Lona Twins Talk All: Twin Sisters, Learning Disability, Mental Health, Tumor, CHISME & MORE!!

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized - "Lona Twins Talk All: Twin Sisters, Learning Disability, Mental Health, Tumor, CHISME & MORE!!"

In the April 11, 2025 episode of "Noche De Pendejadas," host Alannized invites the Lona twins, Brenda and Cassandra, to delve deep into their personal journeys. This episode offers an intimate exploration of their experiences as twin sisters navigating learning disabilities, mental health challenges, burgeoning social media careers, and a recent medical diagnosis. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing the essence of their heartfelt conversation.

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1. Introduction to the Lona Twins

Alannized introduces Brenda and Cassandra Lona, expressing both his excitement and nervousness. The twins reciprocate these feelings, highlighting their eagerness to share their authentic stories beyond their online personas.

Alannized [04:41]: "It's like good nerves, right?"

2. Growing Up as Twins: Relationship and Individuality

Brenda and Cassandra discuss their close-knit relationship growing up, emphasizing both the joys and pressures of being twins. They recount how they did everything together—from playing soccer to attending the same school until high school.

Brenda [08:56]: "We did everything together. We played soccer... But they weren't letting us be in the same class."

Despite their bond, they struggled with maintaining individuality. Brenda often took on the role of the more outgoing and creative sister, while Cassandra remained reserved and independent.

Brenda [05:34]: "I'm picky. I choose all the outfits."

Cassandra [16:43]: "I could do it by myself."

3. Challenges with Learning Disabilities

The twins reveal that their parents initially mistook their learning disabilities for deafness due to language barriers and slow cognitive responses in early childhood. They attended specialized programs that provided tailored support, which ultimately aided their academic and personal development.

Brenda [59:44]: "We had a language barrier and a slow learning disability."

They discuss the stigma and misunderstandings surrounding their conditions, emphasizing the importance of embracing their unique learning styles.

Cassandra [66:01]: "Don't assume they're stupid. Everyone learns differently."

4. Mental Health Struggles: Anxiety and Depression

Brenda shares her battle with anxiety and depression, exacerbated by her role as a CNA and pursuing a nursing degree primarily to support her sister. Cassandra adds her struggles with anxiety, burnout, and an eating disorder, highlighting the immense pressure both faced.

Brenda [32:30]: "I felt like I was losing my spark. I don't want to do this..."

Cassandra [53:39]: "I felt horrible because I wanted to help her."

Their coping mechanisms included therapy, gym routines, and eventually turning to social media as an outlet for their emotions and creativity.

5. Social Media Journey: From Content Creation to Therapy

The twins recount their initial foray into social media, aiming to make people laugh and connect with a broader audience. Their breakthrough came with viral videos, propelling them to significant follower milestones, affectionately termed "Crayolas."

Brenda [75:05]: "We hit 100,000 followers... 4 million views overnight."

They detail the division of responsibilities, with Brenda handling the creative aspects and Cassandra managing the business side. This collaboration not only provided a therapeutic outlet but also a sense of purpose and community support.

Brenda [79:37]: "I'm in charge of YouTube, TikTok, Instagram..."

6. Medical Diagnosis: Cassandra's Tumor and Its Impact

A poignant moment in the episode is when Cassandra shares her recent diagnosis of tumors in her leg. The initial shock and fear of potential cancer take a toll on her mental and physical well-being, further intensifying her anxiety.

Cassandra [98:14]: "We believe they're tumors... I started crying because I was like, what are you talking about?"

The twins discuss the emotional impact of this diagnosis, the uncertainty surrounding its nature, and Cassandra's fear of impending surgery.

Cassandra [100:23]: "I'm hopeful that it's not cancerous, but I just don't want to have surgery."

7. Coping and Moving Forward

Despite the challenges, Brenda and Cassandra exhibit resilience. Brenda credits their social media success and the supportive "Crayolas" community for revitalizing her self-esteem. Cassandra focuses on regaining independence through therapy, medication, and fitness, striving to overcome her anxiety and physical limitations.

Brenda [89:34]: "Mental health is real... everyone matters."

Cassandra [108:46]: "I'm grateful and I love them very much."

They emphasize the importance of seeking help, being kind to oneself and others, and maintaining strong familial bonds to navigate through adversity.

Brenda [96:01]: "Don't stay quiet about it. Speak up about it."

Cassandra [96:47]: "Always be kind to everybody. Everyone matters."

8. Inspirational Messages and Future Outlook

The episode concludes with heartfelt advice from the twins, encouraging listeners to embrace their unique journeys, seek support when needed, and foster kindness within their communities. They express gratitude for their supportive families and reaffirm their commitment to using their platforms for positive impact.

Brenda [90:37]: "Mental health is real... you make a difference in someone's life."

Cassandra [107:09]: "Stay positive. If you're going through something hard, speak up."

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Key Takeaways:

• Twin Dynamics: The Lona twins showcase the balance between a shared bond and individual identity, highlighting the challenges and strengths inherent in their relationship.

• Overcoming Learning Disabilities: Their journey underscores the significance of specialized support and the importance of understanding diverse learning needs.

• Mental Health Advocacy: Brenda and Cassandra openly discuss their struggles with anxiety and depression, advocating for mental health awareness and the necessity of seeking professional help.

• Power of Social Media: Their success on platforms like TikTok serves as both a coping mechanism and a means to connect with and inspire a broader audience.

• Resilience in Adversity: Cassandra's recent medical diagnosis adds a layer of vulnerability to their story, yet their response epitomizes resilience and the pursuit of hope amidst uncertainty.

This episode of "Noche de Pendejadas" provides a profound and inspiring narrative of two sisters navigating life's challenges with courage, authenticity, and an unwavering bond.

Transcript

[Alanized]

This episode of Nocho de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking yeah, every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals, and I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously ripe for for you find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking yeah.

[Aura]

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[Cassandra]

I don't want to go through the same pain.

[Alanized]

What is up everyone? I'm your host alanized and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turn talk show and on the Yo Trago a tus influencers. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight. The Lona twins. How are you?

[Brenda]

I'm nervous.

[Cassandra]

No, I'm good, I'm good.

[Brenda]

Excited to be here.

[Alanized]

How are you feeling? A little nervous. I'm super nervous. You guys. You guys learn to unlearn how to talk. Ah, but how are you guys? I'm so excited.

[Brenda]

Honestly I'm nervous. But I'm excited cuz we finally get to talk to you.

[Alanized]

It's like good nerves, right?

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

Or is it bad nerves? It's not what I expected.

[Cassandra]

I think I'm just excited to tell our story. Cuz all they see on the Internet is like giggles and laughs and now they'll get to see more of like.

[Alanized]

The behind the scenes estamos and they were telling me like a little bit of the stuff they want to talk about and I feel like you guys have such an inspiring story. How was the drive? How did you guys choose your outfits?

[Brenda]

No, we Woke up at 5 in the morning to get ready because we wanted to be traffic and I didn't sleep till one cuz I just straighten my hair because I have hair extensions. I don't even know but I chose the outfit because she can't choose the outfits. We were choosing going back and forth and she chose an ugly ass outfit. I'm sorry but I choose all the outfits.

[Alanized]

So you're the stylist?

[Brenda]

Yeah. Because I have a vision in my hand. If it doesn't come out, I'll make it come. Like I'm picky.

[Alanized]

What was her outfit? She's like a nugget.

[Cassandra]

I was like what did I choose? I don't know.

[Brenda]

You chose like a. Like a. It was here with like a leather pants but it did not know it was.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, if you wear white pants it would look cute.

[Brenda]

No, we, we did try. It wasn't cute.

[Alanized]

You guys does look, you know. You guys look very nice. It was worth it. Waking up 8:30, which for me is super early. When you guys told me to do this at 11. I was like, you're like, can we do 11:30? I'm like, no, you guys. And when I was getting ready, I texted them and I was like, hey, like, let me know what your ETA is according to your GPS. And they were like, oh, we're 30 minutes away. I was actually on my way to San Diego. I was on my way to San Diego on Monday. We were actually supposed to film this yesterday, but we had to reschedule. Tell us a little bit about who you guys are and what you guys do.

[Brenda]

Go ahead. You can talk now.

[Cassandra]

I do social media, but I also work at a hospital as a cma.

[Brenda]

We do social media.

[Cassandra]

We do social media. I also work at a hospital, and I'm 22 years old.

[Brenda]

We're 22 years old. Yeah, we do social media. We do comedy skits.

[Alanized]

I really do see, like, the balance of each other, and I feel like we see that a lot with a lot of twins, you know? Did you guys have that a lot growing up?

[Brenda]

Who was you? I. Yo soy masinojona. Pero yo rapio. Wait, what?

[Alanized]

It's like, oh, something serious.

[Brenda]

Yeah. And me, like, I just get mad easily.

[Alanized]

So you are like, the type of person that's like. If you're mad, they're like. This episode of Nocho de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking dot com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking dot com to find a place stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone, no matter who you are. Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah. Vamos pesa platicarto. Eso porcabia tenemos muchas platicas el dia de hoy. And I really want to go more into detail about your guys's life growing up being twins, because I feel like it's super interesting growing up. It must have been hard, right? Or no. Did you guys think it was, like, fun?

[Brenda]

Yeah, we did everything together. We played soccer. Well, the only bad part is that they didn't let us be in the same class. We wanted to.

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

But they were like, no, you guys can't, because, well, now I'm very co. Dependent on her. But you think, oh, no.

[Alanized]

But you guys went to the same School or no.

[Brenda]

Yeah, we did.

[Alanized]

Okay.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

Until we were, like, in high school. Like, 10th grade, huh?

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

You guys have a crazy, you know, birth story. So did your guys's parents know that they were having twins? Were they expecting twins?

[Brenda]

Well, my mom calls us miracle babies because we were not supposed to be here. We were premature. We're supposed to be born in July, but we were born in May, two months prior to our due date. The reason why we were earlier is because we were. Our umbilical cord.

[Cassandra]

Our umbilical cords were stuck one side to each other, like, over our necks.

[Brenda]

To the point my mom had to go to the. Every single week to the doctor so they could be checking us because they knew something was wrong. But when they found out, my dad literally said, no la chinges.

[Cassandra]

Yeah. And they told her, she waits longer. One of us would have been born dead. Another one crazy.

[Brenda]

Once my mom just. She couldn't stay with us, unfortunately. It was just us and nicu. She would come visit him. No, it was two months. And then we would forget to breathe, though. So, like, it was that.

[Cassandra]

That's funny.

[Alanized]

Wait, you guys would forget to breathe?

[Brenda]

Yeah, like we would in a deep sea. Like, literally, like, you know, it's.

[Cassandra]

No, it's because when my mom told us the story, she's like, how is that funny? I'm like, it's because you think logical.

[Brenda]

Like, right now, breathing.

[Cassandra]

Like, how do you forget to breathe? She's like, I don't know that you guys would just fall asleep and forget to breathe. So we would have to tap you.

[Brenda]

Guys to wake up, you know, at.

[Alanized]

A very young age. I think at two months. You got eye surgery. Why did you get surgery?

[Brenda]

My mom told me yesterday. But it was, you know, we have la and they starts to grow and. And stuff. So I guess that's what happened. I couldn't keep. I don't know which eye was, so I just know it was one of my eyes, so I had to get surgery. So I feel like my eyebrows are not the same anymore. Girl has to do with your eyes. I think it has to do my eyebrows.

[Alanized]

But did that affect, like, your vision at all?

[Brenda]

No, I can see. I. We wear glasses, but we didn't start wearing glasses till we were two. But, no, it didn't affect. Well, I didn't know I was two months. I didn't know I had surgery.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, apparently, because I have an Ernie next to my umbilical. No, my belly button.

[Alanized]

How old are you?

[Cassandra]

I think we're babies, too. I was like, no.

[Alanized]

That'S crazy. What it was like growing up being twins, because I always feel like that's super interesting. Las vestiani while growing up?

[Brenda]

Yes.

[Alanized]

Did you guys like it?

[Cassandra]

Yes.

[Brenda]

I love that I still. Today look, we're much right now.

[Alanized]

She's like, I don't. She don't look like she likes it.

[Brenda]

Like it, but I love it. Like, I first noticed, like, growing up, I did. But then we went to middle school, high school. I'm like, I know. Like, we wouldn't dress the same, though. No, we wouldn't. Brenda would go out. Girl.

[Cassandra]

She would.

[Brenda]

She would take a blanket too. I remember I would have my, like, veins at the time, and I would. But I would tell him, like, do a regular thing. Like, dude, come on.

[Cassandra]

Like, I have to look good. And I was like, you know, like, I never cared.

[Alanized]

Would your guys parents kind of, like, encourage it too? Like, they liked seeing you guys dressed up alike or.

[Brenda]

No, they didn't mind. They didn't. They thought it was cute, but they were okay with her not matching with me.

[Alanized]

Was there a moment where you're like, you know what? You know my kid all the time. You're like, today, actually. Yeah.

[Brenda]

We were fighting yesterday about the outfit.

[Cassandra]

I was like, I don't want to wear this. She's.

[Brenda]

She said we could wear this, we could wear that.

[Cassandra]

I was like, no, I don't want to wear that over the.

[Brenda]

I. I like to match with her because I feel like it's. It gives memories, you know? Like, I feel like once you start growing up as a twin, they start to, like, do their own thing. But I feel like this keeps us.

[Alanized]

Like, together, you know, sink as one. Why do you feel like you don't, like, kind of matching or kind of wearing the type of outfit she wants you to wear?

[Cassandra]

Because she wants to be more girly girl. I'm not. Like, I could be for a moment, but I'm more like, I want to be in sweats or, like a hoodie.

[Brenda]

We do. We're always in gym clothes anyway.

[Alanized]

Was that something hard for you guys growing up? Because I feel like as twins, it's kind of hard to, like, find your, you know, individuality as a person when you're a twin. Was that something that you guys struggled a lot growing up?

