LGNDFRVR & Des Talk All: Traumatic Childhood, Baby Mama Drama, Toxic Relationship, CHIMSE & MORE!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Noche de Pendejadas – LGNDFRVR & Des Talk All

Date: August 15, 2025
Host: Alannized
Guests: Justice Alexander (LGNDFRVR) & Des

---

Main Theme

This episode of Noche de Pendejadas features Justice Alexander, better known as LGNDFRVR, and his partner Des, as they open up in a freewheeling conversation blending humor, hard truths, and “chisme” (gossip). The hosts and guests dive into traumatic childhoods, generational cycles, co-parenting, toxic relationships, family drama, influencer culture, and the everyday struggles and triumphs of their partnership.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions & Relationship Dynamic

• [02:18] Alannized expresses excitement about having a couple on the podcast to explore their dynamic in-depth.
• [04:08] Justice reveals he dislikes “influencer” as a label and prefers to be seen as a creator who turns trauma and life experience into relatable content.
• Des shares that content creation wasn’t her dream, but she supports Justice completely, even if she sometimes feels sidelined or frustrated with the process.

Quote:

"I create content based off my trauma and my childhood experiences... this is how this whole thing started." (Justice, 04:12)

---

2. Childhoods & Family Upbringing

• [11:46] The host prompts both guests to recount their childhoods, asking how formative events shaped them.
• Des describes economically modest beginnings, parents who were often “on and off,” and growing up amid domestic violence but also fierce family loyalty.
• Anecdote about her parents’ toxic relationship and a dramatic crowbar incident outside “Tommy’s” burger spot.
  [14:19 - 15:59]

Quote:

“My parents... were very domestic violence, but in love. This shows you, like, the deep in love, but you also can’t stay in that type of love.” (Des, 13:37)

• Justice’s experience was one of abandonment: his mother left when he was young, and his father only taught him the basics of survival before leaving for his home country.
• He discusses the “middle child” syndrome, depression, and healing by making others laugh.
  [22:27 - 25:30]

Quote:

“The feeling of being abandoned—when they’re there, but they’re not there—damn, that’s worse.” (Justice, 30:17)

---

3. Breaking Generational Cycles & Parenting

• Both acknowledge their childhood trauma motivated them to parent differently.
• [32:16] Justice: “All that stops with me because I’m going to break all the generational curses.”
• Des admits parenting wasn’t a goal for her, but she commits to giving her kids better than what she had. They emphasize not wanting to blindly copy their parents’ dysfunction.

Quote:

"I’m a parent to the best of my ability... I'm going to give them the best stepping stone that they can have." (Des, 36:58)

---

4. School Life and Formative Fights

• Des shares that she was a scrappy kid—honor roll but ready to stand up for herself and her family physically if needed.
• Anecdote about getting into a fight over stolen Converse shoes in high school, underlining her “ten toes down” loyalty.
  [47:09 - 55:36]
• The couple jokes about how their children will inherit both “gentle” and “tough” parenting styles.

Quote:

"You mess with my kid... I’ll spend 50 days in jail. I don’t care." (Des, 58:41)

---

5. Content Creation & Social Media Hustle

• Justice explains his journey from Vine to Instagram, shooting 3-5 videos a day, and working for years before earning income.
  [65:07 - 68:19]
• His motivation was to build a resume as an actor and create a platform to process pain through comedy.
• He later appeared in a film with George Lopez—a point of pride and affirmation of dreams realized.
  [69:07 - 70:29]

Quote:

"You tell me if dreams come true... this would be my testimony that anything you set your mind and your heart to... just do it." (Justice, 70:40)

---

6. Becoming Parents & Navigating Baby Mama Drama

• Justice became a dad at 21 through what he describes as a “situationship.”
• He and Des suffered rough patches early on, especially regarding trust and communication with Justice’s ex.
• Des and Justice’s son’s mother now have a surprisingly friendly relationship, but it took years to build mutual respect and operate as a team for the child.
  [83:43 - 88:38]

Quote:

"It takes time to get to that point… most people think it comes easy." (Justice, 87:57)

---

7. Their Love Story & Making It Official

• The pair met while Des worked at Macy’s—Justice made a “cute” approach to get her Instagram, preferring to build intrigue rather than just asking for her number.
  [89:23 - 99:07]
• Their DMs, first dates, and initial drama (including “toxic” moments) are retold humorously, with Des confessing to “toxic” levels of curiosity and surveillance early on.
• Their relationship was not without its ups and downs, from car accidents to fights, but they kept reconnecting.
  [116:15 - 117:22]

---

8. Postpartum and Partnership Challenges

• Des went through postpartum depression but felt supported by friends and Justice, even if help from her parents was rocky.
  [126:27 - 129:02]
• She describes the realities of breastfeeding, surgeries for their daughter, and the necessity of “a village”—sometimes leaning more on friends than family.

Advice:

"If you have a partner who’s there and willing to give you even five minutes of relief… take it." (Des, 132:58)

• Justice urges other men to “step up” and go the extra mile for their partners during and after birth, emphasizing that building a happy, peaceful home comes from mutual sacrifice and support.
  [134:51 - 136:44]

Quote:

"Be hands on… when you keep your woman happy, your family happy, you create a bigger home where it’s based on peace." (Justice, 137:00)

---

9. Parenting Styles & Family Values

• They discuss the differences in their parenting: Justice tends to be stricter with his eldest son, while Des is more lenient, given she doesn’t spend as much time with him.
• Both stress teaching values, ambition, and hustle, not just material comfort, while juggling gentle and tough love.
  [137:24 - 141:02]

---

10. Reflections & Future Aspirations

• Looking ahead, Justice wants to expand into movies, stand-up, advocate for mental health, and potentially write books—while Des’s focus is on being a great mom and, eventually, a wife.
  [143:13 - 145:29]
• Humorously, Justice says he wants to do a “sex tape with [Des]”—keeping the tone light and playful.

Quote:

“What do I see myself in five years? More movies… write a poetry book, a children’s book, based on relationships… stand-up comedy… anime voiceovers… there’s just so much I’m trying to do.” (Justice, 144:09)

• Both agree, above all, they will be together.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Leaving greatness, never dying—that’s what LGNDFRVR stands for… I’m just trying to do what I have to do with my purpose.” (Justice, 32:16)
• "If you mess with my kid, I’ll spend 50 days in jail. Yeah, I don’t care." (Des, 58:41)
• "Postpartum can last up to two years... any minutes of relief, even if it’s a bathroom break, take it." (Des, 131:55 & 134:42)
• “I was never trying to steal his baby away, you know, I was just trying to give her… two things: good dick and a good life.” (Justice, 123:01 — comic and tender at once)

---

Key Timestamps

• Introductions & Couple Dynamic: 02:18 – 09:03
• Childhood & Family Trauma: 12:21 – 32:16
• Breaking Generational Cycles: 32:16 – 36:38
• School, Fights & Loyalty: 43:22 – 59:04
• Content Creation Journey: 65:07 – 71:07
• Parenthood & Baby Mama Drama: 72:06 – 89:23
• Their Love Story, Toxic Beginnings: 89:23 – 117:22
• Postpartum & Evolving Family: 126:27 – 136:44
• Parenting Approach & Values: 137:24 – 142:21
• Future Goals: 143:13 – 145:45

---

Tone & Language

• Spanglish and colloquial, authentic and unfiltered, with a blend of humor and sincerity.
• The couple’s banter reveals their chemistry: playful roasting, candid admissions, mutual support.
• Includes memorable, sometimes raw language around struggles (generational trauma, mental health), but always circles back to hope, loyalty, and love.

---

Conclusion

This episode is a candid, unguarded look at real-life struggles and love behind the social media persona of LGNDFRVR and Des. They touch on hard topics—abandonment, toxic households, co-parenting, generational trauma—while laughing, teasing, and reaffirming their connection and their goals. Listeners are left with practical advice, emotional validation, and a reminder that real relationships are built on supporting each other through the mess, not just the highlights.

---

Find the couple and the host on social media for more content, and stay tuned to Noche de Pendejadas for future episodes full of industry drama, influencer stories, and all the “chisme” you crave.

Transcript

[A]

Today's episode of Noche de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. From vacation rentals to hotels across the U.S. booking.com has the ideal stay for everyone. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your sleep light rise early mom, or your hype maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com. so if I can find the perfect stay on booking.com, anyone can find exactly what you're booking for. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Book today on the site or on the app. Now let's get back to today's episode.

[B]

You say you'll never join the Navy, that you never track storms brewing in the Atlantic and skydiving could never be part of your commute. You'd never climb Mount Fuji on a.

[A]

Port visit or fly so fast you break the sound barrier.

[B]

Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never act actually is. Start your [e-mail] America's Navy forged by the sea, the feeling of being abandoned when they're there, but they're not there. Damn, that's worse.

[A]

What is up, everyone? I'm your host, Alan Eist, and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcaster and talk show in the Yota Trago Influencers. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight, justice, and welcome to the podcast.

[B]

Listen, I. I felt like it was only right because the podcast is called Noch, but Des and I is dia Noche de Pendejadas. So I'm like, sign me up.

[A]

And I'm so excited. Can I be honest? I was telling you guys a little bit earlier, but for me, the episodes where I have couples are one of my favorites, just because I really do get to see, like, the couple's dynamic liver and vivo. And I've been loving all the vibes, and I'm so excited to really get into today's episode to get to know a little bit more of you guys, of your upbringing, of your guys's story together. Before we get started with today's episode, give us a little bit of an introduction. Tell us a little bit more about who you are and what you guys do.

[B]

I'm good. I'm good.

[C]

I know.

[B]

She's trying to make sure I look good. You know what I mean?

[C]

Sure. All right.

[B]

She's making sure I look good. Okay. Thank you. See? You look good. I'm about to take you down on this podcast. That's why I had to sit right here. So like that. She's a Real star, you know, I mean, she my superstar. You ever heard that song by Usher, Superstar? Don't make me sing it right now.

[A]

Sing it.

[C]

I'm like, sing it. Ah.

[A]

She clearly hasn't heard it.

[B]

Spotlight, big stage, 50,000 fans screaming in the.

[C]

You can do Auto.

[B]

Hear that? No, you hear that? I love when a man tries just. Just let off. And then she shoots me down, bro.

[C]

Oh, Mario. He sings, Mario.

[B]

So I haven't. Not even warmed up. I didn't even warm up the whole time.

[A]

That was wrong.

[B]

See, I'm not even warmed up yet. My name is Justice Alexander. That's my real government. Most people don't know that, but they do. Also known as Legend forever. When y' all holla at me in the streets. What's up, Legend? Content creator. I don't really like the word influencer because I'm not really trying to influence you to do anything.

[C]

We should not be influencing.

[B]

I'm not an influencer. But if y' all do by any chance, you know, please make sure you, like, look at me as a role model or as an influencer. I appreciate you, but, yeah, I might be in the wrong business, but I do create content based off my trauma and my childhood experiences and all that. This is how this whole thing started. So when I met her, I was like, you know, you're my victim. I need you. I need you. I need you for something. I need. I need a bug. You. You know, that's how it actually started. Content creator. Actor. Poetry producer. Producer. Check my ball real quick. Check my bottle real quick, because.

[C]

The.

[B]

List goes on, baby daddy.

[A]

No, you can't forget that. We'll talk about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who you are and what do you do.

[B]

I want to introduce her. Hold on. Let me be scared of you. The one, the only, beautiful.

[C]

No. Okay. My name is dez.

[B]

See, I tried. I tried, y'. All. Y' all saw.

[C]

My name is dez. I'm very. Not very new. Obviously. I'm years into the, like, influencer era, but I only started it because of him, so it's not my thing. It has become an us thing, but it's very much a him thing. And I'm just supportive on the sidelines. I know it doesn't look supportive because I'm in everything, but I'm very much just.

[B]

That's why y' all see me walking down the red carpet by myself, and.

[C]

Then you see me with the photo mike in the back. Like, I feel like you should get.

[A]

Credit because I feel like in. In able for a man to be so successful, you really do need a supportive girl.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I feel like too much in the camera.

[B]

She's down for anything, whether it's shooting videos or shooting somebody, you know, I.

[C]

Mean, hello, I can have an attitude. I can wake up, like, not wanting to do it, but I know at the end of the day, like, this is what he wants. And we're not. Like, we've gotten so far in life because this is what he wants. And at the end of the day, whether I want to do it, not we're in it, like, I love that. There's no, like, like, he's like, shoot it again. I'm like.

[A]

You're like, oh, good.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Like, does it ever get crazy? How many times do you guys really, like, reshoot your guys videos? What's like, the most times you guys have resh.

[C]

You know what? You know what?

[B]

We all start off like that. You want to see a Spidey? It hasn't even been five. Has it been five minutes?

[C]

Has it been five minutes?

[B]

And you want to see a sp.

[A]

I do.

[C]

This is. This is what irks me. I. I take people's word for what it is. Like, if you tell me, like, hey, at 9, we're in, like, we're going at 9. Why? We'll be there at 8:54 just to make sure we're there at 9 when the. And he always says. He just said it. He just said it. He was like, oh, like, this is the last time. This is the last shot. This is the last shot. But I know it's not the last shot. So in my head I'm like, no, I say it out loud because I'm petty. It's not the last shot. And he's like, last shot, last shot. And then we have like six more shots after. I'm like, okay, now it's the last shot. Like after the last shot. But I'm already so upset that I'm just like, does it ever get to.

[A]

The point where you're like, you know what?

[C]

This is the shot. Yeah. No, I want to. Like, I probably would say it, but it can't get there because at the end of the day, like, it's for him. Yeah. Like, yeah, I get pissed. Yeah. I probably give him the like, hardest time of his life. But we end up doing it and it end up. It ends up coming together so well that it's like through all the madness and anger is just like.

[A]

You're like.

[C]

At the end of it, I'm like, oh, we did good though.

[A]

Amazing. Viral.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Here's the crazy part about what we do. I have a concept, and I tell her, you're mad because a girl liked my photo on ig. We don't have a script. We don't have, like, actual lines or anything. Everything is freestyle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everything is from the top of the dome, which I don't think a lot of people know. We never opened up. This is actually the first time we open up about. We don't. This is actually the first time we do a podcast together. I'm a little scared.

[A]

I'm a little scared because I don't know what's going.

[C]

Yes. We don't chicken up.

[B]

So we don't do podcasts. We don't do none of that. So this. This is real special, man. And. And I wanted to do this because, well, she looks good.

[C]

I was actually a fan. I'm not. I'm. I'm fangirling hard. Like, I don't. I don't know, like, before the Alanized, But I followed the Alanize, like, the podcast stuff, and I've been telling him, like, dude, look, like, no. I asked me, he was like, hey. He's like, we have this thing, but because we haven't done it, he's like, do you want to do it? And I'm always, you know, like. I'm saying, like, I'm supportive, but I always try to be in the back. So he was like, do you want to do. I'm like, yes. Yes.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know what's funny? And I believe that, girl. Because when originally we got connected, you guys, through your manager, and originally he had. You know, he had told me about you guys, and he's like, you know, Jess is still like, a Maybe, like.

[C]

All right, like, cool.

[A]

Like, we'll interview justice, you know, and then when he told me it was going to be both of you guys, I was so excited for. I was telling justice that I really do like to freeball my interviews because I really do like to feel in the moment. Today's episode of Noche de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. From vacation rentals to hotels across the U.S. booking.com has the ideal stay for everyone. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your sleep light rice early mom, or your hype maintenance group chat, you can find exactly what you're booking for on booking dot com. Jose Ester aves este ano amigas. The perfect hotel to stay at. On booking.com I was able to find the perfect place that was close enough to every single thing that we want to do in Vegas. Plus big enough for me and my partner to sleep and do our TikTok walks in and also hotel. So if I can find the perfect stay on booking.com anyone can find exactly what you're booking for booking.com booking. Yeah. Bug today on the site or on the app. Now let's get back to today's episode. All right, let's talk about how Amazon.

[C]

Prime makes everything better. You know, the moment you're binge watching.

