← Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
Noche de Pendejadas with Alannized
YurnBro Talks All: Brother & Mom’s Passing, Grief, Streaming, Relationship, CHISME & MORE!
01:11:38
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- [00:01]
A
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Close your eyes, exhale, Feel your body
- [00:32]
B
relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.
- [00:36]
A
Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts
- [00:39]
B
in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry.
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A
I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order.
- [00:51]
B
Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. It's a guy. I'm like, hello, it's an officer. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, what? I was like, yo, is this no na's brother? And I'm like, yeah. They just tell me like that my mom passed away.
- [01:29]
A
What is up, everyone? I'm your host, Alan Ice, and this is Noche de Pendejadas, your favorite podcast turn talk show. And on the yo trigo atus en funchos favoritos paraplaticar y P.O. s. So with that being said, please help me welcome my guest tonight. No.
- [01:53]
B
Let's go. So excited.
- [02:00]
A
This has been a long time in the making.
- [02:02]
B
Thank you for having me. I appreciate.
- [02:10]
A
I'm really excited. I've seen you all over my for you page. I feel like with my podcast, I feel like we can really get into it where it's like, yeah, they see you online. They see you on the live streams, on the clips.
- [02:37]
B
Yeah. I was reading your questions before this and I was like, okay, this is going to get serious.
- [02:40]
A
Yeah. You're like, we're going to get in deep, you guys. And a lot of good topics that we have planned for you guys today. For anyone watching at home, my name is no.
- [02:58]
B
AKA urine, bro. I am 27 years old. I am going to be 28 in May 18th. I was born in El Paso, Texas, the city of the 915. And then we moved to California when we were 14. So we went to Carlsbad High. And then from there I decided to pursue my college career and I played soccer there. And then after Soccer. I kept jumping around to a lot of cities, played professional indoor. I do the social media thing now.
- [03:24]
A
We're gonna get all into that. I've been seeing you a lot out and about lately.
- [03:30]
B
What do you mean? What do you mean I've been seeing?
- [03:32]
A
I mean, you were in. Where were you recently? You were traveling out of the country. You were what? Puerto Rico?
- [03:37]
B
No, doctor.
- [03:38]
A
The doctor. The doctor Trip plan.
- [03:41]
B
Puerto Rico.
- [03:45]
A
What has the last week been like for you?
- [03:47]
B
There's been a lot of clips. There's been a lot of misconceptions because of, like, how we go about the clips. You know, like, it's stuff that we do on purpose so people can get agitated or like a reaction. Yeah. So we can get a reaction out of it. Like we do stuff on purpose. But it's because honestly, in this generation now, like, there's a lot of people that like negativity.
- [04:08]
A
Yeah.
- [04:08]
B
So like, that's the only way to go about it on the Internet is go negative. So then you can make a positive. But before I did social media, like, I was never like that person to be like, oh, let me go comment on this person's tag or something or post so we can just hate on them. Like, to me, it's crazy how people take time out of their life to just hate on you or even make
- [04:28]
A
negative ass clips, you guys, because I've been seeing so many clips or just in general, I feel like the clipping community is so crazy. Like there could be a video.
- [04:36]
B
That's what clipping is.
- [04:37]
A
Yeah, that's. But I think that's a good thing at the end of the day, Creator, because it's very much like, you know what?
- [04:46]
B
Publicity is good publicity.
- [04:47]
A
All publicity is good publicity. And we're gonna get into all of that later on in today's interview. So we're gonna go ahead and start with your childhood. How was Noe growing up? Where did you grew up in? What was your life growing up like?
- [05:09]
B
I mean, a lot of people, they see me now and they would think I was a troublemaker. You know, they think I was the kid that never listened. They think I was, you know, that kid that you would think like the Travieso. Exactly. But I was the opposite. Like, now you could say I'm the travies. So, you know, but back then, like, I was the kid that my brothers and sisters would be like, hey, go ask mom, because she will let you.
- [05:33]
A
Oh, okay. I'm kind of like the favorite.
- [05:35]
B
Yeah, you can say that. But like, there was no Favorite when it comes to a mom loving their kids, you know, but you could say that they would always be like, yo, no way. Go tell mom, and then she'll say yes to you. We grew up only guys first before we got our sister. So, like, I'm. There was not much like that. Our mom told us, like, yo, you can't do this. You can't do that. She would just inform us, like, the pros and cons about the stuff. We didn't even have to ask her, like, to do certain things. Like, when we were older, of course, like, probably after 13, I get to just tell her what I'm doing instead of asking her. In a sense, which is a little different from a lot of parents.
- [06:10]
A
Yeah.
- [06:10]
B
But, like, I only grew up with the mom, so, like, there was a lot of, like, transparency. Like, I told my mom everything.
- [06:17]
A
So you were more. Very much like, what was that like growing up with the single mom? Growing up, like, did you ever see your mom struggle to make ends meet?
- [06:30]
B
That's, like, one of the main things. Like, we never saw her struggle. She never showed us, like, her weak links, you know? Like, she never gave us the time of day that she. There was something wrong. Like, there was. Like, there was never something wrong.
- [06:45]
A
Like, she was good at hiding it or, like, she was good at hiding
- [06:48]
B
it, but at the same time, she was good at, like, hand control, making it happen. Like, she was like, the gold doer. Like, I'm gonna make it happen, and I'm gonna, you know, like, some way somehow. It was crazy. Like, I don't know. It was weird. It was weird. But she did it with four kids.
- [07:04]
A
What made you guys move from Texas to California?
- [07:07]
B
Mom? Just, like, because when you live in another city for some reason, like, you watch movies and you're like, Hollywood, you know, California. So, like, when we were little, bro, dead ass, she got a U haul and she told us, yo, we're going to California. Like, I'm. I want you guys to have a better life. And then we just moved. Growing up, we moved a lot. Like, every year we went to a different school. So it was always the new kids in town or the new kids in the school. So, like, to us, like, when our mom said something, it was never like, why? How? It was just like, okay, you're like,
- [07:38]
A
all right, I guess we're going to California.
- [07:40]
B
Whatever my mom said, it went.
- [07:44]
A
You guys stayed in California the rest of your day life?
- [07:46]
B
No. So, yeah, they moved to Houston. Okay, but. And then they moved back to Cali. But then I Moved without them because I had to go to college.
- [07:54]
A
Do you feel like that affected you in any way growing up? Not having the stability of like, you know what, like I'm in my school year. Did that kind of affect you in any way?
- [08:08]
B
When I was younger, yeah, but yeah, like doing it too much, it's like becomes a new normal, you know, like it's so weird, like we did so many things repetitive that it became normal for us. We wouldn't think going into the year like, yo, we're going to move. So like I'm not going to be friends with them. Like that wasn't the case. Like we would, I would still act like we were staying there because I never thought about moving again. But then we would and then we would and it was just like a repetitive thing.
- [08:34]
A
Did you ever have like a moment after all the times that you're like, yeah, mom, yeah. No yaki. Ok. That, yeah. Where you're just like, you know what is we're leaving.
- [08:44]
B
Never. Like when it comes to packing, we pack. I was young, like I. All I cared about is playing soccer, to be honest.
- [08:50]
A
How did that love for soccer porque mestavas contando ayer cuando platicamos or the day before that, that you were a very sport driven kid growing up. How did that love for soccer and sports started out? Y como sientes como que eso tayuda?
- [09:05]
B
It was like a thing. My mom put us in sports, every sport, like we did all types of sports growing up because I feel like my mom did that on purpose so we can stay active, of course, and then use it as a daycare because I mean she had too many kids and like we were all two years apart. So everybody would be in a different park, you know, like it was never where like, oh, we're all three going to the same park. So she had to drop someone off, a coach had to pick someone up and she had to take someone and bounce around.
- [09:31]
A
So what was your favorite sport growing up?
- [09:33]
B
I did soccer.
- [09:34]
A
I feel like you still do soccer, right? Why do you feel like that sport specifically was something that you're like, you know what, like the tolos pinches sports that I've try it out. I really, with this one it just comes easy.
- [09:44]
B
I'll call anybody out.
- [09:45]
A
Was that like something you wanted to do like professionally at any point?
- [09:48]
B
I played professional indoor, but then the team that I played with, like they did me dirty and this was this year. So like I was supposed I had a two year contract and then the team did Me dirty. And the fact that I signed for two years, and then they said, I'm. We're gonna trade you. But then they waited for the deadline, and then they said, no one wants you. So they didn't trade me. Their roster was full, so then I couldn't be on a team. So then I have to, like, set out the year that I was supposed to play. So, like, I'm gonna get to you.
