← Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Gabe Talks All: Parent's Divorce, Loss & Grief, Finding God, CHISME & MORE!!
01:46:30
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- [00:00]
Gabe
Exclusively on ESPN. UFC 313 tonight. Reigning light heavyweight champion Alex Pereira defends his title against number one contender Magomed Ankalaev and an explosive lightweight bout between Justin Gaethje and Rafael Pizzie. UFC 313 tonight at 10pm Eastern. Buy it on espnplus.com ppb Got my.
- [00:27]
Alan I.
Seat Hair.
- [00:30]
Gabe
Whistle while you work from Disney. On March 21, the magical tale Snow White. Snow White, Snow White that started it all.
- [00:40]
Alan I.
I believe you're looking for me.
- [00:42]
Gabe
Arrives in theaters. Magic Mirror on the Wall Experience.
- [00:46]
Alan I.
The Disney classic who's the fairest one of all?
- [00:51]
Gabe
Like never before.
- [00:52]
Alan I.
We haven't even been in her gauge yet.
- [00:55]
Gabe
Disney Snow White only in theaters March 21st. Rated PG. Parental guidance suggested. And I would have like a lot Survivor, Survivor's Guilt. Cuz, you know, seeing all my friends die young, you know, and it'd be like I was just with you like an hour ago and now you're gone, you know, and I would think it could have been me or it should have been me instead.
- [01:27]
Alan I.
What is up, you guys? I'm your host, Alan I. And this is Noche de Pinde Caras, your favorite podcast turn talk show. And on the Yotrago atus influencers favoritos, alas. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight.
- [01:52]
Gabe
Gabe, thank you for having me. It's honored to be here.
- [01:56]
Alan I.
I am so excited that the I know a lot of you guys have requested them. And you know what's so funny? When we got in contact to make this happen, I was actually super excited. I was telling your manager that I'm so excited to be able to have you here to tell your story because I'm not going to lie, you guys. I see a lot of the clips. I see a lot of like the TikTok videos and I'm like, you know what, yose, I must have gave them just those clips. So I'm so excited to be able to have you. Before we start with today's episode, I'm going to go ahead and give you the mic so you can go ahead and tell us a little bit more of who you are and what you do.
- [02:30]
Gabe
My name is Gabe. I'm 21, I'm from Phoenix, Arizona. I do TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, tick tock lives. I literally come out here every weekend. It's like a second home to me. I'm just staring at Airbnbs every other weekend out here.
- [02:42]
Alan I.
Do you have plans to like come out here and live?
- [02:44]
Gabe
I think about it, but then I Think about, like, taxes and the traffic.
- [02:48]
Alan I.
But I feel like if you're always commuted, might as well move out here, no?
- [02:51]
Gabe
Yeah, I think about. I spend so much money, like as much as you pay for a house to live out here on Airbnb, I bet.
- [02:56]
Alan I.
Because Airbnb especial mentamigas in Los Angeles. Estanbian caros are so expensive in LA that I'm like. Because I know you were here last weekend.
- [03:04]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [03:05]
Alan I.
Then you came this weekend. And you're probably gonna up next weekend. But I'm so excited to have him here with us today so we can get to learn a little bit more about him. We're gonna go ahead and start off with today's interview with the question that I love, starting with, tell us a little bit more about your childhood. How was Gabe growing up?
- [03:25]
Gabe
I was a very funny kid. I was kind of to myself when it comes to, like, school and stuff, but at home, I was very close to my family, my cousins. It's very close to my cousins. My cousins are like my best friends. Growing up, we were always just messing around with each other, being funny, doing pranks on each other. I was a silver tooth kid growing up. I was always fighting kids, doing dumb things like ding dong ditching. I remember when I was a kid, I used to buy like, BB guns from the ice cream man. I don't know if they still sell those, but back then they did. They were like the little orange bullets. Yeah, they're like a dollar or two. I would buy them and I would shoot at, like, kids in the neighborhood. And I was just being mean to like, other kids. I was kind of not a bully, but it would be like we'd have, like, little beefs in the neighborhood, you know, I didn't like that kid on that block. Yeah. Literally, it was so bad.
- [04:06]
Alan I.
Would they ever come complain to your mom?
- [04:07]
Gabe
Yeah, their parents would come to my house or my parents would go to their house. It was bad. My heart would, like, drop down and I'll get grounded. They'll take my game away. Or I couldn't go out for a week or something.
- [04:17]
Alan I.
But still wouldn't learn.
- [04:18]
Gabe
Yeah, I would still keep, like, I.
- [04:20]
Alan I.
Would still be fucking BB gunning these kids. I want to talk a little bit about something that happened very early on in your life. Around the age of seven and eight, your parents separated. Tell us a little bit more about that.
- [04:32]
Gabe
Yeah, so I was around like 6. I know I'd say like 7, 8. I kind of understood that they weren't, you know, doing the best. I would see them fight, like argue. I would just always hear them arguing, you know, in the other room or sometimes I'd hear it in the car. I could just tell that they weren't happy with each other. And I didn't understand it, like how unhealthy it was. But I remember seeing them or them telling us, hey, we're not gonna live together no more. You know, we're breaking up. And that affected me a lot. I feel like it made me depressed, like really young. I was very depressed, like at 8 or 9 because of this. I didn't understand it. I didn't understand like why my mom wanted to leave my dad. And I was too young to get it, but I just seen it like, as my mom kind of walking out on us. But I would still see my mom like every weekend. We had like a little rotation. This weekend with my dad, next weekend with my mom. And it was just like that for.
- [05:15]
Alan I.
Years, you know, did you get to choose who like you were staying with or did your mom just kind of like went on her own and you stayed with your dad?
- [05:21]
Gabe
It was like they had like a set schedule. There was no like legal thing involved saying, you know, you got to spend X amount of time with them. It was just, this weekend's your dad's weekend, next weekend's your mom's weekend. Kind of just like that. It made me had a lot of like resentment towards my mom because I didn't, like, I didn't, like I said, I didn't understand. I was too young to understand. For a long time, up until my teenage years, I disliked my mom. Like I felt like she walked out on us kind of. Even though, like I said I would see her every weekend, I had this idea of her made up, you know, because I didn't understand. I would just think about, like, I wish they were together. Like, why are they doing this? You know, because they were still always fighting with each other even though they weren't together. Like, we have drop off spots with me in the parking lot, I'll leave my dad's, go to my mom's. And they would argue and talk and they would fight on the phone still. And I would just like, I hate being like this. I just want to live in the same house together. Because when they were together, we had a really nice house, like a five bedroom house, two stories, you know, and we had like some family living with us. And it just felt like everything was, everyone was together and closer and whenever they had separated, it feel like everybody kind of like my family all got distant from each other and it was hard, I know it was really hard on my dad. I had seen him like very sad and depressed and it was hard on him financially too, to maintain, you know, having a five bedroom house and a car payment, all that stuff. And I seen my dad struggle a lot and like I said, I didn't understand it. So I just disliked my mom because I seen my dad struggling and I don't know, it just broke me, you know.
- [06:38]
Alan I.
Were you vocal about like the dislike you had for your mom?
- [06:40]
Gabe
Yeah, my mom knows we. And my mom knows. She always brings it up to this day every time I see her. Remember you used to hate me? Remember used to be so evil and say these things to me because I would.
- [06:49]
Alan I.
What would you say or what would you say?
- [06:51]
Gabe
I would literally say that I hate you or I don't want to be here, I want to go to my dad's, you know, Like, I would straight up tell her, like I said I was too little to understand anything. I would literally pray for them to get back together. I remember I. I remember one Christmas I asked for them to get back together. Obviously they didn't, but I hope that they would, you know, one day. It wasn't about like two or three years later, they started seeing other people. That was even harder on me because I was like, yeah, they're not getting back together. For my dad, I don't know why. I think it's just because he was like my friend. It made me happy to see him like not down and so sad, you know. It made me happy to see my dad happy, but for some reason I didn't want to see my mom move on. But my dad ended up like introducing us to his now stepmom, his girlfriend. At the time, I didn't really. I wasn't a big fan of her. I'm not going to lie at first just because I don't want to see my, my parents move on, you know. But you know, after like a coup, I kind of got used to being around her. And he introduced us to her, like at a family party. We would always, my dad would always go over to my uncle's house and we would just have like cookouts and barbecues there, you know. He brought her one day and I was like, who the fuck is this? He's actually younger than my dad. I think she's younger by like, like, I think it's like 10 years. Oh, shit.
- [07:52]
Alan I.
Okay, so she's super younger than your dad.
- [07:54]
Gabe
I think she was like, 24, I think. And I must have been, like, I think 11 or 12.
- [07:59]
Alan I.
How was it with your mom when she finally started redoing her life?
- [08:02]
Gabe
She actually brought someone along, I think way later than my dad, like, a year after. But my dad had told me that my mom was talking to another guy. I'm assuming they told each other on the phone, you know, I'm seeing somebody else. My dad had told me, oh, your mom's talking to a guy, and he's a cop. And I'm just thinking, like, oh, she's with a square. You know, Like, I'm thinking all the bad things, and I'm thinking, oh, my mom's moving on already. And I was just angry. I didn't meet him till, like, a couple, like, six, seven months maybe after hearing about him, and I just didn't like him.
- [08:28]
Alan I.
Is that the person she's with now or not?
- [08:30]
Gabe
Yeah, it is. Yeah.
- [08:31]
Alan I.
How do you feel like your relationship with, you know, him has changed over the years? Do you feel like now as an adult, do you feel like you're a little bit more like, okay, you know, I can have a combo with you that. Or do you feel like it's still very much like that?
- [08:44]
Gabe
It took some years, but he did grow on me. It wasn't just because of him, my mom moving on. It just. We just didn't get along at first. You know, we had different perspectives on things, and he was raised different, and I was raised different, and, like, I didn't like it at all. He grew up, like, in a military household. I just grew up in a, you know, regular family, you know, just get good grades and stuff. But he would wake us up every morning. Like, at a certain time, you got to make your bed, you know, you got to clean the house. I've got to come home. The house has to be, like, spotless. Like, he would come home, look at the kitchen table and, like, see if there's any. Yeah, literally, just like that. This has to be swept. I mean, obviously I had chores at my other houses, but it was not, like, as intense. So I felt like when I would go to my mom's house and be around him, it felt like I was, like, at a boot camp. And I hated it so much because I couldn't do anything. You know, I just had to, like, just adjust that lifestyle. When I was in sixth, seventh grade, me and my stepdad had, like, a disagreement, and I had told my dad about it, and he was like, I want to get custody of you guys. You know, I Don't want you guys over there anymore or I want to have, you know, like majority of like time with you guys. And you guys spend it on the weekends with her or every other weekend. And it was like a big, like, court thing that was going on for like a couple months. And then they ended up just agreeing on just 50, 50. But during that time, it made me, like, even more just dislike my mom because it seemed like she was trying to take me away from my dad. And it seemed like my. Like I said, I always sided with my dad. My dad was like my best friend. So I just wanted to be with my dad. And like I said, I was too young to understand, like, why they weren't together. I hated seeing my mom move on and I don't know, I just really wanted to be with my dad like full time, you know, always with him. It wasn't about till I was like in my later teen years that I started to understand it more, you know, why they had chose to go their separate ways. And, you know, when you just get older, you just understand. You realize, you realize you live through.
- [10:22]
Alan I.
Things and you're like, oh, shit. Maybe that's what my parents went through. Yeah. During that time you fell in a deep depression. You know, you struggled a lot emotionally. Tell us how the divorce affected you emotionally and when you did go into that depression, what that.
- [10:36]
Gabe
Like, I know that I struggled like a lot in school. Like, I failed every single grade. I would just go to school and just sleep and I wouldn't pay attention. I know I would. As soon as that test would get passed to me, I just, I didn't care. Like, I just wasn't thinking about my future because I was more worried about, you know, what was going on at home. Yeah, what was going on at home. And it definitely distracted me a lot, like hearing them fight or. I know that during that time my dad was struggling a lot financially and there'd be times, you know, we wouldn't. We didn't have water or like electricity and we'd get like eviction notices. So it would make me think, like, where is my dad going to be? Where are we going to be? I was too young to even make any money, so I know I couldn't help my dad. But all I would think about, you know, like, where are we going? Where's my dad going to go? What's going to happen with my dad? And my mom was living with her mom at the time, so I know things were a little bit easier on her, like, money wise. I know I'd go to my mom's, and I would just think, like, how is my dad doing? You know, what is he doing? How is he taking it?
- [11:26]
Alan I.
You know, going through a divorce as a kid is very confusing. And I feel like it really does, you know, play a big role with how you see relationships, with how you navigate even, you know, talking to someone. Do you feel like them going through the divorce and living what you live, do you feel like it affected the way you see relationships?
- [11:44]
Gabe
Yeah, it definitely did scare me. Like, I know it's my mom, but I, I. It made me think, like, that a woman can just leave, you know, up and go whenever she feels she needs to, or she feels it's not working for her. And I seen my dad, like, trying and trying and trying to make things work, and it just wasn't enough, you know, to fix what I've had happened. But it made me definitely just know that, you know, nothing's forever, nothing's promised. And especially with love, it's not always gonna. Things aren't always gonna be sunshines and rainbows, you know, it's not always gonna be a honeymoon phase that sometimes people just grow. Grow apart, you know?
- [12:14]
Alan I.
Did you have a conversation with your parents about how you had been feeling, like, your childhood, or was it just something that you learned on yourself? Never really addressed it to them.
