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Riri Realness Talks All: Trans, Facial Feminization Surgery, Dating, Dancing, CHISME & MORE!
01:48:03
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- [00:00]
Riri Realness
Oh my gosh. Like I was so scared because dude, imagine seeing hives on your body after you're getting surgery. Like that's scary.
- [00:22]
Alanized
What is up everyone? I'm your host Alanized and this is no your favorite podcast turn talk show Atus Influencers Favoritos Parado.
- [00:43]
Riri Realness
Daredevil is born again on Disney plus. Why did you stop being a vigilante?
- [00:49]
Alanized
The line was crossed. Sometimes peace needs to be broken. Chaos must reign.
- [00:55]
Riri Realness
On March 4th, the nine episode event begins. I was raised to believe in grace, but I was also raised to believe in retrospect. Marvel Television's Daredevil born again. Don't miss the two episode premiere March 4th only on Disney Plus.
- [01:16]
Alanized
Today's episode is sponsored by Via. Let's be real. 2025 has been all about change. Whether it's work, personal stuff or just a daily grind, it can be hard to keep up. But here's the deal. When things get hectic, we don't have to go through it alone. Embrace the power of nature and elevate your everyday with Vi. Trusted by over half a million happy customers, VIA is the Swiss army knife of wellness dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to creating high quality wellness products. Whether you're looking to improve your sleep, focus, recovery and add a little pep to your step or just get high, Via has something for you. With products ranging from 0 to 100 milligrams of THC, Via gives you the power to blaze your own trail. Via is well renowned for all their award winning THC and THC free gummies and vapes, THCA flowers, soothing topicals and calming drops, all crafted with the highest quality hemp source from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part, VIA legally ships to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging directly to your door at a worry free guarantee. No medical card required. So if you're 21+, check out our link to Via's website linked in our description and use code ALLEN for 15 off. And if you're new to Via, get a free gift of your choice. After you've purchased they ask you where you heard about them. So please show support to our show and tell them we sent you. Embrace your everyday with via. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight. Riri Realness.
- [03:02]
Riri Realness
Hello, hello, hello you guys. My name is Riri Runes. I also go by Relle Ruby and I'm so happy to be here today. Alan, thank you for having me.
- [03:11]
Alanized
I am so excited you guys. I know I always say that this has been a long time in the making, but we have literally talked about it here and there, you know, whenever we see each other. And I'm so glad that it's finally happening, because I feel like whenever I have anyone in my chair, you guys, I get to meet them on a deeper level, and I feel like that's going to be today. I'm going to leave today knowing you in a whole different way. Yes.
- [03:39]
Riri Realness
And I'm so excited to open up to you, get to know you more as well. And I'm just so grateful. Grateful it finally aligned because it's been a long time in the making.
- [03:46]
Alanized
Yes, it has been. You guys, if you guys follow Ruby, you guys knew she had to come in with her iconic green. You love green. It's your favorite color, right?
- [03:56]
Riri Realness
It's my favorite color since, like, I was born. I've just always loved how exotic, different it is. It's not red, it's not blue. It's not pink. It's green. And only the bad bitches understand.
- [04:07]
Alanized
I love pink and black. Right. I'm always in black. I feel like it can get boring because it's like, bitch ya cambia, teach it up. But I feel like you're one of those. Those people that, like, is always in that color palette, but you always make it look so different and so good. You don't overdo it. Like, I think you do it to the point where it looks like, oh, okay. It's either the hair, it's either the top. It's either. Or everything. And if you do do everything, it looks so good.
- [04:33]
Riri Realness
Yeah, it's like, it's a whole lookito, though. And I appreciate you saying that, because, like, I really do try to put in work into my green looks because it's a part of my brand now, and just it's a part of my life. I love greens, so I try to incorporate in everything that I can do.
- [04:46]
Alanized
You plan them out. Like, do you, like, sit down, like, let's say Friday night? And you're like, okay, let's buy green things, because I want to put it with this.
- [04:53]
Riri Realness
If there's an event coming up and I'm allowed to wear any color, I'm always going to wear green. Like Coachella. I try to do, like, only green looks. Or, like, it's my birthday. I do a green look every single.
- [05:03]
Alanized
Year, and you're going to serve a look every single time. That's the first thing you guys I said. I was like, oh, my God, you look so good. But I really did not expect any less. I really did not like, you know what I mean? Because I was like, she's always giving, she's always serving. And as soon as she walked in through the door, you guys, I was like, and I'm so excited. Today's episode is sponsored by Via. Let's be real. 2025 has been all about change. Whether it's work, personal stuff or just a daily grind, it can be hard to keep up. But here's the deal. When things get hectic, we don't have to go through it alone. Embrace the power of nature and elevate your everyday with Via Trusted by over half a million happy customers. VIA is the Swiss army knife of wellness dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to creating high quality wellness products. Whether you're looking to improve your sleep, focus recovery and add a little pep to your step or just get high, Via has something for you. With products ranging from 0 to 100 milligrams of THC, via gives you the power to blaze your own trail. Via is well renowned for all their award winning THC and THC free gummies and vapes, THCA flowers, soothing topicals and calming drops, all crafted with the highest quality hemp source from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part, VIA legally ships to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging directly to your door at a worry free guarantee. No medical card required. So if you're 21+, check out our link to Via's website linked in our description and use code ALLEN for 15 off. And if you're new to Via, get a free gift of your choice. After you've purchased they ask you where you heard about them. So please show support to our show and tell them we sent you. Embrace your everyday with VIA with today's episode you guys. But before we get started, I'm gonna go ahead and give you the microphone so you can tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.
- [07:13]
Riri Realness
Yes. So my name is Riri Realness. I am a 22 year old trans woman from the Bay Area, California. I've been dancing since was 7 years old and I've also been doing social media for the last six years. So she's been in the industry for a while now.
- [07:30]
Alanized
You guys have most likely seen her viral dancing videos, you guys. And today you guys are going to be able to know a little bit more about the person behind those videos. You guys, today we, like I said we're going to get to know you and I'm going to go ahead and start off with the question. I love starting with because I feel like it is very important to understand and know your upbringing. So we're going to with a question I always love to start with. How was Riri growing up? Tell us about your childhood.
- [07:58]
Riri Realness
Riri growing up was very athletic, I would say. My parents, prior to transitioning, wanted to make me do everything like a boy. Everything. Sports I did football, basketball, baseball. I was just always athletic at the time, which I hated because I hated sports. Until I found my love for dance, which, thank goodness, but at the time I hated it. And now I'm so grateful for the stamina and just being an active person now because I still am dancing after 15 years and just been always super outgoing since I was a kid. Always been super, just happy, wanting to make everyone happy around me and just follow my dreams and being here today.
- [08:41]
Alanized
You were like, in sports, like that, like, you were making the football?
- [08:45]
Riri Realness
No, like in elementary. I have an older brother, so they pretty much wanted me to do everything like him. He was in every. Played every sport, so they put me in every sport. Kind of like just like the local team, like, in the city. Oh, my gosh, I hated it, you guys. Like, I did not want to be there. I was like, I did not want to do this. But they're like, no, you have to, like, you're a boy. Thankfully, my mom, weirdly enough, found a dance team. She put me on the dance team, and oh, my gosh, it was like magic. I literally loved it so much. I enjoyed it. I always felt a very strong connection to music. For the longest time, I couldn't dance unless I was playing sports on the side. So on top of being in school and on top of wanting to do dance, which is like two, three rehearsals a week, my parents are like, you have to do baseball, you have to do football this season, or you have to do basketball. They only seemed it was okay because, oh, like, yeah, they're playing sports too, so dance is fine. But deep, deep down inside, I was like, I only want to dance. Like, this is what I want to do. And it was getting questioned a lot growing up. Like, you know, you can't be dancing with all those girls. Why do you have so many girlfriends? Like, da da da da, or like, like, don't dance like that. But it was literally just naturally, like, how I was and, like, what came to me at the time. It did start out with me at first, dancing. I was doing it for a few years, and my older brother and my little brother decided to join and try it out. And they were good, but it didn't really stick for them the way it stuck for me. I felt like I definitely really formed that connection with dance and it was just history from there.
- [10:13]
Alanized
Tell us a little bit more about the relationship with your parents growing up. Would you consider yourself a daddy's girl, a mommy's girl? Was their parenting, like, were they strict? Would they let you do whatever you wanted?
- [10:26]
Riri Realness
I was definitely more of a mama's girl growing up. My relationship with my parents, thankfully, I'm blessed to have always had a great relationship with them and even now, but it wasn't always easy. I definitely went through a lot of obstacles to get me where I'm at today and to have the stronger bond that I have with both my parents today. So my parents did allow me to kind of do what I want as a kid. They put me in sports, they put me in school activities. You know, they were thankfully there for me, pero not for my sexuality. I think that was like my biggest fear growing up was like, deep down I always knew that I liked boys from a young age. I mean, didn't we all, like, what did we all know? But they were not accepting of that. Just very traditional, like, very old school mindset. Just queer people not being so prominent in my family was also like, just them not knowing better. Definitely getting through that was really tough going through in high school.
- [11:26]
Alanized
Was that something that you growing up would hear a lot, maybe not directed towards you, but like little side comments about like, the community or about being gay? Was that something that they would constantly, like, talk about or even mention?
- [11:39]
Riri Realness
Yes, like from, like from when I was born, I've always been way more feminine than both my brothers. So I was also constantly getting critiqued or like, hey, don't do that, or that's for girls. Or like, you know, like you're not supposed to do that, which is like, so, like, I feel like, in a way traumatizing because when you keep telling your kid, like, no, you can't be doing that when it's really not a bad thing, it makes you think it's wrong and you have to do all this sneaky stuff or you're doing it not safely and just like all this navigating by yourself that your parents should be a part to help you in and like, at least try to understand, which, like I said, is. Is way better. Now. A memory I can definitely remember of my parents telling me that being gay and being feminine wasn't okay, was when they pulled me out of dance in the sixth grade, they actually were noticing me getting really feminine, kind of just getting more comfortable with myself. Because also, like, understanding your femininity and your masculinity is being comfortable with yourself. I was getting very comfortable, you know, dancing, being happy. And they're like, okay, there's a little too much sugar in that tank. Like, calm it down. They pulled me out of dance for a whole year, and mind you, I was in dance for, like, five years straight at that point. They literally made me play baseball for a whole year, a whole season. And oh, my gosh, I was so miserable. I was, like, not happy. Being forced to do something that you're verbally and physically expressing is not something you want to do, which is so draining. But like I said, there's so much growth that I take from that rather than viewing it as a negative part of my life. But definitely that's like, the first thing I can remember. Like, why was this wrong? Like, why is me dancing wrong? Like, why can't boys dance?