[A]

Different things and you realize that prime has more to offer than it expected.

[C]

Amazon prime isn't just fast delivery, though. Let's be honest, getting snacks or a.

[A]

Last minute prop delivered the same day is a lifesaver. It's also prime video for all the comedy specials, Amazon music to Vibe to, and all the things that make life more interesting.

[C]

Right Ban.

[B]

Whether streaming a standup special, building the perfect playlist for the next show, or getting new gear delivered fast, prime helps make it all happen and maybe even delivers a few laughs along the way. So whether comedy, drama, or just the perfect new joke book is the vibe, remember, prime is there for it.

[C]

I do it all on Prime. Whatever you're into, it's on Prime. From streaming to shopping, it's on Prime. Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into Amazon.com prime.

[A]

And we're gonna go ahead and start off with La Pregunta Elon, which I feel like is the question that I always start off with because I feel really important, you know, to start there because I feel like it gives the audience a little more of a feel of who you guys are as people, you know? You know, obviously you guys grew up differently. I want to get to know you guys individually before we get to know you guys as a couple. What was your guys's childhood like? What were things you guys would do as children? What are struggles or hobbies?

[B]

I'll let you start.

[C]

No, no, I'll let you start. You want to start? Nah, go for it. See, I'm so used to following the lead. I'm like, okay, like, you want me to start?

[B]

I can start if you want.

[A]

The.

[B]

Spotlight just a little, a little bit brighter.

[C]

No, I think growing up, you know, I'm not gonna say I grew up like poor or without something because my parents gave me exactly what I needed when I needed it. Obviously we didn't grow up like brand new shoes, brand new backpack. I'm not gonna say we. We started from the bottom. Now we're here because, like, my parents got to a point, you know, my mom. My mom isn't, like, born and raised in America. She got bought over here. So it was more like, you know, they started. They started the foundation, and we're just continuing it for them. I grew up with a bunch of, you know, kids growing up being parents. So it's a bunch of learning how to parent, learning how to become patient, learning how to love, learning how to, like. Like, care for someone other themselves. Because they were young. They were. Well, they were the age I was when I was pregnant, which is so weird. Like, I was 20, 20 and 22. I'm gonna share a story with you that I've shared. I probably shouldn't share, but I've shared it once before with friends. So my mom, they were very. Domestic violence, but in love.

[B]

It's real. A lot. A lot of people don't open up about stuff like this, but that's real. And that's what makes. That's what makes our content so relatable, is because we keep it real like this. So, yeah.

[C]

And I share this story because it's not attacking my mom nor my. This is both of them together, united, attacking each other. And I know, like, people are like, oh, my God. Like, you grew up with that. That's disgusting. Like, you should learn better. Obviously, like, we learn and we grow from our parents, but this shows you, like, the deep in love, but you also can't stay in that type of love.

[A]

It's toxic.

[C]

Yes. We grew up in Van Nuys and then moved to North Hollywood, which is. I know, like, it's not a step up, but it's a step up. In Van Nuys, there's this famous, like, Tommy's that everybody would go to. I guess, like, in Van Nuys, it was like, a thing. It was a thing.

[A]

Y' all made it.

[C]

I mean, he grew up van.

[B]

I saw the hood made it a thing.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. So the hood made it a thing. My mom and my dad split up at this time. This is before my brother was born, which he was born in 93. So before 93, they got together or they split up. My mom got with a guy, and my dad found out, and I don't know how exactly it happened. This is, like, from ear to ear.

[B]

This really going down right now.

[C]

So my mom was in the guy's pickup truck or car or whatever, and my dad found her at the corner by where Tommy's was. My dad pulled up with a crowbar, and he said, like, open the door. And she Was like, He was like, get out, you're coming with me. Or something like that. And my mom was like, no, I'm not going with you. And my mom was telling him, she was like, oh, take off, take off, take off. And the guy was like, no, like, I'm not taking off. Like, this one has a crowbar. And she was like, thank God your mom was so used to it.

[B]

By the way. I wouldn't have been scared of your dad if I, if I seen your dad.

[C]

Is your dad.

[B]

Hell no, bro.

[C]

You know what? Let's go because I've gotten some good.

[B]

You're the love of my life. I got you.

[C]

No. Like, dude, I tell his, his girlfriend now, I'm like, I'm so used to him. But we went to a taco stand and it was like, you know, it was in the ghetto. Those are the best taco stands. Yes. He just walks straight, like, nothing, like. And I'm like, I wonder if he knows that he's not a regular looking guy. Like, he has earring, he has hoop earrings, he's bald headed. And he has a mustache, like a thick mustache. And he has like high socks. Always like the way he grew up. Like, like the looking, looking kind of like a cholo. Yeah, but I don't want to say it's like a cholo. Just like that, that it's like the culture, the dress. He dresses like the culture.

[A]

Like he wasn't a cholo himself.

[C]

Yeah, but he shouldn't wore it. But you know, like your family's attached to it. So like you, you hang out with your cousins, obviously, and they're all from like this street, this gang, this street, this gang. So he, he grew up looking like them, so he still dresses like them. And I'm just like, I wonder if he knows that, like people look at him, they're like, where's he from? And they're like, they think of him like og, but he's not. Don't test him because he will. But, but he's also not.

[A]

You know, how did that affect you? How old were you when they got a divorce? And did they explain to you that.

[C]

They were like separating their first generation here? Their parents, you know, like my skin parents. From what I've seen like in my, in my mom's side of the family, they're not very like, oh, let's talk to you about this. Let's talk to you about growing up. Let's talk to you about what you're gonna go through. Let's talk about what your body's gonna go through. They're just like, hey, I figured it out. You can figure it out. My mom was very much. She worked at a counseling office, so she was very much therapist mom. She was very much like, oh, all organic, all this, all that. Like, my mom was very, like, whitewashed mom. My mom was very much a Norman mom. She was very. So there was. We were in the kitchen once, and my dad bought a small chan. This was that. My mom were on and off 24 7.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So, like, the whole, like, explaining, hey, we're not gonna be together anymore. They never did that. They just. My dad. My mom was like, hey, you're gonna go with your grandpa because your dad lives over there. And then they would get back together, and then, hey. And it happened on and off like, my mom was in jail. My dad was in jail. My mom was living here. My dad. Well, my mom was always in the apartment, but my dad was living at my grandpa's. My dad was living in my Thea's house. Not stable, but it was stable enough where, like, we knew who our mom was, who our dad was. We knew who to respect, who not to respect. We knew, like, where. You know, we knew. We knew our boundaries, and we always grew up, like, even though it's not a home. And, like, my mom would talk to us like, hey, like, we're not together. It's not your fault. Don't worry about it. But I did grow up with panic attacks, like, you know, because, you know, you always want your parents to be together. Yeah. Like, I feel like we. We try to show that to our kids, and when we argue, we try to be like, hey, like, go upstairs and I'll. I'll toss it us upstairs. But, like, you know, like, we always try to separate.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Whose ass you trying to toss up?

[C]

No, like, we always try to separate it because, you know, we grew up in both toxic households. They didn't talk to us, but they tried to explain as much as they could so that we wouldn't grow up with trauma that they probably grew up with. I mean, I never asked them, like, how are your parents? But there are, like, you know, Mexican parents.

[A]

It's kind of like monkey see, monkey do, you know, they kind of repeat the cycle.

[C]

Yeah. So I think my mom was trying to break the cycle, and I think it worked somewhat. A little bit.

[A]

Are your parents still together?

[C]

No, my parents. No. My mom is married. My dad is. I don't.

[B]

My dad is preoccupied.

[C]

Yeah, preoccupied.

[B]

He's busy right now.

[C]

My dad. My dad still thinks he's 18.

[A]

Did you ever have a moment? You know, papas were always on and off growing up. You know, it created a very unstable household. Did you ever have a moment where you realize, like, oh, this is it. Like, they're actually not getting back together? This is for reals. What was that moment or that realization for you?

[C]

It was my quinceanera. And I heard about this crazy. But we were out. My mom walked outside, my dad walked outside. And I think, like, in my head, I knew because I was so accustomed to, like, they're going outside. I know what's gonna happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And my dad. I don't know if, like, if I've seen my dad so much, but I know when he's pissed.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So he walks outside, and my mom walks outside. And my mom was like, dude. My mom was ready to tussle. She didn't care. My mom was like.

[B]

Between them two, she the real gangster.

[C]

My mom, win or lose, my mom is in it. And if she loses.

[B]

Hey, y' all better sign her up, because her mama.

[C]

No, my mom is older now.

[B]

She'd be the baddiest.

[A]

Give me a second. You're like, 20 minutes.

[C]

Please.

[B]

No more.

[C]

Two more breaks.

[A]

You know that, you know, you lived a lot of, you know, domestic violence with your parents. You know, I can relate with you, you know, Mis papasta me. And growing up, I saw a lot of that. I was so used to it, you know, like you said, it was so normal, you know, like, oh, parents fighting. Yeah. Happens every day. Yours don't. Now that you're older, you know, looking back at your childhood, do you ever have moments where you're like, damn, like, growing up, that was so normal for me, but it was actually super fucking wild that that's what I was going through.

[C]

I don't know if it's like, our generation or, like, you know, like, the group that, like, we hang out with, maybe, like, we associated ourselves together and we put ourselves together because we can all cope with each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I felt like it was normal. Like, my friends were always like, well, like, yeah, my parents aren't together. Like, I'd be like, oh, like my mom just like him yesterday. And they're like, oh, like, my mom did that last week. Like, you know. Yeah. Like, I know people. People will probably be like, I feel like we. We got so gravitated towards that because it's like, he was telling me, and I don't know if he, like, wanted me to be surprised or, like, if he was like, his Past, you know, like, the girls were like, oh, my God. Like your parents did that? My parents did. Together. Together. I'm like, oh. Like, I wasn't like, oh, my God, no way. I was like, yeah, you first. Do we, like, attack. Not attached to each other, but like, we have something deeper in common because not everybody goes up with that.

[A]

It's like a trauma.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[A]

Like, you guys both come from, like, hard upbringings.

[C]

I had friends, obviously, and their parents were together. And I'm like, oh, like, what's that like? I know at the end of the day, my parents still have love for each other. Like, I know if. If. I mean, my mom put herself in a position not too recently, but recently. And my dad, dad in Shingo, like, Ioy. And he was with me until like, what, 2am Maybe in LA trying to get her out. I know my mom in the same situation.

[B]

You better give me some credit.

[C]

He was like, I was big papa that night.

[A]

How was your childhood growing up or what were struggles that you face growing up?

[B]

So I'm just going to pick it up. Up from where she was saying. We do relate a lot. It's. It's kind of rare because a lot of people that I knew growing up could not relate to what I was going through at the time or any of the. You might want to cover your ears for this. Or any of the girls that I was dating at the time, they wouldn't know because all the girls that I was dating, they.

[C]

That sounds like a lot.

[A]

You're like a lot of girls.

[C]

Like, how many were you were dating before me? The girl.

[A]

The girl.

[B]

Let me talk now. Let me talk.

[C]

Talk.

[B]

All right. I promise it gets better. All right?

[C]

It don't sound good.

[B]

All the girls that I was dating, they never could relate or any of my homies families could not relate until I met her. And we can relate to that. So it's. It's almost. After we comfort each other.

[A]

Do you feel like a lot of, you know, these girls that you would be talking to kind of almost saw you?

[B]

Like, oh, I wasn't just talking to. I wasn't just talking to. I was.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

He's like, what were you doing?

[B]

Ah, I was yelling at them. I was like, don't.

[C]

Who's that? Who's them?

[A]

Do you feel like they couldn't relate to you in the sense of, like, they were like, damn, this guy comes with a lot of baggage.

[B]

Like, stay away from me. I definitely felt. But I. I felt like that with her too, though.

[C]

Send me that Because I'm g. Talk to him.

[B]

And I definitely felt like I somewhat came with more of a baggage than she came. Came with the baggage because her family still, at the end of the day, had each other's back. My family was broken. Broken. I came from a broken home. My mom left at a early age where we really needed our mother, and that really hurt. And my father was there enough to be like, you guys know how to open up a fridge? You guys know how to, you know the basics?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do the basics survive life? Yeah. And then he went back to his home country. It was like me and my brother were kind of left. I have two brothers. We, we were kind of. My brother, my older brother, who had a different father, who I. I didn't know that because we grew up like brother brothers. He left to the army, and my younger brother also left to the army, which left the middle child alone. Who's. It's. It's the middle child. It's every time. If you're a middle child, I feel you. The middle child is always left like, oh, he ain't.

[C]

Oh, but I love you. You're my little sheep.

[B]

You my little fine. Nah, I didn't say all that either. But it's always the middle child who's kind of left.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I always had a dream, and I said, you gotta make it. You gotta make it no matter what. You got this crazy dream. And my childhood was filled with a lot of trauma, was a lot of pain. A lot of pain. I grew up with a lot of anxiety, went into depression, panic attacks. I, I, I. It's almost like I lost who I was, but I always hung on to that. I always hung on to that dream. And that dream was always to make my pain into laughter for people. Right. Like, I didn't know I knew pain, but when people met me, they didn't know that I was going through pain.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I was just focused on making people laugh and always joking around.

[A]

Do you feel like you would suppress your feelings a lot growing up?

[B]

Oh, absolutely. I was high. It was, It's. And I hate to say this because I talk to a lot of people about this with the, like, you're not supposed to hide behind a mask. I'm like, yes, I get it. I get it. But that's how I grew up. I was hiding behind a mask the entire time.

[C]

And I don't want to interrupt, but, but it's. It's not like just growing up. It's also still like, he's a grown, you know, obviously, He's a grown adult. He's not, like, in his 80s, but, you know, he's. He's young.

[A]

He's grown.

[C]

Yeah, he's. He's grown enough.

[B]

And he's all in the right places, honey.

[C]

He's still. He still masks it. Like, he still hides it. But I think, like, what's helping him is he's also trying to help other people that go through it. Like, he taught. He's. He's never been so open about it. Like, when we first started dating, I had. Had. I had no idea. Like, obviously, like, you know, we go through our own silent battles. Like, I go through my own silent battles, and I don't tell him until, like, it's over.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But he goes through them, and it's like, for him, I think. I don't know if I just pay attention. Like, I'm not a talker. I'm a ic.

[A]

Observer.

[C]

Yeah, I'm an observer. So, like, if I see him, like, he breathes a little different, I'm like, you okay?

[B]

Y.

[C]

Like, I can see it. And he's like, yeah, I'm okay. And he won't tell me until after. Like, hey. Like.

[B]

And she knows now. Like, she's the only person to this day who knows when I breathe differently, when I do certain things where she's like, are you okay? And I notice it because I'm. I'm in the midst of doing it. Yeah, right. And I'm like, oh, she.

[C]

Like, I didn't even.

[A]

And she. Before.

[C]

We have. We have, like, different. Different methods of coping. I think him is more like, I. I obviously didn't grow up a physical person like my parents. Parents. Yeah. Even though. I mean, he didn't. We didn't. We both didn't grow up physical. Like, they didn't hug us. They didn't comfort us. They tried. Well, my mom tried to talk to me. His parents didn't try to talk to him. But I grew up. Like, I' ma show you, and I'm gonna help you the way I can, but I'm not gonna hold you. I'm not gonna hold your hand. I'm not gonna baby you. And he likes to be babied. He likes to be like, hey, let me hug you. So I. I come out of my comfort zone for sure when he needs it, but mine, I. Like, he knows. I'm asking him if he's having, like, an anxiety attack or a panic attack when I'm like, hey, you want gum? Because mine is like, chew on it. Dug it out. Get it over with. Yeah, yeah. Because nobody helped me through it. I mean, nobody helped him through it, but that's, you know, that's what I'm helping him through it. Like, obviously, I can't help him every single day because there's some days where we're not together and he has to go through things, he has to go through events, he has to go through other stuff. But, you know, he goes to. He goes with people, people that do know and that they do understand. So they're not like, hey, like, oh, well, chop, chop. Get it over with. Like, yeah. So when he goes with someone, like, with his best friend, I'm like, oh, like, you're cool. When he goes to his manager, I'm like, hey, you're cool. Like, someone like, you good. He's like, yeah, I'm good. I'm like, okay.

