Flavia Cucalon Talks All: Peruvian in the US, Anxiety, Therapy, Cheating, Healing, CHISME & MORE!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized – Episode featuring Flavia Cucalon

Introduction In this engaging episode of Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized, host Alannized welcomes Flavia Cucalon, a vibrant 20-year-old content creator from the Bay Area. The episode delves deep into Flavia's journey as a Peruvian immigrant in the United States, exploring her experiences with anxiety, therapy, relationships, and cultural representation. Throughout the conversation, Flavia shares heartfelt insights and personal anecdotes, offering listeners an authentic glimpse into her life.

Early Life and Immigration Flavia begins by recounting her early childhood, moving to the United States from Peru at the age of two. She vividly describes her initial struggles with language barriers and cultural adjustment.

"I was literally latched onto her thigh. I would not let go. I was like, something about this just, just doesn't feel right." [02:19]

Flavia speaks about her first day in preschool, feeling terrified and isolated due to not knowing English. Her mother's unwavering support is highlighted as a pivotal moment in her adjustment.

Finding a Support System Flavia shares a transformative experience when her mother secured her a spot in a prestigious preschool, thanks to a scholarship opportunity. This change significantly improved her educational experience and social interactions.

"Miss Priscilla was literally a guardian angel. Like, she was awesome. She was incredible." [11:53]

She fondly remembers Miss Priscilla, her bilingual teacher, who played a crucial role in helping her learn English and feel included.

Cultural Identity and Representation A significant portion of the conversation centers on Flavia's cultural identity as a Peruvian in a predominantly white area. She discusses the challenges of maintaining her cultural heritage while adapting to American society.

"I have to make myself look as if I didn't… kind of just blend it all." [14:25]

Flavia emphasizes the importance of representation, particularly for Peruvian and Latino communities, stating:

"Representation matters. I just want to make sure that I… be whoever the hell I want to be because that's who I am." [21:03]

Family Influence and Sacrifices Flavia expresses deep gratitude towards her parents, who immigrated to the U.S. sacrificing their careers to provide opportunities for their children. She reflects on their hard work and how it inspired her own ambitions.

"My parents were like, oh, my gosh, this is such a relief... my parents are older than me, so my mom had me at 40." [28:13]

Her relationship with her parents, especially her father, is portrayed as loving and supportive, with her father being her "superhero."

Mental Health Journey Flavia opens up about her struggles with anxiety, particularly stemming from fears about mortality and her family's well-being. She describes a pivotal moment when she realized the depth of her anxiety and the importance of seeking help.

"I was in middle school, and I was in eighth grade, just realizing… 'What am I gonna do when my parents aren't here one day?'" [21:03]

Encouraged by her mother, Flavia began therapy, which she credits with significantly improving her mental health.

"Therapy's covered. We on it, right? So she was like, therapy's covered. You go into it." [50:35]

She shares valuable strategies learned in therapy, such as tracking her good days to combat panic attacks.

"I want you to write how your day went, and I want you to keep track... it's being able to visually see that I'm having more good days than bad days." [52:23]

Social Media and Community Building Flavia discusses how she started her social media journey as a way to cope with loneliness and betrayal from friends. Initially posting casually, her authenticity resonated with others, leading to a growing online community.

"Even though I don't have hella friends at school, I got hella friends online." [60:20]

Her viral moments, particularly her "Get Ready with Me for a Two Man" video, are highlighted as turning points that solidified her presence as a content creator.

"The next day, I come back and it's like at 1.2 minutes million. And I'm like, holy. I'm at like 5, 000 followers." [62:00]

Healing from Betrayal and Embracing Self-Love A significant part of the episode focuses on Flavia's healing process after a painful breakup and betrayal by her ex-boyfriend and friends. She emphasizes the importance of self-love and personal growth during such tough times.

"I'm the own love of your life. You can find your partner, you can find your soulmate... but you are always gonna be the love of your life." [78:06]

Flavia encourages listeners to prioritize their mental health and embrace their emotions rather than masking them.

"It's super important to give yourself time to heal and not just jump into, like, having fun." [69:17]

Relationships and Personal Growth Flavia shares the story of meeting her current boyfriend, Dylan, highlighting their strong bond and mutual support. Their relationship is portrayed as a partnership where both grow and support each other through life's challenges.

"We are growing up together. We are becoming adults together. We are experiencing a lot of things together for the first time." [77:11]

Advice for Listeners Throughout the episode, Flavia offers heartfelt advice for those struggling with similar issues. She advocates for seeking therapy, embracing self-love, and maintaining cultural pride.

"If you're out here considering therapy, girl, do it. If your insurance covers it, girl, go get it." [55:02]

She emphasizes that mental health is just as crucial as physical health and dispels the stigma surrounding therapy, especially within the Latino community.

"It's important, and there's so many people that don't have super good support systems. You can still get it, you know, you can still go and get a therapist and get that support you need." [55:02]

Conclusion In this episode of Noche de Pendejadas, Flavia Cucalon provides an inspiring narrative of resilience, cultural pride, and personal growth. Her candid discussions about mental health, family sacrifices, and the importance of self-love offer valuable insights to listeners navigating similar paths. Alannized ensures the conversation remains authentic and relatable, making this episode a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersection of culture, mental health, and personal development.

Notable Quotes:

• "Therapy is not only teaches you so much about yourself, but it also teaches you about others and how to handle your own emotions." [52:06]
• "I love yourself more. Like when we ended that one day, I was like, you know what, we'll end whatever. But like I still have myself." [66:38]
• "You can't expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself." [78:06]

Timestamp Highlights:

• 02:19 – Flavia's anxiety on her first day of preschool.
• 11:53 – Tribute to Miss Priscilla, her supportive teacher.
• 21:03 – Flavia discusses her dual cultural identity and early anxiety.
• 50:35 – Introduction to therapy and its impact.
• 60:20 – Flavia's realization of finding a supportive online community.
• 78:06 – Emphasis on self-love post-breakup.

Final Thoughts Flavia Cucalon's story is a testament to the power of resilience and the importance of embracing one's roots and mental health. Her journey from a scared immigrant child to a confident young woman inspiring others online underscores the essence of Noche de Pendejadas: authentic conversations filled with drama, chisme, and genuine human experiences.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

My ex boyfriend, he started messing around with my ex best friend behind my back and yeah.

[B]

What is up everyone? I'm your host Alanized and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turned talk show and on the Yo Trigo atus Influencers Guard. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight.

[A]

Flavia. Hello, how are you?

[B]

I am so excited to finally be making this happen. I feel like this has been in talks in works for a while now.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I feel like who has it been? Maybe like over a month.

[A]

No more. Yeah, more. I feel like from what When I like found out about you, it was in your comment section and I was getting like maybe 670 tags being like flavia, like Flavia. And I was like what is going on? And then I was like, oh no.

[B]

I'm like, okay, no you guys, this has been a while in the making and I'm so excited to finally make it happen because we went over a lot of things yesterday. What have you been up to? I know you've been traveling a lot.

[A]

Yes, I have.

[B]

Your day today look like tell us.

[A]

A little bit more about that man. Okay, so we woke up bright and early and we went to the airport because our flight was at 11, right? So we get to the airport, we get there at like 9:30, go through TSA, everything's perfect. Everything's fine. Tell me why we got on this plane. Right? We got on this plane at 11. We're on the plane for an hour waiting for our pilot because he's still in the air. We didn't take off until, I want to say, maybe 12, 25, 12, 1230. So we got here at like, 2pm we got here, like, an hour and a half. Yeah. When we were supposed to be here at 12.

[B]

Yeah, I know. He was still flying.

[A]

Yeah, he was still flying. He was still fine. So, I mean, I guess air traffic, I don't really know how it goes, but ride went smooth. He was awesome. Takeoff, landing, it was perfect. I got here.

[B]

If I would have woken up to a message of you saying, like, hey, our flight got canceled. It could have been a cancel.

[A]

It could have.

[B]

But it didn't.

[A]

But it wasn't.

[B]

It was like you getting ready. Like, obviously, you had to drive to your hotel.

[A]

You had to get ready. We got a rental car, and because, you know, we're here until tomorrow, we cut. We fly back a little bit later in the day. So we were like, you know what? Might as well make the most of it. Make the most out of our day. Got a rental car that was. We waited a little bit to get. It was my first time actually renting a car. I didn't know that they charge you a fee if you're under 25. And I'm like, damn, we a liability. Okay, we got the rental, drove to the hotel. Beautiful, by the way. Thank you so much. Oh, my gosh. We actually ran into a supporter of mine in the hotel. Yes. Pretty sure she was wearing it. Oh, my gosh. I love that. She was awesome. She was so sweet. Hotel was beautiful. We went, okay, so this was. This was when I. Y', all, I fucked up. I'm not gonna lie. I had no idea what to wear. I was like, I cannot be on much of us looking. Oh, you know what I mean? So I was tripping. And I was like, okay, I hate every single shirt I brought. I also forgot to tan. So I was like, you know what? I'm not used to being this pale. And I was like, ugh, I don't know what to do. We drove to Target. We were about to go to Tilly's. I literally bought shoes, a whole bunch of shirts just to end up wearing what I had already brought. So I don't know.

[B]

You look amazing, though.

[A]

The first thing, I feel amazing in.

[B]

My head, you guys, when she walked in, I'm like, oh, my God. She's so beautiful. I feel like she matches how she looks like online. And I'm so excited to have you here today. We have a lot to talk about. I know you've had a long day and it's about to be longer.

[A]

For.

[B]

Those at home that might not know who you are.

[A]

Yes. Hi, guys. I'm flavia cucalone. I'm 20 years old, so I put one Americana and I'm from the Bay area. I'm on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube. I do a little bit of it all. I'm also a college student, so a lot of my content is based on, like, my life and just vlogging, my day to day activities. Yeah, that's what I do.

[B]

We're gonna get into it a little bit because I feel like it's very important. How was Flavia growing up? What were the hobbies you like to do? What was it like growing up in the Bay?