- [13:15]
Alanized
You know, we'll obviously talk a little bit more in the interview about your coming out story and about maybe, like, the moment that you felt like they accepted you for who you were. But I want to talk a little bit about what it was like growing up with multicultural parents. Your dad is Latino, see, And your mom is Asian. What was that like growing up? You know, how do you feel like both cultures were represented growing up? Did you grow up more, like, with the Asian culture? Tell us a little bit about that. When it came down to, like, your.
- [13:43]
Riri Realness
Household, it was very interesting to grow up in a mixed household. Household. My dad is Salvadorian, Guatemalan and Mexican and Native American, and my mom is Filipina, Chinese and Spanish. A lot of different cultures that are being embraced in one household, which there's only so much that I could learn and did learn at the time being. It makes me so appreciative now being an adult, just. Just learning about my family ancestry and seeing how much my family has gone through to get us here to America and me being able to live the life that I have now. Like I said, I was always a mommy's girl. So I grew up more leaning towards my mom's side, which is like my Filipina side, mostly the culture that I grew up around, because my dad's family all mostly lives in Colorado. So I. I met, like, I would say, like, a little bit of them, but or most of them at a very young age. And so they haven't seen me who I am now today. And I Actually feel like that has been kind of like the difficult part about being multicultural as well is it makes you have to really be educated about all your cultures and also embracing it, too, and not neglecting what's in your blood. And I think now being an adult, being more mature and being on my own, it's really made me realize that I want to learn so much about all of my cultures and embrace all of it and represent for all my communities, because in a time like today, we need it, and we need to be proud of who we are and not ashamed of any side of us, whether we grew up learning about it or whether we didn't.
- [15:17]
Alanized
Take us back to the first moment where you realized that you were a little different, you know, a little different compared to your siblings, to your dad, when it came down to your sexuality.
- [15:27]
Riri Realness
I think the first time I questioned my identity had to be when I was trying on my mom's heels in her closet, which, oh, my gosh, I would get in so much trouble for when at a young age. But I would sneak into my mom's closet, she had all her heels lined up, and I'd pick them up, and I started putting them on and, you know, start, like, start stomping. And I just knew. I, like, you know, that's a little. Like, that's not what all the other boys are doing. But, hey, I like to do it. It's fun. There was just so many times where I questioned my identity, like, why can't I do this? Like, it's. Are. Isn't this a free country? Are we all able to do what we want in this world? Like, where's. It's not illegal? Why can't I express myself how I want to express myself? I remember my mom would catch me and, like, mom's Filipina. So Filipinas are loud. Like, we have a very strong voice. And, you know, when you get us angry, like, we can. We'll get angry. And, like, she definitely, like, yelling, like, hey, Riri. Like, what are you doing? Like, take those off. And, like, you know, I get scared right away. Like, oh, my gosh. Like, you know, I'm sorry. Sorry. It definitely happened. I feel like a couple times, I feel like I can't remember exactly, but there's just definitely times where I was always exploring in my mom's closet. I would be playing with her makeup, not knowing how to use it, just, like, drawing it on myself or, like, playing with her jewelry. And I just knew, like, why am I always so attracted to the glamorous things.
- [16:46]
Alanized
Would your mom ever tell your dad about what was going on? Because I feel like moms. Because my mom too, whenever she would see something that she was like, wait a minute, I feel like my mom, she would catch me, right? And she would see, but she would kind of almost like hide it from my dad because she didn't want my dad to make it like an even bigger thing. Was that something that your mom kind of did like? She would catch you, but she wouldn't tell your dad just so you wouldn't have to hear it twice. If you're struggling with your mental health, you can spend hours browsing online forums, scrolling social media and reading expert advice to help you feel better. But while all these resources can be a good starting point, there's no replacement for real human relationships. It takes a real person to understand your human experience. So don't rely on generic advice online or on social media. Instead, use ALMA to find a person who understands all the things that make you you. That's why ALMA makes it easy to connect with an expert therapist, a real person who can listen, understand and support you through all your specific challenges. When you browse their online directory, you can filter by the qualities that matter to you, then book a free 15 minute consultation with the therapist you're interested in seeing. Unlike other online therapy platforms that match you with the first available person, you can find someone you connect with on a personal level and see real improvements in your mental health with their support. Usted estabe Amigas the r couple of months dealing with grief is really hard and confusing. I feel like my grieving process would have been smoother, but it's never too late to start therapy. Better with people, better with Alma. Visit hello Alma.com Alan to get started and schedule a free consultation today. That's hello a l m a.com a l a n that is hello alma.com Allen today's episode is sponsored by VIA. Let's be real. 2025 has been all about change. Whether it's work, personal stuff, or just a daily grind, it can be hard to keep up. But here's the deal. When things get hectic, we don't have to go through it alone. Embrace the power of nature and elevate your everyday. With vi. Trusted by over half a million happy customers, VIA is the Swiss army knife of wellness, dedicated to harnessing the natural benefits of hemp to creating high quality wellness products. Whether you're looking to improve your sleep, focus, recovery and add a little pep to your step or just get high, Via has something for you. With products ranging from 0 to 100 milligrams of THC, via gives you the power to blaze your own trail. VIA is well renowned for all their award winning THC and THC free gummies and vapes, THCA flowers, soothing topicals and calming drops. All crafted with the highest quality hemp source from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part, VIA legally ships to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging directly to your door at a worry free guarantee. No medical card required. When I received my package, I was so excited to try out the Via Dreams gummies that have 2mgs of THC cheap per gummy. Por quesitin que saber algo de mi amigas. I struggle with sleeping. Mine and Danny's sleeping schedule is so bad that we end up falling asleep and I fell asleep so easily. You guys and I had the best night's sleep ever. So if you're 21 plus, check out our link to Via's website linked in our description and use code ALLEN for 15 off. And if you're new to VIA, get a free gift of your choice. After you've purchased, they ask you where you hear about them. So please show support to our show and tell them we sent you. Embrace your everyday with Via.
- [21:02]
Riri Realness
It was definitely that was the case. It was definitely like, if my dad finds out, like, oh, I'm really in trouble now because my mom can usually handle it, but you don't want to make my dad mad. So definitely that was something that was like thankfully to my mom, she didn't always tell, but if I was being bad, like she'd be like, okay, like I'm gonna tell your dad. And from there I was just like, pray for me.
- [21:22]
Alanized
Mes tabas contanda noche. That you came out twice. The first time as gay and then the second time as trans a year later. Cuenta no poquito mas desa primera ves. That you came out as gay to your parents, how did they react? Paint us a story of the day that you, you know, sat them down and you were like, look, mom and dad, this is who I am.
- [21:41]
Riri Realness
I had to come out technically four times because I had to come out to my mom and dad separate times. Cause my parents are no longer together. Which is a part of like, also why it took me so long to come out. Just dealing with everything at home. I didn't want to add stress of like, what are we going to do now that Riri's gay or Riri's trans, Like just so much Stress that I wanted to like keep to myself. It was my senior year, I was 17 at the time. In 2019, I was starting to publicly dance a little bit more feminine which I knew that my family, my parents could see me on social media and I knew that it was going to be a conversation that, that I needed to have with my parents. And honestly it was the hardest conversation that I knew I had to have. Which sometimes you avoid those tough things that you have to go through. But I also knew like once I tell my parents like I really don't care who else knows and who else hates on me or who else's opinion just doesn't matter cuz you know, you really just care about your parents opinion and validation and your family. It was 2019. I knew that I had to come out to my mom first because that was just my mom was like more the dominant parent that like I knew that that was going to be the most like hard band aid to peel off. It was like, it was like November. It was I guess like November 19th. It was nighttime, my mom had just made dinner and I was downstairs. And at this point it was after Halloween. Summer had passed, pride had passed, my birthday, I just had came out to my dance group, the next kids at the time. So they were making me feel comfortable and loved and I would just felt like comfortable and safe with myself. So I was like, okay, I should tell my mom now, like maybe like she won't take it as bad. And I came out to my mom and oh my gosh, it was one of the scariest things I've ever done. She did not take it as light as I thought she would. It was definitely a hard pill for her to swallow because she was in denial. She didn't believe that that was true. She wanted to make sure that that's how I really felt and that nothing ever happened to me to make me feel that way. I remember it was just so like heartbreaking to hear my mom not being so accepting when and so many things feel like they're working coming into place for you. Like dance was going very well. I was planning to moving to LA and like my friends were accepting. Like I was about to graduate high school. So to have like the closest people to your parents just like not accept something you want to do for the rest of your life is hard to like take in yourself. And it was very rocky from, for me and my mom's relationship from that point point because a couple months later covet hit. So with COVID hitting I was basically in Lockdown with my house, with my mother, which, you know, being around people for so long, you know, you start to get annoyed. You know, especially being like, her daughter. This, like just a mother, daughter, like, argumented things.
- [24:24]
Alanized
And at the time, you had only came out as gay. Right. Like, you already told you that you were trans.
- [24:29]
Riri Realness
Yeah. So at the time I didn't know I was trans. Yeah, I didn't plan on being trans when I first came out. I always knew. I, like I said, I always knew I liked boys. And I was gay since a very young age, since I can't even remember, because I've just always been attracting and I've always known that it just wasn't something I could publicly be open about. Especially, like when your family's not being supportive of your queerness and your sexuality. You're terrified of what school is going to think, what your teachers are going to think, what your dance classmates are going to think, think. Because if it's not being taught to you in the home that it's okay. You're going to think it's wrong everywhere else and you're going to think it's not okay. And people aren't going to accept it. So for a long time, I was always, like, trying to pretend to be straight, trying to pretend to, like, fit in to be a masculine boy that I truly never was, only to make other people happy. Being with my mom and being during COVID it was just so much arguing that I dealt with and just so much like, like just not understanding. I feel like it's just so much educating. And I think it took me leaving for my mom to be like, wow, like, that really is my child. At the end of the day, I love her no matter what. And I understand. And I think thankfully for women, always just being so supportive and understanding of us queer people, because I feel like they're our biggest allies and advocates. And I just always, like, am so grateful because without them, like, how else could we get the acceptance that we always deserve? See, when my dad was a little, it was, was the opposite. I feel like my dad is more on social media, so I thought he was kind of picking up on the clues more of like, you know, me starting to wear bodysuits and pink and purple and like doing like, you know, doing my, like, lash extensions and nails. And like, I remember my dad had asked me one time, he was like, so I gotta ask you, like, are you with one of the girls? Are you talking to them like, you know, what's up?
- [26:24]
Alanized
Like, are you one of the girls?
- [26:25]
Riri Realness
Yeah.
- [26:25]
Alanized
Are you one of the girls?