- [12:22]
Gabe
I'd say, like, all through elementary, middle school and stuff, up until, like, I think, my junior year, I was always sad and depressed. Like, I remember I'd get out of school, just go to bed, just stay in my room all day. Just be in my bed and playing video games. And I wouldn't go out, I wouldn't talk to nobody. Just always negative, you know, And I started to, like, just be on my mind so much. Like, I'd be in class just zoning out, thinking about this happened back then, this happened. You know, just reflecting on all the trauma and all that stuff, I started to get, like, a really bad stutter from my stress. I would stutter a lot. Like, I couldn't complete sentences that I would. I couldn't do, like, any presentations in school. I couldn't talk in front of, like, a crowd of people. I would, if I was here, I would be like, it was so bad. Like, my stutter was so bad. My mom started noticing, like, why are you stuttering so much? And we had, like, did some research, and it was due to so much stress. And, like, I felt like I was so overwhelmed and anxious, and it was all because of, like, the traumatic stuff. I Went through, I had to address it. And it was because I was so angry at my mom for. I felt like she walked out on us. So me, mom, my mom had a talk because she had did some research and she was saying it's from stress. And she's like, what are you stressing about? You're 15, 16, you're just in high school. You don't have no bills, you know, no responsibilities. And I told her, you know, at this point, my dad is already living with his new girlfriend and she's. We're living in a house with her husband. And so it's like been years already, you know, and. But it's still just in the back of my mind and I had to just tell her, like, I hate you, I hate you for felt like you walked out on us. You left my dad, you left him to struggle. And I don't trust you. Like, I don't trust that you love me. And during this time, she would show me affection more and I just didn't, like, I wasn't going for it. Like, I felt like it was fake. Like, because during the times where I was angry at her, I would straight up say, like, I hate you, I don't like you. I don't want to be here. You know, and I'm probably to a mom that hurts a lot. And I didn't understand, you know, that I'm, I'm just saying stuff because I'm angry at her. But I know she would be super like kind of just less affectionate with me. And I know she would try to make an effort to like, get like a relationship with me growing up, like during that time, but I just wasn't going for it. You know, all that resentment had built up for years and years and years and it, I finally, I just couldn't, I couldn't hold it in no more. And I had a, like, it was like a four hour conversation with my mom late at night, like on a school night. I remember had just got out of work. I was like 16 at the time. And I was just telling her, like, I just, I hate that you did this, I hate that you did that. And she started telling me, you know, well, you don't know about this, you don't know about that. And I'm like, oh, okay, I understand now. You know, maybe it was good that you guys never stuck it out and made me. It just felt good, you know, saying like, why I was so angry at you and addressing the problem, you know. And I feel like after that day, like the Stutter just completely went away. And I don't know what happened. But all of a sudden I started trying in school. I started like, I've never ever passed classes up into that year. Like it was my junior year and I don't know where. I just had straight A's. I don't know what happened, but I just started like not thinking about the past so much and the traumatic things. I just started, you know, just focusing on my future.
- [15:18]
Alan I.
Do you feel like now as an adult, does that trauma still trigger you or you're kind of like, I'm gonna let things be what they are and I'm not gonna carry that trauma with you, or is there still moments in your life now where you're like, there.
- [15:29]
Gabe
Is little moments like where I'll be at her house or something. Sometimes I go over there just to venture talked about, you know, what I'm going through in life, my problems and my stresses. Every couple of months I'll, you know, I'll go over there, have a little breakdown and we'll hug and I'm like, what am I doing? This is weird, you know, because there's still part of me that's like trying to have my guard up to not trust her. But I always remind myself, you know, that's. That's in the past now. You know, she's my mom and she's my friend too.
- [15:57]
Alan I.
If you're struggling with your mental health, you can spend hours browsing online forums, scrolling social media and reading expert advice to help you feel better. But while all these resources can be a good starting point, there's no replacement for real human relationships. It takes a real person to understand your human human experience. So don't rely on generic advice online or on social media. Instead, use Alma to find a person who understands all the things that make you you. That's why Alma makes it easy to connect with an expert therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through all your specific challenges. When you browse their online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you. Then book a free 15 minute consultation with the therapist you're interested in seeing. Unlike other online therapy platforms that match you with the person you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Uste estaben amigas. The rough couple of months. Que pasado hace mas de seis meses perdiama. Dealing with grief is really hard and confusing. I feel like my grieving process would have been smoother, but it's never too late to start therapy. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit helloalma.com Alan to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello, A L M A dot com. A L-A dash N that is hello, Alma dot com Alan. This episode of Noche de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals, and I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. I just got back from my trip from New York City, and let me just say, the hotel that I picked out through booking.com was amazing. And I'm actually so excited because a couple days ago I booked my hotel for my next trip. See? And booking.com makes it so easy for me to find the perfect hotel. And I wanted to make sure that the hotel we booked was right on the strip, that had a little bathtub. And one of the main things we were looking for was space. And with booking.com I was able to find the perfect hotel for our Vegas trip. I'm so excited that we were able to find the Perfect Hotel on booking.com in oppos to show you guys which one we ended up going with. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah. Do you feel like now as an adult, you're still closer to your dad?
- [19:02]
Gabe
I'm actually not as close as I used to be. I wish I was closer to him because my later teen years, I started having problems with him, you know, like, as soon as I fixed things with my mom, I started having a little, like, not hatred towards him, but a different point of view on him, you know? You know, me growing up and had my own car because I. I was working, so I had enough to, like, just do whatever I want. My own freedom, you know, I would ask, because I was mainly at his house majority of the time. Once I turned 16, I kind of had my own choice. Like, hey, do you want to live with your mom or your dad? And it was more convenient to stay with my dad because he was close to my school and my mom lived like 30 minutes away from where he lives. So I would stay with my dad and all my friends. Are around his neighborhood, you know, so I would want to go do things. And he'd be like, no, you can't. You got to be home at this time. And I'm like, like, I'm paying for all the things I want to do. Why are you trying to hold me back? You know? But it was just him just trying to keep me safe. But in my head, I'm like, you're holding me back.
- [19:51]
Alan I.
You're the enemy.
- [19:51]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [19:52]
Alan I.
You're holding me back from parent as the enemy.
- [19:54]
Gabe
Like, why can't I stay out till 12am with my friends bullshitting? You know, during that time, I was kind of, like, not seeing eye to eye with him and his girlfriend, too. I felt like they were trying to, like, control me or do this and that. In my head, I'm thinking, I'm grown. I have a job. My grades are good. I have my own car. I pay for it. You know, just let me do what I want to do. I'll come home. And when I need to come home and get my. You know, get my school, like, worry about y'all. Yeah.
- [20:16]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [20:16]
Gabe
That's how I felt. I felt like I'm doing everything I need to do. Why are you trying to, like, not let me have fun? You know? And it was weird because we would do a lot of things together, like just activities and stuff together, and I kind of had to find that with my friends now, you know, Like, I would come home, and he'd be like, where were you at? Or, what do you. What did you do today? And I would just be like, I was with my friends, you know, just being a little.
- [20:35]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [20:35]
Gabe
Having, like, closed off. Yeah.
- [20:37]
Alan I.
Like, you kind of wouldn't open up to him anymore.
- [20:39]
Gabe
Yeah, I wouldn't open up to him as much. Like, I said, I was in a relationship, and he would kind of tell me, you don't need to be in a relationship. You should be single. You're too young. Young. And I. When I'm in a relationship, I'm like a simp. I'll spend all my time with that girl. All my money on that girl. My whole life revolves around a girl when I'm in a relationship. And he would tell me, like, you're too invested in this. And I would take it, like, as. You just don't want me to be happy.
- [21:00]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [21:00]
Gabe
You just want me to be sad and stay home and be miserable.
- [21:03]
Alan I.
Do you feel like you got that from him, though? Like, the simping?
- [21:06]
Gabe
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. My dad is a simp. I'm not Gonna lie. And I think that's. That's how I learned how to love from him. It's also, like, a good thing, but it's also bad because when things don't work out, it feels like your whole world just falls apart. And we would have, like, fights, me and that girl. We'd argue about, like, stupid things, high school stuff, you know, And I would literally, like, start, like, stop. I was called off to work, or I would miss classes for the girl. Yeah. Like, it was bad, and, like, we're fighting. Yeah. My dad would tell me, like, you need to stop revolving your life around this girl. Like, this is bad. And I would just take it, like. Like, you just don't want to be happy.
- [21:39]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [21:39]
Gabe
You know, And I think girls were definitely my new. Not replacement, I'd say. But that relationship I had with my dad, I have it with these girls all my time, and everything was around them. And my dad would dedicate all of his time to us, whatever he could. And whenever he was free, he would take us out, you know, take us to the movies, do stuff with us, you know? So not having that relationship with him made me try to fill that.
- [22:00]
Alan I.
That void.
- [22:01]
Gabe
Yeah. With somebody else. And the only way I could think was, like, with the relationship.
- [22:05]
Alan I.
After your parents divorce, you kind of started working. Do you feel like the divor force almost made you, like, have to grow up quickly?
- [22:12]
Gabe
Yeah, because like I said, I had a weird relationship with my mom. And then I started having a. As I got older, matured, I started having a weird relationship with my dad. So I kind of just like, I need to do my own thing. I want to be my own adult. I want to move out. Like, I was trying to be grown. You know, I didn't need to be grown, but I was like, I need. As soon as I turn 18, I need to get out of this house. I'm gonna have my own job and do all these things. So, yeah, I was definitely trying to, like, distance myself from them because I started seeing my dad one way and my mom. Mom one way. And I was like, I can't trust either. In my head, I'm thinking, I can't trust these people. They don't know what's good for me. But, you know, obviously, you know, your parents always know what's best for you. But in my teenage head, I'm thinking, I know what's best.
- [22:47]
Alan I.
Like, they're stopping me.
- [22:48]
Gabe
Yeah. Yeah. They're holding me back. That's how it felt. Like, they're holding me back.
- [22:50]
Alan I.
Quentino San Poquito about your first job, you get hired at kfc. What made you be like, you know what, out of every job I'm gonna go to KFC and I'm gonna get hired. What was that process like when, that knows when you went to go drop off, you know, the application to the point that you got hired. And what was working at kfc? Like?
- [23:06]
Gabe
So I had friends who worked there and it was like kind of close to my school at the time and I didn't have a car so I was like, it's just convenient because my mom had like lived on that side and she would pick us up, you know, after school and she would take us to her house. So like it's convenient, she could drop me off and I'll just go back to her house after school. I applied, I got the job like right away. I was just thinking, all my friends work here, you know. And then they ended up moving me to a whole nother location. My friends weren't there so I was like at a brand new location. But it was even closer to my mom's house, like five minutes away. So it worked out either way. And then I started telling my friends at school like apply here bro, you'll get the job. They just opened up and I had like five different friends working there with me and we were, we were in trouble but we, we got everything done. But it was just, it was fun to work with my friends, you know, and I would look forward to going to work. The only thing I didn't like, you know, getting out late, like at 11, 12 o'clock.
- [23:54]
Alan I.
Were you like a cashier cook?
- [23:56]
Gabe
I was a cook, yeah. I worked in the bag. So I was just making chicken. I would like take food home every night. I was eating KFC every night. That was disgusting. I hate KFC now.
- [24:03]
Alan I.
Was there any like KFC drama at work?
- [24:06]
Gabe
Oh yeah, there was like little. I was in a relationship at the time but I would see like my friends flirting with that person, like having little work relationships. There'd be like older girls working there, like in their late 20s, sometimes even 40s, talking to my friends who are like 18, 19. It was, it was crazy. It was so weird.
- [24:22]
Alan I.
Did you guys ever have like a crazy ass customer encounter?
- [24:26]
Gabe
I was always in the back so I wouldn't see it and I would be. The days that I didn't work, you know, I would hear about it, but there was always something going on. People complaining that their food's taking too long. It was usually that because chicken takes like 20 minutes to fry, you know, so there would always be people complaining about something. I would just stay in the background. My business, I'll peek my head over like, what's going on?
- [24:44]
Alan I.
What the fuck's over there?
- [24:45]
Gabe
I would go up there and they're like, we need this. And I gotta turn around and go back there.
- [24:48]
Alan I.
Keep cooking about your life in high school, you know, cuentas that during that time you started working. But how were you, you know, when it came to school? Do you feel like you considered yourself like the shy, the popular, the revelede kid? Tell us a little more about your high school years.
- [25:02]
Gabe
When it came to school, I was very quiet and respectful. I wasn't. I wasn't one of those kids who was like arguing with teachers, being ghetto. I would just go to school. At least for my freshman sophomore year, I would just go to school and sleep. I would go in class and sleep, every class. Cuz I would be like high, you know, I would be smoking weed, being, you know, I mean, I was a rebel, but I wasn't like obvious about it, you know, I would just go to school and I would just like during those times, my freshman sophomore year, I did not care. I was just going to school because my parents, so they didn't get the call home, hey, he missed school today, you know. And I would get out of school and go do bad shit with my friends, stuff that we shouldn't have been doing. And it got pretty bad. It got pretty serious. You know, we were getting into a lot of trouble and you know, doing things that we didn't need to be doing and meeting other kids and just kind of getting too deep into things, like kids who do the same things we're doing at other schools. And it got pretty bad. It wasn't until, you know, I got in my relationship and started working that I was like distancing myself a little bit. And I started seeing those friends getting like locked up, getting in trouble. And I was still friends with them, but like from a distance, you know. And I would, you know, how you doing, bro? Just text people every now and then, oh, this person got locked up. Did you hear? This person got shot? And I was like, yeah, it's getting pretty bad, you know, like. So I was like, I need to keep, you know, keep myself away from people like this. And being with that girl definitely helped me not be around it as much.
