends. I don't know.
- [21:54]
Alan Heist
Do you feel like seeing that affected the way you see relationships growing up? Like, you're like, you know what? Like, these are supposed to be my prime example of what love is truly supposed to be. But, like, I'm seeing a lot far from love, you know? Like, I don't see, you know, my parents showing each other love constantly. Do you feel like it affected the way maybe you want to be loved or just the way you saw relationships growing up?
- [22:16]
Christopher Cantasi
I never saw them be lovey dovey, never saw them kiss, never saw them hold hands. They were probably like, dance, dance, one or two songs, like a quinceanera or something. But they were never like, lovey dovey like that. I just. It was always arguing, arguing, arguing, arguing. We'd be in the car, they would argue. We'd be at home, they would argue, like, the whole time. So it was just like, we never really got a good representation of like, oh, what a marriage is gonna be or what love should be or anything like that. Maybe it has. I mean, I have been in relationships before and I have been in, like, you know, But I mean, I guess now that you bring it up, I'm starting to realize that maybe it did. Like, I never got an example of what it should be, so.
- [22:49]
Alan Heist
So you can go two ways, right? Like, I feel like when you experience something like that, you can either be, you know, locked in that cycle and be like, well, you know what? It is what it is. That's what I experience. And this is how I'm gonna show love to my significant other. Like, I'm just gonna reproduce what I saw growing up, or you could have that mentality growing up of being like, you know what? Like, this is shitty. Like, this is what I don't want this. Like, and I'm gonna make sure I don't get this type of love because I'm deserving of more. How do you think you navigated those two ways?
- [23:19]
Christopher Cantasi
Definitely in that way. Like, like, I don't want to have that relationship. Like, that's horrible. Like, yeah, literally I would just kick the chair. Like, no, I don't want to do that, you know. So, yeah, I think it kind of helped in that sense where it's like teaching me what I don't want from a relationship. Because yeah, that would just be horrible. Like, just imagine like getting home. Like you're trying to relax and it's just like arguing and arguing and arguing and arguing. Like, for what do you feel like
- [23:39]
Alan Heist
as you've gotten in relationships, it's become easier for you to cut the relationship off because you're like, okay, as soon as I see a red flag, like, I'm done. Because like, I already know where this is gonna end up. Or do you feel like you still give like may like, you know, a person you're meeting, like the benefit of the doubt of like, you know what, like that's kind of a red flag. But like, let me see it through. To see.
- [24:02]
Christopher Cantasi
I feel like early on I'm very much like, let me see it through first. Because it could be a red flag, but then am I overthinking or is it really a red flag? My last relationship did teach me like a lot of red flags to look for. So I'm always like, alert whenever it comes to that. I don't really give too many chances. So the moment that I see like it's not going to work out, then I'm like, okay, I'm going to protect my peace.
- [24:21]
Alan Heist
And that's what do you feel like are red flags that you like look for very quickly as soon as you start talking to someone, like people who
- [24:27]
Christopher Cantasi
lie about stupid shit, like, for what? Why do you lie about stupid stuff? Yeah, like I don't want to have to ask you once, twice, three times for me to get the answer. If I have to do that already early on, then it's like it's going to be worse. Yeah, yeah. I mean, obviously, like give people the benefit of the doubt. Like, you know, maybe like early on, like, you know, it's like nerve wracking. So yeah, it's sometimes a little white light here and there, but. But like, if you're doing it constantly, like, I just think that that's like a really big red flag and maybe it's best to like just kind of like just look out for those things.
- [24:56]
Alan Heist
What piece of advice, you know, can you give anyone watching who is Currently in a situation where they're constantly seeing, you know, their parents argue or they're constantly not seeing love at home or the feeling of feeling neglected by a particular parent. What piece of advice can you give anyone watching?
- [25:12]
Christopher Cantasi
You know, you're in charge of driving your own boat. You're in charge of your own emotions. Yeah. While it's going to hurt that you're being neglected and all that, nobody can flip the switch for you. Like, if you're gonna have control of your emotions, then have control of your emotions. Like, sometimes it's okay. It's okay to not have that at home, and you'll learn to deal with it, and you'll only grow from there. So time will tell you feel like that right now, but later on it'll make you into the person that gonna flourish and you're just gonna be that. Like, you don't. You don't need that. You only need yourself, and that's it.
- [25:45]
Alan Heist
And I really do always say this piece of advice to add on to that. Like, remember that whatever you're living right now, you can't control because you're a minor or you're not of age. But as soon as you're able to start controlling situations, when you turn of age and when you start being like, you know what? This is what I want for my future, just know. Just know that it gets to a point where you have control of where you want your life to go, how you want to live your life, That when you were loving, you guys got robbed by, you know, one of your Thea's boyfriends. Before we get into all of that, what was your guys's life like at the time? What was your relationship with your Thea and with her boyfriend? Did you guys see it coming? Was there any red flags that you guys were like, you know what, What was that whole experience like?
- [26:49]
Christopher Cantasi
Well, you know what? Growing up with my mom's side of the family, we were all super close. We lived in Oakland. And then we were the first family. My mom, you know, and us. We're the first family to move to Bakersfield because the houses were, like, really cheap. And so, like, we sold over there, bought a house in Bakersfield, and basically, like, her sisters followed, like, soon after, maybe like a year after, one got a house and then the other sister got a house. They would always come to our house because in my house we have a place. So our house was like the. Like the get together house? Yeah, like the get together house. Like, oh, You know, so it was fun. Like, I mean, we honestly, like, I grew up with my cousins kind of like, if they were like, my siblings. Well, one side of the family, because other ones were. They were, like, a little bit older, and they were, like, a little bit different. But for the most part, we were all kind of, like, pretty close, like, growing up, you know. Like, I remember, like, us hanging out a lot together. The. The Diaz husband that did, like, you know, like, rob us and everything. That family, like, they had everything. Like, I remember going to their house all the time, and they had, like, motorcycles. They had jumpers, like, the whole shebang. Like, literally. No. Yeah, literally.
- [27:54]
Alan Heist
Oh, really?
- [27:54]
Christopher Cantasi
Literally. And so I would be like, damn. Like, how. You know, like, what are they doing? Like, where does her dad work? I'd be like, damn. Like, where does your dad work? She had, like, all. Literally, like, all the Barbies, all the toys, the PS3, the PS or whatever. The PS whatever. PlayStation was out at that time. Like, they just. They had it all, you know?
- [28:12]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [28:12]
Christopher Cantasi
And so I thought that was always cool because, like, he would literally, like, take us out to, like, go, like, ride motors. And, like, he always had, like, the jumpers and, like. Like I said, like, in the. In their backyard, they had, like. Like the playgrounds, you know, like, the ones that they. From Costco.
- [28:25]
Alan Heist
And.
- [28:25]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, I was always like, dang, like, they have it. They. They have a lot of shit, you know. And, like, come. Come to find out. I mean, obviously I didn't know because I wasn't that cheese muscle. But I guess, you know, it was the deal, like, just going to places and, like, stealing the shit, like, from people's backyards or from garages or from, you know, whatever the case may have been when. Or to him, like, robbing our place. I remember it was going to be my sister's quinceanera. My and my mom were, like, talking about the quinceanera. My mom had $15,000, like, cash, and she put him in an envelope. And she's like. While she's conversating with my. You know, they're in her room, my mom places the money, like, in her, like. Like, alone drawer or whatever. Like, she closes it, and she's like, okay. Like, you know, like. And then from there, like, we were all getting ready to go to Vegas. We were packing our stuff. My tia left. And luckily, before my mom left, she was like, you know what? I'm gonna put this money in the bank instead. Because. Why. Why do I have cash laying around in the house?