- [26:27]
Riri Realness
Yes. And that's exactly what he said. I was like, dad at the time. I said I was like, dad, I'm gay. And to me, it was funny because I was like, I just thought he knew, but he did not think it was funny. He was like, how to take a second to, like, really process. And it took him a time to process, but he didn't treat me any differently. He was just like, okay, like, that's still my kid. But that just goes into, like. When I did transition, it was like an opposite story for both of my parents. It was definitely a gradual process getting into me being transformed. Although I publicly came out at 17 and it took me only a year to come out as trans, as I mentioned, I always knew I was attracted to boys, so that wasn't something that I came into conclusion when I was 17. It was just like, no, y'all are just finding out. I've always known me being trans. I definitely, once I came out publicly, it was just so liberty liberating to be as feminine as I want, be as masculine as I want, bend the gender lines and, like, just try new things, be like, try the nails, try the outfits. Because, like, I was dressing and acting like a straight boy for my whole life, so I wanted and was craving to do all that. And over that year, I was just getting more feminine and more feminine and more feminine. Like, whatever I could do to make myself prettier more cut. That's what I was doing. Like, if it was the nails, if it was the haircuts, like, the outfits, like, I was on top of it, you know, I went from DL girl to butch queen to femboy to trans woman. So it was definitely. I. If you've been following the journey, you've definitely seen me over the years like, Blossom. So when I told them that I was trans, thankfully, my mom already was picking up on the clues, and she was very, very accepting of me being trans. She had opened up to me right before I moved to LA that she cried to me. She's like, I don't care what you are. Like, I'm sorry for. For everything, like, we kind of been through over this past year during COVID It was just such a rough year for everybody. And then, like, coming out in the middle of that is just. Oh, my gosh. Like, it was crazy. But thankfully, we prevailed. We got through it. And my mom, just, like, she know. She held my hand through the way. I wasn't with any of my family when I came out as trans, I just moved to la. So I was here eight months without seeing any family, just figuring it out all on my own. Thankfully, I had my girls that I was like, my dance team that I was living with and we all had each other's support. But it was the opposite with my dad at this time. I knew having the conversation with my dad was going to be the hard one to have because I knew that since I haven't seen him, I need to call him and explain to him what's going on. And first things, I'm like, how do I even explain this to like, to my dad? Like, is he going to understand? Like, no, he's not going to understand at. And we got on a call and it was just very hard to like, open up to him about, like, me wanting to take it there with my life when that's something that is like. So I guess, like, to a lot of people it's a risk. It's a very big risk. Especially without knowing trans people or knowing about that lifestyle. You don't know what your child is truly getting into and you just want the best for your child. So I can definitely see why and how and where my dad is coming from, reacting the way he did. He didn't like, nothing, like, bad, bad happened, but it definitely was a disagreement over the phone of just like, no, like, this is who I am and this is not for external purposes. Like, this is truly for me and how I want to go about the rest of my life as a woman. It definitely took my dad some time for us to like, get back on some, like, like grounded fee of a leveled relationship. Because I feel like my dad kind of way felt like obviously like he lost his son, which is like, hard for him to accept and a hard pill to swallow. Thankfully, my dad and I still have a good relationship. We do still keep in contact. It has changed. I will say it hasn't felt the same since, but I definitely think it takes time. You know, you're. At least my dad is like, still here and like, he's still here for me, me. And I actually just seen him for the first time in three years.
- [30:35]
Alanized
How was that?
- [30:36]
Riri Realness
Oh, my gosh, we were both crying. It was just like I saw him on Christmas last year and it's just very scary. Like, coming out gay is like, already scary to your family, especially when you have a very, like, strict family when it comes to those beliefs. And coming out as trans is like, okay, that's even more extreme than being gay. So. So it definitely took me a while to come around to my family, but thankfully they all were actually accepting. It definitely has to do with social media. Social media has opened up my family's eyes to being like, wow, she really is talented. She really can do it and she's doing something with her life and she's happy. So I feel like thankfully shout out to social media for allowing me to just express myself authentically. But yeah, I saw my dad and it was just such a great experience. Like all of me and my siblings and my dad being in the same room, especially just with all that we've been through, it's just like, you know, life's too short. You can't just hold stuff over each other like that.
- [31:36]
Alanized
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- [35:33]
Riri Realness
My dad's family here in California is pretty small, so it wasn't hard for them to know exactly who I was when I walked in. It was just definitely like a big shock factor to everybody that I actually showed showed up because for the past three years they were just like, is Riri coming? You know, like, she's avoiding us. Yeah, she's avoiding us and like we just want to see her. But it's like at the same time, you know, you gotta have that mutual respect. You know, like with transitioning comes, you know, the gender pronoun changes and just also the treatment as the gender that you're presenting as that is super important to me especially growing up with two brothers and most of my cousins, cousins, our boys, it's just like something that I always grew up around, just ah, the boys, you know. And I'm just like ah, like no, like I'm really a girl. Like deep down it was just definitely like such a blessed experience to be able to go back to see my family and they just be happy to see me at the end of the day no matter how I show up.
- [36:28]
Alanized
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- [37:48]
Riri Realness
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- [38:26]
Alanized
Up First's short format makes it easy.
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Riri Realness
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- [38:49]
Alanized
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Riri Realness
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Alanized
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Riri Realness
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Alanized
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Riri Realness
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Alanized
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Riri Realness
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Alanized
Independent study Store online for details. Minimum purchase required. Was that something that the people around you struggled? Like the pronouns? Was that something that you had to be like, hey, look, things have changed. I need you to, you know, talk to me and call me and treat me for how I feel, not for what you remember. Was that a conversation you had to have not just with your parents, but with everyone around? If so, what was their reaction? Do you feel like some people, it took them longer to like, accept and actually, you know, start calling you by the correct person pronouns?
- [39:46]
Riri Realness
That's definitely a concern that was very prominent to me in the beginning of like, hey, like, these are my pronouns now. And especially in the beginning of your transition, you're like, I did not look like this. So it's like you're just trying to literally match how you feel internally. And essentially people on the outside have to do with that. Like, they help validate that, they help affirm and assure that. So. So having those conversations with my family was definitely kind of tough. Sometimes it's like, hey, like, don't call me that. Because it's like, you know, they don't mean to. It's just like they seen you grow up since you were in diapers. So it's like it's very hard for them to just quickly adjust like that. It definitely took time. And like I said, social media definitely helped them get to watch me and realize, like, wow, she is a woman. Like, that's a woman. Like, you can't call her a boy. It takes time. And I will say, like, just having to correct them could be like, very, like, it shift my mood. Like, I would get. So I'll be in a good mood and then they'll just say it and it just like brings you back down, just triggers me down to like, the beginning of like, when I was trans or just even in the beginning of when I was trans, it was just always like a trigger that was being pressed. And you literally have to be thick skinned, strong minded and know who you are to know that that's not who you really are, it's not who you present as. And they will understand one day. And if they don't, I'll have to remove myself and. And thankfully they have come around. It's gotten so much better. And at the end of the day, my family just appreciates me being there. And I feel like now that I am out and about and open, I see so much more queer people in my Latino heritage and in my like Asian heritage. I'm like, oh my gosh, like, how did I not know about this? Like, my whole life? Like, I like, it's literally like we're in every heritage. Like, it's not just like a certain type of people, a certain type of group, or you're hanging around the wrong people. It literally there's trans and gay people everywhere. I actually did not grow up watching or knowing a lot about any queer people in the LGBT community. I feel like I've seen it here and there, like online or on tv. I feel like it was all very, like, hidden for me purposely because I feel like a lot of people, my family did notice from a young age I was very, very feminine. So to protect me from, from falling into that lifestyle, they would try to keep me away from stuff like that. But you can't take away something that somebody is, and they're always gonna go back to it. It's always gonna be them. Even if you take it all away, I think definitely, like, it has a lot to do with where you grew up and how you grew up around, like being from a small town in the Bay Area, it's not really exposed to that. And I feel like just now the Bay Area is having the LGBT community grow even more exposure. And just around the world and in America. I didn't also like, start to find out about trans women, trans lifestyle, I would say right into like late high school. And like, honestly, till I moved here is when I really like seen every type of walk of life in the queer community, like non binary, like every type of sex and sexuality. Just being in LA has definitely just opened my eyes and just, just like validated, like, yeah, like there's so many of us out here and we all have each other's back. Social media had so much to do with acceptance of me and kind of educating my parents or my family as well just on trans topics. And just the LGBT community and, like, our laws that are being passed and taken away, you know, like, it's important for you to know about your family, your family members, too, and what's going on with them, them or their safety.
- [43:21]
Alanized
I think it is very much about, like, the educating, because I feel like when I came out, I was already doing, like, the makeup, right? Like, when I came out, I was doing, like, the boy in makeup thing. And I feel like one of the main things, when I came out to my parents, they were very concerned. Like, what does this mean? Especially when they were seeing me put on the makeup, you know, they went into thinking, like, what do you want to transition? Do you want to become a girl? And I feel like it is very important to, like, explain and educate them and be like, you know what? Like, like, I don't, but I want you to understand that there is people that, like, you know, that is a route, but that's not what I want to do. You know, I feel like as a part of the LGBTQ community, I feel like it's a. It kind of sucks that we have to, like, educate them, but we also have to, like, remember that they probably didn't grow up with that or around it, and they're kind of confused, you know, as much as maybe we are growing up, you know, you weren't really exposed to trans women or, you know, that world. Do you remember. Remember that first time, you know, where you saw a trans woman and you were like, you know what? This is what I've been feeling. Because, you know, you were telling us that when you first came out as gay, you always were like, oh, I like boys, you know, and it was just, oh, I'm gay. And then that whole year, you started, you know, experimenting more, feeling different. What was that moment or that person that was like, you know what? That's how I feel.
- [44:42]
Riri Realness
I think I will always give my props to somebody I looked up to since the beginning was Nikita. I watched her since, like, what? Like, since, like, 2018, 2019. Just seeing her live, like, her life and be so happy and blossom into such a beautiful woman, also having similar heritages to me just inspired me, like, wow, like, she's so beautiful. Like, she did so much to get there, and that could even be me one day. If, like, that's really how I feel, and that's really where I want to take it in my life. Thankfully, you know, like, she's, like, been so supportive to me as well, and just, like, that's just been one of the most validating things is like, somebody I just looked up to so much in prior to my transition and in the beginning of my transition and just, like, being supportive to me and kind of like lending me their hand in a way. And yeah, I would say, like, she was the first, like, for me that I was like, wow, like that. Like, that looks like one of my cousins. Like, that's literally, like, crazy. Like, that's so amazing. And. And I feel like just diving into her life really showed me, like, the possibilities that I could have for my own life.
- [45:50]
Alanized
And I feel like, you know, it's great that you give Nikita her flowers, because I do want to say that, you know, also, as a viewer and someone who's followed Nikita for a long time, I feel like she was very much not the very first open trans woman, but someone that was very open about it, especially because I feel like opening up about something like that can be very scary, especially on social media, with how social media is. Do you feel like at the beginning you were also scared to, like, open up about that online? Or was that something that you were like, you know what? I don't care. I'm already out to my parents. I'm just gonna let everyone know.
