Viri Hernandez Talks All: Single Dad, Cutting Mom Off, Mental Health, Marriage, CHISME & MORE!!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized – Viri Hernandez Talks All: Single Dad, Cutting Mom Off, Mental Health, Marriage, CHISME & MORE!!
Release Date: February 13, 2026
Host: Alannized (Alan Heist)
Guest: Viridiana "Viri" Hernandez

---

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and dynamic episode, host Alannized sits down with influencer and content creator Viridiana Hernandez—best known for her candid online presence with her husband Kyle—to unpack her complex family background, healing journey, mental health struggles, navigating love and marriage, and life as a Mexican-American creator. The conversation is open and vulnerable, balancing chisme with deep personal insights on generational trauma, boundaries, and becoming a role model for her audience.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Getting to Know Viri: Upbringing, Ambitions, and People-Pleasing

• Viri details her early morning travel and getting glammed up by her favorite artists, setting a lively tone for the day [03:36].
• Grew up in a small Colorado town and later graduated in Human Services (2021), initially working in casework before pursuing social media [04:59].
• Reveals a childhood marked by people-pleasing and a lack of confidence:

  “Anything that people said, I went with it, even if it went against my own needs... Gaining a voice was something I didn’t have until my early 20s.” (Viri, 06:40)

• Struggled with feelings of abandonment, learning much later to prioritize her own needs [07:07].

---

2. The Reality of Being Raised by a Single Dad

• Viri’s father raised her alone after her mother's departure; their relationship was close but came with hardships [08:13].
• “He comes from a big family—one of 10 kids—so when it came time for help, a lot of his siblings weren’t there for him. That was really hurtful.” (Viri, 08:34)
• She witnessed her father's sacrifices and sometimes felt guilty for wanting more, often suppressing her feelings not to burden him [13:15].
• Her dad compensated with strictness and overcompensation in love, instilling independence and resilience in her:

  “I really do think that pressure makes diamonds. If you let them, challenges make you a better person.” (Viri, 12:13)

---

3. Complicated Bond with Her Mom & Cutting Ties

• Visiting her mom during summers in Tennessee felt like living "between two worlds" and always feeling like an outsider [21:41].
• Emotional needs went unmet; her mother’s struggles often resulted in conflicts, leaving Viri to “be the voice of reason” as a child [26:01].
• As she matured, arguments escalated—culminating in a pivotal experience where her mom left her at a KFC after Viri asked for more quality time [28:40].

  “She blew up. She left me… I realized she often valued male validation over her own kids, and I was the bad guy for calling it out.” (Viri, 28:40)

• Eventually, Viri decided to go no-contact, especially after seeing similar patterns affect her younger siblings, citing lack of remorse from her mom:

  “She was very much: I don’t care… I tried too hard for someone who will never really see it.” (Viri, 32:03).

• Hopes for reconciliation are open, but boundaries remain firm: “I’m not going to close that door in her face, but it needs to come from her wanting to do it” [32:32].

---

4. Healing and Generational Cycles

• Viri is determined to “break the mother wound” and be a different kind of parent:

  “First and foremost, I just want to be a present, kind, loving mom… I want to love them unconditionally without expecting anything in return.” (Viri, 33:45)

• The dysfunction between her mom and grandmother reinforces her drive to end generational trauma [34:48].
• Her message to others in similar situations:

  “You are enough. Your parents’ lack of love does not define you.” (Viri, 36:00)

---

5. School Years: Bullying, Mental Health, and Affirmation

• Went from timid to “pelonera” (scrappy) to bullied and withdrawn as a result of trying to fit in [37:56–39:28].
• Her dad supported her self-esteem, giving her “The Secret” (kids’ version) to help shift her mindset:

  “Your thoughts create your reality; think the life you want.” (Viri, 39:28)

• Middle school brought painful, “silent” bullying—exclusion, a burn book, and damage to self-worth [41:19].
• Never confronted bullies, channeled hurt into self-affirmation practices [42:41].
• College years: compounded family trauma, navigating early adulthood, and a dark period where Kyle got her into therapy after a major mental health crisis [43:45–45:22].
• On therapy:

  “It was like a breath of fresh air… Having an unbiased perspective helped me so much.” (Viri, 46:08)

• Advice for viewers:

  “People bully you because they see something powerful in you… Don’t let them knock you down. Their opinions don’t pay your bills.” (Viri, 46:54)

---

6. Love Story with Kyle: From Small Town to Marriage

• Met Kyle in hometown, had a friendship-turned-romantic start—navigated early drama and betrayals [49:15].
• Their relationship endured typical teen cycles of on-again/off-again conflicts, ultimately maturing through open communication and therapy [52:19–53:38].
• Living together before marriage was pivotal in transforming their bond into a healthy, supportive partnership [54:43].
• Key relationship advice:

  “We’re not mind readers… If we can’t voice what we need, we won’t know. My biggest tip is good communication, understanding, and patience.” (Viri, 55:23)

Memorable Quote:

“When I met him, he just felt like home. … I didn’t belong with a conventional family, but I do belong with you.” (Viri, 56:24)

• Proposal: On the beach in Cancun, full of nostalgia and meaning for their journey [58:09].
• Wedding planning involved celebrating Mexican traditions, supported enthusiastically by Kyle and his family—even last-minute hiccups didn’t spoil their wedding joy [62:08].

---

7. Mother Figure Void & the Importance of Chosen Family

• Mom’s absence from major milestones was expected but still bittersweet; Kyle’s family stepped in with immense love and support [64:11].
• After the wedding, their marriage feels blessed and has opened “new doors” for them [65:51].

---

8. Building a Life & Platform Online

• TikTok started as a fun side gig with Kyle, went unexpectedly viral (first with a dance, then “how does he say your name?”) [67:44].
• Critics from her hometown (calling her a “wannabe influencer”) pushed her to pause for years, but she eventually resumes after letting go of others’ opinions [67:44–69:51].
• Crafted a powerful online community, especially sharing wedding planning, cultural moments, and relatable struggles.
• Social media has healed her inner child, especially when receiving affirmations from followers with similar backgrounds:

  “People message me, little girls who also don’t have a mom, saying, ‘Thank you for speaking about it.’ That really does heal you.” (Viri, 71:06)

---

9. Being a Voice for the Community Amid Political Fear

• Stresses the privilege and responsibility of using her platform, “especially for those living in fear,” referencing her own family’s immigrant journey [72:18].
• Alan and Viri share personal worries about advocacy in today’s political climate (DACA fears, potential government retaliation) [73:15–75:22].
• Viri:

  “Being a strong voice comes with a lot of support but also a lot of attack. … I’m not scared of getting in the battlefield for my people.” (Viri, 75:30)

• Advice for those living in fear:

  “You are just as worthy of being here as anybody else. … Your legal status, the color of your skin, your language—none of that defines you.” (Viri, 76:25)

---

10. Social Media: Pros, Cons, and Overcoming Criticism

• Social media’s reach is a powerful tool for connection and activism, but invites inevitable criticism [79:10–80:29].
• She reflects on letting go of others’ judgments, especially from those who “aren't living the life you want” [82:41].
• Alan echoes: “Don’t let anyone criticize you to the point where you stop wanting to do what you love” [80:29].
• Viri’s gratitude:

  “I’m very grateful I didn’t let the hate and criticism get to me because I wouldn’t be in these spaces with powerful people that inspire me.” (Viri, 82:41)

---

11. Looking Forward: What’s Next for Viri

• Envisions herself taking risks, becoming a mom, building the family environment she always wanted, and continually seeking growth:

  “I’m going to keep seeking rejection, keep making myself uncomfortable, and keep making myself proud.” (Viri, 84:20)

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Gaining a voice was something that I didn’t have until my early 20s." (Viri, 06:40)
• "Pressure makes diamonds... the challenges that you go through can make you a better person." (Viri, 12:13)
• "I realized she often valued male validation over her own kids, and I was the bad guy for calling it out." (Viri, 28:40)
• "You are enough. Your parents’ lack of love does not define you." (Viri, 36:00)
• "Your thoughts create your reality; think the life you want." (Viri, 39:28)
• "We’re not mind readers… My biggest tip is good communication, understanding, and patience." (Viri, 55:23)
• "When I met him, he just felt like home... I do belong with you." (Viri, 56:24)
• "People bully you because they see something powerful in you… Don’t let them knock you down." (Viri, 46:54)
• "I’m not scared of getting in the battlefield for my people." (Viri, 75:30)

---

Memorable Moments & Timestamps

• KFC Incident with her Mom: Turning point for going no-contact (28:40)
• Mental Health Crisis & Kyle’s Support: Candid discussion of hitting rock bottom, therapy journey (43:45)
• Cancún Proposal Description: Beach, emotional impact, “every version” of Kyle (58:09–60:19)
• Wedding Traditions/Hiccups: Losing the music group last minute, focusing on love over details (62:40)
• Advocacy & DACA Fears: Raw exchange about the risks of being outspoken during turbulent times (73:15–77:05)

---

Advice & Takeaways

• For Difficult Family Dynamics: “Set boundaries if a relationship only brings pain. Hope for healing, but don’t wait for someone else to do the work for you.”
• On Bullying & Mental Health: “Therapy and affirmations matter; remember your worth is not defined by others.”
• Romantic Relationships: “Communication, patience, and voicing your needs are critical. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader.”
• Social Media: “Don’t let criticism—or hometown chisme—keep you from putting yourself out there.”
• Advocacy: “Use your platform to amplify voices for those who are unable to speak.”