- [10:13]
A
How did that make you feel? You know, this is something that you've always have worked your life for. This is something. You have this, like, vision of yourself playing professionally. How do you feel like you felt in that moment when you, like, were told, like, you know what? No one wants you?
- [10:29]
B
Yeah. I mean, I feel like everything in my life has prepared me for things like that, you know, because it didn't really, like, phase me. You know, I'm a firm believer, like, God doesn't put people in situations they can't handle. Anything that happens is for a reason. It doesn't, like. I don't know. It doesn't phase me. Nothing.
- [10:45]
A
So when they told you, like, y' all will regret not choosing.
- [10:48]
B
No, the thing. Yeah, exactly that, like, you're going to regret not choosing me. You're going to see me more often. Like, it's going to be your fault. Like, you could have sold more tickets because of me.
- [10:56]
A
Do you feel like now that you're doing social media, so active, like, have any of, like, maybe the coaches or, like, people on the team have been like, oh, my God, we kind of fucked up? Or has that not been, like, something you've heard?
- [11:06]
B
I don't really talk to anyone like that, but I for sure know they've seen.
- [11:09]
A
Quiero plato poquito. The absence of your dad growing up, was he always never in the picture? If so, when did you realize, like, oh, you know what? Like, I don't have my dad growing up. Was the reason for your dad being absent growing up?
- [11:31]
B
Damn. Well, there was never, like, a time where I was like, damn, I don't have a father. You know? And I never even questioned it either. Like, for some reason, like, when it came to. With my mom, there was no questions, There was no buts or whatever. It was just like. Like, whatever I say is gonna go. I never asked. I never asked even to this day. Like, I have brothers from that side. I have sisters from that side, and they seen me before.
- [11:52]
A
And you've met your dad before?
- [11:53]
B
I think I did, but then they made it. I don't know. Dude, there's so Much like, they're like, oh, this is like a friend. But I think. But I was young, you know, I was like 2 years old, I think. But, like, there's no 2, 3, 4 years old. I don't know.
- [12:07]
A
Growing up, you never had the curiosity of, like, you know what? Like, especially when I feel like you get older, you see your friends and you're like, you know, like, almost all my friends have their mom and dad. You never had, like, you know, that, like, question of, like, where's my dad? Like, why don't I have a dad? Why did my dad leave me? Especially because siblings from that side, now
- [12:30]
B
that I'm older, I do question that. But when I was younger, like I said, like, things were just so, like, set in stone. Like, how our life was because our. Of our mom, how she, like, raised us. Now that I'm older, like. Like, I think about it because I do wonder how it would. It would, like, shape me, you know, Because I definitely would have been a different person.
- [12:50]
A
Yeah.
- [12:51]
B
If there was someone telling me, like, yo, like, this is what you need to do. Like, advice. I feel like that's the difference. When it comes for having a father figure, they tell you other stuff that the mom doesn't really tell you. No. Like, I grew up knowing stuff about girls, like, their period and stuff like that. Like, mood swings and like. Like all that. I don't ever, like, think, like, damn, like, what if I had a dad?
- [13:12]
A
Yeah.
- [13:13]
B
Because I was just so normal to me not to have one, you know? Like, we grew up not seeing no guy. It's crazy. It's crazy.
- [13:21]
A
We're like, why do you have a dad? And I mean, you never even, ever, ever.
- [13:25]
B
The only time I. It would, like, make me tweak out is when, like, they'll say something like, I'll. My dad, you know, or like, I hate my dad. I'm like, bruh, like, what?
- [13:34]
A
I don't even got. It's crazy. So if your dad would have come into your life, like, now, because your dad thought, yeah, right.
- [13:39]
B
No, O.
- [13:40]
A
Not alive anymore. Oh. Like, do you remember how you found out that he wasn't alive anymore?
- [13:44]
B
I mean, they just told us, but we were like. I was like, okay, all right. No, at all.
- [13:51]
A
Oh.
- [13:52]
B
Because I meant I've never met the guy, so I never grew feelings for the guy. I don't know. It's weird.
- [13:58]
A
How do you feel not having your dad in your life growing up? How do you feel like that shifted your relationship with your mom? Do you feel like you were closer to your mom because you didn't have that father figure. And do you feel like your mom had to play both roles?
- [14:11]
B
I mean, we were really close. Like, me and my mom were so close. Like, it got to the point where as I got older, it got better, you know, because, like, we were able to go out. Like, she was the first person to take me out to. So I went to Vegas for my birthday, my 21st birthday.
- [14:24]
A
With your mom?
- [14:25]
B
With my mom. And I never had drank before. And then we got, like, the biggest Fat Tuesday. It was, like, 21 shots. And, like, it took me, like, eight hours to drink it. So in the morning, like, I woke up, crudo, like, agua carrier toa la cama. And then my mom's like, like. And I'm like, bro, what? You're like, that's what she's like, we're going to the pool. It was like 9am I was like, bro, you're tripping.
- [14:48]
A
No, I feel like that's how you have to do Vegas, though. I'm going to Vegas this month, and I cannot. I'm already planning out. Like, Okay. I know how it's. Are you excited for that?
- [15:01]
B
I'm very excited.
- [15:02]
A
When do you guys leave?
- [15:03]
B
The 20th.
- [15:04]
A
Oh, so. Yes. Oh, you know, that's the same day we leave to Vegas.
- [15:07]
B
Yeah.
- [15:11]
A
Pr y. What are things that you remember that you would do with your mom? Or what are memories you still remember very fondly of your mom growing up?
- [15:19]
B
The main ones I remember is when we would go play soccer. I would play soccer, and I would be so mad because she would be the loudest person. Like, she would be so loud.
- [15:27]
A
She embarrassed you, bro.
- [15:29]
B
And she would get mad at me, and I'm like, please, mom, don't yell. Like, I get it. Like, because I was one of the best players on the team, so I would do a lot of. And then when she would yell, like, me, tarantava poquito, you know, And I'm like, bro, like, you yelling way too much. But she would get mad at me. She'll be like, bro, I'm just supporting you. And I was just like, not too loud.
- [15:46]
A
Now that you think about it, you're like, oh, that's actually really nice that she did that. Like, I feel like we think of things too much and we don't realize. Like, you know what? It's not that serious. Like, you know, maybe at the time you were getting embarrassed because you're like, mom, shut up. Like, my friends are here. Like, you're being too much. You're being extra. But now that you think about it, you're like, what the hell? Like, my mom was being so supportive,
- [16:07]
B
but back then, too, they were like, would fight.
- [16:09]
A
Like, the moms.
- [16:10]
B
The moms, bro, did your mom ever
- [16:12]
A
get in a fight with someone else? Your kid sucks.
- [16:17]
B
Our team had the moms that would talk, okay? Because we was good. So, like, they wouldn't care. They would talk before they even talk because we could, like, back it up.
- [16:25]
A
Your mom was probably that mom that was sitting next to, like, the mom of the other kids, and she's like, like, that's my son, girl. That's cool. Do you feel like soccer and just sports in general really made you guys closer growing up?
- [16:41]
B
Yeah, we. We even did karate together. Like, all of us. Like, even my mom. Like, did you get, like, black belt? The thing with my mom, she wouldn't let us go up in belt if we had bad grades, if we didn't have B. Like, we was getting it for sure. But she would also, like, motivate us. She'll be like, if you get a B plus, I'll give you 10 bucks if you get a B. So it was like, rewards. Yeah, for sure.
- [17:02]
A
So that kind of kept you motivated. Like, you know what? I got a ponerment. You know, I want to go a little bit to, like, your dad, you know? How do you feel like growing up without your father figuring your life shaped the man you were? Growing up in rtd, do you feel like it affected the way you approach relationship, friendships, or even just trust?
- [17:21]
B
Not really. I feel like it helped me be more, like, visualize, you know, I'm more of like, cuando dicen esta sento menos and misa, like, that's me.
- [17:30]
A
Okay.
- [17:30]
B
And like, I'm all ears, all eyes. So, like, growing up, I saw a lot of guys, you know? Like, I would be like, because growing up, they would tell us, drugs, money, and women. Nah, like, you don't want that. You know? Like, my mom would always blame my uncle and be like, yo, like, look at your uncle. He has to go to the military because he has a kid. Yeah. And he's 16.
- [17:50]
A
Oh.
- [17:50]
B
So, like, watch out. And all that has to do with drugs, money, and women in our head. Me, I was scared of women even till this day. Women scare me. But I don't even know what I was getting at with this, how it affected you. I would see people, other guys, you know, and my mom would be like, yo, like. Like, look at what I'm about to do. Don't let A girl treat you this certain way, you know, it was more of like, what can the girl do to a guy? So don't fall for it.
- [18:15]
A
Do you feel like because you got that POV as you got older, you're like, you know what? My mom was doing that too. I know some girls be like, thinking the same way.
