Jesse Talks All: Childhood, Coming Out, Homecoming King Drama, CHISME & MORE!!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Episode Title: Jesse Talks All: Childhood, Coming Out, Homecoming King Drama, CHISME & MORE!!
Release Date: January 10, 2025
Host: Alannized (Alan Eist)
Guest: Jesse Alvarez

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized, host Alannized sits down with Jesse Alvarez, a rising social media influencer known for his "Get Ready with Me" content on TikTok. The conversation delves deep into Jesse's personal journey, exploring his childhood, experiences with coming out, the drama surrounding his run for homecoming king, and the challenges of navigating fame in the digital age.

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Childhood and Early Struggles

Jesse begins by reflecting on his early years in Dalton, Georgia, describing himself as a "shy kid with no friends in school" (10:03). He candidly shares the internal and external pressures he faced due to his weight and interests, which diverged from traditional gender norms. Jesse states:

"I was more of a person who liked makeup. Doing your hair, you know, just pink."

These feelings of being different led to self-isolation and a constant fear of judgment from peers. Jesse explains how these early experiences shaped his self-esteem and social interactions.

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Growing Up in Dalton, Georgia

Dalton provided Jesse with a predominantly Hispanic community, which he felt safer in. He appreciates the close-knit environment, noting:

"All my family is Hispanic and I feel like we all get to relate to each other."

However, Jesse also touches on the economic challenges within his community, particularly how many Hispanics work under the table, adding another layer of complexity to his upbringing.

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First Job and Inappropriate Experiences

At 14, Jesse took his first job as a dishwasher at Subway, a role that exposed him to long hours and inappropriate behavior from his manager. He recounts disturbing incidents, including unwanted physical advances:

"He comes and he slaps my ass."

Feeling trapped due to his age and the threat of job loss, Jesse struggled to address the harassment. It wasn't until a detective became involved that the situation was resolved, resulting in the manager's termination. Jesse reflects on this traumatic experience and its impact on his personal and professional life.

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Coming Out Story

A pivotal moment in Jesse's life was his coming out to his mother on Thanksgiving Day. Initially, his mother mistook his interest in makeup as transgender identity, leading to a heartfelt conversation. Jesse shares:

"Mom, I'm gay."

Despite initial confusion, Jesse feels fortunate for his mother's support. He emphasizes the importance of having understanding family members, noting:

"I'm really grateful and lucky to have a parent like that because I feel like a lot of gay little boys don't have a supportive system."

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Navigating School and Social Media Fame

Jesse discusses his social life, highlighting the shift in popularity that came with his TikTok presence during high school. Starting from sophomore year, Jesse gained recognition, which altered his social dynamics. He remarks on the irony of former bullies seeking his advice on content creation, leading him to maintain a small, trusted friend circle.

His foray into social media began with encouragement from a friend, which eventually replaced his job at Subway. Jesse recounts the moment he decided to pursue TikTok full-time:

"Once I saw that he actually got me deals and stuff that could pay my bills, I was like, I think I can quit my job right now."

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Homecoming King Drama

One of the most intense moments in the episode revolves around Jesse's campaign for homecoming king. Facing opposition and online harassment, Jesse details the mixed reactions he received both in person and on social media. Upon winning, he encountered significant negativity:

"There was a big crowd section of just the boys that were all rooting for the boys, and they were booing when my name was announced."

Jesse expresses how he coped with the backlash by focusing on his happiness and using his success as a coping mechanism:

"I use my happiness as a way to cope with it. I was like, I want this since I was a freshman. Nobody's going to take away from this."

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Dealing with Online Negativity and Mental Health

The conversation shifts to the darker side of social media, where Jesse shares his struggles with online hate and its impact on his mental health. He admits:

"I sent a message. I'm like, I think I'm gonna go on a walk... I was trying to hide it because they didn't know anything and I didn't tell them."

Jesse emphasizes the importance of finding supportive communities and coping strategies to handle negativity, advising listeners to seek trusted individuals and take time before coming out.

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Advice for Listeners

Jesse offers heartfelt advice to listeners who may be struggling with their identities or facing similar challenges:

"First, you have to really take your time because you never know how your parents are going to react. Always have a backup plan and have someone you can always go talk to."

He underscores the significance of patience and self-awareness in the coming out process, stressing that there is never a "right time" to reveal one's true self.

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Future Goals and Aspirations

Looking ahead, Jesse articulates his ambitions beyond high school. He aspires to own his own makeup brand and dreams of financially supporting his mother. Additionally, he hopes to relocate to a larger city to further his social media career:

"In the next five years, I hope to see myself owning my own makeup brand because that's something I really am interested in doing."

Jesse acknowledges the uncertainty of social media as a stable career but remains optimistic about adapting to changes and exploring new platforms if necessary.

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Conclusion

This episode of Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized offers a raw and honest look into Jesse Alvarez's life, highlighting his resilience in the face of adversity. Jesse's story serves as an inspiration to many, demonstrating the importance of self-acceptance, supportive relationships, and perseverance. Alannized effectively navigates through Jesse's personal anecdotes, providing listeners with both entertainment and valuable insights.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [10:03] Jesse Alvarez: "I was more of a person who liked makeup. Doing your hair, you know, just pink."
• [15:12] Jesse Alvarez: "Honestly, not really. Because every time someone would ask me... I feel like it was a lot of them."
• [28:05] Jesse Alvarez: "Well, I feel like I got caught being gay more than me actually coming out."
• [33:35] Jesse Alvarez: "I was trying to hide it because they didn't know anything and I didn't tell them."
• [37:48] Jesse Alvarez: "I feel like I'm a really tough person. I can take a lot of hate and I actually take the time out of my day to go through all of my comments and delete every hate comment actually."
• [71:13] Jesse Alvarez: "I want you to look for somebody who you know you can trust with something on the level of something like that. And then all you have to do is just look into it and relive it and find peace in that."

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Key Takeaways

• Self-Acceptance: Embracing one's true identity is crucial for personal happiness and mental well-being.
• Support Systems: Having supportive family and friends can significantly impact the coming out process and overall mental health.
• Coping with Negativity: Developing strategies to handle online hate and negativity is essential in the digital age.
• Pursuing Passions: Following one's passions, such as social media in Jesse's case, can lead to fulfilling career paths despite uncertainties.

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This episode not only showcases Jesse's personal growth but also provides listeners with a deeper understanding of the complexities faced by young influencers navigating identity and fame. Alannized's empathetic hosting ensures that Jesse's story resonates authentically, making this episode a must-listen for those interested in personal stories of resilience and self-discovery.

Transcript

[Alan Eist]

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Alma believes that therapy is more impactful when you feel heard and understood. That's why they help people find a therapist who really gets them the right someone to talk to. Not just anyone. Alma can help you find a therapist who gets you. When you browse the directory, you can filter by what you want to focus on example, anxiety, relationships or big life transitions as well as any preference around gender, sexuality and more. Alma can help you find a therapist who takes your insurance People who find in network care through ALMA save an average of 77% on the cost of therapy. This way you can focus on your search on finding someone who feels like the right fit for you without worrying about affordability. It's easy to get started with alma. Browse the directory without creating an account or sharing payment information. You can book a free consultation call with any therapist you're interested in seeing. These 15 minutes call give you a chance to see if they're a good fit for for you so you can find someone you really click with. Even though I'm currently not in therapy, I know the importance of having someone in my life who truly understands where I'm coming from. I know sometimes while going through life confusing moments to open up to anyone near you because pienzas que tevana jusgar o pienzas que simplemente no tevan entender where you're coming from. So I really do feel like therapy is a great way for you to seek help and feel hurt that I've been going through it in all those estado Considering going to therapy. If you've been considering finding a licensed professional to help you work through your own life challenges, give Alma a try. Alma can help you find the right therapist for you, not just anyone. Visit hello Alma.com Allen to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello Alma.com Allen, be honest. When's the last time you had a homemade meal?

[Jesse Alvarez]

We get it between meetings, workout classes.

[Alan Eist]

And the kids after school sports.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Who who's got time to cook?

[Alan Eist]

That's where HelloFresh comes in. No matter how busy you get, HelloFresh has everything you need to get an easy home cooked meal on the table with flavor packed recipes like Parmesan Herb Crusted Salmon. You'll be filling your kitchen with the cozy aromas of a homemade meal in no time. So go ahead, try HelloFresh.

[Jesse Alvarez]

It's homemade made easy.

[Alan Eist]

Learn [e-mail] I get caught up to.

[Jesse Alvarez]

The security's office says that There's a detective here looking for me. And I was like, why is there detective looking for me?

[Alan Eist]

What is up, everyone? I'm your host, Alan Eist, and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turned talk show. And on the yo trigo a tus influencers favoritos para platicar y po sible. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight, Jesse Alvarez. Hello. Hello.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I'm good. How are you?

[Alan Eist]

I am so excited. Little fun fact. We're actually filming on a Sunday, but I usually film in the mornings.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

And the reason why, you guys, is because I like getting, like, the filming out of the day. Like, I'm like, okay, I filmed. But today, you guys, I was like, you know what? It's gonna have to be late because I get fun. My swagger had like a little posada. And I was like, no.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

I was like, what if, like, I wake up hungover? Your first message in the morning is gonna be like, it's cancelled. I'm like, go home.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Don't even come.

[Alan Eist]

Literally. No. But I literally wanted to make it, you know. You know, pilas and to be really here, present. And I'm so excited. On Thursday. Puenta knows how that's been.