---

Concluding Note

Viri’s story is one of resilience, evolving family, and self-empowerment, wrapped in the honesty and humor that has made her relatable to so many. The episode is rich in vulnerability, Spanglish warmth, and practical advice, leaving listeners reminded that their past does not define their future—and that healing is always possible, one boundary and conversation at a time.

---

For Viri’s socials, follow the links provided in the show notes. Don’t miss future episodes for more chisme, healing, and real talk from your favorite online personalities.

Transcript

[Angie.com Narrator]

If you're tackling a home project, check out angie.com from roofing to remodels and everything in between, Angie connects you with skilled pros who do such a good job, you might trust them to do other things like pull out your tooth or be your kid's godfather. Well, don't ask them to do these things. Just let them get the job done. Well, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust, find a pro for your [e-mail] that's a n g I dot com.

[Hamster Owner]

Why have I asked my electrician I found on angie.com to bury my pet hamster Nibbles in our yard for me? Because I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires, I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet Nibbles after his untimely end.

[Angie.com Narrator]

Huh?

[Hamster Owner]

Nibbles gone too soon. May he scurry in peace.

[Electrician]

Hey, sorry about your pet, but I just wire stuff.

[Hamster Owner]

Nibbles would have loved you like a brother.

[Angie.com Announcer]

Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years, Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I was a bad guy for bringing it up and that was one of the last moments where I was like, yeah. And I do really think that it kept escalating more and it probably would have escalated even more now because I have no tolerance for mistreatment like that.

[Alan Heist]

What is up everyone? I'm your host Alan Heist and this is Noche de Pendejas, your favorite podcaster and talk show and on the Yo Trago atus Influencers. So without any further ado, please help me welcome my guest tonight. Biriana Hernandez.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Thank you so much for having me here.

[Alan Heist]

This has literally been a while in the making and I'm so excited. I want to say like months. You landed in la. What your day was like today. A How was your flight over here Kistas leading up to today?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, so we actually woke up really early cuz we had to be at the airport at like four in the morning and then our plane left, we landed here at like 8 in the morning and I have una prima kibibe in Inglewood so I got to go.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Conocer su casa convivir coneya.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

At the Hard Rock Cafe. Did the Hard Rock Cafe. So I went and bought him some stuff over there. We got to con and then go back to our hotel and get ready for the day.

[Alan Heist]

You're not tired girl. Cuz I literally was like thinking I was like, she literally had to wake up super early. You literally did so much already. Check in, get ready. When you told me you had a whole glam team, I was like, all right. She got this.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah.

[Alan Heist]

How was that? Like, getting ready for the podcast.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

The glam girls, the makeup artist, the hairstylist there, I felt like I've known them my whole life, so it was just really nice. They made me feel very relaxed, very at home, so it was good. My makeup artist is actually diabolica on Instagram. Shout out to her because she does amazing work. My hairstylist is glam ros on Instagram. They both did amazing work, and I'm very thankful that they were able to be there to make this happen and to get this glam going.

[Alan Heist]

No, you look amazing. Amigas and cuanto la vie en trar de la puerta?

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Oh.

[Alan Heist]

Oh, my God. You went above and beyond, and I love it. Amigas.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

And TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Con mi esposo gramos contenido de parejas de chistes. The muchas cosas. Yofi in a cidad de papas mexicanos en un pueblito chiquito quesayama Fort Morgan es un pueblito en Colorado. Muchos nolo conos en pero s existe y fuera del contenido y de la sociales. Yo me gradu dela universidad en dos mil venti uno con mititulo de servicios humanos.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I worked in caseworking and all of that after graduating college and everything, and now I am pursuing social media, and I'm very happy to be here, and.

[Alan Heist]

I feel like that's why I'm so excited. Through social media, it's really hard to keep up and really get to know a person. With their upbringing and how they were raised. What was your childhood like? What was your personality like growing up?

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Que no me kerian and los lugades on the yo estaba.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I was very much a people pleaser. Anything that people said, I went with it, even if it meant that I was going against what my own needs were or my feelings were. And gaining a voice was something that I didn't have until I was in my early 20s. So it was something that I feel like little Vidi really was missing. She was a people pleaser, always trying to appease everyone else around her.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Por que como de nia suma ma sentia que?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

If she just went along with what everyone else was saying and telling her to do, then no one else would abandon her. And she had that abandonment wound. So it took a lot of self work and a lot of self healing to get to where I am today with that strong voice and that self esteem that little V didn't have.

[Alan Heist]

You know, we're going to get more into your relationship with your parents, a little bit into the podcast hobbies. What do you remember now as an adult that you're like, I remember doing this and bringing so much joy and happiness into my life. What were the hobbies growing up?

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Yo quiero ser cantante or yo quiero.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Start in the stage or I just want to be a performer. So for me, I think little Vidi had aspirations, and she was very determined in seeing the world through a different lens and just had hope for a brighter future.

[Alan Heist]

What was it like being raised by a single dad? Do you feel like as a kid you understood why he was raising you alone? And did you ever see him go through any struggles financially, mentally, and emotionally? Because nos cuentas que el solo te.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Crio estoy muya gradicida mi papa. Por quel me crio? El solo paradar me to lo que media.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

But I did see him struggle a lot. He comes from a big family. You know, he's one of 10 kids that my grandparents had, and so he has nine siblings.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

El Los ayudo mucho. Pero cuanduera tiempo de quellos lu ayudaran no todos hay barrios los pod contaren mimano los que.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

They should have been there to help my dad, to take care of me, to make life easier for him. Instead of doing that, they held things.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Against him, like, siemprestas die banto tunina con tu mama. No masla de jasay.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I had certain tias, certain family members that would say things like, yo no.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Masla, estoy cuidando porque neces.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Those types of things are hard, not just on my dad, not just on me, but on anyone that has to go through. Being raised in a broken home and being raised by a single dad, I seen him struggle so much and give so much to everyone else, but when it was a time for him to receive help and for him to receive love and guidance from his family, they weren't there to do that for him. So that is really hurtful.

[Alan Heist]

As kids, the life we live just becomes so normal, you know? Do you remember the time where maybe you're like, oh, shit, like, not everyone just has a dad. Like. A realization you had in your head, that realization.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Not a lot of people can identify with that type of situation. So for me, it was a lot of times wondering, is something wrong with me? Because I don't have a mom that wants to be in my life the way that other people's mom is in their life. But then again, I tried to rephrase that and also say, estas muy a.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Fortunada de 10 neru unpapa que valle horo y a la vida porti.

[Alan Heist]

Growing up, you ever blame your dad because ita o vio mas en el centido y que cuandono is muy pequeno. And they don't really understand and grasp, like, the situation, you know? Like, I'm sure I don't know if you did ever have moments like, oh, I don't know why you couldn't stay with my mom. Like, I don't know why you guys couldn't work it out. Do you feel like you ever. Even if it was for a moment, did you feel like you ever resented your dad?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think I definitely did. There were times where I was like, you know, my mom always spoke very negative about my dad to me, and he always spoke just neutral about my mom to me. So it was different because when I was around my mom, she always painted my dad as, like, the worst of the worst. And my dad always just painted her neutral. So she would make comments like, yo.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Nostava feliz muchas cos acient se yole reclamabas mi mama estaba feliz, you know.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And stuff like that. And just kind of telling him, like, why couldn't you make it work?