[A]

Well, first off, I just want to say thank you so much. Thank you to every single freaking person that would go in his comment section and tag me like crazy. I'm literally here just because of you and you. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. B. Flavia, I mean, she was a whole lot like how I am now. I feel like I had such a beautiful childhood. The good parts, the ugly, everything about it. I mean, it shaped me and it made me who I am now. When I was younger, I was always like a super big family girl. Like, my parents were my best friends. I'm the youngest of three, so I'm the youngest sibling. My sister is 10 years older than me, and my brother is 16 years older than me. So growing up, I was just kind of like my own best friend, you know what I mean? And I hung out a lot with my parents. They were like, they were my best friends as well. We were the trio. We would do everything together. I would go on bike rides with my dad. I would always play with my mom's makeup and my sister's side of the room because we used to share a room. It was just like my playground. I was always in her makeup and her clothes and her hair stuff. And I mean, look at me now, right?

[B]

Super girly, super bubbly.

[A]

Super girly. Exactly. Stink.

[B]

I love it. What was it like growing up in the Bay Area? You grew up where? Like in San Francisco that your parents migrated from Peru when you were only two years old growing up, why they decided to come to the States? And what was it like for you and your family adapting in A whole new country.

[A]

My family and I moved here when I was only two years old. So for me, I kind of just grew up with the Bay Area just being my normal. As for my parents, they told me that, you know, my dad, he was a really well respected police officer for 25 years. But obviously the job comes with its risks. So my family just thought it would be best if we moved to America. And for my parents, their American dream has always been being able to give us the opportunities that they didn't have. The one thing I do remember about my first day in preschool. Man, this is a horror story. Keep in mind, my first language is Spanish, right? So I didn't know a single freaking speck of English when we got here. All I remember of this day was my mom walked me into preschool and I was like literally latched onto her thigh. Like I would not let go. I was like, something about this just, just doesn't feel right. And I still like, physically literally remember like the mental state I was in. I was terrified. I was petrified. I was so freaking scared. And she's like, flavia, like, you're fine. I go in and all I remember was literally hearing a whole bunch of nothing. I was like, what is everyone saying? Like, I literally had no idea how to communicate. I had no idea how to talk to like these people around me. I was 5 or how old was I? I think I was like 4 years old at the time. I don't even really know how old you are when you start preschool, but I was really young, you know, and obviously in my house we only speak Spanish. My parents only really know Spanish, so I had literally no idea what English was. And I remember walking into the room, like the playground play area, and for some reason it had like a bunk bed in it and it had like a whole bunch of like, just like a chest of toys where you could like, you know, play with stuff. And I literally picked up this like Barbie doll, like American Barbie doll type of thing. I pick it up, I climb up to the frickin bunk and I'm on like the top bunk and I'm just staring at every single kid running around in this freaking room. And I'm like, oh my God, I do not want to be here. I'm traumatized. I hated it. I hated that school. That was my first and only day there. I was crying to my mom about it and then she was like, okay, you know what, let me try and figure something else out for you. And obviously at the time, like we had literally no Resources. My parents didn't really have a steady job yet. They were just trying to figure it out. My mom always tells me this story. So apparently she had, like this co worker, and I think the co worker also had a friend or something. I'm not really too sure. But she was telling my mom, like, oh, you should sign her up for this, like, scholarship type of thing. And my mom's like, oh, okay. And she was like, I mean, it's pretty low odds, but, like, you can always sign up and, like, see, like, if, you know, you get chosen, like, whatever, right? I remember I actually went with my mom to, like, this building. It was like a super pretty building. And we go in and I have no idea what's going on, but she's like, signing me up for all this stuff. I guess. Like, the lady working the front desk was like, okay, like, It's. It's a one out of 4,000. Like, just so you know, if she gets chosen, we'll pay for her preschool and we'll also pay for her private school. Like, after preschool, you could just send me straight to, like, a private K through 5 or something. And so my mom was like, okay, like, let's do it. Let's do it. Like, let's freaking do it. Let's see how lucky you are, right? And you know me. You know me, and I don't. I got chosen and my mom was literally over the moon. My parents were like, oh, my gosh, this is such a relief. Like, it was such a weight off of their shoulder because obviously, like, I was crying. I hated preschool. And, like, as a parent, you don't want to see your kid be like that.

[B]

Did you like your new school? The one that you loved?

[A]

Oh, my gosh, I loved my new school. School, it was. It was called Stepping Stones. Literally the best preschool I actually could have ever went to. I remember I had this, like, Puerto Rican teacher, and her name was Miss Priscilla, and she was the only teacher that spoke Spanish. And she's actually literally the sole person who taught me how to speak English. And I would just remember she would, like, pick out books and she'd read with me and translate every word and, like, explain things to me. And I. I literally didn't really know people and, like, I wasn't able to interact properly, so she would play with me during freaking recess. She was just like, literally a guardian angel. Like, she was awesome. She was incredible. And now I'm here.

[B]

Miss Priscilla.

[A]

Miss Priscilla.

[B]

Girl, I love you.

[A]

No, I actually, I went back when I was. When I Was in eighth grade, I went back and I read books for the little kids at Stepping Stones and she was there and I was like, it was awesome meeting her. It was, it was awesome seeing her again and being like, wow, look at me now.

[B]

You know, it is crazy how teachers can really make an impact, right? Yo tambienos binyomos de Mexico. Yo conotenia. I think I was like in kinder and I started school, I think first grade. Ms. Taurus. I used to be obsessed with her ingles. I was literally after school during the summer, I would go and help her a lot. And I think it had. It's been like over maybe 10 years. But I think when I was in high school I went back to visit her and it really was crazy to be like, damn, it's crazy because two significances that when you came over here and when you started school, you didn't really know English, that you went to like an all white school and you there was like, I think a lot of the community that you were around were a lot of white people. What was that like growing up, you know, being a Latina in a white predominant area? What was it like for you? Did you ever feel like out of place? Was it hard for you to like fit in because, you know, so what was it like for you fitting in?

[A]

I feel like I never really cared too much. I was always like, you know what I did. I obviously like, like any other person I would notice when I wasn't really like too understood. I feel like sometimes, for example, the main thing was kind of introducing myself and being like, hi, like oh, I'm from Peru. Say Peruana. And they'd be like, what? Or I'd speak, I'd say something in Spanish, right? And they'd be like, oh, wow, like you're Mexican. And I'm like, no, I'm freaking. Like, you know there's other countries in Mexico, right? Like what? So it was a whole lot of like having to educate people in a way and just be like, no, like I'm from Peru, like Lima, Peru. Like this is like, oh, say Peruana. We speak Spanish in Peru. Kind of just introducing my country, which obviously kind of sucked a little bit, but I guess that's how it always really was for me. I do definitely live in like a predominantly wealthier type of area. So I feel like when it was more of like a, you know, growing up middle class, but you didn't really feel middle class when like everyone's like living in a friggin mansion. You know what I Mean, so it was definitely like. Like feeling like, okay, like, I kind of have to make myself look as if I didn't, you know what I mean? And kind of just blend it all.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Literally kind of blending in. Like, and you never really want to stand out too much because then it's like, oh, I don't want to be like, that one.

[B]

And I feel like you already, being Latina, you were already standing out.

[A]

And, like, keep in mind, this was, like, before the lighter hair. Okay? So, like, this is, like, curly black hair. Like, I'm. I'm just obviously very Hispanic looking. Like, I just felt like I always, you know, in. In a room full of, like, super light skin, blue eyes, blonde hair. I was just like, damn. Like, no one really is like me.

[B]

You know, Cultura, you know, Nos cuentas de que tus papacy. Tu migrated from Peru. How much was the Peruvian culture, you know, instilled at home? Like, what were things that you guys would do?

[A]

Honestly, like, everything. Like, so much, you know, my mom super Peruvian. My entire family is super Peruvian. My entire family is super proud to be Peruvian as well. My parents didn't feel like, oh, like, now that we moved to America, like, we're American, you know what I mean? No. Like, it was always like, tor esperuana hablas, for example. Like, this is another thing. Since we moved here when I was really young and I only knew how to speak Spanish, I never really learned how to properly write it. So my parents, they ordered me tenny Peruvians out there. You might know what the book coquito is. It's like a Peruvian dialect, I guess. What's the word? Dialogue.

[B]

Like a dictionary kind of thing?

[A]

Not a dictionary. It's like a.

[B]

Is it kind of giving, like, ingles in barreras type of thing?

[A]

Kind of. It's kind of like a workbook type of thing.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, where you, like, just learn how to write Spanish and how to write stuff and, like, the proper nouns and blah, blah, blah, whatever, proper grammar. And I would just do that during the summer because I wasn't going to summer camps, you know, So I was just, like, in my coquito, writing my stuff. And, like, my parents would just watch Casa Serrado. My mom would always be watching Casa Sorello, and I'd be like, okay. Like, it helped me, like, maintain Spanish and stuff. And as for, like, being Peruvian, I mean, like, I was saying, my family is super Peruvian. From our food to our traditions, to, like, the way we embrace our culture, it's something that we're just super proud of. So I'm super, super, super blessed and lucky to have a mom who's not only just a fantastic cook, but just the best Peruvian cook. On top of building this fake volcano for months, I give my daughter smarty pants vitamins to support her brain health. So her science fair project sounds more like and less like. And while I may say it's not a competition, of course it's a f ing competition. Choose smarty pants vitamins to support your kid's brain health and save the science fair. Shop on Amazon smartypantsvitamins.com or at target today. Are you ready to dairy free your mind this summer? Melt away your dairy free expectations with so delicious dairy free frozen desserts. Enjoy mind blowing flavors like salted caramel cluster chocolate cookies and cream cookie dough and more. For over 35 years, so delicious has been cranking up the flavor with show stopping products that are 100% dairy free, certified vegan by vegan action, and are so unbelievably creamy, your taste buds will do a double take. Dairy free your mind. Visit so delicious dairy free.com out there. I really wish every single one of you guys could try my mom's cooking because she is seriously the best. She makes the best Lomo saltado. The best ceviche, the best Taji de Gallina.

[B]

I'm like, I'm gonna need to go prove that.

[A]

I'm like, I really should have brought you.

[B]

What's the thing that you like, loved growing up to eat? Like, what was your mom's favorite meal?

[A]

Well, one thing. So I guess it's kind of like our tradition. Every single Monday, my mom makes lentejas and it's supposed to be like for good fortune and good luck. That was my favorite growing up. She makes it with like a celery like salad type of thing. So freaking good. And another thing my mom does is like every single birthday, instead of going out to a restaurant, you get to pick a plate that she makes because that's how good her cooking is. Like, I'm not kidding, you guys.