[Brenda]

I feel like I'm more like. I'm more energetic and very, like, oh, going. She's more reserved.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, I think.

[Brenda]

I think that's what makes us good, like, a good duo, because she's the opposite of me and I'm more Like, loud. And so I feel like we click and we're always like this all the time.

[Alanized]

Was that hard for you growing up? Because I'm getting a sense of like, you wanted to, like, you know, there is mass girly girl, Torah's mask, you know, outgoing. And you are more. If you were to, like, be able to choose your clothing today, comotiviras when you do it.

[Cassandra]

Well, I don't mind this outfit.

[Brenda]

It's because she wanted to come.

[Cassandra]

Like, the skirts are cute and dresses and everything, but I'm more like, okay, just wear jeans or, like, shoes. She's more like, you can wear heels with this. But I'm like, no, I'm more chill. Like, I want to be comfortable because if we're going to be in an outfit all day, I want to be comfortable. And she's like, who cares?

[Brenda]

Like, well, it's because I'm like, let's get out our comfort zone. You never know. What if we like it? Sometimes she does, though. Sometimes she does. Yes, I admit it. You like it sometimes.

[Alanized]

How was it for you guys in school? Did you guys have, like, the same friends? Like, did people confuse you guys a lot in school? How was that? Like, honestly?

[Brenda]

Yeah, they did confuse us. I was like, dude, all the time. We'll be like. And we'll look at each other like, dude, do you not see we're talking about. No. We had the same friend group. Did we? Yeah, we did.

[Cassandra]

I don't think we ever had different friends.

[Brenda]

Like, if it was her friends, you had to be my there. Her friends had to be my friends, and my friends had to be her friends. And if they didn't like her, I'll get mad. Same thing. Like, we had each other's bad thing.

[Cassandra]

Like, if our friends will say something to each other, like, hey, nothing. Like, only I could do it.

[Alanized]

You're like, if you're telling her, you're telling me too. Wait, did you guys ever get in fights growing up?

[Brenda]

No.

[Alanized]

Did girls ever would talk on you guys because you guys were twins or for whatever reason?

[Brenda]

Because we're very. We're very. Like, we're friends with everyone. I feel like we're very social.

[Cassandra]

We're energetic. Like, when we're together, we're like, giggles.

[Brenda]

And our energy is more like, I like everyone to feel welcome. Like, I don't like when they. Someone feels this included. Especially, like in our parties and stuff, our family parties, sometimes they bring more people, and I don't like that they feel like they're like this. Like, I don't like them. Like, I go talk to them. Like, hola, comostas. Come on, let's go. Like, I'm very like that. She's like that, too. Because I know how it feels like to be very. Like, you feel bored or you feel like you have no one to talk.

[Alanized]

To about, you know, finding your individuality, you know, Was that hard growing up? Like, trying to be like, this is what I like. But, like, people kind of sometimes see us as one like that. People go, the twins. The twins. But it's not really like the twins. It's like, what does Brenda want? Yeah, you know, Cassie want. Was that something that you guys struggled with growing up?

[Brenda]

Yes and no. Like, I didn't really think about it until later on because I feel like, again, like, I was very codependent on her. So I feel like we had to do everything together because I was so used to it. Like, to. Even in high school, like, I would want in every single class with her because I was like, we do everything better together, you know, and if I needed help, she would help me. Vice versa. I'm trying not to be codependent on her now. I'm trying to be more independent because I have to be independent. I'm starting to drive again. I have my license, but it gives me anxiety. But we'll get to that later. Growing up, I just felt like I had to do everything with her because that's what I was used to, you know, body minding. I was never like, oh, I have to do by myself. It was always like, if she does it, I'll do with her, and if I do, she'll do with me, because I feel comfortable with doing everything together, you know?

[Alanized]

Do you feel, Cassandra, you were more, like, independent or just kind of like, oh, you know what? I can do things by myself. I don't really care. Or were you also very codependent on her?

[Cassandra]

No, I wasn't called. If I'm more to this damn independent. No, I could do it. I could do by myself. But she was very attached to me. Like, she's like, no, let's do it together. I'm like, you. You don't have to do everything I do. Like, you can do your own thing. She, no, we have to. I'm like, no, you really could do your own thing. I mean, she's getting a little better, but I feel like she's still dependent to me. And I told her she's her own person. Like, you don't have to do everything.

[Alanized]

With me if you're so codependent.

[Brenda]

No.

[Alanized]

Honestly, have you guys talked about things like that?

[Cassandra]

Yes.

[Brenda]

Yeah, we have. No, I feel like that that's the one thing. Like, I feel like we've always been like this though. Like, I don't think we ever really fought like that, have we?

[Cassandra]

No, it's not about fighting. He's asking like, well, we're going to be together.

[Brenda]

We're going to be cheekless.

[Alanized]

She's like, no.

[Brenda]

I said, actually, no. Let me tell him. Let me tell him. Let me tell you. Let me tell him. Because it was my. It's my thing. I said we're going to move into like, we're going to live right next to each other, one house. And then I'm going to live right here and she's going to live right here and that we're going to be neighbors. Cuz we're going to be doing like we're together. Wherever she goes, I'm going with her. I don't think it is. Not yet.

[Alanized]

What do you think, Cassandra? Cassandra doesn't seem like that's what she's thinking.

[Cassandra]

The thing is we talk about the future because I'm like, we're growing up eventually. See, we're gonna get with someone, like, you know, whatever.

[Brenda]

And she's like, well, if I have.

[Cassandra]

To, I'm gonna go live with you. I'm like, I am just kidding. I'm like, but what if that's not an option? Like, I'll just go like to your house or vice versa.

[Brenda]

Like, you come over, like, live with.

[Cassandra]

Me, it's a whole different thing. She's like, no, we have to do everything together. Like, we'll live together. She even had the idea of marrying twins.

[Brenda]

Oh yeah.

[Alanized]

I was literally about to ask.

[Brenda]

I actually do every time, like over again. When I was younger, I was like, like, I'm gonna marry one twin, you're gonna marry the other twin. But no, that's not gonna happen.

[Alanized]

I feel like that's hard though, right? Because I'm. Yes, of course. I feel like even though you guys look alike, I'm sure you guys have different tastes. No, that you're like, twins is not an option.

[Cassandra]

She has a type. I don't even have a type. Like, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

[Alanized]

So when you have boyfriends, how's that? Like, do you guys feel like you guys get closer or because you're too stuck doing your thing with your boyfriend normal? Do you feel like you kind of get jealous a little?

[Brenda]

Well, it's not really jealous. I'M just very protective for her because, like, prior to her experiences, I'm more like an oh no. So I kind of see things from a different lens than she does, obviously when she was dating. So I'm very protective of her. Like, if someone obviously was dating the guy, I would be like, you better not. If you it up, I'm gonna slap you because that's my sister. Like, I don't like seeing her Saturn things. I'm. She's more. She's calm. She's very, very calm. But when it comes to, like, me when relationships, she's very nonchalant, which is not a bad thing. But I'm the no. 1. I'm like, don't. Don't hurt my sister. I don't want to see my sister's side, you know?

[Alanized]

This episode of Noche de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. I love using booking.com for all my hotel needs. For those of you guys that don't know and don't follow the behind the scenes of everything, yo siempre le sedicho que normal mente. When I have an out of state in Vitado par el podcast, I usually take care of flights and Hotel. And booking.com makes it so easy for me to book the perfect hotel. Uno tel amigas que tes Supervisor Cost efficient no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking yeah.

[Cassandra]

Foreign.

[Aura]

This podcast is brought to you by aura. By the time you hear about a data breach, your information has already been exposed for months. On average, companies take 277 days to report a breach. That's nine months where hackers have access to your personal data, your name, address, phone number, even your Social Security number before you even know it's out there. Think about it. Nine months is enough time for criminals to open accounts in your name, rack up debt, and disappear, all while you're left dealing with the mess. And when the company finally tells you it's too late, the damage is already done. Data breaches aren't slowing down. They're getting bigger. And the delays in reporting them aren't helping right now. Your personal information could already be on the dark web and you wouldn't even know it. How long do you want to wait before taking action? That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. Additionally, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, offering a robust safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura goes the extra mile by scanning the dark web for your sensitive info and alerting you instantly if anything is found. And if ID theft strikes. No need to panic. Aura's US based 24. 7 broad resolution team works around the clock to fix it fast and get you back on track. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online including a VPN for secure browsing data broker opt out to stop companies from selling your personal information, a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.com defence to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a U r a.com/defense. Certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details.

[Cassandra]

An example I would say I'm like if I'm with a guy and a girl goes up to him I will literally like I don't care like burn up like oh no.

[Alanized]

She's like.

[Cassandra]

I don't care like I really don't.

[Alanized]

So what's your plan for you in your mind? Like when you find the perfect person you get married. Is Brenda moving over?

[Brenda]

Who knows you'll make us up in middle.

[Cassandra]

Well I don't know about moving it together. I mean we could probably talk about that more in depth but that has crossed my mind. Said maybe we'll live near each other. I could drive to you so I.

[Brenda]

Can give you a space.

[Cassandra]

Cuz yeah with when you're married obviously. So I'm like oh let me just go visit you and you're your own house.

[Brenda]

Well it's cuz like like I don't really see like that like it's cuz I. I don't think that far in the future. You know like I used to say that but obviously now we're growing, we're getting Older and when you're going to be 23.

[Alanized]

No. But you guys are getting older.

[Brenda]

No. Yeah, but I used to think that I'm like, no, I want to be with Cassie. But if it does come to the case, like, later on that we live on our own and we don't have no. A partner, obviously I'm gonna live with her. I do see marriage in the future, but I don't see, like, anytime soon. Like, eventually we'll move out and I want to live with her.

[Alanized]

I also do think it's like, pensamento. So maybe you guys haven't thought about it that far because you guys live together, do everything together today. That maybe the thought of, like, not doing things together is kind of, like, scary or it's kind of like, no, But I'm sure you guys are going to know what to do and how to go about it a little bit more about what it was like with the pressures of being twins. Because I'm sure growing up, who was like, the smarter twin. Like, if you had to be like, oh, she got the good grades in school.

[Brenda]

We were like, evened out. I feel like, like I was smart in some stuff and she was smart. Like, hey. She would tell the story about the test. We were in ninth grade. I took her science test for her. She took my English test. So while I was in English taking her science test, she was taking my English.

[Alanized]

Wait, you guys swapped places?

[Brenda]

No, she just gave me her login and I.

[Cassandra]

She gave her the login and then.

[Brenda]

While she was doing it, she was taking that test. We switched. So we're taking each other's tests.

[Alanized]

Did you guys ever do that? Like the switching in class?

[Brenda]

It's because the high school went to was small. So they renew who we were, and they wouldn't put us together until 10th grade. They finally realized, like, I kept telling us, like, put her, like, we do really good together. And it was true. We'd always did it, split the work in half so it wasn't a hassle. Like, we would take college classes when we were growing up in high school. So she would do half of the homer and I'll do the other half, and then we'll help each other.

[Alanized]

Did you guys ever feel, like, the pressure of, like, people telling you guys, like, look, your sister's doing this good. Ponte las pilas, vice versa. Was that something you guys struggled with growing up?

[Cassandra]

I think yes, a little bit. Because they're like, well, you guys are twins. You guys are supposed to do everything together. I'm like, yeah, we're twins. But then they. She's. She and I, me, we have the same face. Yes. But at the end of the day, her personality is different, and I'm different too. When we got out of high school, we were both CNAs. And then I feel like Brenda felt the pressure to kind of follow what I wanted to do, even though that's not what she wanted to do. I talked to my parents about it, and people around, I'm like, at the end, they were twins. Yes, but she doesn't want to do what I do, and it's okay. Like, she could do what she likes. We're our own person, and we're not supposed to do everything together.

[Brenda]

In high school, we. It was all just medical stuff. So I was molded into my head like, oh, I just want to do medical. I. I didn't know anything else but medical because our school was just based on that. Anything has to do with the medical field. Like, I had an internship at our school, and I did it, and I remember I didn't like it. Like, I think they made me cry because they were rude to me. And I was like, oh, maybe just one time experience. And I was very gullible at the time because I. I believe everything. I didn't see the bad in people. I just want everyone to be my friend. Then after that, I was like, okay, like, I want to do it because Cassie wanted to do it. Like, she really wanted to be a nurse. So I was like, okay, if she wants to do that, I'm gonna do it. Because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just thought I was like, oh, we'll do it together. We'll help each other. Because we always helped each other, you know? Then after high school, that's when we went to college and I started pursuing nursing. I started realizing I didn't like it. I was just doing because I felt obligated. I was like, well, not obligated. I just. I just didn't know anything else, you know? That's literally all I knew. So I was like, oh, well, I guess I'm gonna do this, because that's all I know. I don't. I don't know anything else. I don't know what I want to do. How I see it now, it's like, how are you supposed to know what you want to do? You never really been in the field, you know? But I didn't like it. We were doing it for two years while still going to college, still trying to be a nurse, but I didn't Like, I just kept saying, like, I. I'm. I'm gonna do it because Cassie like to do it. I didn't mind being a cna. It just became a routine. And I started getting burned out. I started getting anxious and depressed because I started. I. I literally all the time would wake up like, like, okay, here we go again. Like, I don't wanna do it. It just felt like a side.

[Alanized]

It was just draining.

[Brenda]

And I started feeling I was losing my spark. And I finally was like, I don't.

[Cassandra]

Want to do this.

[Brenda]

So I switched to a different place closer to home with her. And that was the worst mistake we ever did. It was so toxic. The nurses would yell at us. They wouldn't help us. Like, I. I would cry there too. Yeah, I would break down there. Like, really, really bad. I would cry before work. Break down, break down.

[Alanized]

What's something that they did that made you guys feel so bad?