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Muchas vesas le desia por que no me podias are unnerman un compa para poder pasar la vida.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

But it made me very independent from a very early age. It gave me the ability to seek things on my own, to investigate, to research, to ask questions, and just get things that I needed to be done on my own. And I'm really thankful for it because I really do think that pressure makes diamonds. And at the end of the day, the challenges that you go through, a lot of times, if you let them, they make you a better person. They convert you into a champion. And that's the way that I try to look at it.

[Alan Heist]

Los sacrificios que a la mejorto ba pane tiempuesta basiendo. You know, like, paying rent, like, sounds so simple for a kid. Like, what do you mean? Like, you just go to work, pay your rent. But, yeah, I'm sure you're like, oh, it's not as simple as my little brain thought. Did you ever feel guilty or maybe did you not realize the sacrifices that your dad was doing? Did you ever feel guilty wanting or asking for more than maybe he was able to provide?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I did. But at the same time, like how I mentioned earlier, I was a big people pleaser, and my dad was the only adult that I really could rely on. So a lot of the feelings that I had, I would just suppress them for the sake of not adding more weight onto my dad, not adding more challenges, not adding more problems. And so anything that I was feeling, I just would suppress it. And I would just be a yes man and be like, it's okay, you're doing good. Even if there were things that I was lacking as a child, I wouldn't really voice them because I didn't want to add more pressure and more problems to him.

[Alan Heist]

Do you think that created an internal problem for yourself because, you know, having to bottle everything up and not having maybe a parent to guide you through what you were going through, this uno se lasto. Do you feel like that happened because you were maybe too scared to ask your dad or maybe you didn't want to bother him, like you're saying?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think so. Because it kind of pours into a lot of aspects in your life when you don't want to ask for things, when you don't voice the things that you need, when you're going against your own feelings, even as a child, you kind of start to make this habit that you grow into an adult. My dad was both of my parents for me. I remember the chiquita.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

El siempretratava de hacerme los conguitos el.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Siempretra tava de to make sure that my outfit was matching, to make sure that all my needs were met. And a lot of times he would try to overdo it because he felt like I was lacking that love from my mom or from other people in my life. So he would buy me all these gifts or he would buy me everything and sien prepo dia contar conel no importa. Any event that I had in school and cheer and extracurriculars, I could always count on him. I would look in the stands and he was there. He was cheering me on, even if it was just him by himself. A lot of times I felt like my dad was a little more on the harder side. Not so hard, but not so nurturing like how a mom should be. But it's because he himself has told me. He knew that he was preparing me to be a grown woman, to go out there, to be an adult in this world, and that the world doesn't take it easy on you. So although he didn't have that partner to fulfill the nurturing, loving, caring role, he did the best that he could. And I thank him for that.

[Shopify Advertiser]

Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. In the past I've had Lash Brand, I've launched Merch and even with this podcast. When I started this podcast, I wasn't even sure what I was doing. What if no one listens? What if no one sees my vision? Now I know that I was right in believing in myself and launching my podcast despite all fears and hesitations. It can also help when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Alo Yoga and Rare Beauty to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create emails and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce experts with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processes, returns and beyond. I love Shopify Amigas porquember that quesi as owning a business so easy. In the past when I've had my Lash brand and also whenever I'd launch Merch, I've always used Shopify Porque ac todo super fasci. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today shopify.com Allen go to shopify.com Allen that is shopify.com Allen.

[HVAC Customer]

Why have I asked my h vac guy I found on Angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts, I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop UPS tube while I was on vacation.

[Alan Heist]

Make it quick young man.

[HVAC Customer]

Aw see Pop up trusts you.

[Angie.com Announcer]

I think we should call a doctor. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years. Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Alan Heist]

Do you remember, like, a moment growing up where maybe you didn't understand that that was your dad protecting you or being a little too hard on you because he wanted you to be prepared for the real world? And maybe at the time, you're like, oh, my God, I hate my dad. He's so strict. Like, if I had a mom, it would be so different. Do you remember a moment now that you look back and you're like, wow, I'm so grateful that my dad was that way because I turned out amazing?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, he was very strict with me. Even Kyle will tell you, like, when we first started dating, the curfew was 7, and it could not be any later. It could not be 701. It could not be anything like that. It had to be seven. He was very strict with me.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

He wanted me to have la casa li impiantes a salid.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

He wanted me to do my chores and to do everything that I needed to do in order to go out and have fun with my friends or to go out and have fun con min novio. So I thank him for that because he kind of instilled responsibilities in me, even though at that moment I was like, if I had a mom, maybe she would be more lenient with me, or if I had a mom, maybe she would be this or that. But at the end of the day, he really had to do the best with what he had.

[Alan Heist]

And I feel like that that's the best part. When we get to an age and we realize los sacrificios and all those, like, moments where we thought, que nostros padres en amigos. And we grow up to realize, like, wow, like, my dad really taught me so many things without me realizing it at the time, you know, quiero platicar un poquito maze la relacion con to mabanos cuentas. That growing up, you know, the relationship was a little inconsistent, and, you know, it was a little rocky. Growing up. And when you guys would see each other, what was that like for you?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I remember from the moment that I landed, it was very happy. I was very glad, and I felt warm and just, you know, a little more complete because I had my mom. But from the moment that I landed, she would start fighting with my sibling's dad. And every day for the summer, it would be something, one thing after another. And that really does not just affect me, but it affects my siblings.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

And I know los dosti en la culpa por muchas Cosas pero.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think that she just had a lot of unresolved things, mentally that would trigger her, that would make her mad, that would make her irritated, and would make her pick fights with him. And I so badly just wanted to be the mediator. I so badly just wanted to resolve that for her. She'd always just want to leave. I would tell her, you can come live with me. You can come to Colorado, we'll figure it out. It doesn't matter. Just, I want you to be happy. I would always try to just be the problem solver for her. But at the end of the day, I realized you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. No matter how many times I tried to be that problem solver for her, it wasn't my place to do it. Especially because I was just a child as a kid.

[Alan Heist]

Do you feel like you made sense of why she wasn't present in your life full time? Ilo Gobaspaya, Tennessee and you see her with a whole different family. Did you ever question that? Like, por que amino me toco esta familia completa?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, I always felt out of place.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Especially because mi familia siempre no macera mi papa.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And then I would go over there and they had a whole life without me. And as much as I tried to encajar or I tried to be a part of it, it. I knew that at the end of the day, it wasn't really mine. But I just kind of accepted it because that's what my life was like. I knew that at the end of the day, my place was with my dad and I was only going with her and my siblings and her husband at the time, for part time. It wasn't a full time thing. So it was just kind of like living between two worlds and knowing when to adapt, how to change for your environment.

[Alan Heist]

Do you feel like the summers was enough time for you to build an emotional relationship with your mom? Or do you feel like because you would only see her for such little time, it almost also created a distance where you were like living a whole completely different life in Colorado, in Omasivas mas como tiempo de vacaciones. Do you feel like it was enough to build that relationship?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I definitely feel like I was missing her for the other 10 months of the year. I felt like two months was not enough. I wanted to soak her in as much as I could during those two months that I had with her.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

But mucho pasava durante los das mes es que nos tava coneya.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Heartbreaks, friend, you know, breakups, A lot of things that you go through, especially as a girl evolving into a woman. I do think that no matter how much I spent every single day with her during the summer, it was never going to be enough because I really just needed her to be there for me through the milestones and through every other chapter. I do feel like a mom plays a big role into, especially with a little girl with her daughter, showing her how to love herself, showing her how to love what she sees in the mirror, showing her how her body works, hormones, different changes that you're going through. And I didn't really have that. You know, I had some of it partially for when I went with her during the summers, but other than that, it was just me figuring it out. It was me asking my grandma or me asking a friend mine of at school. I remember a lot of times I had this friend that I was really close to, and I didn't know what was happening with my body, but she explained it to me. She brought the products that I needed, she gave me the talk. She was there for me, you know, and so I kind of just had to pivot and reach out to the people that I did have around me. So in a way, it made me more independent and helped me to kind of figure out the problems on my own.