[Jesse Alvarez]

We got here Thursday night and the hotel is like, it's beautiful. But when you. Once you walk out that hotel, it's crazy. There's like homeless people everywhere. I'm like, I know. This is catchy. You're like, the airport, it was so crazy. We almost missed our flight. We get there after that, we left really early. We left the house like 2:30. We get there like at 5 because it's a two hour drive to Atlanta. I was like, okay, we're ahead of schedule. No, we get there, they're like, oh, your flight's about to leave me. What are you talking about? I have to confirm my ticket. Still mine. Okay. I had already. I checked it in. I had my confirmation code. And then my friends, it said we couldn't find the confirmation code. I had to contact the customer support. And then as you're about a board. As it's about a board. Yeah. So I'm like, oh, my God, what do I do? And last minute, it took like an hour and 20. I'm not even playing. To get that confirmation code from them. And then we finally got it. Then I started to go check in my bag, and then I had to go to. What is it? When you. They check your bags?

[Alan Eist]

Oh, to like, check them in, like.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Where you have to leave that. We had to give them our IDs. Okay, I get my ID. I'm like, okay, I'm ready to go. We get to my friend, no, he doesn't have his id. It's like, yeah, well, he had the paper copy, but they don't take that.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah, they want the physical.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, they want the physical. I'm like, oh. And it's this whole little process. We go. And then now they're checking our bags, like, oh, you can't take these four products. I'm like, I bought these yesterday for la, and no, they threw them away.

[Alan Eist]

Wait, was it your first time flying?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, first time flying.

[Alan Eist]

Aprindes muncho. Your first flight. You guys, I feel like airports in general are my least favorite place to be at because Algo siempre pasa. El pincha puerto. Like, there's always something going on. And literally, like, whenever I travel, I always have to be like, you know what? Three hours before my plane even leaves. Por que no escapascal Go pas, amigas? With my luck and with your luck. Wait, but what ended up happening? Did you guys find, like, his ticket or.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yes, they finally. Yes, he's here. And they finally. We got the confirmation code, but it took forever, but we got it, and I'm just happy we made onto the plane. Oh, my God. I forgot that even after all of that, we still had to go to run to our actual boarding station. Tell me why. It was all the way at the back, all the way at the back, and I didn't want to take the train. I'm like, that train's not going to help me for shit. No, I regretted not taking that damn train.

[Alan Eist]

Were you running?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, my God, we were running. I fell twice in front of everybody, and they all were all looking. My bestie was like, the. Y'all looking at, like. And I was like, y'all never seen the beautiful, like, and then you get.

[Alan Eist]

To LA and it was all ghetto, all this trouble for this, you guys? Because we were talking off of camera and we were talking about how, like, it's the first time in LA with what they were expecting. What was it like? As soon as you guys walked out.

[Jesse Alvarez]

The airport, we get to la. The hotel was everything. It was cute, it looked expensive, but it was cheap. We walk out to go, like, actually go do stuff in la. No, there's homeless people out there everywhere. You look over here, over there. I know. Tell me why someone was jenning. I know. No, someone outside of your hotel. I know. When we Were walking.

[Alan Eist]

I'm like, damn. They're like, welcome to la.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then we were walking. And tell me why someone flipped. A homeless man flips off my bestie. I'm like, we look the other way. Cause I'm like, I'm not trying to get killed right now. Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

If you guys have never been to la, it's not like this crazy, like, oh, my God. Quiero ya Los Angeles. It's cute. I think it is, like, a vibe. But you know what it is? I think it's like, with any other city where, like, let's say, like, for me, right? Since I grew up in the area, like, to me, LA is like nothing. Where I'm like, you know, like, oh, my God, I don't even want to go to la. Like, I already know the vibes, but I do, you know, like, let's say for like, Florida, right? Like, let's say the really big cities in Florida. Like, I'm like, oh, my God. Yo, kiddo, eat. Yo, kiddo, eat. But all the people that live there are like, stay home.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Save your money.

[Alan Eist]

Literally. But it's like one of those things. But I'm glad you guys made it. I'm super excited. Excited. We actually had planned this. I hit you up a while back.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yes.

[Alan Eist]

Like three months ago.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

And at the time, you guys, he was like, what was your reason?

[Jesse Alvarez]

We all call him out? Okay. I was just nervous.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And that August was when I really started gaining followers.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Because of school. Get ready with me. Whatever. And then I'm like, hi. Because I made to get rid of me. I'm like, the only podcast I would be on is this one. I love Alan. I grew up watching him. Like, once you texted me, I started screaming like, my little brother's like, what are you screaming? I'm like, alex just followed me. And then I started screaming. I'm like, alan just texted you. Like, I'm like, what? I was just scared. I'm like, I'm gonna come on here and I'm gonna have nothing to talk about. I'm gonna be this boring ass person. Nobody's gonna like me.

[Alan Eist]

He was like, I just feel like no one's gonna know me. And I'm like, no. And I think that's what I love the most about the podcast. Because I can have you right here and I can see you online and, like, only know what I know about you online. But the moment you leave, I'm like, wow. Like, I learned so much about him. Literally, that wasn't online. Or maybe if you did say all these things online, like, you know what I mean? So, like, to me, I mean, cantamigas, like, because I really do get to meet my guests on a deeper level.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Well, I'm Jesse Alvarez and I make get ready with me's on TikTok. I'm from a small town called Dawton and it's located in Georgia. And if some of you guys don't know me, just stick around to get to know me a little bit better.

[Alan Eist]

Vamos en pesar con el chis Por que yosa queso encanta. I'm going to start off with the first question that I always love starting with, because I feel like it's super important. How is Jesse, like, growing?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay. When I was younger, I was not always an outgoing person. I was like this little shy kid who had no friends in school. Obviously, it took me a while to get my confidence, but as a little kid, I was like, I know friends. I would talk to nobody. I would say to myself, and I wouldn't talk to anybody unless they talk to me. But as I got older, yeah, I can go up to somebody to actually talk to now. Yeah, I can, like, have a conversation and carry it on pretty well. But as a kid, I was not able to do that. I was on a little bigger side, and I was not the prettiest type of person. It's not somebody that I don't know. Since I was a little big, I thought that people would judge me or like, even if I even tried talking to them. Like, why is he talking to me? But yeah.

[Alan Eist]

You mean like, you were like, overweight type of thing?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

As a kid?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

Do you feel like that affected you because, like, comoises you kind of would close off yourself or would people make fun of you or was it just kind of more internal thoughts?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like it was more internally, but I could still feel people judging. You know, it's like you're not saying it, but I can hear you.

[Alan Eist]

And I feel like as kids, nostra mamos mucho, because I grew up, you know, always being overweight. But as a kid, I was very much like you. You know, I was very much like, oh, my God, like, I don't even wanna do the most because then people are gonna judge me and the first thing they're gonna come for me is my weight. Did you always feel like you had to kind of almost be on, like, defense mode because of that?

[Jesse Alvarez]

If you're a bigger person, you always feel like you say something wrong, they'll come at you because you're a little big.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And that's. I feel like that's how it always was.

[Alan Eist]

Do you feel like you grew up kind of hearing the. Oh, tasgordito mi.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, my God.

[Alan Eist]

And that does not help.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No. There are things like, oh, it's a little cute thing to say. No. I feel like it engraves into your brain.

[Alan Eist]

It does.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. As you get older, too.

[Alan Eist]

What was it like growing up in Dalton, Georgia?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay.

[Alan Eist]

Because that looks like a small ass.

[Jesse Alvarez]

City I've never met.

[Alan Eist]

I think you're like the first person I have ever met that's from Georgia.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Dalton. I feel like it's a really good town to live in because some towns will have like one restaurant and maybe like a Walmart like 50 miles away. But Daen really has, like, a lot of restaurants even has a Walmart offer, like a little drive. It's like three minutes max and you're already at a Walmart. We're at a freaking, like, McDonald's. It's a good city because it's mostly Hispanics and I feel safer there. All my family is Hispanic and I feel like we all get to relate to each other.

[Alan Eist]

Have you guys always lived there or where you guys, like, move along?

[Jesse Alvarez]

We've always lived there. I was born and raised there. I feel like that's a really good. Because I feel like a lot of Hispanics there work under the table. So. Yeah, it's like the perfect town. Honestly, I'm not even just saying that, but it's like a good town.

[Alan Eist]

Did you like growing up there? Like, what was it like in the Centido? You're like, oh, my God. You know, I was able to be out late because, like, it was a small city and everyone trusted each other. Or did your mom be like.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I'm thankful that my mom always, like, lets me go out. She, like, she has trust in me and I'm really thankful for that because I feel like a lot of parents don't have enough trust on their kids.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Because they think they're out partying or doing something bad when they're in reality, they're just hanging out with their friends. Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

And some partying.

[Jesse Alvarez]

They don't know, though.

[Alan Eist]

They don't gotta know that part.

[Jesse Alvarez]

They're like.

[Alan Eist]

Me all exposing you to your mom now your mom's all gone about, you know, you're coming out story. But before we get to talk about, like, you actually coming out, I want to talk about what your life was before you came out. You realized you were different than, like, Your friends and people around you. When it came down to your sexuality, do you remember, like, a moment where you're like, oh, I'm different? Like, was there a moment for you like that?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wasn't like the other kids. I didn't like soccer. I didn't like the trucks. I didn't like blue. I was more of a person who liked makeup. Doing your hair, you know, like, just pink.

[Alan Eist]

Like, girlier stuff.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. More feminine stuff. I feel like it's not coordinated to a specific gender, but, you know. Yeah. I feel like I always knew as a kid because I was already in elementary. I'm like, damn, he's mine. But, yeah, I'm like, I can't even.