- [18:23]
B
You were gonna pull that one on me,
- [18:26]
A
literally. So you feel like maybe like, having that POV of your mom kind of also made you, like, maybe understand women more as you got older.
- [18:33]
B
Understand women more and more. Also as a guide to help the women. Because it's like someone telling me what a girl wants, like, daily. Yeah, on the daily. Like, if my mom was on her period, we were going through it. Like, we would have to do whatever my mom said all the time, which
- [18:50]
A
I feel like is a positive thing, because I feel like, if anything, it made you grow up. Not very, like, machista. Did your mom ever, like, re. Get with someone or remarry?
- [18:57]
B
Never.
- [18:58]
A
She just was, like, dating where you saw her going, like, with men, and she would tell you about it.
- [19:02]
B
We never. No, we never. She was good at that. Not. Yeah, not us seeing the men, but,
- [19:07]
A
like, when she would tell you guys about, like, mira, yo. Yes. Like, I'm gonna do this, so you better not let girls do that to you. Like. Yeah, so she would kind of like,
- [19:17]
B
yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was more like when we, like. Let's say we went to a concert. Like, one time I went to a concert with her. Like, I don't even know how old I was. I was probably 14, and it was like, a concert. I didn't know anything, but I know, like, two songs. And then, I kid you not, I was 14 years old. Around that age, I go out with my mom, bro, These guys are like. Like, at my mom. Because my mom is, like, beautiful cardi b. Like, I was like. I was like, mom, they're, like, barking at you. And then she's like, yeah, they do it all the time.
- [19:58]
A
I'm like, bro, like, the usual. Was that awkward for you to see growing up?
- [20:04]
B
Yeah.
- [20:04]
A
Like, damn, these men are thirsty for my mom.
- [20:08]
B
Yeah. And I mean, I was the jealous one. Like, when it came to my mom, I was like, bro, what the. These guys doing?
- [20:14]
A
What did you do in that moment?
- [20:16]
B
I would talk my. Yeah. Like, when my mom, like, we would go to restaurants, we would go to. Because we lived in El Paso, so we would go to Juarez, and then there was, like, this restaurant called Kanana's. But we would always get, like, the banda. And I would get jealous when my mom would dance with, like, random people, you know, when they do banda.
- [20:41]
A
No, that's how it was with three brothers. And then eventually you guys have your sister. Do you feel like that kind of builds you up to be that overprotective brother, not just with your mom, but with your sister as well?
- [20:52]
B
I mean, I'm not as overprotective. I tell my sister exactly how my mom would tell us. I tell my sister the same thing. So, like, don't do it. You know, like, you know the pros and cons of something. So then don't do it.
- [21:04]
A
How old is your sister now?
- [21:06]
B
20. But I've told her that since we were young because, yeah, like, my mom passed away. I want to say I don't really think about the days or anything like that, but I want to say like four years ago and then my brother, like seven or eight years ago. I've been like that with her, you know, like, like I just been to the point where. Today's video is sponsored by Cash App. Are you tired of looking at your Boeing debit card?
- [21:49]
A
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- [21:49]
B
I can personalize it, put my favorite emojis on it. I could submit it.
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A
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A
I'm Julio Vaqueiro, anchor of Noticias Telemundo. You can watch Dateline, the hit true crime series on Telemundo. And now you can listen to Dateline as a podcast. Stories of love and betrayal, of secrets revealed of the men and women who stand between evil and justice. Every twist and turn can now be heard in Spanish. With new mysteries arriving every week. Just search Dateline en Espanol wherever you get your podcasts and start listening.
- [23:34]
B
You have to have a good head over your shoulders to keep going when your life is how it is now, you know, and we're gonna get all
- [23:41]
A
into that in a little bit. And I feel like that's really good. As a brother, you know, I feel like being realistic.
- [23:46]
B
Yeah.
- [23:46]
A
Because I basically feel like Parents or even siblings. Abesis, you know, they wanna have your sibling or you want to have your. The younger people grow up almost como mundo de caramelos. Like, in a fake world, a deliberate world. And it's like, no, mi amor. Like, you're getting older, you're gonna be older. Things are gonna start happening as you get older that you gotta make sure you know the reality of.
- [24:08]
B
Like. And the thing is that she's had it like, that her whole life. Like, our life was never sunshine and rainbows. Growing up, you know, like, we had one bedroom apartment and, like, we all stayed in the same room. Like, we made it work, you know, like, and it was never like, oh, we don't. Like, this is crazy. No, it was normal for us. Like, it was something we did again. It was like the new normal, you know? Like, for us, it was so normal. My mom was super good in, like, having us, like, a game room. So she would, like, turn the garage into a game room. But, like, my older. My. My brothers, my older brother and my younger brother are more the video game type guys when they were growing up, I was more like, I just wanted to play soccer. I just wanted, like, be outdoors. Yeah.
- [24:52]
A
To end this topic about growing up without your father in your life and how that affected. What piece of advice can you give to anyone watching that is currently going through the absence of not maybe a dad, but either one of their parents? What piece of advice can you give someone watching that is currently going through that?
- [25:08]
B
One piece of advice I could give someone that is going through the absence of a father or a mother is that regardless of life, like, one thing is that if you want to keep going, you literally have to jog before jogging, you have to crawl before jogging, you have to run. There's a lot of things you have to do before in order to keep going. Yeah. And a lot of the things, like, you can't let things you can't control get to you. You know, you can't control that you don't have a dad.
- [25:36]
A
Yeah.
- [25:37]
B
Like, that's. That's out of your.
- [25:39]
A
Out of your hands.
- [25:39]
B
Yeah.
- [25:40]
A
Yeah.
- [25:42]
B
If you dwell on it and you think about it and I don't know, like, exactly. Exactly. But if you. You could talk about it, like, that's all. That's the point of it, of moving on and talking about it. But if you stay back and you don't keep going, like, you're literally gonna get stuck. So, like, my advice is keep going. Talk about it with people that care for you. Be about it. I'M telling you, jog, walk, crawl. Like, as long as you're moving, a
- [26:08]
A
lot of people, not just with this circumstances, but it's great that you brought up the fact that, you know, I think a lot of people dwell and sequence over things they can't control, over things they have no power or no action over. Dwelling on the fact that you don't have a parent, but. But instead it's like, use that as your motivation to be like, you know what, Maybe I don't have my mom or my dad to guide me, but that doesn't define me. My person or my personality isn't, you know, a child without a father. Like, I can strive and be more than just that, you know, Quiero, you know? No, that you've lost, you know, your brother and your mom. But I want to first, you know, talk about your brother's passing. You know, your brother passed away. But before we get into how that happened, what kind of person was your brother and what are memories you remember the most with your brother?
- [27:08]
B
He was like, probably the most laid back, chill guy you've ever meet. Like, he didn't care about dressing up. Like, if he seen me right now, he would be like, bro, you're doing too much. Like, it would just be like Adam Sandler. Exactly.
- [27:20]
A
Adam Sandler.
- [27:21]
B
Adam Sandler. Like, this guy didn't care. But this guy, one thing about him, he was so good at drama, going like he could draw anything. Like, it was so crazy that you could be like, hey, draw Spider man. Like, swinging from these towers.
- [27:32]
A
And then without tracing.
- [27:34]
B
Without tracing, nothing. Like, he was an artist. And then one of the most. The. The best memory I've had with him is probably going to school with him because we were two years apart. So when he was a senior, I was a freshman, and then we took art class together. So he did all my homework.
- [27:50]
A
Do you feel like growing up you were closer to him as opposed to your other siblings just because of the age?
- [27:55]
B
No, I think we all like with sports too. Again, like, he would. He. My older brother was a goalkeeper.
- [28:01]
A
Okay.
- [28:01]
B
So we would just like go and we would kick the ball, you know, like, that's like the perfect match. It's literally like 6, 7.
- [28:06]
A
The day he passed away, what happened? Como tenterastes. And what was your initial reaction to, you know, your brother passing away?
- [28:15]
B
Yeah, so he was in the military. He was in the Air Force. He was based out of New Mexico, and I was in Arizona at the time. I was playing soccer and I got a call. I was with my Friends. And I don't remember who the call was. I think it was my mom. And then she, like, called me. Like, I don't really, like, recall much of this stuff because I try not to. Like, like, trauma block? Yeah, like, I think so. But I want to say it was my mom. She called me and she was just, like, crying, and I'm like, bro, what the is happening? And then she's like, your brother is gone. And something happened with the Air Force that we couldn't see him for, like a whole week.
- [28:52]
A
Oh.