[Alan Heist]

Do you feel like as you started getting older, into your teen years, do you feel like your relationship with your mom got a little bit more distance? Because, like you said, you were older, you were going through stuff, that maybe you were resenting her for not being there for you in those important developmental moments for you. Sientes como que. As you started getting older, like, como que tempersa distanciar de ya en?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, I tried to have a relationship with her. That's one of the things little me, and even current me has always wanted, is to have a relationship with her. But you can't force someone to want to be in your life. And that's what I had to accept. Once I got into college, it was a lot more difficult because for the majority of my life, I was traveling to her state every summer, from Colorado to Tennessee, and from Tennessee to Colorado. But then once I got into college, I was really busy. I was busy with schoolwork. I was busy in the summers taking more classes, trying to get my coursework done, trying to make sure that I'm going to graduate on time. And so when I wasn't able to fly out there and when I started being a Busy adult. I stopped seeing her. And that's when I really started to see the relationship shift. I tried to go as much as I could, but then a lot of things happened and transpired throughout the years that I think have led to what it is now.

[Alan Heist]

Your dad was responsible for a lot of, like, the emotional repairing in you. What did that look like for you? And do you feel like because you had such a great relationship with your dad growing up, how you viewed your relationship with your mom, he had to.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Do a lot of emotional repairing? Because there was a lot of times that when I would go visit her, it was like a toxic relationship. It was like a pulling and pushing and pulling and pushing. From the moment I can remember, since I was like in the third grade, I would go and me and her would have arguments, and it would really hurt me, the things that she would tell me, the arguments that we would have. I felt like if I'm a child and you're the adult, maybe you should be the voice of reason. But a lot of times it felt like no matter how young I was, I had to be the voice of reason. There were times even throughout middle school and high school that we would fight and fight and fight, and I would reach out to my dad or I would reach out to Kyle and just be like, you know, I just want to go home. I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. I don't want to be in an environment where I'm just basically begging this person to be in my life. And then when I would get home, my dad would do a lot of the repairing. You know, I would cry, I would vent to him. He would do the patching up of my heart. And then for the next 10 months, I would forget what happened during the summer. And by the time that it was time to go visit her again, I was like, you know, I miss my mom. I want to see her. Maybe I should go see her. So it was a lot of cycles. Yes, a lot of cycles.

[Alan Heist]

You know, no squintas that you guys would argue a lot. Do you feel like those arguments kind of got harder as you got older because now you were a women, that you're like, you know what? I know how things are, you know, manipulate because you're my mom. Like, do you feel like as you got older and you stepped into your womanhood, do you feel like those arguments either got harder or even rockier?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I do. One of the last arguments that we had was around. It was in 2020, one of the last times that I ever went with her.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Ya de jado de el papade mis hermanos.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And she was seeing someone else. And you know, she's a woman. At the end of the day, she has her own needs and stuff. I tried to be very understanding. I hadn't seen her for a long time because, like I mentioned, I hadn't gone gone for the summers and for the breaks because I was busy with college and all of that. I had four days that I paved out for me to go visit her. Just randomly. Me and her had agreed on it. When I went to visit her on day one, she wanted to go con el novio. And it really hurt me because I was like. I told her, I was like, mama.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Yo quiero pasar el tiempo con tigo por que no puesta que yome regresse a colorado para pasarte.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

She blew up. She left me at like a local kfc. She drove off and I was just there. I was crying. I called Kyle. I was like, my mom just left me. She drove off. She has my sister in the car. She's mad because I said, why can't you spend the four days that I'm coming to visit you for with me instead of Cornel Novio? A lot of times I let things go, but I think as I started to grow older and I started to gain that voice for myself and I realized she often valued male validation over her own kids. And I was the bad guy for calling it out. I was a bad guy for bringing it up. And that was one of the last moments where I was like, yeah, no. And I do really think that it kept escalating more and it probably would have escalated even more now because I have of no tolerance for mistreatment like that.

[Alan Heist]

Have you ever had a one on one conversation with that about how she's made you feel over the years? If so, how did that conversation go? Or if you haven't, Por que nunca te santido con es anecida tenera? Do you feel like she would just kind of like gaslight you or kind of not really take your feelings into consideration?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I have tried to have a conversation with her multiple times. Times in person and also through text. But it feels like there's no accountability there. There's no sense of I'm sorry I did wrong or even listening to understand. It's more of listening to answer, listening to react. So I knew that there was just really no getting through to her. She didn't ever really feel bad, or at least she never demonstrated it to Me. So there was no sense of. Of continuing to voice what she was doing to me and continuing to voice the hurt. Instead, I was like, okay, no limporta. It's time for me to move on a little bit.

[Alan Heist]

Before your wedding, you went no contact with her. And that is still something that is going on today. Cuenta nos un poquito mas del momento that led you to make that decision. How hard was it for you to be like, you know what? Hastaquisa cava esta relacion? It's not really doing anything for me but causing pain. And what do you think was the hardest part about going no contact with the parent?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

The moment that I decided to really.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Just and say yabasta yano quiero mas.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Te esta relacion was when she started to be in this relationship and it started to affect my siblings because for the longest time I was like, maybe it's me, maybe it's not, but maybe she could do it right with my siblings. And when it started to affect them three and they ended up, you know, going. Living with their dad and going through a lot of things that I wasn't really made aware of until I had conversation with certain people. That's when I was like, okay, she's really putting these men first instead of putting her kids first. And that was what was really hurtful to me. And I said, you know, I'm going to put this boundary and just say, you know what? I want no part in this. I can't support this.

[Alan Heist]

Did she give you a reaction? Or was she just very much like. Like, I don't care.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

She was very much. I don't care. She showed no ounce of remorse, no ounce of even caring a little bit. And that's when I knew maybe I just tried too hard for someone that will never really see it.

[Alan Heist]

Did that hurt you? What was the healing process to that? Or is it something quesientes Quebec you're still trying to, like, heal from? Or is it something that you've come to peace with? What was that process like after going on contact with your mom?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

After I finally started, said, you know, I'm going to go no contact. I'm not going to allow her to continue to come into my life and support the decisions that she's doing? I really made peace with it. And I said, you know, I'm not close to it. I tell my dad, I tell Kyle, I tell friends. If one day she comes to me magically and she's like, m, I want to be there for you. I Want to be there for my future N. I want to be in your life. I want to repair our relationship. I'm not going to close that door in her face and say, no, it's too late. I would like to fix it. But that needs to come from her. That needs to come from her wanting to do it. So at the end of the day, I have to just leave it in God's hands and let him take care of it.

[Alan Heist]

Where you're like, you know what? Cuando yose ama maquiro Said the opposite. And what are things that you, as, you know, women now that will eventually have kids? What are the things that you're like, you know what? I want to make sure I do this and my kids don't feel this way. What are things that you felt like you needed from a mom that you want to make sure you overdo?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I just want to be a present mom. First and foremost, I want to be a present mom. I want to be there for all the good and the bad days. I want to be their number one cheerleader. I want to love them unconditionally without expecting anything in return. I want to cheer them on and instill in them that they're capable of achieving absolutely anything in their life. I want them to know that no matter who abandons them or who rejects them or who leaves them in their.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Life, siempre puen conar conmigo.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

That's something that I could never really say in my life. But first and foremost, I just want to be a present, kind, loving mom.

[Alan Heist]

Do you feel like being a mom has been something that, you know, haber vivido todo es. So has it scared you to becoming a mom? Or do you feel like that has motivated you more to be like, you know what? Or do you feel like I at tiempos where you're like, you know what? Like, maybe I'm not healed or maybe I'm not ready because I didn't have. Do you feel like that ever scared you?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I definitely do think that it scared me. And it's part of the reason why I've waited so long to have kids, because I want to make sure that I have the right tools, that I'm in the right head space, that. That I break those generational curses because my mom didn't have a good relationship with her mom. They had a very, very rocky relationship. You know, she always would say. She also had a very toxic relationship with her mom. So I know that at the end of the day, I love my mom. I know she's human. I know we're all human, but it's my responsibility and I really feel that God sent me to this earth to break mother wound and that's a huge thing to carry. So when I bring kids into this world, I want to do it right. And I know I'm not going to be perfect, but I'm going to be there every day. I'm going to be present and I'm going to listen to them and know that at the end of the day, they're little humans that have feelings and have needs.

[Alan Heist]

What piece of advice can you give anyone watching who is currently going through a rocky relationship or has a similar situation like you?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

You are enough. Your parents lack of love does not define you. I know that you so badly want to be loved by them. I know you so badly seek their acceptance and their presence. But at the end of the day, it's not your fault. You are enough why have I asked.

[Hamster Owner]

My electrician I found on Angie.com to bury my pet hamster Nibbles in our yard for me? Because I was so moved by how carefully he buried my electrical wires, I knew I could trust him to bury my sweet Nibbles after his untimely end. Huh, Nibbles gone too soon. May he scurry in peace.