[Alan Eist]

Did you ever feel like you had to hide that part of you? What was that like, you know, cuenta. No. And aspecto that you were like, okay, I know I'm different, but also at the same time, like, maybe me being different isn't gonna be accepted. Was there moments where you felt like you had to hide who you were?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yes. In elementary, I was always this little kid who would try to hang out with the boys. Boys, like, be part of the. The boys who would play soccer and do the basketball, the sports stuff. But eventually I grew up. I was like, no, I can't live like this. It's not the real me. I was always hiding that part of me because deep down, I always wanted to do. I wanted to wear what I wanted. I wanted to do my hair, do my makeup, do all of this. And it wasn't actually until, like, high school where I started showing it, I was like, okay, no, it's time.

[Alan Eist]

Did you ever date girls? I had, like, about maybe, like, six, seven girlfriends growing up. And I feel really bad saying it, but a lot of it was to, like, distract from the. Or hide the fact that I was, like, gay. Was that a thing that you had too?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Honestly, not really. Because every time someone would ask me, like, what do you think this girl's hot? I'm like, yeah, she's hot. I'm like, I don't care. And then, no. I mean, yeah, I did date this one girl, but it was like a dare. But I feel like it was. I don't know. Let me tell you. Okay, I know. Let me tell you. Tell me why I hit up this one guy on Instagram. Like, damn, he was fine. But nobody knew I was, like, out yet. Right?

[Alan Eist]

It was like, low key vibes.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, it was low key vibes. Ilo tell me why my girlfriend text me. She's like, why are you texting this man saying he's fine? I'm like, where the did you find that? That wasn't me. But no, it was a screenshot of. It's like that man saw that I had her in my bio or my story, something like that, and went and snitched.

[Alan Eist]

Did you come out to her at that moment? Oh.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And I remembered. I'm like, he's just my celebrity crush because he had, like, 3,000 followers. That's a celebrity. And I remember her telling me, like, that's not a celebrity. I'm like, no, my husband, they have, like. But yeah, that's, like, the only time I ever had, like, a girlfriend.

[Alan Eist]

Did you guys ever get to the point where you guys were, like, holding hands or kissing or any of that?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, yeah, we would hold hands, but we never, like, kiss or did anything. And I think when I just ended it, I'm like, no, I can't do it anymore.

[Alan Eist]

Like, I can't keep lying to you.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, no.

[Alan Eist]

I was really good with, like, avoiding them at all costs. Ah. We would date, but, like, so it was a lot of them. Well, almost all of them were girls from my school. And then when we would start dating, I would kind of, like, do my thing. Like, if they would, like, oh, let's hang out after school, I'd be like, oh, I can't. My mom's picking up. But, like, I would leave earlier, so, like, they wouldn't be like, where are you? And I think from all the girls I had, I only, like, kissed one of them. I think she was very much like. I think she was getting told, like, oh, no. I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to get caught up. I'm going to get caught up. And you know what's so funny, though? I always say this with that specific girl. I always did feel like I kind of liked her. But later on, because she cheated on me.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I know, but I.

[Alan Eist]

You know what it was? I did feel like, some type of connection because she would give me a lot of attention. You know, it was someone that I was always talking to.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

When she cheated on me and she told me kind of like, her reasoning. I've always said this, but, like, there's this one statement that she said to me that literally, I was like, she gagged me.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I was like, oh, my God.

[Alan Eist]

She literally was like, you know what? I fell in love with their friendship, not you.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh.

[Alan Eist]

Today's episode is brought to you by Alma Alma believes that therapy is more impactful when you feel heard and understood. That's why they help people find a therapist who really gets them the right someone to talk to. Not just anyone. ALMA can help you find a therapist who gets you. When you browse the directory you can filter by what you want to focus on example, anxiety, relationships or big life transitions as well as any preference around gender, sexuality and more. ALMA can help you find a therapist who takes your insurance People who find in network care through ALMA save an average of 77% on the cost of therapy. This way you can focus on your search on finding someone who feels like the right fit for you without worrying about affordability. It's easy to get started with alma. Browse the directory without creating an account or sharing payment information. You can book a free consultation call with any therapist your interested in seeing. These 15 minutes call give you a chance to see if they're a good fit for you so you can find someone you really click with. Even though I'm currently not in therapy, I know the importance of having someone in my life who truly understands where I'm coming from. I know sometimes while going through life confusing moments to open up to anyone near you because pienzas que vana jus gar o pienzas que simplemente no te ban entender where you're coming from. So I really do feel like therapy is a great way for you to seek help help and feel hurt that I've been going through it in Holas Ultima mente estado considering going to therapy. If you've been considering finding a licensed professional to help you work through your own life challenges, give ALMA a try. ALMA can help you find the right therapist for you, not just anyone. Visit hello Alma.com Alan to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello Alma.

[Jesse Alvarez]

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[Alan Eist]

So maybe that that's what I was like.

[Jesse Alvarez]

You know what you're just a friend.

[Alan Eist]

Yes y'all friend zone.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I know.

[Alan Eist]

I think to me that moment was like, okay, that's what that is. Like you felt something and you were hurt by her actions, but it was because you were in love with like, the friendship. Because Yono Keria Ni be Sarla Yoni Keria Quebec like through text I was like, babe, I love you though.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I was like, I don't know you.

[Alan Eist]

You always were into like the more girlier stuff, the makeup. What was like your first memory of makeup? And what was the moment where you're like, you know what?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay, well, I grew up watching my mom do her makeup and when she would go like work, I would always go into her room, play with her makeup and I'm like, I gotta take it off before she comes all scared and she's like, ah, she knows I play with her makeup. But no, I always watched her do her makeup, getting ready, taking her pics. My damn. Like, I'm trying to be like that too. But eventually I met a friend and she really influenced me to start doing makeup. She also started doing tiktoks, right? She started doing makeup like that and I was like, I really want to get into makeup too. And she really inspired me to like, just do it. Like, go get yourself some cheap makeup from Walmart and film something in post it. And I did it. And then it really did pay off because then I'm really grateful for her because she has been there since sixth grade. Like, she really influenced me. Like she helped me grow into the person I am today, if I'm being honest.

[Alan Eist]

Would you wear makeup to school like this?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, like this? At first, no. All I did was wear like a cute little like curio lash, some lip gloss, and then I cut it a full B. That was my full B. Yeah. In high school. Well, it's freshman year. Freshman year. No, I would not wear anything like this ever. I would not. I feel like people are always looking, judging, you know, I feel like you have to grow into it. The first time I wore makeup to school, I obviously I built my way up and wearing makeup to school, right? I started off doing simple lip gloss with eyelashes, mascara. And then eventually I'm like, okay, fuck it, let's go full beat to school. And then I finally go to school and I feel like everybody's just looking and judging at you. And then freshman year, I still had like, I was still a little self conscious. I was still more on the shyer side and I still wouldn't talk to people like that, but people would compliment to like, oh, your makeup looks bomb. And like in my head, I'M like, are they lying, or they're, like, saying that to make fun of me?

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

But no, eventually I just grew to, like, stop caring and just do it.

[Alan Eist]

How was it like at home? Do you feel like your parents kind of accepted the fact that you were digging and getting into makeup, or did you feel like for a while, you kind of had to keep that a secret from them?

[Jesse Alvarez]

First off, my mom, I always knew. I always talked to her. I'm like, I always wanted to do social media, but I never told her what I wanted to do social media for. And obviously it was makeup, but she didn't know that. And at first, I would do. I think I started doing makeup makeup, like, during Halloween because I'm like, oh, it's just for Halloween. Like, it's not. I'm not gonna go out with it, girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nothing real, but, you know, I'm like, it's because I want to do it for real, for real. And I think I started during Halloween, and my mom's like, okay, then I'll help you buy some stuff to help you start off do it. I'm like, okay, then. And at the back of my head, I'm like, oh. Then she probably almost like, I'm like a little Rudy, because she's buying me makeup, and I'm a boy doing makeup. I'm like, okay, she gets the hint. Yeah. She was always, like, really supportive. And when I finally told her I'm like, I do makeup because I like to do makeup. At first, she was like, a little like. I feel like a parent thinks they know everything about their kids, and when they find out something that they didn't know, they take that deep, and they don't know what to do with it. So I think they're confused at first.

[Alan Eist]

Especially because I feel like it's something, you know, obviously, I feel like it should be normalized, but I feel like, you know, as parents, like you said, I feel like parents don't always get, like, the instruction manual of, like, how you should, you know, kind of react in situations. And when you throw them a curveball, like, oh, your son is now playing with makeup. It's kind of like, hold the fuck up. I thought he was doing that shit for fun. Now he wants to wear it every day. How was it like with your dad? Do you feel like your dad kind of took it a little harder?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay. So I actually don't even live with my dad, so I live with my mom and my stepdad, and my mom, she's really supportive. She. Even that compliment was like, damn, what you do. Like, you don't look that without it. And then. Yeah, it's just. She's really supportive of me wearing makeup. See, even when we're out at a restaurant and someone's looking at me, so I'd be like, give my face back. Like, I remember one time we were at Golden Girl, and she was like, she's caught a man just looking at me weirdly. She's like, what are you looking at? I'm like, so she really does support me. And I. I feel like I'm really grateful and lucky to have a parent like that because I feel like a lot of gay little boys, they don't have a supportive system like that.

[Alan Eist]

How is it with your stepdad? Do you feel like he was a little accepted of it, or was he a little taken back just because, you know, it was a little different than what maybe he was used to?

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, I feel like he also doesn't really care because, you know, it's like, neil, am I biologically code? But, like, he takes care of me. Like, I'm still his biological kid. And I'm also really grateful for that because I don't know where we would be without him, too. But, yeah, I think he does support it because he doesn't say anything bad about it.