- [26:17]
Alan I.
How did you get introduced to like the smoking? Was it something that, like, just with you and your friends, you're like, oh, here, smoke this. And you're like, oh, fuck it. How was that?
- [26:25]
Gabe
I think it was, like, in eighth grade. I don't even know. We were just. I was at the. Because I'd always be out, you know, walking. Walking around my friends, going over to my friend's house, and one of my friends was doing it, and he asked if I wanted to try it. And I just said, you know, fuck it. I'll do it. Yeah. And, I mean, it wasn't something that I was, like, hooked on or anything. I just tried it. Didn't really think too much about it. Never did it again. And up until my freshman year, they had, like, came out with, like, cards and all that stuff, so it was easier to, you know, get high and hide it, you know, without having to be smoking.
- [26:54]
Alan I.
Like, did your parents ever catch you?
- [26:56]
Gabe
Yeah, they did. They did cut me. I remember I got caught with, like, an ounce of weed one time. They had found it underneath my bed. I had, like, a whole jar full of it. I was so stupid. I think I had went. I had went on a cabin trip with my friends and his family, and I was gone for the weekend. And I remember as soon as I got service, because we're, like, in the middle of nowhere. I look at my phone, and I see my dad had texted me, hey, when you get home, we need to talk.
- [27:18]
Alan I.
You're like, fuck. I already knew it.
- [27:19]
Gabe
Yeah. I already knew what it was. I'm like, I'm about to do to pack my bags and get out tonight. I remember it was, like, the scariest thing ever. But my dad was just telling me, like, why are you doing this? You know, like, he was like, you're selling it. Probably you're doing this. And I was like, I'm not selling it. I was selling it. It was bad. And. But it wasn't like I was, like, a drug dealer or anything.
- [27:37]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [27:37]
Gabe
It was just like a friend. Hey, I need this. And I'm like, I got you. I'll give you this, you know? But it was pretty bad. Like, that made. That also started the hatred towards my dad, you know, because he had, like, told me, you can't hang out with this person no more. You can't. You got to come home straight from school. You can't be out, you know? And that's why I was like, as soon as I can get a job, I'm gonna get a job and do it the right way, you know, Trying.
- [27:57]
Alan I.
To cut, like, your bad influence.
- [27:58]
Gabe
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And I was like, I'm gonna get a job and do it the Right way. So you can't tell me nothing, you know. And then I got with that girl, like I said, and she definitely helped me keep me out of trouble for.
- [28:06]
Alan I.
Do you feel like your friends played a big role in like the bad influencer? Was it something that you're like, you know what, I'm the bad influence?
- [28:12]
Gabe
I think I was. There is times where I was the bad fluence. I'm not gonna blame them for anything because. Because I did see some stuff, you know, growing up with my cousins and seeing family members do stuff. So it's not like it was completely new to see drugs or anything. It was something I've been introduced to at a young age. So I wouldn't say that my friends, it was just, we're all doing it, let's do it together.
- [28:33]
Alan I.
I had a brother. Well, I have a brother like you. I am the smallest. I have a sister above me and then two older brothers. And one of my oldest brothers got caught multiple times with weed. One time we caught him smoking in our backyard with an apple. Threw it over to the neighbor's house and my mom went to the neighbor's house to retrieve this apple. Like imagine going to your neighbor's house and like, hey, we threw an apple over. Can we go get the apple? Like go buy another apple. But it was cuz my mom wanted to see what the hell he was smoking. And I feel like for me being the youngest, it kind of like I saw my brothers and my sisters just kind of go through it and I feel like that kind of like put this thing in my head. Like, you know what? Like maybe don't do that. Cuz I didn't try alcohol or weed until I was over 21.
- [29:17]
Gabe
Oh really?
- [29:18]
Alan I.
I used to have this thing where I was so traumatized because I was like, oh my God. Like I saw my brothers go through that. Did you have siblings?
- [29:25]
Gabe
Yeah, I have a. I have an older sister. Me and her half, half related. So we have two different moms, but she. My dad had her when he was 15, so he had her when he was really young. I think he got his girlfriend at the time pregnant at 14 and the baby was at 15. So I had her. She's like, I think four years older than me. And then I have my younger brother who's four years younger than me as well. And then I have a step sibling there that's my dad's now, you know, girlfriend. She was I think eight years younger than me. So. So I definitely was like the bad kid, you know, that scared Even. Yeah. I think it even influenced my older sister. Like, I'm not gonna be like him. And I went to school with my sister. Like, we went to the same high school and stuff. I think when I was a freshman, she was a senior. So she would see me, you know, at school, looking all high and being with little troublemakers, like, that ain't my brother, literally. And then I know her friends would tell me, like, isn't that your brother? Or, I heard your brother's doing this and stuff. And my. My sister would know about it. I feel like she definitely snitched on me or said something to my dad to give him an idea, planted some seeds in the. Give him an idea to go and look in my room and find that, you know, but, you know, my. All my siblings are, like, squeaky clean compared to me.
- [30:31]
Alan I.
Do you feel like you had a good relationship with them overall, or was it kind of just like everyone growing up at their own pace?
- [30:37]
Gabe
Yeah, everyone growing up at their own pace. Yeah. Because as soon as I think I was out, before I was out of the house, before my sister was. I know my brother. He's barely 18 right now, and he's. He's working. He has a girlfriend. He's getting good grades. He's doing the complete opposite, you know, like, and. But I still have, like, a cool relationship with him.
- [30:53]
Alan I.
But, like, does your brother go to you to, like, for advice and stuff like that?
- [30:56]
Gabe
Yeah, sometimes, but. But during my, like, late teen years, I was, like, just on my own. No one could tell me anything. I'm just doing my own thing. So I know that I definitely got really distanced with all. Not just my parents, but even with my siblings. When I was, like, 16, 17, 18, you know, I kind of just went out to do my own thing, and.
- [31:11]
Alan I.
I feel like it happens, you know, I feel like. Me, too. Like, it kind of is sad. Like, you grow up with your siblings, your parents, all your life, and I think for me, the reason why I kind of distance myself has to do with trauma. Like, I feel like I try to get away from things that trigger me, and a lot of the time, that is my family. So I'm kind of like, I want to love you guys from afar. Pero if you're struggling with your mental health, you can spend hours browsing online forums, scrolling social media, and reading expert advice to help you feel better. But while all these resources can be a good starting point, there's no replacement for real human relationships. It takes a real person to understand your human experience. So don't rely on generic advice advice online or on social media. Instead, use ALMA to find a person who understands all the things that make you you. That's why ALMA makes it easy to connect with an expert therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through all your specific challenges. When you browse their online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you. Then book a free 15 minute consultation with the therapist you're interested in seeing. Unlike other online therapy platforms that match you with the first available person you can find, find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Uste estaben amigas. The rough couple of months. Que pasado hace mas de seis mes esperac parapia. Dealing with grief is really hard and confusing. I feel like my grieving process would have been been smoother, but it's never too late to start therapy. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com Allen to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com a l a n that is hello Alma.com Allen about how you started on social media. Ovia mentorita all over the for you page. But it wasn't always like that. Tell us a little bit about what motivated you to get started on social media and what it was like in your early stages of content creating.
- [33:31]
Gabe
Ever since I was like a little kid, I've always wanted to be a YouTuber. I think since I was like 11, I used to just watch gaming YouTubers and vloggers and I looked up to all these people. I'd say definitely a big like role model. To me it was ricegum. I don't know if you know who that is.
- [33:44]
Alan I.
Yes. So I was like, does he do things anymore? I don't think so.
- [33:48]
Gabe
I don't know. But I had like had like interaction with him like a couple years ago and I literally felt like like to me, I felt like I met like your idol. I remember like 2016, 2015. I was like, I want to be a vlogger. I want to make diss tracks. But I never did it. But I just knew that I always wanted to do like social media. Like I don't know what it was going to be, but I wanted to be famous for something and be entertaining. You know, I think it wasn't until I was 16, 17 TikTok had got big like in 2020 I think it was. And I had seen all these people going like viral for like this dumbest Things, you know and I was like I kind of understand how the algorithm works. I think I could be famous myself. During that time I think I was yeah, 16, 17. I was working two full time jobs because I had dropped out during quarantine because the girl that I was with during that time I had a, we had like a little accident. I had got her pregnant and I didn't know how to tell my parents and she didn't know how to tell her parents so we were both scared and kind of just kept it to ourselves. And I know that my dad had told me all the time growing up, up, if you get a girl pregnant and you're living under my roof you're out of here. Cuz he had a kid at like 15 and he went through that his, I think his mom had kicked him out and he ever since then he was kind of like his own parent. So I was always scared, you know, to tell my dad so I just kept it to myself and I told them hey, I think I'm just going to get my GED and you know I'm going to work two full time jobs and just work my ass off. And during that time I was saving up so when the day comes and the baby's out and I have to tell them yeah I can afford to.
- [35:18]
Alan I.
Live on my, to go through the whole pregnancy not even mention a thing.
- [35:21]
Gabe
Yeah literally. Cuz I was so scared. I did not, I did not want to tell my dad or my mom, she didn't want to tell her parents either. And I was just like I'm going to try to save up as much money as I can till the day comes he kicks me out and like I said I had this plan in my head. It's pretty dumb plan but to my 16 year old mind I'm thinking like this is going to work, I'll figure it out. You know I'm working two jobs that are paying me like $12 an hour. Sometimes it'll give me overtime time but I was working both of them full time and I'm only 16 years old and I had saved up like a bunch of money, like a couple thousand. I think it was like $13,000 and that's a lot to have, that's a.
- [35:55]
Alan I.
Lot of money for a kid for.
- [35:57]
Gabe
Working, you know, just working a job. And I was thinking like this should be enough to get me into an apartment or something or maybe I can get an older friend and be like hey co sign or something, you know, help me get this apartment. I think it was about three months in to our three or four months in, she had a miscarriage. And we didn't really know what was going on. We didn't understand, like, she was just saying that she was bleeding a lot and it wouldn't stop, you know. And it went on, I think. I think she had bled out, like, for like a month. She said, like, she had, like, it was like a period.
- [36:22]
Alan I.
And at that time, you guys didn't even tell her parents or.
- [36:24]
Gabe
No, we didn't.
- [36:25]
Alan I.
So you guys were just kind of.
- [36:26]
Gabe
Going through all that by yourself, going through it. And it was hard on her, and it was hard on me too. And we both, like. We, like, we're too young to understand, you know, like even how the body works, you know, but it was bad for our relationship too. It caused a lot of problems. It made her super, like, insecure. And I was constantly have to reassure her, you know, I'm not going nowhere. I'm here to stay. And I told her, you know, I'm gonna do social media because I want to make some extra money, you know. And during that time, I was thinking, you know, I could do social media. If it makes me some side income, I can keep stacking up, you know, and maybe, you know, I'll be able to afford to live on our own, you know. And that was my motivation to do social media because I was like, I need to do something now because my grades were too bad to get into college and my GPA was terrible. And, you know, no one in my family has ever been to college or, like, graduated from. I don't think my parents even graduated from high school. So in my head, I'm thinking, you know, there's only one way but, like a job, a 9 to 5 job. But I'm thinking, you know, social media might be my thing. I might be able to make it out with this and make a living off of it. And literally my first TikTok I posted, I got 10,000 followers. First day.
- [37:30]
Alan I.
The first one, do you remember what it was?
- [37:32]
Gabe
It was so stupid. It was like a trend. It was way back then to. To be what you look like before quarantine. And during quarantine. It was like four months into quarantine.
- [37:41]
Alan I.
Okay, Was it like those, like, when people would gain weight? Because I'm like, I think I posted one of those too, because I gained.
- [37:47]
Gabe
80 pounds during quarantine. Everybody was doing those. Yeah, but I did it, like, as a joke. I showed, like, me. And because I was in high school at the time, like, it was like a video of me and like the bathroom at high school and like looking in the mirror. And then it cuts to a video where I have this like, like Botox lip filler, like high, like high cheekbone filter on and like, like it was just to be funny, you know. And it had like got like couple hundred, I think a couple hundred thousand views, you know. And I got like 10k off of that. And in my head like I'm thinking like, I'm gonna be rich one day. Like off of this, you're like, when.
- [38:15]
Alan I.
Do I move to la?
- [38:16]
Gabe
Yeah, I moved to la.
- [38:18]
C
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- [39:21]
Alan I.
You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba da ba ba ba.
- [39:34]
Gabe
Imagine what's possible when learning doesn't get in the way of life.
- [39:37]
Alan I.
At Capella University, our game changing flexpath.
- [39:40]
Gabe
Learning format lets you set your own deadline so you can learn at a.
- [39:43]
Alan I.
Time and pace that works for you.
- [39:45]
Gabe
It's an education you can tailor to your schedule. That means you don't have to put.
- [39:49]
Alan I.
Your life on hold to pursue your professional goals.
- [39:52]
Gabe
Instead, enjoy learning your way and earn your degree without missing a beat.
- [39:56]
Alan I.
A different future is closer than you.