[Electrician]

Hey, sorry about your pet, but I just wire stuff.

[Hamster Owner]

Nibbles would have loved you like a.

[Angie.com Announcer]

Brother Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years Angie the one you trust to find the ones you trust Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Angie.com Narrator]

If you're tackling a home project, check out angie.com from roofing to remodels and everything in between, Angie connects you with skilled pros who do such a good job job you might trust them to do other things like pull out your tooth or be your kid's godfather. Well, don't ask them to do these things, just let them get the job done. Well Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust find a pro for your [e-mail] that's a n g I.com.

[HVAC Customer]

Why have we asked our.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Contractor we found on angie.com to be.

[HVAC Customer]

Our kid's legal guardian because he took.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Such good care when redoing our basement.

[HVAC Customer]

That we knew we could trust him.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

To care for our our kids, all.

[HVAC Customer]

Eight of them, should something happen to us.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Are you my dad now?

[Angie.com Announcer]

No, sorry. I do basements. Connecting homeowners with skilled pros for over 30 years Angie the one you trust Define the ones you trust find Pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Alan Heist]

How you were in school.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I was a little bit of everything and I went through different phases of my life. At the beginning, I was very timid, but then I turned into a very pelonera. I was fighting a lot and the people around me were fighting a lot. And I felt very defensive because, you know, I think when you go through a troubled childhood, a lot of times you act out in different ways. So at school I was fighting people that I felt like were trying to like bully me and stuff like that.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

But then me calme un poco because.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I started to experience experience bullying and life changes and things that made me not want to be so much of a pelonera and kind of calm down a little bit. And I would say that those instances of bowling and stuff really changed little viti to be a more closed door. And I remember I had this friend that I just really wanted to be friends with. You know, I wanted to encajad. I wanted to belong. I wanted to have that friendship, that relationship with someone, that connection. And no matter how much I tried, she would always push me away. She would always, when I would want to play with her and other girls would say, no, you know, you can't play with us. Leave me out certain things like that. So much to the fact that my dad always tells me I put myself as a peasant and then I put her as a princess and I put her like super high on the page and I was a peasant super low. And I took it home and my.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Dad was like, el hato estima de.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Mija es muy frajil. Yo tengo pia ser algo para to change her mindset. If someone wants to be in your life, they're going to be in your life.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Porque quier? And pero no.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

If people want to be in your life, they will show you that they want to be in your life. So he gave me the book the secret. I don't know if you've ever read it. He gave me the kids version. And I remember my little third grade brain reading through the pages and really picking up what it was saying. You know, the law of attraction, Your thoughts create your reality. Think the life that you want. I read the whole thing in desentons. I really changed my mindset to be more positive. You know, I never went back to that friend and was like, please play with me.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

No. He told me, no, la regasanadie mega es lo que yale.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I found new friends. I started to really change my mindset and think a more positive way. And I think I've told a lot of people, I've told this story story that that moment really shifted me to be the manifesto, to be the positive thinker that I am today.

[Alan Heist]

Did the bullying stop after that in sixth grade? Fuende regresso tam bien ese bullin y regreso mas fuerte estabes cuenta nos un poquito mas de esto quesado entubida en esos momentos. What were you getting bullied for? Y comunece tiempo, especially in sixth grade, super important in the development their own teenager bullying at that time.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think sometimes girl bullying can be silent and that's the most damaging thing. It's not always like the movies where they're shoving you against the locker or they're upfront telling you these things. So my experience was, you know, the gossiping, the things behind my back, the silent bullying of leaving me out, making sure that I know I'm not included in certain things. In groups, taking pictures without me, doing activities without me. But it was just more of like making it obvious that I wasn't welcome. And I remember that they made like this little burn book like mean girls where they wrote things in this book about girls that they didn't like. I was in there along with other girls and I was starting to feel like that was affecting my self esteem. So from that moment on it really closed me to friendships and it made me more timid and I really had to work hard to get out of that mind state and to surround myself with people that truly love me and that don't think in that toxic way and that remind me that I am worthy. Because in that moment I really felt like I wasn't.

[Alan Heist]

Did you ever confront any of your bullies during that time or was it something that because they were bullying you and they were making you to feel so little, you already felt so little.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I hadn't confronted them because I felt so small and I felt like it would just make the issue bigger. So I ended up just pushing it all down and continuing on. And I never really addressed it with them. I don't know if that was good or bad, but at the end of the day I never actually told them what hurt me and I don't even know if they remember that they did it. But I know that it stuck with me. I started to believe those thoughts. But that's where my self affirmations, that's where my dad's books, that's where my dad's advice, all of that comes in is reassuring to myself. Que si valgo, que si en cajo that I am love, that I am enough. So I had to do a lot of that self affirming, you know, me.

[Alan Heist]

Quiero brincar un poquito to your college years that you were going through a very hard moment during those times. Cuenta no son pogito mas de eso. What was going on in your life at the time that led to that very dark moment?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

That was a recurring pattern throughout my childhood and throughout my time with her. She would always tell me, After hearing that for so long, I started to kind of believe those thoughts for myself. Especially because it was like a recurring pattern of her not having her mom, me not having my mom, and us just continuing this generational curse. It was really tough. It got to a point where not having her in my life, going through learning how to navigate and live with Kyle for the first time in our first apartment, going through challenges that life threw at us, going through college, trying to be an adult in the world, world started to feel very heavy. My mental health took a toll. It got so bad to the point that at our first apartment, Kyle walked into the bathroom and he saw me on the floor and he saw me wanting to end it all. From that moment on, he approached it with love, he approached it with kindness. He sought out therapy for me. He helped me get on medication. He helped me get the right circle around me. Having the right circle around me has really improved my quality of life has improved, improved the way that I feel about myself, the way that I feel about life in general. Being surrounded by people that love me, that uplift me. He helped me get all of that. And from that moment on, I'm not going to say that I haven't struggled, but I have improved so much. And I'm so proud of that version of me because I know that she so badly just needed a hug.

[Alan Heist]

Was it hard, you know, going into therapy? Por quesiento con mu que Growing up, you know, I feel like a lot of people like to connect therapy with estas loco or. Or you're going through like. I feel like Hispanics don't believe in therapy. You know what I mean? Was it scary for you to be like, you know what, necessito ayuda, But I'm kind of scared. Like therapy really helped you heal.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, I think it's something that especially as like a first generation Latina with papas mexicanos, they don't talk about therapy. They never went to therapy. They never really talked about mental health. There was never anything about deprecion of that.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

It was just ponte ser alo so.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

That you don't focus on the things that you don't want in this life. So when I finally got to therapy, it was like a breath of fresh air because it's an unbiased opinion. You're with this professional that's working through these life struggles with you, giving you professional advice. And for me, she helped me see different perspectives of different people in all these different situations. So it helped me really not just be consumed with my own perspective, but try to understand it from someone else's. And it really has improved my mental health and my quality of life.

[Alan Heist]

What piece of advice would you give anyone watching right now who is currently struggling with bullying or their mental health where they feel like it might not get better for them? What's something you can tell em if.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

They'Re watching people bully you because they see something powerful in you? People would not be trying to tear you down if they didn't see you as a threat, if they didn't see you see something special in you. Just because people are ganging up against you doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. Oftentimes it means a lot of things are wrong with them. People have to gang up with other people because they feel so little, they feel so powerless, and they want to knock you down. Don't let them knock you down. Keep going. Use that fire in you. Use that special gift that God gave you to manifest, to accomplish, to get anything that you want in this life. At the end of the day, their opinions don't do anything for. For you. Their opinions don't pay your bills and keep shining because it bothers them.