- [29:24]
Alan Heist
Yeah, it's a lot of money.
- [29:25]
Christopher Cantasi
A lot of Money. So she took it. She deposited the 15, 000. We were on our way to Vegas. So there, like, we get to Vegas, we're having a good time. Like, my mom was a type to, like, always take us to, like, Circus Circus to the. Like, the rides and stuff.
- [29:36]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [29:36]
Christopher Cantasi
So we'd go there. She'd like, dedicate, like, her day, like, her day to the. To the kids. And then at night time. Okay, but it's my time to, like, go gamble and, you know, like, I'm gonna go have fun. But I remember we were gonna leave on a Monday. We were there Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. But then on Sunday morning, we got calls, like, on all of our phones. Private number. So, like, I got a phone call. My sister got a phone call. My mom got a phone call. My two cousins that went with us got a phone call. And so everybody. And my mom was like, what the. Like, that's weird. Like, everybody got called the same day around the same time. All private numbers. So you know what? Like, something's not right. Like, let's just go home today. So we cut the trip short, and we didn't stay till Monday. We ended up leaving Sunday. So we're on our way back. We're driving. My sister was, like, the type of to always have to go pee. So she was the first one to run into the house, like, oh, my God, I need to go pee. I need to go pee. I remember she, like, ran out. Didn't even go pee. She ran out and she's like, oh, my God, Mom.
- [30:31]
Alan Heist
Like, somebody's in the house.
- [30:32]
Christopher Cantasi
Like, I saw them, like, run out the house literally right now. Oh, we have sliding doors, like, a lot. So there's, like, a sliding door, like, over here and then, like, towards the front. Like, we have, like, three or four sliding doors. So she said that they, like, literally, like, we're opening the sliding door, and, like, they just ran out with, like, a whole bunch of stuff. It was, like, two people. And so obviously, like, she didn't see them or anything because they were wearing, like, hoodies and stuff. So my sister comes out, like, freaking out, and she tells my mom, like, oh, my God. Like, and then my mom's like, oh, my God. Like, you probably just. You're delusional. Like, you just woke up. You need to pee. Like, you're fine. So we all walk into the house, and, yeah, the sliding door was open. It was, like, a little windy. So, like, the cortinas were even still swaying. My mom goes to the back. We all, like, are the teachers like, oh, like, where are they? Where are they? You know? And we see, like, a whole bunch of, like, bikinis on the floor and like, like, swim shorts. So my mom's first instinct, like, oh. Because my dads were the type of Diaz to be like, they would just, like, let themselves through the backyard of our house and then, like, be in the pool. And I'd be, like, taking a nap, like, in the living room. And then I'd be like, what the. Like, showed up. Why are they here? And they didn't even invite me at the resort. Ye, like, blah, blah, blah, you know? So my mom was like, okay, maybe they came. But then she was like, but it doesn't add up because they don't have keys to the house, so how would they even have got inside? Like, all the doors were locked. So then she was like, like, savido, like, the code for the garage. And maybe the garage door was open and that's how they got it, like, to the inside of the house. But it just wasn't like clocking.
- [31:53]
Alan Heist
But in that moment, you guys weren't thinking, like, they're robbing us. Like, our family's robbing us.
- [31:58]
Christopher Cantasi
No, because we didn't. We had no clue.
- [32:00]
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Christopher Cantasi
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Christopher Cantasi
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- [33:20]
Christopher Cantasi
mom. And so my mom, like, I'm over here, like, washing my hands in the. Like, in the kitchen, seeing. And then my mom, she just starts yelling. She's like, oh, my gosh. She's like, Ms. Hoyas. Like, everything was, like, just flipped upside down. So then I remember, like, running over there to see, like, what happened. Like, why did she get so scared? And then my sister's room was, like. It was, like, so, like, almost so perverted. Like, they up her room. Like, they flipped her room around. They, like, flipped the bed up. They had, like, all her, like, tanga has, like, colgadas on the ceiling fan. They had, like, she had, like, this little heart necklace, like, super big. They put, like, the heart necklace at the beginning. And then, like, with. I don't know what the it was. I think it was like, toast, like, bread toast. They put like, oh, we're gonna come see you tonight, or something like that. Like, they wrote it with, like, some just, like. I don't know if it was, like, some type of jam or something, like mustard or. I don't know what the it was, but it said, like, something like, oh, we're gonna come see you tonight. So she was already traumatized. All her was gone, like, jewelry and things like that. All of my mom's jewelry was gone. The money where she had put the money was, like, out of alcado. They literally stole my mom's. And that time, she was, like, in the process of becoming a u. S. Citizen. So they stole, like, her, like, marriage certificate. Her, like, all her legal paperwork that would have, like, important, important stuff. So my mom was really thinking to herself, like, she was just yelling like, oh, my God, Like, I'm not gonna become a u. S. Citizen anymore, because all my is gone. Like, it was just a whole mess. And then, like, in my room, I used to share with my brother, so they had stole, like, like, our xbox or PlayStation, like, just, like, things of value that could possibly, like, be, like, resold. I remember, like, it was very common for us to have, like, an esclava with, like, our names and stuff. So all of those were gone. It was just like, a whole bunch of that was gone.
- [35:02]
Alan Heist
How did you guys. You know, you guys are panicking. You're like, what the just happened? Like, who the is robbing us? I'm sure you guys are calling up your family.
- [35:09]
Christopher Cantasi
Like,
- [35:12]
Alan Heist
how did you guys get from that moment to, like, you know what? Maybe it was someone we knew, because specific places that Were, like, turned upside down, were places that maybe some of our family members knew. How did you guys get to the point where you guys were, like, at least not confirmed, but you guys were doubting, you know, some of your family's loyalty, right?
- [35:33]
Christopher Cantasi
So interesting enough, that same day, like, obviously, my mom called the cops and everything. The cops showed up. They, like, took the report and everything. My mom called the sister of, you know, the deal that we. That later on, we found out that he had robbed us.
- [35:45]
Ad Host 2
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- [35:45]
Christopher Cantasi
She didn't pick up the phone at all. My mom called her other sister, and she picked up, and she was like, oh, my God. Like, I'm on my way. So the sister pulls up, and she goes, hey, like, I just saw, you know, the. The car driving out of this neighborhood, but, like, he has no business being here. And I'm sure it was their car because, like, you know, like, nobody else has that van or whatever, you know? So then my mom, like, kind of, like, puts it two together. She's like, really? Like, oh, well, I don't think so. Like, why would they. My mom goes to work, like, like, the next day, and then, like, a couple days pass, and my mom sees him at her work, and he goes, oh, like. Like, you know, my mom was like, what the. No, we don't have insurance. Going to Robo. Like, what are you going on about? You know? So my mom thought that that was fishing. Later on, Theo's sister calls my mom mom, and she was like, marcella.
- [36:40]
Alan Heist
She's like.
- [36:50]
Christopher Cantasi
And so my mom was like, oh, that's how she knew. So I'm knowing my mom. She's over here, like, you know, calling the cops at this time, though, literally, like, it happened also quick. He had just gotten arrested for stealing at somebody else's house, and so he got deported and everything. So that's how we ended up finding out.
- [37:05]
Alan Heist
Did you guys, like, confront your thea.
- [37:07]
Christopher Cantasi
Because we cut complete contact with them because, like, my mom would call her, and she'd be very short. During the time that they came and, like, robbed us, my mom had one of my tia's cameras there. And so the camera got stolen. So my mom was like, hi. Like, even my mom was feeling bad about it, you know, and, like, my tia would just, like, brush it off and be like, oh, no, it's okay. But, like, let me call you back, because these kids are like. They're. They're like, you know, I need to attend my kids. Bye.