- [46:23]
Riri Realness
It was very intimidating at first. I would say, like, I was feeling all free that I was gay. And the constant, like, question I had in the back of my mind was like, are you a girl? Are you a girl? Like, do you. Are you sure you're not a girl? Like, this is truly something you have questioned your whole life life. And now that you are out, it's being brought to the forefront even more. When I finally opened up online, I was super intimidated to make my first post that I was deciding to transition. But I was so, like, thankfully overwhelmed by so much love and support and welcoming into the community, because I feel like everyone at the time kind of knew it was coming. Like, it was kind of like, like, when is she going to do it? At this point, thankfully, I got through it, but I was so intimidated because I was like, okay, it was already one thing for me to come out. Like, you know, everyone comes out left and right gay. But to be trans, it's like a big statement to make for yourself because you're now. Now you're vowing to, like, basically promise yourself that's your rest of your life, that this is the path you're going down for the rest of your life, and you have to stick to it. There's no going back. It's no undoing the surgeries and the medications. It's just so much that you're. So much risk you're willing to take. And I just knew, like, once I was 18, I was like, yep, like, this is time for me to do it. And I was like, I'd rather do it now than wait until I'm like, there's too much to undo, or there's too much to. I don't want to say too much to undo, but I just didn't want to regret. Like, damn. I always felt like this. I should have done it at a younger age. Like, I feel like I caught it right when it was. The thoughts were super, super heavy on my mind, mind. So I acted on it.
- [48:05]
Alanized
Was it something that you would constantly get from people around you? Like, are you sure? Like, are you sure it's not, you know, Because I feel like a lot of the time people that are maybe not educated or maybe don't know anything about our community, sometimes they almost see it as wrong or very much like, oh, it's just a face, right? Did you ever have anyone around you, family, friend, make these comments and would almost even make you doubt yourself? Like, wait a minute. Is this really something I want? Like, did you have people around you that would constantly, like, make you doubt yourself?
- [48:39]
Riri Realness
Yes. I feel like I asked myself this sometimes. Kind of often, too, or, like, not as often, but definitely in the beginning a lot, because there's definitely a lot of scenarios. I don't think they'll ever be a place in your transition where you won't question yourself. Still. I think, like, there's. Especially in the state of the world today, I think there's so many times where you'll get put in positions where you question, like, is this what I should be doing, or am I wrong for doing this? Because then, you know, it goes into religion and then it goes into traditional beliefs, and it's just like, oh, my gosh, like, it gets too, like, bad, bad, bad. But it's like, we're not hurting nobody, you know, like, we're good people. We're human. At the end of the day, I believe as. As long as you're not hurting nobody and you're happy, happy, you should be able to do what you want. I definitely had a lot of doubt around me. I feel like online people are questioning, like, you know, if you're really transitioning or, like, especially, like, the. The T girls can be very, like, not welcoming to you in the very beginning because, you know, from the very beginning, you're literally doing a 360 turnaround from a Guy to a girl. So it's not going to be pretty at first. But what's the saying? Good things take turns. Time when you really trust the process and you're actually doing the work internally, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It's only a, a matter of time to when things will blossom to how they're supposed to and how you want. Definitely having the doubt from either high school people, you know, just moving out here and then having all those friends still in high school and elementary just like, ah, like, is she for real? Or like, like I said in the beginning was very, very spooky. So they're just like, you know, like just saying stuff about my appearance or like if it's genuine. Because at the time I was already on social media prior to me transitioning. So just about if it was like genuine or not. Which, like, to me it was like if, if I didn't have all those people supporting me and still supporting me, I feel like I wouldn't have gained the confidence and trust in myself that I can do this and it's possible. And there's so many other people like me. It's definitely just about like, just not listening to those outside voices because, because honestly, life is too short to just not keep yourself happy.
- [50:53]
Alanized
Transitioning looks so different for everyone. What was your process like? Like, where did you start? Where did you investigate? What was all that like for you?
- [51:04]
Riri Realness
It was definitely a process from the beginning. I had no clue where to go, what to do. I literally just started doing my research on Google, just seeing where's the nearest hospital I could go to to even talk to about medically transitioning and how to do that and how much it's gonna cost. Just because I grew up in such a small town in the Bay Area that is filled with nothing but straight cis people. So there was like one gay person, I would say every like 200 people. Like it was a very, like at the time it was very, very rare for like you to just come across gay people, especially openly flamboyant gay people. And I literally was calling hospitals near me in LA because like I said, I did transition like a month after I moved into la. So I was living in a house with nine girls that were all on the dance team Next kids. I obviously had so much great support from my sisters. Well, my sisters, they just taught me so much about just naturally being a woman and the natural habits and the natural, like, ways to just go about life and navigating as a woman. Just so much I learned and picked up and Even some stuff that I've even taught them with my life so style. But I remember calling, like, the nearest LA hospitals next to me that specialize in trans healthcare. And literally every hospital was trying to charge me from like 2 to like 500 for a consultation.
- [52:29]
Alanized
Oh, just to, like, not even medicine.
- [52:31]
Riri Realness
Not even medicine. Just to like, even hear me out. And I couldn't at the time. I was like, on out here on my own financially, just supporting myself independently recently. So I was like, dude, why am I gonna pay 500 for a consultation and not. And medication's not even promised. Like, I can't right now. Like, I know there's a better way for me to go about.
- [52:51]
Alanized
Does insurance cover that or.
- [52:53]
Riri Realness
It does. Okay, so insurance does cover it, but at the time I was not insured. Yeah, I wasn't like, basically. Yeah. Like, I wasn't like, talking to my dad at the time. And I was under my dad's insurance. So that was like a whole tricky slope. Like, how do I get on medication with my old name being under my insurance and also my dad not wanting to, like, accept me. It's a very, very tricky, tricky thing. But I ended up, like, just out of the people I met being in LA my first year, I met a lovely, lovely lady through one of, you know, Zachary. Yes. So through her on her birthday party, she's actually friends with Carrie Colby, who I met back in 20, 20, 21.
- [53:36]
Alanized
Love her.
- [53:37]
Riri Realness
Yes, we love Carrie. She was actually the first and only trans girl that I met and helped me guide me in my transition. I had no clue where to start, who to talk to, where to even pick up a pill or a shot. And she literally put me on to, like, the stuff that she was doing in the hospital she goes to. And from there, they took such great care of me. I had no stress from there at that point. I was in great hands. Next thing you know, Carrie asked me to be her drag daughter. So Carrie now is my trans and drag mother. Yeah. I've just been so grateful to have her a part of my life living in LA the past four years because she was truly one of the realest and first to help a girl out, you know, like, there really is so much that you don't know going into your trans womanhood. And there's so many ropes that need to be taught and experiences that need to be learned. Learned. And I just can't be more thankful enough to have had that angel be by my side and. Yeah.
- [54:36]
Alanized
What was it like for your parents? You know, I'm sure, you came out to them as trans. But then when you're like, you know what, I'm gonna start taking medication, hormones or whatever it was that you were getting prescribed, do you feel like your parents took that a little bit? Like, oh shit, like it's for reals. Because I feel like that's when I'm sure if they did have any, any thoughts of like, oh, maybe it's just a phase, you know, maybe, you know, know, let's just see where it goes from here. But then them hearing you and seeing that you're actually going through like, was that like a different combo that they had? Or do you feel like they were already so supportive and on board at that time?
- [55:11]
Riri Realness
Definitely. I feel like at that point they were on board. I knew, my mom knew that, like that's what I needed to do. At that point it was kind of like hard for us to talk about because it's like, okay, like now you're. Yeah, like a little awkward cuz now you're actually like making the change. And, and I did not tell my dad cuz I feel like me and my dad at the time just were not really talking like that.
- [55:31]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [55:32]
Riri Realness
So it was kind of like, you know, I'm going to do this, like this is what I'm going to do. Thankfully, it's all been going smooth since then. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people thought it was a phase at first, especially just exploring your queerness. There's so many levels to it and it's like everybody's story is different. Like you have people that do try the feminine thing and they actually don't. Like they actually go back to being masculine, which is like completely fine. Like that's them and it's not like, oh, they're going back to their normal state or how they're really supposed to be. It's more of like, no, like that's just what they like and what fits them. And I feel like for me, like I said at 18 years, just being the DL trade, like trying to fit in when everyone knew damn well everyone knew, like, okay, okay, you know, she got some sugar in her tank. But yeah, it's just like there are phases and you know, phases die out. Like that's how you know it's a face. And I feel like it's definitely not a phase when you literally turn it into your lifestyle.
- [56:33]
Alanized
Tell us a little bit more about, you know, the emotional highs and lows when it comes to transitioning. Because like you mentioned, it is a journey, you know, it's not always pretty. What do you feel like were some emotional highs and emotional lows when it came down to your transitioning?
- [56:49]
Riri Realness
Great question. I think the emotional highs is realizing the fact that I made such a big and permanent decision to live with for the rest of my life, knowing that this is what makes me happy. At the end of the day, I feel like that has to be the most euphoric and biggest blessing that I get to live with for the rest of my life is like, it's not something I just do at night. It's not something I just do on the weekends or maybe on Halloween once a year. It's actually living my life 247 as a woman the way I've always wanted to be. Because, you know, none of us has to be here. You know, we all have to deal with it. We all have to make this life with what we have and what we can. And I think that, like, I always just believe you wouldn't have the calling for a reason. And I. I think the biggest emotional high is just. Just the euphoria of living as my authentic self every single day and excited for the future to come and see where I can go in my life as a woman and a trans woman, being a big representation of the community and just breaking boundaries everywhere I can. Some emotional lows definitely has to be, which is not talked about a lot in the trans community. It's just the mental health aspect. Aspect, the mental battle, fighting those old thoughts, those old habits, those old beliefs, and also fighting against the grain constantly. It's a constant uphill battle which we have to get through. We just need it more than ever of just standing our ground and making it firm that we're here. And it can be very hard waking up some days like you love how you look and some days, which is like pretty normal for everyone, but some days you literally think you look like the opposite just gender. And it's not just thinking it, it's just like actually kind of like knowing that that's who you used to be and you want to rear as far away from possible as that. And it's definitely why I always tell trans women, trans girls, anybody in the queer community to prioritize your mental health. Because with being trans comes so many mental obstacles and there's going to be so many things you second guess and question or don't know what to do. It's a lot that you have to deal with on your own. So I always say take care of yourself mentally because it truly is really hard for us Going through everything we go through that you really have to either be queer or be trans to understand, like to have had those thoughts before or to even have like a hint of what we may go through mentally on the daily. Daily and even just like publicly. One of the scariest things is like getting clocked. Especially in a very dangerous environment where you know it's not safe. And just depending on your, where you live and where you're from, it can be very, very risky showing up as you are because certain cities, certain areas just don't play that.
- [59:51]
Alanized
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt unsafe?