[Alan Eist]

Nos cuenas un poquito de que puesto papa. You know, Is it in the picture? Do you have, like, any type of communication with him or.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, I actually haven't texted him in a while. But that's because as a kid, a lot of people don't know that I lived in Mexico for, like, the fattest. Wow. I was here for elementary school. I left, like, a second grade, and I went to Mexico for, like, one or two years. My mom came back to the United States because she wanted to work and find us a better life. Life because we did live in the United States, but my dad got deported. So then we just all decided to go to Mexico, live there for a while. But then my mom was like, no, we need a better life. She went to the United States all by herself. No money, no nothing. And I will forever be grateful for that. Me and my two other siblings, we stayed with my dad in Mexico. It wasn't until, like, a couple months after that, she actually was like, hey, I'm ready for at least two of them to come with me. And she took me and my older brother with her to the United States.

[Alan Eist]

How was that? Like, you know, cuentas that you grew up In Mexico a little bit, you know, what was it like living in Mexico? Did you like it or did you miss your mom? Every day. Cuentas o puentemazeso.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like I'm such. Like, I need my mom. I cannot live without my mom. Like, I don't know what I would do without her. And like, every time I think about the day she's gonna be gone, I think about the day that I will also be gone. Like, when my mom leaves this earth, I think a piece of me will also leave. So going that long of a while without my mom is like, what I would do. Like, I don't have my mom. I'm also grateful for my dad, but I feel like we weren't always the closest. Like, there's some things he doesn't know about me, and I feel like he doesn't know me on a real level. I don't even know if he knows I'm like, gay. Like, he doesn't know I do any of makeup. I don't think he knows any of that. Actually. Sometimes I have not talked to him since, like, oh. Cause he cheated on my mom with her cousin. I'm like, I know. And after that, I feel like I just can't talk to him the same. Like, we had this family and you just decided to go, we're in it for somebody else and over there and they have a family. And I feel like once he got a new family, he just forgot about his old family that he has with us.

[Alan Eist]

Como cres que ta effectado? You know, with your dad being present in your life, do you feel like that affected you in any way?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like not having your dad also is something that a lot of people will use against you, especially when you're a gay boy. They'll be like, oh, you don't have your dad in your life.

[Alan Eist]

Your dad must be so proud.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. Like, your dad is home. You know, I learned to. I don't need to rely on him for anything because my mom has always fought hard for us. And yeah, I don't. I don't. I don't think I need him.

[Alan Eist]

I love that. I love Que puesto mama. From the start, she has always been super supportive. Hablando, you know, about your coming out story that you came out on Thanksgiving day. Quenta.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No.

[Alan Eist]

So. So paint as a story, paint as a picture. What was it like? And you're like, you know what? I want to tell my mom what's up? And what was their initial reaction?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Well, I feel like I Got caught being gay more than me actually coming out.

[Alan Eist]

Okay.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Because I remember it was Thanksgiving morning. My mom calls me to the living room. She's like, jesse, come here. And I'm like, oh, I'm in trouble. And then she picks up her phone, and she shows me this picture. It's a picture of me wearing eyelashes and makeup. I'm like, oh, shit. She caught me, like, for real wearing makeup and shit like that. And after that, I was like, what do I tell her? I'm like, I can't lie because I'm literally wearing a full beat. Like, oh, no, it's just for fun. No, she's gonna know, and then I'll just. I just told her I'm like, mom, I'm gay. And then I feel like she took that and she needed a second to process it, because at first she told me that she thought I was trans. Because, you know, Hispanic mothers, they don't really know a lot about, like, the spectrum.

[Alan Eist]

They'll start talking like, oh, quier ser mujer. Especially with the makeup.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. And she was like, why didn't you tell a doctor when you were young? I'm like, I'm not trans. I'm a boy who likes boys too, and who likes to play with feminine stuff. I feel like there's certain parts where. Or certain times where I feel like, oh, damn. I feel like she's disappointed in me. But eventually I look over, I'm like, no, it's just me overthinking because. Because I can tell she really cares for me. She really takes care of me. But I don't think there was ever a time where I'm like, oh, this person doesn't like me because I came out. Because I feel like a lot of people around me already knew. So when I told my mom. When I told my mom, like, okay, I'm gonna just tell her right now, because I think she already knows. I'm over here playing with makeup for fun. Like, I'm a boy playing with makeup. Obviously, you put two and two together and you know. But no, whenever she told me that, she told me she didn't know. She didn't know at all. I'm like, you don't even, like, bffr. You sure? Like, I'm here for. I have a full beat on. I have a makeup desk. I was really surprised when she told me that she didn't even know. I was like, I really thought you knew. But, no, I never thought she was disappointed at first. Like I was saying at the beginning, I'm like, a Parent thinks they know everything about you.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And I feel like that's the case with her. I think she knew. Like, I think she thought she knew everything about me. So when I really told her that I was gay, she. She took it more like, oh, I was my confirmation.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

I think it happens a lot, especially, you know, with parents, because Iwalito. I feel like especially a lot of boys in makeup, we get that same reaction, you know, when they started seeing that I was glamming their first thing again. They're like, he wants to transition. You know, quiere poner se una panos gen tre las patas? And I'm like, no, mi amo. I like what I have. I just love the feeling that makeup gives me. And I feel like it's something that, you know, sometimes can get a little misinterpreted, especially by, like, Hispanic parents, because to them, it's very, like, black or white. You know what I mean? It's either you're a boy and you like women, or you're a girl and you like men. Like, there's no. Like you said, there's no in between. Like, they don't see or they can't understand, you know? Was there a moment where you kind of sat down with your mom or your family? Were you like, look, mom can explain it to her. So what was that?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay. I remember we were on vacation this one time. It was me and my family. We were right there, sitting on the edge of the beach on some chairs. She just asked me, like, did you really know you were gay your whole life? I'm like, yes, I really always knew, and I really thought you knew too. But now she just. Apparently, she really just didn't know. When we were sitting now, I was like, you really thought I was trying to transition from a boy to a girl? She was like, yeah, I feel like you wanted to be a girl. I'm like, no. And I told her, I'm like, no, I'm just a boy who likes boys. And then I feel like after that, I really confirmed everything for her. She's like, oh, no, he's just a feminine boy who likes boys.

[Alan Eist]

I'm glad that you were able to have that relationship with her, because not everyone is fortunate enough to have understanding parents, or just in general parents that are willing to, like, sit down and learn about what their children is going through, because that is very much like, no, no, no, no, no. Que tus. It does take a lot from a parent to be like, you know what? Know what? I need to understand My son and I need to make sure that he feels like he's understood. You know, coming out, it can be something super scary. That can also be something super dark, hard to navigate. Do you feel like you had any struggles when it came down to your coming out story?

[Jesse Alvarez]

If so, when I came out, I thought I was going to live this free life. I'm like, okay, everybody I finally know knows. But no, I feel like once I finally came out, it came with all of its struggles too. It came with positivity, but it also came with a lot, a lot of, like, bad times in my life. I remember one time I was. My friends, we were just having a good time, and I started getting comments like, oh, you need to, like, get this fag off of live. Like, get this bag out of here. And I feel like my brain really just took that and it made me think, like, nobody really liked me. And I feel like nobody had my back at that time. I really thought that was gonna be, like, one of those times where I'm like, no, it's my time. I gotta go. I feel like a lot of homophobia can really affect you as a little gay boy, especially when you're still young. I just didn't know what I was thinking. If it wasn't for one of my friends, I feel like I honestly wouldn't be here right now.

[Alan Eist]

Like, you were trying to commit suicide. Queue lo que estavas plando said, like, if you don't mind talking about.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I remember I sent her a message. I'm like, hey, I think I'm gonna go on a walk. And when I was gonna go on that walk, I think I was just gonna go and just. Just find something that just stopped me from living.

[Alan Eist]

I feel like, you know, especially going online can be something, you know, I'm sure at that moment, you know, you felt accepted by your family and the people close to you. But then you get online, you see all these comments. Maybe you had a moment of, like, realization where you're like, oh, maybe I'm not truly fully accepted, you know, that you tried to take your life. Was there a moment where, like, you kind of snapped out of it and you kind of realized, like, no, I'm here for a reason. Like, I can't be having these negative thoughts in my head.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, yeah, definitely. I feel like it takes. It takes a while for you to find a group who will accept you and build you up too. Like, build each other up. And once I found these people, I feel like they really helped me become the person I AM today. And they really do help me be me and feel like I can be me in front of them. Freshman year, I did have this group where I really thought they accepted me for, you know, wearing makeup, being gay. But they were always friends with the. The really boys who would try to be gangster and whatnot. Like I was telling you, we was. We was on live, we was on life. Those girls are all followed by the boys, and obviously they see a gay boy here, they're all gonna hate. And I feel like it was a lot of people in that live and they were all just commenting like, get him out of here. We don't want him here. And some people have been telling me to, like, go. Go kill yourself. They were telling me, like, we don't even want you here. You're a waste of the air here on this earth. And they would. I feel like they really used that against me.

[Alan Eist]

What were the girls, you know, Dos Amigas and Ese Momento, when they would see these comments where they kind of like, defend you, or would they kind of like, just turn an eye and sesamensas.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Since they weren't in my position, I think they took it as a joke. They were like, oh, they're just joking. They laughed it off. But I feel like you can't laugh something off like that when you're the one in the position of being there.

[Alan Eist]

Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm Monet X Change. And we are the hosts of Sibling Rivalry. This is the podcast where two best friends gab, talk smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. You know, we are family, so we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter to interracial dating to other things. Right, Bob? Yes, and it gets messy and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Civic Bribery, available anywhere you get your podcast you can listen and subscribe for free.

[Jesse Alvarez]

For free, honey. Hi, bald. It's me, Trixie Mattel, skinny legend and board certified H Vac sommelier.