[B]

I'm the restaurant y' all go to.

[A]

Benihana, honey, stay home. Like, my mom's cooking is so good and I would just always be like, oh, ceviche de pollo. Or papa.

[B]

Never had ceviche de pollo.

[A]

Yes. Okay. I don't know if it's an actually like a Peruvian dish or if it's just my mom because my mom's just so funny. My mom's perfect.

[B]

She was all chopping it up in the kitchen we have some leftover chicks.

[A]

Seriously.

[B]

Because.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Those are the best meals though. The ones that we just check what.

[A]

You have in the kitchen. Let's make something. Yes. And it's like, how does she do it? Every single time. It's just freaking amazing. But I'm not like the biggest fish person. I don't really like seafood. I don't with seafood at all actually. Like, ceviche is made from fish. But sometimes, like, I just. It's like a little too fishy for me. Like, I can't eat it, you know, I don't.

[B]

The texture. Texture, right.

[A]

Like, I'm picky and it's like wet. Like, I don't know. So she was like, okay. And I was like, okay. And it's basically just like chicken, but like with like this lemon dressing. I don't even know what it is.

[B]

Is it kind of giving the. Because there's a ceviche de carne molida. Oh, yeah, there is. I don't know what. It has like a specific name, but it's literally a ceviche de carne molid you guys have ever had. It's really good. So I can only imagine.

[A]

I think it's something like cooked and marinated in. Yes. And lemon. And like, that's what gives it like that ceviche type.

[B]

I'm going to try that.

[A]

I'll bring you. I'm like, girl, I will make her keep that word.

[B]

That's crazy. I will need to check that out. What's like one thing in O tradition wise holidays. What's something that you now as an adult, you're like, you know what? I love this part of my cultura. I love this part of my culture. But I really want to make sure that I, you know, bring that with me to my kids, to my future.

[A]

I don't even think I could freaking change anything. I'm like, everything, seriously, like, from birthdays to like freaking Christmas. I just. I love the way my family does it. For example, like for birthdays, every single birthday, we sing Feliz con Blanos. We don't do it just once, we do it twice. And then the second time we sing it, we go all out. My dad is the loudest one in the room. He is. He's just giving you your own concert, basically. And I also, I love that when we celebrate Christmas, it's like La noche buena.

[B]

No.

[A]

So we have dinner around 9pm and then we open gifts at midnight. There is no opening gifts before midnight. There's no Sleeping and waking up and, like, running down, opening your gifts.

[B]

I love the midnight openings, though. Like, girl, I do not want to wait till tomorrow morning knowing I have.

[A]

A gift waiting for me underneath the tray. Hell, no.

[B]

Open it out.

[A]

I'm like, let's get to it.

[B]

Yes. What do you feel has been the hardest thing when it comes to living in between two cultures? I'm sure your life at home was totally different than your life at school, your social life. What do you think was, like, the hardest thing that you had to navigate? Like, growing up.

[A]

The hardest thing was really being able to be both at the same time, obviously. So I. Perona Americana. I'm a citizen in both. And it's like, I don't. I'm. I'm not just American, and I'm not just Peruvian. I'm. I'm both. Like, I was. I feel like it's more of being able to embrace both cultures without, you know, if I'm being too white, then it's like, oh, you're whitewashed. Or if I'm, like, being too Peruvian, then it's like, oh, like, wait, like, you know what I mean? It's really hard to be able to embrace both, but I feel like it definitely is possible. Being Peruvian doesn't look just one way. It's kind of the way you embrace your own culture and, like, the pride you carry. So for me, it was more of just like, you know what? I'm gonna be whoever the hell I want to be because that's who I am and because I want to. You know, it's not like, oh, I'm gonna dye my hair lighter because I want to be a freaking white girl. No, I want to have. I'm like, me. Okay. Like, what's wrong with it? You know what I mean?

[B]

Have you been back to Peru?

[A]

Yes. The first time. It was kind of like my first time visiting Peru, if I'm being honest. Like, I really don't remember anything from when I was two years old. Right. But my first time going to Peru was when I was in sixth grade. And I don't know why. My mom was like, you know what? We're going for two and a half months. We stayed literally my entire summer. Yeah. So it was. I mean, with the flight itself, I was like, we're on the stand plane for 12 hours. That was my first time on a plane. So I was like, this is horrible. It's. It's a crazy long flight. When we got there, it's a whole lot of. Obviously, it's. It's not as advanced as, like, America is. And were you shocked, like, the culture shock? Yeah, I feel like I was more shocked about, like, how my boyfriend can vouch for this. I'm not that aware of my surroundings all the time. Like, sometimes I'm just, like, in my own little world, you know? And it was definitely, like, okay, like, Flavia, like, you gotta realize, like, we're not in America anymore. Like, we're in Peru. Like, take your jewelry off. Like, if anyone tries to, like, walk to, like, don't leave my side. You know what I mean? And especially because it was my first time. Yeah. And. And so, like, when I went, my mom was like, okay, like, let me talk. Like, when we. Yeah, for the freaking taxi. She's like, okay, okay. Like, let me talk.

[B]

And I'm like, they do say that in other countries, they treat you even though they know you're a foreigner.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah. And, like, they just don't want to, you know? Like, they're not as chill as, like, they would be to, like, a person that lives in Peru. Right. But I loved it. I. Even though it was, like, my first time being back, I don't know why. We passed. We drove by this park, and I was like, why does this feel so familiar? Like, it literally, like, it was just something. I was like, dude, I feel like I've been here before. Like, what? And she was like, that's crazy, because this is the park that my theaterito would. She would always take me to this park from my grandma's house, and we would feed the pigeons together. I mean, it's not like America, right? Like, they let you feed the pigeons over there. So we would go with, like, our breadcrumbs, and we'd always feed the pigeons. And she was like, this is where you would hang out all the time.

[B]

And I'm, like, remembered.

[A]

I was like, are you. That was my soul telling me. I was like, what the hell? Cuz? I had no idea. And I was like, that's freaking crazy. Like, I was like, damn.

[B]

Okay, how was the food in Peru? Is it different than the food here?

[A]

I mean, I'm not gonna lie. My mom's cooking is spot on. I'm really gassing her up, I swear. I'm not lying.

[B]

I'm like, damn.

[A]

I'm like, we're getting there. Trust me. We're gonna get there, y'. All.

[B]

We're gonna get there, which is good.

[A]

She deserves it, though. She deserves it. It. But no. Oh, man. The food there is freaking incredible. May abuelita lives in Jesus Maria. So it's kind of like. I don't know how to even explain it. Think of, like, a downtown area. You know how when you go downtown, sometimes there will be, like, apartments there? Like, you know, like, there's, like, a second floor. Like, it'll be, like a shop, but then, like, the second floor, like, you can tell it's like a hotel or, like, a house or something like that. My abuelita, she used to live, like, on the second floor. And so she lived right above a little mercado. And I just remember when we went, we obviously stayed at my house, and we would go down every single day. We'd go and get picarones aros. Why am I forgetting the name? Oh, we'd always get masamora and arroz con leche. And it was freaking incredible. Oh, my God.

[B]

How do you guys make it? Do you guys make it dry or watery?

[A]

Well, it's a little watery. My. My. The. She's the one that makes all of, like, the postres, and she's incredible at it. She makes the best arroz con leche. The best masamora. But obviously, like, when you go to Peru, you're really getting that raw Peruvian ingredient types. It's just. It's incredible.

[B]

If anyone's, like, looking to try out any, like, Peruvian dish, what would be, like, the first thing you recommend? Like, if you. If I tell you today, you know what? Yo kerose.

[A]

I mean, if I really want to stunt, I'm gonna say lomo saltado, because that's just. That's incredible.

[B]

Is that a carne conchita type of thing?

[A]

Yeah, it's carne and, like, it's like steak and potatoes and rice, but it's seasoned incredible. It's just Peruvians are so good at their season. It's just, like, they always get it right, and it's so good. Definitely. Recommend. I would also recommend. Let me think. Aji de gallina. An acquired texture. I feel like not a lot of people will like it because it's, like shredded chicken, but it's so good. And ceviche for sure, because every culture makes their own type of ceviche. But I love Peruvian ceviche. It's so good. And our Peruvian tamales. Los tamales. Oh, my God. God. Phenomenal. So good. When I went to Peru, I was actually eating tamales for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Like, you eat that all day.

[B]

I'm like.

[A]

Literally, you're gonna gain a.

[B]

Little, you know, mestavas contanda noche that it's really important for you to like, you know, advocate or really talk about your roots online. How important is representation for you?

[A]

So extremely important people, they're not lying when they say that representation matters. I fully stand with that. I feel like the hardest thing for me growing up was that not there was not like a whole lot of Peruvians or maybe there was, but like shit where they are. I was like, I literally only knew one Peruvian girl and I met her, I think it was like seventh grade middle school. When she transferred from Peru, that was the first Peruvian I literally had met. So I was like, where are my Peruvians at? You know what I mean? Throughout high school, I feel like high school was when I kind of realized like, okay, like, you know what? I'm proud of where I came from, I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud to be Peruvian. I'm gonna freakin talk about it and I'm going to talk about my culture more. And you know what I was like, I remember I added the little Peruvian flag like next to my name on Instagram. I was like, you know what? I was so happy with it. And so when I started doing TikTok, obviously, like I filmed just funny, random videos. Like TikTok is literally my diary. Obviously. Like I'm starting to get a little bit more serious now and like, you know, being brand friendly and whatnot. But for the most part, if anything is going on with Peru, if anything is happening with Peru, you're probably going to hear about it on my channel. Like Julio, yeah. Happy Independence Day. Like we're making a tick tock. Like we're going crazy. I just love being Peruvian and I feel like there's so many Peruvians out there that should know that Peruvians are baddies too. Like Peruvians are out there. Like we're doing it, we're doing it. Seriously.

[B]

I, I really do think representation in general is super important. And you know, like you said, you're very vocal about your roots and I love the fact that maybe other Peruvian women or men can go to your, you know, your page and feel seen because like you said, you, you know a lot of people I think, and I'm glad that you're, you know, embracing your roots. Growing up, you know, you had a great relationship. You know, what was it like with your parents? Do you feel like you were more of like a daddy's girl, a mommy's girl? You know, would they work a lot? Los Mirabas Municipal? What was your relationship with them growing up?