- [37:29]
Alan Heist
Like, any excuse.
- [37:30]
Christopher Cantasi
Super close. Any exclusive excuse to not, like, talk to her, like, anything eventually, like, my mom pulled up, she confronted her. And at that time, like I said, he had gotten arrested for being at the other house. His parents were there. So my mom basically, like, told his parents, like, oh, you know, like. And they basically were like, no, like, we. We understand. Like, please, like, we'll give you the money, but, like, don't go and testify and don't say that he also stole at your house because we really don't want him to get deported. Deported. But obviously, like, he ended up getting deported anyways, because at that time, well, like, you know, you couldn't be, you know, like, doing stupid.
- [38:09]
Alan Heist
How do you think that affected you guys? Because I feel like when you go through that level of betrayal from a family member, you're like, oh, like, your mom felt so comfortable, you know, telling your Thea, like, oh, I have this much money. I'm gonna put it here. Like, you know, as platicas.
- [38:25]
Christopher Cantasi
Exactly.
- [38:25]
Alan Heist
Sisters. And then you go to find out that maybe your Thea was in on it. Because if that drawer was flipped upside down, like, it's like, how did you guys process all of that? How do you feel like it affected maybe your mom or you guys as a family?
- [38:40]
Christopher Cantasi
Basically, it kind of give everybody trust issues because it's like, damn, like, my own sister is robbing me. Like, imagine I was thinking, like, imagine what my sister is gonna do when I'm older or, like, imagine what my brother's gonna do to me when I'm older, you know? So it just kind of, like, was kind of, like, eye opening, and it was like, a shock that it's like, damn. Like, these people that we're so close with that we spend our Thanksgivings with, our Christmases with, like, our intimate family time with are literally, like, doing us dirty behind our back. So it was just. That was very eye opening. Obviously, we cut complete contact with them because we're like, how could you do this? You know? Now, though, like, now, like, now, like, we all, like, kind of, like, rekindled and everything like that. So everything's like, kind of like, okay, we brushed it under the rug. It was your husband. It wasn't your fault. Like, obviously, they're not together anymore, but it was just like a moment of like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, is this real right now?
- [39:29]
Alan Heist
You know, how did that go, that rekindling? Because, you know, squint as a guest of. So when you were 11? When I was 25. Now, when did the rekindling, you know, start happening? Do you feel like it was at first like, you Know what? We're just gonna get over it because so much familia, but, like, I'm gonna keep my distance because what was that whole process like for you guys?
- [39:51]
Christopher Cantasi
That whole process took about, I believe, five years. My grandma, she felt really sick. And those two sisters, they don't have papers, so they're not able to, like, travel. Yeah, but my grandma had her visa, so my grandma was able to come over, you know, like, kind of like, because she knew too, like, okay, I might not make it any much longer, so. And she hadn't seen her daughters for, like, a long time. The only one that was traveling was my mom, you know, she. To go see her. So my grandma decided to come and, you know, like, meet her daughters again, you know, like, see them again. So that kind of was like, my mom obviously had to go pick up my grandma from the airport. And then we all met up, like, at one of the Tia's house. And that's kind of like when everybody recovers. Kendall. Because we had also caught contact with the other sister for something else that her husband did. So it was, like, around the same time, like, those sisters established, and then it was just us that were, like, complete cut contact with them, you know, you.
- [40:41]
Alan Heist
You tell us that that created trust issues within your family. Do you feel like that also affected the way you trusted other people? Because, you know, you got momento where you're like, damn, if my own family can do that. I just met you yesterday. The, like, I ain't gonna trust you. Do you feel like it created trust issues?
- [40:57]
Christopher Cantasi
Definitely. Like, I always have my guard up for everything. Like, it's like, you cannot trust any but yourself. It does not matter. Yep. Like, anybody will flip a switch like that, and they will do you dirty, like, any moment that they can. So sometimes, yeah, you do have to be careful. Always have your guard up. Don't ever be so trusting, because like I said, like, it be your own family that can just do you dirty like that. So it was, like, it was a little weird, like, rekindling with everybody again, because obviously we hadn't had contact with each other for, like, four or five years, but obviously there was no beef with, like, the cousins. The only beef was, like, our moms, you know? So obviously, each kid is going to choose their mom side, obviously, like, hello. So it was just kind of, like, awkward, you know, like, kind of, like, rekindling when we had, like, this such a great connection. And then now, like, we rekindle again. It was just like, kind of, like a little bit awkward. Like you don't know each other anymore. You know, it's not like how we would see each other like every weekend or like every other day. Like, it's just kind of like you're talking to a stranger again and it's
- [41:51]
Alan Heist
like you say, you know, everyone's gonna have their parents back regardless if their parents up or not, you know, and it's like, even though you guys know you're at the in the right of like you guys stole from us, like the party's still going to be like, you know, having their back, you know, so it kind of creates of like, okay, if there's no accountability, then there's not really much moving forward, you know. What piece of advice can you give anyone watching right now that has, you know, experienced something similar or who has gone through any level of betrayal from a family member?
- [42:23]
Christopher Cantasi
Well, I would say, like from my advice and my perspective, I never really thought like, oh, like my cousins did us dirty or anything, because that's not. Obviously it all had to do with the adult adults. So I mean, that was their issue, that was their pedal. But obviously it affected like all the kids too because we kind of like broke relationships because of that, you know.
- [42:41]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [42:41]
Christopher Cantasi
So I guess a piece of advice, I mean, obviously just, I mean, just watch your back, don't trust anybody and be very intentional with the things that you tell people and don't be so open about things. Sometimes it's good to keep things a secret. Sometimes it's good to move in silence because there's always somebody out there that's trying to like, you know, be malicious or just, you know, sometimes people just do. Maybe people are jealous
- [43:05]
Alan Heist
about growing up and coming out and how you always felt, you know, you kind of had to, you know, chill out on being too gay or being too flamboyant about, you know, you're coming out story. When you started noticing you were different, what was like your gay awakening moment where you're like, you know what? I think I'm a little different than my brother or all the boys around me.
- [43:29]
Christopher Cantasi
I honestly think it was like at a really young age, I was in elementary school still and I would catch myself thinking like, oh, like, you know, that's a cute looking, you know, like I would always think like, oh, he's cute or whatever. But then I would always like cut back and be like, okay, no, no, no, no. Like I would literally talk to God and my thoughts, I'd be like, God, like maybe it's just a phase, like, please like guide me in the right direction.
- [43:50]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [43:51]
Christopher Cantasi
Like, I think this is wrong. And obviously hearing the conversations at home, like, oh, like, so and so is gay and this and that, you know, So I was always like, okay, I think this is a phase. Like, I'm going to grow out of it. It. Like, maybe it is okay to think that boys are cute, like, handsome or whatever. Yeah.
- [44:08]
Alan Heist
I used to think it was normal, too.
- [44:09]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah. So I was like, maybe it's normal. But then I started catching myself thinking, like, more and more and more about that I wouldn't really find girls attractive. I would have a lot of girlfriends, you know, because it's just, like, relatable. But it was just more so like that. And then, you know, people started noticing a lot that I would hang out sometimes more than with girls than I would with guys. So they'd kind of, like, sometimes, like, throw out the question. And, like, they wouldn't always. They wouldn't directly ask me if I was, but they would ask, like, my girlfriends, like, oh, like, is he gay? And they would jump and be like, no, he's just very feminine. He's just very flamboyant and had never told anybody. Like, I literally.