[Alan Heist]

I love that. And I feel like if you guys are going through any mental health issues, amiga, seek help, whether that's a professional or a friend or your parents. I feel like talking about what you're going through and what you're feeling will really go a long way. Porque aves uno? We suppress our feelings and we don't want to deal with it or nos distremos to not think about them, but they will catch up. And I feel like it's very important to constantly, like, look forward to your healing, to constantly be doing something. And you're like, you know what? Let me put it in the back burner. No. And deal with it in that moment. Like, I'm always thinking about it because I'm very much in, like. Like, oh, my God, I'm scared therapy. Like it's very like, I think it's like the even opening up to like, like a stranger that is very scary. But it's like I feel like even now that I'm an adult, like you really do think that you suppress all your feelings and you forget things and when you least think about it all at once. So my advice, like yours, I love your advice, is really, you know, heal yourself and prioritize that because that will literally be the key to living like a very happy life. You know, Who made the first move and how would you describe the beginning of your guys relationship?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Kyle and I met in our hometown. It's a really small town to se cornosin. And I remember there was a shaving cream fight in our hometown that we have every year after school gets released and we're going into the summer. Well, I remember him telling me me that he seen me for the first time and he asked one of his friends, hey, who is that girl? And he was like, oh, that's Viti. And he gave Kyle my Facebook. And so Kyle reached out to me and we started messaging, we started going back and forth on Facebook. And then I went and disappeared for the whole summer because I always go to my mom during the summer. Then I came back and we were hanging out again with all of our friends, just being outside and everything. And he had asked me out. Well, during that time I had these two friends that I went and confided in and I was like, hey, Kyle asked me out. What do you think? Should I go out with him? Should I not? Like, give me your opinion. She was like, I'm starting the year fresh, so I think that you should start the year fresh. But I don't know, that's just my opinion. So I was like, okay, you know, cool. During that time I really just valued my friends opinions and I did whatever they told me because I didn't want to upset them. I told Kyle, I was like, I'm going to focus on myself. I'm going to start the year new. I don't really want a relationship right now. Two weeks after that they started dating because that friend asked him out. And I was like, did she just play me right now? She told me not to date him, just to turn around, ask him out. And then they started dating. And obviously this is all teenage stuff, but I felt betrayed. I was like, that's not a friend. She really tricked me out of being with this person so that she could be with him. And Kyle always told me, he's like, Hey, I was being petty because you rejected me. So I was just going to get into a relationship and date someone else.

[Alan Heist]

Did you ever confront her?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I didn't. I just moved on and acted like it didn't happen. We continued on with the school year, and then again the next year around spring break, we started hanging out again. We kind of had similar friend groups, so we were hanging out a lot during that spring break, and I told him that I liked him. Then one night, April 3, 2012, he sent me this little questionnaire that I filled out, and it spelled out, will you be my girlfriend? And since then, we started dating, and that was our date. So it's crazy to think about that. 2012, all the way to 2026. We've been together, obviously, we had breakups in between and everything. Everything. But we've really evolved and grown together, and now we've became one.

[Alan Heist]

I feel like dating as teenagers, I miss. As it gets messy, it becomes too much. What do you feel like was the hardest phase that you both had to mature out of, to be able to, like, continue this relationship has transpired into, like, what it is now.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, I think for the longest time, middle school school was just puppy love. You know, we were just in love. We were holding hands, we were going to the movies. We were just doing little innocent things together. But then we got to high school, and that's where the test really started. Coming towards the end of high school, there was these two girls in particular that made it their whole purpose to try to separate us. You know, they made up rumors, they made up lies. And unfortunately, the rumors and the lies got to us, and we ended up breaking up. We then started this cycle of breaking up, getting back together, breaking up, getting back together, and pushing and pulling each other away, talking to other people while we were broken up to try to make the other person jealous. And it was this very toxic mindset that we both were in. It wasn't until, you know, we finally hit this point when I was 19, 20, we got back together for good. We started to learn how to communicate. We started to. To learn the things that we both needed, how to fulfill each other's needs emotionally and in every aspect. That moment really helped us flourish into the mature, healthy relationship that we have today.

[Alan Heist]

What do you feel like you've learned about, you know, relationship boundaries and conflict, you know, being with him?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Well, we both grew up in very toxic households. He grew up not knowing how healthy fighting was. Like, I grew up not knowing how healthy fighting was. Like, there was a lot of things and a lot of heated arguments that ended up escalating more than they needed to, that we ended up observing. And so together, we didn't know how to argue. We didn't know how to communicate. We had to learn that on our own, you know, to the extreme. But we have learned how to communicate more respectfully, how to get the point across without pointing fingers or being aggressive or disrespectful to the other person, and learning how to listen. Listen to understand instead of listen to answer.

[Alan Heist]

Did you guys move in prior to getting married?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yes.

[Alan Heist]

How was that? How is that moving in together? As soon as you move in with someone, you really get to, like, see como sons limpios. How was it like at the beginning of moving in together? Were you, like, shocked? Like, I know.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

That was actually the beginning of the. Of us turning that toxicity into a healthy relationship. And I think it really helped us because we got to see how each other lives, how each other functions. Because when you live with someone, you see every single side of them, so there's nothing that you really can hide. And it helped us kind of work through that. And I think I'm very grateful that we did it the way that we did, because once we reached the stage of wanting to get married, we felt more prepared, we felt more mature to act, actually step into that marriage healthily.

[Alan Heist]

What are steps or tips that you felt like worked for you guys, that you might feel like might work for anyone watching?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

What really has helped us is just sitting down and letting the other person express themselves without interrupting, without, like, how I keep saying listen to understand.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Because alinal de cuentas somos dos cabezas differentes.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

We're two different brains. We think completely different. We both have different, different needs. And if we can't voice that, we're not going to know what the other person needs. We're not mind readers. And that's what I had to learn, is how is he going to know what I need if I'm not voicing what I need? And how am I going to know what he needs if he's not voicing it? So my biggest tip and recommendation is just having good communication, understanding, patience, to be able to work through the things that you both need.

[Alan Heist]

What moment did you realize, like, you know what? Like, I really love this man, my future husband. Did you have a moment where it all clicked? Like, you know what? Like, I think we're ready to, like, be husband and wife.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

You know, I had that moment very early on because I always had that feeling of que no en cajava que no. I didn't belong anywhere. But when I met him, he just felt like home. From the moment that I was 13 all the way on, he has seen every single side of me. He's never judged me for any one of those sides. He's been my biggest supporter. And when I'm with him, I simply feel like home. And I think growing together, getting to see every phase of him, getting to accomplish different things together, has really strengthened our relationship and now our marriage. But I knew very early on I don't want this person to go anywhere. I used to write him letters and put Viridiana Daniels because I was manifesting being his wife one day. And it's crazy to see the date on those letters is 2012 all the way to, like, 2018 type thing. Because now I am Viana Daniels. And I knew very early on I want to be this man's wife. I want to create a life with him. I didn't belong in a conventional home with a conventional family, but I do belong with you, and I want to create that complete family with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to raise kids with you and create the environment that both of us were lacking when we were younger.

[Alan Heist]

I love that. How did he ask, how did he propose to you? What was going on in your head? Was it something like, I know, yo, he's not sneaky enough? Like, I can already see the question coming in a minute. What was the whole proposal like?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

So actually, it's funny because we had both gone to Cancun in 2016. I did my senior pictures out there. My dad had planned a whole trip for us, and Kyle and I. That was the first time that we had gone out of the country together. It was his first time in general, out of the country. And we both fell into in love.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

With Las Playas de Cancun.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

So we had planned his birthday trip in 2023. We went to Cancun all over again. I didn't suspect anything because we always do birthday trips. We like to go out of the country, out of the state to do.

[Alan Heist]

You were just in Japan, right? Yes. Okay, so it was, like, normal for you guys.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Exactly, yes. And so we were going back there, but he ended up telling me that he chose this place because it was the first place that we had ever gone to to get together out of the country. And it was very significant to us. Well, one of the nights there was the day before his birthday. He was like, hey, I have a picnic on the beach. I Want to do this with you, you know, he's always been very romantic, so it's like, I'm used to his romantic gestures. I don't really question them. He's just normalized it. So I was like, okay, I always have my nails done when we go on vacation. I have everything. So it was literally perfect. When we were walking down there, he had letras on the beach that said, marry me. And then he had the photographer. There was people out there that were, like, clapping and cheering. And once I noticed, I was like. I looked at him, and I was like, is this really happening? And he's like, are you ready? Once he said, are you ready? I just started chillona crying, bawling, just, like, replaying every moment for. From our teenage years all the way to that present moment. And then we got to the photographer. He walked me all the way down to Las letras, got in his one knee, and when he got on his knee, I swear I seen, like, every version of him since he was 14, all the way to the man that he was on that knee. And it was just so meaningful and significant to me because he tailored it to be special to us. There were people that were like, well, why didn't he do it in, like, I don't know, like, the Maldives or something? I'm like, we don't need to complacer.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

A los de mas.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

It needs to just be meaningful to us. And that's why I value our marriage, our matrimony so much, is because we don't do things to appease other people. We do it to be meaningful to us. And so in that moment, I just felt so complete and so thankful to God that finally I was able to get that wish of spending the rest of my life with him.