- [59:54]
Riri Realness
There's definitely been a couple moments that I have questioned my safety in the environments. Whether that's like at the store, the gas station. Because like one, just being a girl, you're already a target. Two, you're trans. So then it's like, oh my gosh. Then it's like a double, a double whammy at that point. Like you don't want to at all interact with any male. We'll just say that any male, you're just like, I want to stay away. I'm trying to be safe. But there was one time I can vividly remember when I was in New York two years ago. I was there for a work trip with my dance team and we went to a spa on the last day. It was like, like off of Times Square. It was just like a self care day. And it was like, you know, spas. So spas are usually like split up by gender. And at the time my ID mark was not changed. And we went to this spa and we all had to show our ID IDs, which I feel like you don't always do. But we all had to show our IDs for some reason. And literally like I said, I was, well, I have an all girl dance team, the next kid, so we're all girls. I remember we're all getting wristbands to get into the locker room to change and then go into the spa. And I remember there was another boy in the group and we had got the same wristband and all the other girls literally had the same colored wristband span. And I remember like kind of like my stomach, like my heart dropping to my stomach like, like, like what the is this trying to say? No, I'm just kidding. But like, I was just like, damn. Like, that's so up. Like how do you not. How do you see me? And then like you want to put me into the wrong bathroom. Like that's so like one that's Dangerous two. That's terrifying for me. That's terrifying for any man in the restroom seeing somebody that looks like a woman walk in there, but it's not really a woman. Now it's a mind for all of us.
- [61:46]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [61:47]
Riri Realness
And I was pissed. Thankfully, my manager was there at the time. I told her. I was like, they want me to go into the men's bathroom. Like, at a spa. Like, you know, spas, you're wearing a towel over your waist and girls you wear over your. Your boobs. So it's like, I am not going into that bathroom and about to be topless and be around all these guys, which, you know, would be nice, but at the same time, hell no. Like, that's. No.
- [62:10]
Alanized
Like, you don't know how they're gonna react.
- [62:12]
Riri Realness
Exactly.
- [62:12]
Alanized
I think that's, like, the scary part.
- [62:14]
Riri Realness
That's so scary than me going in there by myself and all my girls are in the other bathroom. Hell no. So I remember I, like, low key, made a big deal about it, told my manager, and she was like, not having it. We're like, so why has she got the wrong wristband? Like, what. What's going on here? Like, why did you guys do that? They're like, oh, well, you know, we based it off the ID and, like, that's what we have to go by. Why? And we're like, no. Like, that's absolutely not okay. Like, that's not the identity that she identifies with, and we need to change that wristband. And I remember. I can't remember vividly every detail exactly, but I remember there was some back and forth about, like, not doing it and why they couldn't. And it was really just one of the girls at the front desk just being transphobic, kind of just being a hater. You know, some girls just be so insecure sometimes that they cannot fathom seeing another girl have happy. Happier than them. I was so, so pissed. Like, I was just like, what do we do? Like, that's so not fair. Like, I'm not trying to make a big deal. I'm not trying to, like, bring up, like, do you know who I am or anything. It was just kind of like, do you see me like, I'm human in front of you? And I'm telling you, like, that's not the bathroom I want to go in. It's not the bathroom I should go in. And out of respect, you should do your part and be. Work accordingly. I think the manager started to kind of notice the conversation going back and forth between us. Like, kind of like, Arguing with the lady of, like, you need to change that. That, like. And all my girls, like, were kind of, like, behind me, like, what's going on?
- [63:36]
Alanized
Like, we don't have a problem at this point.
- [63:38]
Riri Realness
Yeah, because at this point, I was like, no. Like, this is so up. Like, why are you. I was like, what did I say? I was like, I'm gonna give a bad review to this place. Like, I'm gonna tell everybody that this place is transphobic. Because at that point, like, you have to really make people, like, feel shitty for making you feel shitty like that. Because how are you gonna make me feel so ashamed and, like, literally misgender me at that point? Like, I have to scare you. Like, I'm gonna put a bad Yelp review. Like, what's your name again? Like, okay. Oh, that's fine. Like, and, like, let me not tell my followers. Like, let me not make a big deal about this. Cuz, like, there are people who go straight to the Internet. But I feel like for me, it's always just like, no, like, we can handle this first. Like, we don't need to, like, make a big deal out of it. And the manager literally got scared as soon as they said that and they realized that. That we were a dance group. He literally accommodated us. He was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, we're gonna give you guys a big discount and also, like, give you a voucher for the next time you come. Which we were never gonna come back there, but gave me the right wristband and, like, made everything kumbaya. But it's like, it shouldn't even take the, like, knowing who you are or, like, the followers or just having to even over explain that type of stuff for you to understand and, like, care about your customer.
- [64:52]
Alanized
And I feel like it is something that happens a lot, right? Like, I feel like even me, you guys, I feel like going into the male's restroom when I'm all glammed up. It's so uncomfortable. It's so awkward. Like, these men start thinking that you're going in there to see their dick. No, bitch, I'm going in there to go pee. Like, what the hell? Talking about your transition. I want to talk a little bit more about, you know, the change of name. How did you choose Riri? You. You know, what other names are up there before you made the, you know, final decision? And how important was it for you to change the name when it came down to your journey?
- [65:29]
Riri Realness
I feel like trans women changing their name is, like, a girl's first time Buying her first bra. I think it's the marker in, like, you're a woman now. Like. Cause like, most of the time trans women, you are transitioning at the age of like, okay, you're a little bit more older now or, you know, a little bit more. Not in every case. There are definitely some successful cases of younger girls transitioning, but for the most part, it's like that step into womanhood. And I remember being in Covid, I fell in love with Drag Race. I literally watched every single season. I at one point thought that I was going to be on Drag Race one day. And, you know, who knows, maybe, But I don't think so now. But you never know whether women.
- [66:12]
Alanized
You can still do it though, because there's trans women that have done Drag Race.
- [66:16]
Riri Realness
Yeah, yeah. And I was just in love, love with the show. And I was like, what would my drag name be? And when I was a femme boy, my nickname came from my old dead name, which was my nickname came as riri. So my old name is very, very masculine. So we needed like a feminine name for me to be referred to as because that was not who that was. Like, this is Riri now. And I was like, okay, what would my drag name be? And I thought, like, okay, I think I like the R factor. We're going to stay in the R realm of things. And I think I like RiRi. I was like, I think I like RiRi. That's such a cute, cutsy name. And honestly, there's no other RIRI besides the only riri, which is Rihanna. And I was like, fudge it. Like, there's no, like, other drag queens or other trans women that I personally knew about that were like, had the name. And I definitely wanted a name that was like, not taken or not common. And I was like, okay, if it's only RIRI that I will be compared to, that's fine. Like, I don't mind being compared compared to Rihanna, but I don't want to be compared to like, oh, like, you know, other five named Riri, like, no. So I was like, okay, we need to find a last name, a two part name, because every drag queen has a combination name. And I wanted to stick in the name of R. And I was thinking of, I remember searching up adjectives of, like, things that start with R and like, adjectives or nouns or verbs. And I remember realness just being so, like, eye catching to me. The realness. Realness, yes, exactly. And I was like, honestly, I love what that word, everything that word holds. I think it's just like, especially from where I come from, the Bay Area, just coming from such a real background and going through. Going through so much real things in my life that I feel like it just fit me so much, and it also holds me up to the standard. Standard of always keeping it real. And I just love that it's like this kind of, like, it's like this royalty that comes with the realness, because you can't call yourself the realness and not be real. Like, you can't, like, be a lighthouse.
- [68:23]
Alanized
Be like you're fake. Yeah, exactly. Change the name.
- [68:26]
Riri Realness
Right, right. And, like, that's why, like, when people, like, can, like, condemn me for, like, being real or genuine, it just. It means a lot because that's truly, like, where my name even came from. And what I've internally worked on since I've transitioned is just like, I want to be real. I want to be genuine. I just want to be me, you know? So Riri realness truly did come from me making it as a stage drag name. And I just kind of played with it since because I loved the ring to it. I loved, like, the triple R entendre. And also it had that, like, seek, like, sequence to it that just sounded nice rolling off the tongue. And I was like, okay, this is it. Well, that's my stage name, so. My stage name is Ruby Realness. I go by Rochelle, and Ruby's my middle name. I chose Rochelle because I remember I still wanted to stay in R. I was like, okay, I still got to keep it in R. Yeah, it has to. Like, we're making the brand here like, it's green, it's R. You know, we're from the bay. She's Latina, she's Asian. Like, we're developing the brand. And I remember I was like, okay, what are some. Some cunt names that start with R Because I don't want no shade, but, like, I don't want no Rebecca or, like, some, like, old name. Like, I want, like, something that's pretty and it's gonna sound nice when you say my name. And I remember I have a cousin Michelle, and I was like, okay, you know, you're playing with names. You're thinking Relissa, rtina, or I'm trying to make up every name that, like, I could possibly make. And just, like, even doing my research online, girl names that start with R, I remember just Rochelle. So I have an auntie Rochelle, and I have a cousin Michelle, and I just love, always love the way that sounds. It just sounds so cunt. It sounds so baby girl.
- [70:09]
Alanized
It also doesn't sound very, like, everyday.
- [70:12]
Riri Realness
Yes.
- [70:12]
Alanized
Right.
- [70:12]
Riri Realness
Yes.
- [70:13]
Alanized
Okay.
- [70:14]
Riri Realness
It's a little different. It's familiar, but it's different. And people love familiar, but different. So I remember I was like, but I don't want to be Rochelle because one, I have an auntie Rochelle, and two, to. I personally don't like the way that's spelled for me. And if we're gonna keep riri as my nickname, then we need to make sure it all is cohesive. So rishell is where that came from. And Ruby was just kind of like, always, like this alter ego name that I always had for myself staying in the R brand and also, like, red kind of just being my, like, secondary favorite color slash, like my alter ego. So, yeah, that's kind of like.
- [70:52]
Alanized
I love it.
- [70:52]
Riri Realness
That's like the origin, the lore of where my name comes from.
- [70:55]
Alanized
From this episode of Nocho de Pendejadas is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah. Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options, from hotels to vacation rentals. And I know I can find exactly what I'm looking for. I found booking.com to have something for everyone. I'm so excited because me and Danny have found the perfect hotel for our New york trip on booking.com that is walking distance from all their favorite theaters so we can see a musical a day if we want. Me and Danny are huge Broadway fans, and we also made sure that our hotel was very spacious. Amigas algo about New York hotels. They tend to to be very small, that had the space we needed, that brought the vibes to us. I'm so excited that we were able to find the Perfect Hotel on booking.com inoper to show you guys which one we ended up going with. No matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay. That's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on booking.com booking. Yeah, I love it. Tell us a little bit more about, you know, the surgeries a year ago you went through. You got both surgeries at the same time?
- [72:19]
Riri Realness
Yes.
- [72:20]
Alanized
Okay, so for those of you guys that don't know, you got your breasts done and facial feminization surgery. Tell us a little bit more about that. What made you decide it was the perfect time to go through with these surgeries and also paint us a picture of what was it like surgery day Were you nervous? How did it go? Did you have complications? Tell us everything about that.
- [72:43]
Riri Realness
Oh my gosh, that's such a great question. For those who don't know, the first surgeries that I was able to do for myself in my transition is my breast augmentation and my facial feminization surgery. So breast augmentation is literally a boob job. It's either to enhance your boobs, make them sit tighter. Pretty simple. Everybody is familiar with that. Ffs, which is short for facial feminization surgery. Surgery is the procedure of enhancing and adjusting features to your face. So whether that's doing a facelift, that's doing a nose job, it's shaving the brow bone, pulling the forehead hairline down. You can also shave your chin, you can shave your jaw, you can do lipo in your face. There's so many different items that are possible for ffs. FFS looks different for everyone. Woman. It's up to you how much FFS you want to get done. Now when you do go to consultation, your doctor will offer you all of these. What's the word?
- [73:49]
Alanized
Options.
- [73:50]
Riri Realness
Options. Yeah, options. If I couldn't think of that, your doctor will offer you the options of what they can do for your ffs. And I knew for me and my, my personal goal in my trans journey and as a woman, period. Overall, I want to stay as close to natural as possible. Thankfully, puberty and genetics have so much to do with that. It's definitely different case scenario for everyone. But for me, I like, thankfully resemble a lot of my mom and want to stay as close to that as much as possible. And my family and I just don't want to fix anything that's technically not broken or something that's like more for external. Yeah, I feel like what I got done, which was I shaved my chin down and I shaved my jaw, which they didn't do on the outside. They actually had to, they had to open my mouth and actually shave inside my mouth like this. So. Oh my gosh, it was so, so like painful recovery. But I knew that like for my transition, I don't really desire the like bimboy like over exaggerated look.
- [74:57]
Alanized
Like surgery look.
- [74:58]
Riri Realness
Yeah, surgery look, which is like completely fine. Like, like I said, every girl, it's each three their own. Just for me, it's not how I want to go about my lifestyle, especially in the environments that I'm always around. And just being a dancer, all around, just having that many surgeries can be a little concerning for your physical health and getting back into activity and Just certain restrictions that you might not be able to do moving forward when you get a lot of stuff done. Like, that is all, like, very easy to get wrapped up in surgery as a trans woman woman. And on top of that being in la. So I always encourage. Because I feel like if you can do it and if it's something that is on your mind, do it. I will never be someone to tell somebody not to do something that is clearly something that you want and it's something you have to live with for the rest of your life. But I think it's just like now surgery is getting so, like, glamorified online. Especially just with how transparent like, content creators and celebrities have been with. Which is a good thing. Thing. But also it isn't something that's like, everyone can buy a car, you know, like, not everyone should get surgery. Not everyone needs surgery.
- [76:07]
Alanized
I feel like your goal was very much, like, you want them to look at you and not be like, damn, surgery.
- [76:11]
Riri Realness
Like, you were like, oh, she looks good. It's kind of like, like, yeah, if you ask, like, okay, she got surgery, or like, sometimes you have to ask, like, I want it very, like, does she have. Does she not? Or like, I mean, she looks good. Yeah, yeah, Just very, like, like, woman, you know, like, not overly woman, overly feminine and not also too original. My old body of my old. The old way I used to look and be. So surgery day, I was definitely super excited leading up to surgery day. The morning of. I feel like it's when all the nerves started to kick in because I feel like it really hit me, like, oh, shit, girl, you're about to go into the knife. Like, this is not something that we're just waiting for no more where, like, you're gonna experience it for the first time now. So there was definitely some nerve, but I feel like I was just so ready to get it done. And thankfully I had the support of my auntie, my uncle, shout out to them for being there for me throughout my whole process of getting the surgery done. Last Valentine's Day, I remember pulling up to the hospital super early in the morning, got me checked in here in la, and I remember it was just like, all pretty quick. You know, they put that sharp needle in your arm. Oh, my gosh, that hurts so bad. It was game time. Like, the doctor came in, went over what we're going to do, and I remember telling him, it's like, okay, doctor, you know, like, I want them, you know, just right. Like, not too small, not too big, like, just medio. Like, perfect right in the middle. There's just so many concerns you have, because, like, with trans. With trans women and our anatomies, there's different ways you have to go in with procedures, certain procedures. So I remember was, like, you know, I want them to sit up pretty. I don't want them to be, like, sideways pointing out, like, I had so many things that I told him that, like, needed to be met. They started rolling me into the operating room. Oh, my gosh. When I tell you I felt like I was in an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I felt like I was living a movie. I started, like, bawling in my wheelchair. Like, they were rolling me and, like, I was just silently crying. Like, they had my mask on. They had the hell. The helmet. They had the shower cap on, the. What's it called? The net. The hair net.
- [78:10]
Alanized
The hair net, yes.
- [78:11]
Riri Realness
And this. Like, the scrubs and. Oh, my gosh. We went into the operating room, and there's, like, 10. Ten different people, like, nurses in the room, and you see the doctor, and it literally felt like a movie. Like, I felt like I was, like, on the season finale of that season, like, oh, like next season is about to go crazy. Like, what is this gonna be for Riri? And I remember just, like, bawling my eyes out, and I was just, like, sitting there, like, so. Like, euphoric. Like, so happy. I could not believe that this is actually. Actually where I got in myself in my life. And I did work so hard to get myself here. And this is everything I've, like, dreamed of since, like, I started and since a young age. I just never knew that this would be possible. So thankfully, the doctors and the nurses, they were all supportive. They didn't even, like, acknowledge me crying. I feel like it happened so often that they were just like. Like, they're just like, get her done. Get her out of here. No, but they were just very, like, they were, like, rubbing my arm. They were just, like, comforting me. But you could tell, like, it was. Was, like, not something new to them.
- [79:14]
Alanized
Yeah, like they got their first rodeo.
- [79:16]
Riri Realness
Yeah. Yeah. And I remember they, like, all lifted me up onto the bed, and I went to sleep, and I woke up like, oh, my gosh. It felt like I got in an accident.
- [79:26]
Alanized
I have seen it looks kind of crazy at the kid.
- [79:29]
Riri Realness
Oh, my gosh. Like, getting. See, like, there's. Oh, my gosh. They had me in a big, like, head wrap, and, you know, my face is all swollen, and literally, like, I'm like. Like this. And like, my whole Chest is wrapped up. And honestly, like, you kind of feel like, what just happened? Like, what did they do to me? Because, like, you look down and you can't see nothing. And you can't really take that wrap off for a minute. I remember just like, oh, my gosh. Waking up was just like my. The first thing I asked for, I was like, water. Like, I need water. My throat was so dry from the, like, anesthesia. Right. I just remember being so woozy, getting up, like, girl, like, I just never experienced that before, so it was so crazy to have, like, felt that way. And like, you know, they just make sure you're good. You know, when you get out the hospital bed, you know, they let you use the restroom, they walk you around. And at that point I'm just stiff. Like, I feel like a stick. Like, I didn't want to open my arms, I didn't want to move, I didn't want to carry anything. I can't even talk, so I'm like humming everything. And I just remember we had to go home. There's LA traffic coming from Beverly. So, like, you know, anytime going there, you know, the traffic is so bad. Literally right when I got home the first day I knocked out, it was just like, at that point, first day, it was like, went by like that. Yeah, that was like, literally, like surgery day for me.
- [80:47]
Alanized
I'm a chismo, so I like, was it expensive or did you have insurance at the time already that covered it?
- [80:53]
Riri Realness
Yes. So it is a very expensive process. But thankfully to America and to certain states, like here in California, there is trans healthcare that provides coverage for trans surgeries. Trans. Just any trans healthcare in general, which is super, super important for us to have, because this is not the life of every trans woman. You know, I had to work very hard to get here. And every girl that has gotten surgeries and has blossomed into these beautiful women have worked very hard. And it's like, this is sadly not the reality for everybody, which is. I'm very aware of that in my privileges. And thankfully, like, there is coverage depending on your insurance. And I got a great deal for like, 9k for surgeries.
- [81:41]
Alanized
Really cheap.
- [81:42]
Riri Realness
Yeah. And yeah, thankfully, like, the doctor, he like, worked out a deal with me for it, but without the insurance coverage, oh, my gosh, it would have been like, I think like 80k.
- [81:51]
Alanized
Yeah, I believe it.
- [81:52]
Riri Realness
It would have been like 80k and like, oh, my gosh. I just remember, like, being able to do both or both those procedures at once was like, I wanted to get done because I was like, you know, surgery, you have to go out for some time after. You can't do nothing physical. I was like, no. Like, if I'm gonna get some surgeries, like, let's get it one and done, and, like, let's move on and let's take our time.
- [82:10]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [82:11]
Riri Realness
Like, we don't need to constantly change. We don't need to constantly tweak, tweak, tweak. Like, just work on yourself. Just love yourself. Like, you're never gonna be perfect. You can't strive for perfection.
- [82:19]
Alanized
What was the recovery like? I'm sure you know, that was intense. Was there ever moments where you were like, what? What the fuck did I do? Before you got the results that you wanted? Was there any moments like, oh, fuck, I just fucked myself up? Like, what was that recovery like, mentally and physically?
- [82:38]
Riri Realness
I would say physically was, like, the hardest thing to overcome at first because you're like, oh, my gosh, I don't ever want to do this again. I feel like more of the pain was centered in my face rather than my boobs, because my chin and my jaw, like, I told you, they went in and they had to stitch me up, up, like, in my jawline area. Thankfully, they didn't have to go, like, externally. They all did it inside my mouth. But, oh, my gosh, I didn't feel no pain from my boobs. I only felt, like, stiffness. It was just like, you know, don't lift anything higher than £10. You know, careful how much you open your arms and just massage them and let them, like, settle. And. Yeah. Then they give you, like, whole instructions how to go about that. And it was just my face that was really the. The. That was the. Because it was. For a few days, I couldn't even literally open my mouth. I was on a liquid diet for a week. So that was like, I'm a Taurus. I love to eat. Like, I eat down. And, like, I just was so, like, you know, like, kind of miserable in a way, like, only drinking, like, liquid things, which is like, either fruits or vegetables, and liquid vegetables is so gross. So actually, something thing that kind of scared me in the beginning was I had an allergic reaction to the medication that the doctors prescribed to me. And that was actually like, what the hell is going on? Because one, I never had surgeries before, so I never got this reaction, but I started breaking out in hives in, like, parts of my body. And my scars were. They did. The incisions were breaking out in hives, which, to me, I was like, oh, no idea. Like, what's going on? Like, I actually thought it was the fruits that I was eating because I got my fruits from, like, local vendors. I was like, oh, no. Like, is there bad fruits or something? And I was like, no, because I honestly noticed it started to happen every time I took my medication. You have to take it, like, two or three times a day. You know, prior. There's really only, like, I'm not allergic to a lot of things at all. So there was only, like, one thing I'm allergic to that the doctor knew about that wasn't in the medication, but there was something similar to it that was in the medication. And I ended up finding out the hard way that I was allergic to that too. But literally, right when I stopped taking the medication, like, the doctor told me, it all stopped and went away. But, oh, my gosh, Like, I was so scared because, dude, imagine seeing hives on your body after you're getting surgery. Like, that's scary. Like, it wasn't like, crazy hives. It was just like, kind of like little bumps, but that's still like. Like, what do you do?
