Noche De Pendejadas with Alannized

Episode: Stei Talks All: Coming Out, Bullying, Bestie Drama, CHISME & MORE!!

Date: November 14, 2025
Host: Alan (Alannized)
Guest: Stei

Episode Overview

In this vibrant and heartfelt episode, Alan welcomes Stei, a 21-year-old content creator from Charlotte, North Carolina. The conversation is an open and honest dive into Stei’s experiences with coming out, dealing with parental and cultural expectations, being bullied throughout school, navigating best friend drama in the public eye, and building confidence through their online community. There’s plenty of signature Spanglish, chisme, and laughs, but also raw moments as Stei opens up about trauma, relationships, and resilience as a young queer influencer.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Life in LA vs. North Carolina

• [02:19] Stei’s been in LA for three weeks, enjoying a break from Charlotte, but looking forward to the comforts of home. Contemplating a future move to LA:

  "I really want to. Yeah... I'll get over that sickness.” — Stei [02:39]

• Contrast between North Carolina’s pace and LA’s opportunities:

  "There's nothing out there to do in North Carolina..." — Alan [02:43]
  "I'm from the city... but it's still, like, boring." — Stei [02:57]

2. Childhood, Family, and Cultural Pressures

Family Dynamics

• Grew up the eldest of three siblings, with strict parents—especially his Haitian mom. Dad (Jamaican) was more hands-off, but verbally abusive.

  “My dad... he was very verbally abusive... even still is now.” — Stei [06:23]

• Parents' struggle with accepting his identity due to Caribbean cultural norms, particularly from his dad:

  "This is not in the norm for boys in their culture... They had to... ease into it." — Stei [06:39]

• Despite their initial rejection, over time both parents, especially his mother, adapted:

  “My mom… she got into it. My dad... he didn’t like it at all.” — Stei [06:57]

On Coming Out & Realization

• Never had a formal “coming out.” Simply grew more authentic as he got older, especially after turning 18:

  “I never, like, said anything. I never felt the need to... I’ve always kind of, like, acted the way I did, so like, to most people, pretty obvious." — Stei [12:20]

• "Gay awakening": Attracted early on to boys, first crush was Adam from Lab Rats:

  "There was this one scene where he was shirtless. Girl, got me. That’s when I knew." — Stei [08:58]

• More emotionally close with his mom than his dad:

  “Me and my dad are not close at all, like, at all. My mom and my mom are, like, tight. We're like this." — Stei [13:21]

3. School Life, Bullying, and Isolation

Experiences in School

• Attended majority-white schools; was one of the only Black, gay students—felt like an outsider, especially in middle school.

  “...being Black and gay was just like... pick one, pick one, pick one. Literally.” — Stei [15:12]

• Severe bullying from boys, ostracized in locker rooms, and targeted for his sexuality:

  “They would wait for me to leave... 'You have to get out. We're not changing in front of you.'” — Stei [19:55]

• Loner in both middle and high school; only kept a couple of close friends:

  “...just kept to myself. I didn’t really, like, talk to people. I had like, two friends... those like the only people I talk to now, for real.” — Stei [21:16]

One Notable Stand-Up Moment

• Finally stood up to a bully with an act of direct retaliation:

  “Threw the whole [hot drink] at him... he got secondary, so he had to go to the hospital.” — Stei [23:12]
  Consequence: lost bus privileges, but the bullying stopped.

Reflection & Advice

• Doesn’t regret resisting, feels time and growth heal wounds:

  “Now I'm shitting on all my bullies... time will tell... you don’t even have to do anything. You just gotta wait.” — Stei [24:33]

4. Academics, Family Expectations, and Social Media Beginnings

• Was an average student (C/D grades), struggled with online learning during Covid.

• Went to college for business and digital marketing at his family’s encouragement, not passion.

  “My family... everyone in my family has like some kind of profession... So they were obviously expecting me to go to college too.” — Stei [27:49]

• Dropped out to pursue social media full-time; hardest part, telling his mom.

  “She’s still like, when you going back?” — Stei [30:20]
  “I’m living my life for me, not for you. So it’s just like, you know, it is what it is.” — Stei [31:04]

5. Dating, Relationships, and Social Media Fame

• Coming out didn’t make dating easier; now deals with worries over people’s true intentions.

  “I don’t think I’m like this big famous ass Bitch... but, like, people know you. You don’t know people, and you never know people's true intentions." — Stei [33:20]

• First heartbreak came when a boy he was dating distanced after he went viral, bringing lasting reservations about dating publicly.

  “I lost my virginity to... after I started doing social media. He wanted, like, nothing to do with me.” — Stei [34:39]

• Favors keeping dating private, loves a little online “tease,” but doesn’t plan to share relationships openly soon.