- [39:58]
Gabe
Think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella. Edu and I think within like my first month of being on TikTok, I just kept making like, just funny videos, you know, like skits, point of view videos. And I had got to like 30k. I think within my first month of doing TikTok and in my head I'm all like big headed about it, you know, because people from my school would be like, dang, congratulations. And that's like being, like, famous. Yeah. Having 30k, so it meant so much to me. And then I don't know where I get banned from posting something for what I think I had put something in the caption that was like, inappropriate, like a cuss word or something. Or it was like suggestive. It said, like, suggestive content or something. Like, I don't know. And I was. My world fell apart. I was like, I gotta start all over again. I started all over within like six months of a new account. Account. I got to like 150k. So that was like a new high for me. Then I got banned for the same thing. I did it again, got to another account within like a month. I had like 50k. Then I got banned again. And I'm just like, oh, I could do it. I've done it already three times. I can do it. Like, I got it now.
- [41:02]
Alan I.
Did that dismotivate you, though? Because I would have given up.
- [41:06]
Gabe
It would. It definitely would. I had lost that account. And I think when it was like, like I had told myself, you know, I did 150k, I've done 50k. I add it all up, I basically accumulated like 200,000 followers. If I was to still have. Still have these accounts, you know, and this is back in 2020, early 2021. During that time, like I said, I was still with that girl and she would. I was private about her because, like, 80% of my following was females. So I know that if I was to say I have a girlfriend, they would all just probably leave, you know, And I didn't know how to introduce her to social media and she didn't want to do social media. So I was kind of just doing it on my own. And that would. That was really hard for, you know, seeing that, you know, we're in high school, all these girls like, your boyfriend and no one knows that you're dating him. And I know she would tell me because she was still in school. There's girls talking about you right in front of me, saying, have you seen him? He's so cute. You know, he used to go to this school. And she'd be so pissed off.
- [42:02]
Alan I.
She's like, that's my man.
- [42:03]
Gabe
Yeah. Literally, she would tell me, like, this shit pisses me off so much much. Why don't you say. Or like, why don't you post me? And I'm like, I don't want to post you. Because at the time, too, it was during, like, the Whole, you know, miscarriage thing. And that. That definitely made it very hard for her. Like, I would have to always reassure her, and she always thought I was cheating on her, and I never was, you know, But I know that it made her very, like, yeah, emotional, you know, and it just caused a lot of problems in relationship because I was constantly, like, reassuring her. And it. It got to a point where I was like, I don't know what else I can tell you. You got my location, you got my passwords, you know where I'm at. I'm always with you. You know, I spend all my time and money, money with you. If I'm not working, I'm with you, you know, and it just got so draining, you know, to the, like, point where I was like, you know, I'm gonna just, like, back off, back off. Because no matter what I'm doing, I'm working, you know, I'm with my family. You're just thinking that I'm out or doing something with somebody or there's something going on, and I'm just gonna focus on my work, you know. But I still made time for her. Like, I was always with her, you know, whenever, on the weekends, taking her out, you know, doing little cute things for her until the point where she started stuff like saying like, I know you're cheating on me.
- [43:05]
Alan I.
I'm cuz you're doing too much.
- [43:06]
Gabe
Cuz I would literally be like, I'm at work. I like, I'm cooking chicken right now, you know, I'm literally working. And she'd be like, well, then there's someone at work that you're cheating on me with.
- [43:16]
Alan I.
And I'm like, you're like, who's that in the back? That's my coworker.
- [43:18]
Gabe
That's my manager. Like, and she'll be like, oh, this girl, this and that girl. I don't know. It was just so toxic. It got so bad, you know, And I was always getting accused of cheating and I wasn't, you know.
- [43:29]
Alan I.
Do you feel like that happened because of the miscarriage or was the relationship always kind of toxic?
- [43:35]
Gabe
I got toxic. I don't know why, but in high school, no one really, like, girls weren't really attracted to me, you know, up until I got into a relationship, it was weird. All of a sudden they liked me, you know, And I think that would, like, bother her a lot too. And so even before, you know, the whole miscarriage thing in the pregnancy, she was still, like, kind of, like accused me of things, but I was getting older, so I Had more freedom, you know, I wasn't in school anymore, so I would go out, out after working, you know, I'll get out at 11 o'clock at night and my friends would be like, oh, let's go to the park and, yeah, smoke, or let's drink at my house. And I'll be like, yeah. And it would just be me and the boys, you know, just hanging out. But I understand, you know, like, she probably thinks I'm out there. It happened so much that I started thinking, like, she's probably doing these things because she's in school still, you know, she probably has guy friends. And now to find something out, you know, she's friends with that guy. And we're kids, you know, so we're so insecure, like, you can't have a friend, you can't be around a guy, you know, so it would just drive me insane. And she would be going insane because I'm working at a job that has a girl there, you know, and it was just so bad. It was unhealthy. We were breaking up. Like every other week we're together and we love each other and then we hate each other. And I feel like the miscarriage definitely made her a lot more emotional and so easy to leave me and walk away from me. And I was always begging, you know, come back. Let's make it work. And I had did that for, like, almost, like almost a year that I was begging, you know, like always trying to fix things to the point where I was like, why am I doing this? You know, Like.
- [44:56]
Alan I.
Like, it's not worth it.
- [44:57]
Gabe
It's not worth it. Yeah. And during that time when we were always, always trying to fix things, I started getting a little bit more popularity because I had blew up, I'd say, like, it was around springtime, I think it was, of 2021. I blew up because of. I don't know if you remember this. It was so long ago, this thing called Adrian's Kickback.
- [45:14]
Alan I.
Oh, yes. Yes, huh?
- [45:16]
Gabe
Yeah. So a lot of that had to do, like, because of me. You probably don't remember. A lot of people don't remember because it was so old. It was on account. That's gone now, you know. But I had seen the flyer when it was like, so small. Maybe like 10k viewers.
- [45:27]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [45:27]
Gabe
And I was going to go out there that weekend because my friend, he was. He was like, making music at the time. His name's Dom Corleo.
- [45:33]
Alan I.
Was it the one that was at the beach?
- [45:35]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [45:35]
Alan I.
Okay.
- [45:36]
Gabe
Yeah. He was making music at the time, and he had to meet with some, like, record label or manager, and he was like, I'm gonna go out there. Let's drive together. So I had told my three, like, lifelong friends, Troy, Felix, and Sergio, hey, like, let's all go to Cali. At the time, one of my closest friends, Troy. I have known these guys since I was, like, in second grade. We have been inseparable. Always hanging out with each other, playing the game with each other, sleeping at each other's houses. You know, we're, like, always together at school. These are, like my best friends, you know, like, since the beginning. And I told him, hey, let's all go to California together, make this trip. And then I had seen the party thing, and I'm like, oh, yeah, we need to go to that, you know? So I made a TikTok about it because I had, like, a little, you know, had a little following at the time, like, saying I was going to be there, there. And then that went, like, viral. I think I like a million views. And that was, like. That was, like a pretty, like, high for me at the time, you know? And everybody associated Adrian's kickback because they didn't know what he looked like. And they were saying I was Adrian. So I was just like, you're the face.
- [46:31]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [46:31]
Gabe
I was like, it. I'm gonna just.
- [46:32]
Alan I.
It is my kickback.
- [46:34]
Gabe
So I just kept posting about it, and I was like, I made him. I remember I made a tick tock saying that I was gonna drive up there, and people were like, you're stupid. Driving all the way to California for a party. That's dumb. Stay in Phoenix. And I was like, I remember at the next video was like, I'm gonna get a bus. I'm gonna rent a bus, and I'm gonna drive everybody from A to Cali. Was it. I think it was in Huntington Park. I think it was.
- [46:54]
Alan I.
Yeah, I think it was Huntington Beach, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [46:57]
Gabe
I think when I was on the way up there, I had seen a bus in the middle of the desert, driving. I posted like, look, I told y'all we got a bus, and everybody was going crazy. Like, they believed it, you know, And I was just trolling, being funny money, and, you know, I had made tick tocks. Like, me and my friends in the car were going, you know, catch us over there. And then that same night, we didn't even end up going to the actual Adrian's kickback on the beach because my friend Dom was like, there's this sick party, and this rapper is going to be there. It's in Calabasas. And I was like, all right, we'll go. But everywhere I was going that weekend out there, everyone would just swarm me. Like, even now, like, who I am, I don't get, like, crowded as much, you know? Like, people ask me for a picture here and there, but it was like 20 people coming up to me and, like, grabbing me, trying to take pictures of me.
- [47:41]
Alan I.
Was that, like, your I made it moment?
- [47:42]
Gabe
It felt like it. Yeah, it felt like it. And I remember at the time that my friend who was with me, Troy, he had just got done doing, like, a year and a half in jail on juvenile, and I used to write him letters, and I had told him, like, hey, I'm doing TikTok. I just, you know, since the beginning, I made this much followers. I'm making money now off of this. And I told him, like, when you get out of jail, you know, we're going to be in Hollywood living it up. I'm going to be like, in my head, I had this idea I'm going to be a celebrity. And it actually, like. I mean, I wasn't a celebrity, but it worked out because the week, like, our. Like, two weeks before he got out of jail or two weeks after he got a jail, we go to California. I bring him with me, so I go to Cali, and I'm getting treated like a celebrity. So I felt like everything I manifested was, like, coming true, you know, we're in the hills, you know, like, living like celebrities, you know, and he was, like, being, like my bodyguard everywhere I was at. And it felt cool that I had, like, my day one friends with me, you know, and we didn't end up going to the. The. What is it? Adrian's Kickback. We went to some, like, Hollywood where.
- [48:36]
Alan I.
Your followers, like, asking, like, where the Are you?
- [48:39]
Gabe
Yeah, literally people were asking me, like, where you at? Tagging me and all kinds of things. And I had seen there was, like, riots there, there was cops there. And I was like, good thing I didn't go. You know, it would have been more.
- [48:47]
Alan I.
Chaotic, too, especially since you were, like, promoting it. They would have been like, he's right there.
- [48:51]
Gabe
I probably would have been doing dumb shit, you know, and good thing I didn't go. And then the next day, after all that drama had happened, there was. I guess there was, like, cops at the beach. Beach and stuff. Are you familiar with Cool Kicks? Have you ever heard of them? It's like a shoe store.
- [49:04]
Alan I.
Oh, yes, yes. Like, where they resell the shoes.
- [49:07]
Gabe
Yeah, they had messaged me on Instagram saying that they're gonna get a venue and call it Adrian's Kickback, because, like, nothing went planned. They wanted the actual party. And they said, we're working with the actual Adrian and his friends. And we got these. I think they said, like, Bryce hall was going to be there. And Bryce hall was big, like, in 2021, you know, and I think they said little Mosi, you know, that is. I don't know if you heard him.
- [49:29]
Alan I.
Is he the older bald guy?
- [49:31]
Gabe
No, no. You never heard that song Blueberry Fago? No, it was a old Tik Tok, like, song back then. But I think they said he was going to be there and, like, some other, like, rappers are going to be there. And I was like, I'm going to be with celebrities in my head, you know? So I didn't even ask questions about payment or money or anything. I was just like, I just need to be on that stage. That's all. I want to be around these famous people, you know? And they're like, yeah, we're going to sell tickets at our store. Can you promote for us? I didn't even question it. I was like, I got you. So I made a TikTok a Yo, everybody, buy your tickets tonight. They're having a venue party, you know, and everyone goes to Cool Kicks. I pull up to Cool Kicks and there's like, everybody's like, yo, you know, trying to take pictures of me. I buy tickets myself, you know. Yeah. To the event. And then they have like a code or something on it. They're, like, saying that they're gonna send out the address like, 20 minutes before a certain time. So I meet with, like, some of the guys who are throwing it in a parking lot, and they give me the address. I pull up to the spot. It's like some, like, looks like a warehouse kind of area. I don't know, somewhere in la. I get there and I'm like, nobody's here. Out of nowhere, like, a bunch of cars start parking and pulling up. And I think I was, like, wondering, like, what's going on? You know, like, how am I gonna get on stage? Like, I just need to get in there. I don't know. I see, like, a big flat, like, flashlight, just like. What is it called? A spotlight.
- [50:43]
Alan I.
Yeah, on us.
- [50:44]
Gabe
I look up and I see, like, a helicopter. I look to my left and just, like, a SWAT team of riot ship fields. And they're, like, throwing, like, I think, gases or something at us. And everybody Just starts running. I remember getting in the car. We just left. And I went ahead.
- [50:57]
Alan I.
Like, scared at that moment, you're like, oh, what's going on?
- [50:59]
Gabe
Yeah. I was. I was like, am I getting in trouble for something? Or, like, what's going on? And then I know me and my friends just went and had some food, and I remember. I think we had drink and stuff. And then I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to, like, so much mentions. People are saying I scammed them. And they were saying I robbed them from for 40 bucks because the event didn't end up happening because the cops were there, you know? So everybody was saying, like, I want my money back. And I'm like, I don't have your money. They have your money.
- [51:25]
Alan I.
You know what's funny? I think I remember this, but I didn't know exactly. It was.
- [51:29]
Gabe
I had, like, long, curly blue hair. I could. If I had videos. I do.
- [51:32]
Alan I.
Guys, send it over. We'll put it right here. What the hell? And they'll all be like, scammers. Yes.
- [51:37]
Gabe
Yes. Everybody was calling me a scammer.
- [51:38]
Alan I.
You're like, bitch, I bought my own ticket.