- [85:02]
Alanized
Like, it's scary too. Like, did it go wrong? You know, Is my body rejecting.
- [85:07]
Riri Realness
Rejecting it because it's a foreign object? Check. So that's the thing too. Like, you're inserting. Well, as trans women, you're inserting foreign objects to your body. So that was like, the biggest concern.
- [85:17]
Alanized
My $9,000. That's crazy.
- [85:22]
Riri Realness
Yeah.
- [85:23]
Alanized
I want to talk a little bit about Como tevane la mor. How is your love life? Are you currently dating? Are you looking? What do you look for in a relationship? As a trans woman, do you feel like it's harder to, like, you know, date?
- [85:38]
Riri Realness
I am single at the moment. You know, I'm just mingling around. I wouldn't say I'm really, like, looking for anybody in particular. More so in the phase of my life, just really just focusing on myself, as cliche as I sound. Because, like, when you really do focus on yourself, you can attract the right candidate, candidates for you in your life that align with where you want to go and the woman that you want to be be, and eventually, like, the family that you want to raise. As far as dating as a trans woman, definitely since surgery, I feel like things have definitely gotten a lot smoother and just being on hormones for almost four years now. It's all just a different playing field than when you're first navigating, one, your transition and two, your love life as a trans woman. In the beginning, it's all very Very now, I wouldn't say for everybody, but it can be very rocky. And I think now it's definitely gotten easier the more I explore and the more I understand what I like and what I want in a man. I feel like at first I was just always looking in the wrong places, going after the wrong guys. It took me really having solitude with myself and, like, having solitude, being celibate to, like, just pour that love into myself and not be so fixated on, like, why am I trans? And why don't, like, people love me because. Or why don't guys love me because I'm trans, which is not the case.
- [87:07]
Alanized
Would you get that a lot, though? Like, I felt.
- [87:10]
Riri Realness
I felt like that a lot in the first few years. And I'm not gonna lie, it's still something that I like. Shove that thought away, like, as much as I can because it's really not a way for you to live. Like, you have to. To. You just have to love yourself. There's somebody for everybody. You can't get fixated on those bad apples because they rejection truly is protection. And it. It just shows you that they're not meant for you and they would never even be able to handle or be able to fit in your lifestyle. It's thankfully getting better. I've honestly been meeting some really great men and just like, like trying new things and honestly, like, exploring in the men aspects aspect of. Or the men's spectrum as well. A big part of why I was always hitting the same wall was because I was always going after or I was always entertaining the DL men. The DL or like the trade. The very, very masculine, like, machismo vibes. Like, just super, like men that are.
- [88:06]
Alanized
Interested in you privately but don't want to be open about it.
- [88:10]
Riri Realness
Yeah, exactly. Just very bad, like, fetishing.
- [88:12]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [88:13]
Riri Realness
And especially like, something about you when you first transition. Guys will like, fetish fetishize you in that type of way because you're just so early in your womanhood that they like that. And it's just so, like, it's so, like, hard to. To go through sometimes because, like, you really do crave that love. I feel like once I started, like, allowing myself to just explore with men, just men overall, whether they're straight, gay, bi, even trans. Like, just. You never know. Like, try it on now because I'm. I'm only 22 right now, so might as well see what I like now before I settle down.
- [88:52]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [88:52]
Riri Realness
So, yeah, I'm definitely just, you know, having fun, but also just staying focused because you know, she's a, she's a business minded girl and that's what comes first at the end of the day.
- [89:00]
Alanized
I love that. And, you know, before we move on to the next topic, I want you to leave us with a piece of advice for anyone watching who is scared to come out, who is scared to live their true authentic self or maybe feel like they won't be accepted. If they do tend to come out, what's something that you can tell them to make them feel not alone?
- [89:20]
Riri Realness
A piece of advice I would give to any younger trans woman, trans people, or queer people in the LGBT community or anybody. Something I always preach is to just authentically be yourself always and forever. There's nothing more beautiful in this life than to just truly be who you are and do what you want in this lifetime and just don't be so fixated or care about really outside opinions. Because once you start getting too focused on that, you start doing everything for the wrong reasons. Yeah, I believe that the more you express yourself authentically, the more everything will fall into place with you for your life. So be yourself. Don't care about outside opinions, as cliche as that may sound sometimes. Really just like, as long as you're not hurting nobody, you're being happy. Happy. Do what you want in your life. Like, try new things, explore, be proud of who you are, represent you and your communities and just love who you love because life is too short.
- [90:25]
Alanized
I love that. And I do feel like, you know, a lot of the time people are scared to be themselves, but it's very important to allow yourself to be scared and be like, you know what? This is something scary. But also, don't let things that fear stop you from living yourself. Because like you said, the moment you turn that switch to think like, you know what? I'm going to live for myself. I'm going to do things for me. That is really the moment that's going to change your whole life about, you know, your social media career, all over social media, going viral with your dances. But I want to know how all that started, because let's be honest, it wasn't always viral moments. You know, what made you be like, you know what? I want to start doing this. I feel like I can do it. Fuck. Let's get the phone out. Record. What was that like for you?
- [91:25]
Riri Realness
I would say it started to happen back in, like 2017, 2018. I was literally just posting my class videos that I either took class from choreographers or was just training at the studio that I was at for 10 years just posting it because I always loved to post my outfits, always loved to just kind of show like my dance videos because, you know, I was kind of proud. I was proud of it. And I just really started forming a bond with a couple of the girls in the studio and we just naturally, like, just started to come together and our chemistry was just so, like, unmatched. And we literally decided in 2017, like I told them, like, you know, we should be, we should turn this into a group. Like, I think this is something that is so beautiful that we have in between all of us. You know, we're also talented, we're also driven, and we got each other. Like, why not like, start our own team and just like kind of just build a platform for us to help us gain exposure and reach the goals that we have for ourselves individually and also as a group. You know, you can go so far alone, but you can go so much farther together. Together. And I knew that like, us being each other's support system was going to take us places, which. And it has. And when you truly believe in yourself and your people around you and you're not like a selfish person, so many good things can happen to you. Just being genuine and real. And in 2017 is how the next kid started. We came together as a group and I told the girls, like, you know, if we're going to be on social media, if we want our presence to be known own, I think we should do colors. I think everybody here should have a color so we could all be characterized. And people could remember saying, like, even if you don't know their name, you know, like, oh, that's green girl. Like the gringo killing it. Like, you know, oh, and the green girl's chance, like, you just, it makes you like really stand out, stand out. And also it makes like people kind of have their favorites, which you need. Like, you need favorites in a group team and you need everyone to not blend in, to blend in as well, because you want everyone to form their own brand and you want everyone to all get equals amount of attention and exposure. And I just knew, like, yeah, like, think of M M's, think of Sour Patch, Power Rangers, Teletubbies, all of our childhood, like cartoons that we know and love. And like, I just knew that, like, if we were a dance team that had, that were color based, people are always going to remember that and no one's ever done it before. So I'm very, very happy and grateful that that is something that helped stamp us in our group. Like on Social media. Because, you know when you saw those colors and you saw us dancing, you know who those girls were?
- [94:01]
Alanized
Oh, yeah. Mante, you start doing these videos, I'm sure at the beginning it was a little slow to grab traction. Was there a moment where you're like, oh, my God, we're going viral. Like, this is actually working out. I told y'all. So what was that moment for you and for your group?
- [94:15]
Riri Realness
It was just like, so validating at the time because we really, like, we quit our dance studio and we really just went on our own to start our. Our own journey as a dance team. The first viral moment I could remember had to be probably back in 2019 when we were literally posting on every platform on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Dub, Smash, triller.
- [94:39]
Alanized
You're like, one's gotta hit, yeah, Facebook, YouTube.
- [94:41]
Riri Realness
Like, one of these is gonna stick. Like, we just need to flood, flood, flood. All of us were helping contribute, taking turns posting to all the channels. And I remember on Instagram, you know, sweet Sweetie Rich eight figure. That's my type. She had did like a challenge and we had Corey. I had like. Well, I had choreographed to it and I did this, I concepted or I directed this whole video with us at the gas station dancing to Sweetie's new song, which at the time, Sweetie was like the girl. And it literally blew up. And I remember, like, holy. Like, we need to keep doing this. Like, we need to, like, people love our dancing. People love us. Like, you know, like, let's keep this up, girls. Like, let's keep popping our. So from that moment, like, we just kept being consistent because, you know, people knew us for the colors. We were starting to open up more on YouTube. And then we just started incorporating our colors into every video so people could recognize. And, you know, people just started kind of picking up on, like, oh, yeah, those are the girls. And yeah, it was just so, so eye openening. Like, when you really put intention into something and you like, like affirm it and manifest it, like, shit really does come to life. And it's just like living proof right here.
- [95:51]
Alanized
You know, you start pursuing dancing not just as a hobby, but as a career. During that time. Did you ever have anyone tell you, like, get a real job? You know, dancing isn't going to pay the bills because I feel like dancing as well as, like, influencing there's other careers that a lot of people don't see it as, you know, a career or, you know, a real job. Did you ever have anyone around you ever? Never mentioned that. And if you did. How did that make you feel?
- [96:18]
Riri Realness
I feel like that's all it was in the beginning was just like, so much doubt, so much worry, so much like, people just love to be comfortable. That's just what it is. At the end of the day, they want to be comfortable. We all crave stability, but in these creative fields, industries, you have to truly be passionate and want it, because if you're not, you're never going to gain the stability that you create. Brave. And also if you're not resilient and you persevere and persevere through obstacles, it's gonna be a very, like, hard battle to get through because you either got to do it alone, you're gonna do it with people that, you know. Even some of my family will, like, say sometimes too today, where it's just kind of like, no, like, this is what I should be doing. Like, we shouldn't all try to be the same thing, or we shouldn't all try to just, like, you know, if someone has that creative desire and ambition, like, let them pursue that and try to support them as much as they can, because you already know how hard that can be. And, like, I would really love for that to change, like, for, like, dancers, content creators. I just think, like, so much work gets put into what we do, and we really should be getting monetized for those type of things. And I just want to be a part of the change that helps dancers just gain more recognition in the work field because it truly is something that, like, we are such a big impact to concerts, music videos, festivals, events that, like, if you were just to see the artists there, it would be boring. But let there be two dancers, let there be 10 dancers, and oh, my gosh, like, it's brought to life now. Like, you bring a movie to life, and I think that's, like, overworked and underpaid. But it won't be like that for long. You know, in the moment, it made me feel very, like, obviously question myself. Like, damn, maybe I do need to da, da, da. Or honestly, it fueled me. It really did feel me. I got over the sadness, and I was like, honestly, I want to work hard. I want to prove them wrong. And I also want to prove it to myself that, like, no, I can't do it, and I'm that bitch. I really am passionate about these industries. Just like I said, you can't be fixated on other opinions. You have to. If you truly want it, you will go and get it.