[B]

Going back to the whole baby thing, I wasn't really shown love. My grandma was the only. Rest in peace. And, you know, this is a tough part about talking about my childhood because. Because, you know, I'm very sensitive when it comes down to my grandma. My grandma was the only person that ever really showed me that real genuine love and that love me, like, she really loved me. She will hug me, she will kiss me. And I didn't really feel that from my parents, you know, and so it's. It's tough growing up like that. You know what I mean? And because you. You want to be baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wasn't a normal. Like, I mean, I was a normal kid. Yeah, right. Like me, I was normal. I was normal. I'm not saying I wasn't like, I was weird or whatever. What I'm saying is, like, I didn't grow up in that life. What I knew, like, my homies growing up or whoever I knew at the time growing up, everybody grew up in a normal. Like, they loved each other. Right. Like, I didn't really feel loved by my parents growing up, and that sucked. And my grandma was the only person that did that for me. Like, you know, and then that's no shade. That's no. Like, it's true. My parents do love me. I know that, but. And they showed it however they needed to show that. But my grandma was the one that gave me that love, the way I wanted that love to be shown. So a lot of who I am today, a lot of who, like, the way I interact with people, the way I talk to people, the way I'm grounded, you know, I can make friends real easy. He's very, you know, that's I owe that to. To my. To my grandmother growing up, you know.

[A]

Your parents weren't really present. You know, your mom left and then your dad did too. How do you feel like that affected you in the long run? Did that ever make you feel like a bandit?

[B]

The feeling of being abandoned.

[C]

It.

[B]

When they're there, but they're not there.

[A]

Yeah, it's worse.

[B]

Damn. That's worse. Because I think that a lot of people that are not being heard are not being seen by parents, by family who abandoned them. They're there, but they're not really there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And that. That really sucks because it's like. It's almost like if you're living with. Man, I don't even know how to put it.

[A]

A.

[B]

A ghost almost. Right. They're there, but someone who doesn't want to be there. Right. But like my. Me, my brother, we talk about it all the time. I had this real conversation. I called him, I said, hey, man, do you feel like they taught us how to survive in the real world?

[A]

His parents?

[C]

Yeah. No. Do you feel like your.

[A]

Your siblings are closer to your.

[B]

I don't have a. Nick, let me put it to you. I don't have a nickname, but it ain't a nice nickname.

[C]

Not. He's so easy going. He's so like, you know, he doesn't know how to express himself. You know, he tries. Like her trying is very. I don't know. She's not my mom.

[B]

Let me not talk. Let me. Let me put it like this. I'm very grateful to have my parents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Alive right now. Do we have the best relationship? No, we don't. However.

[C]

You don't want to say anything? Name?

[B]

No, no. Absolutely not. It's not a good name. It's not a good nickname. I have grown to become a man who, regardless of what had happened in our past with my parents, I still appreciate them because it made me who I am today. And I thank God for them because I know that we all got the same destination, man.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, we're not here forever. And I just want to be able to say I love you to my parents no matter what. What? Because they're. They're not. They're not bad people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're not bad people. They didn't grow up to maybe be loved and that's the way it's. It's perspective. Right. Like, maybe my mom didn't grow up being loved the way she wanted to be loved and she didn't know how to change that. And vice versa with my father, you know, maybe he didn't grow up to be loved the way he wanted to be loved, and he didn't know how to change that. All that stops with me because I'm a broken. Break all the chains. I'm gonna break all the generational curses. I'm gonna be the first person in my family tree to do that for my family. Because I want the best for my children. And I, I. I've been knowing that since I feel like the day that I was born. This is what makes Legend forever who he is today. Legend L gnd that's the way I spell my name. Leaving greatness, never dying. It doesn't mean I'm a legend. I never said I'm a legend. It's not what it means. A lot of people overlook that. My user handle is Legend LGND FR V R. Leaving greatness, never dying. I just want to be able to come into this world with my God given talent and my purpose, do what I have to do. And I know one day I'm no longer going to be here.

[A]

Today's episode is brought to you by Cash App. Don't you just love how fast and easy it was to sign up and get started? Because I do. Cash App does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. If you direct deposit at least $300 in paycheck each month and use the Cash App card for purchase, you can unlock up to $200 in free overdraft coverage. If you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden fees. Manage your money on your terms and take advantage of free overdraft draft coverage. Up to $200 on your cash app today. I love cashapp amigas. Por que emberda que si mace la vida. Super fussy. Whenever I go out with friends, you guys, I hate splitting up the check because I feel like it makes the waiter's job a little harder. So normal. Menta amigas yo pon go mi tarjeta. And then everyone else after cashapps me their part haci de simple. So for a limited time, only new cashapp customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For reals, Just download Cash App. Use our exclusive referral code Alan Noche in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's banks Partners. Prepaid debit card issues by student bank members. FDIC direct deposit roundups, overdraft coverage and discount codes provided by Cash App, a Block Inc.

[B]

Brand.

[A]

Visit CashApp Legal Podcast for full disclosures. Now let's get back to Today's episode.

[B]

The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max bundle plan starting at just $16.99 a month. No one will ever break us apart. Catch Marvel Studios Thunder the New Avengers on Disney plus.

[C]

You can't escape the past.

[B]

Alien Earth on Hulu. This ship collected monsters and final destination bloodlines on HBO Max.

[C]

Death is coming for our family.

[B]

The Disney Plus Hulu HBO Max bundle planned starting at $16.99 a month. All these and more streaming soon. Visit Disney plush, Hulu hbomaxbundle.com for details. You say you'll never join the Navy, never climb Mount Fuji on a port.

[A]

Visit, or break the sound barrier.

[B]

Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Learn [e-mail] America's Navy forged by the sea. But I want to be able to set out a blueprint and a foundation for my kids so they can continue the legacy and hopefully one day look back and be like, wow, look. Look at what our father did.

[A]

Did you guys both come from broken families? You know, you guys went through a lot. Was that like a conversation you guys had as soon as you guys started creating a family? Like, look, you know, we come from this shitty past. We've gone through all of this, but we don't want to give this future for our kids. Like I know we do things certain way, but like that's literally copying and pasting our parents behavior. Let's switch it up. I don't want this for our kids. Was that like a combo you guys had like when you guys became parents parents?

[C]

Not at all.

[B]

No.

[C]

You know what?

[B]

Hell no. No. Hell no.

[C]

Before we came.

[B]

No.

[C]

I'm gonna try to not sound like an before we became parents, I was very much set on I don't want to be a parent till this day, I still don't want to be a parent. Like I know I'm a parent obviously.

[B]

Like, and that's real. That's real.

[C]

I'm a parent my kids to the best of my ability, to the best of my, my knowledge. And this is where I, this is where I understand where my parents came from. Like I'm the same age. My parents were trying to figure it out. They gave me the best stepping stool that they could afford, that they could handle, that they can maintain coming from where they came from. My dad Came from the ghetto, from moving here and here, from moving to la, like Van Nuys, Washington. And my mom came from Mexico trying to build. You know, they gave. They gave. They give you the best stepping stone that they can.

[A]

To their best ability.

[C]

Yeah, to the best of their ability. Like, you know, my mom. My mom has had her restrictions. Obviously not as bad as we do now, but she had her restrictions. She couldn't do a lot of stuff that she wanted to. She didn't have, you know, her papers here and there. It was just. It was. It was a lot. My dad was macho man. Like, I'm gonna do what I can. Like, thug it out, figure it out. And, you know, they. They never left each other's side, no matter how hard it got, no matter how much they hated each other, no matter how much. Like, one was like, oh, I'm gonna leave her ass in jail. Like, no. Like, he was like, I'm gonna build her out. Like, you got it. Like. Like, they always gave us that stepping stone. And for me, it was more like I knew. I, like, not. I'm a selfish person, but I don't want to have to worry about someone else because I'm busy worrying about myself. So I never wanted to become a parent. And then I met him, and then he was like, I'm already a parent. And I was like, oh. Like, that was. That was.

[B]

You know, what's. I was. I was a father and a daddy, though. Like, let's just put it out there.

[C]

How are your daddy, if you ask me up to be your dad? So what happened was we met. He gave me his Instagram, and on our first date, he was like, I thought you knew I was a dad. And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

[B]

Let me. Let me stop you right there. Cuz, like, how we met, it's not just like.

[C]

No, I'm not. I'm not saying how we met. That's a whole. Like, to.

[A]

That's a whole other conversation.

[C]

We met and I found out he was a dad. I'm like, I like kids. I don't want my own kids. So me, like, having to figure out what to do with your kids. It was a struggle. Like, obviously, like, I love the kid to death. Like, that's. I'm gonna. I'm always gonna claim him. I don't care what we go through. I don't care what him and his mom go through. I don't care what me and his mom go through. Like, I'm always gonna claim him.

[A]

But you just felt like you weren't like, ready for that responsibility at the time.

[C]

Yeah, it's not even that responsibility at the time. I just. I knew since my 15, to be honest, I knew I didn't want kids. I knew.

[B]

Let me ask you a question. Sorry, I don't mean. But what do you mean? You were. You'd, like when you were 50, like, oh, you turned 15.

[C]

Parents and the whole fighting. They had a whole, like, WWE session in the front of my quince. Everybody left. Ginse got canceled. Police were there. I don't know what happened with my mom. I don't know. No, I don't know what happened with my dad. I went home with my mom. I just heard restraining order, this and that. And I knew, like, my parents aren't stable enough to have, you know, us. I'm not stable. I knew I wasn't mentally stable. I knew I was still having panic. I knew I still was having anxiety. I knew. Knew I was not in a position to be a parent. And I was selfish enough to know that I was not okay having like. Like, it's. It's hard to explain because everybody's like, oh, you're selfish.

[A]

I don't think it's selfish. So if anything, it's very self aware. It's very much.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I feel like a lot of the time, you know, a lot of people think, oh, I'll figure it out. But you were like, no. Having a kid is a big responsibility and it's a big.

[C]

And it takes a village.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's normal, though. And it's not being told enough because y. Our parents. Our parents. Parents.

[C]

Our parents. Like, it was your grandparents. It was your grandparents. It was my grandparents.

[B]

What it is. That was just. Yeah, you know, we had trouble. They got pregnant. You know what I mean?

[C]

No.

[B]

And they were like, oh, my God, I gotta figure this out.

[C]

You know, I knew I didn't want kids because I wanted to be by myself with myself and be okay with myself.

[A]

Figure yourself out.

[C]

Figure myself out. Yeah. And I didn't know when that time was gonna end. I didn't know when I was not gonna wanna be by myself, myself. And then I met him and I was like, hey, I'm okay being me and him. Like, I don't want anybody else. I don't need anybody else. And then I met his.

[B]

Can you say that? Can you say that again? I couldn't hear you Anyway.

[C]

And then I met his son and I'm like, I'm okay being us three. Like, obviously, you know, like, mom was. Mom was here. Grandma was here. We would go to Grandma's house. We'd pick him up. We'd stay a few nights with him. We'd take him back, and then, like, we'd go visit him at Grandma's. Like, we were. We were very much with him a lot when he was younger.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

He was very much Daddy's boy. Like. Well, I mean, like, I can't. I'm not gonna say for Mom. I'm not gonna say. I don't know if he was Mama's girl, but if.

[B]

No, he was Daddy's boy. Like, when he would.

[C]

But he would cry, he would leave, and he'd be like, dad, puppy, puppy, puppy. And so we'd stay there. We'd stay at his mom's. We'd take justice out. I mean, we were broke at that time. We were broke. So we'd be like, hey, like, we got 20 bucks to go to the beach. Like, let's go to the beach. Beach. We had 15 bucks to go here. Let's take him here. Like, you know, we were broke, so if he was outside, he was cool. Like, we would take. We took him once to Toys R Us for his birthday. Got him a go kart. Still got in trouble, but we got him a go kart. We took him back to his birthday party. Like, after that, I knew I didn't want any kids. I'm like, this is enough.

[A]

It's gonna happen.

[C]

Yeah. Like, this is drama. This is. This is time consuming. I love him. Him, but, like, I'm glad, you know, I don't have to take full control.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Diaper changes here, like, showers here, like, he's not mine. Yeah. But he's, you know, like, he's attached.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Kind of thing. And then I ended up pregnant. And I kid you not, first, the minute I found out he was all excited. I was like, no. What are you excited for? Like, like, no. Like, this wasn't it. And both times, actually, I was.

[B]

I was actually very surprised when she first got pregnant.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie to you.

[C]

It was two years into the relationship.

[A]

Which I'm gonna get back into that because I have a whole conversation about you guys's relationship. You know, getting married. You know, we're gonna transition over to you guys as teenagers. How would you guys describe yourselves in school? Do you guys feel like you were burros? Were you guys smart? Were you guys pelos? No. No. How are you guys in high school during those years, those very important years?

[B]

I think for me, you know, Anxiety and depression consume most of my teenage years. And it sucks. You know, I wish it was different, but again, it goes back to perspective.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And sometimes God will always put you through what you need to go through to become who you are today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm a firm believer in that. So, you know, that's the way that I see it now. My teenage years. Years were spent most of, like, trying to figure out who I am. I always felt like I didn't belong. I always felt like I was different. I've never really held on to a, like a 9 to 5 job or a regular job because I was always talkative or I was always like this person that a lot of people like when. Especially when it came down to a job. Like the very last job that I had, I was working for a gym. The boss that I had at the time. Time couldn't handle the type of personality. He was a big time. He knows who he is. He's probably watching this. He couldn't handle the kind of character and in the personality that came with. With who I was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People in this world try to dim your light. And when you run into people that try to dim your light, you just have to push through.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So a lot of of my. My teenage years was trying to just push through and never lose sight of who I was. Because my purpose has always been what it was today, and it's never changed. I don't know anything else.

[A]

I love that. How about for you?

[C]

Not me, baby. I was a fighter. I was ready to go. My mom always said I had a big mouth, and I did. But I don't think she ever realized why I had a big mouth. And I don't think my dad ever realized why I had a big mouth. You know, we didn't grow up property. I'm not going to say that because my mom and dad, dad, they'll smack me behind the head till this day.

[B]

Not to this day.

[C]

I'm about 30.

[B]

Not to this day. Because if I seen that, I would have checked.

[C]

I'm about 30. And my dad will still. And I'll be like, okay.

[B]

I would check that. That would never happen.

[C]

My mom had this thing, she was that almond mom where she had this thing where she's like, I'm gonna put you in the best school. But, you know, like, the best schools come with. With kids who are privileged.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, and they would always be like, oh, I have my own room. I shared room, room. High school with my mom, middle school, elementary school with my brother. So we never, I never had my own room until like, older. Older. So in high school, I shared a room with my mom and everybody's always like, you know, like people would make fun of me. I'm a petite person and they always made fun of me because they were like, oh, you have no ass, you have no boobs. I'm like, fight me. So I always. My mom and my dad would put me. My mom and my dad put me in boxing in elementary school because I had the big mouth.

[B]

Be the way you are though.

[A]

You're like, you're talking shit. It, let's run it up.

[C]

Yeah, I'd always, I'd always been like.

[B]

Can I say this?

[A]

Can I just say it? Say it.

[B]

And I don't mean to interrupt. I'm sorry, but I love that ass the way it is. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah. But I've been working out. It's good a little bit.

[B]

When I first fell in love with her.

[C]

Oh no stick figure, baby. I was flip, you know what I mean? Paper thin. Like I was 95 pounds when we first met.

[A]

And you would be good, a good ass. Fat fighter.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, wait, it's not stopping me.

[C]

Girl, you want to see these hands? We'll go outside. Wait.

[A]

From high school? What is like one of those fights that you remember and why did it happen so.

[C]

It's so weird.

