For many Christian parents, the message was simple: if you follow the biblical formula, your children will grow into faithful, flourishing adults. But what if those promises were never true? In this episode, Tim speaks with Marissa Burt, co-author of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, about the rise of the evangelical parenting movement, the fears that fuelled it, and the hidden assumptions about authority, obedience and control that shaped generations of families.

Drawing on historical research and the stories of both parents and adult children, Marissa explores how well-intentioned families were often let down by systems that offered certainty where none could be guaranteed. Together, they discuss the relationship between love and control, the impact of shame and spiritual authority, and what healthier, more hopeful approaches to parenting and faith might look like today.

After the interview, Tim is joined by his wife Hannah to reflect on how the conversation resonated with their own experiences of growing up in evangelical families, and how it has shaped the way they're raising their son, Elliot. Together they explore themes of fear, control, corporal punishment, questioning authority, and what it means to pass on faith without trying to control the outcome.

Interview starts at 16m 19s

Books, quotes, links →

The creation of Nomad’s thoughtful, ad-free content is entirely funded by our equally thoughtful and wonderful listeners. By supporting us, you gain access to Nomad’s online spaces—like the Beloved Listener Lounge, Enneagram Lounge, and Book Club—as well as bonus episodes such as Nomad Contemplations, Homegrown Conversations, and Nomad Revisited.

If you’d like to join our lovely community of supporters, head over to our Patreon page. You might even be rewarded with a Nomad pen or our coveted Beloved Listener mug!

If a monthly commitment isn’t possible right now, a one-off donation is always deeply appreciated—you can do that here.

Looking to connect with others nearby? Check out the Listener Map or join our Nomad Gathering Facebook group.

And if you're up for sharing your own story, we regularly post reflections from listeners on our blog—all with the hope of fostering deeper understanding, connection and supportive relationships. If you'd like to share your story on the blog, contact us for more information here.