- [44:40]
Alan Heist
So your friends would have your back.
- [44:42]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, they thought. They thought.
- [44:43]
Alan Heist
Because they could have been like, oh, me? Yeah, I think the same thing, too.
- [44:45]
Christopher Cantasi
I think the same thing, too. But no, he's not. He's just very feminine. He's in touch with his, like, feminine side. He's just like. He's just a little bit flamboyant. Yeah.
- [44:52]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [44:53]
Christopher Cantasi
So they would always, like, literally, like, defend me, you know, it was, like, cute of them to have done that. Like, well, like, my high school friends and stuff. But, like, yeah, growing up, I mean, it was just kind of like, okay, I just thought I was going to grow out of it.
- [45:04]
Alan Heist
Yeah. Always, you know, no squintas that you had girlfriends growing up, which, you know, I've talked about it, too. I feel like I went through a phase like that, too, when even the thought of people questioning your sexuality would, like, trigger you and, like, trigger me, you know? So I dated a lot in middle school, a lot of girls. But, like, I would date girls to, like, try to see if that would kind of, you know, get them thinking different, differently. What was that experience like for you, like, dating girls? Like, did you get to a moment where you're like, you know what? Like, even though I'm trying to see if maybe this is normal my thoughts, but, like, I'm getting to a point where, like, I know I don't like, girls. And I know what I like, and it's very evident. What was that for you?
- [45:45]
Christopher Cantasi
You know what? In first grade, I had this best friend, and it was a girl, obviously. I don't know. I did actually have a crush on her. I did, you know, at one point. And, like, she told me, like, oh, like, I like. I like you too, too, you know, and it'd be like, almost, like, literally every year, like, at the end of the year, because we would walk together, like, home from school or whatever. Like, every year at the end of the year, we, like, have this little conversation together, and we'd be like, you know, like, just, like, little cutesy stuff. We'd be like, oh, like, who's your crush? Who's your crush? And then we would end up, like, saying that it was each other, you know? So I just thought, like, that was kind of cute. And I ended up dating her because we went to school literally from first grade all the way to, like, 12th grade in high school. So we ended up dating in seventh grade, all the way through eighth grade, eighth grade, and then we broke up because, you know, like, stupid, like, little kid stuff.
- [46:25]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [46:25]
Christopher Cantasi
And then again in 9th grade all the way to, like, I want to say, like, maybe junior year.
- [46:29]
Alan Heist
Oh, okay.
- [46:31]
Christopher Cantasi
So I really did like her a lot. Like, I honestly, like, sometimes I think back and I'm like, damn. Like, if maybe we were, like, still together, maybe we could have been, you know? Yeah. So that's why sometimes my friends are like, oh, like, you're by. You're by your bi. But I don't know, I kind of, like, lean more towards, like, obviously, like. Yeah.
- [46:44]
Alan Heist
Would you question yourself during that time?
- [46:46]
Christopher Cantasi
Like, oh, you know what?
- [46:48]
Alan Heist
Like, maybe I am bisexual.
- [46:49]
Christopher Cantasi
Sexual.
- [46:50]
Alan Heist
But when was the first time you heard about bisexuality? Because I feel like growing up. I don't know if it was like that for you, but, you know, we hear a lot, like, oh, being bisexual. Existing.
- [46:59]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah.
- [47:00]
Alan Heist
You're either straight or hotel.
- [47:01]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah. Yeah.
- [47:02]
Alan Heist
You know what I mean? And you going through that experience, I'm sure you had a moment where you're like, wait, maybe I am bi. Maybe, you know, bisexuality does exist, and this is what I am. Did you have moments where you thought that to yourself?
- [47:14]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, I think I learned that, like, around high school where it was like, okay, yeah, you can. You can, like, both. But then I had a friend who was like, that's not real. Like, what the. Like, how. You know, like, you can't. But, I mean, I guess I would think. I thought so more like, what she would think, like, oh, like, she's gonna cut contact with me because maybe, like. And maybe sometimes I do, like, you know, like guys or whatever. So after that, then I started, like, exploring more, like, well, I didn't start exploring more, like my gay said, till I was 20. So obviously, like, during that time, like, yeah, I was all about her. I really did. Like, I guess you could kind of say, like, your first love in a way, because I really did love her a lot, like, whether she was, like, my best friend or, like my, you know, like my partner or whatever. Imagine, like, knowing somebody from first grade all the way to, like, 12th grade.
- [47:52]
Alan Heist
You had a lot of love for her.
- [47:53]
Christopher Cantasi
A lot of love for her.
- [47:54]
Alan Heist
Did she ever question you? Would she ever be, like, people would ask her.
- [47:57]
Christopher Cantasi
People to ask her, like, oh, I think he's gay. And she's like, no, like, that's not right. Because, like, we kiss and we do stuff, you know, like, obviously she didn't.
- [48:05]
Alan Heist
Would that trigger you to the point where you're like, kind of like, I can't keep up this lie? Like, she has people on her end telling her, and she's coming to me, and, like, I don't even know what the. To say what was going on in your head? Whenever people would question her and question
- [48:19]
Christopher Cantasi
your guys's relationship, it would just kind of question, like, damn, like, what am I doing that people really think that I'm, like, gay or something or what? You know, it was like a weird, like, kind of, like, awkward time because I would obviously tell her, well, no, like, I obviously, like, I love you, like, blah, blah, blah. Like, how could I be, you know?
- [48:33]
Alan Heist
Yeah. And we're together.
- [48:34]
Christopher Cantasi
Together. Yeah. Literally. They're lying. Yeah, they're lying. They're lying on their ass. Like.
- [48:38]
Alan Heist
Like, they weren't. Did you guys break up because of it, or was it something more just, like, you know what? Like, I'm moving on.
- [48:46]
Christopher Cantasi
Moving on.
- [48:46]
Alan Heist
Or did it had to do with your sexual sexuality?
- [48:48]
Christopher Cantasi
It didn't, actually. We broke up over something so stupid. Like, I had some, like, bad friends at the time. And so my Instagram was logged in on my iPad and on my, like, phone and, like, on my ipod. So I think this is my theory. I feel like somebody went on my Instagram and they were, like, texting other girls for my Instagram and, like, they were, like, asking them for nudes and stuff.
- [49:07]
Alan Heist
Oh.
- [49:08]
Christopher Cantasi
So then she got, like, a screenshot of, like, my profile asking a girl for news or whatever. And so she was like, what the. Like, you're like, you're up. You ain't this and that. And so like we basically broke up over that.
- [49:21]
Alan Heist
Do you feel like after that you're like, okay, you know what, let me try to channel in more in like my gay side. Because I've had these feelings for so long. I think, you know, at that moment you were bisexual and you're, you know, you were thinking you're bisexual, but then you're like, like, maybe let me tap in more to that side. What was that journey like for you to try to figure out yourself, find out who you really were? Like, do you feel like after that relationship you kind of started focusing more on that?
- [49:50]
Christopher Cantasi
Kind of. Because I did have like a gay friend who was like super out and everything like that. So I would kind of just cut like not like live through him, but kind of like, you know, just kind of like focus on him a little bit because he would always be like, oh, like Grinder this and Grinder that and blah, blah. But like I said, I didn't come out till I was 20. So that's when I started like exploring like the gay world or whatever the case may be. So I would always just kind of of like loop in, in here, like, oh. And then I do remember downloading, I do remember downloading like the app, you know, like at that time and be like super secretive because he was like, yeah, like I get sugar daddies on there and blah, blah, blah. And they take me here and there.