- [28:53]
B
So, like, I don't know what was happening. It was crazy because when you enroll into the Air Force or any military branch, they. The. The person that is joining has to sign something. You know, like the life away. Yeah, exactly. So when you die, you have to sign something. And my brother at the time knew that my mom was. Wasn't going to be able to go through, like, if he passed away. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. My brother signed all the paperwork to the dad, but he's. The dad was never in the picture. So my mom was really mad because she. My brother didn't sign anything to her.
- [29:27]
A
Like, to alert her first.
- [29:28]
B
Yeah, to alert her first.
- [29:30]
A
Like, kind of like first emergency contact.
- [29:32]
B
Exactly. Or like, just to arrange everything.
- [29:34]
A
Okay.
- [29:34]
B
Like, the military had to talk to the dad, and my mom was over it because. But at the same time, I think my brother did that in a sense where. Exactly. Like, like, I don't want you to go through this. I don't want you to sign my death certificate. I don't want you to, you know, go through all the paperwork, go through all the. Oh. Telling people that it's at this time. I say that now because I had to go through it when my mom passed away. Does that make sense? Like, I had to do everything my brother, which I think my brother wrote for her not to do.
- [30:04]
A
What ended up happening. Did they ever tell you guys, oh,
- [30:07]
B
he got in a motorcycle accident.
- [30:08]
A
How do you feel like you reacted to the news immediately? Do you feel like at that moment you were in shock to where, like, it didn't seem sink in and it took you a couple days to really grasp what was going on? Or do you feel like immediately you're like, oh, like my brother's gone? Like, what was your reaction immediately?
- [30:24]
B
No, I was definitely shocked. Like, I didn't think anything like that could happen, you know, like, that was like our first big passing in our family. So I never thought I was shocked. And then it took, like, I'm saying, Like, a week for us to even, like, view him. For some reason, like, something was going on with, like, the fact that he signed the papers away to the dad. So then the dad was being a dickhead, like, we couldn't see him. And it was like, a whole situation that I was too young to even. Like, I was just trying to put two and two together because I'm like, all ears, all eyes. But I couldn't do that when there's so much shit happening. Like, so many emotions. Like, my mom couldn't do much when it came to all that. Like, it was just a whole lot.
- [31:05]
A
Do you remember what you did, like, the first day after finding out the news? Like, tence rasas into cuarto. Like, what was that, like, atmosphere for you the first day you found out the news?
- [31:15]
B
I don't remember, but I do remember I was in Arizona. It got to a point where we were, like, chilled out, you know, and they were like, okay, let's talk about it. And then they were like, oh, well, we can't even see him for, like, seven days. So, like, what are we gonna do? I'm over here in Arizona. Like, let's. Let's. We have to go wherever that this is gonna happen so we can, like, be together at least. So then I think that's what we did. But I don't have no much. Not much memory of, like, exactly, really
- [31:39]
A
what happened that week pass and you finally get the green light to go see your brother's body. What happened? Tell us a little bit more about the whole day in general.
- [31:53]
B
I do remember that day. And I remember, like, trying to, like, hold up my tears, you know, because I knew, like, every. Like, it was going to be our first time, everyone seeing him again. Because he was in the military. Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy. Like, he was in a suit, you know? Like, we opened the thing and I was like, he was just asleep. Like, it was the craziest thing.
- [32:14]
A
How did grief look for you, you know, after that? You know, you're kind of in disbelief now. You see your brother and you're like, oh, like, this is real. Like, my brother isn't here no more with us. How do you feel like you coped with this loss? Did you have moments where, you know, shit got really dark for you because you realized you no longer had your oldest brother with you? How do you feel like you coped with his loss? Like, the beginning, first couple months.
- [32:40]
B
It's been forever, to be honest. So, like, this is probably the first time I ever even speak about my brother. So, like, because I have no, like, memory of when it comes to, like, how did I go through it or, like, what happened, just because I had to go through something after that. So, like, I don't know, it was hard. It was really hard. Yeah. I mean, he was our oldest brother too. So, like, I mean, because it was my mom's first child, you know, so like, just watching my mom go through it, it was harder on me for
- [33:12]
A
some reason, you know, nos cuentas that he was the oldest. He passes away and you become, you know, cinquerindo, the oldest sibling. Do you feel like, pressures, or did you feel like certain responsibilities shifted towards you, like Mijo Torres and Mas Grande, you know, maybe you felt like you had to be there for your mom, your siblings to really go through, like, this, you know, passing.
- [33:32]
B
It didn't really affect me knowing that I was going to be the oldest, you know, because again, I was so transparent when it came to. To my sister and my brother. Like, I probably told them everything before I told my mom at the time. But then I moved to college. I went to college at 17 years old. So, like, I was the oldest, but I wasn't because my mom stayed with my brother and my sister, you know, so, like, it was only them while I was in. I lived in Oregon. Yeah, I went to school in Oregon for. I lived there for six years. I for sure try to do things that they would want us to do still, you know, and for me, it's soccer. Like, if I played soccer, I. My mind goes blank and I'm just. Soccer, soccer. And. But when the soccer ends, that's what I'm like. Oh, like, oh, now? Yeah, like, blanks me out. It's crazy.
- [34:17]
A
Is there any times now, like, is there any specific moments or, like, things that, like, go on in your life or things that you do that remind you of your brother?
- [34:25]
B
She. Everything. Like, I mean, motorcycles. Just other people convert, like conversating with their brothers. Yeah, every. I mean, a lot of things. Like, it's so crazy. Like, there's nothing one day or time.
- [34:37]
A
Do motorcycles trigger you, like, in a negative way where you're like, you know what? Like motorcycles, I would definitely.
- [34:43]
B
I would definitely get another one. So the thing is that I had a motorcycle first.
- [34:47]
A
Okay.
- [34:48]
B
And my motorcycle was really cool. And then he would be like, damn, like, I want one. And I was like, bro, you should get one. Get it. Oh, I get it. Cuz this fire, like, and especially here in California, like, it's so chill because people love it out here, like, they just, like, they let you, you know,
- [35:02]
A
at the beginning, did you ever have, like, guilt for that? Like, you know, you're like, oh, shit. You know, he died in a motorcycle accident. Like, maybe if I would have never introduced him into, like, this lifestyle or just the motorcycles. Did you ever have, like, some sort
- [35:15]
B
of, like, at the beginning, I did, but I'm set into, like, saying, like, everything happens for a reason. So, like, I had to tell myself that it wasn't my fault, you know, but it, like, in a sense, he did get the motorcycle because I got one first, but then I sold mine before that even happened. But at the beginning, I did hit myself for a little bit, and I was going through it, but other than that, I was like, that's just how God had planned it, you know, Like, I have nothing to do with anything of that.
- [35:43]
A
I think it is very sometimes hard because, you know what? But like you said, it really is, you know, God, you know, you can't really. Like you said, you can't really blame yourself or que d' arte nun lugar over things that you can't control, whether it was with a motorcycle or not. So it's good that you kind of got yourself out of that mindset and, you know, kept it going, you know, four years after your brother passed away, you know, your mom passed away as well. Como paso eso? Como tu Y como ta fecto? So esa perida, as opposed to your brothers.
- [36:25]
B
That was life changing, for sure. Like, crazy life changing. So at this point in time, I was literally playing soccer in Costa Rica, so I was in a whole different country. And I get this call, like, I'm probably in Costa Rica already for six months, you know, like, my mom had called me the day before. My mom was at a resort. She was having the best time of her life. You know, it was going to be her last day. She's like, she calling me, I'm getting a tattoo, actually, at the tattoo shop. And she called me. She's like, oh, son, I'm having the best time of my life, blah, blah, blah, this and that. And I was like, I'm getting a tattoo. And my mom's like, a fanatic, like, when it comes to tattoos. She had her whole body done. I'm in Costa Rica, we're having a meeting, and my phone is blowing up. And then my phone never, like, be blowing up like that, and it's just ringing. So I look and it's my sister, and I'm just like, oh, call it right now. You Know. And then I. Voicemail. And then again, and then voicemail. I'm in a meeting, and our coach is, like, big when it comes to, like, phones. So I'm just like. And thank God the meeting ends. And it's, like, calling. So, like, it's probably the third, fourth call, and I'm like, calling, and, hello? And I'm still in the meeting. Like, people are, like, walking around. It's a guy. I'm like, hello. It's an officer. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, what? I was like, yo, is this no way. Nailey's brother? And I'm like, yeah. And then he's like, oh, well, we need you to sit down. And I'm like, what the heck? And I'm like, 22, you know?
- [37:51]
A
And it's a moment that you thought it was something wrong with your sister?
- [37:53]
B
No, I didn't even. I.
- [37:56]
A
Okay.