[A]

Okay, definitely. I feel like I'VE always been a daddy's girl. My dad has always been my best friend. I've always just felt so safe with him. And it's like growing up, I remember he, he brought like his uniform from when he was a police officer. And I just remember like I would try it on and I'd wear his hat and I was just, I was always so proud of my dad and I was just like, ugh. My dad was my superhero. He still is. He's my best friend. I love him to death. Both my parents, like seriously, I was just blessed with the most incredible parents I could have ever asked. I hope I have them in every single life. Like one thing about my parents is that they just know how to talk so much life into you. I feel like every single time I'm down or I'm feeling lost or I'm scared or I'm anxious, they just know exactly what to say. I'm like, I'm about to cry.

[B]

I love cry. I'm like, we have tissues on death.

[A]

They'd be like, I will, I will trust. Yes. I love it. It was definitely hard. I feel like my parents, my entire life they've worked, worked pretty difficult hours immigrating here. It's not like they, you know, came with like a frickin career. Like they, I mean they, they kind of had to leave everything back at home. Both my parents also didn't graduate university, so it's not like they had a diploma that they could like bring here and just be like, oh, like this is like, you know. So they definitely worked pretty difficult hours.

[B]

Did that inspire you growing up?

[A]

Oh, 1,000%. I feel like it inspired me so much because even though my parents came with nothing, they somehow were still able to always give me everything. They never failed to provide in every single aspect. So it was definitely like, wow, you know, I feel like for me it was more of just like damn. Like I feel, I don't want to say I feel bad at all because it's like my parents would kill me if I said, oh, I feel bad for them. Like, no, like I'm so thankful for them and I'm thankful for all the sacrifices they made, but obviously like I felt growing up I used to feel like, damn, like my dad went from being like a super well respected police officer and like doing his dream job and like fulfilling, you know, all his goals and like he literally had the career he wanted, the career he fought so hard for and you know, now he has to go and like be a freaking baker and like there's nothing wrong with being a baker, but it's like, I know for my dad that was definitely a shock. And I was like, wow. Like my dad had to give up so much. Same with my mom. They both had to give up so much. They had to give up their comfort, their stability, their family. They had to give up everything just to be able to give us everything. So it was definitely very inspiring. Very. Like, you know what? I owe it all to them. And I feel like that's kind of why I do everything I do. I feel like growing up I always kind of know, knew, like it was always in the back of my head that I'm my parents retirement plan. You know what I mean? Like, my parents, they're not going to be able to just, you know, freaking comosis. Yeah. Retire. Like exactly. Like, yeah, sure, they can retire when they're like 65 or whatever, but like I, in, in my dream world, I wouldn't even want it to get that far. I've always said that my dream is to retire my parents and hopefully one day I can do that. Because if anyone deserves it, it's definitely them.

[B]

I love that. I love. Oh my God, you guys.

[A]

That is on August 8th.

[B]

Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan are.

[A]

Back to switch things up in Disney's Freakier Friday. Oh, yeah. Yes. It's an absolute riot and the only movie that can be described as so much weirder than the last time. What last time?

[B]

It's the Frequel.

[A]

You ready? We've been waiting for that absolutely. Slays. What deeply out of touch old person came up with that? You did. Wow. Don't miss the comedy event of the summer for all ages. Disney's Freakier Friday in theaters August 8th. Get tickets now. Rated PG for rental guidance suggested Abercrombie denim is everything right now. Denim should feel like this. Confident, easy. Like your butt has never looked better. If you didn't know, Abercrombie's curved love denim went viral in 2019 for eliminating waist gap. And it's still a game changer. Between that and their classic fits with a straighter line from waist to hip, the perfect denim does exist. Shop Abercrombie Denim in the app online and in store. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's Nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there.

[B]

So nice. You know, I love the fact that you talk so highly of them. It really shows, you know, the. The life that they gave you and you're so appreciate, you know, you knew growing up that they gave up so much that they did a lot for you growing up. Did that kind of like instill something in you, as in, in the form of like, oh, I can't up. Like, I got to make sure that my parents sacrifices are worth it.

[A]

Yes, 1,000%. Yes. And especially because both of my siblings are so much older than me that it's like, if anyone's fucking up, it's literally just me, you know, so it's like I'm in middle school fucking living life, like, experiencing things for the first time, and it's like my freaking siblings are already like, damn near graduated. Like, they're making my parents proud, they're making money, they're making moves, and I'm still here. Being a little kid, it definitely felt like I can't even afford to like, let them know I fuck up, you know, it's like, I never want to disappoint them. I never want to make a hassle out of anything. So I feel like growing up, a lot of people say that strict parents raise sneaky kids. I feel like it also, it goes both ways. Like, parents that give up a lot and like, you know, like immigrant kids, like, they also kind of raise up with the same type of mindset of, like, you know what, Let me handle this myself before it gets to my parents, because I don't want to worry them, you know, and also because my parents are older than me, so my mom had me at 40. This was actually a really funny story too, and I've talked about it before on my channel. My mom, she. So she went to the doctor and she got told that she was having, like, signs of menopause, that she was going through menopause, and so she wouldn't be able to have kids anymore. And my mom was like, okay, like, I had to, like, I guess it's fine, whatever. She started having her fun, you know what I mean? Like, she started doing her thing, and all of a sudden, like, she just was having horrible stomach cramps and like, was just like going. Feeling weird, you know? And so she goes back to the doctor, and the doctor's like, hey, you're pregnant. I literally have no idea how this happen, but you are pregnant. Like, you will have a baby in Your stomach. And the doctor did tell my mom. She. He was like, actually, I don't even. You know, she was like, because I don't know their gender, but I'm gonna assume it's a girl. The doctor was like, just in case, so, you know, your child might have a disability. And my mom was like, okay, well, you know what? Whatever it has, like, I' ma love it no matter what. And, yeah, so that's how I was conceived. And then, boom, all of a sudden, I'm born and I'm like, yeah, baby, I'm a miracle. That's right. I love it. You're like.

[B]

What was, like, your relationship with them growing up? And how did you feel about the age gap? You know, Because I feel like that's a huge age gap. Did it ever feel like you were growing up, like, as an only child? Did it ever feel lonely? Did you ever feel like your siblings didn't understand you or where you were at in life because they were in different stages?

[A]

You kinda nailed it. Like, it definitely did feel a lot of times like I was the only child and not even in, like, a bad sense. It just sort of felt like. And I've told my sister this so many times, her name's Sandra, by the way. Hi, Sandra. We love you, girl. I would always butt heads with her because I felt like she was more so trying to be like, my second mom and trying to, like, you know, just protect me and, like, guard me a little bit too much and was just always a little bit too strict and too stern. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, here we go. Like, she was just literally my biggest odd growing up. Like, I was like, dude, I got a snitch as an older sister. Like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? I. I was just. I was just always getting annoyed with her. And I was like, bro, like, I literally can't do anything. And for a really long time, I was like, damn. Like, I wish I had an older sister that, like, I could talk to and, like, an older sister that I could confide in and, like, you know, tell her, like, hey, like, this is what's going on. Like, what do I do without telling Exactly. And, like, I've always known that my sister is there for me no matter what. And I. I've never once questioned what her intentions were. It was just more so of. You know, sometimes I felt like I needed a sister more so than I needed another guardian because it's like my parents were doing a shitty job with it. But obviously, then again, I Do totally understand. Like, we did depend a lot on her growing up. Like I said, my parents worked very difficult hours. So for the past 18 years, I think my dad has started work at 3am I remember actually it was in the fifth grade when my dad would work at super early 3am and my mom would start at 4. So she would leave the house at around 3:30. And my sister had just gotten into, I think it was sfsu, driving from my house to the city, especially in the morning, like there's a lot of traffic if you live in the Bay. You know how Bay traffic is, it gets crazy, right? So she would have to leave the house at like around 7am and obviously like I start school at 8:30, right. So I couldn't get dropped off at 7 and so there was no one to drop me off. And my mom would drive me to my Thea Celia's house that lived like super nearby. She would just drive me there, drop me off at 3:30 in the morning. I'd walk up my tia's stairs and then I'd knock on her door. She'd let me in, I'd fall right back asleep. And then I'd wake up at like 7:30, wake up, she'd make me my breakfast and then she'd drive me to school. We relied a lot on my sister and I totally understood that she felt like she had to kind of like fit into like that maternal role. But growing up, it was kind of shitty. I was like, dude, like I literally have three parents. Like, I can do, like, I really can't get away with anything.

[B]

You know where like it finally hit you Because I feel like, you know, I think what happened maybe, you know, as a kid, maybe you were very much like, oh, like my sister's my op, you know, but we were as kids, I feel like we kind of see the negative in like the good intentions of people, you know. Oh my God, you're a party pooper. Like I can't even do this because you're gonna go tell mom or I'm not. I can't even confine in you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did it ever get to a point where you understood where she was coming from?

[A]

I feel like I always knew it. Like I always knew that what she was doing was because she felt like it was her role. Like she was like, you know what? This is my baby sister. My parents aren't super aware of everything that's going on. Obviously she's way more familiar with like our, you know, like American culture. I guess, like that's the word like, you know, with, like, how it is here in the States. And so she was always trying her best, and I always knew that she was trying her best, and I never, like, hated her for it. It was just always like, damn. Like, I wish, like, I was able to talk to her more, and I wish we were able to have that closer sibling bond. But I feel like it was. I think it was like my senior year of high school when I. That really, like, that dynamic really started to shift. And I was like, you know what? This chick hella cool. I was like, dude, I love my sister. And she obviously, we had, like, a talk about it. And this is another thing. We both go to therapy, and she is so good at, like, whatever type of therapist she got, like, is doing incredible. And so she's very emotionally intelligent. And we had a conversation and I was obviously telling her how I felt, and I was like, you know what? Like, I really. I really wish that you were able to fit your role better and, like, to really just be here as my sister instead of being here as, like, my mom's helper, you know, and she definitely 100% understood where I was coming from. And I feel like that was the day that our relationship really began. And now my sister and I are closer than ever. Like, that is literally my best friend. That is my homegirl, that is going to be the godmother of every single kid I have. Like, my maid of honor. We're best friends. I love her. I literally couldn't have asked for a better sister. And she's also, like, the reason of why I am the person I am now, you know, like, she protected me so much. She obviously probably kept me safe in certain situations, situations that could have ended really horribly, you know, So I would alter her.

[B]

I think the biggest up here is really the age.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Because I was telling you yesterday, me, Mikunyado Noah, he is. He's starting. He's a. He's a freshman in high school. He's just starting school. But, you know, obviously me and my boyfriend were 27. My cunyada is turning 25 soon. So obviously the age gap is so different. My swagger. I would always, hey, you guys need to be there for your brother. You guys need to show up. You guys need to do this. But sometimes it gets a little hard because Obente, we're grown adults and we have our life. You know, it's hard to, like, try to be, you know, there all the time, especially because, you know, I feel like sometimes it can get to a Point where, like, you know, maybe you or Myado felt like you're getting left behind, you know, you're seeing your siblings, you know, getting married or having. Going through big milestones, and then you're there at home, you know, doing useless.

[A]

Like, you feel useless.

[B]

Did that ever happen to you where you felt like, oh, my God, like, might as well not have siblings.

[A]

I'm fucking lonely. You know, it was definitely like, you were saying, like, Noah, like, I definitely. I get him. You know, we're in the same boat. I feel like I never really felt forgotten in my family. I feel like it was more of like, I kind of felt like an outlier shout out to my statistics class. That's how I know that word. But I thought you were trying to say outcast. I'm like, oh. I mean, both, actually. But yeah, I always, like, felt like that, like the odd one out. I was like. And not even because I don't fit in with my family or because, like, my family made me feel weird. But it was just because, like, when we would go to family functions and stuff, it's like, my sister's talking to my brother and, like, my brother talking to my cousins, and it's like my. My parents are talking to each other and, like, to my theas. And then it's just like, me. Yeah, literally, get off your tablet. Yeah, yeah, it's like. Or it's me. And then it's like my super younger nephews and nieces and like, I'm like, bro, like, you know, like, I had no one to play with. I was like, I really just had to kind of do it myself. And, like, it obviously, it made me super independent. And I mean, honestly, it kind of made me learn how to, like, be okay with being by myself. And it's like, okay, like, it's chill. But I do definitely, like, I definitely got where you're coming from. As for, like, reaching, like, milestones, I think it's honestly been so awesome being able to, like, see both my siblings accomplish so much and being able to be there for. Being able to watch them graduate high school and college, being able to see them get married, being able to see them both, like, get pregnant and have a kid. And it's like just being able to see all of that. I never really felt like it made me feel like, damn, like, one's it going to be my turn. I mean, sometimes I'd be like, man, like, I hope I'm making my parents as proud too. But I feel like for the most part, it was always like, wow. Everything I'm dreaming of is possible. Like, I feel like, for me, I always took it as reassurance, and I was like, if they're doing it, I can do it too. And just, like, with the way my family is and, like, with the way my siblings are, every single thing they've accomplished, they never once thought of it just being theirs. Like, they've always been. It's ours. Like, this is. Oh, hey, like, we're moving out. This is my new home. But, like, you can come here and stay here whenever. Like, we have a room just for you.

[B]

Hey, like, united.

[A]

It's super united, super close. And so I was always like, okay, you know what? This is a sign that every single thing I'm dreaming of, every single thought I have in my head, every single thing I want to achieve, I'm going to do it. And my siblings are just freaking proof of that.

[B]

I love that they served as great role models.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I love that, you know, get up. Ticaro un poquito mas de Flavia Lascuela. You know, let's talk about how you were in middle school, high school. How would you describe yourself? Do you feel like you were super smart? Eras, un porito burita, eras, pelotonera, eras to yourself? How would you describe, like, those school years?

[A]

Badass. Like, I don't know. I was just always like, that bitch. Like, I feel like. I don't know. The only shitty thing I feel like for me was that I never really had a super solid, like, friend group. Obviously, in high school, I was a cheap cheerleader. A. I was. I was pretty smart. It's not like I was, like, doing horrible in school or anything, but it just never really felt like school was my type of thing. And especially high school. I feel like high school is when I really started to notice that, like, even though I was a cheerleader and even though I had friends, I was always like, do I really, like, fit in with them? And, like, I feel like high school is such a defining moment. And it's like when people really start to come up with their own beliefs and their own values and, like, they really start showing everything. And I feel like. I don't know, I feel like I never really saw things the same way as some of my friends. And so it was kind of hard. I really only had, like, one best friend who really stuck by me throughout all of high school. Shout out, Isabella. I love you, girl. And it was actually my senior year where I made probably the best friend group I ever could have asked for, which is crazy, by the way, because so many people, like, so many young 8th graders think they're going into high school and, like, I'm gonna find all my best friends freshman year, and, like, we're gonna be like this. It's probably not gonna be like that. And if it's not, it's completely okay. Like, it's normally not like that. You know what I mean? They only really show that in, like, Glee and, like, high school movies and, like, whatnot. But for the most part, high school is where you're growing up, and you're not the only one growing up. Everyone else is growing up around you. So I learned that, like, every single person kind of forms and becomes their own person. And if you aren't really getting along, if you're not really fitting in, then it's okay to walk away, and it's okay to wait until you meet the people that are right for you and that you will fit in with. So, yeah, I don't know. I high school, I feel like I met some really awesome people. I tried my best to, like, be as involved as I could. Obviously, when Covid hit, that was. It was pretty hard. It was my sophomore year, so we did everything virtually. And it was really hard staying in touch with friends, especially because, like, it was, you know, shelter in place. It was hard to, like, be able to form and to sustain and maintain those friendships, especially because they were kind of already rocky. For me, the lockdown kind of ended up being a little bit more of, like, a blessing in some ways for me, because, obviously, thankfully, because so many people went through so much, but the way the lockdown kind of looked for me was I was so bored on my phone, and I was like, dude, like, I'm trying to make some freaking friends. Like, what's going on? And I actually ended up meeting two of my most incredible best friends in the entire world, Sophia and Ray. What's up? I'm, like, giving everyone a shout out. Girl, we all here.

[B]

We all made it.

[A]

But, yeah, I ended up making. Making two incredible best friends. And it was through, like, this guy friend of mine at the time. But the funniest part is that they both went to different high schools than me. Like, my entire friend group literally didn't go to the same high school. Well, actually, besides my other friends that actually made at my own school, my two best friends didn't go to the same high school as me. But I was like, wow. Like, there's actually hella people out here. You know what I mean? So that was awesome. And, yeah, that's kind of when I started building, like, my little support system, little by little.

[B]

I love that, you know, mestavas contando noche that in seventh grade, you started experiencing something that you now know is anxiety, maybe depression, you know, cuenta nos unforguito mas. This was momentos de tuvida, you know? Do you remember the moment, moment where you first realize, like, oh, like, whatever it is that I'm feeling isn't okay, or I shouldn't be feeling this? What were you feeling during that time?

[A]

That's a really good question. Okay, so I'm trying to think back to, like, the exact day because I do. Like, it's kind of like a flashback. I just remember being in my bed, and I remember I was just like, I had a lot of stuff going on. I don't even really remember. Like, too. Too much is, like, to what was actually happening. But I just had, like, a lot of weight on me. I feel like. And one night was in my room, and I just remember feeling, like, almost like I was having a heart attack. Like, I was like, dude, like. Like, I can't. Like, oh, my God. Like, it felt like so much weight was on me, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, I literally feel like I'm dying. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Like, what's going on? And I just rushed over to my mom, and I was like, mommy, like, can you help me? Like, something's going on. Like, I literally, like, no sige mesa pasano. Like, I. I can't breathe, you know? And she was like, okay, tranquilisa. Tetoy saving. And just really trying to ground me. And we were just talking, and I was like. I don't really remember, like, what type of triggers I had going on, but I just remember, like, I was talking to my mom, and I was just so scared of death. Like, I feel like, for me, it was like my main thing was dying. And I was like. I guess it was just, like, the realization that we all die one day. And, like, did you have, like, someone.

[B]

In your family pass away maybe?

[A]

No, we. I feel like if I'm. I'm trying to go back to it. I feel like it was. I think my brother and I, we were butting heads. My brother and I aren't super duper close, but I think, like, we had just gotten into, like, a little argument or. Or, like, bicker or something like that. And then I think before my parents and I had, like, talked, and then I feel like at night I was just kind of starting to realize that, like, holy, what am I gonna do when my parents aren't here one day? You know? And I was like, oh. And then I just. I visually remember, like, my. I'm trying to, like, put. Let me put you guys, like, in my mental state, just imagine, like, everything going black, and you just see, like, the world. And, like, for me, it was just, like, all black. And then I could just see earth. And, like, it was just, like, just realizing that all of our times come to an end at some point, you know? And I was like, what am I going to do when my parents aren't here? And I feel like it was also just kind of like realizing, like, my parents are older. You know, my mom had me at 40. My dad was like, what, 42? And it's like, wow, what am I gonna do? Like, I feel like everyone else has so much time, and I felt like my time was running out, and so I was just getting really anxious, and I just had horrible anxiety about, like, me dying, my parents dying, my siblings dying. I was just like, what the hell am I gonna do when I have no one? You know?

[B]

You know, during that same year, my. That you started therapy, how did that come about? Was that something that someone recommended, or was that something that you were like, you know what? I heard of therapy. Don't know what that's like, but maybe I should try. How did those initial talks about you going to therapy start?

[A]

Well, surprisingly, I know therapy is super taboo, especially, like, for Latinos, but it was actually my mom's idea. I feel like it really got to the point where my mom was like, I can't even do nothing. Like, you really might need some help, you know? And so I just remember my mom being like, you know what? And I was like, oh, like, what is that? And she was just like, you know, someone that you can just talk to, someone that can really help guide you and help you in ways that I really can't. My mom instantly got on it, too. Like, my mom was like, you know what? We got insurance, baby. We on it, right? So she was like, therapy's covered. You go into it. And she was just on it. She literally got me a therapist for, like, what? I think it was like that. That upcoming Thursday, and it was awesome. I feel like I already, like talking about my, you know, like, I'm sitting here having the time of my life talking.