- [50:24]
Alan Heist
At 20 years old, you finally decided come out. So what was that day like? Were you scared? Were you like, you know what? Yas to obuenta. So how did your parents react? Were they accepting? Were they kind of in den?
- [50:45]
Christopher Cantasi
So I never really like wanted to come out because my sister, she got kicked out at a really young age. She got kicked out when she was 17 years old. And that like was so traumatizing because she literally like my dad, like basically he beat her up, he kicked her the out of the house. Like the cops got involved again. So then me, I was young still. She Megana, like by five years. So I would have been, I'm alternative 12 years old, maybe 11 12. And so I remember thinking back, like, damn. Like she's over here getting kicked out because she snuck out of the house. Like, imagine me being gay. Like, what's going to happen to me? Like, I'm going to be homeless.
- [51:22]
Alan Heist
Yeah. Like, start packing your bags.
- [51:24]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, yeah. So literally, like I started working since I was like as soon as I could work in high school. I started working since I was in high school, like, 16 years old. So I was saving up my money because I was like, one day they're going to find out, and I'm going to have to have, like, find a place to live. So I was always scared to come out to my parents because of that. I'm like, damn. Like, if I come out, like, right now, they're going to kick me out and I'm going to be homeless. I'm. I'm not gonna know, like, what to do with my life. So I was, like, hesitating. But at that time, like, I felt like I was still stable enough. I was already 20 years old. I was, like, a little bit more, like, confident. I had already told my closer friends, and, like, we had, like, this conversation in my car, and I was, like, crying to them about everything. But I was finally kind of like, they were, like, a little bit motivating me, too. They were like, you know what? It's like, just do it. Like, you can't live this lie anymore. Like, just be you. Like, be happy. And if anything does happen, well, maybe it was just meant to be. Like, if you do get kicked out, then you get kicked out. And it was just meant to be, like, you're fine. Like, you have a job. Like, you have your money saved up. Like, you know. So I was like, you know what? Like, you're right. And so I started, like, kind of, like, planning it. I was already, like, on Tinder. I'm like, let me see. Who. Let me. Kind of roommate.
- [52:21]
Alan Heist
Yeah, like, let's see.
- [52:23]
Christopher Cantasi
What? And then I was like, you know what? I'm just going to tell my mom. And I remember I was like, it was December. I had literally just turned 20.
- [52:32]
Alan Heist
Just your mom at the time first.
- [52:33]
Christopher Cantasi
Just my mom at the time first I was in the car with her. Like, we were on our way to Costco. And I was like, you know what? This seems like the perfect time to do it. Like, we had no music. We were just conference conversating. So I told her. I was like. And then she was like, the first thing she says because I was going to college at the time. And she was like, oh, my God. Like, no, suspend and this and this and that. And I was like, no, no, no, no. Like, nothing. She was like, okay. And then I told her. I was like, no. The only reason why I told her, because sometimes my dad would tell my mom, like, oh,
- [53:17]
Alan Heist
Like, you're rubbing it on.
- [53:18]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah. Like you're rubbing it onto him type of thing. Like, because I Was always with my sister and with my mom. So he was always like, no, like, he needs to stay home alone or blah, blah, blah. So I was like, like, this and this and that. But I was like. And then she was like, she just looked at me and she just like started crying. And then I was like, oh, like, I up. So she just started crying. And then I started crying like, hella. Because I was like, like, did I just up? And then she was like, I don't know why you would have hold that for me. Like, I still love you, you know? And I'm like gonna cry right now. But she's like, I still love you. Like, that would never change, like, what I feel for you. Like, you're my son and like, you could tell me anything. Like, you can be like, so, like, sincere. But the one thing that she did tell me, she's like, but for right now, just don't tell your dad. So then I was like, like, now I still have to live in this, like, little lie, you know, but now, like, my mom knows at least so I can confide in her.
- [54:07]
Alan Heist
Her.
- [54:08]
Christopher Cantasi
And so that night came out to my sister and I was like, hey, like, I have something to tell you. Like, this and this and that. And so she sent me like this long ass, like, message. She was like, so cute about it. And she was like, oh, like, also told me, like, just don't tell my dad because things are going to get heated. And don't tell Ivan either. Like, don't tell your brother. So I was like, okay, like, I just won't tell anybody. Just you two.
- [54:28]
Alan Heist
How did that make you feel in that moment?
- [54:30]
Christopher Cantasi
And I was like, damn, like, what do you mean, don't tell him? So I thought, like, literally I was okay, if I tell them, I'm going to get kicked down. Like, I'm going to have to, to like, figure it out, you know? And at the time I was like, maybe I am ready, maybe I'm not. So I decided to just kind of like, take their advice and be like, okay, like, I'm not going to tell anybody else. That was my coming out story to them. And then like six months later, like around July, I took a trip with my friends. We went to Cancun. But it so had happened to be that my family was also going to be in Cancun. And it was all of my dad's side of the family. I'm talking about, like, cousins, Diaz, like, everybody. It was a big ass trip. And I invited my friends so that we could stay, like, puntoya parte. All in the same resort, though, because you know how, like, Cancun, they have, like, all inclusive and everything like that. So we were 20, like, over there. You could drink at 18. So I was, like, living my best life, you know, and I didn't give a anymore. Like, I was already, like, six months in. I already had a boyfriend already. Like, I was already, like, you know, being a little, like, rebellious or whatever, you know, but obviously still keeping it a secret at home. Like, very private. Like, very.
- [55:26]
Alan Heist
Like, you're gonna live your life, but
- [55:27]
Christopher Cantasi
I'm just not outside of home. Yeah, my dad or my brother there, just my mom and my sister knew, so I guess I wasn't really giving a. So I was just being myself, literally, the whole Cancun trip. And obviously, like, my brother was there and stuff like that. So my brother was, like, asking my friends, like, hey, like, Chris is acting, like, a little different. Like, you know, like, is he gay? Like, tell me the truth. And then my friends would come to tell me and be like, hey, like, your brother's on to you. Like, you know, maybe, like, don't be so. Like, you know, don't be so open. But I didn't give, like, imagine, especially after shots. Literally, I was just like, you know, just, like, being myself. And so I remember he was just, like, asking my friends and interrogating them and stuff, and they were, you know, they were good friends. They're like, oh, well, we don't know. Like, maybe you should ask him. And so they were, like, running back to cheese me, like, hey, this and this and this. And so my mom told me, too. She was like, hey, like, just to let you know, like, yesterday, like, your dad asked me, like, what's up with you? Like, because obviously, like, maybe I don't know if maybe, like, my theas had seen something that they shouldn't have or, like, my cousins maybe told sold, like, my dias when, you know, from that side. Then that same day, like, I was like, you know what? Like, I'm over this. I do not give a. Like, I'm ready. Like, if I have to get back from Cancun and pack all my and leave, then I'll just do that. Like, I'm ready. So then I go up to my brother, and I'm like, hey, like, what's up? Like, you know, I haven't seen you, like, around. Obviously, we all stayed in the same resort, but everybody had, like, their own rooms and stuff. And we only meet up for, like. Like, oh, we're gonna have dinner at this spot because at the resort there's like four different restaurants and stuff. So we'd have dinner. And so I went up to him and I was like, hey, like, you know, my friends are telling me that you have questions and you're like asking about me, but like, you know I'm your brother. Like, I'm right here. Like, do you have anything you need to tell me? Like, do you have something that you want to ask me? And he goes, oh no, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was just asking them like if you were gay. And then I told him. I was like, okay, well I was like kind of like a little like on the defense side. I was like, well, like, not that it's anybody's business or anything like that, but yeah, I am gay. Like I said, and I'm gay. And I remember he just looked at me. He like, so he started crying. Like he literally started crying and that made me like super emotional. And he was like, oh. Like he gave me like a big ass hug and he was like, he like apologized. He was like, I'm sorry. Like I can't believe that you've like lived up to this, you know, like without coming out. And then he was like, I can't imagine like how your life has been like, how like just basically like leading up to this point.