[Alan Eist]

And me, Katya Zamolechikova, the sweatiest creature in showbiz. Reminding you to subscribe to the Bald and the Beautiful podcast.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Listen as we cover topics as varied as proper bidet usage, celebrity impression tutorials, and a television show I recently watched that I'll base my entire personality on for six weeks. As well as creative pest control, tasty limeade recipes, and fun sex act trends. We also chat about boobs and movies and wigs. And stuff, which is obviously the public service part of the podcast.

[Alan Eist]

So get ready.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Ready for screaming, cackling and some occasional.

[Alan Eist]

Educational moments as two massively unqualified queens talk about what it's like to be the epitome of fabulous. Go subscribe to the Bald and the.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Beautiful with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zomolochkova on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you're listening right now. I feel like eventually we did get over it, but I feel like it really did take a really big toll on how I viewed myself and viewed that group of friends.

[Alan Eist]

Ovia mente y no pasas poresto. And I'm so happy that now you're able to really be your show. You know, not just, you know, the people that love you, but even the. All the people that maybe don't know you in person, but that love you through the camera like you really are able to show them who you really are. What do you think is a piece of advice you can give to someone who is still closeted at this moment that feels like, you know, they can't come out for whatever reason or are scared or feel like they might get judged? What's a piece of advice you can tell them?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like first you have to really take your time because you never know how your parents are going to react. React. Maybe they'll kick you out, or maybe they'll be like, it's okay, I knew I'm here for you. I'm still your parent. But just in case, always have a backup plan and have someone you can always go talk to. But also, don't rush it because this is something really. This is a really big part of your life. It's literally with you for the rest of your life.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

So it's like, don't just rush into it. And I feel like there never is a right time to come out. I feel like eventually it just comes out because. Because you feel forced to say it. I feel like people know you are, but sometimes you just gotta confirm it and just take your time with it. But there's never a right time.

[Alan Eist]

I think that is very important that taking your time, because, you know, sometimes people might be like, come out already. Come out. Like, you really won't know how you're gonna react to the situation. So I do really feel, you know, if anyone is watching at home, you know, like you said, not everyone might have this beautiful acceptance story where it's like, oh, my mom and my dad accepted me. Like they were okay with it. I muncha gente que sufre. And their whole coming out process is a really hard one. And I feel like if you're in that position, like you said, I feel kind of ease into it to see kind of how they would react when you finally confirm. Because I do think and I do believe there's a big difference. Like, your parent can be like, you can think like, oh, my parents, they know I'm coming gay, like, oh, they know I'm lesbian. Or they know that you're different, you know, but there is a big difference when you finally confirm it, you know what I mean? Like, you never know, you know, abece uno como padre. That maybe might not be as accepting. They might be like, okay, I know, but since it's not confirmed, I'm gonna act like I don't see what I see. You know what I mean?

[Jesse Alvarez]

And sometimes they want to ignore that.

[Alan Eist]

Exactly. So, like, sometimes you, if you're in that position, you know, cuando. And also make sure you know what I mean. Because not everyone is fortunate enough to have accepting parents. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. Alma believes that therapy is more impactful when you feel heard and understood. That's why they help people find a therapist who really gets them the right someone to talk to. Not just anyone. Alma can help you find a therapist who gets you. When you browse the directory, you can filter by what you want to focus on. Example, anxiety, anxiety, relationships, or big life transitions. As well as any preference around gender, sexuality, and more. Alma can help you find a therapist who takes your insurance. People who find in network care through ALMA save an average of 77% on the cost of therapy. This way you can focus on your search on finding someone who feels like the right fit for you without worrying about affordability. It's easy to get started with Alma. Browse the directory without creating an account or sharing payment information. You can book a free consultation call with any therapist you're interested in seeing. These 15 minutes call give you a chance to see if they're a good fit for you so you can find someone you really click with. Even though I'm currently not in therapy, I know the importance of having someone in my life who truly understands where I'm coming from. I know sometimes while going through life confusing moments. Abeces es muy difficil to open up to anyone near you. Because pienzas que te vana jus gar. Oh, pienzas que simplemente no te ban entender where you're coming from. So I really do feel like therapy is a great way for you to seek help and feel hurt that I've been going through it in holes. Considering going to therapy. If you've been considering finding a licensed professional to help you work through your own life challenges, give Alma a try. Alma can help you find the right therapist for you. Not just anyone. Visit hello Alma.com Allen to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello, Alma. About you in school. How are you in school? You know, when we think about, you know, Jesse in school, how were you? Do you feel like you were popular? Were you, like, the outcast? Did you get in any fights in school?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay, pues, in elementary, like I told you, I was always a shy, timid kid. I feel like nobody wanted to talk to me because I'm a little big. Middle school came around. I'm still finding, like, who am I? Who do I want to be? And in school, I was never popular. I was never someone who everybody knew until we got to high school and I started doing TikTok. I feel like once I started doing TikTok, that's when people really like, oh, I want to be friends with it. Maybe I can get a little, like, a little bit of clout. Yeah. And that's why I like to keep my circle really small. I have my friend group and that's it. Like, I have school friends, but I. I won't hang out with you. Like, I won't. You know what I mean?

[Alan Eist]

I won't tell you my secret.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I'm not going to tell you everything about, like, we'll be acquaintances.

[Alan Eist]

Like, I know you, you're chill, but.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, keep your distance. But like I said, I was never popular. And I wasn't popular until I started popping off on Tik Tok, which was like the end of sophomore year. And people were like, texting like, hey, you. You want to hang out sometime? Like, no.

[Alan Eist]

You're like, no.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, no.

[Alan Eist]

I'm like, what was that energy a couple years back?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, where was it? And I find it so weird that even some of the people who used to tease me and bully me are the same ones texting me, asking me for advice on how to start TikTok or just content creation in general. And I always find I always end up blocking them because what do you mean? You were coming at me, making fun of me for being who I am, and now you're trying to hang out and getting advice from me.

[Alan Eist]

How were you in school when it came down to, like, academics? Do you feel like you were a studioso, were you a little mancito vibes, like, how was that? Like, did you. You like school in that aspect?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I like going to school because I like hanging out with my friends. Let's be real. We don't like going to school because we like to do the homework. We don't like to, you know, do the actually work. We want to be there, eat chips and cheese. Miyado's friend. Like, who's. Who's there for the academics, you know, but academically, I feel like I always try to stay on top of it because I feel like if you are a son or a daughter from an immigrant, like any immigrant, I feel like you feel like you're forced to do good in school. Like, you always have to be on top of it because you owe your parents everything. I feel like I owe my mom everything.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, the least I could do is at least graduate high school with good grades.

[Alan Eist]

Like, that's the bare minimum you can.

[Jesse Alvarez]

That's the bare minimum.

[Alan Eist]

What was your favorite subject growing up?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I had a. Yeah, I do have a favorite subject, and it's actually science because it's the easiest, you know.

[Alan Eist]

Really? You think science is easy? Yes, I feel like that was my, like, least favorite. Especially when you get into like, calculus and you get into like, like the higher up sciences where, like, they have equations. I know, me amor, I. So you're good with like the equations and all that stuff or more of like science, how?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like agricultural, you know, like, oh, I know a lot about the plants and these chemicals and what they do, the planets and animals, you know. But when it comes to like, adding math to them, I know you're like, don't even tell me about it.

[Alan Eist]

Wait, so math is like your least favorite?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it. Math is horrible for me. Like, Like, I remember I was so close to failing math last year. I'm like, oh, like, to the point.

[Alan Eist]

That you weren't gonna graduate.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

How was that? Like, cuenta, no so fuquito es so, you know, you get this pressure of like, oh, my God, si, no me pongo las pilas. I might not graduate. What was that like when you were like, oh, shit, I gotta get it together.

[Jesse Alvarez]

This year has been really hard for me academically because I fell into a space where I just didn't know. I just didn't know what I still wanted to be. I felt like I was really behind. But I finally, eventually I'm like, no, I need to get it together. This is my last year. I'm A senior. I need to at least graduate high school.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then I finally got it together, and I'm on my way to graduate.

[Alan Eist]

Mestabas contando anoche. You know that you got caught in middle school, you know, owning the school exposing page. There's always those exposing anonymous pages. So, you know, why did you first start it? And was there any moments where you're like, oh, my God, like, I almost got caught. And what was the moment when you finally got caught? And how did you feel in that moment? And how did people around you react to finding out that you were behind those pages?

[Jesse Alvarez]

A girl at my school actually made a page, right? And me and her used to be besties. And then we fell apart. We had all this little drama. And then I guess she made an exposed page and she put me on it. I'm like, oh, only she knows that. So obviously I knew it was her. So I made an exposed page to explain Expose the exposer. And that's actually what the page was called. Expose the Exposer. Eventually, yeah. I exposed the girl behind the exposing page. But now we're friends. Like, she's one of my closest friends, actually.

[Alan Eist]

So what would you guys do? Because I know. Okay, so right here, we used to have pages where they would call them, like, I grew up in a city called Santa Ana, so they would do, like, Santa Ana ratchets, right? And then you would send in anonymous. Anonymously, like a bitch you didn't like. And they would post it with, like, the caption you wanted. Was it something like that? Or was it more like other type of exposing?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, well, the exposures that I didn't own, the one that she was doing, she was just, like, putting pictures of us looking mad. And now looking back at, I'm like, damn, it's not that serious. It's like, it's just pictures.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then when I started my exposed bitch to expose her, I feel like I took it too far. I started exposing the people. I remember one time I was in gym, and I heard these boys talking and just saying the N word all the time. Oh, I'm gonna get my little five minutes of clout. So I recorded that, and I upload it onto the actual exposed page. And then it's this whole thing that's like, oh, there's this page. Exposing people now for doing things they probably shouldn't have, which is honestly, like, I'm a hero for that.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I was scared that people were gonna find out at first, right? Oh, what are they gonna think? Of me. And it was eighth grade, so it's like people still didn't know who I am. But eventually people started following me. That page, it got a little big for the school. I'm like, that's a good page.