[B]

Okay, so you weren't scared going into it?

[A]

I wasn't.

[B]

So the idea of, like, talking To a stranger.

[A]

Didn't scare. Never, never. I was like, you know what? Hell, yeah. Like, there's actually some. I'm like. And seriously. And I feel like everyone does. And I mean, freaking. I'm sorry to say it, but, like, seriously, like, there is no going wrong with therapy. You know what I mean? Like, therapy, it not only teaches you so much about yourself, but it also teaches you so much about others and how to be able to handle your own emotions and how to be able to interact with other people in a better sense. And just, it really taught me how to become a better person and how to be the best version of yourself. So if you're out here considering therapy, I think, girl, do it. If your insurance covers it, girl, go get it. You know what I mean? Girl, book that appointment.

[B]

You won't. Like, the first time, you know, obviously you start going to therapy and you're like, you know what? I'm going to start telling them my problems, what I'm feeling, what I'm going through. Was there, like, a certain thing that maybe your therapist told you that made so much sense to what you were feeling, to how you were feeling? If so, tell us a little bit more about that.

[A]

At that age, obviously you don't do a whole lot of thinking about, like, you know, putting yourself in the other person's shoes. And so obviously, like, I was dealing with some stuff with my brother and just like, you know, my brother's so much older than me, and I'm a kid, right? Like, I like to have a good time, and he's just a little bit of a pain in the ass, right? Stricter and whatnot. So we would butt heads a lot. And I just talked to my therapist about that, and she was always like, you know, well, this is probably why. And, like, she would explain to me a lot, like, this is probably where he's coming from. This is why your feelings are valid, though. And same thing, like, with everyone in my family. She was just giving me so much, like, support. And I do remember, like, my main thing was, like, fears of, like, anxiety when it comes to, like, death, right? And the main thing I remember that she did that literally, I'm not kidding, like, saved me, like, saved me from these panic attacks. Was. She was like, you know what? I want you to go. Go to the store with your parents, pick out a planner, a really nice planner that you like, that you almost, like, freaking love, like, you want to write in. And I was like, okay, don't gotta tell me twice. And then she was like, and Every single. I want you to write how your day went, and I want you to keep track, because you really have to. I'm a visual learner, Right. So it's being able to visually see that I'm having more good days than bad days. It's kind of like a way to reassure yourself and just be like, okay, like, you know what? I'm fine. Like, if I'm fine every other day, it's because I'm gonna be fine no matter what.

[B]

Every day is a bad day. Exactly.

[A]

Exactly. Right. And especially because, like, the planner I had had monthly spreads, so I would just write in every day and just be like, 7 out of 10. Good day, no anxiety. And then we'd go back in the planner, like, weekly. Right. Every single week. And then we. I'd be like, oh, wow. Like, I actually had a pretty good week. And as we kept doing that throughout our therapy sessions, I just noticed, I was like, wow, like, you know what? I'm really starting to get better. Like, I'm starting to have all good days, you know, and, like, everything's kind of starting to get better. And she was like, yeah, like, this way you can reassure yourself that just because you're having a bad day today doesn't mean tomorrow is going to be a bad day. Yesterday you had a good day, you know, and. Yeah, so it was really reassuring.

[B]

I think that's a really good way to think about it, because I feel like sometimes when we're going through bad things, we let that consume us and take us in. Like, oh, my God, my life's so horrible. Well, you're having a bad day, babes. But look at the rest of the days you were doing just. And I feel like sometimes, you know, like, putting that down on paper or seeing it visually can help you. You know, obviously, no s. You know, therapy and just mental health is very taboo, especially, you know, in the Latino culture. Do you feel like it's something that should be taken more seriously? And also give us a piece of advice for anyone, you know, feel stuck mentally, that is considering therapy, but might think that it won't work.

[A]

Do it. I mean, don't even hold yourself back. You telling yourself it might not work is you being negative, and it's you being pessimistic and thinking that things don't get better. But I swear to God, if you go out and get the help that you need, it's going to get better. I mean, like, I'm proof of it. Like, it got better for me, and now it's like, I I feel like I have so much more control over my own anxiety that it's like, I'm okay now, you know? But the way I think of it is kind of like, okay, you go annually to the doctor to get a checkup, right? Like, you care about your physical being, but you don't care about your mental being. Why, your mental state is what controls everything around you. You know what I mean? So for the most part, I don't. I don't even know why therapy is so taboo. Like, that pisses me off. Because it's like, it's so important and there's so many people that don't have super good support systems. And if you feel like you don't have that support system at home, you can still get it, you know, you can still go and get a therapist and get that support you need. And it's possible. There's always someone out there that's willing to listen to you. There's someone out there that's willing to help you. And it's always possible for you to become a better version of yourself. And it's also never too late to start. You don't need to start therapy when you're super young. You can start at 30, you know, you can start at a damn 60.

[B]

You can start it. We see you blowing up, going viral, but it wasn't always like that. What was it like that made you be like, you know what? I want to grab my phone and start documenting my life. I want to start showing myself up online. What sparked that interest? And what was your first viral moment where you're like, oh, shit, all right, I can do this, like, for you.

[A]

Okay, it was actually really funny. I don't, I don't even remember the exact year, but my best friend and I, we were on the phone, we're like, you know what, Fudge it. Like, let's just start a frickin spam. Tick tock, post a shitload, see where it gets us, right? Like, I feel like TikTok at least, like what, junior year? Like, everyone was taking that seriously, you know what I mean? Like, everyone was posting thirst traps on TikTok. Like you posting stuff you want your crush to see on TikTok. Like, so much pressure to TikTok, right, that I would just get so scared to post on my main account. And even though I wanted to, I was like, you know what, I'm trying to talk. Like, I'm trying to post some funny videos. Like I'm trying to be me. And so we were just like, you Know what? Fuck it. Like yolo, let's do our own thing. Let's make that spam account. And I was like, you know what? Certified City Girl 69, what's up? Right? And I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. And I just started posting and I was like, I'm bored. I'm gonna prop my camera down, I'm gonna film myself talking and doing my makeup because I can't. And I would, it was just a daily thing. Like it was literally. It just became part of my routine. I would always put my phone up, I would always do my makeup, I'd do my hair. And keep in mind, I wasn't even really taking it too seriously. So I would literally run through a three minute video. I would do like multiple three minute video parts. Like I was just having the time of my life talking to myself. And this is also kind of a funny story. What made me kind of want to start taking TikTok a little bit more seriously was, okay, it was my junior year and I had actually just broken up with this ex of mine and I was done pretty dirty. Okay, I'm talking. I was, I was kind of dragged through the mud. I was, I was going through it basically. I'm definitely not going to get too into it, but my ex boyfriend, he started messing around with my ex best friend behind my back. And yeah, yeah. So I found out about this and it was actually two of my best friends that were involved and I was like, is you for real? I was like, okay, okay. Keep in mind at this time, like it was my junior year but the boyfriend of mine at the time, like his friend group was kind of my own friend group too. Like it was really like what I kind of had. Like those were my friends, right? So when I found out, I was just like, fuck. Like everyone thinks I'm dumb. Like I don't even know who the hell to trust. Like, you know, and it was definitely, it was a really freakin rocky part. It was definitely really shitty. It was just horrible, you know, it was. I kind of felt like, okay, damn. Like I can't even trust this guy that I thought I liked, I thought I loved. Okay. I can't even trust my own freaking best friends. And I just felt so alone. And I was like, damn, I really don't got much. Obviously I keep saying best friends soy super amiguera. Okay, So I mean that's kind of where I went wrong. But it has nothing to do with my current best friends, but they were my best friends at the Time. And when I found out about this, I was like, okay, so I don't really know what to do. Keep in mind I only had one friend that I still went to school with because my other best friends went to different high schools, right? So I was like, okay, what am I gonna do with like just me and my one friend? Like we literally have no one. And it's like our junior year, going to senior year, this is prom time. This is like it's getting serious. Like it's. Things are getting legit. Like this is when you really want to start building that community. And I felt like my community just got ripped apart and frickin thrown across the room, right? So I was like, okay, damn, I don't really have anyone. And obviously I was, I had my TikTok and so I was just talking shit and I was like, you know what, can you fucking believe this? And I was just going off and I was going crazy and it was basically like, who did I marry? But like before, you know, And I was like, who did I date and.

[B]

Who did I befriend?

[A]

Yeah, literally I was like, what the fuck? And yeah, so I just started posting and talking about it and blah, blah, blah. And a lot of people just started giving me that support. And I didn't even know how many other people have gone through things like this, right? So getting the comments and getting like just the support and like I would just read through my comments and it was just like, girl, like I'm sorry you went through that. Like, like just so much advice. And it really gave me the support that I needed at the time. And I was like, okay, you know what? Even though I don't have hella friends at school, I got hella friends online. So I'm chilling, right? And I was just like, it just, it really helped me see kind of the light in like such a dark time of my life. And as for when I went viral, junior year, I had gotten fucked over, right? Junior year, going into like senior year, I was still getting fucked over. Like this fucking beef just dragged on for so long and now we're getting into like junior summer senior year and I'm like, you know what, I'm trying to have a good fucking time. Like my name is not certified city girl for no fucking reason. Reason, right? So this is when I start having a blast. I start running some game, I start freaking building on my roster. I'm just having a good time. And my first viral video, this video was like my first like million view video, right? And it Was actually a get ready with me for two man. Which, in case, if you don't know what a two man is, it's kind of like a double date. So say you and your best friend go and link with a guy and his best friend. That's a two man, right? Each of you have, like, your own partner. So it's kind of like a double date. But you kind of know you're going there to have some fun. But it's like, there's not as much weight of it being, like a first date because you're there with your friend. So it was me and my best friend Isabella. We were like, you know what? Let's go on a little two man. Let's have some fun. Hopefully her parents aren't watching this girl. I love y', all, though. And we're like, okay, with who? And then she was. She kind of. Keep in mind, I met Dylan, my boyfriend, through Izzy, and she was like, you know what? Let's set up this two man with Dylan and his friend. And I was like, girl, I'm down. And so we are setting up this two man. And I'm like, okay, let me get ready for it. I'm filming this. Get ready with me. I'm like, y' all get ready with me for a two man. Like, in case my family sees this, a two man is just like, going to hang out with your friend, right? And people fucking went ballistic. Like, they went crazy. They were like, oh, my God, you're hilarious. Like, they were just laughing so hard, and they were like, the definition of a two man. Like, just freaking loving it. I posted this get ready with me, right? And then I just logged off on my TikTok and I was hanging out in my two man. I was having a good time. And then the next day, I come back and it's like at 1.2 minutes million. And I'm like, holy. I'm at like 5, 000 followers. I had, what, 400 before I was like, what the hell is this? So that was like my first. Like, oh, my God. Like, what the.