- [57:49]
Alan Heist
Did you think he wasn't going to accept you at first?
- [57:51]
Christopher Cantasi
First kind of. Cuz he would like sometimes like make fun of me too, like growing up. Like, oh, like you're gay. Like, yeah, it's like stupid little like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, ah, like you freaking like, you know, you like, I bet you like to play Barbies and like, you know, like just stupid like that. So then I was like, I was actually like a little bit in shock. So that made me emotional. I was like, damn. Like this has feelings. I was kidding. So then he just gave me like a big ass hug and he was like, yeah, like never like hide who you are. Like always be, you know, do like I'm always gonna be here for you. Like remember that I'm your brother and like you can confide in me in anything. Like you can tell me whatever you like. And then he was like, so you have to tell my dad. Like he jumped straight into like, oh, you have to tell my dad. I was like, I was like, I don't have to do anything until he was like, okay, come on, like, let's go take shots or whatever. Like we pull up to the bar, we take a couple shots. And then that night we were Gonna have dinner, all of us together, like, at the table and everything, at one of the restaurants, because we already had the restaurant reservation. So I remember we pull up to the dinner. It's already, like, 9 o', clock, 8 o'. Clock. And we pull up to the dinner, and then we're, like, waiting to be sat, and my brother pulls up, like, with his wife. And, like, my dad's there. Everybody's, all the family, like, start showing up, like, one by one by one by one. And then I just remember, like, staring at my brother like, okay, like, don't, like, do this right now, please. Like, it's not the time and it's not the place. So he walks up to my dad and he's like, hey, dad, Like, Chris has something that he needs to tell you right now. And then I'm like, no, I don't.
- [59:16]
Alan Heist
Was your dad sober at the time?
- [59:17]
Christopher Cantasi
Yes, he was. Okay, so then at this time, I'm like, I'm kind of sober. Kind of not. Because, like, I told you, it's all inclusive. Like, girl, we're, like, taking all the advantage. So then he, like, goes, yeah, Chris has something that he needs to tell you. And then I kind of tell him. I was like, no, no, no, no. Like, and he was like, no. He's like. Because there was, like, downstairs, and then there was, like, in the front, like, in the front of the lobby where, like, the valet is. But obviously there's, like, no cars because it's Cancun. So we go to the front, and he, like, literally has, like, basically, like, forced me to come out to him. And I'm like, dude, like, I don't want to right now, you know? Like, it's not the time, it's not the place. Like, I want to do that, like, on my own terms. So I was like, okay, it. Whatever. Like, we're here. We're already doing it. So then we go outside, and then again, my brother's like, oh, see? So then I told my dad. I was like, oh, basically, like, the same thing that I told my mom. I was like, I mean, you know, like, once I said, he was like, oh, it is gay. And then I was like, yeah, I'm gay. His face just turned, like, pale. He, like, just, like, dropped his whole. Like, he was like, what? What? Like, like in shock. And he didn't say nothing. And then my brother started crying. He was like, hello. Like, talk. Say something. Like, Like. Like, he was literally, like, being my, like, biggest, like, support system. And my dad just sat there, like, probably, like, for A good, like, maybe, like, five minutes. Just, like, staring at the floor, like, at the concrete. Like, oh. And so I was just kind of like, okay, awkward. Like, what now? Like, should we go take shots or should we go pack? Like, should I go. Should I still sit down at the dinner? Like, do you want me to pack my bags now? Should I get an early fly? Like, what's the issue?
- [61:07]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [61:07]
Christopher Cantasi
And so he just looked at me and he was like, oh, este noos. Yeah. And that's it. And that's all he told me.
- [61:15]
Alan Heist
Like, type thing.
- [61:17]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah. Like, just. And then I kind of, like, brought it up. I was like, oh. Like, you know, like, if you don't feel comfortable, like, with me being there. And then he was just like, oh. Well, he just didn't say nothing. He just literally left back upstairs and, like, sat through the dinner, like, nothing. And the whole time, he was literally just, like, in his thinking face. Like, he was just, like, not even, like, enjoying his food. He wasn't engaging in, like, the conversations or anything. I don't know. It just made me feel weird. It was like, what? Like, that's all you have to say?
- [61:45]
Alan Heist
I mean, did he have a moment afterwards where maybe, you know, because maybe to him, he was, like, trying to figure out what to say? Maybe he stayed quiet to not say the wrong thing. Like, let me just shut the up and just take in the news. Did he have a moment where he, like, came to his senses and was like, let me, Jose. Never didn't bring it up.
- [62:04]
Christopher Cantasi
Never brought it up again.
- [62:05]
Alan Heist
Till this day.
- [62:06]
Christopher Cantasi
Till this day. There'll be some times where, like, he does get drunk, and he'll be like, oh, like, you're my favorite son. Like, it doesn't matter if you are the way you are. Like, I still, like. But it's like, it takes him to be drunk to do that.
- [62:16]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [62:16]
Christopher Cantasi
And I'm talking not just tipsy. Like, he's up.
- [62:19]
Ad Host 2
You're like, I don't even want to.
- [62:21]
Christopher Cantasi
Like, don't even talk to me right now because you're annoying. Was kidding. No. So I remember asking my dad, like. Because my mom was like, you gotta get his permission, too. Like, you know, it's whatever. So I go up to my dad's room, and I'm like, hey, dad. Like, I'm trying to throw myself, like, a party for when I'm 22. Like, blah, blah. Like, I'm gonna invite some friends and just kind of, like, block out the porch. Because our porch is pretty, like, big. And, like, we have all our parties There and stuff. It was like, oh. And that just like, hit me the wrong way. And I kind of, like, I got so pissed. I was like, you know what? Never mind. Like, this conversation is over. Over. Like, it's fine. Like, I'm not gonna talk about this with you right now, so. And I was like, what the. So that honestly did hurt my feelings. And it also made me mad. Like, I was like, you know what? Like, this is my sign. Like, I don't feel comfortable even living here. Like, what do you mean? Like, does that bother you that much or what? You know, so then I was like, you know what? Whatever. Like, I still had the party, but it's just like, what the. I mean, we just respect each other at the end of the day. Like, I respect him, he respects me. Like, I've never really, like, disrespected him in any way, or, like, vice versa. So we're just kind of like, just cordial.
- [63:22]
Alan Heist
What piece of advice can you give anyone watching who is currently, you know, in a situation where they're scared to come out because they feel like their parents might not accept them? They're scared to come out because they feel like they're going to have the consequence of getting kicked out. What piece of advice can you give anyone watching that has gone through anything similar?
- [63:41]
Christopher Cantasi
I always feel like I wish that I would have done it at a sooner time because maybe I would have, I don't know. But also, like, sometimes taking other people's advice isn't the best thing. So I don't want to speak too much on, like, what's my advice, but my advice is for you to test the waters. You obviously know your dynamic better than I do. If you think that you're okay and that you can do it, then do it. But if you're scared, like, in my case, where I was going to get kicked out, like, imagine me getting kicked out at 17. Like, what was I going to do? Like, I don't know how much rent would have been at that time, but I surely wasn't making enough. I was in high school, I was a junior. Or, like, how was I going to be able to afford, like, going to high? Like, it was either going to be like, you're going to finish high school or you're going to work full time. Like, so just, you know, just know, like, know your place, know your position. If you feel like it's going to be okay for you to come out and you're going to be in a good spot, then do it. But if you don't and you think it's best to wait, then maybe it is best to wait. I think you'll. You'll know.