- [51:40]
Gabe
I did a video saying, like, I paid to be here, too. Like, what are you talking about? And then. And then I think they had released something out, like, on Cool Kicks, like, on their IG saying, like, everyone who bought a ticket, come back. We'll refund you money. And people were saying, like, I think over, like, a certain amount of tickets were sold that they think I made, I think, 40 or $80,000 in ticket sales that night. And I was like, I literally have lint in my pocket. What are you talking about? Like, I came to cali with, like, $300 in my friends, you know, and everybody was just accusing me of, like, scamming them. And that was, like, my first ever scandal. So at that time, everybody just know me for that and hated me, you know?
- [52:15]
Alan I.
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- [53:30]
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- [54:34]
Alan I.
During the time you started doing social media, you know, you had, you and your girl at the time had a miscarriage. I want to know a little bit about how you felt in the guy perspective. What was the whole thing like for you?
- [54:46]
Gabe
Well, it definitely felt like everything I had been working for was like 10 for nothing. You know, I felt like, you know, we both, we knew we weren't ready. We were so young, you know, and it felt like, okay, well now she can plan on going to college and stuff. So I know that for her it was hard on her body for sure. But I know we both, we weren't ready for it. You know, we were so young and I think it kind of just made us like realize we're so young. Why are we so like, were we treated like we're like we're married and we're 16, 15? I think she was younger than me by a year. So she was 15 and I was 16. 16. And we're like acting like a married couple. I think we realized how young we were from that because we are not ready to be adults. I was growing up and she was still in high school and I was kind of like starting to see like I don't think this is healthy for either of us. And she wasn't mature enough to realize, yeah, fighting constantly and the constant reassuring is not healthy. Like we're not going to get nowhere, you know, in this relationship. And I know it was definitely harder on her than it was for me because it just made her very like insecurity, you know, she thought I was gonna leave her. And I kept telling her I'm not going nowhere. You know, I'm working still, I'm still doing what I've been doing. I'm not going nowhere. You know, don't, don't trip. I'm gonna be here always. But it made her so like scared and she was constantly thinking I was gonna leave her that she felt. She was like, I'm gonna leave him first, you know, I'm gonna break his heart.
- [56:03]
Alan I.
So she left you?
- [56:04]
Gabe
Yeah, she would leave me. Like, like I said like every week she would leave me and I would you know, show up to her doors with flowers or sending I'll be blocked texting her on another number through email. I would send like, like $5 through cash app with a note. Cuz you couldn't block me on cash app. Say like let's work this out. You know I'm gonna come to your house.
- [56:23]
Alan I.
I love you.
- [56:23]
Gabe
I love you. Yeah, I'm nothing without you. And it was to the point where I was like, I remember being like suicidal over this girl. It was so bad cuz like I said, it was like my, my whole world was revolved around here at the time. And then I didn't really know like what love was cuz I was so young.
- [56:37]
Alan I.
Was that like your first love?
- [56:38]
Gabe
Yeah, I was. I'd say that was my first love. It was a learning experience for sure. Sure. Because I don't think that we actually loved each other. I think we just got attached to each other.
- [56:47]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [56:47]
Gabe
And I was going through all that traumatic stuff with my dad at the time. So I got it. Like I said, I got attached to her. So she was like my friend I would have been to. And I got very close to her. We kind of like trauma bond because she was going through stuff too. And then we got so like close. It was unhealthy. For each other, you know, I feel.
- [57:02]
Alan I.
Like that happens a lot, especially you know, in teens. A lot of the time you get so tied up to like, oh, this is gonna be my forever. But sometimes, sometimes it isn't like that. You know, sometimes we're too small, we're too young to understand that like, you know, we're children. And like you said, you guys were already treating it like a marriage and it was like, no, you know, about your social media, you know, Obia mente, you've been doing social media. Do you feel like social media in any way has affected your mental health?
- [57:33]
Gabe
Oh yeah, for sure. It's made me so like self conscious about it. Everything I think about everything I'm doing. Like, I feel like anytime I remember when I was single, I can't talk to this girl because I'm scared she's gonna post me or I can't be single comfortably without people thinking, you know, if I follow this girl, they're gonna, they're talking, they're talking. Yeah. Or if I'm. If this girl I would tell people like, don't post me, please don't post me. I don't want people attacking you or thinking weird thing because then I gotta go along with it or shut it down, you know. And I just rather not do it. So. So it just made me feel like I had, I wasn't as big, you know, I was still very small, like only 100k, 150k. But I was known like around my city, like Phoenix, Arizona, you know, people would recognize me because I was going out to parties and stuff. So it made me like very cautious. Like, you know, I can't drink too much. I gotta be like more responsible because people might be recording me or post me and I don't want to look, you know, bad on the Internet at all. And it just made me super. I just had to be careful about, anxious about every.
- [58:31]
Alan I.
Your surroundings too, like making sure.
- [58:33]
Gabe
Yeah. Because you just never know. You could be close with someone and they could say, oh, I know everything about them and I'll go tell you. Tell your whole life story on the Internet. So it did make me very self conscious and just, I mean, it's a good thing. It made me like chill out a little bit.
- [58:47]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [58:47]
Gabe
You know, be careful who you surround yourself with. But it also made me super insecure because if your views aren't what they used to be.
- [58:54]
Alan I.
Yeah, yeah.
- [58:54]
Gabe
You feel like there's something wrong with you and you get like, am I not funny? Am I not good looking?
- [58:59]
Alan I.
Am I a flop? Am I flopping? Tell us a little bit about what it's like. You know, we've seen. I was mentioning to you, I see you a lot on the clips. You know, I see the comments sometimes and I'm like, oh, shit, they're going in. How do you react? And how do you, you know, take the negative criticism online or when people are talking shit, does that affect you or do you just kind of ignore it? What do you, how do you deal with that?
- [59:23]
Gabe
Now I'll just post and I just, I just won't look at my phone. I just refuse to look at comments and anything. And my for you page is not influencers. I just see straight like memes, cats, dogs. So I like, I'm so lucky to have that. But I know that other people see me. Like my mom will send me, like, why are people being saying this about you? That's not true. Or my friends would be like, what do you think about this? And I'm like, honestly, I never seen that before. But back then I would be always in my mentions trying to see everything. And I learned just stop looking at it. Just post. And people are always going to have this idea of you. Like they have their mind made up. And I know that they don't know who I am. They don't know my intentions are the story behind me, you know, So I just kind of like people are just going to think whatever at the end of the day, you know, as long as I know I'm not hurting anybody or like doing something that's really bad, I just, I just think it's all entertainment at the end of the day.
- [60:12]
Alan I.
I know you do a lot of content with like the same amount of boys. Zavala, Eric, how did you guys all meet?
- [60:18]
Gabe
Edwin doing. He's gonna hate me for this, but I've been, like I said, I've been doing tick tock since 2021 and I've been on different accounts. And he's like followed me since then.
- [60:26]
Alan I.
Okay.
- [60:26]
Gabe
And he used to be actual like viewer, like, like 20 followers private account. And every day when I would go. Because I would go live way back in 2021, 2022, and he would come in like every day to make it a thing to send me a little $0.01 gift. And I'd be like, Edwin, thank you for the ice cream. Thank you for your pennies. Just messing with him, you know. And I got to the point where I started like texting him, like, how you doing, bro? You know, he would swipe up on My stories. I followed him and I remember he used to pay me to do IG story promos. Like 20 bucks.
- [60:53]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [60:54]
Gabe
And I'd post him like, I got you bro. And I'd be like, everyone follow this guy. I would text him like, bro, you should do social media one day, you know. And he'd be like, yeah, maybe, you know, And I'd be like, you're funny. Like through text, you know, like maybe you're funny on camera, you know, you should do it. And I got like kind of close to him in let's say 2022. We would text a lot, like during the summertime time. Then I. I kind of stopped talking to him. And it wasn't till 2024. I know. I think he started doing tik tok in 2023. He would do like videos of him doing like money spreads and stuff. And I'm like, oh, that's Edwin. You know, like good for him. And I would see him get like 50K. And I'm like, damn, that's crazy. You know. But he didn't really get past like 50k. I think he would get banned all the time and he would go live and get banned. So I don't really think too much of it. But I was still happy for him. And it wasn't until 2024, I think, think like springtime I started seeing him live with like Dkane and Lalo and all these people. And I'm like, okay, he's getting up there. Yeah, he's doing good. And I already had my live like popping summer phase. And 2023 summer I got like, I blew up to like from 100k to a million in like a month off of. Yeah, so I had like my little viral phase already. So I was seeing him coming up. I'm like, oh, good for him, you know. And I was kind of known a little bit. And I would like text him, you know, like, hey, let's go live. Let's, let's do something, you know. And then, then we had went live a couple times, but it was kind of awkward. Like we didn't really know what to talk about or do with each other.
- [62:12]
Alan I.
And Cuz you guys didn't know each other in person.
- [62:14]
Gabe
Yeah, we didn't know each other in person. He lived in a whole another state. But we know about it. You know, we've been KN about each other. We've been like tapped in with each other. And then I had seen a couple times on my for you Paid and he had like 10k followers and I, like, at the time, I already had like, a million, you know, so aad, I would join aad's live, and I would send him, like, galaxies because I would see him, like, doing his thing and he would kind of do what we would do, like the thirst traps, the lives, you know? And I'm like, oh, yeah, well, maybe one day he'll be famous. I was investing in him pretty much. Like, you believed in him.
- [62:42]
Alan I.
I did, yeah. You saw something.
- [62:44]
Gabe
I saw something in him for sure. Like, this kid's gonna be famous one day. I know he is. With, like, his mentality and his energy, you know? And I would, like, tap, like, type in his lives, like, keep going, bro. And he'd be like, what's some advice you'd give to me, Gabe? Like, I would tell him, like, just go live every day. Go live every day in the summertime. Feel like in the summertime, lives are definitely really big. So I told him, like, when this summer comes around 2024, go live every single day, post every day, be consistent. Like, two months later, I'd say, this was in April when I started talking to a. I think it was two months later, I started seeing him go up to, like, 100k, and I'm like, oh, yeah, he's gonna get famous. He went from like 100k to like a million in a month.
- [63:23]
Alan I.
Oh, yeah.
- [63:24]
Gabe
And I was like, I knew it. I knew it. But back in April, when I had first talked to him, when he had like 10k, I told. I told him, hey, you should come to Arizona. We'll get an Airbnb. You could do content together. And I told Edwin the same thing, you know, and they had met each other through live, and they were. Had their own little friendship, and they were growing, like, at the same rate, like 50k, 100k, you know? So I told him, come to A in the summertime and we'll do content together. And then I met Zavala. I think it was July. I met Zavala for my friend Alan. He had a birthday out there in Cali, and I had seen Zavala, my for you page for his lives. He used to go out live and post public and just be crazy.
- [63:58]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [63:58]
Gabe
Screaming in stores and messing with people. And I told him, like, bro, you're funny, bro. Like, we need to do content together one day. I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, but we can do something one day. And he think he had, like, 200K at the time. So I got the time. I was like, the bigger than all, you know, And I had, like, some recognition, you know, people knew. A little bit of people knew about me from lives. And I was like. I put them on a group chat together. I was like, let's get an Airbnb in a couple months and we'll make content together. It wasn't until, I think, August, we all got an Airbnb together. And they all have, like, at the time, like, 700, 800K. So they're catching up to me.
- [64:27]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [64:28]
Gabe
And I'm like, this is perfect. I don't know where my account just gets banned with a million, like a 1.1 million followers.
- [64:34]
Alan I.
Oh, like, deleted, back, gone.
- [64:36]
Gabe
Yeah. And I was like, I'm done. I'm nobody now. And I was like, they're gonna flake on me. They're not gonna come. And I had. I had, like, a backup account that I forgot about with, like 100k followers. And I was thinking, like, what do I do? What's next? And I was like, well, maybe this trip I'll figure something out, you know? And we had planned content out and do all that stuff. Literally within, like, two weeks, I was back at a million.
- [64:58]
Alan I.
Like, from the backup account.
- [64:59]
Gabe
No, I'd say, like, it, like, probably three weeks. It took, like a month for me to get back to a million on them on the backup account.
- [65:03]
Alan I.
I feel like with social media, it's so easy, especially with the clips now, you know, it's so easy for rumors to be created. I feel like people see something and they're like, bitch, I know everything about this person. And I feel like you've been caught in the middle of a lot of that, you know? Tell us a little bit more about that. Has there ever been any rumor that you've been like, girl, that's far from the truth, like, na que veer. You know, I saw a lot of rumors with Wende a couple months ago. Tell us a little bit more about that.
- [65:31]
Gabe
I think it was. I had reached out to her around the time her and had broken up, but I had reached out to her a year before that. Like, back in 2023, I reached out to her to collab. I think she only had, like, 100k at the time, too.
- [65:44]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [65:44]
Gabe
That was when it was just her and Evelyn, like, doing content together. So it was before Relito even came in the picture. I told her, hey, let's do a mukbang live together. She left me on scene. But we did not.
- [65:53]
Alan I.
Thanks.
- [65:53]
Gabe
We did follow each other. Yeah. Back in 2023. And at the time, like I said, like, I had like a million followers. So I was thinking, you know, I have followers. I can get these creators together. They would be, you know, down to do stuff together, and it would be entertaining. But she. She just left me on scene. And then I think like a month later, I seen her with Willito and I was like, okay, let me back off. We knew of each other, but we didn't talk to each other. And when I had seen all that drama going on, I had hit her up about it. And I know that she had planned to do something with Zavala, like a couple weeks before. And I think her and Willito was still together.