- [37:57]
B
Because I'm telling you, like, we're so programmed. Like, my sister at the time was like, oh, your. Your sister's saying that your mom is at the grocery store, but we have other news to tell you. And I'm like, what? Like, my sister was so programmed to just be like, yo, my mom's at the grocery store. Like, what do you guys. Why are you guys here? You know?
- [38:13]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [38:14]
B
And then they just tell me, like, that my mom passed away. And then my phone just falls, like, off my hands like that. And then everybody, like. Because we're walking out of the meeting, but I walked out first, and everyone sees that. And then there's just, like, what's happening? Like, all my teammates, like, the owner of the team, like, it's just. It was like, were you crying or were you, like, frozen? Yeah, yeah, no, I froze. Fell on my knees. There was, like, rocks, pebbles. Like, it was. I didn't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [38:41]
A
You know, Yamante, you get that call, you're letting it all sink in because you're like, oh, my God, this can't be happening again. I just lost my brother not too long ago, and now it's my mom, you know? Do you remember the moment you realize, like, oh, shit. Like, I need to get the fuck up. I need to figure it out. What am I gonna do? I'm in a whole different country. How am I gonna get back home? Like, what was the aftermath after you found out?
- [39:04]
B
The aftermath literally was so crazy. So I'm talking to my sister, like, when everything, like, chills out and my brother older. So I went to Costa Rica to follow my dream to play soccer professionally. And my sister, like, I don't know. My sister probably, like, 16, 15, I don't know. She's over here telling me, like, oh, no. I, like, follow your dream. And I'm like, bro, what are you talking about? You're 14. I'm the oldest one. Like, what are you and Johnny gonna do? Like, because they were so young, they had no clue. I had no clue. So I for sure know they had no clue what to do. Yeah, like, there's so much you have to do when someone passes away away. And that I didn't know, but I came to find out because I had to do everything.
- [39:43]
A
You had no other choice?
- [39:44]
B
I had no other choice. I was the oldest one, and I was the only one that was, like, in charge of our family because we'd have anyone else but us.
- [39:51]
A
Did you go back home or what?
- [39:53]
B
It took? Yeah, it took me, like, eight days. So that was, like, the hardest thing. Like, because I. I was in Costa Rica, and from where I was staying to San Juan, Costa Rica, like, it was just like, the bus ride probably 14 hours, and that was the only way to get to the airport because I was so far. So that was the thing. And then just everything, customs, like, it just wasn't that easy to go right away, you know?
- [40:17]
A
Did they ever tell you guys, like. Or did they just tell you guys, like, she was at the grocery store. What was the reasoning?
- [40:24]
B
No, she overdosed on her own medication. Like, she was going through a lot of stress and depression, so she would go to the doctors to get medication. And I remember she told me, like, one time when I came back from college, she was like, yo, no. Like, I have to go back to the doctors because they're prescribing me my medication too. Like, strong. Yeah, this is too strong. And so, like, That's when it takes,
- [40:53]
A
like, about eight days to get back home. Do you remember? Because, you know, going back a little bit to my grandpa to give a little backstory, when my grandpa passed away, obviously, I knew he passed away, but I feel like our mind has a way. Way to protect us where. Because you're not in the same house or in the same room, you think you being in Costa Rica, you're like, you know what? Like, maybe my mom is dead, but then there's a little voice behind you, like, no, she's back home. Like, she's good. Like, I'm gonna get back home for sure, you know? Like, did you get back home and it finally sunk in?
- [41:26]
B
Yeah, for sure. It was like that. Like, I didn't feel any, like, sadness when I was at the airport, you know, like, it was just like, I'm going back home. And then when I landed and I had to go through everything, like, all the paperwork landed on me. Like, all the, like, what are we going to do? Like, bury her or, like, put in urns? Like, that felt all on me. Like, I had to sign a lot of paperwork.
- [41:48]
A
Did you feel overwhelmed with all that responsibility?
- [41:50]
B
I mean, I had someone helping me, but it was pretty crazy, like, just having to go. I don't even know where I went. I went to, like, some office to pick up my mom's death certificate, and that was, like, the craziest thing that I've ever had to go to through,
- [42:02]
A
you know, no squintas. That growing up, you were very, very close to your mom.
- [42:05]
B
Yeah.
- [42:06]
A
You know, she was, like, your best friend. And now, you know, not only did you lose your brother, but now your mom. What was going on through your head during those times
- [42:19]
B
or. I don't know what the Was happening in my head, but all I know is that she was just telling us, like. Or telling me, like, yo, you gotta stay strong, you know, like, there's really no other. Because regardless, like, it was gonna happen like this. Like, we were gonna be left by ourselves regardless, you know, one day or another, because she was our only person. She's, like, the only person we had, so. And it happened to be this early. And the thing is that my mom was so young.
- [42:45]
A
How old was she?
- [42:46]
B
42.
- [42:46]
A
Oh, yeah. She was super young.
- [42:48]
B
But, like, if. If I showed you her, you'll be like, nah, bro. Like, when we. When I got older and we went out, like, people thought she was my girlfriend.
- [42:56]
A
Oh, yeah.
- [42:59]
B
And then everyone would be like, no, like, that's your mom.
- [43:02]
A
Yeah, that's my mom. That's crazy, you know? You know, your mom passes away, it might have been a little bit different than when your brother passed away because you didn't feel too much of the responsibility because, you know, your siblings still had your mom in their life. Como cresce? And then not having your dad present in your life, how do you think that shifted your mindset? Do you feel like you had to, like, sink? And they'll be like, you know what? I have the responsibility of my siblings. I want to be there for them. They're so young. Like,
- [43:43]
B
I don't know. I was just, like, pedal to the metal, you know? Like, we have to figure it out. Like, there's no other. And I. I'm telling you, like, growing up I felt like it was just preparing us for this moment. You know, growing up with my mom is just like. Like, why did you feel like it
- [43:57]
A
was preparing you for this specific moment, Especially being so young too, you know? I mean, like, what do you feel like in your life was preparing you to eventually lose your mom and your brother?
- [44:06]
B
Just having a good head over our shoulders. Like, if you meet my sister and my brother and myself, like. And anyone who meets us, like, they wouldn't think that there's nothing wrong with us. Like, and there's a lot wrong with us, you know, like, there's so much happening.
- [44:20]
A
Do you feel, like, trauma and just, like, the grief has fueled you guys instead of like, Apagarlos?
- [44:25]
B
Yeah, exactly. I feel like. Like, it definitely fueled us. And I always said, like, I feel like my mom is up there, like, working us like puppets. Like, it was like, she's doing this, you know, like, because honestly, I'm to the point where I don't stress. Like, I have no stress in my life. Like, I've been told to just wake up and do life, and life is gonna unroll by itself. Like, that's what I was told in my head.
- [44:47]
A
As an older sibling, you know, who did you feel like you had to be there more for when it came to your siblings, you know, to where you had. Maybe losing your brother almost prepared you for the loss of your mom? Who did you feel like you had to be there more for? And what was that?
- [45:07]
B
Like, I feel like I had to be for both, but mainly my sister. But the thing is that with my sister, like, as soon as my mom passed away, she had to move with her dad, and she had never lived with her dad before. So that was like, a big switch for us. And that was like, a big switch for her in general because. Because her dad had never been in the picture till my mom passed away.
- [45:25]
A
Was that hard for her in the sense of, like, she probably would. Would tell you, like, I don't want to go with my dad. Why can I go with you?
- [45:31]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [45:32]
A
As a sibling, to be like, look, sis, like, I'd love to take you with me, but I'm still trying to figure out my life. I don't even know where I would take you. Was that hard as an older brother to be like, you gotta go away?
- [45:42]
B
It was terrible. It was so terrible because I couldn't play dad, you know, Like, I was young. Young. Like, I was barely knowing what to do. We did have a conversation, but it was like, mostly like, you know, this has to be done. Like, I'm sorry. Like, we can't do nothing. Like, we can't do nothing about it. Like, you're gonna go with your dad. Like, it sucks. I get it. You're gonna go back to El Paso. It sucks. I get it. Like, but we have to go through it, and this is what we have to do. Like, that's just how we've been programmed. Like, we have to do it regardless.
- [46:10]
A
Like, it's gotta get done. How was, like, for your brother, like, Johnny? Or like, did he also have to go with his dad?
- [46:18]
B
No. So I was going to college.
- [46:20]
A
Okay.
- [46:20]
B
And then he was already in la, I think, at the time. I can't recall. Like.
- [46:25]
A
Like, timeline.
- [46:25]
B
Yeah, the timeline of who was where at the time or what happened. But, like, I think my brother went to live with some friends, and then I went back to Portland, and then my sister with her dad.