[B]

Like, do I pack my bags?

[A]

Hello, Hollywood. Like, what's up? And I'm not gonna lie, though. I was so embarrassed. I was like, oh, like this. When I really.

[B]

This is the one that goes.

[A]

I was like, dude, I'm. If, like, Dylan sees this, I'm. If my parents see this, I was like, oh, my God. What? I do. And then I was like, you know what? It. I'm gonna block people. And then I just blocked all the people And I was like, okay, family, blocked. Friends that I'm not super close with, blocked. Dylan, blocked. Boys, blocked. Everyone was just blocked, right? And I was like, okay, I'm gonna keep having fun. And then obviously, like, me and Dylan kept hanging out. We kept going on these two mans. And so I kept making get readies with me. I was also sneaking out a lot at the time, which hopefully my mom doesn' my ass if she sees this. But I was, like, making videos saying, like, get ready with me to sneak out, and, like, just like, a whole bunch of stuff. Like, I had. Not, like, I had super strict parents, but, like, you know, they don't want. Like, I was, what, 17 now they're not about to let me go to the club willingly. You know what I mean? So I was just filming funny videos and, like, just filming videos of, like, my life, and it really built, like, a strong community, and it was just. It was incredible. And I was like, damn, I love that.

[B]

You know, for those of you guys that don't know, Dylan's right here with us. He's in the audience today. I love that. You know, I want to go a little bit back. You know, you were telling me yesterday that after this breakup, you had, you know, a moment of healing where you found, you know, the bad bitch in you again. You know, we love that. Tell us a little bit more about that. I want to know, what was it like, you know, healing from such a big betrayal like that, not just from your partner, but from your friends, you know, what did the days look after that? And at what moment did you be like, you know what? Like this. I'm tired of being sad. I'm gonna start, like, healing myself.

[A]

Don't get me wrong. It was tough. It was rough, too. I was going through it. Y' all. Keep in mind, before I had gotten, like, over, I had a fab ass, Bob, okay? I had literally my haircut up to here. I just felt so, like, insecure with how I looked. And it was just like, damn. Like, y' all really got me when I was already low. So it was. It definitely took a while. It was, like, a whole lot of, like, hating myself. I was like, dude, like, what the hell? Like, I don't feel my best. Like, I don't even. I'll look in the mirror, and I don't really like what I see. Like, I was just really unhappy with myself. And I was like. It kind of got to a point where I was like, why, though? Like, why am I gonna keep being fucking sad with the way I Look, and the way, like, there's nothing bad about me. There's literally nothing wrong with me whatsoever. Why am I gonna treat myself like I'm less than, you know? And it was kind of just like, building that mentality for myself. And a lot of people are, like, flawed. Like, how do I get that flaw of mentality? It's a whole lot of, like, looking into yourself, realizing, you know, what, if no one's gonna love you, you better love yourself. And it was kind of just like that. That switch that flipped in my head, and I was like, instead of seeing all of the bad things that are wrong with me and all, like, the ugly parts of me, I'm gonna start embracing all the beautiful parts. And obviously, it wasn't easy. I definitely took it step by step for me in my senior year, I was really, like, insecure about my weight and, like, my body. And so I would always, like, go out with a jacket on, jacket zipped up. Like, I'll be wearing a crop top and some Lulu's, but, like, that jacket is zipped up, you know? And then I was like, you know what? Fuck this jacket. Left the jacket at home. I started forcefully putting myself in positions that I felt uncomfortable in, but that, like, the only thing that you're going to get out of that is growth, you know? So that definitely helped me. I kind of started just embracing my body and being more comfortable with myself, and I kind of just started becoming my own best friend. I was like, you know what? I can't even trust these bitches, so I'm a trust myself. And I was like, I got it for myself.

[B]

That was my name. Next question. You know, after that big betrayal with your friends, do you feel like after that it kind of became a little harder for you to trust girls or trust, like, new girlfriends? Because you were like, like, if my other two best friends me over. You know what I mean? Did that kind of cause a little confusion in the way you started befriending girls?

[A]

Not really. I feel like it should have. It definitely should have. And I mean, trust me, like, I'm one to learn my lesson from the first time, but it was also just like, I don't know, I'm very optimistic. And I was like, just because I met, what, two rotten apples, it doesn't mean that the rest of the world is fucked up. And at least for me, like, for the most part at least, I have a few, a handful of solid friends that have proved to me what real female friendships looked like. And it was never, like, thinking, like, oh, shit. Like, the next one's gonna fuck me over. It was always just like, you know what those did, moving on to the next, you know, it was always their loss, it was never mine. And so I never really let them, that kind of move forward with like my other friendships, even though I definitely should. I feel like I should learn to be a little bit less trusting and like, less out there. But I don't know, I fucking love meeting people. Like, I love meeting friends. I feel like human interaction is literally like the core of humanity. Like, it's like what makes us human beings. And it's like, I want to be your friend no matter what. Like, if I get fucked over, okay, that's my lesson to learn what happens is meant to happen, whatever, and like, we'll keep going.

[B]

And I feel like that's a great mentality to have because I feel like if you would have maybe closed yourself off, you could have ran into a lot of friendships that could have potentially be great friendships. But you're like.

[A]

But I'm glad I'm just holding myself.

[B]

It would only, yeah, hold yourself and you'll deal with it, you'll grow from it, and you'll heal from it, you.

[A]

Know, which I think is the good thing, right? And I learned that it never said anything about me. It only spoke about them. So I was like, whatever.

[B]

You know, during that time, I feel like for women, I feel like going through a breakup is really hard, you know, no matter the situation. How important do you. Do you think, you know, was it for you and in general for the women watching at home, how important do you think it is to find self love during this journey? Like, I feel like a lot of women, or even men, if you're listening, I know we also have men watching. How do you think, you know, during that, like, almost grieving process of the relationship, how important is it for you to, you know, find self love and spend time with yourself rather than going out partying, drinking, you know, doing hoshi? How important was it for you to be like, you know what? I really want to focus on me during this era.

[A]

Oh my gosh, so important. I mean, I don't really know if, if it was just kind of like the way I was raised. But I learned that you can either hide your emotions and hide your feelings and hide what you're going through, or you can really embrace them and really feel them for what it is. And I feel like I kind of grew up like being told, like, feeling your emotions is what makes you human. Right? And like, that kind of goes back to that therapy. Like, if you get done wrong, don't just expect, like, okay, fuck it, I'm a go out. And, like, you know, like, it's not like that. Like, you're never gonna actually heal from it. You're never gonna learn the lesson you were supposed to learn. I think it's super important to be able to give yourself time to heal and not just, you know, jump into, like, having fun. And, like, I don't know if you guys have heard, like, after breakups, like, guys always seem to, like, seem like they're having a better time. And, like, guys will go out with their friends and, like, they'll have a good time. And then it's like, they only really feel the breakup a few months in. Right. Like, after three months are like, damn, I got start.

[B]

My girls really do prioritize the healing.

[A]

Exactly. And it's.

[B]

So when the guys come back, you're like, bitch already.

[A]

You're like, bitch. I'm good off you. Yeah, you could have maybe a month ago.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like, keep it like that. Yeah, like, we learn, right?

[B]

Yeah, you learn.

[A]

Yeah. And keep it like that. Like, that's literally the healthiest thing you could ever do for yourself. And just for your future. You too, right? Like, letting yourself learn. Letting yourself learn the lesson that you were supposed to learn. Just letting yourself feel it too.

[B]

I love that, you know, get up, Dylan. You know, you go through that. You guys tell us the crazy, fun story of how you guys met. I think that's a really cool, exciting story. Like, the two men tell us a little bit more about, you know, how did you guys make it official after going on dates?

[A]

What?

[B]

How did he ask you out? How did he be? And how did you be? Like, you know what? Maybe I want, like, a relationship more than just little dates. How. How did that go for you, dude?

[A]

So weird, because he's right here. So I can't even talk shit, huh? No, I'm just kidding. No. Okay. So I was definitely in, like, my man eater. Like, fuck guys. I hate dudes. Like, fuck this. You know, I wasn't like that type of era right when I met Dylan. But I don't know why. I was just different. Like, I was just like. I think it was just something in my gut telling me, like, he's worth pursuing and not pursuing, but, like, he's worth letting in. Right? And okay, so the day we actually met, it was really funny. So Izzy, my best friend, she used to snap Dylan, right? Like, they. They were mutual friends. Used to know of each other. And so she's like, they were snapp and forth. She showed me a picture of him, and I was like, who the fuck is that fine ass? I was like, who's that? And then she's like, oh, my God, it's Dylan. Like, let me put you on. And I was like, but you better. And so she was like, wait, like, we're actually in a city, right? Because they live in the same city. And so she was like, let's ask him to hang out. And I was like, okay. We were hanging out with, like, one of his, like, mutual friends, I guess. And so we were already, like, at this lookout area. And she snaps him. She's like, hey, like, do you want to hang out? Like, we're with blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm with Flavia and blah, blah, blah. And he was like, what? Yeah, sure. Like, I don't know. He just pulled up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I see him pull up in his big white truck, and immediately I'm like, oh, the. And then he hops out, and I'm like, oh, that's my man. I was like, okay. Like, that's my mind. Instantly. Instantly. I called dibs. I was like, okay, yep, I want him. And it was so funny. He actually gets out of his truck. I'm freaking out, you guys. I'm not kidding. It's like love at first sight. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, that's fine. Dead ass. Like, ring the alarm, right? And so I'm like, oh, my God. I'm freaking out to, like, oh. Because I'm in the back seat, right? I'm in the back seat seat of a different truck, and Izzy and her friend are in the front. Whatever. I'm in the back seat. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, what if he walks up here? Like, let me try and unlock this, right? He's walking up to the car, you guys. I'm bricks. I'm like, oh, my God. Like, this is my first real. And I'm going. He's literally going to open the door, right? To say hi, right? I lock it. I lock the door in his face. And he's like. And then he walks away. And I'm like, oh, I just fumbled. I love. What did. I just.