- [66:21]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [66:21]
Gabe
Talking. So I know that she was. She known of us. You know, she would come into our lives and she would gift us. I'll come in her live, drop a gift, and her and Benji would come in my lives and gift us. So I'm like, okay, we're cool. We're friends, you know, maybe we can do some content together one day. And then we text them more about it. And then we did, you know, we finally decided to meet up and do content. Content all together. Like me and the boys and her. Me, I'm, like, super shy in person, you know, Especially when I first meet somebody, I'm like, quiet. But if you really know me, like, I'm super, like, yeah. You know, but anytime, especially if it's a girl, though, like, I'm kind of more like, you know, like, trying to not be myself in front of them. Just be shy and quiet to myself. And that's how. That's how I am with everybody, you know, Especially with women, though.
- [67:02]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [67:02]
Gabe
So I think a lot of people would see me being kind of, like, shy and just quiet around her, and they automatically explain, assume, like, I have feelings for her. Yeah. Which I get. I understand from a viewer's point of view now. You know, when I see the clips, I'm like, I don't remember doing that. I don't.
- [67:15]
Alan I.
You're like, damn, that's how I look.
- [67:16]
Gabe
That's how I look. Or I was looking that long. Or I smiled at that, you know? But I always make sure to just be respectful if someone's talking to me. I always be like, what is it? Attentive.
- [67:26]
Alan I.
Attentive.
- [67:27]
Gabe
Like, I shake my head. Yeah, I'll smile, laugh, you know? So people would take that as like, he likes her, he's making eye contact in a conversation he wants to be with. Or it'd be like, stupid things like that. And we would laugh about it. Like me, Wendy and the boys that.
- [67:40]
Alan I.
You guys would talk about in private.
- [67:41]
Gabe
Did you see that clip? And they'd be like, that's so dumb. Like, I'm literally just having a normal conversation with you. But people think that it was something more. Yeah. Like it became like an inside joke between us. Like, I would look that way and they'd be like, the boys would be like, did you see the way Gabe looked? We just laugh about it. But, you know, during that time, I was like in an on and off relationship that used to be public on the Internet. So people would always bring up, isn't he with her still? Or is he with her? You know, And I'd say since 2020, like, end of 2023, we. We went private because she decided to go to, like, college and work, and she didn't want nobody recognizing her at her job or at school or, you know, messing up any opportunity she had. And I completely understood that. So I'm like, I'm not gonna. We had, like, set boundaries. I'm not gonna talk about you. I'm not gonna show you, like, post you. You know, I'm just gonna keep you private. I'll say, you know, we're together, but other than that, I'm gonna keep it private. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about anything personal between us, just out of respect for her, you know. So I've kept it like that since I'd say, like 2023. Like end of 2023. And ever since then, people thought, you know, that we broke up. But I don't want to go on the Internet and say, hey, we broke up, and then everyone goes to look for her account, you know, and start.
- [68:47]
Alan I.
Following her to see Tea or whatever.
- [68:48]
Gabe
To start being nosy and just. It would do basically do the whole complete opposite effect of what she wants. So I was like, we had a plan. Like, maybe if we just don't talk about each other and just act like we don't exist to each other, like, people forget. Yeah, yeah, people will forget. And people just never forgot.
- [69:03]
Alan I.
You know, when that was going on with Wendy, where you guys already broken up or you guys were still talking, you and your act.
- [69:09]
Gabe
We would break up, but we'd get back together.
- [69:11]
Alan I.
Was that something that would get brought up, like, oh, I saw the clips too. Like, what's that about?
- [69:15]
Gabe
Yeah, so I know during that time people were hoping that me and Wendy had something going on. People would just be so nosy and, like, it would affect, you know, like, I can't. I feel Like, I can't be out in public sometimes with. Or I can't be seen on camera with Wendy because I feel like I just have a friendship with Wendy because people think that there's something going on and there's not, you know, or they want something to happen and if I feel like if I don't meet their expectations, they're gonna hate me, you know, But I never entertained it or anything. But people would just assume all the time that there was something secretly going on. And you know, I would see the clips and I'm like, okay, I get that. You know, so then I would address it and say like, hey, can you stop? Or I told Wendy, hey, can you tell them to stop? And it would just cause drama. People would get mad at me like, oh, you're not, you're not stopping it. You never said, you know. And I'm just like, I don't know. I don't even know what to do right now. I feel like I'm in a weird spot right now.
- [70:07]
Alan I.
I think with social media happens a lot. Like, you will never win, especially with the audiences. Like, you can tell them the truth and sometimes their lie is so much more batter and more juicier than the truth. Like sometimes I be seeing about me and I'm like, what the? Like, where did you guys get that from? But you know what, go ahead, run with that, cuz it's better than the reality, you know. Quintanoquito mass about that public relationship, you know, OB you guys go private in 2020. She goes to school. Are you guys dating right now? Are you completely single with that specific relationship?
- [70:41]
Gabe
So we have been, you know, separated for a couple months now. But, you know, we still, like, we're friends, we keep in contact with each other. But I'm really trying to work it out with her right now, you know, because I'm always going to love her. I'm always going to have love for her and I'm not going to just give up on her. We're kind of like at different points in our life right now, but I didn't know that I want to be with her. You know, I just said I need to make it work. You know, I need to do what I can. And if, you know, being public with her would help and I'll be public with her.
- [71:09]
Alan I.
That you had your best friend, Troy, who was your childhood best best friend, and sadly, when you turned 18 a couple years ago, he passed away. Tell us a little bit more about what he meant to you as a friend. How you guys met, and how did you find out? And how did he pass away?
- [71:27]
Gabe
So I met him. I think it was in third grade. I met him at recess, and we would just. I don't remember. We were playing tag or something. I think that's how we became friends. And we just became friends ever since I noticed I had, like, some classes with him, and then he was also friends. Friends with my already friend I had been with for, like. I had been friends with him for, like, a year or two already, and he became friends with him. So we all just got close together, you know, and it was like, ever since then. We were always best friends, always eating lunch together, playing at recess together. We get out of school, hop on the game together. I'd go to walk to his house, he'd come to my house, we'd sleep over. You know, his parents knew my parents, you know, so it was like your best friend.
- [72:05]
Alan I.
Like, the best friend.
- [72:06]
Gabe
The friend. Yeah, the main friend, you know, and we had, like, a little group of, like, four. It was like, me, Troy, Sergio, Felix. That was, like, my close friends. And I had some other friends that I was pretty close to, too, but those are, like, the friends that I would have sleepovers with and, you know, play the games with after school.
- [72:21]
Alan I.
The ones that knew your deep.
- [72:22]
Gabe
Yeah, yeah. And it was like that all the way up into freshman year, I think it was, where we both were getting in trouble and doing bad stuff. But him more than, like, others. Like, he would completely just not come to school, and he was ditching all the time and hanging around people who I thought were, like, scary. Like, this guy's doing that. I don't want to kind of hang out with you because this guy seems kind of dangerous. And he would get kicked out all the time from his dad's house or run away and stuff. And I would get calls like, hey, where is he at? From his family or, you know, friends. Hey, have you heard? Have you heard where he's at? And I would be like, I don't know where he's at. You know, I'll cover up from. Sometimes I knew where he was at, and he just got into a lot of trouble, you know, and he started getting, like, into legal trouble with the cops. Like, the cops would come to his house, arrest him. And I think it was ever since, like, freshman year. He started getting, like, in and out of jail for, like, short periods of time, and I think juvenile. Yeah, He. He would get. He got transferred to another school, and he moved in with my friend Sergio. His mom adopted Him. So he lived with my friend Sergio, I think his sophomore and junior year, and them together were like, double the trouble. Getting in trouble together, doing pretty bad stuff. And I didn't see them because Sergio had went to a different high school. It's kind of far, so I would see them, like, on the weekends. It would still play the game together, and I catch up, you know, But I wasn't seeing them as often. And then I remember, I think he had. Did like, a year and a half. I think he locked up my sophomore year, I think, or something like that. And he ended up getting out basically my senior year.
- [73:47]
Alan I.
When you had texted him about going to L. A?
- [73:49]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [73:49]
Alan I.
Okay.
- [73:50]
Gabe
Yeah. So I would, like, write him, and I would write him letters when he was in juvenile, and he was doing crazy stuff. We were, like, getting involved with guns and stuff, like, stuff that we did not need to be involved in. And I remember when he got out of jail, I told him, let's go to. Let's go to California. You know, I'm kind of famous a little bit at that time. I'm getting a little buzz from the Adrian thing, you know, And I'm telling him, like, we're gonna be over there. It's gonna be crazy. We go over there, and it's just like I said it was. And it literally felt like I was. Like, everything I wanted was coming true, and I'm like, I'm gonna bring them with me everywhere I go. So I think a week after that Adrian kickback thing had happened, and, you know, I was back in Arizona, and I'm telling them, like, this. This party group in Texas wants me to go promote for them, and they're gonna fly me out, pay for my hotel. Let's all go, like, all four of us. And only one of them agrees to go. My friend Felix. And he's like, okay, I'm gonna get my flight. And I'm like. They said they got the hotel for us, so we're good, you know? And I tell Troy and Sergio to come with me, but Sergio couldn't go for whatever reason. And Troy was like, pay for my flight, you know, go. And I'm like, nah, I'm not paying for your flight, you know? And I had money at the time, like, for. I had, like, a couple, you know, a couple thousand saved up. I could have easily bought his ticket, but I was just being like, nah, you got your own money. Because I know he had money, too. And I was like, you can do it yourself. I'm not gonna pay for your Ticket. You're an adult. Because we're 18 at the time, you know? And that was probably, like, one of the biggest decisions that I regret in my life. That night that I had went to or I left in the morning. He had dropped me off at the airport. Airport. And I remember we were, like, drinking. And I was drinking because that was my first time, I think, going on a flight. And I was, like, nervous.
- [75:23]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [75:23]
Gabe
So he was like, just take a shot and stuff. He dropped me off early, like 6 in the morning. I land like, around 9. 9am or something. I get picked up by these people in the party group. They take me to my hotel. And me and my friend Felix are there, just bored. Don't even really know what to do because we don't know anybody out there. And we're just waiting for the next day because that's when the party is. And that night we were, like, at a hotel and. And there was these people in the party group there in the room with us, like, drinking. I get a call from my friend Sergio, and he tells me that one of our mutuals, like our close friends we grew up with as well, had passed away in a car accident. And he was like. And she was pregnant too. And I was like, oh, my gosh. I don't even know what to say because my friend Sergio was a lot closer to her than I was. I was just like. I don't even know what to say. I was in shock because I grew up with her. I think since fifth grade I've known her. So I was just. Just like, I'm sorry, you know, I'm sorry to hear that. And I was a little like, you know, I was already, like, kind of faded, you know, drinking. And I told my friend Felix next to me, and he actually, like, said he had used to talk to her, like, went throughout high school and stuff. And I was. We were just both there, like, what the. You know, this is so weird because someone our age is passing away. It's kind of weird to us. And literally 30 minutes later, I'm waiting for him to call me because he said, I'm on my way to the hospital. They said that she's in a vegetable state state, and she might not make it. And he's like, I'm gonna go to the hospital right now. I'm gonna let you know. And I was like, all right, just call me if you need anything. I'm here for you, bro. And it's like. It's like one in the morning, I think, over there in Texas. It must have been like 11 in Arizona. He calls me in 30 minutes after, like, after we had just spoke. And I'm thinking he's gonna say, like, hey, good news on her, bad news, you know, and he's like, troy just got shot. And I'm like, what the. There's no way this is real. Because I'm a little drunk at the time. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm thinking, thinking Troy's like one of my best friends, you know, and it's all. Troy is also his best friend, and Mercedes is also his best friend that I was like, this has to be a prank.
- [77:11]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [77:11]
Gabe
The two closest people to you just, you know, had a. Was a near death experience or about to die or whatever. I'm thinking, this is real. Like, it's not real. This is a prank. And I'm like, bro, stop with me. Like, this is up, actually, because I'm over here, like, all stressing about you, like, worrying if you're gonna be okay mentally. That's your close friend. How could that happen? You know? And I'm thinking, like, what if he tries hurting himself, you know, Because I know how close and how much she meant to him, you know, and then he tells me, you know, Troy, too. And I'm like, this, you know, another close person to you just got shot. That's not real. You know, like the same night, like 30 minutes apart. Yeah. And I'm thinking, like, this has to be a prank. And I'm a little drunk at the time, you know, so I'm trying to sober up already after hearing him tell me about Mercedes passing. And. And then he tells me the Troy thing, and I'm thinking like, yeah, that's not real. Until I'm like, okay, well, where. Where was it at then? What did it happen? And he tells me, well, this person dropped him off and he got a call from this person saying that he was just with them and this happened. So I'm like, okay, well, give me this person's number. I call. I'm like, yo, what the happened? I don't even know who this guy is. And I'm talking to. And he's like, I dropped them off. And he said he was going to hang out with this guy. And I guess that guy just called him saying, hey, we just got shot at and Troy got shot. And I'm like, okay, so give me that guy's number. I call that guy. I'm like, what's going on? Like, you're with him? And he's like, I left him. And I'm like, what do you mean you left him? He's like, well, the cops are coming. And I had to. Oh, like, oh, I had to go. I had to go. And I'm like, this is not. Something's not adding up. So then it comes, you know, I believe it's real now, you know? And then I don't know what to do. And I'm stressing, like, panicking. Like, I'm trying to remember his dad's number, and I'm like, I don't have. Have it. So I call my dad. Like, it's like, one or two in the morning. I call him, and I'm like, hey, can you do me a big favor? And I'm like, crying on the phone. I'm like, can you go to Troy's house and tell his dad that Troy just got shot? And my dad's like, what? I'm like, troy just got shot. I just got this, you know, I got the news. Go to his house right now. We live, like, three minutes away from each other. So I told my dad, drive over there. My dad hands me the phone to Troy's. Hands the phone to Troy's dad. Dad. And I have to break the news to his dad. Like, your son got shot. I don't know where he's at. He was with this guy, and they said, it's on this street. You need to get there, like, asap. And I remember Troy's dad saying, like, what I do? What do I do? And my dad's telling him, like, you need to get over there. So I know Troy's dad got over there, and he texted me, and he said, like, the ambulance is here already. I think they took him already. And the cops were there just, like, collecting evidence and stuff. And I was calling all the hospitals, trying to figure out where he was at that, see if I can get an update. But I think usually when, like, a. Like any gun violence happens or something like that happens, they don't disclose.