[Alan Heist]

So pongo that the planning was crazy. So what was planning your wedding like? What was your wedding day like? What were you feeling? Were you excited? Were you nervous? Were you like, oh, my God, I got this. Did everything go as planned? Did anything go wrong?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, it actually was a very smooth planning process because Kyle's just a go with the flow type of person. And he told me from very early on, I want to embrace your culture. He loves our culture.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

La cultura mexicana. Las tradiciones mexicanas porcino lombisto.

[Shopify Advertiser]

He is.

[Alan Heist]

Was that, like, the culture stuff, like, different for you guys because he's white and you're Mexican? How was that?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yeah, he very early on was like, I want to do your traditions. I didn't grow up with traditions, so I Want to make sure that you have all the traditions that you grew up with and that I get to embrace them and bring my family to embrace them too. So that's exactly what we did. Because he's known very early on. I've told a lot of people he was my main chamber. So he practiced all the entire vals with me. El sorpres fiesa he was there for. And then we ended up actually planning and getting married in the same venue that we had. Me quinceanera. And, you know, it was. He said he wanted it to be exactly like how the quinceanera was, because he knows that's what makes me happy. He knows that I love dancing.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

He knows that I love la vibara de la mar. I love el vale del viet muchas cosa lacient.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

He was just very open and so was his family to making sure that we meet all of our traditions.

[Alan Heist]

Did anything go wrong at the wedding? And then you think back and you're like, por que me estrese? The show must go on. Because I feel like at every big party. But then you get to a point where, like, I'm going to enjoy my day. Did anything, like, small go wrong that you almost let it ruin the day?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

You know, it was something actually that I just referred to, Refused to let affect me that day.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

But the grupo que contratamos, literally the.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Day before, canceled on us. They ended up sending a backup group that we didn't really know anything about. I ended up just accepting my fate and saying, you know, that's what it is. We're gonna still dance all night. We're still gonna have fun. And, yeah, they were different than the groupo que contratamos. I was bummed because we had signed the contract and everything. Everything, like, a year in advance. And then that ended up happening. But Kyle and I told each other. We sat each other down, and we were like, we're not going to let anything affect us so badly that we end up ruining our wedding day. We're going to focus more on the ceremony, the catholic wedding part, instead of everything else.

[Alan Heist]

Instead of the entertainment. Yeah.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And just be happy with the fact that we're coming together as one in the eyes of God.

[Alan Heist]

I love that because I would have crashed out if the music. I'm like, no, cuz that's like. I mean, not the most important thing, but in terms of, like, the celebration part, like the party part, like la com las importante. But I'm glad you didn't let that kind of, like, ruin the night for You. I kind of want to go a little bit back. You know, mestavas contando tamina year that, you know, before you went, no contact with your mom and she didn't show up. Did that affect you too? Like, on your wedding day, did you think about it, like, oh, damn, like, I really wish she was here, or was it something that you had had already made peace with?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think I partially made peace with it, but in the back of my mind, I was like, there's that 1% chance that she may show up. So I was just kind of holding on to that. It wasn't a zero percent chance in my mind, but at the end of the day, I made peace with it. And I knew that, given the record, she didn't show up to my high school graduation. She didn't show up to my college graduation. You know, she's never seen any of the houses that Kyle and I, I have purchased or any of the accomplishments that we've gone through together. So I was like, what's going to be different this time? But I held on to that hope. But at the end of the day, I also made peace with the fact that it may not happen. And thankfully, I've also expressed that I have a very loving swagra that took on that mother role. She was there with me getting ready in the morning. She helped me put las hapatillas along with Mikunyada, which is Kyle's sister, who also takes a very big role as, like, a big sister to me. Even though I didn't have my mom, I still had people that God sent me to fill that role, and they.

[Alan Heist]

Were very happy, Literally. Amor no falto e sevilla. What was it like after getting married? You guys were already living together at the time time, but now you guys were officially, you know, Mr. And Mrs. Daniels. Did anything change afterwards? Like, did it just become more official? Do you feel like it also cemented it, like a wow, like, we're officially married? Like, wow. Like, we're a couple in los de Diogo Bierno. What changed or what didn't change after marriage?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

We were always told throughout the marriage classes at our church that once you get married under the eyes of the God, you're going to see that God opens you up to a lot of blessings. We ended up seeing that, and, you know, that's our belief. I know some people believe other things, but I really do believe that once we became one under his eyes and we got his blessing, he ended up opening so many doors for us individually, but also us as A couple. And that was very powerful to see.

[Alan Heist]

I love that because you guys do. Online people love the relationship you guys have. Give us a piece of advice, you know, for anyone watching that maybe is has a similar relationship. Like you guys that maybe started dating very young, have gone through like the rough patches, but now you guys are here. What piece of advice can you give anyone who has a similar relationship journey as you guys?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

If you really want it to work, you gotta realize that relationships aren't always a give, give, give or a take, take, take. It's a give and take situation. And, you know, a lot of times I think we make the mistake of just focusing on, well, I need this and I need that and I need you to do this for me. But what can we do to also make that person's life better? We got to be selfless in a marriage, in a relationship. So if you can get to that point of focusing on how you can both make each other's life better, that's where you're going to see the success.

[Alan Heist]

All over social media. But it wasn't always that way. What got you into content creating? What were you doing before you were like, you know what? And what were the early content creating days for you?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

It's funny because TikTok just started as something fun for Kyle and I back in 2021. We ended up, I think it was like our third video that we had ever uploaded. We did one dancing to a Mexican song. And that video ended up going super viral for us. And we had gained like 10,000 subscribers with just that video. And we were like, oh, you know, we weren't expecting that, but it was just fun to us because we love dancing, we love doing all of that stuff. But then there were a bunch of comments and there was a comment that we made a video answering that comment and it said, how does he say your name? Because my name's also Viridiana, but white people always struggle to say my name. So then he explained how he says my name. He kind of slowed it down for them and then showed that it's not really that hard. Hard. That video ended up going even more viral than the dancing one. And we were like, what is going on? You know, clearly, like, we're doing something that people like. But that's when I let La Critica, then my hometown, get to me because there was a lot of, you know, people tweeting stuff going on Twitter, saying stuff like, oh, she's a wannabe influencer, or blah, blah, blah. Just I know things that were directed at me that I ended up letting get to me. Mind you, this was in 2021. We're in 2026. I didn't start posting again until 2024 because I. I let la critica de la gente get to me. I really cared too much about what people thought about me. And it wasn't until I reached that point of las. That's when I realized I am getting in my own way because I care too much about what they think. So in 2024, we started uploading our wedding planning process, and that was just a lot of fun. We were uploading videos of practicing wedding dancing, choosing my dress, choosing the napkin holders, choosing the centerpieces, all of the.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Things with la cultura Mexicana.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And we started building a community with that of people that really were tuned in and just wanted to. To know the next thing and know the next thing. And then TikTok shut down. And, you know, we all remember that in January of last year, it shut down and I had some seguidores that emailed me and they were like, hey, TikTok shut down. I don't want to lose you. What's your Instagram? So we were like, we don't have Instagram. We need to go create other social media platforms. So we went and downloaded Instagram. Literally within, like, the first year, we grew to all almost 150,000 followers. And we're like, oh, you know, we can also build a community here. And then same on Facebook and now YouTube. We've built a good community on all of those platforms. And it happened once we stopped getting in our own way and listening to what the haters had to say.

[Alan Heist]

All this attention and all this love you received online has also healed the little girl in you that maybe felt not enough or maybe has ever felt like, oh, no one wants her, no one loves her. Do you feel like that also helped, like, build your confidence? Like, wow, like, people really do love us. They love the type of content that we produce. Do you feel like social media has helped with, like, the confidence too? Oh, yeah. I feel like you're very confident women.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Yes, it has definitely helped a lot because I feel like a lot of times I catch myself even telling Kyle, like, what people care about, what little us have to say. People care about our silly little life. And that just makes you feel good. It makes you feel good that you can upload a video. You know, for me, for instance, I upload videos talking about mental health or the stuff with my mom or just stuff that I grew up feeling. And Going through and people message me, and I get little girls that message me. They tell me, hey, I also don't have a mom. Thank you for speaking about it, because it makes me realize that I'm not alone. You know, those types of things really do heal, heal you, because you realize that you're making a positive influence in this world. And if I can do that, even just for one person, that's what I want to do.

[Alan Heist]

And I really do feel like the content you produce is making a difference because not only are you sharing your life, but you're also being a voice for our community. You know, you constantly do videos, you know, talking about what's going on in today's political climate. You're always talking about and being a voice for our community. How important is it for you to be a voice, especially during these times?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

It's so important because yo bengo de.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

Papas immigrantes pais con do tenos.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

He tried to do everything para buscarl.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

La manera de salira de lante era jardinero.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

He actually came here to Culver City. That's where he first settled in. And he was Jardinero, making $20 a day, working sun up to sundown. I know the sacrifices that my parents and my family, my grandparents have all made to be here, and they're so grateful for all of the opportunities. So it's only right for me to continue to raise my voice because of the privilege that I have of being born here. Something that they don't have, something that a lot of families don't have. They live in fear. So if I can use the platform that I have to continue to advocate for them, even if it comes with a lot of hate, I'm going to do that. Because at the end of the day, the haters don't stop all anything. And I'm going to stand behind my people.

[Alan Heist]

I love that because I really do feel special right now with everything that's going on. Amigas, I feel like it is very important to have, you know, voices of people that aren't scared. I haven't talked about this, but, you know, even me, you know, yo tengo of being daka. But even maybe this month, you know, I've been super kind of scared a little bit. Not even to talk about what's going on, but just kind of to be a voice when I to myself need a voice, you know, because I was talking to my boyfriend a couple days ago. Medicuenta que midaka expires this year. It expires, I think In June or July. The 7th? What is the 7th? Is that June or july? And you know, prior to that I was posting, reposting and like, you know, being a voice as well. And you know, when I realized that my daca was is like, you know, expiring. I know. Especially after hearing the government, you know, say that, like, if you're going against, they have your social medias and if you're going against, like the current administration, like estas como non problemita, you know what I mean? And that's something that I think about now. Like, it's scary being a voice, even when yourself, you need that voice, you know what I mean? Because to me, orita mi pensamento is a keta for the next two years. And when they're reviewing my social medias, my documents, I've been against the government. So I'm glad that you're so brave to be like, you know what? Like, I'm gonna use my voice for the people that you guys don't know that I'm gonna stop being the voice voice. See, being a little bit more silent, you know, it's scary and I feel like. Too, where I'm just like, oh my God, like, it's really scary out there that you're being that voice and you're allowing our voice to be amplified of being that voice.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think, you know, being a strong voice a lot of times comes with a lot of support, but it also comes with a lot of attack.

[Alan Heist]

Yeah.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

And that's been my experience. But at the end of the day, I do it for the people that are scared. I do it for people like you. I do it for people like our families, our co workers, our friends, people that we grew up with that don't have that privilege of not being scared right now. I know it's even scary scary for just a typical U. S. Citizen. I know that there's a lot of miedo going on right now, but if I can use my voice to amplify what's going on, I'm going to do it. I'm not scared of getting in the battlefield for my people. I'm not scared of losing anything. Because at the end of the day, I know that they sacrificed so much for me to be here, and I'm going to do everything in my power to give back to them.

[Alan Heist]

I love it. What piece of advice can you give anyone watching that is currently living in fear, that is currently fearing for their life, their safety, for the safety of their families with everything going on in this world?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Be strong I know these are scary times. I know they're uncertain times. I know that with the media. I know that what certain hateful people say may make you feel like you or your family are not worthy of being here. You are just as worthy of being here as anybody else. You make this country great, you make this world great. Your legal status, the color of your skin, your life, language, all of that, none of that matters. None of that defines you, none of that adds or declines your value. You alone are worthy. And you have people like myself and others that are going to do everything they can to advocate for you.

[Alan Heist]

I love that. I know it is very scary times, you know, and it is very scary with going on in the world. But just know and just continue doing things out of love. I fear a little bit with my situation, especially because Esteano, I'm taking a lot of flights, right? I'm traveling a lot, though. I. A little. A little part of me is scared. A little part of me is like the what ifs. Because, you know, you have family members, right? One of the things that I always like to say, I'm like, you know what? You know what I mean? To the full potential because of what's going on. You know what I mean? Like, we just have to push through. And if any of you guys are going through it, if any of you guys are affected, just know. And thank you so much, you know, for being that voice, you know, you want to keep making sure that, you know, you keep being a voice, not just once, but all the time. La conversation del dia de hoy about social media. What do you feel like are the pros and cons of social media?

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I think the pros is the fact that you can pick up that phone device, record yourself, post it, and you reach someone halfway across the world. You can use that for good, you can use that for bad, you can use that however you want, but that's a pro. You can impact people all over the country, all over the world, just by the simple fact that you have a phone, you have a device you can record, you can send that message out there. But with that, there's also cons, because you can impact people. You can have a positive influence on people. But no matter what you do, my dad's always told me. You can say the color red is the most pretty color in the world. And there's going to be people that agree with you, and then there's going to be people, people that say, no, you're dumb. The best color in the world is pink. It doesn't matter what the situation is, there's always going to be people. And Ton says that is a con.

[Viridiana's Spanish-speaking family member]

But at the end of the day.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

You can look at it as a positive because if you don't let them affect you and you use that as currency and you use that to keep pushing through, you're going to see a way to success.

[Alan Heist]

Ethiopian. So that you're the prime example of, you know, that being. Because nos commentas, you know, you stop doing social medias because of las cricas destas personitas in your hometown. You stop doing it. But then you're like, you know what? I'm gonna pick up my phone and continue doing what I'm doing. And look at you now. Whether it's content creating, whether it's your career that people maybe don't agree with or the path you're taking, taking. Don't let anyone criticize you to the point where you stop wanting to do what you love. You know, primas primos that don't believe in your dreams, but the best way to shut them up is not to give them the same energy accomplishing your dreams. You know what? I've seen the, the tick tocks. You know, you mentioned that people would make fun of you like, oh, influencer, influencer, influencer, right. Like, it really is like, oh, like, How do you feel now that you really are living your dream, especially after potentially this could have not been your life if you really wouldn't have picked up the camera again.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I feel so thankful to God, honestly, every day. Day. I'm just thankful to him because I really think that whatever your dream is, he's going to instill that in your heart. You're going to feel it, you're going to know. I graduated college, I was doing the 9 to 5 job. I wasn't fulfilled, that's for certain people. But I knew that I wanted more in this life. I knew that I wanted to see more, to network, to talk to people like you and other fellow Latinos that are also very powerful in making a difference in the this world. And now, because I stopped letting the hate get to me and because I stopped caring about what they had to say, I'm sitting here in this room with you, a very powerful person that helps Latinos amplify their voices, you help Latinos tell their story, be vulnerable with you, and you open them with open arms, you know, so I'm very grateful that I didn't let the hate, I didn't let the criticism get to me because I wouldn't be in these spaces with powerful people that I am inspired by so much. At the end of the day, the people that criticize you, that criticize me, that criticize anybody, look at them. Do they have what you want? Do they have the life that you want? Are they walking the path that you want? If the answer is no, why do you care about what they have to say?

[Alan Heist]

Clock conversation that we've had, you know, Relationship wise, career wise, family wise.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

I see myself taking a lot of risks. I see myself becoming a mom. I really do see myself building a family with my husband and creating the family and environment that we've both always wanted. I see myself growing continuously in my career, taking risks. But at the end of the day, it builds character. I'm gonna keep seeking rejection, I'm going to keep making myself uncomfortable and I'm going to keep making myself proud no matter what it is, because it's not in my blood to do so.

[Alan Heist]

And I know every single one of those metas, goals or obstacles. I really do feel like you're a very strong women. Your stories, Personas that were able to resonate with you and were able to see themselves in you. And follow her down below. I will leave all her social medias on the screen as well as down below. Make sure you guys do so you guys guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much for being here.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Thank you so much for having me, Alan. I truly appreciate it.

[Alan Heist]

And thank you guys so much for watching and we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye guys. Yay. You did so.

[Electrician]

Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero, Ultra. That's the og. It kicked off off this whole Zero Sugar energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the White can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe. And every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.

[Alan Heist]

How many discounts does USAA Auto Insurance offer? Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount, New vehicle discount.

[Viridiana Hernandez]

Storage discount.

[HVAC Customer]

How many discounts will you stack up? Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts restrictions apply.

[LifeLock Advertiser]

It's tax season and at LifeLock we know you're tired of numbers, but here's a big one you need to hear. Billions. That's the amount of money in refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number. 100 million. That's how much many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed. One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for the threats you can't control. Terms apply.