[Alan Eist]

Like, everyone was keeping up.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, everybody's keeping up. Like, what's next? Yeah, they wanted. But eventually, I don't know why, I decided to do a face reveal on the exposed page. Like, I'm exposing myself now.

[Alan Eist]

Oh, wait, so you exposed. Yeah, like no one was even in the verge of. Like, I think it might be Jesse. Like, no one ever suspected anything.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No. I remember there's one time they texted me on the actual page. They were like, we found your IP address so we know who you are. I'm like, eventually I just decided to post my face. At first I was like, oh, my God, I'm gonna just post it. Because the people like me and I posted it and. And no, it was the opposite. Like, we fucking knew it was you. And then that's when I started getting a little bit of hate in middle school. I remember one time this boy came up to me. The boy actually recorded. He came up to me in the hallway. He's like, oh, so you're the one doing all this recording and talking and all this? He's like, so what's up? He's like, are you trying to feel like you're being a pussy just posting it behind the screen? I'm like, you're like, that's the point. It like, no, but.

[Alan Eist]

So he wanted to fight you.

[Jesse Alvarez]

He wanted to fight, but me being a little, like little feminine boy, I'm like, I'm not trying to fight. Yeah, yeah, you're going to be mad.

[Alan Eist]

So he comes up to you and then what do you tell him? Like, how did you like, dismiss? Or did you guys get in a fight?

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, we didn't get into a fight. I've never been into a fight. I've been on verges of fights. But no, he tells me, okay, so come on, since you're so bold over a screen, go ahead and do something right now. And I was just like, oh my God, you're being crazy. I tried playing it off. Like, oh, it wasn't even me after the face. I'm trying posted my day.

[Alan Eist]

Like. Like, it's me.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then I know he comes to me and he really does want to fight for real. Like, I'm not about was my time. So I just go into the classroom. So I'm like, oh, there's a teacher right Here, I'm like, keep me safe. And, yeah, it. Thank God nothing happened after that because it was a bigger boy. Like, he knew how to fight. I'm like, I know you kind of expose yourself.

[Alan Eist]

Did anyone, like, see you different after that? They're like a. Be careful, Cornel.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Let me tell you. At gym, I was walking. I remember specifically. Basically this one girl I did not like. It was with a group of boys, and they walk past me. Tell me why. She looks around back at me, and she's like, careful, guys. He might expose us. I'm like, I, like, piss the fucking nerve you have. And tell me why. She texted me not even that long ago, being like, oh, my God, I love your content. Like, you're such inspiration. Like, get the fuck out of my video.

[Alan Eist]

About, you know, your experience. Experience in, you know, middle school and high school. Este ano. You know, that's when I kind of started seeing a lot of your content. When you started running for homecoming king, you know, you started, you know, also showing that part and that experience online. Yeah. So, you know, what was that whole experience? Like, what was it like when you're like, you know what? I want to run for homecoming king. And then what was it like when you actually. One.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Okay. So my freshman year, sophomore and junior boys were not allowed to run for prom king or even homecoming king. So it was always, like, something in the back of my head, like, I really want to run for one of those. So the first day of senior year, I go up to the new principal because we got new management. I go up to the new principal. I'm like, hey, are y'all gonna let boys run from homecoming king or even prom king? Because since I was a freshman, I was like, I want to do that. Like, I feel like it's a really cool experience.

[Alan Eist]

Wait, so namaste. Like homecoming queen girls, like, queens.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. And the queens actually got to choose the king because it was always their boyfriend or something. Is that even fair?

[Alan Eist]

So Sita Nyan, it was just not like a competition. Like, it wasn't like, okay, okay, okay.

[Jesse Alvarez]

There wasn't a voting process yet. So when I get caught up to the teachers, and she's in charge of, like, all of the, like, the games and the rallies and all that, right? And she's in charge of homecoming in prom. She tells me she's like, this year, we are finally going to do homecoming for boys. We all get an email. All the seniors, we have this email, right? They sent an email like, hey, nominate people for the court. And then I Voted. I did a little bit of promo, but this was all really fast paced. It all happened within like three days voting. It was announced you voted and then there your winner was there. I get called to the teacher's classroom and she's like, you were nominated for one of the homecoming courts. Like, you're one of the nominees to be homecoming king. And it was me, my best friend, and it was three other boys who did not like me or him because we were gay. I thought I was gonna lose to them because they're part of the sports and, you know, know I'm like, oh, they all have the group of boys. They're all going to vote for each other and they're all like, fuck that.

[Alan Eist]

Like, like, should I just drop out the raise?

[Jesse Alvarez]

But whenever voting was finally happening, I did a little bit on TikTok. I did a little bit on my Instagram because I feel like a lot of people from my school know me because obviously I do the social media stuff and I feel like that did give me an advantage. Okay. Whenever it came to them actually announcing the winner, in the back of my head I'm like, okay, maybe I can win this because of my social media stuff. But then on the back of my head I was like, no, they're all in these sports, they have these clubs. One was even, I think, the class president.

[Alan Eist]

KSB type of shit.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, he was a class president. I'm like, oh, so he already won something before he. How he not win homecoming king again. So when they're finally about to announce the winner, I'm like, oh, it's not even me. So they don't even get excited. And then I hear my name. I'm like, oh, my God, it's me. And I'm like, oh, my God. I've always wanted this since I was a freshman, but I feel like winning came with a lot of positivity, but it also came with a lot of negativity. When they said my name, like, Jesse Alvarez won. You could hear a lot of people clapping, but you can actually hear a lot of people booing. There was a big crowd section of just the boys that were all rooting for the boys, right? And tell me why. They say my name and they're finally, they're booing and they're all screaming, recount, recount. Revo. And all of that.

[Alan Eist]

And you can hear that.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, I can hear it. I can hear it. And then you. I can hear it too. Even in the back of some of my videos, you can actually hear them booing and saying stuff. And if you look closely into my homecoming vlog, you can see in the background there's some boys pointing and laughing at me. At the end of the day, I'm like, who has the crown? But that's not it.

[Alan Eist]

Like, stay mad.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. I'm like, you're just mad at when was like, even if the recount, they're going to vote for me again. So, like, I'm going to win again. And then I remember homecoming actually came up. Like, the homecoming dance. I didn't end up going because I feel like I was going to. I don't know. I didn't. I feel like I wasn't safe there because Snapchat has this one thing, you know, community stories for classes. Once I got home, I was checking the stories and they were all saying, like, recap. Now revote. We want a real man to win homecoming king. And even somebody took it as far as say, he should have won homecoming queen. And then, yeah, that's what really made me, like, not even want to go to home. The homecoming net. I'm like, don't even want me there. And tell me why. I was with my friends. We were having a little sleepover, right? And then I have all these people sending me videos. They're like, all the cars here have Revo on them. I'm like, am I talking out, kid? I'm much. You know, I've even made. I made videos about them. And I feel like the boys did way too much. Like, it's just a little plastic crown. You can go get your stuff one on Amazon.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah. Like, it's not that big.

[Jesse Alvarez]

It's not that big of a deal.

[Alan Eist]

Like, if you need a ego boost. Bad pinch Party city.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Literally, like, go get yourself a crown.

[Alan Eist]

Like, bitch, this is fake. I'll snap it.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, we all get a peeve. Literally. No, it was just a lot of negativity. I remember I would be going in the hallways and they would all be like, recount Revo. You know how, like, somebody's behind you. They'll say it.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

So you hear it, but they won't say it to you. Your face.

[Alan Eist]

Like, to be funny.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. To be funny with their friends. And I never really took it personal because I learned to deal with the hate because there's a lot out of it. What can we do?

[Alan Eist]

It never made you, like, sad. You're like, oh, shit. Like, people are very mad at something that makes me super happy.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I used my happiness as a way to cope with it. I was like, I wanted this since I was a freshman. Nobody's going to take away from this. I feel like I use my happiness to overlook all of the bad comments and stuff. And even then on social media. It's a whole different thing on social media than it is in person because like I said, it was a three day thing. They told us to vote for nominees. The second day they told us to vote for the actual homecoming king. And the third day they told the actual homecoming king. Obviously I didn't have time to look for any outfit or nothing. Not that like I remember I wore the outfit that I would always rewear and I took it to social media. I'm like, get dressed with me to go to homecoming and you know, get ready with me to go find out if I want homecoming king. And I'm wearing the outfit that I always wear because I'm like, I look cute in this. I already know I look good and I didn't think much of it. I'm like, okay, it's just another outfit nobody's going to remember. Nobody at school said anything bad about it. But when I took it to social media, there was videos about me being like, why did he wear this? They were comparing me to other people, other boys who also won homecoming king and what they wore versus to what I wore. They would be like, oh, you wore a T shirt and jeans but you won homecoming king. But what they don't know is that I didn't have time to choose anything. If I had the time, yeah, I would have gone out and bought a suit. I want to look cute. But no, I didn't have any time to do any of that. They were all talking shit on social media. Yeah, they were like, why did you wear that to win homecoming king? And it's like, I didn't have time to go choose anything. But I feel like nobody at my school used that against me because I'm telling you, they all knew that I had no time to choose anything. But the people online don't know anything. They didn't know that I had a three days to even choose anything. I had one day. And the teacher who actually told me I was even nominated, she told me like, hey, you don't have to dress out or anything. It's not, we're not making it a big huge deal. Like you don't even gotta dress out. So I'm like, okay, then I'll just wear something cute. But what's funny is the other boys were wearing basketball shorts and like chunk glass. I'm like. And they didn't care no, they didn't care. But you come at me, and I feel like I look the most presentable. Me and my friend look the most presentable. But they were coming, coming at us. I'm like, why are you coming at us when they're wearing basketball shorts and a T shirt too? No.