- [98:22]
Alanized
You know, you talk a little bit about being on Stage and how, you know, dancers make and play a big part with these shows. You know, not too long ago, you went on tour with Coi Leray. Tell us a little bit about that. How did that, you know, opportunity come to you? What was it like being on tour? Did it meet the expectations? Tell us all about that.
- [98:44]
Riri Realness
So you want another crazy thing?
- [98:46]
Alanized
Yes.
- [98:46]
Riri Realness
So just piggybacking off of what we just talked about. This is like, probably one of the most like, haha, to your face is that like, so many people told me that social media was not sustainable. So many people told me that social media can't do nothing for you. And like, why are you wasting your time, time? And guess how I booked to her through social media? Literally by me posting myself all these years, whether I was gaining attention, whether I wasn't, and even you could be going viral, viral, viral. But it also has to translate to real jobs, it has to translate to real bookings. And it really just shows, like, you could post so much and you just never know who's watching or who will. Who's keeping you tab on you. Literally last year, the month of my birthday, I. I get the dm, actually, I got the follow. I got the follow from Coy Larabe. I was freaking out. Like, holy shit. Like, why? She followed me. I hit her up. I was like, hey, like, hey, love, I. I love your music so much. Like, let me know if you ever need dancers. Why was she already planning? Yeah, so she was like, hi, love. Like, I live. She told me, like, I live for your choreography so much. Like, I want you to dance on my tour and choreograph fully. Putting the whole production together for her, for her half of the show. Cause it was for Jhene Aiko's Magic hour tour and Coi Leray opened up for her. Okay, it was just me and one other dancer for the whole tour. I actually did the second half a tour and there was another girl who did the first half because originally I was supposed to choreograph and dance. And then they ended up just asking me to choreograph. And then, you know, with how things played out, the other girl couldn't do the second half. So thankfully I was the second. Or thankfully I was the understudy basically, because I knew the whole show. I made the whole show show. So I was able to do the second half and I got to live my whole tour life experience. And it just like, for so long, I was questioning even myself if social media is worth it. And it's what I should be doing and like that just had to be one of the biggest like proofs of validation to myself that like wow Ruby, like you have worked so hard to gain the exposure and get your flowers for being able to be part of such a big, big project. Also just all the work that it took to get to this point because it really took me posting all the time, posting my choreographies, whether they were my best choreography or whether they were my worst choreography, just documenting. And then also like opening up online. You know, Tick tock has really helped so much with just allowing me to open up and YouTube being such a great platform. It all just came into factor of like. Like if it wasn't for me posting on social media, she would have never found me. Like if I really was just one of these dancers that was like small minded and was like I hate social media, like I'm just a dancer, like I don't need to be on social media. I would have never got to hear because there's. That's a stigma in the dance community too is like a lot of them hate social media. They hate that so many people go viral for the wrong reasons. Which I, you know, I dislike too. I can completely agree but I definitely think that like we should all just be able to post. Like whether you're the best, whether you're the worst. Like it shouldn't be. No, like oh, you need to only post if you're this trained or if you're this like X, Y and Z.
- [101:57]
Alanized
It almost serves like promo for you.
- [101:59]
Riri Realness
Exactly. It's when you're really a business person you see as marketing.
- [102:04]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [102:04]
Riri Realness
Because especially when you're not signed. And me, even me, I'm still not signed. I have, I'm not signed to an agency at the moment which like every dancer that books music, videos, festivals, tours, all has an agency. So the fact that this was brought to me on its own for me, by me just really proved like damn bitch. I don't need no agency. I don't need Yalls validation. I don't need anybody to tell me that I can't do this because I literally made it happen. And I just hope that me sharing this, it's not to brag, it's really just to give inspiration. It's to give hope that like no matter if you are a dancer or any job, career field that you want to be in that you can literally attain it and achieve it as long as your mind is determined and you really put in that work.
- [102:49]
Alanized
You've worked with other artists which One has been, like, a very surreal moment. Aside from going on tour, like, what other artists that you've worked with have been like, oh, shit, Like, I really am dancing for this person. Have you had another moment like that?
- [103:05]
Riri Realness
Yes. I feel like there's a couple times, definitely. I mean, like, my first music video, which was with Daddy Yankee, like, Like, he literally, like, I got that job through my old dance studio that I used to dance with. And just, like, we all grew up on his music. So the fact that I was able to be in the Conkama video, oh, my gosh, I remember, like, that was, like, my first, like, I made it moment. Like, this is, like, what I need to do the rest of my life, and I could get used to this, like, lifestyle, because just turning your passion into a job is just such a beautiful blessing, and I will never take advantage of that. And I just knew, like, from that moment. Moment, like, oh, yeah, like, Riri, you have to keep working hard and keep booking as much as you can.
- [103:48]
Alanized
You know, not only are you a great dancer, but you're also a teacher. You teach dance classes. Tell us a little bit more about that. Where and what type of dance classes do you teach and what really inspired you from doing that, you know, leap of being, like, okay, I'm not just a dancer, but I can teach because I feel like there's a lot of great dancers that can dance, but it's very hard to be a dancer and a teacher. You have to be patient. Not everyone's at your skill level. Not everyone is going to get it as easy as you. What inspired of being like, you know what? I already know how to dance. I want to teach people how to dance.
- [104:24]
Riri Realness
Yes. I love that you broke it down like that too, because that truly is, like, ultimately what goes into, like, becoming a dancer and then also becoming a teacher. I now teach weekly classes here in LA at Playground Studios on Melrose and also at 88 Studios in North Hollywood. So if you guys ever want to take my class, come learn from me. I teach hip hop, jazz, funk, and reggaeton. Choreography. I do from beginner, intermediate and advanced. Just depends on the week and what the vibes I'm feeling. But for me, what the shift that I took, becoming a dancer to choreographer, it's always very subtle. Just being a dancer and consuming so much choreography and watching so much choreography and learning so much choreography, you start to kind of like, naturally be able to create your own.
- [105:12]
Alanized
Yeah.
- [105:12]
Riri Realness
And like. Like, when a music. When a song comes on and you start dancing and putting moves Together and combos together, you're like, oh, shoot. Like, I'm making choreography. For me, it took teaching my friends. So my friends that are now, like, the next kids, like, I would, like, ask them, like, hey, can you learn this? Like, I want to film this right quick. And it just was simple stuff like that. Like, coming up with a concert video, posting it. And at the time, you'd get, like, maybe 100, 200 video views and way, like, less thought into it as it is now. But I will say, like, definitely experience is what a dancer goes through to know that they want to become a teacher. The more experience you have, and either jobs in studios and actually teaching classes especially, it's one thing to teach adults, and it's another thing to teach kids. Thankfully, I started off teaching kids first and kind of worked my way up, and now I literally teach from, like, I think the youngest kid I've taught is probably, like, three years old.
- [106:05]
Alanized
Oh, shit.
- [106:05]
Riri Realness
And probably the oldest, I think, is probably, like, 50. Like, I've taught, like, a wide range of students, and I feel like that's something that's intimidating a lot of the time, too, is like, I want to take your class, but I'm scared because I don't know, like, But I'm like, no. Like, that's my job. Like, it's literally my job to break down the movement, help you understand the foundations. There's never really a moment that truly, like, indicates, like, oh, you're qualified to become a teacher now. It's definitely just the experiences you come across in your dance journey. And also it's trial and tribulation. Like, if you have the calling and desire that you want to be a choreographer, do it. Like, there's nobody that, like, oh, you have to have this job, or you have to be assigned to this agency to become a choreographer. Like, no, honestly, the best choreographers come from nothing. Sometimes no agency. Not all the most experienced in the world, but just that drive. Like, having that drive and. And that created creativity. To want to create and want to put your work onto other people is truly. It's magical. It's not something that every dancer has the desire to do. So definitely recommend if you want to choreograph. Choreograph. Put your record your work, see your progress, and just put stuff out there until it sticks.
- [107:21]
Alanized
Classes. Maybe I'll show up at one of your classes.
- [107:24]
Riri Realness
I got you.
- [107:25]
Alanized
I suck at dancing. So, no, I'm like, there's no hope for me. But I'm so happy, you know, that you do classes if you guys are interested, I'm gonna go ahead and leave all that information right here on the pop up screen. We're gonna end today's episode with the question I love ending with. Where do you see yourself in the next five. Five years?
- [107:52]
Riri Realness
Next five years I see myself continuing to travel and teach across the world. Last year I got to teach in China, first time going out of country And I taught 15 classes. Oh, in two weeks. And that was just for me, just what showed me like choreography and dancing and documenting my life is something that truly brings me joy. And I definitely see myself having a home here in LA because I have my own apartment. So having a home.
- [108:19]
Alanized
Home.
- [108:19]
Riri Realness
And I would hope to have a full. How do you say it?
- [108:24]
Alanized
Like a studio?
- [108:25]
Riri Realness
No, not a studio yet. Not a studio yet.
- [108:28]
Alanized
I like not 5 years.
- [108:30]
Riri Realness
Cuz I really want to take my time with that one. But I would say I see a. I see myself having a full website for me to teach classes and online tutorials for you guys to all connect with me and learn from me. And I also see myself possibly being in love by the next five years, hopefully with the right partner. And also just touring, traveling, maybe choreographing the super bowl, maybe choreographing the Grammys, the MTV awards. Just keep elevating my crafts and being good to everybody I come across and just being a positive impact to this world because that's what I'm here for.
- [109:08]
Alanized
And I'm so excited to see see you accomplish every one of those dreams you, you know, make in the journey. And with that being said, you guys, Espo, because I truly did enjoy today's episode, I got to learn so much about you, your the community and I know a lot of people at home also got to learn so much. So with that being said, amigas, Sigen Vayan is on all her social medias, which I'll leave down below as well as on the screen right here so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much for being here.
- [109:46]
Riri Realness
Yes, thank you so much, Alan. Thank you for having me today and just giving me the space and opportunity to open up about myself. It's been so great having this conversation with you and yeah, I love you.
- [109:57]
Alanized
Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being here and thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye guys. Yay.