[Brenda]

They would make us feel like we weren't doing enough. And they would make us have too many patients. Instead of helping us, they would have more workload. I didn't mind being saying, I love my patients. Like, Tuesday. Like, I loved it. I just felt like the environment we were in was in it. And then, same thing when I was in my internship. Some of them did treat me nice, but some of them did yell at me. And I was like, well, I didn't. I didn't know I was an intern. I wasn't getting paid. I didn't know. Some of them wouldn't teach me. They would just expect me to do it. So that was the case. And then I finally realized. I was like, I don't want to do this. I took one of the prereqs for nursing, and I was like, I don't. I. I knew I started. That's when my anxiety started kicking in really bad. And I know. I was like, this is my body's telling me, so I need to step away from this. So I quit being a cne. I stopped working completely because I. I went into depression. Like, I would cry for, like, every single day before work. When I'll get home, I'll cry. I would be locked in my room. I wouldn't want to do anything because I. I feel like everyone around me was just, like, knew had their purpose already because she wanted to be a nurse. I'm like, she already knows what she does. And I was like, what am I gonna do? Like, I don't want to be stuck being a CNA for the rest of my life. I don't want to feel it in this routine. I was like, I have no purpose. Like, I just was so depressed. And I was really good at hiding it, though. Very, very good. My parents didn't know about it until one day we went to a family party, and I. I just completely lost it there. I was talking to my mom.

[Cassandra]

She.

[Brenda]

No, I was quiet, actually. I was sitting like this, and my mom's like. And I literally would go, like. I wouldn't talk. I would just say, like this. Do you want to eat? And I'll. I would tell her, no. I didn't want to do nothing. I didn't want to go back to work. I didn't want to do nothing. I. I quit college. My parents were kind of concerned for me because I. I just kept changing my major. After a while, I would just change it just to change it. I didn't even know what I want. I just want to do it. I would convince myself, like, oh, I want to do it. But I never wanted to do it. I just wanted to just change the major. And I was going the easy route because I was like, college is hard. It is hard. I give props to everyone that's does go to college. It's very hard, and it was very draining for me. I feel like. Like, I. That's when I. My anxiety plays a big role with how I am as a person. If I had homework, I had to do my homework right there and then if I didn't do it, I couldn't. I couldn't do nothing else in my. Like, I had to do it that if I got assigned homework that day, I had to do it there, like, right on the spot. I couldn't go work to the gym. I couldn't go play soccer. I couldn't go eat like I could. I would stay there until I would finish it, because if I didn't do it and my mind would tell me, like, you're gonna fail. You're gonna follow. You're not gonna do it. You're not gonna do it. You're not gonna. If you don't do it right now, you're gonna follow. You're gonna. Gonna feel in life. So my. I think for me, I just get anxious as a person, naturally, for everything, now that I notice. But, yeah, my. When I finally. My mom finally found out, she cried. I didn't want to tell her about.

[Cassandra]

It because I was like, well, I.

[Brenda]

Don'T want my mom and my dad to be sorry for me, you know.

[Alanized]

Or disappointed that you didn't want to go to school anymore. Was that hard for you to tell them, like, hey, you know what? I don't want to pursue this anymore, because something that you really wanted to do. What sparked your interest in trying to do nursing and being a cna?

[Cassandra]

The school that went to offer the program, and they paid the whole program.

[Brenda]

So I took it.

[Cassandra]

I took advantage. I was like, well, I want to be an rn. Like, this is my foot in the door to take the program. I passed. I got offered a job to work at a mental health facility, which I actually enjoyed. Thanks to working at that facility, I learned a lot and to be patient with patients and everyone around me. I think I did get burned at a point, or it might have been Brenda, kind of rub it in a on me.

[Alanized]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

Because I was like, oh. Like, maybe this is not what I want to do. So I did also leave the place we were at, and then the second job, I did leave as well, and I was like. Kind of like, man, what am I gonna do? I also didn't want to do nursing. So I was in a space. I believe I was tunny. I was in a space in, like, in my life where I'm like, I'm 20 years old, and I don't know what I want to do with my life. And I was comparing myself with a lot of people my age.

[Brenda]

I was like, how is that?

[Cassandra]

They're about to finish college. They do this. I'm like, and I have no idea what I want to do. I literally learned that. I'm like, it's okay. You. You don't know what you want to do. There's no blueprint in life where it says, I need to be graduating when I'm 22. I need to have a job at this age. I need to have kids at this. Like, there's no blueprint.

[Alanized]

There's no timeline. Yeah.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

And exactly. I didn't understand it. I was very frustrated with myself. So I stopped working as well for a short time because my grandpa had Alzheimer's, and I was taking care of patients at Alzheimer's. He kind of gave me that spark again to go back in the field. And because of him, I've been working back as a CNA since then.

[Alanized]

That's crazy. And it's so amazing that, like, you found again, your passion for it, you know, Nos cuenta no poquito that, you know, you kind of started doing it because, you know, your sister was doing it. But then somewhere down the line, you really did realize that that was not something you wanted to pursue or do for the rest of your life. Did you guys have convos as sisters where you were kind of like, you know what, Brenda? No lotines cassette. If so how did that con go? And how hard was it for you to be like, you know what, maybe I don't gotta do this just because my sister, my twin sister does it.

[Brenda]

At the time when she, I stopped.

[Cassandra]

Working, she was still working for a little.

[Brenda]

Yeah, just for a little bit. And then that's when I fell into depression. I would just isolate myself a lot. And I was like, you. Like, I kept convincing myself like, oh, maybe you just like you maybe just cuz you're burned out. And I was like, no, maybe. I don't know. I just, just was lost to the point where I lost everything. Like I just would stay home, she would try to take me out. I learned how to drive.

[Cassandra]

So I was like, oh, let's go to the beach, let's do this. I was trying to distract her, but I did have a conversation with her and I think I had a conversation with my parents where I said, look, I know we're twins, but I'm like, I feel like you're pressuring her into doing what I'm doing. I'm again, yes, we're twins, but it doesn't mean we have to do the same thing. I'm like, I feel like she's pressured by you guys. Well, not necessarily pressure, but like by like the idea like, oh, I have to do something because she's doing it.

[Alanized]

Or I have to choose a nice career because my twin sister is also choosing like a good career type thing.

[Brenda]

Yeah, exactly.

[Cassandra]

And I, and I talked to her, I was like, look, you don't have to do it if that's all you want. Like, trust your gut. She was still like, no, I had to do something. Like I'm used to.

[Brenda]

Yeah, I was in that mentality. I was like, I'm useless. I'm useless. Like I, I can't do nothing. I can't even drive. I can't even keep a good job. I couldn't. I just, I just want to make my parents proud. Like I. That's all I wanted. I was like, Tuesday. Like, like that's all I care about. Like my parents mean the world to me. Like they're everything to me. I love my parents out of my family. Like, I just want them to be happy and like I. Everything I do is for them. So I was like, I really, like, I just want to do something for them to like, because they do so much for Us. So in my mentality, I was like, I. I just want to make my parents proud knowing I know I was making them proud, but I just wanted to do more. But, yeah, I went to depression to the point where, like, I wasn't allowed to be by myself anymore because I was having suicidal thoughts. To a point where I thought, like, killing myself. Like, I wanted to take pills or, like, come myself because I didn't. I just didn't want to be here. And I. I would say it a lot. I would say to my mom, I just don't want to be here. I don't have a purpose. Like, I don't find. Like, I don't find anything here. You know, I was like, why am I here? Like. Like she. I felt like she had it all together. And I was like, I don't. Like, why. Why am I existing? Like, why can't God just take me? You know? I told my. I don't know, I can't even drive. Like, I can't do nothing for myself. I'm so co. Dependent on Cassie.

[Alanized]

Did you feel like at that moment, like, oh, she's the better twin in that moment internally, like, you know, when we're going through things, is that, like, one thing that you thought? Like, you know, you're telling us that you felt like you weren't doing anything in those moments? Did you feel like, I don't need to be here. My sister's here. She's doing amazing.

[Brenda]

Yeah, I was like, maybe, like, it's like, I was like, God, like, yeah, but I couldn't find anything, like, a purpose. And I was really depressed. Like, I didn't do nothing. They were gonna call the cops on me because I was really bad. I would yell at. I don't want to be here. I just want to kill myself. I just. I don't. I don't belong here. Like, I don't know why God brought me to this world if I can't do nothing for myself. To the point Cassie wouldn't even want to. She just wanted to stay with me because I. I was really bad. Like, I just. I lost myself completely. I wouldn't do nothing. I would just stay in my bed, laying down. I wouldn't eat. My mom would try to cheer me up. She'll try to take me to a therapist, but I was like, I don't want to see a therapist. I just don't want to be here. It was like that for months. And my sister would dare me to call the cops because I would try to hurt myself. But they would always watch me because I wasn't allowed to be alone. I wouldn't even go to the gym. I wouldn't do nothing. Cassie would try to cheer me up. I tried and tried to find something. I would change majors all the time. I just. Just would just sit there. I felt like I was just surviving at that point. I just didn't have a purpose. And I. I was told, kaz, I don't know why I'm here. Like, they have you. Like, you're. You're not in a mean way. But I feel like she was always better stuff because I was like, Cassie has it all together. She's very confident herself. Like, she's very driven in life, you know, And I feel like I couldn't. And I. I was telling Press, like, I don't know why I'm here.

[Alanized]

How did that make you feel, Cassie? Like, oh, yeah, you know, you're twin. Twin sister tell you that, you know, she feels like she has no purpose. And then almost telling you, like, oh, they have you. You have your together. Did that make you feel bad in the sense of, like, oh, my God, I don't want her to feel bad because mestoy superando or I'm doing things that I want to do that make me happy, that I want for my future. What was your point of view when that whole situation was going on?

[Brenda]

I felt bad because I feel like.

[Cassandra]

She was comparing herself a lot to me. And I explained to him, like, you don't have to be what I do, what I'm doing, that you don't have to do anything I'm doing. But she kept saying, like, my parents.

[Brenda]

Like, look up to you a lot.

[Cassandra]

Because you're, like, on top of it. You're really like, I'm gonna do something that I'm do that. And me, like, I don't know what I want to do with my life. I felt bad because I wanted to help her. So I was like, okay, maybe you. You need to try a different field. Like, maybe the medical field's not for you. And I was like, do you want to do this?

[Brenda]

She's like, no.

[Cassandra]

At the time, I remember she said, I just want to do social media. And I was like, well, you should do it. Like, give it a try. She's like, yeah, but, like, it's not working. And, like, I'm pretty sure everyone knows, like, social media is, like a constant thing. We have to be consistent. But when she wanted to do it, she was consistent. Like, I don't see results. Like, this is going Nowhere that's. I want to be an rn, but I don't even like it. Like, I felt bad because I wanted to help her, but I didn't know.

[Brenda]

How to help her. That's why I was like, oh, I'll.

[Cassandra]

Take you here, I'll take you there.

[Brenda]

I'll buy you this.

[Cassandra]

I don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, I remember going to work too. She will cry. Like, break down crying. And I was like, I don't know how to help her. Like, I just felt bad at seeing her because I'm like, I don't know.

[Brenda]

How to help you.

[Cassandra]

All I wanted to do was make her feel better, but she would cry, like, all day. Like, she wouldn't do nothing. I just felt horrible because I'm like, I don't know what I could do to make you feel better.

[Alanized]

Do you feel like after dropping out, you said that you dropped out from college, right? Like you told your parents. Do you feel like after that, was it easier for you to find yourself and trying to figure out what you wanted to do?

[Cassandra]

You.

[Brenda]

No. I still was in the same mentality for months. I just, I was still home and I would apply to jobs, but I was like, I'm just applying just to apply. Like, I don't even want to do it. I was in that mentality. I was like, I. But I really. At the time, I remember we had 30, 000 followers on tick tock. And then that's when I was like, oh, my God, Like, I'm a dumbass. Like, why don't I do Tick Tock? Like, we're twins, we should do Tick Tock. And my family always tells me we're funny, but I was. I did think we had potential, but I thought we were funny just to our family. I never thought it was just. Just like to everyone around the world, you know, well, whoever follows those Crayolas. But at the time, I didn't think anything of it. I was like, I don't think we're going to do it. I don't think.

[Alanized]

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[Cassandra]

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[Alanized]

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[Cassandra]

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[Alanized]

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[Cassandra]

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[Alanized]

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[Brenda]

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[Alanized]

At participating McDonald's for a limited time. A Minecraft movie only in theaters.

[Brenda]

But the reason we had 30,000 followers because one viral video we were talking about the same time and it just went viral.

[Cassandra]

Twins. That audio, I don't know.

[Brenda]

No, it wasn't that one. It was a. Tell us you're a twin. What the. Tell us you're a twin. You remember we were in a black sweater.

[Cassandra]

No, I don't remember.

[Brenda]

So I remember that I was wanting to do social media, but I didn't, I didn't have the courage to do it by myself. And I was like, no. I tried to apply to a bunch of jobs, trying to find something that I would like to do, but I always knew in the back of my house that I want to do something. Like I want to make people laugh. That's what I always want to do. That I, I feel like I can make, make a difference. I don't know how, but I wanted, I want to help people. That's. That was always my mentality. I want to help. I want to help because I'm, I'm a, I'm very like a giver. I just want everyone to be happy, feel welcome. Yeah. Because that's just my mentality. I, I love it. I don't like seeing people sad because I feel for them. I don't, it's not like, oh, I feel bad. I, I feel what they feel.

[Alanized]

You know, I want to go back a little bit, you know, to the pressures of being twins and just, you know, as a platica. Porque cento como quesacion superinteresante porque I grew up right. And in. Had maybe like two twins, two set of twins throughout my whole high school experience and maybe like middle school. And it is very true. You know, it is very common for people to see them as the twins. Right. Like, not really for the individuality. You know, it's very easy to be like, las jimelas. Las jimelas. Because you really only like see everything from the outside view. Like, oh, they, it looks like, they like doing everything together. They're always together. Like. Like it's one person, but in reality, it isn't. What do you feel like are misconceptions or things that you feel like as twins, only twins would know.