[B]

Was it tinted? It was.

[A]

I'm broke, okay? It was tinted. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? And then I was like, dude, now I can't even, like, say hi. Like, this is awkward, right? And I was like, oh, my God. But we ended up talking. We ended up, hanging out. He was beautiful, beautiful personality. And then we just kind of kept it going, and I don't know, he just intrigued me. Like, he was older, and I was like, oh, he's cute. And, like, I don't know. It's just everything about him, his personality, like, the way he made me feel. And it was just. I was like, you know what? I'm getting green flags. Like, I'm getting good vibes. I'm like, you know what? Like, we're going to see where this goes. And we were talking for some time. We became friends. It was obviously a little bit different or a little bit harder because he was already, like, a year older than me. So I was a senior, and he was already, you know, graduated. And so I was like, oh, like, I want to do this. Like, do all my senior activities. And it was just like, oh, like, should we walk it in? You know, I just remember, like, the day he asked me out. He. We. He picked me up. We were hanging out. It was literally a regular hangout, you guys. And March 21st, okay, let's not forget it's raining. It's literally pouring rain. And we're driving in his truck, and I'm just feeling like the shit, you know, I'm just doing my thing, looking cute and pretty, whatever, in the front.

[B]

Like, this my truck passenger.

[A]

I'm like, girl, this my whip. Like, let me drive the boat. What's up? Right? I'm having a great time, whatever. But I don't know why I get, like, this weird feeling. I'm like, okay, something's going on. Like, I'm like, what's. What's going on? Right? We park up next to, like, this train, right? We're just sitting in the car like it's raining, and I'm just like, oh, like, something's about to happen. But I'm. I'm not getting good vibes. I'm like, oh, like, what's going on? Right? I'm thinking, like. I'm like, oh, he's gonna end it with me, right? It's Coldplay. Coldplay. I think it was like, Sparks is playing or something. Like a sad. So. So I'm like, oh, my God. He's like, yeah. I'm like, oh. He's like, floppy. Like, I think we should talk. And I'm like, oh, like, I'm about to get broke. I'm about to get ended with. I was like, oh, hell, let me.

[B]

Beat you to it. Yeah.

[A]

I was like, okay, y', all, let me lock in. Let me regroup. Let me see where this goes, right? So I'm, like, thinking of, like, what to say. He's talking and he's just, like, blabbing, whatever, talking, talking, talking. And then finally he's like, I just. Like, I don't know. Like, I just. Will you be my girlfriend? And I'm like, oh, like, okay, let's go.

[B]

Imagine if you would have beat him to it first.

[A]

Yeah, right? And if I was, I probably would have. The same thing. I probably would have. I feel like. I probably would have. I feel like I kind of did that before, I think. Honestly, I think it was, like, Valentine's Day, like, a month before. I think, like, something. Oh, my gosh. Yes. I think it was, like, a month before. I think we're hanging out or something, and I don't know why. It was Valentine's Day, and I was like, okay. He didn't ask me to be his Valentine. Like, something went wrong. And I was like, okay, this is weird. And, like, we're hanging out, and I'm just getting a weird, weird vibe. And I'm like, you know what? We're done. Like, we're done. Like, I don't. Like, this shouldn't. Like, no. Like, it's not working out, right? And then he's like, oh, in the back seat, he has, like, what? Roses, Chocolates? Like a toy.

[B]

He's like, girl, that's my whole paycheck.

[A]

Oh, my dead ass. I'm like, oh, my God. And then I'm like, damn. Like, you really did care. Like, just keep in mind, we were talking. Like, it's not like we were officially dating, you think?

[B]

It was, like, just you mentally thinking, like, he wasn't feeling you, and you.

[A]

Were like, let me just tell you, just, like, me over. Yeah, I feel like for me, I was like, okay, I'm. You know, we're talking, but, like, I know how it is. Like, I know how guys are. Obviously, I've been through the ringer. Like, I know how it be. And I was like, okay. Like, maybe he's talking to other people. And, like, at the time, like, there was some drama with, like, this other girl at my school. And I was like, oh. Like, I don't know. Like, there was just some stuff going on. And I was like, okay. Like, I don't even know how. Like, legit and, like, locked in we are, right? And so I was like, okay. Like, I'm big on, like, what's it called? I'm big on. What's the word?

[B]

Energy.

[A]

Not even energy. Like, actions of affection. No.

[B]

Oh, Acts of service.

[A]

Yeah, like, acts of, like, love. Like, big affection, I guess. Like, just, like, big, like, surprises, like, showing that, like, you know, I want.

[B]

To know that you care.

[A]

Exactly. Like, it's Valentine's Day. I'm trying to see a teddy bear and some flowers. Like, don't pick me up without it. Right? He picked me up without it, and I was like. And so then, little did I know, like, his ass is just mysterious. And, like, wanted to surprise me with it. I was like, oh, damn. So, yeah, that was, like. That was a funny part. But we've been together now for, what, two years? Like, he's my best friend.

[B]

If I can give you only one word to describe the relationship, what would that word be?

[A]

That's a good one. I don't know. Damn, That's. I feel like, three ways. Like, I'm. Okay. I say, like, what? Growing up together. Like, I feel like him and I both were kind of like, we're growing up. Like, we're becoming adults together. And, like, we were literally just talking about this today. Like, wow, we feel so grown up. Like, just picked up our first rental. Like, you know what I mean? Like, we're definitely experiencing a lot of things together for the first time. And it's awesome. It's like, wow. Like. Like I was saying earlier, like, growing up, I really grew up alone, and, like, I grew up doing things alone, and now it's like, I have my best friend to do everything right, and it's like, just kind of like, that's my person and I love him, and.

[B]

It'S great, you know, you've gone through heartbreaks, then you found your principa. Susan, you know, you have. You. You found love. What piece of advice would you give someone watching, going through a breakup or heartbreak that feels like it won't get better?

[A]

It always does for one. Don't ever think that things don't get better, because they do. Like, everyone can, you know, vouch for that. But I feel like. Like you were saying, like, but for the most part, part, I became, like, my own principe, right? Like, I became my own prince. That part. Like, no, but seriously, like, I. I really became my own first, like, love of my life, like, before I even met Dylan. And, like, still to this day, like, I could. Dylan could probably fucking preach for this, too. Like, I. I love myself above everything, and. And really realizing that you can't expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself. Like, you have to love yourself 30 times, 30,000 times more. Than you can ever love anyone else. Right? So it's a whole lot of like, you might not feel that love. Especially like I get so many dms of like girls being like, oh, I just finished like a six year relationship or like I just finished a super long term relationship and blah blah, blah, blah. Don't ever think that like your life went to shit. Like don't think that the love of your life is gone. No, you are the own love of your life. Like you can find your partner, you can find, you know, your, your soulmate and whatnot, but for the most part, you're always going to be love of your life. And I realized that and I feel like that's why it was really easy like being with Dylan and like not a lot of things like affected me, I guess. And I was like, you know what, I love myself more. Like when we ended that one day, I was like, you know what, we'll end whatever. But like I still have myself. Right? Like realizing you always have yourself no matter what. You don't need another person to validate you. You don't need another person to make you worthy enough. You are completely more than enough. And you just really have to realize that and really love your yourself to the fullest.

[B]

I really do agree with that. I feel especially for the women watching at home, I feel like a lot of the time, you know, they want to feel validated by a man, but you shouldn't, you know. You know, you can love yourself more than a man can love you, respect yourself more than a man can ever. And it's great that you found that self love because the, you're like, you know what? I know I'll be fine know it's great because I feel like you do need to have that, you know, whether that's career wise, relationship wise.

[A]

Well, hopefully right now I'm at a community, so I really want to transfer to a four year Berkeley. If y' all are watching this, y' all get me in, please. Seriously, like, fingers crossed. Pray for me. All we're trying to get in there. I'm doing communications. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, pretty broad, like major. I mean, I'm hoping you're really good too. Thank you. Yeah, so hopefully with my degree and hopefully I just, I have, I really, I don't really know if I'm gonna keep like the whole social media thing going on. I feel like that would definitely be my dream. But when people like refer to me as like an influencer, I'm always like really? Like, I don't I don't really see myself as that. I feel like literally every single person that follows me is more of a, of like an influencer to me. Like, they all influence me. Every single person that's in my comment section being like, oh, flawed. Like, I love it when you do this. Oh, Flav, you should try out this. Like, you guys are influencing me to literally do what I do every single day. And so hopefully I keep it going. Like, I would never want to like leave any of you guys. I feel like you guys are just my family. So hopefully I'm still doing social media or definitely not having like a full like kid yet or anything like that. But I would definitely like to like have my own places by then and like have helping my own house and engaged. Maybe I'm like, how old am I? 25 years.

[B]

Wait, well, in five years, how old.

[A]

Am I right now?

[B]

I can't even hit you with the you should be engaged. Because I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we're not engaged.

[A]

Okay. Hopefully you're engaged.

[B]

Hopefully I am.

[A]

Hopefully I'm married.

[B]

Hopefully I'm married, not engaged.

[A]

Hell Yeah.

[B]

I think 15 years. Yes. No, literally. But I, I know every single one of the your dreams and everything you aspire and I really have been having such the time of my life. I know. You know what's so funny? I normally never film Fridays only because I feel like Fridays. I like to really like sit down and take it like the Friday episode. But I love the fact that I'm spending my Friday night here.

[A]

Right? These are literally the best plans ever.

[B]

I love it, you guys. Our social medias down below as well as on the screen. So you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you once again for being here.

[A]

Thank you. I love you guys. Thank you and thank you guys so.

[B]

Much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye guys. You did so good.

[A]

Mom, dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero backpack. But next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs. I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller, but I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop. Low prices for school on Amazon. K good chat Amazon. Spend less, smile more support for this.

[B]

Podcast and the following message comes from America's Navy. The Navy offers new graduates hands on training and experience in careers like computer science, aviation and medicine. Plus education and sign on bonuses. Parents help your grads start their career [e-mail].