• Heartbreak and bestie drama with Chris played out online, leading to public scrutiny:

  “...when people have their questions, rumors just start to spread, and you have to address the rumors and it just becomes a whole thing.” — Stei [39:44]

6. Influencer Life: Bestie Drama & Parasocial Audiences

• Recent online fallout with best friend Chris handled mostly in public, amplified by fandoms:

  “...it was just so damn, like, exhausting. Like, it was just like, oh, I just want it to be over. But then you have to clear your name... it’s like, it’s so much. It’s just like a game of like, who’s the Bad guy.” — Stei [40:23]

• Ultimately, things are mended behind the scenes:

  “We’re good now, me and Chris... We’re talking offline with what it should have been.” — Stei [38:25]

• Stei takes accountability, emphasizes friendships can have fights—just amplified by being public.

7. Building an Online Community & Chasing Dreams

• Always wanted to be “internet famous" (inspired by iCarly), first viral video gave the confidence to go all-in:

  “I was like, oh my God, like, oh my God... once that first video hit a million, everyone got blocked. I was like, no one can find...” — Stei [47:17]

• Hid social media from his strict mother until he had 800K followers:

  “My mom didn’t even know I did, like, social media... until I had, like, 800,000 followers. [She found out] at Universal Studios after people recognized me.” — Stei [47:36]

• Online community gives both love and “humbling honesty”:

  “They will humble me. They’ll be like, we love you, but I look crazy. Like, change that wig. Change the shoe.” — Stei [52:52]

Pros & Cons of Being Online

• Stei has thick skin (thanks to childhood experiences); most negativity doesn’t faze them:

  “There's obviously, like, hate comments... not facing me. But pros... there's just so many.” — Stei [54:21]

• Only one hate wave (“birthday hate train”) really stung:

  “They didn’t like my outfit. Everyone was like, you’re ugly... like, it was so bad... But to be honest, I was just like, you know what? 10 million people just see me. Like, that's tea.” — Stei [55:26]

8. The Fun Extras: Challenges, Collaboration Dreams, and The Future

• Dream collab? Larray and Quinn—childhood inspirations.

  “I would love to collab with Larray. I love him so much... middle school me was screaming.” — Stei [56:30]

• Funniest party moment: Being drunk at an influencer carne asada, anxiety about being caught on various livestreams.

• Where will Stei be in 5–10 years?

  “Hopefully... I just want to be rich. Like, just have money... Like the rich uncle... Just the cool ass adult.” — Stei [59:25]

• No interest in having kids, prefers to enjoy life with flexibility.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Surviving Bullying:

  “Now I'm shitting on all my bullies. Now I'm shitting on all my haters. Now it's like, y’all not fucking with me... time will tell.” — Stei [24:33]

• On Navigating Public Friendship Drama:

  “Friends fight. The only difference I feel like is with us doing social media... everyone has an opinion...” — Stei [41:55]

• On Having a Tight Audience Relationship:

  "Like, they almost feel like they're your friend. And I love that vibe." — Stei [53:56]

• On Coming Out and Parental Acceptance

  “My mom—she was able to somehow relate herself to me. I feel like that’s how she started becoming more accepting.” — Stei [11:27]

• On Influencing & Staying Genuine:

  "I share a lot of my life online... I don't really hold back. I put all my business online... when people have that much opinion, it's like, you know, I can't even be mad because, like, I did this to myself." — Stei [41:11]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:19] LA vs. North Carolina, moving decisions
• [03:45] Childhood, family background
• [06:09] Difficult memories, parental struggles, culture
• [08:43] Coming out, first crush, family reactions
• [13:21] Relationship with parents
• [15:12] Being out and visible at school, bullying
• [23:06] Standing up to bullies—throwing hot drink
• [30:20] Telling parents about leaving college, career risks
• [33:19] Dating trauma, authenticity, private love life
• [39:44] Bestie drama, parasocial relationships, public vs. private disputes
• [45:12] Viral moment, social media beginnings, family’s discovery
• [52:46] Online friends, real-life confidence
• [54:21] Pros & cons of internet personality
• [56:30] Dream collabs, future aspirations
• [59:25] Future plans—rich uncle life, no kids

Conclusion

Stei’s story is an inspiring example of resilience and unapologetic authenticity, from surviving school bullies and challenging family expectations to creating an engaging digital persona and navigating both heartbreaking and heartwarming chapters online. The conversation balances heavy, real topics with warmth and humor, capturing exactly what keeps listeners returning to Noche De Pendejadas: piping hot chisme, relatability, and heart.