[Brenda]

People have a habit of just. This goes for all twins. I just feel like they have a habit of always just comparing them. And you don't really get to know individually, each one of us, which is kind of a bummer. Like, people come up to us. Like, the twins, they never say, oh, I know Brenda on a deeper level than Cassandra. And they always say, they. I don't like that they compare us, us. And to any twins I know, they compare a lot of twins, which is, you can't compare because at the end, we're sisters, we're opposites. You just have to know us at a deeper level. Just because we're twins doesn't mean we have to do everything the same.

[Cassandra]

I think it's more of, like, they compare us because they're, like, opposite, even if they don't have the same face. Like fraternal twins. It's like, oh, well, you guys are twin. You guys should be doing everything together. Like, no, no, you don't have to. Like, my cousins, actually, they're twins. They're fraternal.

[Brenda]

They're really opposite of each other.

[Cassandra]

That's something. Like, you see, like, it's possible one can do one thing and then we could do another thing. But, like, since we're always together, they probably, like, oh, well, they're gonna do everything together. But no, that's not the case.

[Brenda]

So even to the gym, like, they compare our bodies to them. Like, she's her own person. I'm my own person. I don't like when people body shame. Like, that's one of our biggest things that we value a lot. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. Because you never know what they're going through. Especially because the twins, like, I hate, hate that they compare twins to the other. Like, they're two different people. You can't compare twins. I'm my own person. She's one person. Just because we do everything together doesn't mean she can't do her own thing. I can't do my own thing.

[Alanized]

And I do feel like that's super valid because I can only imagine, you know, how that must feel, because growing up, I hated getting compared to my siblings, and we're not even twins. Like, I hated being like, I'm not like my brother. Like, I'm not like, my sister. Like, I'm gonna do things differently. So I can only imagine when it's like twins, you're going through that, maybe she has no idea, vice versa. And it's like, no. Like, you need to get to know Brenda and Cassandra individually and then as twins, because it makes a big difference, you know? Was that something you guys struggled with, where you guys almost didn't care to open up too much to people because you felt like people didn't even care enough to acknowledge you guys individually?

[Brenda]

They couldn't even tell apart, so it was kind of hard. Like, they couldn't really.

[Cassandra]

No. But I think we really didn't pay much attention because I'm like, no one really, like, listens. But, like, recently we've been talking about it, and we were saying, like, we connected it to dating. This generation is not the greatest. But I told Bern. I was like, it kind of sucks. I was like, it sucks. I was like, I'm grateful we're twins because I have my best friend with me, but it sucks because I'm like, we're known as the twins. I'm like, I. What about. What about get to know Cassandra? Get to know Vernon? Like, like, yes, we're twins, but that doesn't, like, say who I am. I'm not just a twin. Like, there's more to Cassandra. There's more to Brenda. So that's why it's a little frustrating, because I'm like, no. Like, you don't know me. You know who I am. Like, like an idea what it is. But there's more to me than what you see.

[Alanized]

What do you guys think are the things that make each of you guys individuals? Like, what are things that you feel like? Well, this is what sets me apart from my sister. Vice versa, like, growing up or just even today. What are things? You guys are completely different when it comes to one another.

[Cassandra]

I think Bren is more energetic and more social. I'm more, like, reserved. I'm more willing to try things.

[Brenda]

But, like.

[Cassandra]

Like, on the low, she's more, like, hesitant.

[Brenda]

She questions it, but does it.

[Cassandra]

But very energetic. I feel like I'm more like, no. No. I'm very nice with people too. She's very good at sensing vibes, too. She's like, no. And I'm like, no, I'm gonna give him a chance.

[Brenda]

She's like, no.

[Alanized]

She's like, I already clocked them.

[Brenda]

She's good at, like.

[Cassandra]

She's like, that person's better.

[Brenda]

It's because I'm very protective of Her, Like, I feel like she. She's nice to everyone, but I feel like she gives people the benefit of the doubt. And I'm more like, I give. No, I don't trust, like, one and done. I was like, don't be talking to. Like, I'm very protective of her. Like, I always have been, and she's very protective of me. But what sets us apart, too, is I have really bad anxiety, and I. She's like my rock. She's my best friend, so she's. I constantly need reassurance, and Cassie's very good at giving it.

[Cassandra]

She's like, am I okay?

[Brenda]

I'm like, yes, I do. Every. Everywhere. I'm like, are you sure? Like, I. To the point, because I. I go to the gym, so I'm very big on my, like, what I have to eat. Like, I eat clean. I cannot eat bad because it caused me anxiety. I have to go to the gym because that gives me clarity, peace of mind. Like, that's become my routine. And if I don't go, I crash out because my anxiety tells me, like, if you don't go, you're gonna. Like, that's just how it is. I learned to cope with it and. Well, yeah, you. Yeah.

[Cassandra]

Like, she gets very bad, or she starts, like, crashing, and she has to, like, text her car or trainer. She's like, am I okay? Am I okay? Like, I miss. Like, are you sure I'm not gonna, like, look.

[Alanized]

Go backwards?

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

He's like, you're fine.

[Cassandra]

Like, you're doing good. Like, you're not even horrible. Like, but are you sure?

[Brenda]

Are you sure?

[Cassandra]

Like, no, I should go to the gym. He's like, you're fine.

[Alanized]

I can see that, though. I can see just the way they explained it, you guys. Even before we started, like, filming, Brenda was like, oh, my God, I'm so excited, but I'm so nervous. You were, like, giving excited, but you're like, okay, I'm chilling. Like, it's like, I'm calm. I'm collective. But I do really feel like, you know, that goes down to, like, you guys having such different personalities, which is okay. You know, there's nothing wrong with one or the other. Do you guys feel like growing up or even now, today, do you guys feel like, again, going back to the pressures, but now when it comes to personality, was that something that bugged you guys growing up? Like, oh, I like Brenda because she's more outgoing, and the other one just kind of looks too serious for me. Was that something that you guys kind of like, like struggled with growing up. Like where they would compare you guys or judge you guys based on your personalities. Social butterfly and the other.

[Brenda]

I don't think bothered us, but it would annoy me when they would. It wouldn't. Well, not really bother. It would just annoy me because I'm like, she's my sister. Like, don't be compare me to her. Like, she's fun.

[Alanized]

What the do you mean? She's just not fun with you?

[Brenda]

Don't be talking my sister. That's why I see it as. But yeah, like, I don't know. I. When people do them, like, I think.

[Alanized]

I would get annoyed, like if I was Cassandra. Like, if I. I would be like, girl. Like, this is how I am.

[Brenda]

Like, I'm like, you got to deal with it.

[Alanized]

Like, it's not because I want to be like sh. No, it's just because I prefer being like standoffish. I prefer like, not standoffish, but just prefer just being to myself.

[Brenda]

And that's okay.

[Alanized]

And I feel like I would get annoyed if I'm constantly being like, oh, but you're not like my sister. Cuz of course I'm not my sister.

[Brenda]

You know what I mean?

[Cassandra]

I don't say those words.

[Brenda]

But yeah, not exactly like that.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, I'm like, I am like that. But I think you kind of have.

[Brenda]

To like break the ice.

[Cassandra]

Cuz I'm like, I. I could be like that. It's just not with everybody. Like, I'm not going to be like, oh, let me. She's very social.

[Brenda]

I don't know who I am. If I have really bad anxiety, like I. I'm literally taking medication for it. It's been helping me. Thankfully it's helped me a lot. Like from when I started. I started seeing my therapist in 2021. One. No, 2022.

[Cassandra]

Right.

[Brenda]

Yeah. So I did finally seek help. The first therapist that I got, I did not like her. She just told me there's no, there's nothing wrong with. When I told her that I was always thinking like suicidal stuff. Like, she asked, she asked me like, are your parents proud of you? I was like, yeah, they are part of mistake. I don't see what's the problem. Like, then why I'm crying all the time. Why do I feel like I want to kill myself? Why do I feel all these type of things? Like that's. I don't think that's normal then. No, but she started seeing the therapist first.

[Cassandra]

But because I wanted someone to then like get up perspective of what were.

[Alanized]

You Going through that you wanted to go to therapy for.

[Cassandra]

I'm not gonna get so much in detail about it. There was a time in my life where I had people in my life that were not good at all. Very toxic vibes. And I put everyone first before me. I learned the hard way that you shouldn't do that.

[Brenda]

You should put yourself first.

[Cassandra]

Lesson learned. So I got backstabbed. I got mentally, spiritually, emotionally abused where I had no word. I would question myself for every action. Everything I would say do like I. I would question everything I couldn't myself. And I caught on to it. I kept going at it for a while, but I was like, oh, it's fine, it's fine. I got to a point where I almost lost myself. I even noticed it because I wouldn't smile. We'll go to parties and I would just be like, no matter who was in front of me, I wouldn't smile. Like nothing. I remember I wouldn't sleep either. I would wake up at four in the morning every day. No matter what time I would go to sleep, I could sleep at 3 and I wake up before I wouldn't eat.

[Brenda]

Like I basically felt like I had.

[Cassandra]

An eating disorder because I wouldn't eat. I was just like going through a hard time where I was like, you know what?

[Brenda]

Like she got so skinny.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, I was super skinny.

[Alanized]

You were that depressed?

[Cassandra]

Like I, they sent me go get test cuz they thought I was anorexic. Like I was su. Like I was bony right now. Like, like but like I was super skinny. Like none of my clothes fit. I was like, you can see my bones.

[Brenda]

But I did try to help her in that case. Like I, it was first her, but her that it wasn't as bad. It was just more like, like I would try to tell her like Cassie, Cassie, wake up, wake up, wake up. It's like when you tell someone, you.

[Cassandra]

Know, like I told them, I told my family to. I was like, I, I'm listening to you, but it hasn't like clicked. It's kind of like you're waiting for that moment and I'm like, I'm collecting all your information. Yes. But I was like, it's not, I'm not ready, it's not my time. Like.

[Alanized]

And I do feel like depression and just like, you know, mental health is like one of those things that even you can be in a situation where you know things will get better. Where you know things aren't as big as her mind is making them out to seem. And even if people are telling you, and you can agree with what people are telling you. Like, there's no, like, telling your mind. Like, switch it up instantly. You know what I mean? Because I feel like mental health is, like, I've been there, done that. Like, where it's like, I know the things that make me sad or things that like. Or things that all go back to me where it's like, well, you got to change your ways. But that kind of doesn't stop the fact that it's like, well, I'm still sad. Like, I. I need to navigate that, you know? How do you feel? Like you got out of that funk.

[Cassandra]

Because I wanted to put them first. I realized I'm like, I had to choose myself in this life, you have to put yourself first before anybody, anybody. And I learned that the hard way. I was so close to losing my spark. And I remember I was like, cassandra, like, you don't smell anymore. Like, you're used to be so joyful. Like, what's wrong with you? You see the signs of. In my head, I thought I could fix everybody around me that was causing me harm, But I was like, they don't care about you. Like, why are you still here? One day, I. I just. I was like, you know what? Even though I do not want to do this, I just chose my stuff and I walked away. It was so hard to walk away from these people. I literally cried. I. I took my. I think it took me, like, three months to finally, like, snap out of it. And I was like, you know what? This is not who I am.

[Brenda]

I said this.

[Cassandra]

I got my. Myself together. I went back to work. I went to go get another license. So right now, I have a phlebotomy license and a CNA license.

[Alanized]

Yes, This.

[Cassandra]

I started going to the gym, and I started gaining the weight back that I lost. And I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna let those people ruin me. Like, I got my together.

[Brenda]

And you started seeing the therapist.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, I did start seeing the therapist. She kind of was like, damn, girl, I preach. Like, you got it. And I was like, yeah, I got this. And a lot of people ask me, like, would you go back and relive that? I'm like, I would say yes, because it makes for the person I am right now.

[Alanized]

Exactly. Yeah. I feel like that is very important, you know, that, like, not everyone is gonna care about you the same way you care about them. And sometimes people will leave you there to rot. Like, even they can know that you're going through it emotionally, physically, over Something that they did for you, and they're not gonna stop their day, their life to come, check up on you or even try to. Like, I feel like lately, though, maybe, like the past three years, I think I'm like. Like. Or maybe two or one. I think I've been getting the mind space of, like, you got to worry about yourself.

[Brenda]

Yes.

[Alanized]

You know, because I was. Like, I was telling you earlier, I feel like I've always been the person that I'm always trying to solve everyone's problems, whether they're emotionally, financially, or just physically. I'm always like, oh, what can I do to help you? But then.

[Cassandra]

Exactly.

[Alanized]

You know what I mean? That doesn't mean I'm not taking care of people that I want to take care of today, but it's like, no. First bengoyo, first my tango. Que cuidara me. Like, before, I used to, like, like, like, always take everyone's problems, right? Like, I always used to be like, oh, my God, you would tell me something, and I would go home and think about it and make your problem my problem so that I'd be getting anxiety for you, and then I'd be getting freaking anxious, sad for the people that would tell me their stuff. Like, and I'm talking about, like, my. My family and, like, my friends, like, more on, like, the deeper level. But then I'm like, you know what? Like, you can't be there for anyone if you're not there for yourself. So I feel like it is, you know, like, a learning thing. This episode of Nocho de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking dot com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking dot com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. I love using booking.com for all my hotel needs. For those of you guys that don't know and don't follow the behind the scenes of everything, yo siempre le sedicho que normal mente. When I have an out of state and Vitado padal podcast, I usually take care of flights and Hotel. And booking.com makes it so easy for me to book the perfect hotel. Uno de la migasque super cirquitas del estudio paraque puerto Cost efficient. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right. For you find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah, I want to, you know, retra sarnos. Un poquito quiero platicaro. Un poquito, you know, oviamente. Talking, going back to being twins. Do you guys believe in, like, telethapy? Is that what it's called?

[Brenda]

Twin telepathy?

[Alanized]

Yeah, like on the unasave.

[Brenda]

I don't know right now.

[Alanized]

I don't know. Like, do you guys.

[Cassandra]

Okay, I think a little bit.