[B]

Hold on, hold on. Before you start that, do not name drop, any name. Just say the fight. Don't name drop.

[C]

Okay. Middle school. I didn't graduate across stage. I wanted to. I was, I'm good in school. Like I was good in school. I was honor roll. I was in a magnet school. I was in performing arts. I never did pe.

[B]

Wait, wait, you went.

[C]

I don't know what it's like to run a mile. I don't know what it's like to do 100 push ups for your eighth grade final. Like, I don't know any of that. I did dance class. I was on a roll. I was top, top of the class. But I had a, like Lavoca Corindo. Like always. But because they would talk to me like, oh, she's a flat ass. Oh, she's wearing the same jeans she wore last year.

[B]

Now I'm getting, now I'm getting hot. Now I want to fight. Irma, pull up the IG's real quick. What's up?

[C]

Real quick. I follow a few of them still, but because not because, like, like, oh, like I want you to see what I'm doing. Like, no, dude, like, we we grow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, like, we mature. We're all moms. We. We're not the same. Get. I mean, I invited them to my daughter's first birthday.

[A]

Did they go, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

Like, we're all cool.

[B]

Let me just. Let me say this. Hold on. She. I remember there was a few faces that I didn't recognize at my daughter's birthday party.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, I'm not sure if it was first, second, third, whatever, first. But there was a few parties because, you know.

[C]

You know, look.

[B]

No, no, listen. Hold on, hold on. I was like, no. So. So her nickname is Ma. I called her Ma.

[A]

Ma.

[B]

So Ma. I'm like, ma, who. Who is that? And she was like, oh, that's some girl I fought at middle school.

[C]

School.

[B]

Well, that's some girl I fought in high school. And I was like, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[C]

See what's going on?

[B]

Hold on. You invited girls that you fought in middle school and high school to this party?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

People that you told me stories about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I felt hot about, like, where's the man? Yeah, they got a man. They're like, he. She don't even. Yeah, she got a baby daddy, but they don't even. They're not even here.

[C]

I was like, I'm hot.

[B]

I'm hot. And that's the. That's she be doing.

[C]

Look, I'm a lover. I'm not a fighter when I fight, because I don't have a choice.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

It's not like. Like, I wasn't like, oh, like, I see you. You made fun of me. Let me fight you. No, Like, I was put in a position where. Okay. Like, I was just telling him the story or. No, I was telling my cousin the story. Because she's like, I've never fought for the family. I'm the oldest girl, okay? So it got to a point where, like, I don't have a choice. Like, if you make fun of, like, my cousin, I'm very. I'm like, this I'm right or that. I'm not even right at eye. I'm dying. I'm dying 24 7. Like, I don't care who it is. Like, we're outside. It's, like, two weeks from eighth grade graduation. We're on a roll. And my mom was pissed because, you know, my mom's like, oh, my God, that's my daughter. Like, for my brother, she was like, that's my baby. We were loud. We were loud. And for me, she didn't get to do that. So she was a Little upset. And then we get to high school. Start in ninth grade. I'm in boxing already, so. Okay, so, you know, you start boxing, you feel a certain way. Yeah, I started in third grade. They call me Million Dollar Baby. Or no.

[B]

Hey.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Her brother and. And her, they don't know how to box.

[C]

My coach. My coach in that time called me Million Dollar Baby. I had a Coach. Coach from LA's Best. I know it's like a LA thing.

[A]

It's like a boxer thing.

[C]

It's like after, like YMCA.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

[C]

It's like YMCA but for the school. Okay, so it's called LA's Best. I had this coach named Juan and he was like, oh, like, she's called Million dollar baby. At LA's best. Whatever, whatever, whatever. We get to high school, this girl, I take my Converse, my white Chucks. I'm a Chucks girl all the way. Not. These are Valentine's. These are years ago.

[A]

I love them, though.

[C]

The blue ones, these are years.

[A]

The blue gray ones.

[B]

Her boyfriend got the white and black ones.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, no, it's white and gray, right?

[C]

Mama bought.

[A]

Yeah, white and gray one.

[C]

Ma. Bottom firm. Ma, Ma, Ma.

[A]

Why do I think about the movie, Ma? Where you.

[B]

Got the same vibe though.

[A]

She gotta save singing. Don't make drink alone.

[B]

She got the same.

[C]

In high school, I have the white Converse and my friend Chris is cleaning them. And he's like, hey, wait, you gotta.

[B]

High school before we break up.

[C]

Okay, baby. Mama. So I'm in high school, my friend is cleaning them. He's like, hey, I left him in your geometry class. That was my last period. He's like, hey, pick him up. I was like, okay, cool. This girl, she's like, hey, these are mine. Mine. He said, cool. They're not yours. I said, okay, cool. He said, hey, this girl so and so took them. And I was like, mind you, I didn't grow up the richest person.

[A]

Those are checks for the year.

[C]

Get them. Yeah, those are your Chucks for the year. Those are your. I think that year, I'm not gonna lie, I got Jordans because my brother was into Jordans. Trucks are my. You'll see me at the stairs in trucks. You'll see me leg days in Chuck. Chuck.

[A]

Chucks.

[C]

Chucks all the way. Homegirl goes to my geometry class, grabs the Chucks. I said, hey, going to the restroom.

[B]

Geometry.

[C]

Geometry.

[B]

Wait, what is that?

[A]

Math?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was in pre algebra 1 for 9th, 10th, 11th, I believe. Hey, but you don't.

[A]

What?

[B]

All I need to know was like, how to add, how to subtract. That's it.

[C]

I went to the restroom. I said, hey, I was super sweet. I'm not gonna lie. I said, hey, I heard you took my white.

[B]

Oh, she's very sweet.

[C]

I said, hey, I heard you took my white checks. Can I get them back? And she was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I was like, hey, my friend Chris told me that you took my white chucks.

[B]

You should have never had a. You should have never had a friend named Chris. That's the first problem.

[C]

She was like, I don't know what you're talking about. She's washing her hands. I kid you not. She's washing her hands. And I was like, you have my white ch. I'm pissed because, you know, my parents can't afford it, stupid. Yeah, yeah. Like, dude, at that point, that was like, what, 22 bucks? Yeah, 22 bucks is a lot. Like, till this day, I don't give a. How much are they?

[A]

40 bucks.

[C]

They're like, 42. Yeah, but even 22 is a lot. Like, girl, a raspado for 10 bucks. Tripping, but okay. Anyway. Converse. Converse. 22 bucks. And I was like, okay, okay. Do you want to give them back or do you want to meet outside? And she was like, what are you talking about? I'm not going to meet you outside. I was like, bet. I'll see you outside. You don't want to give them back? I'll see you outside. And she was like, what's your locker? And I was like, what's your locker? She was like, no, I'm not going to give them back to you. What are you talking about? I don't know. I was like, what do you mean, don't give them back? And she was like, I don't have them. I said, and then we're outside. At that time. Time. At that time, my best friend. I'm not gonna say her name. At that time, she. She stood 10 toes behind me. I don't give a. She stood 10 toes behind me. She didn't need to, but she said, nobody jump in. So me and her fighting at the edge of the. Of the restroom. She goes into the. I don't know what happens. We're fighting. I. You know, obviously, you black out. My best friend comes behind me. Yes. No, I. Never mind. I was probably not incoherent, but she said. She was like, hey, like, her mom is here. She this and that. We're in, like, sixth period at this time. She's like, hey, your mom is. Her mom is here. We're gonna this and this. Just say this and this. And I was like, okay, cool. We get there, I get into the principal's office and I was like, hey. She took my Converse. She said she didn't want to give them back. I said I needed them. I don't know if you want to talk to my parents. They're not gonna buy me a new pair. I need them. He was like, oh, okay, we'll talk to your mom. My mom stood ten toes down, baby. She said, I ain't buying her. No. If she wanted to fight, that girl threw the first shot. My best friend at that time said, yep, she threw the first shot. I said, baby, she threw the first shot. No, my mom always said, like, I don't know if your mom, if your mom always said, Mexican mom.

[A]

Bang.

[B]

Can I just say we, we trying to race like kids who hold their own.

[C]

Yeah, these kids are gentle parented. Yeah, my kids are gentle parented through him. And I get it 100%. But you raise a thug, you raised an. A thug. So they're. They're half and half. Like, my daughter knows.

[B]

Wait, wait, they're half and half what?

[A]

Baby? Not baby.

[B]

No, see, that's the problem though, because I know how it is. Like, I've thugged it out all my life. She started it out all her life. And that's. And that's what I'm saying. Breaking generational curses. And so it's not about gentle parenting. It's just about, you know, my parents didn't teach me how to fight. My parents didn't teach me a lot of things. Things that I know today. That's what, that's what we're trying. Or that's what I'm trying to implement to my kids. And it's just like, hey, listen, you. If, if a, if a kid is trying to bully you or trying to punk you or trying to. Whatever it is, hey, baby boy, baby girl, you got, you gotta step up. And I tell this to my 12 year old son. I have, I have a 12 year old. Well, we'll get to that. But I, I tell all my kids, I tell all my kids the same thing. You better do it.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Dug it out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or you go, you gonna. Look, you don't get.

[C]

I'm not gonna say nothing, but we have 10 toes down behind my 12 year old, behind my 6 year old, behind my 8 year old, behind my goddaughter. 8 years year old. We have 10 toes down meaning, baby, you need bill money. We got it.

[A]

But I do feel like it's important, you know, as you get older. Like, I feel like, like you said, a lot of parents now raise very, you know, sheltered kids.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Those kids almost get on to the schools and bully the other kids, and it's like, if you're gonna bully my kid. I'm not a parent, but if I were to be a parent, if you're gonna bully my kid, get ready for my kid to rock you.

[B]

This is just a warning, baby. If you're watching, it's just a warning.

[C]

No way.

[B]

And if it happens, don't say we didn't warn you.

[C]

Hey, look. And I'm holding his hand as I say. And I think my. My manager knows my son is very sheltered. I stand. Baby, I'll stand 20 toes behind him. 20 toes behind me.

[B]

When the. What you get to the extra toes?

[A]

10 and 10.

[C]

20. 20. 20 toes behind him. My daughter needs five toes. She's. She's with the.

[A]

She's like you.

[C]

She's with the shits. But this is what I'm saying. Like, you grew. You grew up with your kids. Yeah, bail me out. I don't care, baby. Bail money is on the side. We don't count that much money for.

[A]

Bell money, baby girl.

[C]

That. That money, the emergency fund for whatever you mess with. This is what I mean. This is why I didn't want to become a parent. You mess with my kid. Like, I'm so. I'm so, like, hey, I'll spend. I'll spend 50. 50 days in jail. Yeah, I don't care. You mess.

[B]

I'm gonna need you in those 50 days. So, like, you can't be gone for too long.

[C]

This is what I'm saying.

[B]

I gotta eat with the kids. Gotta eat.

[C]

I'll spend 50 days in jail for my kid.

[A]

I don't get the type of mom to, like, let's say your. Your kid was getting bullied. The mom shows up to the principal office, and it's like, you're gonna get it because you raised that kid.

[B]

I feel like we talked about that, Alanize.

[C]

I'll spend. I'll spend a lifetime in jail for my kid. Yeah, a lifetime.

[B]

How about for your man?

[C]

For my man. For my man, for my kid, for my parents and for my aunts on my mom's side. Oh, on my dad's side. Look from my aunt. Aunts on my dad's side. For my aunts and uncles on my dad's side. Except for one for my. For my man. For My kids. Especially for my kids.

[B]

See, this is.

[C]

This is what I mean. Where. I mean, my parents, like, set that stepping stone. I know 100%. I end up in jail tonight. Not that I would. Not that I.

[A]

Knock on wood.

[C]

Knock on wood. No.

[A]

It'S all plywood. Stop.

[C]

I know my parents. Dude, my parents ride or die for each other. They're not together, but they all ride a for each other. Yeah. I'm not gonna say that's a Mexican thing because I don't know if that's like a, you know, an Indian thing, an African American thing, but that's my parents thing. Ride or die. If I go. Look, if I go out with you in public, I'm already die. I don't. I don't care if I met you last night. I don't care if my best friend, friend, if my cousin, if my sister introduced you to me that night. Maybe I'm already die.

[A]

I love that. I'm like personal security.

[C]

I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say like. Like, I know how to fight. I'mma protect myself, but do what you. I'm not going to. Yeah. I'm not going to allow you to be there by yourself and get messed up rocked like Sita Chingan, baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then we get back up and then that's the way I am. I ride so hard for my family. I don't care if. If we've seen each other once throughout the year. I don't care. Like, that's the way I grew up. Whoever you go out with, you ride to ride with.

[A]

If you don't want to ride with.

[C]

Them, don't go out with him.

[B]

That's a night. Like, we have been the Hardy Boys before. Like, we've tagged team before.

[C]

You know what? Since we met. Since we met. You know?

[B]

You know.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's my favorite wrestler growing up. That's literally what I have talked about because I'm so. I am so jealous of your Netflix WWE premiere invitation. Like, that should have. Could have been me, but it wasn't. I have a whole wrestler just like you. I have a whole wrestling room where it's like my collectibles. I will send you guys pictures. Today's episode of Noche de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. From vacation rentals to hotels across the US, booking.com has the ideal stay for everyone. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, your sleep light rise early mom or your hype maintenance group chat. You can find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com Las Vegas the perfect hotel to stay at on booking.com I was able to find the perfect place that was close enough to every single thing that we want to do in Vegas. Plus big enough for me and my partner to sleep and do our tik toks in. And also Hotel Bueno Buenos Aires. So if I can find the perfect stay on booking.com anyone can find exactly what you're booking for booking.com booking yeah. Book today on the site or on the app. Today's episode is brought to you by Cash App. Don't you just love how fast and easy it was to sign up and get started? Because I do. Cash App Cash App does more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money. If you direct deposit at least $300 in paycheck each month and use a Cash App card for purchase, you can unlock up to $200 in free overdraft coverage. If you overdraft unexpectedly, there are no hidden fees. Manage your money on your terms and take advantage of free overdraft coverage up to $200 on your cash App today. I love Cash Up Amigas. Por que si mace la vida. Super fussy. Whenever I go out with friends, you guys, I hate splitting up the check because I feel like it makes the waiter's job a little harder. So normal. Menta amigas, yo pongo mi tarjeta. And then everyone else after. Cash Apps me their part. So for a limited time only new Cash App customers can use our exclusive code to earn some additional cash. For reals? Just download Cash App Use our exclusive referral referral code Alan Noche in your profile. Send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account. Terms apply. That's money. That's Cash App. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Baking services provided by Cash App's banks, partners, prepaid debit card issues by student bank members, FDIC direct deposit roundups, overdrop coverage and discount codes provided by Cash App App, a Block Inc.

[B]

Brand.

[A]

Visit CashApp Legal Podcast for full disclosures. Now let's get back to today's episode I love all over social media, you know, we see your guys's skits, which I feel like a lot of people love. I know you just started it first. What made you be like, you know what, I want to grab my phone. So start doing skits. Because, you know.

[B]

You know, when I first started shooting skits, I Actually wasn't with Des. Again, shooting content on social media was something that I just picked up because at the time there was this, this platform called Vine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And everybody was on point. I wasn't shooting vine like that. There was a lot of popularity around this platform at this time. This was the time where I was like, hey, I think I need to start showcasing what I really want to do in life.

[C]

It was a pretty boy.

[B]

Besides the point. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I was a security at a, at a church. I was securing Jesus Christ himself. I was securing Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit and God at a church. Actually, I got a very good story about church. We'll get to that later.

[C]

You something.

[B]

She knows what I'm talking about. Instagram started doing 15 second clips at the time. And I said, I am going to start shooting 15 second clips as opposed to 6 seconds. 6. You know, at the time it was.

[A]

About 6 to 10, 6, 7.