- [79:49]
Alan I.
Yeah. Until, like, the investigation goes through. Yeah.
- [79:52]
Gabe
I couldn't get nothing from nobody. I. Trying to figure out where he was at, and I'm just, like, losing my mind, like, trying to sober up, like, there's no way this is actually happening right now. And then I'm calling Sergio, like, are you okay? And he told me they're telling us if we want to pull the plug on Mercedes or not. Not. I was just like, what the is going on right now? Life is not real. And then he calls me a couple minutes later, and, like, we decided. They decided to Pull the plug on her. And I'm just like, damn. And then I'm like, okay, I think Troy's gonna be all right, you know? And Troy has been through a lot. He would always be fighting people. I know that he's had. He had told me he had overdose one time, and he came back to life. So I'm thinking, like, he's a strong fighter.
- [80:28]
Alan I.
He's a fighter.
- [80:28]
Gabe
Yeah. He come back to life, he's gonna be okay. But I didn't know where he got shot at, how many times he got hit or anything thing. But I just knew that they said he was on going on to the hospital. So I'm like, I'm gonna sleep this off. I'm gonna wake up and everything's gonna be good. And I remember having a dream that I seen him. Like, I was walking on this street that I've never walked on in my life, and I seen him, like, on the floor in a ball, like, put his knees up. And I go up to him. I'm like, crying. I'm like, what are you doing? Everyone's worried about you. Are you okay? Like, what happened? And he's, like, smiling, laughing at me. And he used to always do this thing where he'd grab my shoulders and shake me like that. And he was, like, telling me, like, it's okay. I'm okay. I'm fine, you know? And I'm like, you're not. Like, I'm. You got shot. Like, everyone's saying, you didn't make it or you're not going to make it. And he's just telling me, it's okay, it's going to be okay. And he's smiling, and I'm like, why are you smiling right now? This is so serious. And then I wake up, I look at my phone, and they say, you didn't make it. And I was like, damn.
- [81:20]
Alan I.
Who texted you first? The dad.
- [81:22]
Gabe
Sergio had texted me. He told me he didn't make it. So I wake up to, you know, hear, and, you know, he didn't make it. And Mercedes also passed away, too, and, like, just ruined everything for me. I was so. That was probably one of the hardest things I ever went through.
- [81:37]
Alan I.
How did his passing affect you emotionally? Do you feel like it really did affect you from that moment on?
- [81:44]
Gabe
Yeah, it definitely did. Made me had, like, a lot of anger at the world. I don't know why. I was just angry. Like, I wasn't. Like, I was. I had, like, a good head on my shoulders. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was trying to stay out of trouble during the time, but that made me want to, like, live more reckless because I'm thinking, life's so short. Who cares? Nothing matters. I was like, all depressed. Like, nothing I do a matter. There's no point of living. That's how I was thinking, you know, So I was out, like, partying, drinking, doing drugs, just trying to, like, fill that little void that I had. And, you know, I was so sad. And I just wasn't thinking about my future. I was living really reckless. And I started making more friends who were in, you know, kind of going through the same thing I was going through and living the same way I was. And I started seeing those friends pass away too. I mean, I would know only them. Like, I know them for only a couple months, but seeing someone you just would hang out with every weekend, passing too. And then, you know, Troy, Mercedes passing, it was just weird. It just felt like I couldn't escape it. Like everyone around me just kept passing away. Like every other week someone was. I knew it was passing.
- [82:46]
Alan I.
Do you think it came with. With the lifestyle that at the time you were living?
- [82:50]
Gabe
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I was around a lot of, like, just trouble, you know, And I got, like, desensitized to it. I started becoming like, oh, yeah, just. It is. This is how it is. Yeah, my time will come soon. And I started, like, thinking, like, there's only a matter of time for me. I would have nightmares that I was gonna die or, like, get robbed one day or set up or shot out at a party. And I was just thinking, like, it's gonna happen because it's happening to everyone around me. My time will come soon. And that's my time. That's it. So I just wasn't thinking about my future at all. I was just thinking about where am I gonna be at this weekend doing all that. I remember I had like, during that time I had met this other influencer. I would still go live and like, go like post tick tocks and stuff. But I met this other influencer named Gabe. Not Babe.
- [83:33]
Alan I.
Oh, yes.
- [83:33]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [83:34]
Alan I.
He passed away too, right?
- [83:35]
Gabe
Sadly, yeah. So I became friends with him like two weeks before he had passed. And we had made plans because I was going to be out in Texas. Texas. To do another event out there, A party event. And I told him, hey, they want you on it too. Let's do it together. We started going live with each other. We would like. I remember, like, I would due at his tiktoks, he would do it mine and we would just mess around and stuff, and we would, like, text and talk on the phone, like, you're gonna come to az. We're gonna do this. And I remember he was supposed to come out for an event that my friend Armando was having. Wait, have you had Grace on here?
- [84:04]
Alan I.
Yes. Yes.
- [84:06]
Gabe
Yeah.
- [84:06]
Alan I.
So she was actually the second episode of this season.
- [84:10]
Gabe
Really?
- [84:10]
Alan I.
Yeah. You know what's so crazy? I will say this. Grace Dancer. Grace.
- [84:14]
Gabe
Right.
- [84:15]
Alan I.
I will always say Grace holds a very special place in my heart because the day I filmed with her, I got the news that my grandpa passed away, and I was going to lag on her. I, you know, wasn't going to go through with filming. But I don't know why. I was like, you know what? Like, I'm just going to show up. I had been crying all day. I showed up with my eyes off, puffed up, glammed up, sat in the chair. And I will always say Grace made that day go so smooth because. And you know what's so crazy with hers?
- [84:45]
Gabe
Her.
- [84:45]
Alan I.
If you watch her episode, it's very bubbly. It's very funny. Like, I think I needed that at that moment to get through that day. So, yes, I love Grace.
- [84:53]
Gabe
Yeah. So I think at the time, they had, like, been public already. Grace and Armando and I actually grew up and went to school with Armando. Like, we used to eat at the same time table. We went to the same high school, you know, like, we were friends. And he was doing social media. I was doing social media, but he was already, like, pretty up there, you know, and he was really known in Arizona. I know that he was having a Bailey event for Grace's birthday. And Gabe told me, I'm gonna be out there for. In Arizona for her event. And the next week, you're gonna be in Texas and we're gonna have your event. So, like, we're gonna see each other. Yeah, both weekends in a row. We could do content. I was like, all right, sounds good. Like, a couple days before her event, he ended up passing away day. And I literally had texted him the same day he had passed away. And I remember the girl I was with at the time, she had told me, hey, I think your friend passed. And I didn't believe it. And I texted him, like, yo, you good? And I never got a reply. And I was like, it's just rumors. Yeah, it's probably fake. And it ended up they confirming, I think his sister or someone in his family had posted that it was real. And I was just like, what the? Like, why does this keep happening to me, you know, like, I feel like everybody I try to get close to, they start passing away or, you know, like, I feel like I just couldn't escape and not even put in my head even more like, you're next. You're gonna die next, you know? So, like, I kept having this fear of death. Like, I remember I would drink with my friends and I would just end the night by crying, saying, I'm gonna die. And I remember I would still go out and, like, drink on the weekends, go to parties involving myself in more danger, being at these parties I would get shot up at. And I remember I would just get so drunk, I would be crying, thinking, like, I'm next. I'm next. And I would tell my friends, like, I love you. You. I don't want you to be like, I don't want you here. I don't want you to be around this person. Like, you're putting yourself in danger. And it made me cherish my friends and also my family. But it was also hard for me to be home during those times because when I was home, I would think about, you know, when Troy would sleep over, I would think about. We'd play the game and stuff. So I was just always trying to not be at my house and be in my neighborhood, being around where he lived, because it would, like, trigger me.
- [86:43]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [86:43]
Gabe
So I was always trying to just stay away from my house and just not be. Be home. So I'd be out late, like, every single day. And I think I had stopped working around that time because it just came, like, too much for me. But I had, like, some money saved up, and I started getting a little bit of money off of social media. Nothing crazy, but enough to, like, get what I needed. And then I think during that time, me and my ex were still having a lot of fights and arguments, and I came to a realization, like, I'm going through so much. I don't think I should be in a relationship right now.
- [87:12]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [87:12]
Gabe
And I'm going through this right now. And I was like, I'm just going to live my life and just, I don't need this no more. Like, it's dead weight because you're just always stressing me out, fighting with me. So we had separated. I finally put my foot down and decided to leave her. I have dreams of him still to this day, where I'm usually during, like, when I'm really sad or depressed or, like, just overwhelmed, he'll randomly pop up in my dream, and I'm like, what are you doing here, you know? But he's always just, like, in my dreams is happy. Like, chill out. Like, he'll tell me, like, stop being a bitch. Like, get over it, you're fine. And I'll be like, all right, you're good. You're right. You know? But it's. It's not so much that I don't think about it, like, in a negative way anymore. I'm able to talk about it without getting sad.
- [87:50]
Alan I.
Sad, yeah.
- [87:51]
Gabe
I'm happy for him. And I believe that he did pass on and went to heaven, you know, so. And after experience all that death, I definitely do believe that there is an afterlife. But during that time, I was thinking, like, nothing matters. Nothing. There's no God. There's no nothing. Like, you just die and that's it. But I think all that happening around me showed me that God is real and he's with you, protecting you, and that there is an afterlife.
- [88:15]
Alan I.
What is something that you would have wished to hear or was something that you feel like they should know when going through something this hard?
- [88:23]
Gabe
Definitely to keep yourself busy, stay, like, stay out, hang out with friends, maybe work a lot. Don't spend time on your, like, in your room alone. Hang out with people. People and try to meet new friends, you know, who can distract you from just thinking negatively and having a bad mindset because you could just dig yourself in a deeper hole by just staying home and being depressed, you know?
- [88:42]
Alan I.
I want to talk about your relationship with God. Nos cuentas that, you know, during that time, you were very disconnected from God and the religion. Were you religious growing up, or was it something that was never a thing?
- [88:53]
Gabe
Never. No. My parents never, like, really talked about religion or enforced it on us. But my dad said, like, he's always told me, my mom has always told me, like, whatever you believe, and I support you and I'll love you no matter what, you know? So from 18 to 20, I had this, like, hatred towards religion and, like, God. I thought I hated God for if there was a God, why is he doing this to me? Like, all this death around me, why are you doing this to me? Like, what is the point of this? These are good people to me. These are close friends. They mean so much to me. Why are you taking them out of my life? And I just seen it, like I was being punished for something that I didn't even know. Like, what did I do? What did I do wrong? You know? And I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't. I didn't know how to Pray. I didn't understand death, really. And, you know, going through, like, all the emotions. It's like I would start slowly getting over someone else passing, and then, boom, another person's passed, and I'm like, back to square one. And then it just kept happening, happening, happening, until I felt like I got like a little break for a couple months and I. I didn't have no friends passing away. And then in, what was it, New Year's? 2020, 2023, going to 2024, I had a friend, Xavier, who had passed away. And I wasn't that close to him for like, the last, like, year or two, but I was close to him at that point when I was going through my party phase.
- [90:09]
Alan I.
Yeah.