[Brenda]

So let's test it right now.

[Alanized]

Okay, so what, like, a number that I can think. Okay, I'm choose a number one through 10. I'm gonna have it literally behind my. My hand so I can whip it out one through ten. In the count of three. What number do you guys think I'm doing? One, two, two, three, five. Okay, it's not five, though. Okay. One, two, three.

[Cassandra]

Two.

[Brenda]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Wait.

[Alanized]

Okay. One, two, three, one. Oh, well, you said four.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

Or it was four, though. I guess we have one. Right? But do you guys feel like it would happen? Like, aside from, you know, the guessing, was there ever moments where, like, one was going through something that you're like, oh, I feel my sister going through something.

[Brenda]

So, like, that's why I say, like, I'm very protective of Cassie. Like, I. When she sat sad, I can't feel obviously what she's feeling, but I can feel. I don't explain to you, like, a.

[Cassandra]

Stronger bond where, like, my mom has.

[Brenda]

Told us that, yes, if she's sad, we're gonna be all sad with her. But since I was in the womb with her, I have a strong connection to her. So if someone pisses her off, I'm gonna get mad for her. Like, don't mess with my sister. Same thing. She's sad, happy. I'm gonna feel it more than anyone else because I was in the womb her. I grew up with her. She's my best friend. Like, she said it because we were.

[Cassandra]

In the wound together. I feel like we're more, like, close and bonded. Whatever she's going through, like, I feel is stronger.

[Brenda]

Like, if she's sad, I'll. I'll feel. Feel sad for her.

[Cassandra]

And my parents probably be like, oh, yeah, I'm sad for her. But I'm like, no.

[Brenda]

Like, she's sad. Like. Like, I feel bad.

[Cassandra]

And they're like, no, it's fine. Like, yeah, I know she's.

[Brenda]

I'm like, no, no.

[Alanized]

Like, I feel sad. That's crazy that that's a thing.

[Brenda]

But I think twins, but like I do. Like I. Whenever she's happy, like, like hella happy. I can feel it.

[Cassandra]

We start dancing and if she said I'm like let's go get something to you or like let's drive or like.

[Brenda]

We don't really hug, but like I feel like social media has gotten us closer. Like we always been close, but I feel like we're like this. I don't, I don't mind hugging her now. Like I'm, I'm. I'll tell her I love her. And before it was very awkward, like hugging her. Like, like if something does good. I'm like, I'm like, good job, sister.

[Alanized]

And before it wasn't like that.

[Brenda]

No. I feel like we're very like we fight. Yes. But to everyone on, on, on Tik Tok and social media, they all think that we just fight. Yes, we do fight. But it's normal. We're sisters. But we're super close. Like she's our best friend.

[Alanized]

What is the dumbest thing off the top of your head? What's the dumbest thing you guys fight about? You're like choosing outfits.

[Brenda]

Yeah, probably literally like she's we.

[Cassandra]

If I time is about.

[Brenda]

Yeah. I'm like, it's mine. Like no, it's mine. And then. But now we get the same team packing. But no we don't. Yeah we do. I choose them.

[Alanized]

You're like, I buy them.

[Brenda]

No, it's cuz I fight with her.

[Cassandra]

Cuz she always wants to wear my gym clothes.

[Brenda]

Like oh yeah. Because it's cuz I don't like them. But I do. Like I, I like my shorts. But sometimes I want her to wear specifically I don't want to wear. I'm like Kazi's leg day. We have to wear shorts.

[Cassandra]

Like I'm literally like, no. Yeah, come on.

[Brenda]

I convince her. I know, convince her. Cuz I keep bothering her on my plate all day. Come on, please. I get what I. Because I'm like, he's like, like. But I do it because I find it amusing. And I. We have a thing with my mom and everyone that around me that I'm like, yeah.

[Cassandra]

She started saying that she like I know you're canceled.

[Brenda]

And every time my dad, he's like. And then I'm like, but that's what we bought. Like I feel like that's our thing, you know?

[Alanized]

You know that you guys growing up had a learning disability. Quenteno son poquito mas de qu? When did you guys or your parents first see symptoms of like oh my kids are learning slower than like the kids at their age. Learning disability growing up.

[Brenda]

Well she thought we were deaf because at two years old now llamas we would just like look at you. We wouldn't do anything. We just point. So she thought we were dead. Oh yeah. Mudas. No death.

[Alanized]

Yeah, the same thing. Deaf.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

Or is deaf like the ear?

[Brenda]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alanized]

Right.

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

The muda is like no.

[Brenda]

But she thought. I don't know. I think we're both.

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

I think it was because we wouldn't do anything. We're just pointing to everything. Like she was talking. We're just like one or whatever. Like yeah.

[Cassandra]

Bathroom would be like.

[Brenda]

So we wouldn't talk, we wouldn't do anything. So I don't know. And comes to find out we had a learning disability. We had two things. We had a language barrier and we had slow learning disability. So during that time they made us go to school earlier on cuz we needed extra attention.

[Cassandra]

I also had a speech cuz I couldn't pronounce.

[Alanized]

Like a speech impediment.

[Cassandra]

Yeah. I couldn't print. I would be like snake instead of snake.

[Brenda]

When we were in elementary school and then obviously middle school all the way to high school we had more obviously more resources for us cuz we couldn't understand stuff. So I remember in elementary school I remember one time like they were to teach me division and I would break down in frustration because no matter how many times I would be like, like I would just say random multiplication. I couldn't do it either. I'll cry cuz I'm like I want to. Why can't I learn like everyone else they would take us out of the class and I'll go to another like classroom. But it was smaller specifically for kids that needed help. Yeah. And I would always feel like discluded cuz I'm like well I don't get to all the other kids. So in a way they. I feel like people would treat us a little bit just different because we would get the extra help and they would consider us teachers pets. But it wasn't because we wanted to. We just needed it. So we just like they would tell us stuff but I. Because it just wouldn't click to us.

[Alanized]

Would kids at that time like make fun of you guys? Like ah. If you guys had problems like saying certain things, would they make fun of you guys?

[Cassandra]

I feel like yeah they would. Like we were kids so we didn't think nothing much of it. But like now that I think back like yeah they would make fun of us. Damn.

[Brenda]

They would be like, damn, you guys have to. You guys go to that special class. So I would.

[Cassandra]

Sometimes we'll come back with candy too. Like, I want to be pulled up too.

[Brenda]

Why are you guys going? I'm like, you guys get spot. Like, they would treat. Like they would make us feel like we were kind of stupid. So we envisioned that in our head because we're like, oh, that's true. Why are we going to different class? We're special kids. That's what they would consider us, special kids. So we're. Oh, maybe we're different. So it will kind of get in our head. But now I embrace it. Like, it's okay to be different. It's okay to learn things differently. Not everyone has to learn the same way. Some people are visual learners. Some of them need to listen. Yeah, listen. Some of them auto. It doesn't like, you know, writing. It doesn't matter what it is. Because at first when I was younger, I used to be like, damn, I'm stupid. Like, why do I need all this attention for? Same thing for her. Sumiri. So I always felt like I was stupid. I was like, damn, I'm stupid. I don't understand any of this. And then language barrier, too. I couldn't speak Spanish or English. And I feel like those days too, I stutter in between both languages. And I feel like people still make fun of it, but I don't really get offended. I mean, it's okay to.

[Cassandra]

No, let's be realistic. I haven't met a person that speaks either either good Spanish or good English.

[Alanized]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

Because when I speak with people that are very fluent in Spanish, I'm like, how do you say that? They're like, oh, I don't know.

[Alanized]

I'm like, I think it is very true, though, because I feel I used to think I was not a no sabo kid. But I feel like now as I've gotten older, whenever I just speak to someone that just is a fluent English speaker, I feel like I'm like, oh, my God. Or vice versa, with someone that just speaks English, I'm like, oh, my God. My English. English is not up to, like, part with you. You know what I mean? Did you guys have anything that helped you guys out? Like, when it came down to, like, your guys's learning that you guys had isp. What was that program? How did that help you guys? And for those at home that might not know.

[Cassandra]

It'S basically a specialized program that is the school assigned it to you where they do like a layout for you where it helps you, like, learn. They put, well, like in the nutri school we went to, they pulled us out and we were getting taught the same thing as everyone else but a different way because we would understand. I don't know if you guys remember, like, when we did division, there was a way you can do it the long way or the short way, where it was like, what is three divided by five? And that's how everyone learned it. We didn't understand it, so they would do like 5, 10 years divided by 10. Then like it was a long way, but it will get to the same end. So her. That's how we understood. Yeah. Later on when we kind of got more knowledge what we were doing, we learned how everyone else did it. We learned the same thing as everyone else, but a different way, a slower pace because we wouldn't understand. But it's a good program. Even my brother was in it too.

[Brenda]

I also have a speech which is.

[Cassandra]

Another program that she didn't have because I couldn't pronounce my S's. And they help you. I think I graduated from it when I was in ninth grade. My best advice, don't be scared. Scared or afraid or ashamed to have those resources because at the end of the day, they're only going to help you.

[Alanized]

Were you guys ever, like, embarrassed or ashamed of, like, oh my God, you know, because I feel like, you know, maybe internally you guys felt like, oh my God, like, I don't want the kids to think we're dumb or I don't want the kids to think it's almost buras without them knowing what really was going on. Like, that you guys had a learning disability. Because I feel like as kids and sometimes, you know, they can say things out of pocket where it's like, girl, like, you don't know why it's taking taking me longer to learn these things. It's not because I don't want to do it. It's because I just genuinely feel like I can't. Did you guys ever at any moment felt embarrassed or, like, ashamed of it?

[Brenda]

I did feel embarrassed because, like, I'm like, I feel stupid. I was like, damn. Like, why can't I learn like everyone else? All through elementary, middle and high school? Because I had all the way to my college. Oh, even college, actually. But I embraced it, like growing up. I don't care, like, if it's a resource, I'm going to use it now. Like, I'm not ashamed of it. Oh yeah, elementary school.

[Cassandra]

No, but Like I think we were ashamed of it when we were younger, but as we got older understood exactly what it was. We used it as a great tool because it was like we're kind of like, oh well we have it. Because they would give us extra time on the test if we needed to like do check ins with the teacher. We were able to do that and we didn't feel comfortable taking the test for everyone else.

[Brenda]

They pull us out of the class.

[Cassandra]

But we didn't understand and we were younger. When we got older I was like, wait, this is actually kind of nice. Nice. It's a good tool. They'll check on us often. If we didn't understand something, they'll get us a tutor.

[Brenda]

Like it was a good tool to have.

[Cassandra]

But when I was smaller I didn't understand them. Like because kids would be like, oh.

[Brenda]

Well you're getting out of class or taking you because you can't learn this. And so I thought I was like, oh, we're stupid, we're stupid, we're stupid. Then I took obviously in middle school too. They would tell us like, oh, you guys are the teacher's pet. But because they would take us out of class and yeah, but I didn't understand until high school, I think my 10, 10th grade, I think, I think, yeah, that's when I finally started understanding. I was like, well, this is not a bad thing.

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

Is there anything that you guys wish people understood more when it comes to isp? You know, parents, kids that struggle with learning disabilities. Is there something that you wish they knew when it comes to that?

[Cassandra]

I think I would tell them that there is. People that have a difficult time learning stuff, you shouldn't just assume they're stupid or like it's just a normal thing that happens. Just like when people learn better when they're writing it, listening or hearing it. It's the same concept. Except for us, we understand everything, maybe write it, whatever. But for us it takes us a little longer to understand it. So don't be over going around telling people like oh they're stupid, like maybe they have a learning disability. You don't know that. So always be kind to everybody. And it's not a bad tool to have. It's not a bad thing to have. Everyone learns their own way.

[Alanized]

What was your guys's relationship like growing up? Do you guys feel like both of you guys were closer to your mom or to your dad or was one of you girls girls closer to your mom? What was that like growing up? How was your guys relationship?

[Cassandra]

We're very close to our parents. Like we have a good bond with them. They're very supportive. I love them both. Like it's not like I live one or more the other. I think we're more closer to my dad because we were playing, I think soccer for 18 years. Like my sister's always pointed out to us, like, oh, you guys have a better relationship. My dad. But then my mom explained to him like the reason why it seems that way is because they play soccer. And he likes soccer.

[Brenda]

No, he doesn't. Like, he loves everything about soccer. Yeah, that's what we grew to love soccer. And that's how we like at least. I love both my parents. We always said we always felt supported and loved by them because to the point like, like big ass party. So I always feel love. Like my parents always supported us and everything we wanted to do. If I wanted it, they made sure to make it happen.

[Alanized]

And how did you guys get into soccer, football? When did you guys be like, oh my God, I want to do the same thing my dad's doing?

[Cassandra]

Yeah. I started off by my dad playing. But the reason we got into it. I don't know if you heard the movie Gol. There is a movie called Gold and the main character was named Santiago. I asked my dad, I was like, well, how do we start? Anyways? He's like, you guys always be like Santiago, Santiago. And he was like, you guys are not serious. I'm like, no, yeah, we want to be. And then he looked, he found the team for us.

[Brenda]

He didn't buy. We practiced the first.

[Cassandra]

No, I don't think so. I think we just went to go ask. Like he found the team and he was. He thought we're not being serious. So he didn't buy anything for us. We just went in shoes.

[Brenda]

I do this. He just went.

[Cassandra]

We were in his shoes because he didn't think we were serious. And then we tried it out and then. Yeah, we just kept going.

[Brenda]

We kept showing up.

[Cassandra]

We had no idea we were doing.

[Brenda]

The bum would go out and you.

[Cassandra]

Would just see us running behind.

[Brenda]

It's cuz that day it was. I remember it was a Saturday that he took us to play for that team was like, like, like girly, girly, like green bright ass chores. Like regular like unicorns.

[Alanized]

Like it was not a soccer album.