[Alan Eist]

But do you feel like. So no one at school made it a big deal?

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, no.

[Alan Eist]

It was just online. Do you feel like that kind of made your moment almost like bittersweet where you're like, I really wanted this. Like you said since freshman year. You get it, and it wasn't this beautiful moment that you imagined?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I thought, once, I want homecoming king, I was to feel satisfied. I even talked to my mom about it. I told her, I'm like, there's all this hate going on on social media and in real life. And she's the one that told me, the people on social media don't even know the real you. Like, they don't know what's going on behind the scenes. They didn't know that you had, like, less than a day to choose to wear something. And they don't know that. They told me not even to dress out. At one point, I did regret even running for homecoming king. I was like, damn, I really shouldn't have done this. Because, you know, no matter how strong you are and how good you are ignoring hate, I feel like eventually it'll catch up to you no matter who you are. I feel like since it's always right in your face, you. You don't know what to do. You just. It finally hits you.

[Alan Eist]

And then I feel like as human beings, you know, like, ob. If you have someone nagging at you or coming at you with something, that maybe you're like. Because I've been in that position so many times, you know, I've been like. And then you're like, there, lonely at night, and you're like, wait a minute, I feel this way. And they're calling me out on that. And it almost kind of like, oh, maybe it is true. You almost start to kind of like second guess yourself, and you're like, oh, maybe they are right. Maybe I shouldn't have read. Maybe I should have not posted. You know, but at the end of the day, I feel like with social media, it's so easy to let these people that don't know you, like, get the best of you.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Alan Eist]

And you kind of sometimes have to be like, you know what? You know what I've been doing lately? Not look at comments like, I'm Sorry for my tick tock fam. As soon as they start seeing a.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Video doing good, you gotta look away from the comments.

[Alan Eist]

On YouTube. I am very active because I feel like that's where I've created like my familia. But when it comes for like tick tock, I'm like, no, I already know people are coming with pitchforks. Like they're already coming at me from everywhere, literally everywhere. Because sometimes if it blows shows up, it'll get into the wrong people's FYPs.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

And girl, like, sometimes the comments ain't it, you know? Hablando de esto. You graduate high school? Did you want to go to college? Did you go to college, like, what your plans were after, you know, high school?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Well, I still haven't graduated, so. Yeah. Did you know that?

[Alan Eist]

I didn't know that.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, I was like writing down which college.

[Alan Eist]

Wait, you haven't graduated?

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, I haven't graduated, graduated. I'm still a senior right now.

[Alan Eist]

Okay, when did you graduate this year?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Well, yeah, I graduate in May of this year already.

[Alan Eist]

What are your plans for after high school?

[Jesse Alvarez]

You're like, I'm like, ah, no, I'm dumb as like, give me tik tok.

[Alan Eist]

By then it might not even exist.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I know, but I saw that maybe they're talking about it, but I have a plan and hopefully it works out. Yeah, I've always wanted to do this and finally now that I have it, it feels like it's being stripped away. Yeah, I'm like, I have it. I was able to quit my job and I. I was able to build a community who really know me and it's all being stripped away. And that was my plan after high school. I was like, okay, I'm going to use senior year to grow on TikTok and finally like use that as a career. But obviously social media can be a very unstable job. Like, you never know if you're going to flop, if you're going to like do good or if you're going to get deals to pay for everything that you have to. Since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to do social media after high school. Right now that's still is my plan because I never had an interest in college. Yeah, I'm like, I know it's too much. I already did it for 12 years. I did not. But yeah, no, I don't know if I plan on going into college.

[Alan Eist]

After what you heard about the TikTok ban, were you like scared?

[Jesse Alvarez]

You like, ah, no, it's scary because that's a lot of people's like that's where people's income come in.

[Alan Eist]

Exactly.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And now that they're taking away, like a lot of people are going to be unstable.

[Alan Eist]

You know what I saw? I saw TikTok and I'm only going to talk about it, you guys, because I've seen a lot of comments of people saying like, oh, I'm so happy that these influencers are finally going to get real jobs. Like, okay, that's fine. Ah, I'm like, catch me at McDonald's, I'm order. You're going to catch me there. No, but you know, it's so crazy because I feel like a lot of the people talking, all of that, like no magnitude, not even the, the how hard we work because it's, it's more of like the magnitude of how big this band is. Maybe you might not like this influencer, me or the next influencer, but you don't know how big the TikTok industry is and how many people that maybe don't show their faces online are employed because of how much money it generates. You know, there's people that have, that have businesses that were able to blow up things to tick tock, that have employees that package their, that do all of like the back end to like help that company run. Like, where are they going to get employees literally? Because it is like a, I think it's like a 17 billion dollar industry. The influencer industry. I can be wrong. 15 or 17, it's a really big industry that I feel like, like, okay, yeah, your favorite influencer might not, you know, have that, but there's a lot of people that are going to be affected by it. And it is a really scary thing to think about because you're like, where are you going to see me next?

[Jesse Alvarez]

McDonald's?

[Alan Eist]

What are your plans, like if it doesn't work out? Like let's say, because I think we're posting this in January, the first week and I think the TikTok ban supposedly goes in this month. We have three weeks to figure it out. But what are your plans after, like if it does go into effect?

[Jesse Alvarez]

If it goes into effect, I feel like there's always going to be something new. There's going to be a new app where you can focus on something else. But I feel like no other social media has an algorithm like TikTok. Like it gives opportunities to people who never had an opportunity to even, to even make money off of it.

[Alan Eist]

You know, Lando Etravajo before doing social media and before you actually, you know, making money off of it. Was there something you were doing before, like maybe like your first job or anything?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I feel like as a kid we all want to make our own money and we find ways to ask our parents for money. But then once I turn 14, I'm like, okay, I need a job. And then I think I posted on my story. I was like, does anybody know anybody who hires 14 year olds who will hire me? And someone stood up saying, I can hire you and you can work under the table. Obviously, being a 14 year old and being put in a position where you can make money, why would you not want to make money? You know?

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

So I got the job. I went to the interview, I ended up getting the job. And they would work the hell out of me.

[Alan Eist]

Yes, yes.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I was a dishwasher. As a dishwasher, I didn't get any, like, breaks because dishes are always coming in. They're always doing all that. Right. I would always work. They would schedule me from like 5 to 11, which is always a closing.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then I started to notice weird things coming from my manager. I always noticed that he talked to me ways that no other manager should be talking to you. And important. I remember one time I was washing the dishes and he comes and he slaps my ass. I was like. But me being the little 14 year old, I didn't know how to react to that. He was like in his 30s. And me being that young, I feel like I was really. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I just had to be there and let it happen. And then I remember we would make things and it would just make him weird. He would always do stuff. And I remember one time I really needed a ride home, but all of my family was sleeping and he was the only one there because we both closed. I was forced to ask him for a ride. I'm like, katie, can you take me home? And it was really short notice, but you're the only one here. And he accepts to take me home. I noticed on the ride to my house, he was touching me on my thigh. I'm like, I don't know what to do at that age because what do you even say to that? Yeah, how do you process that? Eventually he tried reaching in for a kiss. And after things, he just escalated. Things like that. And when the things actually happen, I feel like I couldn't tell anybody because at the time I wasn't out yet. I wasn't out to my mom, I was out to my friends. And I didn't even tell my friends. He ended up doing things to me that I didn't know how to say no to. Because I feel like, I mean, he's my manager, he can fire me. But then what do I tell my mom? Because I wasn't there for that long. I was there for like a month, I remember. So specifically, I was in school one day and I get caught up to the security's office. You know, like, you know how schools have an officer. He calls me and he says that there's a detective here looking for me. And I was like, why is there a detective looking for me? But I remember they hired this other boy there too. And I told him like, hey, you just want to be careful with the manager. Because he's like, weird. Yeah, yeah, he's weird. And I ended up telling him, I'm like, you just want to be careful. You don't want to be alone with him. I feel like I owe it to him because he told his mom for me without me knowing. And that's when they got the police involved. She hired a private investigator. That's when they called me to the office, right? And he tells me like, hey, somebody informed us of what happened to you and we just want to know if everything's true. Me being the scared little 14 year old, I didn't know how to be. Like, yes, that happened to me. I ended up telling that nothing happened and that I wanted to do everything because. Because. Because I didn't want anybody to look at me differently. My mom didn't know that I was even gay. So I was like, if I do tell them that this happened, they're going to tell my mom and my mom's going to find out. When I finally tell them that it was me, I wanted to do everything. I was hoping that they would just, okay, forget about it, drop the charges. I told him that some things happen and obviously a lot of that stuff is still illegal because I'm a 14 year old. You're over here being a 30 year old man. The person who actually owns a record restaurant. He called me to his office and he told me like, hey, I found out what happened with you and the manager. Do you want to work here? If not, I will fire him. And yeah, I was like, no, you need to tell him to leave. If not, I'm just gonna go ahead and go. And eventually he told me that, yeah, okay, I'll fire him. And yeah, he fired him. My brother was at home one day and he texted me when I was in class. Like, hey, there's a detective looking for you at home. And obviously I'm like, what the hell? And then did you know it was.

[Alan Eist]

Kind of connected to that?