- [46:36]
A
What do you feel like was the hardest part, you know, of losing your mom? Not just in that moment, but, like, even the years after, like, to, like, know and be like, you know what? Like, I no longer have my mom there for me to guide me or just be there for me in these big moments that I'm accomplishing.
- [46:54]
B
I mean, the main thing for me is not having my mom is like, I would call my mom for anything, you know, like, literally anything. I'll be like, mom, I just kissed this girl. You know, like, little things like that.
- [47:04]
A
She was literally like her best friend.
- [47:05]
B
Yeah. Yeah, she was era my best friend. I'll call her for anything and I'll tell her anything. So, like, I can't call the person that I care about the most and just be like, yo, guess what I did today? You know?
- [47:17]
A
Do you ever have moments where, you know, you kind of forget? Because I remember the first year that my grandpa passed away because, yo mi mente como vivo. In Mexico, my grandma would come or when they wouldn't come. To be able to function and keep going with my life, I would be very much like, you know what? Like, why am I sad over my grandpa passing away? Sien estan Mexico, Rita Ciel estan Mexico. You know, And I remember one of the first times that my grandma came over. It was actually my sister's birthday. Fu mosa senar and obiamiente nobino mi abuelito and no se porque Pero se me salio pre? M aguelito Because Norman mente my grandpa would be like, Me. I don't know why, but I think I thought, like, maybe he stayed home because he didn't want to go out, you know? And then I caught myself, like, oh, like, what the. Are you even asking Al? And, like, your grandpa's gone. Have you ever had moments where, like, maybe you've been like, oh, let me call my mom, and then you're like, oh, like, I can't do that.
- [48:20]
B
At the start, I would, but I think I would just do it on purpose, you know? Like, I would text, like. Like, that number. Phone number. For sure. I would text it. I would text it.
- [48:29]
A
Like, what were things you would text her after?
- [48:31]
B
Like, why did you leave us? Like, why now? Like, there's so much more life that we had to live together, you know? Like that. Like, a lot of crazy stuff.
- [48:40]
A
Are you, like, a big God believer?
- [48:43]
B
Yeah.
- [48:43]
A
Did you ever get angry at, like, God? Like, maybe sometimes, you know, Especially because you had gone through so much, you know, I'm sure there's more than just what you've told us today that you've gone through, you know, El not. Then you lose your brother, then you lose your mom. Like, you never had a. Like, a moment where you're like, you know what? Like, why am I even praying or believing to a God that literally is just keep throwing bad things at me? Did you ever have a moment like that?
- [49:08]
B
No. I mean, I'm a firm believer. Like, everything happens for a reason, so I never doubted God. I more, like, doubted the people that left us.
- [49:15]
A
Yeah.
- [49:16]
B
You know, I don't know. I feel like if you're, like, be more careful, you know, with the situations that you put yourself into.
- [49:24]
A
Yeah. How do you feel like, you know, losing not just your mom, but also your brother has shaped the man you are today. Do you feel like it's made you look at life a different way or even, like, relationships or friendships? Very much. And, like, you know what? In the most case,
- [49:42]
B
I mean, now that I'm older, I do see it like that. I try to be like, that's one thing. Like, I hate when people portray me in the Internet. Different. Different, because I'm super genuine, and I'm the nicest person you'll meet. I'm super outgoing. Like, a lot of people call me. I'm like, you're too friendly. No way. That's just like, me, you know? Like, I could be like this with everybody. Like, no one is gonna change how I am. I'm gonna be like this with you. I'm gonna be like this with her. Like.
- [50:08]
A
Yeah.
- [50:08]
B
I don't know why. I'm just, like, cool, I'm chill guy.
- [50:12]
A
And do you feel like it's because you feel like. You know what? There's no time to be a. There's no time exactly. Be rude or mean when.
- [50:18]
B
Well, only. Only to match energies.
- [50:20]
A
Okay. Okay. Okay. So if someone's A to you, like I can be a. But I feel like you're very much like, you know what? Life's too short.
- [50:32]
B
Yeah.
- [50:33]
A
Cuz life is too short.
- [50:34]
B
I feel like as we get older and it goes. It goes too fast.
- [50:37]
A
Yeah.
- [50:37]
B
Especially when you're having fun. It goes way too fast. And if you're not having fun living life like what are you doing?
- [50:44]
A
Martha listens to her favorite band all the time in the car, Jim even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got her seat close enough to actually see and
- [51:01]
B
hear them, sort of.
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A
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- [52:04]
B
twice as many deals.
- [52:05]
A
When you find the one, you've got a real shot at getting it. Get started@redfin.com own the dream. All over my for you page con those clips. But it wasn't always that way. How did you start on social media? What made you be like, you know what? And I'm gonna make this happen because this is what I want to do.
- [52:40]
B
The reason I started social media was because of my brother Johnny. I was his cameraman and that was literally the worst job ever. Being cameraman for my brother is probably the worst job ever. I mean, I'm his brother, so I want to conversate and I was really Good at being cameraman. So I wasn't conversating, you know, I was working.
- [52:57]
A
Yeah.
- [52:58]
B
And to me, like, he was just hanging out with people and doing cool things. But I couldn't be involved with it. I'm like, bro, I'm not going to do this for much longer.
- [53:06]
A
Yeah.
- [53:06]
B
Especially when I'm super independent guy. Like, I did it when we first started started, he didn't have a cameraman. So I was like, I'll help him with. Let's get started. I'll do it right now. I'll do it. Whenever you need me to do it, I'll do it. And then after I was like, I don't want to do this no more. So then I started streaming. He's the one that helped me to get into that because he's a big streamer. Yeah. I've been doing it for like, I want to say more than six months now, every day.
- [53:27]
A
Yeah, you have been. I feel like even him, you guys are really good with streaming every single day. I feel like streaming is a whole different monster because I was telling him, I was like, with YouTube videos, you can say whatever you want to say and then when you edit it, you can be like, you know what, this is going to get me canceled. Or even this Mirada Kelly Persona. People are getting nitpicking. I feel like it's like a whole different ball game. What made you want to do streaming as opposed to like more controlled content?
- [53:57]
B
I just started streaming because my brother was doing it. So, like being in the same traction, like all the people he hangs out with do streaming. So like, I was just wanting to do that because I did not want to be cameraman and shout out to all the cameraman's out there. Because I understand that that shit is hard work. Like being a cameraman is the best job, but suckiest job there is.
- [54:16]
A
I think I always tell people especially because I feel like I'd like to say I'm a great camera person. I started on YouTube so I feel like I know how to capture like the moment. But I'm always telling my boyfriend and even my friend shit whenever they're filming me. Because they're like filming, but they're not really looking at what's in the screen. They're like, yeah, they're looking at when you give me back the content, it's like, why is that angle so shitty? Like, you cannot be living in the moment. You got to live through the little screen. Like whatever is on the screen is what it's important. So I feel like, it kind of takes away from, like, the actual being in the moment, because you have to be locked in. In what's in that little.
- [54:53]
B
I mean, at the beginning, I was like, that I would be like, oh. Like, you know. But then I got to the point where I enjoyed giving the people, like, what I was watching, like, the best content. Yeah, exactly. The best views. Like, I would zoom in and at important faces. Like, I would do things that would be like, oh, like, he's actually paying attention to what's happening around him.
- [55:14]
A
How was it? Like, El momento. He's a Sasuke. I'm going to go up to my little brother and I'm going to quit on him. Was that, like, harder? You were just like, you know what? I don't want to do it anymore. I'm going to start streaming. Like, figure it out.
- [55:24]
B
Ah. Like, I feel like it was like, a talk where, like, I'm going do it to help you, but I'm not going to do it forever. Okay.
- [55:30]
A
So it was always, like, the idea from the beginning. Okay.
- [55:33]
B
Like, it was just like, I'mma do it whenever you need me, me. You text me, I'll be there, and you tell me when we're done and we're done, you know?
- [55:41]
A
And I feel like a lot of the clips have been, like, you guys together. Like, at this point. I mean, I don't even know if they're a thing. I don't know if it's just a collab. How did you guys start hanging out?
- [56:01]
B
We went. I went to a Pilates event. Like, it was like, 200 girls, and it was, like, probably five guys. So, like, I don't even know why I ended up there. But, you know, everything happens for a reason. For a reason. And I kid you not. Like, she gets frustrated and she gets mad with me because I tell her, like, I didn't know who she was.
- [56:22]
A
Yeah.
- [56:22]
B
Because I'm so, like, oblivious when it comes to who's who on the Internet, you know? Like, I don't really care. Like, so. So when I went, this guy tell me, like, yo. Like, I told this guy, I was like, yo, who's that? And then this guy's like, yo, that's Bella. You don't know who that is? And I'm like, no, I don't. Then the night went by, and then I was just, like, waiting for my moment because I'm not the type of guy to, like, kind of rush it, you know?