[Brenda]

No, like not like yeah, we had like running shoes. Like regular running shoes. My dad took us to a few and he still didn't think we almost have. So I said. And we were like, we didn't know what we were doing, we're just standing there like, hi. And then he's like, okay. So my dad, because of that movie, he got the idea. He. He went to the recycle thing, and he got the Cardboard. Yeah, cardboard. He put it as shin cards. And they let us put, like, that. That we were running. Like, I was literally running in Calabas. My dad was, like, right here. And we would run, and I was s. Like, hola. He's like, and then I run back and be like, but I didn't know soccer.

[Alanized]

But you just wanted to spend time with your dad, and it's a momento.

[Brenda]

Yeah. Well, I think of my dad started playing soccer because of my grandpa, but I think that's why he got into soccer. And then that's when my dad started playing, and that's what we found to.

[Cassandra]

Playing soccer, and my brother does, too.

[Brenda]

And we haven't stopped playing since.

[Alanized]

Did you guys ever do it, like, professionally where you guys were like, you know what? We're gonna take this serious, or would you guys just go kind of, like, to a kancha over the weekends and play with, like, your friends and family?

[Cassandra]

We did want to do it at one point, but then I feel like we kind of got burned out because as we grew up, like, the teams we have, the girls started growing up, and they're, like, kind of doing their own thing. So it wasn't like, all. They were taking it serious or, like, whatever ever.

[Alanized]

Have you guys ever watched the movie Just For Kicks?

[Brenda]

No.

[Alanized]

No comment down below if you guys have ever watched Just for Kicks. Esconos, Jimelos. I think you guys would actually love it because Dylan and Cole Sprouse are the twins in the movie. The whole plot is this really famous, like, soccer player, right? Like, he gets in really bad business, and he goes into hiding. He becomes a little mechanic on a random ass. Little street. Meet Estano's twins. They meet him, and he becomes, like, their trainer.

[Brenda]

I'm not gonna spoil.

[Alanized]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Brenda]

I haven't seen it, but I think. I think I know where you're talking about.

[Alanized]

I love that movie. Growing up, and I was not crazy about soccer, you guys. I didn't grow up with sports like that. I grew up watching more, like, wrestling. So, like, I wasn't really, like, a soccer player. My sister played soccer. My brothers, nothing. I. I remember that. I'm like, I don't remember sports. I'm like, they were just smoking weed. That was a sport they like to do. I didn't grow up with sports, but I Feel like you guys would really, really enjoy that movie. Just four kicks with Dylan and Cole Sprouse. It's a really good movie. You know, Principion. Then you guys were like, you know what? Let's do it as twins. How did it go from like, okay, like, let's do it from twins to like, all right, now we're gonna actually poneros and be consistent. How was that journey? Like, what was your guys's first viral moment that made you guys realize, like, look, girl, we have potential. Like Sinos.

[Brenda]

30,000 followers. That's when I was still, like, kind of sad and stuff. Then I sat down with Cassie and I was like, I think we can do social media. You think so? I was like, I think so. I believe in us. We're twins. I think we're funny. We have a personality. Like, what do we have to lose? So we tried in 2021, it wasn't doing that good for us because we would try doing one minute videos, but they were very like, like, let me give an example, because I'm not gonna be like, what are you doing? Nothing. Oh, like those little long pauses in between. So we don't know how to edit.

[Alanized]

The skits weren't skidding.

[Brenda]

Yeah, we had the idea of it like the skits, but they were too long on pauses. So it wasn't as like, you know how skits, you have to be like entertainment.

[Alanized]

Fast. Fast. Yeah.

[Brenda]

So we didn't know that because we obviously had no idea how to do it. Oh, we're like, why aren't they doing good? So we would get excited when it would hit like a thousand views. We're like, oh, my God, Cassie. Like, you're growing. And then I don't know why, but this one, we were growing, but slowly. And then one time this one guy gave us a suggestion. Instead of making one minute videos, try doing 30. Because we both attach. His band is like a five year old. So I was like, okay. That's when we would try. Instead of us sitting next to each other and do skits of one sitting. Because people don't, don't like just one sitting nowadays. I don't know why, but one day I just came into the room, Cassie sat down, and we just kept doing that. And then they started doing good. I remember the first one that worked for us was with my niece of like, when your sister leaves your niece with you, like you stuck babysitter or something like that. And Cassie was on babysitting and they started attacking me.

[Alanized]

Why?

[Brenda]

Thinking. Because they thought daughter yeah, they thought I was going to go leave to do, you know. No, I don't know what I said. Relax. That's what they kept like chewing to go get make another baby.

[Alanized]

I was like it's not even my baby.

[Brenda]

Hello. And I comment. I put she's my niece. And then I started laughing. I was like, why are they. I was like, don't I look like her aunt? Like I. I think I'm too young to be a mom, you know. So then that's when I started getting excited. I was like Cassie. But that's when. That's not when we started getting followers. And then we kept doing something around siblings like that we're like, why don't we just do sibling skits? Because we would do like dancing stuff with kids, like friends, anything. Like just to get like views so bad at it. So we didn't know what we're doing. So then that's what we picked up. Like why don't we do the initial sibling stuff? So we started doing siblings kids and they started doing good. I remember we were still working I think at the time as being cna. But I was always thinking like we have to post 3 times a day back to back when it's gonna go viral.

[Alanized]

As you were still working.

[Brenda]

Yeah. Cuz I, I believed in it so much. Like I want this to be like I really want people to laugh with their videos. Like I really, really want people to resonate to us. She said okay, let's do. I'm like, I had the idea we should do this. This is like I would be so excited about. I get excited to filming. To this day. I enjoy filming. I love making people laugh. Then we had 100000 followers and we were so excited. I remember going to our way to our cousin's Quintanera that. Oh yeah. And I was like, Cassandra, we have 100,000 people. Like I wasn't like mind bro. I was like, there's no way like 100,000 people follow us. That was in 2023 when it started going like we started going viral. Like our video starting hitting over 100,000 views.

[Alanized]

I saw you guys have a video over like 20 million views.

[Brenda]

Oh, that's. That's what we're known for. That's what we call them Crayolas. I love you Crayolas.

[Alanized]

I was literally about to ask.

[Brenda]

Because okay, this is an actual real story. Some of them my cras do know this and some of them don't. One day we were walking around a like a school and my Cousin went to walk with us. And then she. My other cousin told my. And she ended up being my cousin. Am I making sense?

[Alanized]

Say it again one more time.

[Brenda]

And her wife ends up being my cousin.

[Cassandra]

His wife.

[Brenda]

Okay, you say because like cousin Segundos. Yeah.

[Cassandra]

So our cousin got married and that the wife. Wife was walking with us.

[Brenda]

Yeah. So she was walking with us. And then that had a kid. And the kid was. They. She brought the kid. And then I was like, oh, that's a cool Crayola. And she starts laughing. My cousin was there to my.

[Cassandra]

No.

[Brenda]

Okay. So right. We were walking my cousin, right? So then she's like, just bring the kick so you can go to sleep. And he's. Okay. He was. I'm saying it, right. I know. I'm saying it right. I'm saying, right? Yeah, off the truck. I'm. I'm saying you're good.

[Cassandra]

Relax.

[Brenda]

I'm saying you're good. I'm making. I'm saying you're good, right? I thought Carola was Crayola. So I was like, oh my God, that's a cool Crayola. Cuz it was a car seat and a stroller. And I was like, oh, like they make that now. So I was like, that's a cool Carola. And they start cracking up, like heavily. And I was like, I'm so confused. I'm looking at Cass like, what's so funny?

[Alanized]

Like, what did they say?

[Brenda]

Twin, Dino, Travis. And I'm like, what? That's a Cucarayola. And they start cracking up again. I'm like, what's so funny? I'm confused. And they're like, that's not a crayon twin. And I was like, what? And they're like, you should make a video on that. And I was like, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do it. Cuz they're gonna make fun of me. That. I mean, on Noble, I'm a noabo and I embrace it. But I'm learning. I'm speaking more Spanish. I'm practicing it on the lies on the videos. And I like it because they come for us. But I. I'm embracing. I actually like it. Like, thanks to them, I speak more Spanish. And I. I like it. I'm like, no say, no say so we did it three times, per K. I kept messing up, saying the word. She kept saying Crayola instead of saying Cariola.

[Cassandra]

Sounds so similar.

[Brenda]

Yeah, they do sound so similar. So then I went to my cousin's house. How's the video? And they start cracking up. And I'm like, it's not funny. I was mad at the video. I was like, it's not funny. It's not funny. Like it's not gonna do good. Then I posted to interest me. It's the title of the video when that seemed as an Osabo kid. And I was like, they're gonna come for me. You already hear they're gonna come for me. They're gonna say I'm an Osabo because it's so contradictory, you know? And I was like, okay. So I posted it and when I saw it was only at 400 views and I was really mad, I dropped my eyes. I didn't go on my phone anymore. I was so mad at the video and I wanted to take it off.

[Alanized]

You're like, I knew it flopped.

[Brenda]

Yeah. Overnight. I swear to God I wasn't not on my phone. Cuz I was so mad at the video. Cuz he was like, I just ignore it. And I was mad. I was so mad. I was like, I don't want to see the tik tok this is doing.

[Cassandra]

So she was like, I'm gonna delete it.

[Brenda]

I was so mad at the video. Like I was so buttered cuz I didn't want to post it. And then we wake up. It was like 4 million views overnight. Yes. And I was like, there's no way. I literally was like, there's how much.

[Cassandra]

You grew from that video.

[Brenda]

We. In that week, I grew 100k. We grew 100k. We were at 600k followers and we grew 700k in less than a week. And I was like, there's no way in hell this video is doing that good. They kept commenting like, oh, they're nobles. We started doing voiceover videos, like vlogs. And instead of saying I wouldn't say, I would say, guys, you guys come with us to this. And like one of the comments said like, why don't you call us? And I, I did a little poll and I was like, would you guys like for us to call you? I didn't want to offend anyone, you know. And I asked, I was like, would you guys like to be called Crayolas? And they're like, yeah, that's cute. Like, that's.

[Alanized]

Yeah.

[Brenda]

And I was like, okay. So then I gave it a try. The first video, I feel kind of a little bit odd. A little bit. But I was liking it. I did like it, but I felt odd. Cuz I was like Crayolas. And then now people's cause Crayolas. And I call them Crayolas and I embrace. I love calling them. Like, I feel very. Like, I bond with them, you know.

[Alanized]

I do feel like that's a cuter name than what I call my people. I'm like, I call my people. My whole thing is pinch pendejas. I'm like, so at least they're nicer. But I was wondering. I had that in my notes, literally. I was like, why do they call them Crayolas? Like, where did that originate from? Like, where did that come from that you still work and you do tik tok fulltime? You run it. How do you guys run your guys's page? Who does what?

[Cassandra]

Well, Brenda does more of the creative side. Like, she comes up with the ideas. It's just like, let's do this video. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. She does the editing, the uploading, like, everything that has to do with, like, creative. And I do more the behind the scenes, like the finance, the travel, the llc, the business. Anything that you guys don't see, I do more the back.

[Brenda]

And she stresses about, I can't do money. Like, I can't do money. Like, no, no, no, no. Like, video props or stuff like that.

[Cassandra]

I'm like, more of like, okay, we're going to spend this much. Like, I'm more manageable, like, how we spend it. And she's like, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.

[Alanized]

And I'm like, you're the accountant.

[Brenda]

And I'm like, I'm the creator. I'm like, I have this idea.

[Cassandra]

We're going to bring it to life.

[Brenda]

She still works. When I stopped working, like, back in 2021, she went back, but I told her, like, I believe in this. So strong. Like, I. Like, I felt to my God, like, I believe in us. Like, I really believe in us, Cassie. Like, we have so much potential and we have the support system of our family. And I was like, yeah, like, they believe in us. I believe in us. Like, we have nothing to lose here. My parents are like, well, if you believe in it, like, go for it, you know?

[Cassandra]

But they were hesitant a little bit at first.

[Brenda]

Well, it's because they. They were kind of scared.

[Alanized]

Financial standpoint, like, girl, you really think you're gonna make money posting little videos?

[Brenda]

They were like that. But then they were like, okay, like, if you really believe in it, if you put all your energy in it, like, go for it. Like, you have our support. So we're like, okay, like if our parents are okay with it, we want to do this. Like it. Let's do it. You know. She went back to work though, because I knew if I was gonna go back to work, I wasn't gonna prioritize social media because I believe in it. Like, like fully, fully, fully. And then she went back and then I started doing all this. Like I was in charge of everything. The editing, like the, like I would make a list on my notes of all the ideas I had in my head, what time I was gonna pose. I was so excited to film every single time. I was like, I'm so excited to post this. That's when we started doing Instagram and then we started going viral and then we started splitting up the work because we started getting more hectic. So now we. She's in charge of Snapchat. What are you in charge of?

[Cassandra]

Threads. And what's the other one? It was in Facebook, but I linked this one. Now you're in charge of.

[Brenda]

So I'm in charge of. Yeah, yeah. So I'm in charge of YouTube, my own Snapchat now. And then Tik Tok, Instagram and Facebook. So I'm in charge of all that. But I don't mind it. Like, I love doing it. And so now we split it. She's more behind the scenes. I'm the creator, but I always consulted with her everything. Like, what do you think of this video? Or should I fix it?

[Alanized]

Should we do it like this? Yeah, you just feel like you like to like take over more on the creative side. Why do you think you get anxiety when it comes to like the money stuff?

[Brenda]

I don't know. Like, it just stresses me out cuz I naturally, I'm an overthinker. So like I, I just naturally. Damn. Like, like, what is this happens? That's why I don't talk. Like I anything creative. Like, give it to me. Like I, I love anything with doing like filming no matter where we are. Like, I can literally, for example, right here, I can be like, I'll scan it and I start brainstorming. Like, that's just how my brain works. And Cassie's more like, okay, like we're gonna spend this. But she doesn't tell me because she knows I'll panic.

[Alanized]

Wait, so you'll panic if she tells you, like, hey, we're overspending. Yes.