[Jesse Alvarez]

I definitely knew it was connected, but he was like, why are they looking for you? And I was like, oh, it's just about a fight video that recorded. I was trying to hide it because they didn't know anything and I didn't tell them. I feel like it's something hard to say out loud because you don't know how people are going to react, and you don't want to be treated differently. You don't want people to feel pity for you or anything. My brother told me that they were looking for me at the house. I'm like, oh, what else? They tell me that they just want to know more about it. I ended up telling them to just drop everything. I'm like, I don't want anyone to find out about this. I don't want my mom to know anything. They dropped the case because I told them to drop it. But now, looking at it, I wish that I wouldn't have done that. And I remember me and my mom were arguing this one time because she was like, why did you quit your job? When I had a job, I was like, oh, I can buy my own things now. I got a new phone, made payments on it. And then when all of this happened, I had to quit the job. I'm like, where am I going to pay this phone out of now? My mom was the one paying it off. And we get into a little argument. She was like, why did you quit your job? You put me with this.

[Alan Eist]

This bill that I didn't expect. Yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Eventually I felt like I had to tell her. I'm like, she's making me feel like I wanted to quit the job. Like I wasn't able to pay my own bill. But that's when I finally told her. I'm like, I told her what happened. I told my mom. He did things to me that I didn't want her to know. Yeah, I didn't want her to find out about anything. She told me, why didn't I tell her? Because she feel like she knows that we're close, but she was like, why didn't you tell me? Instead, another mother was taking care of my own child, and she knew more about him than me. After that, she also wanted to reopen the case, but I told her, I'm like, hey, no, it's okay. And after that, I feel like she was also a little more careful with me. She would be a little more strict, like, hey, you have to be home by 10. Like, a little stricter.

[Alan Eist]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And obviously we're over that because I. I told him, like, yeah, I'm. I'm good. And then I remember going, calling one of my friends, the one I've been friends with in sixth grade. I called her, and I just start bawling my eyes out. I was like, how did I deal with this alone? I was bawling into that phone. I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know what to say. Without her, I don't know what I would have done, too. That made me feel so alone because I was dealing with the police investigators and of course, what happened in that car, all alone with nobody to talk to about it, because nobody knew except for that boy from work. And I'm so grateful that he told his mom. And I'm so grateful for her, too, because if it wasn't for her, I feel like nobody would know. And I feel like he would still be out doing that stuff to other boys.

[Alan Eist]

He got arrested.

[Jesse Alvarez]

He was. But then I regret saying to drop everything. I told him nothing happened. And then they dropped the case, and then he was free. I feel like it did affect my dating life. I feel. I feel like once it would try to touch my thigh again. It's like, no, I can't do that anymore. But now, over time, I feel like we, as people, we learn to accept what happened, and we learned to grow from it. We learned to cope, and we learned to not make that like our life. We learned to just look over it and look for the best. And it was hard for me to do that at first, but I feel like now it's just something I can be. Like, it's okay.

[Alan Eist]

Like, I went through that, but I'm still standing strong. What's a piece of advice you can give to anyone watching at that maybe you know, has gone through something similar or is currently going through something similar.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I want you to look for somebody who you know you can trust with something on the level of something like that. And then all you have to do is just. You have to just look into it and relive it and find peace in that. Like, try to find peace in yourself, because you don't want to make that your whole life. You really want to find a way to cope with it and don't make it your whole life. You just want to look over it.

[Alan Eist]

Thank you so much for opening up. Can identify themselves with what you've been through. And just really see that there's hope. You know what I mean? They see you thriving and there's like, okay, there's hope away from the trauma, you know, quiero platicar un poquito el arre sociales ovo menterita temira mo se enchinga. You know, creating content, you know, how did all that start? You know, what inspired you and what was the moment that you were like, you know what.

[Jesse Alvarez]

I want to do Social money. Literally. As a kid, I always knew I wanted to do something with social media because I knew that after high school I didn't want to work, you know, like, I didn't want to go to college. And I wanted this to be like a way of income for me. And. And it wasn't until I met my best friend Rihanna, where she really encouraged me to like. Cause she, she made TikToks. And I saw her doing really well. I remember her first video blew up. She called me, like, I'm blowing up right now. I'm doing really good. And I'm like, oh my God, that's so good for you. And like, I knew that I also wanted to do that. And she talked me into finally making my own videos. And I'm happy she actually told me to do that because if it wasn't for her, I feel like I wouldn't be right here right now.

[Alan Eist]

What was your first video or your first moment or maybe like, did you have like a first paycheck where you're like, oh shit, Like, I can do this full time. Like, see me pongo las pilas. And I keep up the consistency and I keep doing what, you know, people are loving. Like, I can make this a full time job. Did you have a moment like that.

[Jesse Alvarez]

In August when I finally started, like, like actually popping off, I got an email about being managed. They'll help me like get my deals and make me money and all of that. And I first like, you're like scamming me.

[Alan Eist]

You're like, is this real?

[Jesse Alvarez]

Is this real? Right? And then I finally, I'm like, okay, I'm going to take the risk. Cuz I was still working at Subway. Yeah, I'm like over here making sandwiches. I'm like, I'm over it. Once I saw that he actually got me deals and stuff that could pay my bills. I remember the numbers were so big. I'm like, I think I can quit my job right now. And I still remember the day I called my mom, like, mom, I think I can quit my job. She was a Little worried because like I said, social media income can be really unsteady. There's a month where you can make more than the other, or sometimes you want to make a anything and you can't control that. But I was like, I'm gonna take the risk. I'm gonna quit the job. And thank God I did do that because I've been doing really well. I was able to get my own car.

[Alan Eist]

Yes.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And then I can pay all of my stuff, and I even pay for some of my mom's stuff.

[Alan Eist]

I love that. You know, what was it like in momento that you quit Subway? Were you scared? Like, paint us a picture. Like, you walked into the manager's office and was like, see you now.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Like, you're not too big. I was ready to take the risk since forever, right? But when I finally started seeing these numbers, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm leaving. And I just text my mom. I was like, hey, I don't think I gotta work anymore. Like, bye, I'm set. All I did was send a message. I'm like, hey, I don't think I have to work anymore. I'm grateful for the opportunity. And then I just left. That's it.

[Alan Eist]

Never turned back. You know what's so funny? I've always. I've always said this, that I feel like Subway. I'd love to work at Subway.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, my. Let me. Let me tell you, that is one of the easiest jobs.

[Alan Eist]

Is it? Okay. So to me, I'm very much. I hate repetitiveness in the centido of, like, okay, if you're going to do this, like, every single time, it's this, this, and this and that. So I feel like Subway, to me, would always be so fun because I'm like, it's always a different fucking order.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Oh, yeah.

[Alan Eist]

What's been, like, the weirdest order you've ever had? Someone, like, the weirdest sandwich you've ever made for someone.

[Jesse Alvarez]

It was so weird. I remember it was this one sandwich where it was like, extra pickles. And you know on the receipt you can put, like notes and shit. They were like, I want you to put so many pickles, it's like going to be unhappy healthy. Yeah.

[Alan Eist]

You're like, no, watch your diet.

[Jesse Alvarez]

And we just ended up putting like a whole pile mountain of pickles. I even have a picture.

[Alan Eist]

It's all Irma's order.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Irma loves pickles.

[Alan Eist]

She's all laughing.

[Jesse Alvarez]

She's like, it was me, but it was a lot of pickles.

[Alan Eist]

I'm like, did you guys charge Extra?

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, cuz honestly I didn't get paid enough to care. Sometimes I would even get free food out. I'm like, go ahead and get your meal for free.

[Alan Eist]

That's how I was.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah. Like if you're nice to, to me, like if you were nice and you're conversating with me, take it. I would give them like discounts because on this computer screen there's like 50% off, like all of that. And I would just put. There you go. Oh, and there's coupons on there. There's like get one. Or sometimes I would charge them for like a cookie. Yeah, I just pay the.

[Alan Eist]

Just so you can have that. They're like, you're charging.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Yeah, cuz the camera was still there.

[Alan Eist]

About social media, you know, so many positives come with social media, but also so many negatives. How do you feel like you've dealt with like the negative side of social media?

[Jesse Alvarez]

With me, I feel like I'm a really tough person. I can take a lot of hate and I actually take the time out of my day to go through all of my comments and delete every hate comment actually. And then my comments are very filtered. If you say something bad, it's already filtered. Like it's not going to get to me. And there's this section on TikTok where it says review comments, which is where it takes all of the bad comments. And I try to keep myself from not looking, looking there because if I do, it's just a lot, a lot of negativity just in one place, reading a lot of hate in one place. And it's gonna get to you eventually. So I try to stay away from reading a lot of the hate comments. I'm like, is it gonna benefit me? No.

[Alan Eist]

At the end of the day, like it's great that you're like, you know what I'm gonna do me. And if you ain't paying my bills, I ain't gonna pay no money.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Exactly.

[Alan Eist]

Because a lot of the haters are just, they're not even actual followers. Followers or supporters. It's people that will just leave a comment. Keep scrolling.

[Jesse Alvarez]

No, literally I'm like, I don't know.

[Alan Eist]

You're like, you went on with your life and you're over here leaving me the trauma. I'm gonna end with a question that I always love ending with because I feel like it's really important to see maybe in five years to see what all the goals you have accomplished since, you know, Proximo, cinco anos. Whether that's personal wise. Maybe you see yourself in a relationship. Maybe you see, I don't know, yourself doing a collab. What are your goals and where do you see yourself in the next five years?

[Jesse Alvarez]

In the next five years, I hope to see myself owning my own makeup brand because that's something I really am interested in doing. And I hope that I am able to financially support my mom because I owe it all to her. And I hope I'm living in a big city, like, not. I feel like I can, like, get away from the south.

[Alan Eist]

And I know you're going to accomplish every single goal that you just said and any goal that you have, you know, come up in the process. With that being said on all his social medias down below, I'll leave a all linked so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much once again.

[Jesse Alvarez]

Thank you for having me.

[Alan Eist]

And with that being said, you guys, thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye, guys. Yay.