- [56:51]
A
Yeah.
- [56:52]
B
Like, I didn't even think about it. But she was telling me that I wasn't approaching her. I was like, making her feel left out. Like, I didn't even say hi to her at the beginning. But then the time went by. Everyone was saying bye and everything. And then I went up to her. She was like, getting her horse, like the saddle out of the horse. And I just went up to her and I was straightforward. I was like, yo, you ever want to stream with me? And then she's like, yeah, I would love to. And then from there, she. I gave her my phone, she put her number, and then I texted my name. No. And then from there, that was it. I never texted her back. She never texted me. Time went by. I want to say like two weeks. And then she had a 20v one.
- [57:25]
A
Oh, yes.
- [57:26]
B
She had a 20v one stream. And I was like, I'm just gonna pull up. So I pulled up and I ended up winning it.
- [57:31]
A
But she didn't know you were gonna.
- [57:33]
B
No, yeah, she didn't know I was pulling up. And I didn't know it was gonna happen. You know, I think it happened like the. The day before. The day of that. I was like, yeah, I'm gonna pull up. Like, what? And then even after that, like, I thought I was gonna win and we were gonna go out to eat or something. No, we ended up going out with everybody that was like, in the 20v1.
- [57:48]
A
You're like, Bro, yeah, supposed to be my day.
- [57:51]
B
We went to in n out and then it was like, whatever. Like, it was just like nothing had happened. Like, everyone was hanging out. I was hanging out with my friend. That was also in the 20v1.
- [58:01]
A
So you didn't really even get to talk to her that.
- [58:03]
B
No. At all. And I was just like, standoffish in a sense. And then I just dipped. Everyone was still hanging out. I'm like, bro, like, what's the point of this? You know? And then I was just like, I think that night or the morning, I was like, oh, thank you. So I appreciate you for picking me. From then I asked her to do another stream with me. We went to, like, this ball.
- [58:19]
A
Was it, like, awkward at the beginning? Like, oh, I hope we, like, mesh good, because I feel like sometimes it can be a little scary, especially for, like, the streams. Like, I come collab with someone that's awkward and you're gonna be able to see that on camera. People are gonna be like, oh, my God, this is weird. Like, were you kind of nervous at the beginning?
- [58:36]
B
No, I wasn't. And I feel this, like, connected well right away. I mean, I'm not sure. You let us know.
- [58:42]
A
I'm like, you let us know. Bella, do you feel like it's just more like of a collab thing? Porque simchos commentarios and munches quesadilla. Like, are you guys a thing. Are you guys, like, like, really talking, or is it just more like of a collab?
- [58:57]
B
No, we definitely talking. It got to that point where it's just a matter of time now, like, of when I'm gonna pop the question. But it has to be perfect.
- [59:06]
A
She had a very public relationship. Has that been hard for you to be able to? Like, you know what? Like, I want something serious with her, but, like, maybe people are always constantly talking about her past relationship, or people are always, like, not letting her forget. Or maybe even her just because Obia mentioned it can kind of be like, he has to be in her life forever. How has that been for you?
- [59:26]
B
I mean, it doesn't bother me knowing that he or she has to be in each other's life because of the kid. Like, that's just, like, something that comes with.
- [59:32]
A
Yeah.
- [59:32]
B
Co parenting, you know? So, like, I understand that, but when it comes to the social media stuff, that's when I, like, I cut the line, you know? Like, it just really depends how you're going about it on social media.
- [59:42]
A
Like, the boundaries.
- [59:43]
B
Yeah, there's definitely has to be boundaries, because there's definitely not going to be no flirting if you're going to do social media with someone else House, there's not gonna be none of that. We're getting back together, like, stuff like that, you know? So, like. But she knows. She understands. I feel like we both have an understanding of how we want to move with our social media now.
- [60:01]
A
So you guys have had, like, a conversation off camera, like, hey, you know what? Like, aside from the fun we're having online, like, we actually both see each other, like, in a more serious, like, way that, like, if we want this to work, this is what I don't want to be seen online and vice versa.
- [60:17]
B
Yeah, for sure. I feel like every day, there's always something that we have to, like, talk about because there's something new, you know, like, we're learning each other, so there's something always that pops up, and I'm just like, yo. Like, that doesn't slide right with me, you know? So it's just. Just getting to know each other. Yeah.
- [60:32]
A
And I feel like that's, like, a part with special. With the streaming, too, because a lot of those moments that you guys Are having are on camera. Do you guys ever feel the pressure or do you ever feel the pressure of like, fuck. Like, you know, we have so many people seen as they want us to move at a certain speed with this relationship where they already want us to even be married. Like, you know, online. They already made a whole story for y'. All. Has that been hard for you guys to like move at your guys own pace? Especially like when you guys stream a lot together?
- [61:03]
B
I feel like we have a good understanding about the pace that we're going into. Like now we're communicating more and like going about it a certain way. But other than that, like, I think it'll be. It's gonna be good.
- [61:15]
A
Do you feel like it's hard sometimes to like have a relationship online when so many people are watching every single move?
- [61:23]
B
Yeah, for sure. We have a group of people in a discord. They're called Noella Babies. I mean, I don't know about Aww. Because these people are like, we're always watching you, your every move. I'm just like, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. So like, you know there's gonna be people when you go on live. Like, I have people that it tells you on my twitch, it tells me like, oh, 130 consecutive streams. So like that just shows like these people are as consistent as me that I go on and they go in to watch me, you know, like, they don't miss. They don't miss. Yeah.
- [61:57]
A
That's crazy. That's kind of like pressure too because you're like crazy. These are the people that are clipping you. How do you feel about the clips? Because I feel like some. Sometimes clips can be very positive, but they can also kind of like be damaging a little bit because they caption it something they'll get like a little part. How do you feel about clips?
- [62:18]
B
I mean, some clips, like you said, some clips are really good. Most of the clips that are bad or negative is because you're click baiting them. You know, like you're doing certain things to knowing that they're going to like, see it a certain way. Yeah, they're going to react to it. So you're going to do things on the Internet that is going to be like, like, for example, like a lot of people on the Internet think that I'm broke because we do a thing where me and Bella, like, I give her my card and she pays. So like a lot of people think that she pays for everything and that's not the case.
- [62:46]
A
How do you feel when you get Comments like that we are meant to.
- [62:48]
B
You know, I hate it. I hate it. And I tell it to everybody because it makes me look stupid. Like, it makes me look dumb.
- [62:55]
A
And it's very believable, too, because I know Bella has a lot going on for herself, so it can be very.
- [63:00]
B
Yeah, that's why. And that's why, like, that's why it goes with what's happening.
- [63:04]
A
Yeah.
- [63:04]
B
Because she's known for all that. Like, for some reason, people, like, use her for her money and stuff. And, like, that's not the case here. And she knows that. But, like, we go through that just because. To get people talking.
- [63:17]
A
Yeah. You're like, we're gonna make them think it's like that. Do you feel like sometimes it gets kind of hard for you guys to separate? Like, you know what? Like, how far can we go in with the clipping? Like, do you guys ever have conversations? Like, you know what? We can go crazy with the clips, but, like, there's things that maybe we shouldn't be saying because, yeah, that. That's where we drop.
- [63:36]
B
I mean, I feel like they don't really think about how far the clipping can go when it comes to saying shit to me, but when I say shit to people, that's when it comes like, oh, you're doing too much. You know, because I can get into, like, I can rage, bait you well, and then you're gonna be like, bro, that's too far.
- [63:52]
A
What's an example where you feel like, people were, like, coming at you for. For too much when it was like, it's not that serious, bro.
- [63:57]
B
I mean, I just asked my sister if she ate, and then it was, like, for, like, weeks. They're like, oh, have you fed your sister? No, no, I feed your sister. Oh, no, your sister's probably hungry. Like, bro, what? Like, get over it.
- [64:09]
A
Like, girl, she's been eating. Ah, she ate that very moment. Is that hard, too? Because I know, you know, obviously you guys all do social media now. You know, your brother Johnny, even sometimes online or social media can kind of pinpoint you guys against each other.
- [64:23]
B
That's what they do. That's literally what they do. Like, they would say to make us say so it seems like, yeah, how
- [64:31]
A
do you feel about that?
- [64:32]
B
People are going to do what they want, you know, to get interaction or interaction from us. And then, like, me, I'm super good at reading the bad comments. Like, I don't care. Like, say what you got to say. Like, I'm going to end. For some reason, people tell me like, oh, no, I don't interact with the bad comments, but I like it.
- [64:47]
A
Yeah, you're like, that's what gets the fucking views going.