[Brenda]

Like, I can't, she can't tell me money, like at all. I can talk about it to a certain extent, but when it comes to like start talking about big Number. I'm like, no, no.

[Cassandra]

Even her, her own credit cards. I'm like, give it to me. Like the login and everything. I'm like, I'll be in charge of it. Here, here, here, here.

[Brenda]

Because it stresses me out. I don't know why. Everything just causes me anxiety. But that's why I'm taking medications for it. And thankfully I'm okay now and I'm seeing my therapist.

[Alanized]

I do feel like that's very normal though, because I feel like I get like that too. Like, when we first moved into here, I wasn't really like, checking how much we were spending. I was just kind of like, swipe, swipe, swipe. And then when I had to sit down and be like, bitch, you can be swipe, swipe, swipe. You know what I mean? I'm like, like, it's so easy to swipe. But like, when you really sit down and you see numbers, I get a lot of anxiety. Like with the bills. My boyfriend. Fun fact, you guys, I don't know how to pay bills. Like, house bills, like the Louis that.

[Brenda]

Makes it feel better.

[Alanized]

All that stuff. My boyfriend takes care of it. Cuz it is very overwhelming. Like, you're like, like, I don't want to hear it, I don't want to know about it. Like, do we got enough to pay? Yes. Okay, let's move on.

[Cassandra]

Like, that's what we work about. Well, I don't know why she stresses about money.

[Brenda]

I don't know why it's stressed. Like, I don't have no need to stress about it, but I just, my anxiety just makes me like, anything. Like food, like the gym, you just got overwhelmed for everything. But that's why, like, I tell people ahead of time, like, oh, there's certain things like that. Okay. One of the biggest things, like, I can't talk about people's health because I started thinking I have something. Like, you can tell me you have something. I'm gonna start believing. I'm like, my anxiety. I'm like, no.

[Cassandra]

Like.

[Brenda]

And I'm like, dude, are you sure?

[Alanized]

You're right, I had a symptom like that.

[Brenda]

So I'm like, dude, you sure? Like, I'm like. And I be like, praying. I'm like, dude, look at me. Like, are you sure? Check me. Like, check just like, I guess.

[Cassandra]

She's like, should I make an appointment to get check? I'm like, dude, you don't have it.

[Brenda]

Like you're me.

[Alanized]

As though you are me. Because. Exactly. I was literally telling her. I was like, I feel I, I'm not diagnosed, but I feel like I have, like, adhd because I'm very much like. You know how you say that you talk a lot, but you are also a very anxious person. I feel like maybe we do that to, like, cope with how anxious we are. Because if you guys ever see me out in the wild at or in general, I feel like I, I swear to God, I feel like because I get so much anxiety that I'm just like, whenever I'm with someone to cope with my anxiety, I just won't shut the fuck up. I just think when there's, like, no one talking.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alanized]

Whenever I go out to, like, events or whatever, I always get super anxious, but I feel like I cope with my anxiety with, like, over talking, over explaining, like, dando te mas tacos and la crema para querigas. Wow, okay. But I do sometimes feel like a little crackhead because I'm like, dude, I didn't shut the up for like 10 minutes straight. Like, the combos just feel like you.

[Brenda]

Have to let it out. Huh?

[Alanized]

I just like to like, be talking a lot, you know, you know, about mental health and about how you guys both dealt with that. But, Brandon, that for you was a little bit more extreme. What do you feel like was your breaking point? That took you to, like, a dark place mentally and also no s cuentas that you started going to therapy. What was like, your first therapy session?

[Brenda]

Like, I broke down to her the first session because I, I was like, she's gonna think, like, what, like, what the hell is wrong with this girl? You know? So when I told her, it was because Cassie was telling her, like, see her, she's a really good therapist. It was her therapist first.

[Cassandra]

Yeah, I love her.

[Brenda]

And she made me feel so welcome, though. Like, I, I, I was scared to tell her certain stuff at the beginning, so I was like, she's going to judge me. But no, I still have it to this day. She's such a good therapist. She always reassuring me. She makes it feel like it's okay. My feelings are valid. And she never makes it feel like I'm my, Like, what's wrong with you? You know what I mean?

[Cassandra]

I feel like she directs your question back to you. Like, she gives you her perspective. And then as a friend, yeah, like, she doesn't.

[Brenda]

I don't see her as a therapist. I see her more as a friend, you know, so she never suggested medication. So at the time I was seeing her for a while, but then I, I stopped seeing her because I Couldn't see her. I don't remember why. I just stopped seeing her. So when I, I would be low key, kind of codependent her because she was, I was always seeing her every week. So I was codependent on re her reassuring me. So when I stopped seeing her panic I was like who, who's gonna reassure me? You know I mean I had her but she's obviously my sister so she's gonna be biased a little bit. She doesn't, you know. So that's when I, we switched gyms and that's when we started going to the gym. That's why I started coping. When I didn't see her I would go to the gym. Gym. I fell in love with the gym. That's when we got a personal trainer. David, you're watching this mvp. He's a good trainer. He started training us and at first I was like I don't want to do this. I see. Like why did we sign up today? Like we paid scared to get the training and like learning about the gym because we didn't know anything about it. We were at Planet Fitness effort but no, we had no idea what we're doing. We were on and off. We would do everything. Like we would do chest and back.

[Alanized]

And leg like what all 30 minutes?

[Brenda]

Yeah, I doing and I didn't know what I was doing. And then we moved to the gym we are now. And I was like okay. And so then we had to change our diet and it was a little bit hard. It wasn't too hard cuz I told myself like if I'm going to do this I'm going to fully cuz I'm paying for this. I have to focus more.

[Cassandra]

The fact because we're getting measured like.

[Brenda]

No pilas p we wanted it so bad and he kind of molded into our head like like if you really want it, you really had to focus. And I was like okay. The only hard part for us what was alcohol. We don't drink anymore. Okay, we're going to drink for our birthday. Our birthday's coming up, that's canceling it. I'm going to drink my birthday. Prior to that it was a little hard cuz I would drink. I used to. That's another thing I forgot to mention. I would drink to cope. Like I would drink to black out. I it made it worse. My anxiety was so bad but my instinct was like if I drink and I black out I'm not going to remember. I'm not going to of feel the way I feel right now. So every weekend, even in the week, I would drink, drink, drink, drink, drink. My parents wouldn't tell me anything because.

[Cassandra]

Crying too.

[Brenda]

Yeah, I would cry. My parents wouldn't tell me anything because that's the way I was coping with it. My sister would get mad at me because she would. She knew that was making it worse. But I was like, no, like, leave me alone. The house, me. That's my anxiety. How's my anxiety? But I would drink a lot. I would mix, like, everything I can get my hands on. I would. I would grab it.

[Alanized]

Do you feel like it would only work for that moment and then, like, you would wake up, be hungover, and then have to deal with your depression again?

[Brenda]

Yeah, it would make it worse. But in my time, like, it make it in the moment, it would make me forget. But then the next day it would make it even worse. That's when I finally started the gym and I started, like, really focusing. I started focusing my diet. The drinking was hard to let go of because I thought it was going to help me. But then when I started sort of slowly letting it go, it made it easier because I was doing it with her and she would discipline me and told our trainer. And to this day, we've been going, well. Well, she can't right now because of her life right now, unfortunately, but we've been going for almost 10 months.

[Alanized]

How was the transition of. From, you know, going from one coping mechanism to another? You used to cope with drinking, then you started coping with the gym. How do you feel now that you're coping kind of almost with the more healthier option. Do you feel the difference?

[Brenda]

I feel like, drastically, yes. Like I'm in a better mood. I feel happier. Like, I embrace it now. Like, I. Mental health, I embrace. I'm like, well, this happened, like doing where I am with her, with my family. And I'm so grateful, especially for the Crayolas, because I feel like they're my second home. I don't just see social media, like, oh, it's a job. Like, I see them as my second family. Like, everything that has to do with me, I'm not afraid to tell them.

[Cassandra]

I see I was open with them.

[Brenda]

Yeah, Like, I'm not afraid to tell them. Like, I embrace the gym. Like, if they. I love talking to anything about the gym and my mental health, I. I don't like hiding it because in a way, they kind of make me the way and am. Social media has. Has helped me with my mental health a lot. I don't see it as a Negative thing. I see it more as a positive thing because we do comedy stuff and like, I feel like I can resonate to them. And the gym has helped because they've seen our journey and they are very, like, supportive with it. Like good twins that you can see your growth. And it makes me feel so good. But it's, but aside from that, it.

[Cassandra]

Makes us feel good when you guys tell us like, oh, I started going to the gym because I started watching your videos.

[Brenda]

Like, such a good feeling.

[Cassandra]

Like, not even the gym. Or when they're like, like, oh, I was having a rough day and I went and took a watch your videos. Like, it makes us feel good. I work at a hospital and I what I do it, the reason I do it is because I'm giving back to my community. I'm making someone feel better.

[Brenda]

I do it physically by caring for.

[Cassandra]

A patient, but I'm also doing it on the Internet where I'm making you laugh, making you feel better. That's why I do it. I enjoy what I do because I want to make you smile, I want to entertain you. I'll make, I want to make you laugh. I want to make you feel better.

[Alanized]

And it also kind of gives you purpose too.

[Brenda]

And that's when I felt my purpose. When I started doing social media, I saw people saying that they love my videos. That's when I started getting my spark.

[Alanized]

Like, they love me.

[Brenda]

People actually, like, I wasn't, I didn't believe it when we hit a mill. I was like, there's no way.

[Cassandra]

And we hit it in a short amount of time.

[Brenda]

Yeah, we did. We blew up pretty fast.

[Cassandra]

I think we hit it in a year.

[Brenda]

That's. It was mind blowing too. I was like, there's no way, like, that many people love our videos. I'm so grateful for that. Like, I, I, I to say I, I embrace it. In all the videos and even the comments, I got something like, I don't think they understand. Like, they have helped me more than they can imagine.

[Alanized]

I do feel like social media, you know, even though there's so many negative things and I feel like I don't go to therapy. Right. But I feel like they're my therapist. Even if you guys give me advice and if, whether I take it or not, I feel like even just grabbing the camera and like talking about my feels and just telling them what's going on in my life after I turn that camera, camera off, I'm like, therapy's over. Yeah. Like, I really do think you guys like my followers and I'm sure you guys feel the same way. Have really, like, pushed us through. Through a lot of, like, crazy moments in our life. You know that you're on medication now, but you were telling us earlier that your therapist wasn't the first one to, like, tell you, like, take medicine. How did that come into the picture? You know, what type of medicine are you taking? And were you scared at the beginning to, like, start medication? Because I'm sure it is very scary.

[Brenda]

Well, at the time, I. My therapist normally. Oh. Take medications right off the bat because she's like, well, that's going to be her last resort. So talking to her for a while. And then I got into the gym, and then I started realizing I was so anxious, like, all the time. Not as bad as it was in 2021 that I was depressed and I didn't do anything. I was too anxious all the time, where I would constantly need a reassurance. Eventually I was like, okay, like, maybe I do need a medication because. Because this is not normal, me getting anxious a lot of time for everything. So I was scared. I. When they. When I got it, I went to go see the doctor about it, and they were like, oh, well, let's try it out. Like, we're gonna give you the lowest dose. I didn't take it for, like, two days. When I got it, I was so scared. I was like, oh, my God. Like, I rely on it. But when I took it, I was like. And they told me everything. Like, he's not gonna give you. You're not gonna get addicted or anything. The side effects. Go sleepy. You're going to be a little bit nauseous and stuff like that. Which is true. I did. I was really sleepy. I was like, oh, I need to go to the gym. Wake up.

[Alanized]

Did it make you, like, emotionless or. No?

[Brenda]

No, it just made me feel less anxious. Like, I was actually like. Like, for anything. I'll get, like, super, like, hypervent of hypervent for everything. Like my intake, if I didn't have. I'm like, no. Like, if I. If I. If I don't. If I don't eat, like, if I don't go to the gym, like, I would really, like, crash out. And now that I'm taking it, I'll get anxious, but not as crash. I don't crash as anymore. I'm more like I'm anxious, but I can control it. They went up on the dose, though, because I felt like I was still a little bit anxious. They went up a bit, and I feel more relaxed. Now not I don't panic as I thought I was gonna panic and I feel more relaxed. But it did make me so sleepy. Like I would hate it because I'm an active person.

[Alanized]

Do you feel like there's like a negative connotation when it comes to like medicine for mental health? Especially with Hispanics and just with people, you know, there's like. Cuz I feel like mental health for some people, they say it's not real, right? And I feel like we're here and I feel like our generation really has, you know, stand up and has been vocal that like mental health does exist. You know, we grew up. I don't know about you guys, but I grew up like. And it's like, girl, like that ain't gonna solve my depression. Like I'm a clean and then still be sad. But I feel like, you know, when it comes to medicine with mental health, people like to see it as a bad thing. Like, you know, I know non pieces, you know, tomando medicamento. Was that something that you were scared about at the beginning? And what do you feel like after taking medicine and seeing how much it's helped you? Do you feel like it does help?

[Brenda]

I do think it does help. At first I was scared. I was like, oh, like you were saying, it does. I was thinking that I'm gonna get addicted, I'm gonna rely on it. I was open minded at first about it, but I started like hearing kind of stories. I didn't do my research because it would cause me anxiety. So I was like, I'm not gonna do any of that because. Because I know the minute I do, I'm not gonna be willing to try it. But I knew I had to do it. Like I can't be always anxious. I talked to my therapist about it. She didn't force me to do or anything. She just told me like, if you're ready to do it, like you don't have to. You can keep going to the gym. You can keep talking to me. She said, you can get off of it too. Like it doesn't, like it's not. You're not gonna. Nothing's gonna happen to you. She's like, if you want to try it, you can try it. And I was like, okay. So I got the courage to take it. And at first I didn't feel anything because it took. It takes. Takes a couple weeks for it to kick in. And I started releasing. I wasn't as anxious anymore. And I was like, oh, it is helping me. I would sometimes forget to take the medicine. So I'm not like, oh, I need to take my medicine.