- [64:34]
Alan Heist
I really do feel like everything has to be at your time, at your pace, you know, like you said, you know what you live through, you know the reactions that you might get, but know. All over. Tik Tok a lot of people for your Christopher see, Tik Toks. What made you be like, you know what? I'm going to start creating content. This is what I want. I've seen some of my favorite creators do this, and I feel like I have the same personality or more that I can do it too. So what was your first viral moment and what made you be like?
- [65:25]
Christopher Cantasi
I always wanted to do, like, YouTube and I always wanted to do, like, Instagram and Vine. I actually had vine and it was like a singing vine that I had with, like, my cousin and like, one of my, like, best friend's sister. And we'd literally record ourselves on vine, like singing, like all three of us. Like, supposedly we were like the. The three duo and stuff. And like, I remember, like, us thinking that we were viral because, like, our video had like 5, 000 likes and stuff. But, like, right after that, vine, like, just disappeared, shut down. I was like, what the?
- [65:52]
Alan Heist
Like, I was just starting, literally.
- [65:54]
Christopher Cantasi
And then I remember I had like, another, like, a YouTube channel with my cousin too. And we sat there in my garage and we did a cover to what song is it? I can lift you up, I can show you where you want. Anyways, that one. And so we did that. We posted it and it was on his YouTube. But then later on, I don't know, he deleted it. So it was always like these like, attempts, but then like, fell because it's like, okay, no, we're going to delete it because. No, but then I always wanted to do like, more like vlogs and stuff like that. But I was always embarrassed. I was like, embarrassed to like, oh, what are people gonna think? Like, with my camera, what are people from school gonna think? Or what is, you know, so what are my cousins gonna think? So it was always like, what are people gonna think? So then I just, like started training myself to be like, you know what? Who the cares what people think? Who cares? Like, at the end of the day, they're still gonna talk to you about you. Like, regardless whether, like, you're wearing an ugly shirt or whether you're posting that fucking TikTok, like, they're still gonna throw want to talk about you. So then when I was like. I think I started. Yeah, like around covet time. So I must have been like around 19 because I was like what 2019. It was around co time where I was like, you know what it like I'm gonna jump on this little like tick tock wave. And so I did. And my first viral video was that one that I explained to you earlier where like my mom was like mopping and I was like mopping and she's like hi peroba. And then she slapped the out of me and then like it just like blew up.
- [67:13]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [67:14]
Christopher Cantasi
And so from there I like kind of caught that wave and I was like, okay, we're gonna keep doing like little skits like that where like I'm just annoying you or like I burned the frijoles or like I'm like just making obnoxious noises, like making pancakes, going to the tin, the tin cup. Just like. She's like, I see. No, like you know, we just started doing those. And then from there like I got into a relationship and I stopped being consistent completely like for like maybe like a like two years maybe I started back up like after the breakup because we were together for like two years. And so like after those two years I started back up my TikTok. I think. I think I had like, I had gotten to like maybe like 90k or something like that and it just like stayed there like stagnant. I like stopped posting completely. And then after the two years I decided like oh like I'm gonna do something new. Like I'm gonna keep posting like it. And so me and my mom like sometimes like our family will have like karaoke nights and we'll have like we'll be stupid and we'll be like like you're already so and so cantasi. So I was like, oh, I want to do that for like one the of my videos and I'm gonna like do like a parody. A parody version. Cuz like when I was little growing up, like I would watch like the parody like the parody videos where they would do like the parody of like just any song.
- [68:18]
Alan Heist
Movies.
- [68:18]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, like, like that. And they would do like the like the songs and they'd be like diss tracking and like that. So I was like oh, like I kind of want to bring that back and like put it into light but like in my own perspective. So actually my first video I think was like in the garage. It was me and my mom and I was like Christopher canta see. And like I did my little flip and then I was I was singing her the song and then that video, like, literally, like, it just blew up and it started getting like, really, really good attraction. So from there I was like, okay, like, I'm going to change my whole, like, name on my bio to Christopher Kantasi because people like it and people like, would see me, like, and I started like blowing up, like, literally like from like 90k followers. I was like, already like at 300k, maybe like by the by, like the next couple videos that I started posting. And I remember like being like out in public and people would be like. And just like kind of like. And I don't know, that kind of like made me feel good because, like, okay, well, people like, like it, so I'm gonna keep doing that right now. I kind of like slowed down a little bit too. But why? Just because, like, I don't know why really. Sometimes you good in like the funk and you're like, okay, like, I need to take a break. But I've recently been getting back into the funk of like, you know, posting and like, I'm being like, a little bit more active on YouTube reels and like a little bit more active on Instagram and like trying to be more active on Tick tock too and just like keep going because, like, you know, sometimes you get in your little fun long, but you got to just keep yourself accountable and just keep pushing and pushing and pushing. How did the whole flamingo thing come to be Flamingo? Yes.
- [69:42]
Alan Heist
So because I feel like that is
- [69:45]
Christopher Cantasi
what like people like in every video.
- [69:47]
Alan Heist
It's like, okay, when is he gonna make that comment to have her mom go crazy.
- [69:51]
Christopher Cantasi
My mom has like really skinny legs. I kind of do too. My, like, we all kind of have my mom's legs, but it's just kind of like I've always called my mom that, like, since a kid. Like, since I was like 10 years old. I remember we went to this zoo and I was like, she. I was like. And she's like, and this and that. So then I was like, yeah, like, I'm just going to use that like in my videos. Like, I'm going to call you Don Flamingo or like say that you have flamingo legs and stuff like that. So that kind of became like a point of like. Like, that's where the, what's it called? Like, that's where the, that's where the twist comes in. Like, oh, she's going to get mad because I called her out on her flamingo legs.
- [70:29]
Alan Heist
You know, with her parents, sometimes they can see one comment and they're like, oh, my God, everyone thinks I'm horrible. You in a lot of videos, you know, and you know, I'm sure you guys have gotten comments where like, oh, this isn't funny. This is Maltrato. Or like, this is. Yeah, like, you know, and obviously, like, you know, you guys, at this point, I'm sure you guys do skits where it's like, okay, this is kind of what we're going to do. This a funny video, just kind of free ball it. Do you feel like it's ever affected your mom? Like, maybe the comments or maybe you guys were like, you know what? Like, maybe people think that my mom really is abusive, but we're just having fun. It's funny because those catch do be looking hella real. Has that conversation ever gotten brought up where your mom's like, you know, But
- [71:19]
Christopher Cantasi
like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, my mom loves it. She's the one that's like, hey, like, she's literally my manager. She's like, okay, we're gonna do this and we're gonna do this song. She'll. She'll send me, like, songs. She's like, yeah, should do it to like, the background of this song. Cuz right now, like, I use like a lot of like Taylor Swift or like Justin Bieber, like, you know, like background music. And then I kind of like do my own words to it. She's always like, she's like, someone told me Amanda. And then my mom, she goes out more, like, out there, like, like in Bakersfield, like, more than me because I really, like, I just go to work and then most of my time I come out here, like, really, like, just to hang out with friends and stuff. So she's always like, no, You know, like, she's.
- [72:06]
Alan Heist
She's like, loving it.