[B]

It was like 7.1 seconds. Yeah, something like that. I mean, don't, don't correct you. You can correct me because I wasn't, I wasn't a Viner like that. But I shot about two, three vines. Vine was on the, the decline. Yeah, it was going down at the time. So I was like, you know what? As somebody that's trying to create content, I'm gonna start shooting content on Instagram. Sure enough, this platform, vine started. It fizzled out. It just disappeared. When I started shooting skits for, for Instagram, I was doing whatever I thought was funny to me at the time. And I was only sharing it with family, whoever I went to high school with at the time. You know how it is. Yeah, right. When you have a Facebook or when you have it, please watch mom.

[A]

Yeah, pretty much.

[B]

But I started posting a lot. I started shooting about three to five times a day. That's how I kind of came up. I was shooting on Instagram, I was shooting on Facebook. Facebook was another platform that a lot of people overlooked. Ye that didn't kind of realize like, you know, this is another platform where you can make money. Ultimately, that, that, that was never the incentive. You know, I just wanted to shoot content and do what I love to do. Obviously I wanted to make it into a career where I would get, you know, brand deals and I want sponsorships, all that sorts of stuff. You have to work your way up. So social media, a lot of people feel like it's easy, but it's not easy. I didn't say start seeing money till I Mean, I've been in the game for 10 years, right. My daughter is seven years old. Seven years old. I didn't start seeing money out of those 10 years. Three years later. So I was in the game. I was shooting content at this point. For free.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For three years.

[A]

For the funds and giggles. Yeah.

[B]

For the fun and giggles. And because I, I truly had a passion for. For it. The way I always saw social media was, I'm going to build a resume, because the end game is I want to be an actor and I want to come out of movies, I want to come out in shows. I want to build a resume where producers, directors, actors can start seeing my, my talent, my videos, and everything that follows. So, like, that maybe one day they can be like, we need this kid in a movie. Fast forward. It happens. I come out of my first feature film.

[A]

How was that?

[C]

I go there for four weeks.

[A]

What was that like?

[B]

Let me know why you say like that, though. Four weeks. I mean, I think, I think during her four weeks, she realized, like, she really needed me. Because when I love him when I came back, that was, was I. I. I've never felt that much love from her at that time. I've never.

[C]

Eventually.

[B]

We got.

[A]

He finished the movie.

[C]

He was with you, we said. Straight from bdsm.

[B]

Yeah, it was about four to five times when I came back a day. And I'm not even.

[C]

I'm not even.

[B]

Trying to be funny right now. I'm not even trying to.

[C]

My dad probably watched.

[A]

He's like, what the.

[B]

That's fine. I beat it up four or five times. You know, four to five times a day. You know what I mean? But no real talk. So I left. I shoot a movie with George Lopez, somebody that I grew up watching and who was a, an inspiration to me. George is a electric legend. And, you know, I remember waking up at 3 o' clock in the morning to lowrider, to literally waking up to shooting a movie with George Lopez.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

You tell me if dreams come true. If you tell me, you know, do you think this will ever happen or if you ever been a person or a hater.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's says this won't happen or that won't happen? I would tell you this would be my testimony and this would be my proof that, you know, anything that you set your mind to and your heart to, whatever you have a passion for, just do it. Because it'll land you to some crazy place in Mississippi and shoot a movie with George Lopez called How the Green Was. So Christmas. And I did just that. And it's only the beginning. Getting.

[A]

I love it. You know, I. I really do truly feel like it. It's very much like. And if you really work towards your goal, what anyone has to think about it. What the doubters. Because you gotta.

[C]

You.

[A]

You proved them wrong. You know, anyone that doubted you, that was like, no, it's the way. No, he's not gonna amount to anything with his little videos. It's like, no George Lopez, you know, you know, they usted is becoming parents co parenting. But know you guys becoming parents justice. You know, when you were 21, you became a dad for the first time ever. No. How did you find out you were becoming a dad? How did you take it? Were you scared, overwhelmed? You're like, what the.

[B]

This is a. A really good story. I will was in a situation ship. It wasn't a real relationship pause.

[C]

He. We were at his mom's house and there was a binder.

[B]

You can tell that story. Go ahead, go ahead.

[C]

Where she wrote a love letter and she was like, oh, my God, I love you. I hope you have a great day at school. And he was like, I love you too.

[A]

Did you meet your baby mama in school?

[C]

It was a situationship because they didn't end up getting along at the end of the day after the baby had happened, but it was in a situationship. You know, like in high school, you think you're in love happens.

[B]

The way it happened was. Was pretty crazy. I was in a situationship. It wasn't so much of a. I mean, yeah, this. It was a relationship, but it really feels too much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Of a relationship because at the time I was at a different place, and it felt more of a situation that I was in, you know, and she ended up getting pregnant. And although I didn't see a future with this individual, a beautiful blessing came out of it. And that was my. That was my son who really set the tone to being the man that I am today. If it wasn't for him, I'll still be lost past. I would still be scrambling and, you know, trying to figure out what I want to do in life. And I. I thank God for. For him setting these. These stepping stones along the way for me, because it really made me the man that I am today.

[A]

Do you feel like it was hard for you to adapt at first to, like, being a dad? You know, being meant that you're young, you're like, oh, my God, like, I'm gonna be a dad. Like, what do you feel like were the Things that shocked you the most about, you know, being dad.

[B]

It was shocking at first because when she first told me, I, I thought she was lying. I thought we had just broken up. I thought she was just saying this, you know, to continue whatever, whatever we had going on, you know, And I was like, well, I'm not gonna fall for that. We met up and we took a, A, a pregnancy test together. And then we confirmed it with a actual doctor visit. She was about eight weeks pregnant. And I was like, whoa, this is real. I'm about to be a father, which is something that I've always wanted. But this situation that I was in wasn't ideal. It wasn't something that I really wanted to. To be in. It's tough. Because of him, I was able to really ground myself and be like, go after your goals and go after your dreams. And that's really what he really taught me. He was old when I, when I was like, you know what? Let me really go after this. Try to become somebody for, for this child. He deserves it. I brought him into this world. He really brought out the best in me.

[A]

How was co parenting? Like, oh, man, you know, you and, you know, your baby mama make the decision of, like, you know what? It's not going to work out even if we try to make it work out for our son. What was co parenting like at the beginning? Do you feel like you guys both struggled to, like, meet in the middle when it came to, like, parents parenting?

[B]

Yeah, of course. It's always difficult. You got a way of thinking about life. The other individual has a certain way about thinking about life as well. Ultimately, you want the best for your son or your daughter. You know, at the time, I felt a loser. I didn't really have much going on with my life, and I couldn't really support. Yeah, I couldn't really, really show him, but he loved me. He loved me. You know, waking up to him was the best thing in the world. Going to sleep with him was the best thing in the world. It gets tough when you co parent, especially at an early age. She's gonna move on with her life. I'm gonna move on with my life. She knows that she's gonna have to move on with somebody else. I'm gonna move on with somebody else myself. So it, it gets tough. We really didn't really meet in the middle. There was a lot of. And then that's the tough thing about co parenting. You really don't know where to agree. You know, it, it, it gets tough.

[A]

We don't Be there on the. You guys called up your baby mama in the middle of you guys filming, and a lot of people were like, oh, my God, like, you and her have a good relationship. That it was not always that way. How did you get introduced to his baby mama? What was it like for you to be like, oh, damn, Like. Like, he comes with the baby mama. I don't know how to deal with this. And at what point or what happened that made you enter, kind of get closer and kind of, you know, co parent for the good of your son?

[C]

When we first started dating, we were cool. It was just me and him within maybe a month of talking, we were cool. And then his baby mama called when we're on a date, like an overnight night date. We were on a date and she was like, oh, you need to come pick up your son. He wants eggs. He wants this, he wants this, he wants this. He was working nine to five. He was working security job. And he was like, okay, like, don't worry about it. I'll go. I got it taken care of. Security goes, takes care of it. And then maybe, like, I, like, I don't want to say date to date because we're cool. Me and her, we're like this. We're solid. We're. But from day to day, which is.

[B]

Which is really rare, you know, this.

[C]

Is from the building ground to the top. We. We were not homegirls. We were not friends. We didn't know of each other. We're different generations. We're not the same age group. Like, nothing. We went to different schools, different cities, different everything. We. We grew up different. Me and him got together. He was staying at his mom's and at mine at the same time. Somehow he came back and he was like, baby, mama told. Told me that you're a. And that you were sleeping with the guy that she. Yeah, such and such is brother. And I was like, what the.

[A]

Yeah, this is the first time I'm.

[C]

Finding out about this. Damn. I stuck with him and it must have been good. I'm just kidding. And she was like, yeah, she told him some stuff. And I was like, what do you mean? It must have been good because I forgot about it.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[C]

Anyway, so she was like, oh, she's a. She's up on such and such and this and this happened and whatever. And I pick him up for his birthday, mind you, I bought him. I was working at Macy's, so I bought him. I. I didn't buy him, but I gave him a free discount of brand new white Levi's, 501s, brand new white tea. Like, everything white. He wanted all white. I said, bet. He stopped by, he bought all white. I gave him all white white. And he left. And then he told me. He was like, hey, like, such and such happened. I got kicked out. Baby mama said, you slept with such. Such and such. And this. And this happened. And I was like, what the. You have a past before you date the person that you date, but this past happened to be so close to what I was dating that it just happened to intertwine. Yeah.

[A]

Like, the dates kind of.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Whatever she was saying. Kind of like between you guys.

[C]

Yeah. Like, had not been the person in the middle, I would have been like, oh, that would have made sense. Anyway, homegirl called me a. She said such and such. She did this and this. And I was like, cool, okay, whatever. Like, I don't get mad, you know, at the end of the day, like, it's not about her. Oh, this is what baby mamas do. This is what I have to deal with. Whatever. It is what it is. Like, I'm in love with this guy.

[B]

Oh, you are. You're love.

[C]

Anyway, I'm in love with this guy. It is what it is. And we're gonna carry on from there. And. And whatever happens, whatever she says, whatever goes on, we're going to go ahead and continue from there. Whatever. We were in a bad situation. Not. Not in a bad situation. I'm not going to say in a bad situation, because me and her never had a one and one. You know what I'm saying? Like a. Like a. She's never talked to me face to face. So we never had a one in one conversation.

[A]

It was just more like he said.

[C]

She said, okay, I'm a very. I'm not a confrontational person where I'm like, we're not going to Royal Rumble. First time we meet, I'm like, hey, we're gonna talk about the situation that had came up beforehand. We're gonna figure it out, and if we can't figure it out, we won't be friends. Yeah, that's it.

[A]

So you, like, confirmed?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What did she say?

[C]

So we were. We went to an event before, and we sat down with her and her new man. This is where it gets sticky, because her new man happened to be brothers with a man that. She said that I was being a. With.

[B]

The. The. The.

[C]

She knows. She doesn't care. I talked to her about it. This is where I'm saying, we're like this. Okay, so me and her had this conversation at this restaurant. And I said, hey, you told him when we first started dating that I was like with homeboy and homeboy is his brother. And she was like, no, no, I didn't say that. And I was like, well, this is what had happened. This is what he came up to me with. And I'm not that type of person.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And she was like, no, no, that's not what I said. And I was like, okay, cool. It is what it is. I'm not gonna have you explain yourself. We're grown adults. If you didn't mean to say that at what it was like, I want to say four years before, before we have that conversation, because we never. We've seen each other, but we never were able to have a conversation. They had the interactions. I'm not going to interfere. Yeah. Like, he had his. He had his situations with her. That's his situation.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

My name was never bought up in those situations. Had she said, like, my name. Yeah, I would have popped up. Had she. Had she got in his face, like, I. I would have popped up. Yeah. But, you know, she was always at a distance. She was always respectful to a sense. I mean, obviously not word for word to a sense, but they were. You know, they went back and forth. They were baby mama, baby daddy drama. I'm not gonna. I'm not. I'm not excluding you because you said your few words to her. She said her few words to him when it bought me up, in a sense where it's like, hey, I can have this confrontation with you, and we're gonna be able to. Okay, I have that confrontation with her. And she blamed him. He said, no. And I said, cool. Leave it for what it is. But in my head, it wasn't for her security. It wasn't for his security. It was for. You better recognize that I was never that type of person. Your baby mama wanted to start trouble at that point. And granted, look, had I been the baby mama, I would have been like, your new girlfriend. Yeah.

[A]

She's a. I think at the beginning, maybe a lot of baby mamas act out of. Out of emotion, like, oh, she's having a good relationship. Wish it could have been me type thing, you know?

[C]

Yeah. 100.

[A]

You know, you guys have, like, a rocky relationship at first. What was that moment? Or what was that situation that you're like, you know what? She's actually pretty cool. She called me a. We fixed it up, but you're actually pretty cool. And I'm, you know, I'm down To have a relationship with you. Because I feel like when kids are involved.

[C]

I think it's one he started. TK not kidder, but TK and he went to school, and she was working at the school. Dude, good mom. Whatever. It is what it is. Good mom, good dad. I'm not gonna bash either one. They are what they are. They want to bash each other. They are what they are. But good mom, good dad. He went to school, and they were like, who do you look like? And he said, desiree. He said, my stepmom. And she was like, oh, my God. He went to school saying that he look at his stepmother. I said, period. Like, you know. You know that like, at the end of the day, at the end of the day, whether he came out of me, whether he came out of him, whether he came out of her, like, that's my son.

[B]

He definitely came out of me first. For sure. For sure.

[C]

I don't care.

[B]

Let's just. We. We can establish that. It came out of me first.

[A]

You first.

[C]

No, he did not. Spiritually. He came out of me. That is my son, 100%. I will. I will walk with him. I will rock with him. I will float with him. I will. Whatever it is, whether he wants to swim, whether he wants to float, whether he wants to rock, I'll make it happen. That is. That will make it happen. That is my son at the end of the day, but that's the way my voice. He lies.

[A]

You know, I feel like it is very important when adults become adults and they're like, you know what? We're not going to worry about our feelings. What matters first is our child. You know, what piece of advice would you guys give to anyone watching at home that maybe has had a rock, you know, relationship in terms of, like, baby mama, baby daddy, and feel like there's no way of ever getting better. OB have worked up to a relationship where you guys do have a better relationship. What piece of advice can you give to those watching that feel like maybe co parenting won't get better, but you guys feel like it will stop taking.

[C]

Baby mama drama to the extreme. There's no reason, like, at the beginning, baby mama is obviously upset. Like, you'd be upset if somebody took your man to too. Yeah, it like, no, not like ticky man. Like, look, I'm not gonna say ticky man, but, like, you'd be upset if someone got what you dreamed of. Like, obviously, everybody wants a happy family. Everybody wants their family to stay together. We've had this conversation. Like, it is what it is, obviously.

[B]

Let me say this. Let me say this. Daz and the mother of my child have a friendship.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah, they have a real friendship.

[C]

Like, they're jealous of each other. We're not like. Like, dude, they call.

[B]

They call each other all the time. They. They talk to each other. They confine in each other. And it's. It's kind of crazy.

[C]

I think it's just easier for her and myself to have the conversation of, like, what's going to happen with the baby. I mean, he's. He's not a baby, but he's 13.

[B]

No more.

[C]

But he weighs more. More than me.

[B]

But he's taller than you now.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I think five, three, five, five. Yeah. I think it's just easier. Dude, she's tiny. She's petite, too. Yeah. Like, it's just easier for her and myself to have this conversation because at the end of the day, like, you know, her and him deal with money, deal with cousins, like, me and her just deal with him. Like, he needs. He needs, like, love here. Okay. Give him love here. He needs this extra, like, care here. He'll be like, hey, come to my baseball games. Come to my. This. And I'm like, okay, cool. Like, if he ever asked me, I'm never saying no. Like, if he's like, hey, come to my baseball game. But I don't care if you told your mom, I don't care if you told your stepdad. I don't care if you told your dad. Like, if you ask me, I'm going. You don't need to ask. Ask them.

[A]

I feel like it all comes down to being adults. No, like, I feel like, like you said, you know, at the end of the day, you know, whatever you guys had going on, it wasn't during my time. Why am I going to sit back and hate you for something that was not during me? Tiempo was not. It didn't affect me in any way. And I feel like that's like, the biggest advice for me.

[C]

We were in high school and she told my Converse baby, it's.

[B]

To be honest with you, it. It takes time to get to that point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it doesn't come easy. I think most people think it comes easy.

[A]

It's a working process.

[B]

But it is. Yeah. I mean, she's seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[C]

I think it took until he was like, what, five years?

[A]

Six.

[C]

No, five years. It took until I was pregnant with my baby girl.

[B]

This was before Jace. This was before Jace.

[C]

Arya.

[B]

This was after Jay section after Arya.

[C]

She was like, okay, like, you know what? He's. He's good. He has his family. I don't. You know what? I'm not gonna speak for her because I don't know what her thought process was, but she was. She was easier. Yeah, for me. Not. Maybe not for him, but she was easier for me.

[A]

And I feel like that means look at pasta muncho. Maybe she felt like, you know what? Like, she's not a bad girl as long as she loves my son the same way that she loves her son. It's like, go ahead. Like, my son can always lead a.

[C]

Second mom, you know, And I feel.

[A]

Like that is where it comes down to, you know, I feel like if you're co parenting amigas and it gets a little rocky, just know that it gets better as long as both parties, all parties involved, but they're gonna need to, you know, you know, baby mama drama as a relationship, you know, in 2014. SEO, tell us a little bit more about how you guys met, who made the first move, and how did you guys make it official?

[C]

This is where I always chime in, where I'm like, n. You're like, this is so. Look, let me sit up.

[B]

Let me. Let me tell you the truth, okay? When it comes down to this, there's always her side and my side. But I'm going to tell you my side now. I'm going to make a long story short. It was sometime in 2014. I gone to the mall. I seen. Seen her at the Macy's at the Fashion Square Mall in Chevron Oaks. Yeah, she's working there. And she. She was there. I noticed her. I thought she was cute, but you just.

[C]

Cute.

[B]

You were beautiful, my love. You were beautiful. But. But you ever seen. You ever seen somebody so attractive that like, you look at them and it's that one time and that one time only. Only, and you never see them again? Yeah, I thought that was her. Like, you see somebody attractive and you're never gonna see them again. At this time, my cousin had no car. He had. You know, he was asking me for a bunch of rides during, you know, around this time. He was hitting me up and he was like, hey, man, I need a ride at Macy's. I need to go cop something. I need to go copy Polo hat.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, bro, you ain't Kanye. You ain't Rem. You know, this.

[C]

Is the only cousin I really know.

[B]

And so I ended up, you know, one day, kind of like, you know what? All right, I'LL take you to Macy's. I'll. I'll take you. We ended up going. We ended up walking the same department that I seen her at before.

[C]

Oh, wait, at the. It's called. It's called the men's luxury department, which is like Diesel Armand money. Polo wasn't in my section because they have their own. Yeah, Diesel Armani. What is that one? That one. Buffalo Jean.

[B]

No, Buffalo Exchange.

[C]

Oh, no, it's.

[A]

No, that's a couple of.

[C]

Gene.

[B]

The point is.

[C]

But he walked into that department, and that was my department.

[B]

I walked back into that department and I told him, I was like, you know what? Before even getting to that department, I said, there's. This is really beautiful girl that I seen working in this apartment. I probably said, cute, cute, beautiful, whatever. Anyways, I. I told him that. And as we were walking by, she's. There she is now. I thought she was seasonal. I thought she was a seasonal character.

[C]

Baby, I'm seasoned for Erica.

[B]

I thought she was a seasonal character in the show. You know how they, you know, kill off like that.

[C]

Seasonal character, baby, I'm year round.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, she wasn't. No, she wasn't. No, she wasn't.

[C]

Winter, fall.

[B]

Yeah, no, she wasn't. And I was like, yo, that's that girl. That's. That's this. That's the girl I was talking about. She's right there. My game was like, okay, go get your hat. I'm just gonna kind of hang around here, whatever, you know? Yeah, I got 10, right. That's usually what I'd be doing. Sometimes I'll do that more than usual because there's times where I'll be acting like a pinejo, but only because I can't show her my full potential and my full power. I can't. I can't. I can't do it because if. If I show her everything that I can do, then she's gonna be counting on me for everything. There's some shit at home that I. I don't want to do. There's some, you know, the streets that I don't want to do no more.

[C]

You don't do. He's just like.

[B]

My cousin goes get his. His polo hat. We're hanging out. I'm hanging out, looking around. I see him come out the elevator. I'm like, yo, are you ready? We're gonna go pay over there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So as I'm bullshitting, you know, looking at the men's department where she's at, he's kind of taking a long time I don't want her to go to break or lunch or anything like that. I see him coming out the elevator, and I'm like, yo, hold up, hold up. Are you ready? He's like, yes, I'm ready. I'm like, we're gonna go pay over there where she's at. And we ended up doing just that. We ended up going to her department, making line. And I think it was around, like, late November. She's no longer ringing people up.

[C]

She.

[B]

She's behind, you know, hanging up clothes or whatever.

[C]

Cuz, you know, in. In Macy or in, like, sales department, you meet your quota, you're done.

[A]

So you're like, I don't got to do this anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So as. As. As. She was Valianto. Ver. Whatever. Doing what she was doing, I was still. I was like, valeno Ver. I want to give her Vega.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

You feel me? So I'm making line. And I was like, damn, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna talk to this girl. But whatever. We're gonna stand in this line, and the minute we go up the cashier and des. Swap. Swap.

[C]

Okay, so her. Her kids. Okay.

[B]

So it's the longest podcast y' all ever heard.

[C]

Her kids. Her name was Shanique. Her kids got. Her kids got out of school, and she was like, hey, I have to leave. My kids are out of school or early. And we're waiting for Felipe because he hadn't met his quota yet. So I was like, okay, like, we're gonna wait for Felipe. Wait for Felipe. And she's like, no, I gotta go now. And I was like, what the. I met my. Like, I think at that time, it was 2500. I passed my 2,500. Like, baby, I was sold. I was sold out. I was ready to go home. And she was like, no, no. Like, you have to go. You have to go. Mind you, when she was like, I'm out here. He was like, I'm in it. Yeah. So I went up. He went up, and destiny happened. Did you.

[A]

Did you notice him at all?

[C]

No, I did. So his cousin was at Polo. And his cousin was like, oh, like, is this a hat? You know, like, we had. Asking questions. We had winter sales. Yeah. So it was called Christmas sales. So he was like, hey, like, is this it? And I was like, yeah, this is it. And he was like, I didn't work for Polo. Polo was a different department. They're their own department at Macy's. I mean, at that time, they were their own department at Macy's. So I went into the men's collections. I went back and I was like, yeah, that's their own department. And he's like, okay, cool. I went back and then he showed up and I had just gotten this tattoo here, which is a.

[B]

A sunflower with the double infinity.

[C]

This is some boy. He was like. He was like, oh, you're tatted. I'm tatted as too. I just got this and this.

[B]

I say that. I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I. I said, fresh tattoo. You just got that. She's like, yeah. I'm like, yeah, I'm pretty. I'm pretty blasting myself is what I said.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

She's like, oh, really? That's cool. I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know, I just. I didn't even show her everything. I just went like this. I'm like, yeah, you just. So she can see that I'm tatted up. Like right here.

[C]

Mind you, he wasn't paying. His cousin was paying.

[A]

So you're like, I don't even talk because I wasn't.

[B]

I wasn't shopping.

[C]

I was like this broke boy, and then his cousin pain.

[B]

What the are you talking about?

[C]

I'm just kidding.

[B]

He was. I just said, rewind back if you need to. I was in there shop. I was giving somebody a ride. He was shopping. I wasn't. What I need from.

[A]

How did you ask for her number? Did you ask for her?

[B]

So at that time, you know how we talked about vine, you know, dying down Instagram? So around this time, Instagram was. Was fresh. Everybody was jumping on. On Instagram. I had a pretty big following. I had 25, 000 followers at the time.

[A]

Oh, no, 18. She's. I remember the exact 18.

[C]

Say that.

[A]

25 something, baby.

[C]

18 baby. Say that.

[B]

Hold on, hold on. Now you really starting to piss me off.

[C]

You better have Mike relax to you.

[B]

Look, I had 25,000 followers at the time. The reason why, if you ask me, like, why how were you so sure that you have 25,000 was because I kind of kept up with the following that I had because I was working so hard to get the following that I had. So I kind of knew I had a. Like, okay, I got to hit 30,000 or 40,000. It was going that rapid. And so I remember it being 25,000. How she get 18,000? I don't know. Maybe she was talking to 8,000 manager at the time. I. I don't know. Maybe that's what she's confusing.

[C]

But I'm just kidding.

[B]

Y' all see that? See that?

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then you wonder why I think my baby mama was telling the truth.

[C]

Cuz your baby mama got issue.

[B]

So anyways, so. So the point of the story is how do I ask for her number? I didn't. I ended up telling her like, hey, do you have an Instagram? And she was like, yeah. I was like, you know, let me. Let me go ahead and add you. Now. The reason why I didn't ask for her number is because I usually don't have to ask for numbers as you. It usually falls. The number usually falls on my lap. It always lands on my phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's kind of like the game that I be playing, right? That's. That's how I used to run game, right? I did. No, no longer.

[A]

No.

[B]

No more.

[A]

Not the past 10 years.

[B]

That was.

[C]

Let me tell you, his phone code.

[B]

Go tell anybody.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

Exactly. Now, the reason why I wanted her to follow me on IG was because I had the 25, 000 followers. I want her to see that I have a kid, a single father. I want her to see that I'm shooting videos. I want to make her laugh. I want her to see the selfies. Because at this time, I was thirst trapping. See, people call it thirst trapping. No, I'm.

[C]

No, it was thirst trapping because. Tell you why I went under this man's phone. Okay, look, you work in men's collections. I'm not. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I'm not gonna be pretty about it. Men hit you up on the daily because, you know, you work in men's. Armani, men's, Buffalo men's. You know who went to my. My.

[B]

Don't.

[C]

Don't name espinosaas. Oh, you know, like, those type of men go to your. Your sex connection. And then I had this man go there, and he was like, oh, like, my baby mama was like, ew. And he kept talking and talking, talking, whatever. We became close.

[B]

Who became close? You and this.

[C]

You and I. Oh, God. And he's all, like, telling me this stuff, and I'm like, dude, like, out of all the men I could have chose, like, I chose you.

[A]

Yeah, you had options.

[C]

No, I'm just kidding. No, he was. You know what? He was the one that came up. I know he sounds like, so, like, egotistical. Like, oh, I had told them I wanted her to see that I had a kid. Like, he came up so humble at the end of the day because he came up like, oh, this is my cousin, but I do this and this and this and like, you know, like. Like he was so humble. Like, he was so, like. I know he sounds so loud, but when he. When he was talking to me, at least I hope he ain't talking to no other people. Female cuz Curb song. But not at all. Like, when he talks to me, he's very like, oh, like when I met you. Like, you know, like fairy tale. So it's just. It is.

[B]

It is a fairy tale and I want people to know that it was a fairy tale.

[C]

Like, fairy tale.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It was a love. It was the no notebook. Like, just a different version that had money.

[C]

We were broke. We were working nine to five. I was working amazing. I was working.

[B]

No one did not have money, baby.

[C]

I was working at Macy's full time. You were working security guard full time. You had a kid. I had nothing but a car to pay. You ended up hitting me up. And I was like, cool. We went out on our first date after I hit him up, I was a man. I was like, hey, let me me put my balls in my chonies.

[B]

And what? What are you talking about?

[C]

And I was like, damn, you are so, so, so handsome. And you know what he responded with Alan. He said. I said, you are so, so, so handsome. He said, you are so, so, so, so.

[B]

First of all, this.

[C]

This is an extra soul just to make it seem like. Yeah, like he won.

[B]

No, she said, you're very, very handsome with a star emoji, not the actual star. Like, you know how you.

[C]

Yours.

[B]

Yeah, I said. I said you're very, very, very beautiful. On one of her posts, she wasn't posting pictures or anything like that often, mind you.

[C]

I started it right.

[B]

She. Yeah, she did. She did. But I did, I did DM her first where I started the conversation. So right after she said that, I sent her the first dm. The rest is history.

[A]

How did you guys be like, you know what? Maybe let's be in a relationship. How did that happen?

[B]

That was kind of tough because. Because fighting homegirl right here was toxic issues. Homegirl right here didn't have like the best communication skills then and now fast forward. No shade. But I always knew that I wanted to be with her and start a life with her and all of that. However, Des, she was, she was very, very confident, complicated, and so communication was a little off. But as soon as I expressed that I wanted to be with her, I asked her out in the form of the red string of destiny, baby.

[C]

Communication was not off. I'm sorry, I'm gonna interrupt 100. Communication was not off. We do not agree. We do not see AD I till this day. We do not agree. We do not see AD I. But at the end of the day, I think we meet directly in the middle of what we need to and we get done what what needs to be. Get what needs to get done. I have issues expressing myself. I show myself, but I don't express myself. I can show you that I love you, but I can't tell you that I love you. And we went out. Not weird. We went out. You know, you have Toxicos as parents. You know, we did not have the best.

[B]

You never had a real man love you. That's the problem.

[C]

Anyway, we didn't have the best stand.

[B]

On business with that.

[C]

We didn't have the best idols growing up, obviously. So he. He was working a security job. I was working a 9 to 5 at Macy's. It was February 13th. This mofo said. He said, hey, we're gonna celebrate the 13th because I work the 14th. I said, oh, oh, you do? He said, yeah, I do. I was like, oh, okay. I was like, where are we going the 13th? He said, Casa Torres. I was like, okay, cool. I don't give up. But we went to wherever we went to I a stupid tostada salad. Like, I would have ate.

[B]

I don't even remember what I ate.

[C]

You ate some fajitas. You ain't. He ain't fajita. I don't give up.

[B]

Run back. I'mma call. I'm going. Call the restaurant and be like, run back that clip from 20.

[C]

I am there right now. I am sitting right here. He is sitting right there. He said, what do you want? Do you want a kids meal? I said, no, I want a tostada salad. He said, okay, I got a tostada salad. And I. They were like, what do you want? He was like, I'll get a fajita Freddy with this. And he was like, oh, okay, I'll get a fajita salad.

[B]

I was just talking, trying to place a door.

[C]

You were talking too sweet. Anyway, he was like, I'll get. That's how you talk.

[B]

That's how I talk. What are you talking about? Flirty. So I'm flirting with Alan right now.

[C]

Yeah. Anyway, he was like, I'll get fajitas. And I was like, okay, cool. So he gets the fajitas. The next day, I told my friend at the time, I was like, hey, like, I don't give a. What we get. We'll get some stupid crayons, color, whatever. So we get it. Mind you, this was after his baby mama told him I was a.

[A]

So you were thinking. Thinking he was, like, scheduling out a day before, so.

[C]

Because in my head, first of all.

[B]

She didn't say you were a.

[C]

That's what she said.

[B]

She said. Anyway. Oh, no.

[C]

W. We gonna talk about it Anyway, what I. What in my head was like, babe, mama called me this and that. She said this and that. She said I was sleeping with this and this person. And this guy probably thinks, like, I'm out here sleeping with this and this person for Valentine's Day. So he's chose me. So he chose me the day before. And I was like, no, I don't care. Like, I know where he works. And then I knew where his mama lived because I have that toxic personality. I knew where his cousin lived because I have that toxic personality. I knew where everyone he said he was gonna be with.

[B]

This is all new to me. This is all new to me. I didn't even know me.

[C]

And my. Me and my friend at the time were like, hey, let's pull up. We pulled up. This is at his best. Best friend's house. He wasn't there. We didn't see his little Toyota there. We pulled up at his mom's house. He didn't know I knew his mom lived there. He did not know. So we pulled up there, and I told his friend. I was like, hey, like, walk to the back, see if a Toyota Camry's there. He's like, no, Toyota Camry's not there. And I was like, okay, cool. He's not here.

[B]

Can we check? Are you. Are you okay with all this?

[A]

Yeah, I'm okay.

[B]

You're not scared, are you?

[A]

I'm not scared.

[B]

I need some help.

[A]

She's gonna find out where I live after this. She's like, wait, that's not his house.

[C]

When I give you guys the address.

[B]

No, she get. Just give her, like, she's very few details.

[C]

And she'll be like, oh, you made. You made me sound toxic, cuz. Anyway, I'm like, you made me sound toxic. So we pulled up to his mom's house. He wasn't there. We pulled up to his baby mama's new boyfriend's house. Wasn't there. And then we pulled up to the church. Surprise, surprise, he's working. And I was like, So I already knew to prepare. And I was like, oh, I'm gonna buy him A Valentine's Day gift. He likes poetry. He likes this and that. So I bought him a notebook. I bought him.

[B]

The way she says that.

[C]

I bought him paint. And I bought him, you know, just in case. Just in case I got caught. I got caught.

[A]

So he wouldn't be like, why the are you here?

[C]

Yeah, I had those in my back seat ready for anything. So we get to his. This job. He was there. I was like, cool. You get about. You pass. And then my best. Well, my friend was there at the time, and he was like, oh. He's like, you're really here. Like, obviously we didn't expect for him to be there. Like, we. Like hair time.

[A]

You were thinking you were gonna catch.

[C]

Him up on something. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how ghetto, you know, But Vaseline in the hair pulled back, hair tied up like, you can't go there. Earrings off, everything. Like. Yeah. Vaseline was ready to go. And I seen him and I was like, I like, you know, you can't. You can't put the hair down.

[B]

Okay, let me just tell you why I took her out on February 13th. I worked on February 14th, and I couldn't get it off. I tried, but being a security guard, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just. It's. It's tough, you know, getting these, like.

[A]

Where they can call up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, It's. It's last minute, and I was hanging by a thread because I really wasn't taking that job serious, even though I was there for quite some time. And I've been doing the best that I could to protect Jesus Christ. Obviously. It's his church, you know, it's his house. I couldn't get it off. I was very surprised to see her. It didn't even cross my mind to think, oh, she was trying to see if I was actually here. I really thought she pulled up because she trusted me. Because, I mean, I'm never giving her a reason not to not trust me at the time.

[C]

Baby mama is the reason not to trust.

[B]

Yeah, right. And I get it. Yeah. That. I mean, facts. It's true. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But at the same time, like, give a man a chance before he up.

[A]

Give him grace.

[B]

Yeah, give him grace. Give. Give him a chance. Give him his room. Yeah. No, no, not give him his room roses. But you. You gotta give person the benefit of the doubt if he messes up. I get it. But when she showed up, I thought it was the sweetest gesture. It wasn't like, oh, she thought I was kidding. My. It might have crossed my mind, maybe after. But then, but then I was like, no, I mean, like, I'm a solid dude. I was happy though. I was really happy when she came. I was really, really happy when she came. We got to spend some time. I, I, I've, you know, gave her a little tour of what I, what I was doing. It wasn't impressive, but you know, like, oh yeah, this is where I go ahead and I, I look, you know, this is the building that I patrol and then I go walk the street and this is the other building.

[A]

And you know, your life changed. You know that you never saw yourself being a mom or having kids. How did you find out you were pregnant? Did you have any symptoms? Did cravings? How did you tell in the news? How did he react? And how was your pregnancy overall?

[C]

My, you know what? My pregnancies have been ones that women dream about because I had no nausea, no symptoms, no, no nothing. Like, I didn't even know I was pregnant. Had he not said, oh, like, when was the last time you got your period? And I was like, wait, when was the last time? Yeah. And then we randomly got a test, like, you know, like those dottri tests because we didn't, we didn't have money. We got those dollar tree tests. And then I was like, okay, like, it came out positive. I was like, no, let's get those target tests. We went, we got an 18 target test. It came out positive.

[B]

And I was like, so at that time, I have a two year old. The way I was told for my first baby mama. It was an ideal, you know, we were broken up. And she calls me and she says, I'm pregnant. Pregnant. And I'm thinking, oh, she just wants to get back together. But I'm not falling for that. Daz takes this pregnancy test and she kind of just, she calls me in and I go into the bathroom and I'm just like, I'm shocked because it was everything that I've ever wanted with, with her from the minute that, that I, I met her. Like the, the minute, and this is something I didn't say because, you know, that's popped off, you know, about whatever she felt. But the minute that I saw her, this, and this is very important for me to say. The minute that I saw Des, especially that second time, because it was, it's rare to see an attractive person that you're never going to see. The second time that I seen her, I was, I saw her is. Something hit me and I knew that she was going to be the next Person, Person that I was going to spend the, like, you know, she was going to be the person that I was going to spend my life with. I looked there and I'm like, that's. That's the woman that I'm going have children with. That's the woman I'm going to marry one day. We're not married. Not yet.

[A]

Soon. Ah, coming soon.

[C]

Soon.

[B]

But I knew that was the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Yeah, I mean, we, we. We've done 10 years. If you can do 10 years, you're going to do 20, 30, 40.

[A]

What was it like for you? You know, I meant that you, you were like, girl, I don't want to get pregnant.

[C]

You get pregnant.

[A]

What was your.

[C]

At a time in our relationship where I was so upset with him because of something that had happened with baby mama. We had, we had baby mama drama real bad.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And my situation was he was expressing himself to me about her, but yet when he would talk to her, he was so sweet to her.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm like, how the.

[B]

Like, I wasn't sweet.

[A]

You're being cordial.

[C]

Ah, yes.

[B]

No, no, you're right.

[C]

I was like, hello.

[B]

Listen, listen. You gotta choose your battles. Yeah, this was a. Yeah, he chose the wrong battle.

[C]

And anyway, so this was, this, this.

[B]

Was a person that I did have. I had a child with. And you people don't understand this. Like, a baby mama has so much power over you. Once you have a child with someone like that, baby mama can really, really.

[C]

This.

[B]

In this, in this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

In this country, it's. It's like, bro, I could show up and, and be like, oh, my God, like this and this and that. Bro, it ain't. They ain't gonna roll with you. They ain't gonna. Like, and, and that's, that's the sad reality of it. Right.

[C]

And not to say this is her situation, but this is what, this is what the situation seemed to be at the time.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know, like, dude, I, I just came out of high school, I got a job where people were throwing their business. You know, I was, I was, I was young. I was young. I was dumb. So I was like, you know, like, in my head, I was so young that I was like, you know, I was still. High school mentality. I was like, baby mama, throw it at me. Like, it is what it is. And that, that was a problem that I was like, like, I don't care what your baby mama throws at you. Like, her.

[A]

Like, we'll Figure it out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That was my mentality at the time. That was a lot that I had to grow up from.

[A]

So at the beginning, because you were dealing with that, did you feel like when you got pregnant, you found out you were pregnant? You're like this, like, I shouldn't be pregnant. Like, we're having so many problems. Like, we're about to break up. Were you scared with the news?

[C]

I'm gonna let you on a. I'm gonna let you in on a little. On a little secret.

[B]

Me or him?

[C]

Both of us. Secret. We. We had just gotten into. You know, we grew up. We were growing up. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I came fresh out of high school. He came fresh out of. He was grown already. And I came fresh out of. I'm ready to fight for whatever the deal is. I don't care. I have nothing to lose. I was set on, like, I'mma your life up. So we were. We were arguing. I had a truck at the time. I had a. A Suburban. He had a little Toyota, and I rammed into it with my Suburban and I. His little Toyota. And then I ended up pregnant. I ended up apologizing, and then I ended up saying I didn't want a baby, and then I ended up keeping the baby. So it was a lot of back and forth. There was a lot of, like, I'm childish. I'm growing up. I'm childish. I'm growing up. I'm childish. I'm growing up. Until I was. I. I want to say. I know it sounds so, like, bad to say. Until I was about give birth, I was like, I'm about to be a mom. I need to grow the up. It's not a choice. Yeah, like, it's not a choice at this point. It's not an option. Like, get your together.

[A]

So I did you guys become parents, you give birth. What do you guys think was the hardest part for you guys to both adapt to your new life as parents? Do you feel like it was hard to adjust? You know, the sleepless nights, the. You know, what was that like? Like, how do you feel like you guys adjusted to becoming parents together?

[B]

Well, we already had sleepless nights. Nights. You know what I mean? I mean, at this point, a lot of my life was just trying to figure out how I was getting to this point of, you know, I wanted to make money shooting content.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I quit my job. I spoke to Des, and I said, hey, this is what I want to do full time. This is what I have a passion for. I don't know anything else. I I. I can't say sell gym memberships. I can't sell car parts. I don't know. I don't even know anything about cars to begin with.

[C]

He went no job, and I went half job, at least.

[B]

Yeah. Like, we weren't doing much.

[C]

Like, we were trying to figure it out.

[B]

Yeah, we were trying. We were two kids trying to figure it out. So when she got pregnant, it was everything I wanted. I knew she would come around because one thing about me, whether I had it, whether I didn't have it, I was gonna figure out a way to get it. Yeah, always. Yeah, by any means necessary. And she always motivated me. Even being with her in the beginning with no kids or anything, like, I never wanted her to think I was a loser. I don't want her to think I was loser. I didn't want my. My 2 year old at the time to think I was losing.

[A]

You were trying to prove yourself to yourself, to your kids and to everyone else.

[B]

Absolutely. And these were the most meaningful people. These are the people that I love the most at that time, and they motivated me, and I. I needed that push in order for me to get to where I am today. Yeah. Des wasn't as supportive in the beginning, but she came around, she held me down. I mean, when I told her, I said, hey, this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Like, you don't have to be with me. She's like, well, I to be with you. Oh, all right, bet. Like, this is what we're doing.

[C]

No, he was. You know what? Regardless of what he shows now, I think out of both of us, he's had the hardest life. Like, granted. Yeah. Like, my mom and dad did what they did. My. My brother and me went through what we went through. Like, but I've had one supportive parent. Granted, both of my parents are supportive, you know, till this day. Like, my dad supports him, my mom supports him, my mom supports me, my dad supports me. But it's not the support you need now. It's the. It's the support you needed then.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Her mom and I, she, like, we're best friends. We've always.

[C]

But she was. No, no, no, no.

[B]

Not always. Not always. What I'm saying is, it took some time, but it was. It was faster. Because I know how to persuade a woman and I know how to talk to.

[C]

You know, you come. Come.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You come with yourself and a child and big mama drama. It doesn't matter whether you have the baby mama drama or not. You're a Parent, and you don't want your kid to come with a child. You don't want your kid to show up and be like, hey, the person I'm in love with has a kid in drama.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It doesn't matter whether it's a baby.

[B]

Hey, run that clip back. She said, the person that I'm in love with. Hello.

[A]

Like, you.

[C]

You don't want the person that you're in love with. Like, you don't want. I don't.

[A]

It's just not ideal.

[C]

Yeah. No, but even. Even though we fell in love the way we did, I don't want my daughter or my son to come up to me and be like, hey, I'm in love with this person and they have a kid. I don't want to. Granted, if they do, obviously, like, you know, I'm gonna be different from my mom and my dad, and I'm gonna support them, and I'm gonna hope that it all come, like, you know, like, I'm telling. Like I said, I stand ten toes down behind. Anybody says, like, hey, like, this person has, like, three kids, two baby daddies. It's fine. If that's what they want, it's fine.

[A]

Like, I'll support it.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

You talking about your kids.

[C]

Yes. Like, I know. At the end of the day, I don't train a workout. I train to know how to fight at all ages and all stages of my life.

[B]

Y' all need to do a count. Y' all need to do a count. How many times she said fight? Running up on all that? No, it's even the podcast.

[C]

Like, at 50 years old, I'll fight a 20 year old. I don't care.

[A]

I love.

[C]

Like, I'll stand. I'll stand 20 toes. I don't care if I have 10 baby. I'll stand 20 toes behind my kid.

[B]

I just. I do want to say this, though, because I do want to show love. Like, you know, like, as far as her mom went, obviously, at first she was like, you come with this baggage. Obviously, as a mother, as a father, you always want the best for your children.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But her mom really got to know me. She got to know me quick, and.

[C]

He'S a good person.

[B]

Not. Not only did she get to know me, we became best friends. So we would. I would venture her. She would talk to me, and she was literally.

[C]

My mom calls him child number three.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

A child number one, which is her firstborn, whatever. Child number two, which is me, her second born. And then child number three, her father.

[B]

Was a whole different Story.

[C]

Yeah, he was a little more difficult, you know, Espien machismo.

[B]

Like, he saw and he felt the. The love that she had for you for another man. Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's. What.

[C]

Jealous.

[B]

A little bit, yeah. Of course. Of course. And it wasn't. And I. I was never trying to steal his baby away, you know, I was just trying to give her, well, two things. Good dick and, you know, and. And a good life. You know what I mean? She got both. You know what I mean? Obviously, 10 years, she's still here. Right. And I had to put it that way, but I always stood firm and solid. I didn't flip, and I knew that her pops didn't like me. And. Yeah, I mean, I didn't like him either, because he didn't like me. Right. He didn't give me a chance. So as a man, you feel that soft way. But.

[C]

And I think throughout, like, all family drama, too, there doesn't matter what side of the family was there, like, what it was. I was always ten to goes behind them. Yeah. When I tell you, like.

[A]

Like, if y' all are fighting, I'm.

[C]

Not ride or die. Like, I'm dying behind my eyes.

[B]

You know what's crazy?

[C]

I did it. I did it.

[B]

And we've been through that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Together.

[C]

Through my mom's side.

[B]

You want to know what's even crazier, Even up to recently?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We've had that situation happen.

[C]

Yeah. I died where we.

[B]

It was like, two. It was like. It was a. A. It was like a WWE match. Like, two against.

[A]

Like a handicap match.

[B]

Yeah, it was a handicap match.

[C]

And you know what? It's again, it's not even. It's not even against, because at the end of the day, like, you know, I still have love for mine, for my family. Yeah. At the end of the day. Yeah. This is like. This is like my little family. Like, this is something like, you don't. You don't. You don't corrupt. You don't intervene. Like. Like, there's this. There's this thing that my cousin sent me. One of my clothes. Well, not my closest cousins, but one of my cousins sent me. And it says, so. Like, if. If your family doesn't accept your husband, wherever your family's eating, you don't. You don't sit.

[B]

Yeah, you.

[C]

You walk away. And it's true. Like, I've had. I've had uncles that don't want to sit where he sits, and that's fine. Like, you know what? I've had A relationship with you. I've had a relationship with you up until now.

[B]

I think it comes.

[C]

You don't. You don't help me. You don't. You don't. You don't help me. You don't help me bring my kids up in life. You don't help me. Like. Like, you don't help me at all. I think you're there because your family. Yeah, but just because your family doesn't mean I have to accept you.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

And I think that because your blood doesn't mean that it runs through my blood right at the end of the.

[B]

Day, just because your family doesn't mean I'm going to take care of you. Family forever. Her family will never help her the way I can help her. And I feel we're partners for life. Like, there's. There's things like, she can. She can call me for anything. Guess what? I'm gonna make that happen. She can call her family. They'll be like, well, I'm a little tired.

[C]

Yeah. This is one of those situations where, like, I kind of, like, regardless of how my mom and my dad were, I learned from my mom and dad because my mom and my dad are still like. Like that. Like, you can't talk about my mom and my dad in the same room because my mom and my dad will defend each other.

[A]

What was it like afterwards? Did you get any postpartum depression through any of your pregnancies? If so. Postpartum depression?

[B]

Yeah, I think I know which one it was. Arya, I think I got.

[C]

No, I think I got postpartum through both of them.

[B]

Both. But Ari hit you a little bit bit harder, like, it was so new, and it was such a struggle, even for me, because, like, I was doing whatever I could. I mean, I never left her sight, and I was doing whatever I can to make her life feel easier and. And better. You know what I mean?

[C]

We didn't have our own home.

[B]

We did.