[Alanized]

How do you feel like your mental health is today?

[Brenda]

I'm really happy. I'm really at peace. Like, I feel like I can breathe.

[Alanized]

You know? Yeah. Para Terminal mental health. What piece of advice, not just you, but both of you guys, can you guys give the viewers watching today when it comes to mental health? You know, if someone at home is struggling with mental health, what is something you wish you would have heard or what is something that you would like to tell them?

[Brenda]

Don't stay quiet about it. If you're struggling, like, it doesn't matter what it is, speak up about it. Like, if you. You can speak to someone professionally, it does help. I know. Know it's a little intimidating talking to someone because you don't know. You don't know they're gonna judge. You know, they're there to help you. Use your resources. Speak to someone. If you don't want to use a professional help, speak to someone you love that cares for you. Because at the end of day, mental health matters. You matter. And I will vouch for anyone that's truly mental health, because I take that very serious.

[Cassandra]

I just wanted to add exactly what Brenna said. I agree 100%. Mental health is real. And I hope everyone is kind to everybody, because in reality, you don't know what a person is going through. I feel like, like, nowadays people just speak to speak. But I want you to be cautious what you're saying to people because you could be the reason a person's not here tomorrow. So always be kind to everybody. Smile. Say good morning like you by smiling or saying the nicest comment ever, like, makes a difference to them because they feel like they matter. Everyone matters. You matter. I hope you know you're loved and you make a difference in someone's life. Stay positive. If you're going through something hard, speak up. And I hope you find the help you need. I just want you to know that you're cared for, in love. And please be kind to everyone around you because you really, really don't know what they're going through.

[Alanized]

And you're never alone. Amiga says so. You're never alone. You know, Abes, no sense in our bad thoughts. And we really do feel like, you know, no one can understand us. No one will understand us. And it really does take a simple act of, like, talking to someone that, you know, cares for you and telling them what you're going through. You know, I want to talk about something, Cassandra. You know, you guys Were sharing with your Crayolas the really bad news. Cancerous or not, Pero cuenta no poquito de como tes cuenta. How did you go to the hospital, get diagnosed? And when you got diagnosed with those tumors?

[Cassandra]

How I found out was I was at the gym. It was a Friday. I remember I was doing legs. I probably did a workout wrong, cuz I felt pain after leaving the gym, like two hours after going to the gym. And I was like, oh, it's normal.

[Brenda]

There'S nothing to it.

[Cassandra]

I was like, maybe I just like pull something on accident. The next day I felt the same pain. I think I had the pain up to like 10 days, but the whole time I was like, my leg hurts, I'm in pain, I need to doctor. Like, no. I kept complaining to my mom, like, needs to have an. I finally went to the doctor on Monday. That day I made it to like 5 hours in urgent care. And I was like, I was getting so impatient. I was like, I want to leave. Like, I don't want to be here. I want to go to the gym. I want to do this. But I stayed because on my left leg I had surgery because I had. My meniscus was torn. So I was like, just to be cautious, I'm gonna make sure there's nothing serious because I felt similar pain because I'm just gonna make sure. So I waited, but very impatiently. After being seen, I was like, yeah, like I'm in pain. Like, this is not normal.

[Brenda]

Normal.

[Cassandra]

She's like, I don't think you torn ligaments or anything, but we're just gonna get you an X ray.

[Brenda]

And I said, okay.

[Cassandra]

So I had to go the next day. I'm gonna get my X rays very early. Normally you don't get your results instantly if it's a good thing. But they called me the next day and I was like, like, why are you calling me like? I was like, oh, I hope it's good news. Are you telling me like, I'm good to go? And I remember I called, I answered the phone and I was like, you have some good news for me? She was like, no, actually I don't have good news. We found out that. That you have what, the term. She said two lesions. And then she's like, we believe they're tumors. One is 7 cm long, and the other one is, I believe she said 4cm long. Honestly, she caught me off guard when she said that. I started crying because I was like, like, what are you talking about? Like, tumors. When you hear the word tumors, you're like, dude, I'm going to die. Like.

[Alanized]

Like, you think cancer?

[Brenda]

Yeah, yeah.

[Cassandra]

Like, I was like, what the. Like, I was like. I was like, sorry, sorry, sorry. Did you.

[Brenda]

Did I hear that right?

[Cassandra]

Did you say can? Like, sorry, not cancer, Tumors? And she said like, yeah, we believe they're tumors. And I was like, kind of like, I was in shock when I heard it. I started crying, but I was like, this is. Like, she doesn't know. Like, it's just a reading. They confirmed that it is tumors. I still don't know if their cancer is. But by the looks of it, they said it's not. I think I'll be more at peace when they confirmed it, like, by the doctors hearing the news, like, over again got me upset. I cried, like, to know that I'm going to be like, I might have.

[Brenda]

The possibility to have surgery.

[Cassandra]

And I already have surgery on my left leg.

[Aura]

It's okay.

[Cassandra]

Kissy. It's okay.

[Alanized]

It's okay.

[Brenda]

It's okay.

[Cassandra]

I don't want to go through the same pain. Sorry. It's because I don't want to go.

[Brenda]

Through the same pain.

[Cassandra]

And now that I'm going to the gym, it kind of sucks.

[Brenda]

Like, I'm grateful it was caught on time.

[Cassandra]

I am grateful and I'm alive, but I just. It just sucks that I can't do anything thing. I can't even walk straight because it hurts. They also said my knee kept out of place, which is why I'm also having pain. I'm hopeful that it's not cancerous, but I just don't want to have surgery.

[Alanized]

You get the results tomorrow, so by the time this video goes up, you guys.

[Brenda]

I'll probably update you guys.

[Alanized]

Yeah, you guys can go check out their Instagrams for the update. Was there anyone around you when you got the news?

[Cassandra]

Yeah, the first time, Brendan was next to me.

[Brenda]

Me and I had put on speaker.

[Cassandra]

And like, we're kind of in shock because I'm like, tumors. Like, what are you talking about?

[Alanized]

What was your reaction?

[Brenda]

I was like, not to be about. Like, this is crazy.

[Cassandra]

The doctor.

[Brenda]

I was like, she's stupid. As. Cause like, Cassie, I. I was in denial. I didn't want to believe it. I was like, no, that's my sister. Like, like, what I heard that was, she's gonna die. Like, that's my sister. You know, literally, like, I was like, that one is my best friend. And then I was like, there's no way. Like, there's no way she has tumors. Like, she's healthy. She's. She's fit. Like, she goes to the gym, and she takes care of her body. Like, I'm confused. Why. Why would they tell her that? Doesn't make any toast day. Doesn't make. I'm in denial. I don't believe that she has it because this is my sister, and I don't want to see her in pain.

[Alanized]

Like, no matter what. Like, you're gonna have to get surgery.

[Brenda]

By the looks of it.

[Alanized]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

Yes. Well, my. My mom was telling me, like, family around. I was telling her that they have, like, similar cases where they had, like, a bump or something, like, groin. Well, in other words, tumors. Some of them said they got medication to get it removed, but I don't know if that would be my case because of how big they are. So I'm, like, in hopes that they say, like, I could get a stero.

[Brenda]

Show or, like, a re.

[Cassandra]

Like, physical therapy for many camp and then medication to get the tumor removed. I'm, like, hoping that's what they're going to tell me, but people are like, I don't think so. I think you're going to have surgery, gym. Like, oh, Like, I'm, like, trying to mentally prepare for that, but I'm like, oh, like, I think I'll be more happy to know that I. She confirmed it's not cancerous, but, like.

[Brenda]

The idea of, like, I have to.

[Cassandra]

Get surgery to remove everything, like, another one. But overall, I'm blessed to be alive and that it was caught on time because they said if it was, I waited more longer, I would have run the risk to fracture my leg. That's.

[Alanized]

I mean, has an Otisia affected your mental health in any way? Like, do you feel like ever since finding out, your mind has been just everywhere?

[Brenda]

Yeah, I feel like I've been because.

[Cassandra]

I'm more independent and, like, I like to do stuff on my own. I like to drive myself. I like to do everything by myself because of what I lived in that time frame where I talked about earlier.

[Brenda]

Where I felt like I was being.

[Cassandra]

Backstabbed and I put everyone first. I felt like I relied on others, and then I learned I shouldn't. And right now I feel like I'm having a hard time with it because I don't. Even if it's my family, I know they're doing it because they care for me. I don't like kid relying on them because I learned to be independent for myself. And I'm like, I don't like to be like, baby. Like, I want to be like, y.

[Brenda]

And so the day I was like.

[Cassandra]

Like I got this, like I can overcome this but it's just like it kind of threw me off cuz I'm like I wasn't expecting this at all.

[Alanized]

Overall grateful that you, you're kind of like bed rest. Not bed rest but they put you on.

[Cassandra]

Yeah.

[Alanized]

How has that been? You know that you're so used to being independent and being up and down. The physical part that you're going through because not only are you going through it emotionally but now you're also kind of feeling like you're going backwards physically. Like not being able to walk without the crutches. So has that affected you even more?

[Cassandra]

Yeah, like because we're, we're going to the gym consistently and I'm like I was so excited. I'm like oh my God, I'm about to hit a year. Like we're almost there. I remember I told my train I was like my flex is to say I've been going to the year for a year and then it's going to be for a year, years. But now it's like this stopped me and I'm like I'm gonna go backwards. And I remember when I got the news I called Alex and David and I told him like this is what they told me that I know I don't think that's true. And then they confirmed it again and I just said it. Craig, I'm like I can't walk. How am I gonna do my job? Because my job is the scene is to be active. Like help you change patients, feed them, dress them, whatever. I'm like how am I gonna do my job? Like I feel like I'm being useless. Like I can't even walk straight. Like I can't even serve for a long time because I'm in pain. Like this is. I was just so frustrated cuz I felt like I was like get taking something that I been giving. Like I want, I want to be able to move, walk, do whatever I want. But now I can't even do that because I can't even walk for cuz then I call, I have pain.

[Brenda]

So all I have to do is basically sit.

[Cassandra]

I can't live more than £15. I can't walk for a long time. I have to be basically sitting bed of rest. Like I just can't do anything. And it's frustrating because I'm very, very active.

[Alanized]

When I saw tomorrow the cause kind of to confirm, right?

[Brenda]

Yeah.

[Cassandra]

So I got an MRI last week and they're going to kind of give me an update, the next steps. But I. Everyone's telling me I might have surgery. I'm hoping that it's not and that it's not cancer.

[Alanized]

I just hope, you know, at the end of the day, cannot stay cancerous. And if you do have surgery, you know, a speedy recovery because you know what I mean? And I know, you know, you're really going through especially because it's happening in real time. You guys. Normal mente when we have gas, yes, we talk about things that have happened maybe like a year or like months. But this is actually something that is happening as we speak, you know, Como lestavision esto? We're filming on a Wednesday. Tomorrow. Thursday you get the news tomorrow. Friday you guys will already know from on their socials if it's cancerous or not. Estamos ponendo los chinitos, you know.

[Brenda]

And.

[Alanized]

I'm glad they were able to catch it on time because that really is. Is life saving.

[Cassandra]

I told you know what like they saw without that I can't do much. But I'm like, I got to be grateful cuz there is a reason I was mentoring. If not, I wouldn't have never noticed over there.

[Alanized]

You got it on time, you know what I mean? Because a lot of people can, you know, go on years and not know and then it's too late, you know. Y. What is an a piece of advice that you can give to someone who is in that situation. Understand going through something medically where it can be something very life changing. And they have a feeling of like, oh, I don't know what's going to be next. I don't know what's going to happen. What is something that you would like to let them know?

[Cassandra]

I know life could get to you. Like life is like a roller coaster where you get good and bad. Right now it's like I'm in between again. I'm grateful to be alive. I think we just have to like.

[Brenda]

They say they would.

[Cassandra]

God likes to put challenges to their best warriors. So I'm like, this is just another challenge that we're gonna overcome. Maybe it's not the best news we receive, but we'll overcome it.

[Brenda]

And we just gotta be grateful and.

[Cassandra]

Pray that God will guide us through the right thing. Like God is with us. And I know it's a little hard to like be like, oh, like, yeah, it's fine. Because no need. We know how we feel, but we just gotta pray and God is welcome.

[Alanized]

Also as support system. What is something that you know, not Only would you want your sister to know, but something that maybe someone at home that isn't going through, you know, that medical diagnosis. But as someone that is supportive, what is something that you can give to advice to other people's support system.

[Brenda]

Be strong for them because this is a hard time, especially in this case. I had to be strong for her and I had to be her little know for her rock because I'm her half, you know. All I gotta say is be strong for them. Give them all the positive energy that you have. Please be strong because they need you. Although hopefully we're traveling, hopefully traveling together and hopefully we're with our future partners.

[Cassandra]

Yeah. But also how giving my family back some type of love they give us. They're very supportive and as in what's happening right now and the social media, very good for my sisters, my parents, my brothers sisters, shout out to our.

[Brenda]

Parents because they're helping us in our videos now, period.

[Cassandra]

My family went out when we did a meeting group, all of them went, and I was like, like, it feels good to know your family supports you. I really am grateful and I love them very much.

[Alanized]

The sky's gonna be the limit. Not gonna be the limit. But I know you guys are gonna do so good, you know, keeping yourselves, keeping who you guys are because that's why you guys have gotten so far. I just want to go ahead and say go ahead and follow them on their social medias, which I'll leave down below as well as on the screen so you guys will miss any future episodes. With that being said, thank you, girls. Once again, thank you for having us and thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye, guys. Yay. This episode of Nocho de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S. i know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. I love using booking.com for all my hotel needs. For those of you guys that don't know and don't follow the behind the scenes of everything. Yo siempre le sed cho que normal. I have an out of state in Vitado paral podcast. I usually take care of flights and hotel and booking.com makes it so easy for me to book the perfect hotel. Efficient. No matter who you are. Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah.

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