- [90:10]
Gabe
And when Troy had passed, I was out partying and I would party, like, with him and be around him. He was someone I was associated with. So that kind of was like, damn. Because I had started seeing him change his life around and stop being in, like, all the trouble, you know, because I known him, like, as a hot head, like a guy who was fighting and being crazy, even out there. And I started noticing him, like, him maturing, he got in a relationship, he's working a job, he had a car, you know, like, he started clean up his, you know, clean himself up, you know, And I was proud of him. And then I seen that he got shot, and I was like, what the, bro? Like, why does this keep happening? You know? And I got a little sad about it for, like, a couple months, and I kind of got over it and I started like, okay, I need to start being active again on social media. I need to stop being, you know, so quiet on social media, because when you go inactive for like a month, people will forget about you, you know, And I need to get my bills paid. I need to be, you know, doing what I'm supposed to be doing as a social media, like, influencer, you know, and posting content and doing stuff. And I know I let a lot of my followers down with my inactivity and just not being consistent. So I was like, I'm going to start doing it again. Started doing it again. And then in April, two my friends passed away again. Chris and Johnny had passed away. And I was really good friends with them for the last. I met them during my party, my party phase as well. But they were really good guys. They were never in trouble. They've always worked their jobs, always been to themselves. But I was with them, like, every other weekend in 2021, 2022, I was taking vacations with them. And, like, we would talk about moving in with each other, and I was supposed to move in with them at one point, but they ended up getting a different house. And they were, like, my best friends, though. And they. They were also friends with Mercedes as well. I didn't know that they were friends with her, but they knew her as well. So we kind of, like, could relate on that, her passing. And they also knew we're friends with Xavier as well, so we could relate on that, too. So I remember even telling them about it, like, how I was sad about it. And, you know, we'd hang out, we'd drink and stuff, and they would tell us, like, you know, come out with us more. You know, let's go to the casino. Because I had just turned 21 in April, and all of our birthdays were in April. We all turned 21 in April. So I was like, all right, I'll go to the casino. But during that time, I was still a little depressed, like, going through it. And I started realizing, I think I need to get a relationship with God, because I don't know who to turn to, who to run to or talk to, like, who can relate to me and listen to me, you know, vent with all these problems. And nothing is helping. No drugs. Like, nothing has helped me at all. No alcohol, nothing. No activities make me happy anymore. And I'm just, like. I was feeling really alone. So I started thinking, like, I need to ask for forgiveness for everything I've done and the way I've been living my life and try to clean my act up, you know? And I started telling Chris and Johnny about it. Like, I think I'm going to start going to church, and I need to, like, fix myself. And they were just looking at me like, what the fuck? You know, like. Like, who have you been telling them? Like, I want to go to college. Like, I want to do all these things. And they're like, is this the same person? You know? And they're like, well, that's good, man. I'm happy for you. And the crazy part is they actually worked at a funeral home, so their family owns a funeral home. And they would do, like, services. Yeah, services. Take the bodies, pick them up and stuff. So that's what they did for living. And they were very comfortable with the fact that, like, they're really comfortable with death because they've done services for their own family and friends, you know, so it was nothing new to them. You know, they're very comfortable with it, but I wasn't comfortable with it. So I Mean, I remember there'd be times that we would have conversations with them, and they would say, like, hey, if you were to ever pass, we can do your service, like, for a cheap price. And they would say, like, oh, I want to get cremated, or I want this. And I'm like, let's not talk about that. And I would, like, get, like, almost a panic attack of them saying, hey, when you die, die, we could get a casket and stuff for you and do this. And I'm like, no, I'm not dying. I'm not dying. You know? But it's so weird, like, that it was them, and it happened to be a car accident. They had gotten on the way to go pick up a body out, and they're driving from Arizona, I think, to Salt Lake City, and they had hit the back of, like, a truck. I think it had, like, propane or something in it. And it exploded basically on impact. And I know that Chris had. I think he had passed on impact. And then Johnny had went back to the car to try to pull him out, but he couldn't get him out. And then Johnny had died from his burns. And I remember the way I found out is I was on Instagram just laying in bed, and my friend Isaac, who was like, their best friend that I'm friends with, you know, posted a picture of them all together saying, like, I can't believe this is real. And it said, like, posted three minutes ago. I call Isaac, and I'm like, are you joking? And he was like, I'm not, bro. I wish I was. And he said, like, he posted only that Chris passed. So I get in my car, I call my girlfriend at the time. I'm like, johnny. Johnny. And Chris just passed, and I was just with them. Literally, like, the day before, I slept at their house. I slept at Chris's house. So I was just with him. And this is like, the day I'm telling him I'm gonna change my life and turn to God. That same day, I woke up, you know, did my thing. I think it was two days after they had passed. And I would think I was playing the game with him the night before. So. So it was just like, this isn't real. Why is this happening to me? And another. Like, another death. Yeah, another death. After I just told him, did you.
- [95:02]
Alan I.
At that moment, you're like, you know what? I was about to have a relationship with you.
- [95:05]
Gabe
That's how I was feeling. That's how I was feeling. I was so mad. I remember calling my mom, and I'm Like, I'm trying to change. I'm trying to turn to God. And it's like he keeps telling me, like, he keeps showing me that he doesn't like me or something, you know, And I feel like that was him testing me, I think. Not that he took them out of my life, but that was a test. Because I heard that when you do have a start trying to build your relationship, relationship with God, that there's going to be a lot of demons trying to pull you back and try to get you to fall back into that dark spot and, you know, not having faith. And I just remember driving over there, speeding to my. My friend Chris's house, and because everyone was there, his family was all there, trying to get the news. And we get the news, you know, that he didn't make it. And I'm just like, you know, I'm in shock. And we're waiting to hear what's going on with Johnny because he said that they were taking him to the hospital. Hospital. I think after like 30 minutes or an hour waiting, they told me that he didn't make it either. And I was just like, oh, I don't know. It was just terrible. Like, why is this happening? You know? And, you know, I feel like within these, like, last three to four years, I've probably lost more than, like, 10 friends to, like, gun violence, drugs, car accidents, like, everywhere you can think. And they're all like, my age, you know, so it feels so weird to think, like, and have that mindset, like, I might not live past 18, 19, 20. So. So during those years, I'm not thinking about my future. Like, I'm not thinking of having a home and a kid, you know, Like, I'm just thinking about tomorrow. After they had passed, they started coming, like, to inclusion, you know, it just. It is what it is, you know, everybody will die one day. Sadly, it's a sad truth, but everybody will die one day and it might happen to you tomorrow or so. You should always appreciate what you have.
- [96:38]
Alan I.
And do you remember the first moment where you felt, you know, after feeling so neglected by God, after feeling. Feeling like, you know, he doesn't love you or he doesn't want you to get closer to him. Do you remember the first moment where you felt like, okay, I feel like a connection with God. Was there a moment for you like that?
- [96:56]
Gabe
I remember I had this really weird dream one day. It was like a couple days before they had passed. What started making me say, like, I need to turn to God. It was. Had this dream where I Keep in mind, like, I had slept for 16 hours. I've never slept that long in my life. And I had slept for 16 hours that, that night. And it felt like I was sleeping forever. I had this like weird nightmare where I was in my room and it was just during that time I was like, really depressed. I always had like my LED lights, but on, but super low. And I would just be curtains closed just in my room. And in my room in my dream, I was in my room, just on my phone. All right. Actually, I don't think I had my phone. I was just in my room and it just felt like, lonely. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt so lonely and cold and just like there was just no one there with me. I remember hearing my brother crying and I was so, like concerned, like, where is that? Why is he crying? And I look under my bed and I could hear his voice crying. It sound like he was underneath my bed crying. And I have like drawers underneath my bed and I pull them open and he's like, somewhere. It's like a never ending room down there. There. I crawl in there and I like teleport into some giant room. And like everything was just black. And I could just hear people like screaming and crying. And I felt like people were grabbing my legs and scratching at me. And I was trying to get out of the room. I could see like a tunnel. I'm trying to get to the light and I just feel like I was running forever. And I was stuck in there and I could just hear all these people crying. And I felt like. I think I went in that dream. I went to hell or seeing what hell was like bike. And out of nowhere, it's like a giant hand reached into where I was at and pulled me out and put me back on my bed. And I seen this weird creature, looked like a. Like a demon or something. I don't even know what it was. And he was just staring at me. And I remember trying to. I wasn't scared of him, but I was just like, who are you and why are you in my room? And I remember trying to open my door and it wouldn't open. And I would like punch the door and try kicking it. It wouldn't open.
- [98:53]
Alan I.
And you wouldn't wake up at all?
- [98:55]
Gabe
No. And he just kept laughing at me and telling me, like, you're here forever. And I know during that time I was kind of like suicidal. I was kind of feeling like I had nobody to talk to or, you know, vent to anymore. Cuz I just didn't know who could relate to me, you know? And I, I don't know, I just felt super alone. And I don't. I don't know if it was because I was thinking about suicide and God was telling me, like, this is. If you commit suicide, this is where you will go. That's what I was thinking maybe. I just felt like I was alone and he was just watching me and I would just tell him, like, just let me out, just let me leave my room. Like I wanted to try calling for help and no one could hear me. And I don't know, he just kept making fun of me. Like, just. He would grab me and like throw me on the floor and like hit me and I would try fighting him and he was just too strong. Like I felt like he was just throwing me around the room and I felt like I was. Like I was in that dream forever, like it never ended. And I finally woke up. Woke up and I think I had one asleep like at 3am that night. And I woke up and it was like 7:00pm oh, the next day. Yeah, 7:00pm the next day. And I woke up and I felt like. I felt like I lost like, like my masculinity. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like I wasn't like a man. I felt like defeated because I felt like I lost the fight. And I remember thinking that day, like, is this the day that I think I decide to do this? Because I just feel so, so lost and so like alone and so depressed. And I just started praying in my car, like crying. I remember praying and just asking for forgiveness and trying to like right all by wrongs. And I kept saying like, I promise I'll change. I'll stop drinking, I'll stop partying, stop being lustful, like all these things. I'll stop talking negative about people. I'll stay out of drama. Like just. I was just praying, like, just forgive me for everything I have done. And it felt like, like I've done so much bad that I couldn't get forgiven no more. That's what I thought in my head. And I'm thinking like telling myself the reason why I lost all these people is because of my choices and this is God punishing me.
- [100:55]
Alan I.
Were you thinking you were the problem at one point?
- [100:57]
Gabe
Yeah, I was thinking that. And I would have like a lot of survivor, survivor's guilt, cuz, you know, seeing all my friends die young, you know, and it'd be like I was just with you like an hour ago and now you're gone, you know, And I would think it could have been me or it should have been me instead. And I just kept asking, like, just forgive me. I up and I, I, I promise I'll change. And then I think that was like what made me turn because I, I felt like that day I was going to decide to, you know, finally do it. And when I was, you know, alone, I feel like God came and like hugged and gave me a hug, you know. And I think after that I was like, I'm just going to pray every day. I'm just going to try to help other people and talk to people about God.
- [101:42]
Alan I.
And how has your life changed since, you know, since getting closer to God? Do you see positive change in your life in your emotional state? Do you see a difference?
- [101:52]
Gabe
Definitely, I definitely do. I have my moments, you know, cuz, you know, it is a lot of traumatic stuff that I had went through. But I see a future now. Like I think, think about my future a lot more. And whenever something does happen, like inconvenience or there's a obstacle in my way, I see like God's not going to put me through something that I can't handle. I've already been through so much. There's nothing that can put me back to where I was at before. I feel like there's nothing that could bring me back to that point anymore. Like, I know how much my life means now and I know that there's way more to life and I know that I'm going to go through more stuff. I know that it's going to be obstacles, tools, but I know that God will never put me through anything that I can't handle. Everyone will have their time in their life. Like it, I feel like it comes to you naturally. So if you're not a religious person, you may not. If you're watching this and you don't believe in God and you don't ever see yourself having a relationship with God, I promise you you will one day. I think you will have your experience. It could be when you're 40, 20, 30, maybe 80 years old. And I think that you'll have a moment where you with God. You will realize that God has been with you the entire time. Time he's been right behind you just haven't been talking to Him. And I think if you really talk to him and you know, you just ask for forgiveness and pray to him when you're going through your hard times and also pray for, you know, be thankful for what you do. Have because a lot of people forget to be thankful for the simple things. You know, it's so easy to pray and ask for things. I want this. Change this for me. I need more money, you know, but you also have to sit, like, sit back and look about what you do have, like the friends, the family, family, roof over your head, little things, having a phone, having food, you know, things.
- [103:24]
Alan I.
The little things matter.
- [103:25]
Gabe
No, they really do matter for sure. And you need to realize that, you know, you have all that because of him. And once you're grateful for it, I think that you'll start seeing. You'll see life differently. You'll be more for grateful for little things. And you have a more positive outlook on him, like, and just life in general. And I think your relationship will get better with him.
- [103:46]
Alan I.
I'm so glad that we had this convo and I'm so glad me not today's interview to finish it off. Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
- [103:57]
Gabe
In the next five years, I hope that I am more stable. I guess I. I want to be like, iconic on social media, you know, I know I'm still starting, you know, but I want to be more like, have my. Made my impact, you know, maybe influence some people to even do what I do and just be able to be remembered. And I'm hoping. And then I have a big house and a family. Maybe hope to be closer to my family too, like my brother, my sister, mom and dad. And yeah, that's where I see myself.
- [104:27]
Alan I.
And I hope and manifest that all for you, you'll say, just from hearing you talk. I'm not gonna lie. I was a little nervous to have this interview just because, I don't know, I feel like sometimes when you don't know a person, a lot of the time I interview people that have had some sort of relationship over the years or someone I. I bump into. But I'm so glad that we made this happen because I know not just everyone watching at home, but even myself, you know, got to see a different side of you. Yes. Pero que us. And really do truly see a different side of Gabe. And I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time out of your day and being here with us today.
- [105:05]
Gabe
Thank you for having me. I appreciate the opportunity.
- [105:07]
Alan I.
Thank you so much. No, I really do. If you guys haven't followed Gabe already, you guys go and follow him on all his social medias, which I'll leave down below as well as on the screen so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you guys so much for watching, and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye, guys.
- [105:28]
Gabe
Bye. Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by.
- [105:36]
C
People who know bikes like I do.
- [105:38]
Gabe
I'm happy as a clam Disclaimer. No conclusion of scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness.
- [105:43]
C
It just meant that I feel really.
- [105:44]
Gabe
Good about my coverage. I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy. Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle.