← Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Crystal Izaguirre Talks All: Toxic Childhood, Relationships, Cheating, Getting Fired, CHISME & MORE!!
01:09:53
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- [00:01]
Commercial Narrator
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- [00:30]
Crystal
He didn't pay attention to none of his kids. He treated us so bad. With my mom, he didn't really care about her either. He just like always, was possessive over her. Like trying to find out if she was ever cheating. Not, not showing her off. Just like having her hidden in the house when he would like go out and. Che.
- [01:00]
Alan Ice
What is up, you guys? I'm your host, Alan Ice and this is Noche de Pendejas, your favorite podcaster and talk show. And on the Yotrago Atus influencers para practicar y pochar. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight. Crystal.
- [01:25]
Crystal
Hola. Hola. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much, Alan. No, Shade, I'm so excited.
- [01:43]
Alan Ice
What makes you nervous? Do you feel like it's just like nerve wracking talking about yourself? Because I feel like you're really good at talking.
- [01:48]
Crystal
Yeah, I know I talk a lot, but I'm nervous because I never been in a setting like this. It's professional vibes.
- [01:54]
Alan Ice
She's like, I'm so used to just yapping away in my little phone. Fun fact, amigas. I started getting comments. A couple months ago. And I started like looking into you and I'm like, you know what, Crystal? And I'm so excited that we're making it happen.
- [02:30]
Crystal
I'm so excited. I can't believe this is real.
- [02:36]
Alan Ice
So you can tell us a little bit more about who you are and what you do.
- [02:40]
Crystal
My name is Crystal and I'm a YouTuber, I'm a tick tocker and I'm gonna start streaming on Twitch. Well, I'm a Streamer now. I'm 19, I'm from Atlanta, Georgia and that's it. Comas. No, Shade.
- [02:58]
Alan Ice
I know you've been here like a whole week, maybe.
- [03:02]
Crystal
No, like two, three days.
- [03:03]
Alan Ice
I know you guys. Oh, what have you been up to? Como espasado? Has this been like your first LA trip?
- [03:14]
Crystal
This is my first time in la.
- [03:16]
Commercial Voice
Yeah.
- [03:17]
Crystal
Freaking no way.
- [03:20]
Alan Ice
I didn't realize we ship her back.
- [03:23]
Crystal
Yeah, I'm about to get shipped back to Atlanta. No, honestly, I love it here. Well, I love at la. I love the palm trees everywhere. Like, gorgeous outside. It's crazy, though. Like, it's crazy. This LA trip was so crazy to me, like, seeing LA for the first time, I wanted to walk to the Hollywood sign, but it's kind of far. No shade.
- [03:44]
Alan Ice
But no, it is kind of far because you guys, a lot of people think they're in LA when they're in oc. If you know, you know, because we're in oc. But a lot of people do think, like, they're in LA when they come to oc. You were staying, what, like, next to Anaheim? Yeah. No. Give you an LA trip. But I feel like you've been doing a lot. You've been collabing a lot with people. You went to Y's party, which is where I met her for the first time. Because I was a little nervous to meet you for the first time. Like, I can el podcast. So I feel like when I met.
- [04:14]
Crystal
You at Yoazi's parties, Yes, I loved him at Yoatsis. I was like, but no, but when I saw you, you were perfect.
- [04:21]
Alan Ice
I was already. Oh, Ah. You're like, not today. You're like, today, literally. How was the party for you, though?
- [04:31]
Crystal
It was so good. I saw all my favorite influencers. I saw everyone that I see on the Internet. It was so weird.
- [04:38]
Alan Ice
I had a lot of fun meeting her. So we're going to go ahead and start with your childhood because I feel like it's very important. How was Crystal growing up? How would you describe your childhood.
- [05:06]
Crystal
Growing up? I feel like I was very shy. Well, yeah, like, the early years, I was very shy because I didn't know English when I. When I started school. Yeah, I didn't know English in elementary school, but then after that I made a lot of friends and, yeah, I feel like I was very popular, like, in elementary school, middle school, and.
- [05:26]
Alan Ice
Yeah, I think you're, like, the only person I know that, like, is from Atlanta, actually.
- [05:30]
Crystal
Really?
- [05:30]
Alan Ice
Yeah. I mean, I hear a lot of Atlanta, like, on baddies.
- [05:34]
Crystal
Yeah.
- [05:34]
Alan Ice
Like, the girls are always repping. Atlanta Persona. Que viva. That is from there. I don't really know what was it like growing up in Atlanta.
- [05:42]
Crystal
People are mean and you just have to get used to it. My favorite thing about Atlanta, you know what I realized? LA doesn't have Zaxby's. Do you know what that is? Really?
- [05:50]
Alan Ice
Zaxby.
- [05:51]
Crystal
Not you too? No. Shame.
- [05:52]
Alan Ice
What is that?
- [05:54]
Crystal
It's just like chicken. Like, it's just like. It's not chicken, but it's like food. It's a. It's a fast food restaurant and it's so good.
- [06:00]
Alan Ice
It's giving like kings.
- [06:01]
Crystal
Yeah. Vibes for better. But really. Yes, because we have. We. They gave us canes over there. Now I'm like, they cave us. No shade. I feel like Atlanta is really known for like the clubs for the celebrities over there. The clubs are nice, but if you go so often, it does get boring after a while. But they like, yeah, it's nice over there. It's. The city is pretty.
- [06:20]
Alan Ice
Growing up, you were very shy. And I feel like, Orita, you're like the complete opposite of that. Do you remember what changed in you? That you stopped being shy? Because, Orita, you're not even shy at all. But, like, I feel like if people see you online, like, you're nowhere near shy.
- [06:36]
Crystal
I know, but it's because when I was in elementary school, I started getting a lot of friends. And then in middle school too, I started a YouTube channel. And then people would copy me too. Like, they would make one too. So I was like, girl, no shade. But I started first, literally. Like, it brought people closer to me. Like, everyone would really like me. Like in sixth grade. I had so many friends in sixth grade because I wanted to be a.
- [06:59]
Alan Ice
Part of your videos.
- [06:59]
Crystal
Yes. And then, yeah, they would make their own channels too. But then it kind of like it disappeared after a while. Like, you know, once you got older and stuff. Yeah. And then in seventh grade, I had to move schools really far away from my hometown. And bro, by then I didn't, like, I. It was so hard to make friends in that school because it was more white people in that school. And I didn't like, I didn't continue YouTube at that school anymore. I don't know if it was because I was a new kid, I didn't grow up with them or something. But yeah, they were mean as hell to me. Like, I did try to continue my YouTube. Like, I would post. I literally post probably like two videos. But I couldn't because at that school, yeah, I was getting bullied.
- [07:35]
Alan Ice
Slick. For what? Just for like being Mexican or what was.
- [07:38]
Crystal
Yeah, really? Ok. It was only me and like two other Mexican girls in that school. One of the Mexican girls had beef with me because, I don't know, like, who's more Mexican?
- [07:49]
Alan Ice
Literally.
- [07:49]
Crystal
I remember I was sitting on the bleachers because I was really quiet once I came to this school, I was quiet. I was sitting on the bleachers and then this girl comes up to me and she's like, why are you so loud on Instagram? You post so much on Instagram, but then when you come to school, you don't say anything to anyone. And I'm like, what? Like, what the does that have to do with you? Like, and I didn't even know her. Like, I didn't talk to her like that. That's when I was like, oh, hell no. People are just picking on me for no reason at point. Like, it gave jealousy. Like, when you're in middle school and high school, people, like, just talk about anything. And in that school, it was bad because, you know, there were, like, no Mexican girls in that school. So, yeah, they had me up.
- [08:29]
Alan Ice
Parents. Growing up, do you feel like you were more of, like, a daddy's girl, a mommy's girl?
- [08:34]
Crystal
I feel like growing up, I was more of a mommy's girl because my mom. No, she has and everything. She still does everything for me. It's so bad. Like, I'm really a papachada. And my dad, he doesn't really do much, but he just off, like, provides with, like, you know, the house, like, everything that a dad would provide for. Because my dad works in construction. That's all he does. It's like he goes to work, comes straight home. So he doesn't think like that. Like, he doesn't think, like, real problems. I don't even think he thinks, like, no. I'm like, does he think?
- [09:06]
Alan Ice
But it's like a traditional dad. Like, they go ahead and just provide, but they kind of forget that, enable to be a dad. There's more than just providing. It's like, you have to be there emotional, only for your kids. Did you feel like your dad was never, like, emotionally present for you?
- [09:18]
Crystal
Yes. Never. Like, he doesn't show really any emotions at all. I would try to open up to my dad about things, but he just shows no emotion. Really? Like, yeah. I don't really know.
- [09:30]
Alan Ice
How would that make you feel?
- [09:31]
Crystal
I feel like I got used to it. Like, I feel like that that was a new normal for me because, yeah, I couldn't tell my dad anything. I remember that I wanted to buy, like, a book at the store. I really wanted the book. I was like, please, dad. It was a little mental health book. A little bit. I asked him if he could buy it for me this in middle school, and he told me, no, how the is a book gonna help you in your mind? And then after that, I was like, damn. I will never, like, really be able to go to him, like, about my mental problems.
- [09:55]
Alan Ice
Never do you feel like your mom was a little bit more understanding and was more there for you when it came to, like, emotionally?
- [10:01]
Crystal
Yes, my mom does help me a lot with everything, like, mentally. Yeah. Like, my mom would always, like, hug me when I would cry and stuff. She would pray for me even. My mom has always been emotionally there for me. That's why I feel like I don't really care that my dad hasn't been there, because, like, my mom provided so much that I didn't need my dad.
- [10:19]
Alan Ice
You know, nos cuentas that the book that you wanted that your dad didn't want you getting was kind of like a mental health book. What was your mental health like for you to be like, you know what? Normal. A lot of kids are like, oh, I want the Diary of the Wimpy kid book, but you're over here like, oh, no, I need help with my mental health. Yeah, your mental health was, like, something that you really wanted to, like, figure out at such a young age.
- [10:39]
Crystal
Because in middle school, I would get bullied, like, bad. I feel like I never talked about this, but, like, in middle school, after I had moved schools, I got bullied really bad because I was only Mexican there. So they would say hella about me, like, oh, why are your arms so hairy? They even said that I look like Momo. No, she. Honestly, I was like, girl, y'. All. But no, no, like. And my teacher was, like, rude as to me, too. I was literally living a nightmare in middle school, and I thought, like, that's what life was gonna be like. I couldn't wait to leave. I had a teacher. I don't know what her name was. I think it was, like, Ms. Miller or something. But I remember I was in class, and she was like, like, I used to wear the same sweater every single day. But that's how it is in middle school. You wear the same clothes every day. Like, cartoon character vibes. And I was wear the same sweater every single day. She was like, you wear that sweater so much. Do you even wash it? Like, she said it so loud.
- [11:27]
Alan Ice
The teacher.
- [11:27]
Crystal
My teacher said that? Yeah.
- [11:29]
Alan Ice
And what did you say? You're like, I don't know.
- [11:31]
Crystal
I didn't say anything. I literally didn't say anything. Like, I was so hurt. Slick.
- [11:36]
Alan Ice
Did you ever, like, go to your principals or did you ever tell your mom, like, hey, mom, this is what's going on in school. The kids are bullying me. Even the teachers bullying me. Did you ever, like, reach out for help, like, to an adult?
- [11:46]
Crystal
I did. But the thing is that School was so, like, ghetto. We had a shortage of teachers. I guess we needed her. No shade.
- [11:53]
Alan Ice
But, yeah, you grew up in a very toxic home. You know, your parents were constantly, like, arguing or just being abusive. So when do you remember was the first time in your childhood that you saw, you know, your parents argue? What would they argue about? What was the atmosphere of your house growing up? Y como cres que tunes momentos esta affectando. What was going on at home?
- [12:16]
Crystal
The first thing I could remember if my parents, like, my mom has always, like, recorded videos of my dad because, like, she gets scared of him sometimes because, I don't know, like, sometimes I think of my dad and he's like, I don't know what his problem is. He's always been, like, jealous of my mom a little bit, thinking that she's, like, talking to another guy. Even in my YouTube videos, like, he doesn't. Like, if my mom comes out in them, I. I feel like he wants to keep her hidden. Well, before I was born, he would cheat on my mom. But, like, after I was born, and, like, by the time I could remember, like, six years old, they would argue so bad. My mom would always tell him, like, I'm gonna get a divorce. I'm gon the police on you. This is constant. Like, my. Like, this has always happened for so long to the point that, like, I'm so used to it by now. The first time I realized that it wasn't normal is because one day my parents were working in the backyard together. She came inside, like, inside of the house, running, and she was crying, and, like, her fingers were all bloody. She had to go get surgery. Like, we had called my sister to. To help us. Really quick she came. She took my mom to the hospital. Her arms kind of got, like, cut off a little bit. Like, her fingers. Wait, her fingers go, like. Yeah, like, they're like, now they're stuck, like, the same way forever. Her and my dad were working on the tractor, and supposedly my mom had, like, I'm like, allegedly, my mom told him, like, don't start it. Don't start it. I'm gonna look at something really quick. And he was like, I'm not. But they were arguing the days prior. So he was like, I'm not. I'm not. And then, like, he started it. And her fingers. Like, it was blades. Yeah, it was blades. As my mom went to the hospital, like, he took me and my brother to eat Wendy's. Like, I've never ate Wendy's in my life. Like, but, yeah, he Took us to Wendy's. It was in middle school. I felt so weird. I assumed it was a fucking crazy accident because, you know, why would my dad do that to my mom?
- [13:58]
Alan Ice
Growing up in that environment can sometimes create a sense of, like, always feeling on edge, you know, My dad was also very abusive with my mom growing up. You know, I remember I told this story before. There was even, like, a time where I would even asleep with, like, a little knife, like, by the side of my bed, just because I'm like, oh, my God. And he tries to hit my mom. I think when I started getting older, I started realizing, like, oh, this isn't normal. And it almost created, like, fear in myself. Did you ever felt like you were on edge?
- [14:32]
Crystal
Yes. Like, I felt scared. Like, even now when they argue, me and my little brother, we get scared because we're the only two in the house left left. Like, all of my older siblings, like, they have their own families now. And then my older sister, she doesn't live with us, so it. It is scary. Like, when they argue, like, it'll get really bad. Like, my mom will still say the same things from years ago. Like, she threatens him with the police and that she wants to get a divorce. It always ends the same. My mom really doesn't have anywhere else to go. She depends on my dad completely. When I was little, I would just let them argue because if my dad really does, like, go crazy because he has, like. Like one time he was angry at my mom, and we were sitting in the car, and he literally hit the steering wheel so hard. Like, so hard because he was angry at my mom. So, like, I. Like, even when I was little, I didn't say anything. I still don't say anything because, like, worst case scenario, like, he'll go crazy on all of us. Like, so I'll just, like, tell my mom, you know, like, just go somewhere else. Tell my dad to just go in the room already. I'll never, like, go in front of him and tell him, like, like, what you're doing is wrong. You're crazy. Like, no. Yeah.
- [15:37]
Alan Ice
Have you ever had a moment where you've talked to, like, either your mom or your dad were like, hey, you know what? Like, I don't, like, when you guys get like this. Like, I fear for myself or I fear for my mom. Have you had a conversation with your dad or mom about it?
- [15:51]
Crystal
Well, me and my mom, we are really close, so we talk a lot about my dad and his issues. Not issues, but, like, about their arguments. I just feel for her because there's nowhere else she can really go. There's nothing we can really do. It's not like we can just move out. My dad pays for everything. He takes care of all of us financially. I never say anything because I feel like saying less is more. Like, occasionally I'll be like, you're really crazy, or something like that. But I feel like saying less matters more. So I never really go all out crazy on him. And. Yeah, I don't know.
- [16:25]
Alan Ice
Are your parents still together? That I've seen Tik Toks, where you kind of almost, like, made it seem like your parents aren't together or. So if you feel comfortable, you know, talking about that.
- [16:36]
Crystal
My parents are still together. Yeah. Like. Like, we both live in the same house. Well, all of us live in the same house. My mom and my dad. It does get rocky sometimes, but for the most part, like, it's the same routine. We live in a routine like, my mom cooks for my dad. My dad comes home, he eats it. Like, Fridays, he'll take her out to eat. It's the same routine. I don't think it's really 50. 50, though. But, like, it's what. Just what we have to put up with because, you know, he's our dad.
- [17:02]
Alan Ice
Because I have seen a TikTok where you were kind of a little bit like, oh, he's with his other family. Or he's. Is that, like, jokes? It's just like. Or it's, like, real.
- [17:10]
Crystal
That's a joke. Because my dad's password. Is his ex named Cynthia?
- [17:14]
Alan Ice
Yes. Okay. Okay. This is what I. What's the lore of all that? Because I feel like a lot of people, too, Crystal. I feel like, especially recently, that you've, like, blown up so much. Like, a lot of people see, like, little snippets of, like, the lives, and there's, like, not really any contexto. And that's one of the things I'm like, wait, what do they mean about, like, this password? What's going on? Are her parents not together us? About that lore.
- [17:38]
Crystal
My dad's password is his ex's name, Cynthia. And I found out because my parents were arguing, and my dad, like, he's kind of crazy about my mom, but he called me and he passed me the phone to the worker, and the worker was like, hey, like, your dad needs his bank password because he's trying to buy a tracker. And my dad literally told him. He was like, no, no, no, don't say that. Just say my password. And then the guy chuckled. He was like, okay, like, like, he didn't even want me to know that he was, like, buying a freaking tracker for my mom because my mom stopped sharing her location with him. Him. Yeah. But it was because they were arguing. I had made him screen share his whole phone, go through all his pictures, go through his notes to find the password, and it was his ex's name. Literally. My heart dropped. Like, I was like, oh, hell nah. Yeah. I went on live and I told everyone I'm. She's most. I told everyone everything about me.
- [18:23]
Alan Ice
Your comadres know everything. They really do. I. I love that, though, because I even be seeing lives of you and your mom. Cheese miando. And it's like the whole camera is right there. I'm like, babes, like, everyone's hearing your cheese right now. How does your mom feel?
- [18:36]
Commercial Narrator
Like.
- [18:36]
Alan Ice
Because I feel like I've seen tik toks too. Where, like, oh, where you've mentioned, like, oh, my mom doesn't care anymore. Do you feel like she's just so used to, like, the treatment and, like, the lifestyle that to her it's just like, whatever. It's just life?
- [18:47]
Crystal
Yes. Like, my mom says, like, if my dad cheats on her, she won't really care. And I know it does hurt a little bit, but I feel like my mom really is over it. I feel like she does just want peace and to just, like, move out and to be by herself. She loves her kids more than she loves my dad, and that's why she's still with him, but also because, like, she has really no other choice. Like, there's no other choice than to just, like, live.
- [19:12]
Alan Ice
How do you feel like seeing the relationship your parents have affected the way you see relationships? Do you feel like at points when you've gotten into relationships, you've almost fell into, like, the same cycles of, like, the toxicity or just, like, the maltratos? Or was it something that you always saw growing up and you're like, you know what? When I get a partner, I don't want my partner to treat me that way. I want to have a better relationship than my par parents have. How do you feel like growing up in that environment affected you in terms of relationships?
- [19:43]
Crystal
To be honest, I feel like in relationship growing up, my dad would always pay attention to my mom. Like, he didn't pay attention to none of his kids. He treated us so bad. But, like, with my mom, he didn't really care about her either. He just, like, always was possessive over her, like, trying to find out if she was ever cheating, not. Not showing her off just, like, having her hidden in the house when he would, like, go out and cheat, like, all before I was born. But then it did cause problems for us. But for me, I feel like I always try to find someone to, like, to love me and to, like, care for me. Like.
- [20:15]
Alan Ice
Like, fill that void.
- [20:16]
Crystal
Yes. Like, and then so, like, whenever I date someone, ugh, like, I care so much that, like, I want to, like, oh, you love me for a little bit. Like. Like, that's all the love I've ever felt. Like, it's the most biggest for me. Like, do you know what I mean?
- [20:29]
Alan Ice
Do you feel like as you've gotten older, you've learned to, like, like, understand that maybe that shouldn't be how you're, like, looking for love?
- [20:36]
Crystal
Honestly, I try not to, but I feel like it's just in me. Like, it's so hard.
- [20:40]
Alan Ice
It's like, daddy issues. I think that's, like, the word for it, like, where you, like, when girls maybe don't have the love from their father, like, abescando with, like, their boyfriends just to fill that void. Do you feel like that's something you suffer from?
- [20:54]
Crystal
I do, but I hate saying it because I feel like daddy issues is like. I feel like. Like, at this point, every girl has daddy issues. But I literally said that on my live and they were like, no, no, no. None of us do. No, we don't.
- [21:05]
Alan Ice
Just you babes. Like, literally. No, I know a lot of girls do that too. I feel like, me, I'm not a girl.
- [21:13]
Crystal
No.
- [21:14]
Alan Ice
But even I have daddy issues. Even seeing y and her dad dance so beautifully, and I'm like, oh, crazy daddy issues. Like, I wish.
- [21:22]
Crystal
And quinceanera is when I would see girls. Girls dance with their dad. I had a quinceanera and mine was so, like, not heartfelt, like, I danced with my dad, but, like, it was so, like.
- [21:32]
Alan Ice
Like, you just felt like you had to dance because it's part of the tradition. Yeah, not very much. Like, oh, my God, I can't wait. Because I feel like a lot of girls in their quinceanera, like, them wanting to dance with their dad is, like, a big highlight. Did you feel like, for you it was just like, oh, let's get it over with? Like, let's do a little violent for the pictures. Let's move on.
- [21:47]
Crystal
Yeah, I felt like it was like that literally for me and for him, Like, I was like. Like, you know, literally just I'm over here by the dance. But, yeah, I felt like it wasn't really like there was no feelings for.
- [21:59]
Alan Ice
Like, you know, what piece of advice can you give anyone watching that, you know, has grown up in a home similar to yours or has grown up in a situation where they feel like, you know, they want more love from a certain parent? What advice can you give your comadres watching right now?
- [22:17]
Crystal
It's so hard because I feel like I like I still haven't really. I feel like I still don't really love myself 100%. I feel like I still do look for love in a partner to fill the void for my dad. But just because our parents treated us bad, it doesn't mean that like we're up. Just because our our dad or our mom didn't give a about us, it doesn't mean like we're not worth anything. I try so hard to like, think that my dad is his own person. Like, he didn't know how to take care of me. He didn't know that I deserved love. Like, I don't think of it too hard. I feel like I suppressed my feelings for him when I was little. Growing up in that environment, I wish someone could have told me it's not my fault. It's not my fault that this is happening.
- [22:54]
Alan Ice
Did you ever feel like it was.
- [22:56]
Crystal
Like, yeah, Because I don't know. But I know that I like, I felt like a bother to my dad too. But yeah.
- [23:08]
Alan Ice
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- [24:47]
Crystal
Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.
- [24:54]
Commercial Voice
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Crystal
And breathe.
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- [25:15]
Crystal
1-800-Contacts.
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- [25:49]
Alan Ice
That, you know, because of maybe like the atmosphere you were in. That, you know, ended up turning crazy. What were the red flags that maybe now you're like, damn, I avoided those red flags where I didn't catch them on what led to the breakup and what ultimately led to what you were telling me this morning.
- [26:16]
Crystal
It was my first love because when I was in high school, well, I had never dated elementary, middle school, nobody wanted me. Like, so in high school I had dated this boy and we did fall in love. Like, it was my first love. It was so romantic. It was the most romantic thing ever. Like, I was 15 and like, you know, he did, like what nobody ever would have done for me ever. Like, you know, cuz I, like before this, I would get bullied before this. Like my dad, so like when he got me flowers, when he like got my name like stitched on his hat, like, I was like, oh my gosh, like, like, that's the one. Yeah. I'm like, this is the best I'LL ever have. Like, this is. No one's ever going to top this. We had broke up because, like, I guess he had joined the soccer team. He made new friends and you know, guys like, like, they become little hoes in high school. So after that, you know, that had happened, I never got over it. I never got over him. I would stalk him every single day. I would literally, like. Because it was the most love I've ever felt from anyone. So I was like, no one's ever going to love me like that ever again.
- [27:17]
Alan Ice
Did he cheat on you or did he just break up?
- [27:19]
Crystal
He just broke up with me. Like, literally. He basically said that he had to focus on soccer, he had to focus on his mom, mom in school and things like that. And then I was like, okay, that's fine. Obviously me. Like, everyone thinks like you're gonna get back together instantly after, but then you don't. Some months pass and then we talk again because I went to one of his soccer games, but I was secretly looking for him. Like, but he thought it was a coincidence because we hadn't seen each other in so long. But I would just like, girl, I was a stalker.
- [27:45]
Alan Ice
Yeah, where the is he gonna be at?
- [27:49]
Crystal
But honestly, I feel like I'll never be embarrassed, like about being crazy. But I went to a soccer game. And then after that, like, he texted me and I was like, just like, period. No shade. But he. I didn't have a ride home after the game. Like, literally I came to see him and that was it. Like, I didn't think of how I was gonna get home. But he texted me. He was like, hey, like, I saw you at my game. Like, I told him, yeah, I don't have a ride home. He was like, you should have told me. Like, I could have took you home. Home. And then we started talking a little bit after that. And then literally we worked together for one night. Freakiness. And then we never spoke again. Like, yeah, it wasn't my first time though. But like, wait, I'm like, before that. No, no, no. But I mean, like we didn't do nothing that freaky. Okay, okay, okay. No, like, no. Cuz I was, I've always been like, like, you know, waiting till marriage vibe vibes. Then after that, like he completely ghosted me. And like, bro, like guys always do that in high school though. Like, let's common like it's a canon event. It will happen to you. Two, three weeks after, like I found out he was dating one of my friends. Like in high school, one of my girlfriends and how did you find out?
- [29:00]
Alan Ice
And how did you feel?
- [29:01]
Crystal
How did I find out? Okay, I was crazy, right? So I noticed that they followed each other and literally like my heart dropped to my ass. Like I was like, oh hell no. Like, like this was my biggest heartbreak ever. Literally. And then I was crazy. So I texted her and I was like, girl, like, that's my ex. Like he's gonna do you so bad. Like, don't talk to him. You know me trying to do anything I could do. I know what he did to me was wrong, but I just didn't want him to be with her. Cuz like I was like, hell no, that's my friend. And I knew she was like, I knew she would fuck with him.
- [29:33]
Alan Ice
Like I knew she was a hoe.
- [29:35]
Crystal
No, I'm like, yeah.
- [29:36]
Alan Ice
Like I knew she was easy.
- [29:37]
Crystal
Yeah, like I'm like, like she with everyone.
- [29:39]
Alan Ice
What did she tell you when you told you that? Like, oh, mind your business. Ah. What did she tell you?
- [29:43]
Crystal
She was like, we're just friends. With the little crying emojis, all sarcastic. She was like, we're just friends. And then after that I went to a quinceanera. And like everyone in my city, like this was when, you know, 15, like when I was 15 in high school, my first love, we would all go to those places. She was there, her friend was there and he was there. I was sitting next to her, she was literally right next to me. And then her friend was next to her. They were basically talking about him in front of me. They were, they were like talking about him like, oh, when is he gonna come and stuff. And then I felt like her friend was trying to put her on with him. Like I was literally sneakily trying to look at the messages. Cuz her friend was texting him. He came in and some time passed and they started dancing together. I was so hurt. I went to the restroom and I cried. Cuz I was like, mom, pick me up. Like what the. But I cried like that should have been me. Literally, Literally. So I was literally like insane. Like. But then after that, did you tell him anything? Yes. Like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed actually. But literally that same day I was like, I might never see him again. I have to confront him now. So I. Well, once, like the party was ending and I was, I stayed there until he left. So I saw him leaving to go to his car. So I went to his car. He literally sat down in his car. Car. I went up to his car and like I was in front of Him. And I was like, what the are you doing talking to my friend? Like, she's my friend. And then he was like, bro, like, I don't want nothing to do with you. Like, you have to forget about me. And I was like, no. Like, how can you do that to me? Like, we were together, and then, like, you literally used me. Like, that's so crazy to me that you can do this. He wasn't trying to hear anything that I said. He was in the passenger seat, and I was right in front of him.
- [31:29]
Commercial Voice
Him.
- [31:29]
Crystal
And he got the car handle, and he tried to close it while I was in the middle right there. Like, he kept trying to close it.
- [31:34]
Alan Ice
Close the door on you?
- [31:35]
Crystal
Yes. With me right there. I was like, what the are you doing? I'm right here. Like, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going no where.
- [31:42]
Alan Ice
You're like, unless you want me to go home with you, that's where I'll go.
- [31:45]
Crystal
Literally, I'm like, wait. I was like, I'm not going anywhere. So he called his friend. I was inside of the party. He was like, bro, this girl is so crazy. She's out here, like, in front of my car. This girl is crazy. Crazy as. And then I'm like, what the hell? Like, oh. I said. I. I literally put it, like, in my YouTube video. Like, I was like, what the is your friend gonna do? Like, you can't fight your own battles. I wouldn't leave. Like, we were probably there for, like, 30 minutes already. So his brother had, like, pulled the gun out of the glove compartment. I literally. I think I kind of forgot what happened since it was so long ago. But, yeah, like, he had the gun to, like. I mean, I started. Me. I don't know what. Yeah, I was like, what the are you gonna do? Like, I'm a girl. Hell are you doing?
- [32:29]
Alan Ice
And were you scared in that moment? You're like, oh, this just got serious because, you know, what the are you doing? But then they pull out the gun on you, and you're like, oh, what the did I. What the am I doing? Like, were you scared in that moment? Do you feel like you blacked out a little bit?
- [32:45]
Crystal
I. Wait. I really do think I blacked out because, like, I was like, what the hell? Like, I don't really remember what I felt. I don't remember what I felt.
- [32:54]
Alan Ice
And what did the guy tell you? Like, get the out of here, or.
- [32:59]
Crystal
I don't remember, girl. I'm like. Like, I just remember saying, what the are you gonna do? I'm a girl. Like, what are you doing? And like, I just remember feeling so betrayed by him. I was so betrayed because it was my first love. It was the first time anybody ever treated me like I was anything, I was worth anything. And for him to get with my friend after, it just hurt so bad. But. But yeah, that was actually. That was traumatic.
- [33:25]
Alan Ice
How was healing from that relationship? You know, nos cuentes that that was kind of like your first time being in love and your biggest heartbreak, you know. What were the days after that situation happened? Like, after you realized like, you know what, maybe there won't be us getting back ever again. How did you cope or how did you heal from that breakup?
- [33:44]
Crystal
So they ended up getting together literally, like, probably, probably three days after that. She made tweets and stuff, like shady tweets. She would post things like, I'm not gonna let a random ruin my relationship. The girl that put him on with her. They would both make fun of me on their Instagram notes because I used to wear little fake tattoos, right? So they would put like fake ass tat. They would put like, oh, me and my homegirl are so funny. Like they would like shade me. So like every single day, every day that she dated him, it would be something about me. We would even go back and forth. Like, like I would say about her. Cuz sometimes I would clap, clap back. So we would go back and forth to each other even throughout those days. Like, I would literally wake up at seven in the morning. Like I would stay up all night because I couldn't sleep. And then I would wake up at seven in the morning and I would just sit out in my hammock outside and I would cry to sad music every, like every day. Like every single day.
- [34:38]
Alan Ice
Where do you see them? At school.
- [34:39]
Crystal
She went to my school and he went to a school across from from us. So I would see her at school. Yeah.
- [34:45]
Alan Ice
How was that?
- [34:46]
Crystal
It was hard. Like, oh my gosh, it's so. I'm so crazy. I would get my best friend to like, like I. I said like, ask her for hotspot and then like go through her phone to see what they're talking about. Like, literally. And I even snuck inside of his school. Yeah, I did.
- [35:02]
Alan Ice
Like, you're like, you gotta see me and hear me out.
- [35:04]
Crystal
Literally.
- [35:05]
Alan Ice
Would he be like, leave me alone or get the ciel? Like, was there a moment where it finally like hit you? Like, you know what, Let me leave him alone. What was happening that moment for you?
- [35:13]
Crystal
I think the moment was when they got together because When I snuck inside of a school, that was before all of this. Like, like when they got together, like I was so betrayed. Like, like, yeah, I did just let them be. Like that was when I would like wake up at seven in the morning and just cry. Like every single morning. Like literally it was my worst heartbreak ever. I would never let it get that bad.
- [35:35]
Alan Ice
Do you feel like that heartbreak affected your mental health, your confidence. Confidence and just the way you saw your self worth?
- [35:42]
Crystal
Yes. Because she was thick as, like I can. Like, like she was actually so pretty. So yeah, like it affected me so bad because I would think to myself, he's a good guy, but he's just not a good guy for me. Like I'm just not good enough. But eventually they broke up and he dated her friend, the friend that put him on with her. He. And he left her the same way too.
- [36:04]
Alan Ice
It's like how they say how you get them, you lose them.
- [36:06]
Crystal
Yeah. And then one of my friends works with her now with the friend of the girl and she said that he was her biggest heartbreak. But it's crazy because he, he, like she took him from the girl that took him from me.
- [36:19]
Alan Ice
Yeah.
- [36:19]
Crystal
And they were best friends and she would talk about me all the time. Like in her notes, they both would talk so much about me, they would go on live drunk talking about me. And literally it's so crazy how her friend took him from her.
- [36:32]
Commercial Voice
Her.
- [36:32]
Alan Ice
Do you feel like after finding that out, do you feel like you kind of were like, you know what, maybe it really was never a me problem. Like this has a problem. It's not about me.
- [36:40]
Crystal
Yeah, I was never the problem. I'm like, there's nothing wrong with me being all crazy.
- [36:46]
Alan Ice
I was never the problem. Did you have like a realization like that where you were like, you know what? Like maybe I blamed myself for not being able to keep a man or for not being, to be able to be thick enough for him or whatever was going on in your head. Did you like have a moment where you're like, you know what? This, this guy is just a shitty ass guy.
- [37:03]
Crystal
Yes. Like once I moved on from that, I realized that some guys just go from girl to girl to girl and it's like, like it doesn't, like it has nothing to do with you. Oh yeah. Like the way people are, it has nothing to do with you. If he's a good guy, he will genuinely just stay with you. But yeah, like, if not like he'll just go around like people. I feel like people like search for better than what they have until they end up with nothing.
- [37:27]
Alan Ice
Yeah. And I feel like it is very true that, like, you know, a lot of women sometimes even feel superior. Muchachita. You're like, oh, I'm the better or I look better, like, but it really is true. Like, the way you get your man is the same way you're gonna lose, literally. Because if you're being a hoe and the guy's being a hoe and you wreck a relationship, that guy thinks getu. Like, the same way he left the other girl for you is the same way he's gonna leave you for another girl. And that clearly happened with her later. After that relationship, you got into another relationship where, you know, the guy ended up cheating on you and came out as gay.
- [38:14]
Crystal
Yeah.
- [38:20]
Alan Ice
Was there ever moments throughout your guys's relationship where you're like, you know what? He's been a little sus. So special, but maybe it's not what I'm thinking. And what was the moment you found out that he was doing such behind your back?
- [38:34]
Crystal
I thought I genuinely found the love of my life with this guy because he was, like, really affectionate all the time. He would answer me within the same second, literally send me paragraphs and stuff. So I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is really the love of my life. I get. Guess I didn't realize until after the signs. Like, when we were together, like, he would literally, like, say really feminine things. Like, oh, the baddest. I'm like, wait, like, you watch Louis Castro too? Like, no shade. But this dude was so affectionate towards me. We'd go on such romantic days. Like, we would. Like, we made a memory box. We painted it together. It was so cute. Think he would do everything for me. Like, if I told him to come to my house, he'll be there, like, within the same hour. The same. The same 30 minutes. Like, so, basically, yes. Like, so good. Like, such a good boyfriend. He would try to, like. I don't know. I feel like he was kind of copy me and everything. I feel like he was really just too into me to be honest.
- [39:26]
Alan Ice
But he just wanted to be you at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [39:29]
Crystal
Yes. Like, all of my interest. Like, he asked, like, literally one time. He was like, I love that I'm catching on to your jokes. Like, I want to be funny, like, how you are. Like, I was like, oh, hell, not.
- [39:39]
Alan Ice
Like.
- [39:40]
Crystal
Like, be manly. No shade. Like, a little bit. But after that, he really broke up with me out of the blue because he really just. Oh, bro. Like, okay, so one time we were in the middle of the road, his car had shut down. I think one of his tires popped, and his dad came. And I talked to his dad. I met his dad. And then a little bit after that, like, he kind of made a little pretesto to break up with me. Like, we broke up because we were in an argument, so I stopped sharing my location. And then he broke up with me because I stopped sharing my location. Our breakup was so quick. He changed completely. Like. Like, bro, it felt like. I don't know, Like, I. Like, it hurt so bad because I was like, what the hell? Like, it was a facade. Like, it literally felt like it was a facade. Almost Like I was like, okay, we could have fixed that. Like.
- [40:28]
Alan Ice
Like, share my location back.
- [40:30]
Crystal
Yeah, literally. And then he said that I was making hella cheating jokes, because I remember he was like, I think it was like, I'm so in love with you. I honestly show you my ass one of these days. And I like, bish. Is it that feminine? But, hey, but. But I was like, honestly, that's enough to make me cheat. Literally. Like, I was just playing. But, like. Like, I feel like he was literally taking the, like, my little ass things that I said, and he was like, yeah, like. Like, I want to break up. Like, he said, yeah, you were making too many cheating jokes, and then you stopped sharing your location. Like. Like, yeah, like, I want to break up. So I was like, okay, probably a day passed or something, and, like, I tried to, but he called me and he was like, oh, like, I have somebody else and, you know, I don't want nothing to do with you. He literally told me that he used me as a cover up. Like, he used me as a cover up for his dad. And I was like, like. Like, I met his dad. Like, you know what I'm saying? So it was like. Like, after that, like, was. Yeah. Like, how did you feel when he.
- [41:28]
Alan Ice
Told you, like, hey, I have someone else. And it's like, like, how did you feel? Because I've always wanted to know, like, that pov. Because I was telling you, you know, I dated a good amount of girls in middle school. I came out officially, I want to say my freshman year of high school, but what was seventh and eighth grade? I dated about, like, five girls, right? And even now, I think about. I'm like, damn, that's kind of up. You know, it is a lot like you guys, y' all, way. Well, I wanted to cover it up. And I've always thought about it. I'm like, Damn. Like, I wonder how these girls, Girls felt later on in life when they saw their little middle school boyfriend putting on makeup. Like, how did you feel in that moment? Did you feel betrayed? Did you feel like, what the. Like, what is going on?
- [42:16]
Crystal
I was so angry. I was like. Like, I was like, why me? Me out of all girls? Like, you try me? Like, I just felt like, like kind of like a quala. Like, like he sees me as any other girl. Like, okay, like, I'm gonna just use her. I did feel betrayed. And honestly, I feel like that was the easiest heartbreak. I way. Like, it was like, what the fuck? I'm gonna be in competition with a guy. Like, it sucked because, like, he loved on me so bad, but it was so easy to get over him because he was gay. None of the messages were real. Like, with other guys. You reread the messages, you re look at the pictures. We never did anything sexual or anything. Like, all we did was kiss. Like, we didn't do anything. Like, like really sexual or anything. Everything. And after the breakup, it made sense. It was so easy to get over this heartbreak because it was literally fake. Like, I couldn't reread the old messages because it's like. Like there's nothing there. Like, like his feelings aren't real.
- [43:11]
Alan Ice
He.
- [43:11]
Crystal
His dick wasn't hard for me. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, he popped out with his significant other, like the. On my birthday. So I did cry, like, on my birthday, like a month after. I was so hurt. I don't know why, though, but apologize.
- [43:26]
Alan Ice
To you, like, for using you as like, his cover up?
- [43:28]
Crystal
No, he never apologized. I'm like, apologize now, right now in the comments.
- [43:32]
Alan Ice
I literally, literally. How do you feel like you're dating, Dating Life is like, now. Do you feel like you're currently dating or is, like, dating something that you're, like, not looking into? And when you are dating now, do you feel like there's like, red flags or things? You're like, you know what? Now after going through these relationships, I'm not going to, you know, ignore this red flag or if as soon as I catch a red flag, I cut them off. What does dating look like for you now?
- [43:55]
Crystal
I don't know. I feel like I'm not really looking to date because I feel like when I do date, I just care too much. Like, it affects my life. Like. Like it affects my, my job, it affects my, my relationship because, like, how they treat me is how I intend to feel that day. And I feel like it's never Going to change for me, like, since my dad, like, never loved me. So now whenever I love, like, I love so hard, I'm like, you're mine. Like, no, you can't. You can't love anyone else, like, like this. So that's why I, like, since I have moved on, because it was so hard to move on. Like, now that I can live peacefully. Like, after you move on from someone and you live peacefully, like, you need to be so grateful that you're able to live. Live peacefully without being heartbroken. Like, I get so grateful that I'm not heartbroken over anyone right now.
- [44:44]
Alan Ice
What's the piece of advice you can give anyone watching any of your comadres watching that are currently going through a really big heartbreak and feel like it will never get better for them?
- [44:54]
Crystal
To be honest, I feel like it literally hurts so bad in the beginning. Like, you could be going through the worst heartbreak ever and. And even your mind will play tricks on you and make you think, oh, it's because that is the real love of my life life. Like, you'll literally accept the bare minimum bottom of the barrel treatment, like, from someone. But to be honest, it's just because, like, you've never been, like, loved before like that. To be honest, I'm all, like, you've never been loved before. But I feel like time heals. Time is the only thing that can heal. And if you don't let time heal, you're just gonna go back to the same over and over again. You're gonna waste years in your life. People, people waste years with the wrong person. It's. And I've bro. It's so pathetic to me.
- [45:39]
Alan Ice
Like, don't settle for less. Because you'll never get those years back.
- [46:02]
Crystal
That's so true. Yeah.
- [46:03]
Alan Ice
You like what he said? That's the advice. Listen to Alan. You know, how are you in high school? Would you consider yourself, you know, the pelonera, the awkward kid? Were you popular? How are you in high school?
- [46:19]
Crystal
I made a good amount of friends, a good batch. I feel like in high school I was really messy. Like, I would never fight. I would never. I feel like I would, like, like, throw the rock and hide the hands. I love stirring the pot.
- [46:30]
Alan Ice
But tell me a situation where you stirred the pot. How messy is crystal?
- [46:36]
Crystal
To be honest? Like, Like, I would just bother people. Like, I would start beef with people. Like, but little fake arguments and, like, I would make jokes. I would record people in high school. Like, I would skip class a lot. Yeah, that's like ditching. Yeah, I Would ditch class a lot in high school.
- [46:51]
Alan Ice
Would you get caught ever?
- [46:53]
Crystal
Yes, I would. I would. Yeah. I would get in trouble. Bad. Like. Like, it caused me to get expelled when I was in 10th grade. That's when I started skipping. Like, it was so bad. It was every single day. Like, I would skip class. Like, chemistry was hard, as I would skip that class first. And then what I would do is I would skip class. I would go to the stores. I would steal food. Like, I would steal donuts, I would steal chips, and I would go back to class, and I would sell them. Like, I would sell the stuff that had stole. Like, I was so bad in high school. And I would walk miles to the store. Like, there was a Kroger near my school, and I would walk miles. I wouldn't do it by myself. I would do it with my friends. But, yeah, like, it was such a big thing to, like, skip. Like, everyone would skip in my school. I got caught, like, so many times that I had more absent days than I had days present. There was this one day in particular where, oh, it was so bad. I. Like, so I thought I was slick. Like, I thought I was slick. So me and my best friend at the time, we had walked out of the school. But this was after so many warnings. Like, Like, I had so many warnings already because one time, like, I was in Spanish class, and I left with the. With the pass. And my friend was like, oh, let's give. Let's leave. Let's go get something to eat. And I was like, wait, but I have a pass right now. Like, I'm literally holding the pass. So I left, and then I came back the next period, and my Spanish teacher stopped me, and she was like, you really left? With my past left outside of school. Like, what is wrong with. Like, she really, like, was judging me so bad. Like, I really got embarrassed. Like, I was like, oh, hell no. But I skipped the next day to.
- [48:25]
Alan Ice
Stop me from ditching, literally. So how did you get expelled? Like, they caught you, like, ditching again?
- [48:30]
Crystal
So basically, me and my best friend had walked out of my school, and then a teacher yelled. They were like, hey, hey, y', all, too. And then we kept walking out of the building.
- [48:40]
Alan Ice
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- [50:20]
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- [50:50]
Crystal
And then the police, like we heard the police start up like the car and then the principal. Like the person that was yelling that it was the principal. But we didn't know. So we turned around, we saw the principal and then we kept running. Like we kept running because what, what.
- [51:07]
Alan Ice
Gonna catch me?
- [51:07]
Crystal
Yeah, like I'm in the cop car now. Like, like, no, like I saw the cop car and I was like, oh, like, no, I gotta go because I, I didn't know if he saw my face or not. So then he goes inside of the cop car, he drives to us and they tell us to get inside of the cop car. So we get in, they take us back to the school and my principal like he takes us to the cafeteria. He goes in a microphone and he says, get a good look at these two because y' all never seeing them again. In my building, me and him, we were sitting there in the. In the front office. But by now, like. Like, none of the teachers liked me. None of the officers liked me. Nobody. Like, it was so bad because they would catch me skipping all of the time. Anyways, my mom comes to the school and my mom starts crying. Like, she's really disappointed in me. My principal tells her, like. Like, she's getting expelled. Like, these are her withdrawal paper papers. Like, her. It was like. It was like all my information in envelope. And my mom, she was like, is there anything I can do? Like. Like, how can I stop this? And, like, she was about to cry. And then he was like, no, there's nothing you can do. We gave her too many warnings. And then we leave. And it was completely silent in the car. And I was expelled after that. There was nothing. I didn't have a job. I was just at school. So, yeah, she took my phone. I would stay. I would really write songs. I would watch YouTube videos. Literally be in there. Like. Like, it was crazy. I felt so embarrassed. And truthfully, like, as the days went on, I felt like, like, no. And that. It felt like that was my whole world at the moment. Like, me, like. Like getting expelled from high school. I was like, like, I'm nobody. Like, I. Like, there's no. I'm not going to have anything going for myself now. Like, it's so bad. But I had emailed my principal and I was like, he let me in. Was like, can you let me in? I went up to the school with my mom. I was like, give me a chance.
- [53:01]
Alan Ice
One more and I won't it up. This is the next day.
- [53:03]
Crystal
Ah, yeah. So I went back to the school and he let me back in. I was like, wait. And then, yeah, he literally let me back in. Like, bro. Even my Spanish teacher was there to talk about it, to translate for my mom. I apologized to him. After that, I went back to school and. And I skipped one more time. They caught me. They caught me one more time. And after that, I foro. Stopped.
- [53:26]
Alan Ice
Like, I furo stopped for your graduation. Your parents didn't go. You know, why didn't they go to your graduation? What was graduation like for you? And what did it mean?
- [53:39]
Crystal
I had went to my graduation by myself. They had all the students get there at six and then the. The parents and everyone else get there at seven and. And I was sitting There I. I was making a YouTube video. Like, it's all on YouTube. And basically, like, I was sitting there. I was literally front row. I was the first row. I was like, this is so perfect. Like, my. My family's going to see me. Literally, like, the bleachers were right there. My. My mom and my dad, they're going to see me. Like, they were already calling all of the names, and I was calling. My mom was like, mom, where are you? Where are you? She was like, oh, I'm still getting ready. Like, I'm sorry I'm late. Like, I was just sitting there, and they were about to call my name. I called my brother. Brothers. I called my sister. I was like, where. Where is anyone? Like, is anyone gonna watch me walk across the stage? They called my name, and I was so heartbroken. Like. Like. Like, they had us all line up first, and, like, I told the girl behind me to cheer for me because, like, there was nobody gonna. There was nobody in the bleachers that were gonna cheer for me. I asked the girl behind was like, girl, can you, like, cheer for me a little bit? Like, none of my family's here right now. I don't even know if anyone cheered for. For me. Like, I kind of, like, zoned out a little bit. I was so hurt. I was really about to cry on the stage. Stage. I was literally about to cry on the stage because I was like. Like, I felt like I was doing it for no reason. Like. Like, really? I went to sit back down, and then I called my mom again. I was like, why are you still not here? Like, I already walked across the stage. Why are you not here? And then my brothers were, like, really mad at my mom, but my mom, really. She was literally just fashionably late. It's, like, so bad that no, like, nobody watched me. She really wasn't apologetic about it. After, like, the next day, after I'm dead, I literally got my hammock, and I cry sometimes. So I sat on my hammock, and I was bawling my eyes out so hard. Like, I was like. Like, I feel like I did it for no reason. Like, I. I literally graduated for no reason. And my mom, she was like, oh, me and your dad are gonna go out to E. Are you coming? And I was like, no. Like, I'm literally so hurt. I'm so hurt right now. Like, you didn't watch me walk across the stage. And she was like, oh, you'll get over it. Like, literally, like, it wasn't my fault that I was late. Like, Like, I was like, girl, oh, my gosh. Like. Like, at least an apology.
- [55:43]
Alan Ice
Have you gotten over it? Like, does it still hurt?
- [55:46]
Crystal
Like, if I think too hard, it does hurt. Because, like, when I was sitting there, like, I was like. Like, I have nephews. Like, I'm gonna be the. Like, when I see them graduate, I'm gonna be so bitter. Nobody watched me graduate. And then, like, when I was crying on the hammock, my brother came out, and he was like, why are you crying? Like, he started crying, too. He was like, like, I feel so bad for you. Because none of my siblings graduated. My parents didn't graduate, so I was the first one family. So it really, like that honestly, really did hurt. For real. And then he started crying with me, and he hugged me. He was like, don't feel like, because they weren't there for you. Like, you did it for no reason. Because, you know, that's just how they are. Like, that's just how our parents are. Like, they're always going to be like that. And it sucks. It sucks, but it does. It doesn't define who you are. It doesn't define anything. Like, I'm so proud of you. Like, he told me, like, I'm literally so proud of you that you graduated. And I was like, oh, my God. Gosh.
- [56:36]
Commercial Voice
Like.
- [56:36]
Crystal
Like. Like, somebody sees me. Somebody sees, like, how I feel. Like, because my parents, like, you know, my dad, he doesn't really show any emotion at all. And then, I don't know. I don't really. Don't know, like, why my mom was like, that. That day. Like, she was really unapologetic about it.
- [56:53]
Alan Ice
I'm glad that your brother at least was able to tell you. Like, hey, you know what? Like, don't feel like you didn't do it for nothing, because at the end of the day, you have your diploma. Like, at the end of the day, this is only going to benefit. Benefit you, your future. Did you end up going to college after that, or was that something like, you know, what. If they're not gonna go to that one either?
- [57:16]
Crystal
So basically, I didn't end up going to college. I did apply for college. I was gonna become an esthetician, but I was doing really Good on YouTube when I graduated high school. When I filmed that video of me graduating high school, I had 50,000. And, like, it's not a lot, but I honestly really, really believed in myself. Like, I was like, wait, like, I'm really good at this. Like, Like, I really felt like I have a passion for this. Like, I Can keep going with this. So I took a gap year and I worked at the. At my job. Like, I took gap year to work at a restaurant. And then the rest is history.
- [57:54]
Alan Ice
Yeah, literally now she's here. I want to talk more about, you know, you on social media. Paracasi terminal. I want to know what got you into doing social media. What made you think, like, you know what, Let me grab my phone, my camera, let me start recording myself. Do you remember your first viral moment? Yorita ques all over TikTok. What has the feeling been for you? Like, oh my God, like, my dreams are actually fucking coming true. Like, what has this journey been like for you?
- [58:23]
Crystal
I started social media media, like when I was really a little girl. Like, like, really, really little girl. I made a YouTube channel when I was a, like Chamaquita, like 7 years old. And then that's when I first did it. But then in middle school, when I would make those videos, when everyone would make YouTube videos, like two. Like, after I made a YouTube channel, everyone in my middle school started making a YouTube channel. I restarted my junior year of high school. Like, I was like, I forgot about YouTube. I forgot that I wanted to be a YouTuber. YouTuber. And the reason I could never do it was because I had no storage on my phone. Like, to be real, I had no storage to ever make YouTube videos. But I had got a new phone. I was like, like, I have so much storage. Like, damn. And I've always wanted to do YouTube. So I started again. The first time I was like, like, it has views a little bit. It was. I did mi primera peda with my friends at my friend's house. It was my friend's birthday. It only had like 17, 000 views. But it had some comments. Like, people were really commenting, like, like, oh my gosh. Like, you're funny.
- [59:25]
Alan Ice
I love this content. Yeah.
- [59:27]
Crystal
Yeah. Like, I was like, oh, like random people are commenting. So I kept going. Like, I kept on with my YouTube channel. And then I did start on tik tok after recently.
- [59:35]
Alan Ice
Because I feel like that's where you started blowing up even more. Because especially the. The working videos. Like when you were get as receptionist, like the receptionist up in the front. Is that what that's called? The host? The host. I feel like that's from a lot of people started seeing you on there for you page because you were so funny. I remember seeing like the first videos and be like, is this a skit? Like, she's for you for your working. And like, she's Live streaming her. You know what I thought at first, not gonna lie, I was like, she's probably like the daughter of the owners. Yeah. Her family probably owns the restaurant because, like, why did she live all day long? I just thought it was so fucking funny. Tell us a little bit more about that. Like, how did that happen? What made you be like, let me fucking go live during my job? Did your co workers ever talk shit on you because you were live streaming, like, the whole shift? Did HR get involved? And how did you ultimately get fired?
- [60:28]
Crystal
I would get a lot of views on live when I would get ready for work, and then they would ask me, take us to work with you. So I would go live at my job. I would be at the host stand. And literally exactly how I act off camera. Like, I would act on camera. Like, I would be like. Like, hey, y', all, welcome to the party. Like, I would joke around with the customers because if not, it would be so boring. Being at work is so boring unless you make it fun. Like, so I would talk to them and, like, I would literally troll them. Like, I would ask them questions like, oh, where's that from? Like, where are we going after this? Like, just like. Like, around with them. Then I would go live and then people would, like, comment like, oh, my gosh, she's so funny. I would keep going because continuously, like, going live at work. This video of me went viral where I was like, no tea some shade. Yeah. I said that to a customer. I was like, bye. No tea some shade. That's when more people were watching me globally. So I'm like, the whole world.
- [61:22]
Alan Ice
Like, everyone's watching right now, literally.
- [61:24]
Crystal
So my no tea some shade video started going viral. I. I landed on somebody in the corporates for you page. So they didn't let me know. Like, nobody came out to me at my job. Like, not my. I don't even think my man manager knew because, you know, corporate hires the managers. Nobody let me know that, you know, the higher, the higher up at my job. Like, found out about it. My friend, because she be at the meetings. Like, she's been working there for, like, four years. So she texted me. She was like, hey, Crystal. Like, I was at a meeting with corporate and they watch your lives now. Like, they literally watch your lives at work. So please be careful, girl. But after that, like, I would go live less at work, but, like, I would try to sneak it in. I would try to sneak my phone, still go live. I was so over my. My job at that point.
- [62:07]
Alan Ice
Like, if I get fired I get fired. Yeah, this is fun, because I even saw, like, a manager, like, get off live or no phones, right? Yes.
- [62:16]
Crystal
Yes. Like, they did slide me a little note that said, get off your. Get off your phone. And I was like, flipped it over. Still on live. Just kidding. But I was so over my job that I had put my two weeks in because I had a. I had a feeling that it was over. Like, I have a feel, like. Like, I know they're gonna fire me for being on my phone. So let me just put my two weeks in. Let me stay two weeks a little longer. And I did, because just in case if they fire me, like, I can. Like, if I put my two weeks in, I can come back. As I put my two weeks in. I was at work one day, I go on live, and my manager's next to me, and the phone rings, and he answers the phone, and this lady calls. She says, crystal is on live right now recording the customer. She's saying how she wants to be a stripper, and. And she's recording the people walking in and out. She's not a good candidate to be working there. Like, y' all need to fire her immediately. And literally, like. Like, I was kind of. I was embarrassed, but I wasn't completely hot. Like, anxiety attack. Like, no. Like, I was like, okay. Like, I'm embarrassed, but whatever. I already put my two weeks in. He was like, okay, ma'. Am. Like, I understand. And then he looked at me. He was like, so what are we going to do? What are we going to do about this? Because he. He really didn't want to fire me. He was a good manager. Like, I took advantage because. Because I would eat at the front. Like, I would. Like, would be on my phone. Like, I did take advantage because I had so much privilege at that job. I had friends there. Like, jobs aren't supposed to be fun, but it was fun for me. Like, it was such a good job. But I only put my two weeks in because they paid me $10 an hour, so I know it wasn't enough. Yeah. He says, me, what are we gonna do about this? Oh, I said, like, if you want to let me go, then you can let me go. Like, it's okay. Like, I already put my two weeks in. He was like. I was like, I don't want to feel fire you. Like, I just want to know, like, what's going on. Like. Like, I don't want to fire you, but I'm just gonna give you a warning. So he had me sign the warning a little bit after that, people kept spamming the phone because I was still on live, but my phone was turned around. People started spam calling the job, trolling, asking about me. People were spam calling my job. It got so bad to the point that, like, we couldn't even use the phone anymore. My manager was like, okay, I'm gonna just send you home for today for your safety. Safety. Like, I'm not firing you. Like, you can come back whenever you want, but I just want to do this. Like, I just want to let you go home today for your safety. And I was like, okay, that's fine. And then I lowkey. Like, I. Like, I. Like, I don't know. I kind of had an epiphany. I was like, oh, like. Like I don't have a job anymore. And I was working there for, like, eight months, so. And it was my first ever real job. Like, I was so, like, yeah, like. Like I had made history with that job. Like, I don't know. I had friends there. I knew that my routine. I had a routine, like, every day, a schedule to attend to. So it was just so crazy to lose my job.
- [64:57]
Alan Ice
It also came at the right time, like, when you got fired because it was also when you were blowing up. How has that been? You know, the. Seeing the numbers grow so rapidly, do you feel like you've gotten overwhelmed or you're like, oh, my God, like, I don't know what the fuck to do? There's so much pressure. Have you felt that yet?
- [65:14]
Crystal
Yeah, I do feel pressure now. Like. Like, since the views went up. Yeah, I feel like people always twist my words. Like, now, since there's so much love, there's also much more hate. So, like. Like, haters watch me and they, like, yeah, like, even in my own lives, like, I get so much hate comments right now, but I think it's because I'm kind of new. So, like, obviously there's. There's going to be hate. They're like, oh, my gosh, why is she even famous? Oh, my gosh. Like, but then people be like, I look like Adriana Lima. I like Ariana. And I'm like, wait, psych.
- [65:48]
Alan Ice
They've never said that.
- [65:50]
Crystal
But I don't really care about the hate because I love that people are talking about me. Like, it's still so crazy. Like, sometimes I even like the hate comments. Like, I always tell, like, my mods in my lives, like, leave the haters. Like, and haters, please follow me. Like, I love people hating on me because it's like, people are Thinking about me now.
- [66:08]
Alan Ice
And it also gives you content because it's like, bitch, if you're going to talk shit about me, my comments, I'm going to fudgeing talk shit about you all my life.
- [66:14]
Crystal
Yeah, Literally. Literally. Like, I love, like getting hated on. I love it anytime people, like, try to cancel me, it feels like fudge. Like, like everything I do matters. Like, it all matters now and it never mattered before. Like, yeah, yeah. It's so amazing.
- [66:29]
Alan Ice
I feel like you're in a point too. Like you said, you're so early on, where a lot of your OG comadres, they're like, oh, that's how she is, is that's her personality. Like, she's joking around. But you're getting a lot of new traction where people are like, why is she being mean? Or why is she doing this? And it's like, that's been me this whole time. Joining right now, you obviously mentioned that the hate comments don't get to you, but you feel like there's certain things that maybe they have said to you that you're like, you know what? Like that kind of hurts a little bit. Like, if so, how do you deal when the comments do get to you?
- [66:58]
Crystal
Honestly, right now, the only thing that gets to me, yeah, like the, the. The I support Donald Trump accusations that genuine got to me because like, obviously, like fog. It just sucks like seeing people say things that they don't know. But like when they talk about my looks and stuff, I don't care. Like, I don't care about my look.
- [67:16]
Alan Ice
Was that scary for the people that don't have any context about the Donald Trump situation? You know, you did open up about it on your social medias that it was a skit. It wasn't really you supporting Donald Trump. It was like you making fun of like a Karen.
- [67:30]
Crystal
Hey, comadres, I'm going to talk about the allegations that are going around round about me that I'm a Trump supporter. This was me in high school. I look like whenever the whole election was happening or whatever, like, I had unfollowed this girl that I go to school with because she was like Trump supporter. So I like unfollowed all the Trump supporters. But then I didn't realize, like, I was gonna have to see her at school. My people, bro, y' all ice. Cuz they keep on trying to take my. My people. When I was in high school, I used to do skits. I used to do like fake fighting videos and. And I had D1 with my friends and I was A Karen and I have put on the Trump hat. Me and my friend had a post for the picture, and, yeah, it looks hella bad, but I've never been a dumb ass. People are saying that I'm the one who bought the hat. I did not buy that. People are saying that I support Trump, but I'm just hiding it so I don't get canceled. No. Like, I literally live among immigrants. I would never do no stupid like that. But since you guys are already here watching this apology, go protest if you can. People in my race are getting killed every single day because of the way we sound, because of the way we look. Go protest, comadres, if you can. If you have a platform and you're watching me, post it on your story. Post it anywhere. Repost it. Fuck Trump. Fuck Ice. Fuck Nicki Minaj. Donald Trump is a racist and he's a pedophile. So it hurts me that y' all would even fucking assume that I would support that shit, but nobody is an immigrant on stolen land.
- [69:09]
Alan Ice
Was that scary when that resurfaced and you're like, oh, my God, people are twisting it. People are not gonna believe you. Was it. Was it scary making that video of clearing things up?
- [69:18]
Crystal
Yes, because I didn't think I would have so much support. Like. Like, people really support me. And, like, they're like, we know who you are. Like, it's okay. Coma. And then, yeah, like, but, you know, the haters do come, and then they comment like, oh, she's been the Trump supporter this whole time, but now she's switching up because she's more popular. But no, like, I. Like, I would never.
- [69:40]
Alan Ice
I love that. And I know, you know, as you keep, you know, growing, there's always going to be those haters that, you know, want to bring you down or don't want to see you succeed. You keep going, because that's what's going to make them even more mad. Seeing you, like, thriving, seeing you continuing going.
- [70:04]
Crystal
Cinco Diaz anos. I mean, hopefully in five to 10 years. I have five to 10 years. How old am I going to be? Oh, if I'm going to be 24 to 20. 24 to 29. I do want to have a. Like, a family already, and I just want to be really successful. And, yeah, I want to live alone. I want to get my mom, like, out of her situation. I do. Like, I want to be able to, like, provide for my mom. And, yeah, like, those are my goals, I think. Like, yeah.
- [70:42]
Alan Ice
And if you can continue doing everything you're doing, right now, you're gonna accomplish all those goals. Thank you so much for. Make sure you guys go ahead and follow her. I'll leave her links down below as well as on the screen so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much for being here.
- [71:07]
Crystal
Thank you so much for watching Com Madres. Thank you so much, Alan Ice, for having me today.
- [71:12]
Alan Ice
Thank you so much for being here and thank you guys so much for watching. And we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye guys.
- [71:18]
Crystal
Yes, bye.
- [71:19]
Alan Ice
So good.
- [71:21]
Crystal
Period.
- [71:32]
Commercial Voice
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