- [64:49]
B
Yeah, that's why. Like, that's. I.
- [64:50]
A
What.
- [64:51]
B
What gets me talking, like, especially in this generation. Like, people just want to talk about negative. Like, literally, people just want to talk about negative stuff, and they don't care about anything else.
- [64:59]
A
Talking about situations. I recently saw that you were with Bella in Puerto Rico.
- [65:04]
B
Doctor.
- [65:05]
A
Doctor. Why do I keep saying Puerto Rico? Puerto Rico. But you were in Dr. And you guys had a whole situation over a
- [65:11]
B
chair,
- [65:14]
A
and I saw that clip of you what the. Ended up happening.
- [65:18]
B
Okay, so. So I get the beach chairs. The one that recline. I get that, like, those for sure cost money anywhere, you know, like, even Miami, whatever. But there was so many ladies getting their. They were getting massages. They were getting their trensas on their hair. Bella was going to go next. So then the lady that was doing her trensas gave her that chair, you know? So then I sat on the edge of one of the reclining chairs, and I kid you not, this Kevin was like, that's my chair. More move, bro. She scooted it back. She's like, sit on the ground. I'm like, what? You're like, bro. So I literally got one of the plastic chairs. I moved it close to bell. I sat, and then five minutes later, the guy comes and is like, oh, $10 per chair. And we're just. I'm, like, looking at him. I'm like, bro, like, what are you talking about? I'm not gonna pay you 10 bucks for these chairs. When we thought it was the ladies chairs, like, yeah, everyone's sitting here in a line getting their hair done.
- [66:10]
A
Oh, so you guys thought it was like, oh, yeah, provided the chairs because this is a little business.
- [66:14]
B
But before we got there, there was a whole lot line, like, of Karen's getting their hair done. Like, we thought it was normal. And then they came. I was like, bro, I'm not going to pay you 30 bucks for these three chairs. Like, take it right now. I'm not going to pay it.
- [66:24]
A
Do you feel like the guy was just trying to, like, rip you guys?
- [66:26]
B
Oh, yeah. He for sure was just trying to get money.
- [66:28]
A
I feel like you hear that a lot, Especially, like, when you go to another country.
- [66:31]
B
Especially with the camera.
- [66:32]
A
Yeah. They see you guys, like, oh,
- [66:38]
B
walking around with Bella, like, yeah, we look way too.
- [66:41]
A
Like, you're like, what are they up to? What did you end up doing? Like, did you end up Giving them money or.
- [66:44]
B
No, no, I just walked away. But people in the Internet was like, it's $10. You should have paid him. Like, nah, bro, he was just hustling us. Like, he. Dude, the braids were $10 per one braid.
- [66:56]
A
How much did she end up paying? Like, 40 bucks.
- [66:57]
B
30 girl. That's what I said. I was like, bro, how are the braids? And she only. So it was going to cost 40, but then she was like, opening her wallet in front of the.
- [67:07]
A
The girl.
- [67:08]
B
The girl. So she saw that there was only 30, and I was like,
- [67:12]
A
do people talk hella on that? Cuz I did see a lot of those clips. I swear to God. That's where I started seeing a lot of like, you on my for you page. I feel like after that it was like, no, I mean, I had seen previous ones, but I feel like that one. A lot of people were like, very honest.
- [67:28]
B
Oh. And for some reason they're on it. When it comes to little like that, like, it don't matter.
- [67:33]
A
And I swear to God, those same people that be complaining would be the same people that would be reacting the same way that you react.
- [67:38]
B
Exactly.
- [67:42]
A
Following. And he's online.
- [67:44]
B
Everyone would want to sit in that for free. What?
- [67:47]
A
Especially because it's like, there's no signs. Oh, yeah. Was there any signs of, like.
- [67:52]
B
Oh, so that's what Bella said. Like, oh, there's no signs or anything, Which I get it, but, like, what? I'm talking about the folding beach chairs, the ones that you lay down. Okay, those could cost money, but these chairs.
- [68:05]
A
No, but wasn't the guy even, like, telling you guys for a while, sitting there like, bro, like, you could have come.
- [68:11]
B
No, we just told him. I was like, bro, if. If you have something to say, you could have said it as soon as we sat. And he's like, oh, I've been working. And I was like, well, we only been here for five minutes, so you're not gonna charge me ten bucks.
- [68:20]
A
It would have been different. Like, hey, you guys, like, you know, these chairs,
- [68:29]
B
Like, 10 bucks right now?
- [68:30]
A
I was like, for those milliseconds. Ah, that is crazy.
- [68:36]
B
You know, I'm sorry. No, amiga. Oh, no.
- [68:38]
A
Has any of the comments ever gotten to you?
- [68:40]
B
Never. I don't know why, but I'm like, maybe I could go back with. Like, my life has prepared me for this. You know, I've been hit by a train. Like, ain't no mosquito bite comment gonna hurt me.
- [68:49]
A
What do you feel like are the biggest pros and cons of being on
- [68:52]
B
social media, I guess the negative is, like, you just got to be more careful of your surroundings more. Like, one time we went to. I don't know what city we went to, but no, like, pellet guns or like, I don't know, like, we're coming out of store and they're like, just for.
- [69:08]
A
Just for fun. Like. Yeah, like, you guys didn't do. No.
- [69:11]
B
Like, someone was just like, stream sniping and just like, what.
- [69:14]
A
What the. I would have been scared, girl.
- [69:16]
B
But it was crazy. No, there's a clip and we're just like, holy. Like, what the.
- [69:19]
A
Because the can actually go down.
- [69:20]
B
Yeah.
- [69:21]
A
And you see it all the time. You know, people have done crazy on live streams just for, like, the clip of it.
- [69:27]
B
And the positive is just, like, little things. Like, everything I'm wearing right now.
- [69:31]
A
Yeah.
- [69:32]
B
Free 99. Like, people are just gifting me stuff so I can wear it on stream. Like other influencers. Like, this is.
- [69:39]
A
Yeah.
- [69:40]
B
Like, these pants were given to me, like, custom. Like, I didn't make them. Like, someone just like, hey, please wear them. Like, you go to events, you meet people that you've talked about or you've seen on tv. You know, like, I've been with your favorite artist. I've been with your favorite whoever influencer.
- [69:55]
A
I feel like there's definitely more pros than cons.
- [69:57]
B
Yeah, for sure.
- [69:58]
A
But it also can be the way you see shit. You know what I mean? Because there's a lot of people that get a lot of hate, or there's a lot of people that, like, really say that Carlos with all the cons, but don't really see all the. All the pros that have come out of social media. You know, when I started. I started doing social media when I was. I'm 27 now. I turned 28 this year. I started when I was, like, 16. So I've been doing this for so long, and I feel like at the beginning it would kind of, like, affect me, but then I would be like, I used to be, like, 300 pounds, right. So a long time. Yeah. So at the time, right. And at the beginning, it would, like, hurt me a little bit. But then as I started making more money, making a name for myself after these videos, started doing good, and I started seeing all the fruit, I'm like, I actually keep telling me, because I'll make content out of that. You know, I've had a lot of fun. And really, to get to know you. Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Whether that's career wise, Personal wise, family wise.
- [71:00]
B
In five to 10 years, I do want to have, for sure, a family. Like, I do want to have a little mini me, for sure. Sure. But I do want to continue my bloodline, you know? Like, I feel like that's something I need to do for sure. Because I do want, like, my mom's bloodline to continue, you know, so definitely start a family. But I do want to do something with soccer. Like, I want to, like, create a. Like a facility, okay. Where people can come hang out, play soccer, you know, train, but also, like a bar environment. Like, oh, that's cool.
- [71:35]
A
Because just by talking to you and just by hearing everything you've gone through and I'm sure you've gone through more things that you didn't talk about, You tunnel vision. Whatever you want to do, you'll do it. Because like we said earlier, life's too short to, like.
- [71:51]
B
It's too short.
- [71:51]
A
Stay on dreaming. You can't stay dreaming, y'. All. You got to go out there and make those dreams come true. And I've had so much fun. Make sure you guys go ahead and follow him right now. I will leave all his links down below baby on the screen so you guys won't miss any future episodes. And with that being said, thank you so much.
- [72:15]
B
Thank you for having me. I appreciate that. Thank you.
- [72:17]
A
And thank you guys so much for watching. And we'll see you guys in the next one. Bye, guys. Guys. Yay. We're good. Dinner time. It's where little moments are cherished.
- [72:35]
B
With blue cash preferred.
- [72:37]
A
Get 6% cash back at US supermarkets and bring everyone together.
- [72:41]
B
I did say everyone. Learn more@americanexpress.com Explore BCP terms and cash back cap apply with blue cash preferred.