- [72:07]
Christopher Cantasi
Literally, like, she's always like getting approached, like, oh, like, oh, my God. Yeah. One time, I remember we were like at Costco and like a car like, literally, like, pulled up, like, basically, like, almost ran us over. We were all scared. And it was like a group of girls and they were singing my song. They were like. And they're literally, like, seeing the song. So my mom was literally, like, oh, my God. Like, that's so funny. Like, you need to keep doing, like, videos free ball them.
- [72:40]
Alan Heist
Or do you just practice them?
- [72:42]
Christopher Cantasi
No, like, literally. I'll just set up the camera. I'm like, okay, ready guys? One, two, three, go. And it's just kind of like freestyle.
- [72:49]
Alan Heist
I love it. You know that, you know, you do have your 9 to 5 and you're also in school and also you know, trying to do full time content creating. What is that schedule like for you? You know, what does your day to day look like for you and how do you balance, you know, being a student, going to your job and also trying to, you know, maintain your social media presence online.
- [73:12]
Christopher Cantasi
I did graduate from from college in May of last year. I got my bachelor's degree so I'm no longer in school now. But juggling that was a little bit hard because I did work. The good thing though is that where I work at, I have a good work life balance because I'm only like my minimum requirement of hours to work is 20 hours. So basically like my work week looks like anywhere between like 20 hours to like 25 hours sometimes when like they really need help. Like yeah, I'll do like maybe 30, 35, but my requirements only like the 20 hours.
- [73:44]
Alan Heist
Okay.
- [73:45]
Christopher Cantasi
So it usually ranges between 20, 25. So I think that that's easy. Like my shifts literally look like oh like from 8am to 12pm or like from 1 to 5, you know, okay, chill shifts, like four hour shifts, get there, get out, like you know, sometimes here and there it'll be like an eight hour shift. But I mean that's fine. Like one time a week it's like gonna kill me. So it's like honestly not hard to balance it. It's like I like having like the normalness of that because I like to, you know, like I like to talk to people because like at my work like I'm starting to like open accounts and like how people apply for credit cards and it's just kind of like a place for me to kind of like escape like you know, like just being at home all day, you know.
- [74:22]
Alan Heist
Do you see yourself ever like leaving your job to like really pursue and lock in on like doing social media?
- [74:28]
Christopher Cantasi
I would love to, I really would love to. I just think I need to give myself that extra push and just like, you know, just like not be lazy about it and just sit down and like really like plan it out really. But I do enjoy where I work, like just like the benefits like because like Tick Tock isn't going to give me Kaiser and I need like, you know, like I need like, because I did try to like apply for like health insurance like without it and stuff and I got like denied like three times. So I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna stop trying like let me to get myself a job because I didn't Work for a whole year. And then, like, for that whole year, I was just doing social media. Social media. Social media. I liked it. It was fun. I was getting like, like, you know, brand deals here and there. But then I was like, no. Like, I kind of, like, want to step into, like, a routine. Like, I want to have a routine for myself. Like, and then I got fat. Like, I was getting so much weight just being at home, like, just eating, like, everything. So I was like, I need to find myself a routine. So I found that job and I started working and I enjoy it. I mean, it's easy. Like four hour shifts. And like, right now I was literally off Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Like, and I don't go back to work. Yeah, literally I don't go back to work until like, tomorrow. And it's like a short shift, like 1 to 5, you know.
- [75:33]
Alan Heist
What do you feel like are the pros and cons of social media?
- [75:36]
Christopher Cantasi
The pros and cons of social media? I mean, obviously I've always said that, like, social media, it's like, I mean, it's. To me, it's easy because I don't really spend too much time editing. I just kind of like, record, like, clip, like, you know, whatever needs to be done and then boom, Post.
- [75:49]
Alan Heist
Yeah.
- [75:50]
Christopher Cantasi
So for that part, like, it's easy. It really doesn't. For me, it doesn't take that much of my day because I don't really do like, the whole editing, editing or anything. And also, like, maybe if I did do YouTube, maybe that's where I would be like, okay, I need to sit down and I need to, like, edit and here and there. Sometimes, like, I'm so lazy when it comes to doing that because I'm like, like, do I even know how to edit? Like, yeah, like, I don't know. Like, so that's like one of the pros for me. Like, that it's just like, so easy. And like, also, like, I mean, it is easy money sometimes. Yeah. To just kind of like get this brand deal or like, you know, make the money from the little creator fund that Tick Tock has and stuff like that. So I think that those. That, that would be like the pros of it for sure. And then the pros from working. Yeah. Like, you do get to interact, get to kind of like separate and be like, more like in the real world, you know, like meeting these people, like, real problems and stuff. And like. But it's fun. I. I don't know. I think it's fun because I'm a yapper. Like, I love to talk to people, so it's like, I love, like, helping people open up accounts because then I start to get, like, a little bit nosy with their life. And then sometimes there's people that walk in, like, oh, like, actually, like, this is, like, embarrassing, but, like, I love your videos and, like, blah, blah, blah. Like, they'll want to take pictures with me in my work outfit. I'm just like, I'm like, let me hide the name. I was like, hiding the name tag. Like, but yeah, I mean, it's cool. I, I, I enjoy it. The cons of social media, I would say sometimes, like, the hate comments, you know, there's always somebody that's gonna be hating on you. And also, like, sometimes, like, you're, you realize who your friends are too, through social media. Like, they be the first ones to not like your video. They'd be the first one to not repost.
- [77:12]
Alan Heist
They'd be the first ones your story.
- [77:13]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, but really, like, just be like, all up on you. Like, oh, like, I'm proud of you, but from a distance, you know, so it kind of, like, show showed me too. Like, oh, like, who I can really rely on and who I can't. Those would be the cons. Also, like, sometimes people could be, like, really mean on social media. Like, I've literally gotten, like, death threats, like, on my comments and stuff. Like, oh, like, I'll kill you and your family. And like, stuff like that. I'm like, I'm just doing a little dancing.
- [77:37]
Alan Heist
No, I feel like people do sometimes online, like, they feel so much. And you know what's crazy? Sometimes, Sometimes, like, you don't even know what to take serious or not. Like, yeah, you can be like, you know what? This person just said he's going to kill me. Maybe it's a troll. Maybe. Let me not give it too much importance, but what if it's someone that, you know that's for real? Like, oh, sure. And it's like, no. Like, I don't know. I think social media has so many pros and so many cons, but I definitely do feel like the pros outweigh the, you know. You know, I'm gonna leave you with the question. Relationship wise, family wise, career wise.
- [78:30]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, I hope to be in a relationship. I hope to be happy. I hope to have grown a lot more on social media. Hopefully, like, se, like the laziness. And I actually, like, grow. I want to start a YouTube channel. I've actually thought about being, like, a podcast host. So, yeah, like, hashtag, like, motivation you know, and I liked how this interaction went and it really like kind of like showed me like, okay, maybe this is something that I would like to do, but definitely, like start being more active on YouTube in the next five years for sure. Maybe step into streaming. I always tell myself like, oh, I want to try streaming. Like just try things that I haven't tried before and then hopefully and keep trying.
- [79:11]
Alan Heist
To. Make sure you guys do. I will leave all his social medias down below as well as on the screen right here right now. Make sure you guys do so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And and with that being said, thank you so much for being here.
- [79:40]
Christopher Cantasi
Yeah, thank you for having me.
- [79:46]
Alan Heist
And thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one.
- [79:50]
Christopher Cantasi
Bye guys.
- [79:52]
Alan Heist
Yay. You did so good.
- [80:03]
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- [80:48]
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- [80:51]
Christopher Cantasi
This week at Safeway and Albertsons, Fresh
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Christopher Cantasi
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- [81:13]
Christopher Cantasi
These deals won't last.
- [81:14]
Ad Host 2
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