[C]

I think people failed to. To see that. Like, we struggled. Like, granted, yeah, we had our parents. Parents, but doesn't mean our parents were always your parents. But my parents weren't always supportive either. Like, when I got pregnant, my mom and my. My dad didn't talk to me at all until Arya was a year old. Huh. I think we both had a hard time. I had a hard time telling him because I'm like, you know, like, I'm a daddy's girl to. Forever. I don't know why. I don't know what it is. I get along with My mom like this. But there's something about my dad that hit such a soft spot where, like, I'm a daddy's girl till I die.

[A]

Did that kind of add it on to like your postpartum, like not having a good relationship with your dad?

[C]

I didn't have a relationship with my dad until her first birthday.

[B]

She. She didn't. I mean, besides me, which I think is the only thing that should matter. She. She really didn't have the best support from like the person that. Yeah. That she wanted to. I mean, this is the person that you grew up.

[C]

Like, my mom's were there, my theas were there. His theas were there. His dad was there. His brother and his sister were there with me. But because, you know, they were pregnant too, we were there like this. We had the kid around the same time. I was October, she was December. We went through it together. So me and his sister in law, you know, we, we. We clashed, but we got along. You guys related a lot to maybe you guys happens. My mom helped me, my aunt helped me. It takes a village. Yeah, it takes a village. I was breastfeeding both kids, but back to back, four years, two years, her two years, him. It took a huge toll. And till this day, I've been telling him, like, there's. There's stuff I want done to my body that will help me feel, like, better with myself. That'll help me feel more comfortable, that'll help me feel like, okay, you know what? This was all worth it. I didn't want them to begin with. It is what it is. Like, I'm not, I'm not a mom. I'm. I'm a mom because I have to be, not because I want to be.

[A]

Did it ever get better for you? Where, you know what, like the depression. I'm gonna get up and be the best mom I can be.

[C]

I had two best friends. I had our roommate, Amy, and I had my best friend Rosie, who helped me throughout the whole process. I was breastfeeding blood, and we were with the roommate and they were arguing and I didn't give a. I walked in on her. She was a nurse for pediatrics. And I'm like, hey, like breast cancer, feeding blood. I don't know what to do. Do I keep feeding? Do I keep this? And she was like, I don't know. Like, let me figure it out. She made some calls. She was like, yeah, they said keep breastfeeding. I called my best friend who at that time was living in Mantika, and she was like, are you okay? Like, she was my mental health, and then my roommate was my physical health. And it just. It. It helped. And he was just there to be like, hey, it's gonna be okay. Yeah. Like, do you need to help shower? Do you need the baby to be watched? Do you need the baby to be showered? Do you need, like. And even though, like, you know, as moms, like, you go through, like, that stage where, like, I got it, like, don't worry about it. He was still like, hey, like, I'll shower the baby. Don't worry about it. I'll wash the baby while you go to sleep. Like, the. So Arya, we've had some issues. Issues with her a lot, actually. She's had a few surgeries done to her where we didn't have a choice. She kind of had to have them done. And I'm very anti social when I go through, like, a stress or really stressful moment. I couldn't be that person at that time. And, like, you know, I know it. Like, till this day, like, I know I could. I still can't, like, be like, if we talk about the situation, you'll cry. Yeah. Like, I still can't be like, hey, let me hug it out with you, because I'm not mentally okay with it being okay. So I would talk to them, and I called one of my best friends, and I was like, hey, you live across the street. Can you come pick him up? And she picked up my son. She took care of him until my dad was able to take care of him. And then when my dad took. Right. My dad took care of him, and we were okay. Well, we were okay. We were like, we don't have to worry about him. We can just worry about her. Yeah. And then she had another situation, and my mom and my dad came out. He was like, hey, like, as long as your parents are here, we're okay. We don't have to worry. And we just had to worry about her.

[A]

I really do think, though, during those postpartum periods, I think it is very important to have that support system, you know, because I do. Whenever we talk about, you know, postpartum depression, I do think it's like one of those things that happens and isn't really talked about enough, you know, And I'm glad you were able to have, you know, that support system that even though you were struggling and going through hell and back, you were able to be like, you know what? I'm gonna be okay. Everything will be fine.

[C]

Postpartum can last up to two years.

[A]

Yeah, I've heard.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you had them back to back. Almost.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So you were like almost four years postpartum.

[C]

I can't personally tell you if I've had postpartum because, you know, you go through it, you get through it and that's it.

[A]

And you don't feel it at the moment.

[C]

You don't feel it.

[A]

Like you don't know that that's what you were going through. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Until this day. Day. I can't tell you if I went through postpartum. I can tell you how I felt throughout those times, but I can't tell you if it was postpartum to end that conversation.

[A]

What piece of advice would you give any women going through any type of postpartum depression, you know, the way they see themselves? What piece of advice can you give 20 women thinking that it won't get better?

[C]

I can't give you advice about yourself because till this day, like, I'm not going to say I'm happy with myself and like everything that I've gone through through postpartum, like the whole body change. However, if you have a partner that's there and willing to like give you even five minutes of relief, or like a stepmother or like a mother in law, anybody who's willing to give you five minutes, at least five minutes of relief, take it.

[A]

Take it. Yeah.

[C]

Because regardless of whether you think like those five minutes aren't going to do anything to you, those five minutes will change your whole perspective. Effective on a whole day. He washed Arya for maybe an hour. He wasn't even showering her. He showered her, he bathed her, he changed her. And even though I was watching him throughout the whole time because I had this issue where like, yeah, I had postpartum, but I couldn't leave her sight and he did it anyway, it was still a relief of where, like, I didn't have to touch her. Like my hands were tied behind my back. I didn't have to deal with the crying, I didn't have to want to do. And like he was like, there's, there's something that the children feel within the, the, the person that's like calm than a mother. That's not calm.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I was not calm whatsoever. I was breastfeeding back to back for four years straight.

[B]

Yeah. Or, or I mean, Jesus. Jesus. Five. I'm sorry, Five. Yeah. Ari said episode two. Two years.

[C]

Yeah, two and two back to back. Arya was two, Jace was two.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So like four years back to back, non stop. And there was a time she didn't.

[B]

Get a break, cuz. I. I remember it was my titty. And then it went from, like, to that point where she got pregnant. My daughter took over the titty, and then I was, no, it's my titty again. And then my son took over.

[C]

It was now it was yours. Your titty now. But two, it was back to back, nonstop. And, man, it doesn't matter if you have five minutes. It doesn't matter if you have two minutes. Any minutes of rel. Even if it's a bathroom break.

[A]

Yeah. Take it and give yourself that break, ladies, because I really do. I feel like every lady, every mom watching at home.

[C]

Mom. Takes it so hard on themselves.

[B]

As a. As a father, as a man, I do want to encourage all the fellas.

[C]

To step up to.

[B]

To. Yeah, to step up and to be like, hey, look, fellas, look, I'm. I'm looking at y' all right now like you. Please, please. Like, it might seem easy for us because all we really doing is. Yeah, but I mean, what we're doing already is. Is what a lot of what men think they're already doing, and that's. They think it's enough. Right. You're. You're providing, you're supplying, you're making money, going out, you're tired. Right. But during these times is very, very crucial times where you have to step up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For your. For your wife or for your girlfriend and give them that extra support.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And. And that's what sacrifice is all about. I just want to say to all the fellas, like, it's not just about the baby. No. It's. It's about your woman who you decided to start a life with. You took that time to message her and to get to, you know, take her on that first day to, you know, wanting to get some. To getting her pregnant, to being there for the gender reveals and the baby showers, being there for the birth. It's way more than just that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it just. I know it might be a lot, because a lot of men deal with mental health just as well as women do, but I. I think I would want to encourage men to just go that extra mile. And it might seem like too much for most men, but just be there, man, because it can. It can really change your life. When you keep your. Your woman happy, your family happy, you get. You create a bigger home where it's based on peace.

[A]

Peace and love.

[B]

Love security. It becomes a sanctuary full of, like, comfortability. Oh, man. I mean, it's a beautiful thing. And I did that. And I can't say no. No person in this world can say that. I didn't.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do that. And I know she agrees with me, which I love. You know, she got to recognize it. But be hands on. I mean, she's tired too. Just like. Just like us being our tired. Women are tired. Just like women are tired being our t. Tired. But, you know, it's just going that extra mile. You know, we. We brought a child into this world. We're gonna do whatever we can to. To give this kid the. The best life that this kid can have.

[C]

And we're very much not the same parent. He's very gentle parent with the babies, and he's very hard. But I think it's a good mix. No, he's very hard parent with the oldest one.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

And because he's getting older, you know.

[C]

But with the oldest one, I'm very gentle parent. Like, d know his three parents.

[B]

No, I don't. I don't even yell at him. I just.

[C]

You know that meme that's, like, scary. His mom, his stepdad, and his dad are very non gentle parents. They're very, like, they want him a structured way.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm very like, hey, you want to stay up at this time? We'll stay up at this time. You want to sleep at this time? You and me can sleep at this time. You want, like, whatever. Whatever he wants, I'll do. But you know what? I don't deal with him 24 7.

[B]

See that?

[C]

That's my kid. That's my kid. That's my kid. But you know what? Like, it. It's. It's so different. Like, I don't. I don't know how to explain it. Like, he comes up to me and he's like, hey, I want to go to Universal. I make it.

[A]

Let's do it. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And my kids come up, but then my kids come up to me and they're like, hey, I want to go to Universal. He makes it happen. I don't. I'm like, no. Did you do this?

[A]

Did you do this?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But maybe it can be because they don't live with you. He doesn't live with you. So you're like, you know what? Anytime I do have with him, I'm gonna give him what he wants so he can have, like, a good relationship.

[C]

Me and him had this conversation recently where I was like, if you ever get another stepmother, he goes, oh, I'm not gonna call her a stepmother. And I was like, if you ever get another stepmother. And he Was like, oh, I'll stay with you. And I said, you ever? And he was like, no, I know. And I was like, okay, just make sure we on the same page. And I think for him it's a little different. For him it's like, you know, all his kids get the same structure, but because his oldest son lives like in between, like here and there, I think he sees it like they all get the same treatment. And I'm just like, to me, I'm like the oldest one shouldn't get the same. Yeah, because you know, like he's not, not always here. So let's like the three days that he's here, let's be a little nice.

[B]

Well, okay. So for granted, as a father of a 12 year old going on 13, this is the time where we, we're very curious. We're very. It. A lot, a lot is changing, you know, So I don't think she yet realizes those kind of things because we do have two children, various small children. I'm trying to prepare my kids even, even my kids now. I asked them like, do you know what daddy does for money? Do you, do you understand why people come up to him and they know, they grasp it. They're very smart. We got very, I'm very fortunate to have children that can really grasp it and understand it. Yeah, understand it. But also to show their support in their little way. They're not going to be, be as supportive as I want her to be or as I want my homies. Like, they're just, they're as supportive as they can be. And you know, all you got to do is just the best you can to give them the life that they deserve, but also grow up with values and, and morals and you know, that hustle and an ambition that you want them to have. Because I do whatever I can to give my kids the best life that they deserve. But I also want them to, to understand what it takes.

[A]

Not everything's easy.

[B]

Yeah, not everything is easy. You know what I mean? So if I made it to that, if not, if I made it that easy for them, I don't want them to think that it's like, oh, well, Daddy's got it, Daddy. I mean, I know, I know people that, that still think that way where, you know what I mean? Like daddy, Daddy.

[C]

But he's sweet about it. He's like, oh, my friends think that your videos are cringe and it's just.

[A]

Like, like, well, that's what.

[C]

But he know, he's, he's a teenager. Like they Think everything is cringe.

[A]

My, my Thinks I'm embarrassing. I'm like, all right, whatever. But you don't say that when I'm over here taking you.

[C]

When you ask for seafood, boy, you.

[A]

I am not weird.

[B]

But it's like that because, like, I watch a lot of these greats.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On, you know, like, I watch these movies, right? Legends. And she says the same thing, and I'm like, how could you say that? I'm not even gonna name drop. But I'm like, how can you say that about.

[C]

No, we only disagree about comedians. We on the road, we have different mindsets. We do have different mindsets, but about everything else, we're, we're pretty, we're pretty into. Except for one recently. But for, for the most part, we're pretty in tune.

[A]

I love it. You know, you guys, we've been having such a great conversation. Y. You know, what time is it? You guys don't know this. It really is not that they. It is 2:00am, you guys. Wow, that is crazy.

[B]

And we can still keep on going, bro. It could be five o', clock, six o' clock in the morning. It don't matter, bro. You know what it is? We don't do podcasts. And this is our first podcast together. And there's so much to say. There's so much that I, I want to let out. I don't even feel like I just, I, I let it out. I really don't.

[A]

I feel like you guys did a good amount.

[B]

Maybe I should get a therapist.

[C]

So.

[A]

You guys can keep up with them. Where do you guys see yourselves in the next five years? Whether that's relationship wise, whether that's, you know, as career wise, and unless I mirror in the next couple years together.

[B]

That was fast.

[C]

That's it.

[A]

That was it.

[C]

That's all, that's all that matters.

[B]

You really do together, like, for the.

[C]

Next five, do you not?

[B]

No, No, I don't. It just feels beautiful.

[C]

Do you know?

[B]

No, I.

[C]

Do you not why I got cover.

[B]

No, I do. I see us together for the rest of.

[C]

Real quick.

[B]

I'm saying, I'm saying, like, I, I, I didn't see it coming. You know, you've been working out. She's been working out every day. And I thought she was trying to build a strength to leave me, and.

[C]

I was just like, I. I'm at 30. I need to be able to fight. My knees need to bend the way they need to bend.

[B]

Relationship, you know, I mean, she's, I'm proud of her. She's come a long way. I love that she's on this whole fitness journey. She's working out, if you know, like, she worked out way, way earlier today while I was getting some work done.

[C]

It was disgusting. I felt like throwing up.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[C]

But it was the worst thing.

[B]

And she's. She's doing her thing and I'm doing my thing. What do I see myself in five years? More movies. There's a lot, honestly, I want to write. I, you know, I want to. I want to write a poetry book. I want to write a children's book. I want to write another book based on relationships, on how to have a successful relationship, you know, on that Steve Harvey type shit. I want to do anime voiceover. I want to do more movies. I want to be more of an advocate for mental health. I want to come out on more shows. I want to do a sex tape with.

[C]

You're tripping.

[B]

I'm saying. But there's so much more with you. You thought I was gonna say Ariana Grande?

[C]

No, I think, you know what, like I said from the beginning, like, this is. This is a him thing, and I support it 100.

[B]

You know, I want to get a clothing line. I want to get, like, my own line of cologne. I mean, there's just so much that I. I really am trying to do. Stand up comedy is another one, which is really big. Get on Netflix, get on Hulu. It's just a lot. It's a lot. It's a big list of things that I want to do that I definitely want to accomplish, you know, before, you know, it's time for me to go.

[A]

What are goals that you have for yourself in the next five years?

[C]

Just being the best mom I can be and supportive girlfriend until we come. My wife.

[A]

You're like, I love it, though. And I feel like you guys will literally accomplish every single one of your guys's goals and more. I've had so much fun. Make sure you guys go ahead and follow them. I'll go ahead and leave their links down below as well as on the screen right here, right now, so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you guys so much. Once again.

[B]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Hey, we don't do this off. We don't do podcasts often, but we had to do it for y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

We had to do it for you, cuz. You're incredible. We love you. You're so talented. So thank you for having us.

[A]

Thank you guys for being.

[B]

I do I do want to end this. I do want to end this podcast with a kiss, though.

[C]

VAN.

[B]

Yeah, but start complaining. Close your eyes. Just so people know. Just so people know that you know this, this real love here, man.

[A]

I love it. And thank you guys again, so much for being here. You guys, thank you guys so much for watching. And we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye, guys. Yay.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Support for this podcast and the following message comes from America's Navy. The Navy offers new graduates hands on training and experience in careers like computer science, aviation, and medicine, plus education and sign on bonuses. Parents, help your grads start their career [e-mail].