Hey friend — this episode is a bit of a rant, because honestly, I just can’t take it anymore. There is some really bad fundraising advice floating around the nonprofit world, and one piece in particular absolutely drives me up the wall. You may have heard it before — “If you want money, ask for advice. If you want advice, ask for money.”

The idea behind it is that you should ask donors for their input first as a “relationship building tactic,” and then eventually you’ll be able to ask for money. But here’s what actually ends up happening: nonprofit leaders avoid asking for financial support altogether. They keep having meetings, asking for advice, collecting feedback… and meanwhile, the mission is still under-funded. I see this constantly with EDs, CEOs, development staff — and it’s not relationship-building. It’s manipulation. It’s having a hidden agenda.

And I don’t do hidden agendas.

In this episode, I talk about why “ask for advice to get money” is dysfunctional, manipulative, and ultimately ineffective in raising sustainable funding. I share why honesty is the real trust-builder, why clarity is more respectful than tip-toeing around your intentions, and why being direct is not rude — it’s actually generous. If we’re asking for support because our work matters, then we don’t need to hide that.

We also talk about:

Why confidence matters more than perfectly scripted asks
How “advice collecting” is often just procrastination dressed up as strategy
Why you should only ask for advice from people who have actually done what you’re trying to do
How implementing someone’s feedback (and reporting back) is what actually strengthens relationships
Why direct, honest asking raises more money faster — without the emotional exhaustion

If you've been told to “build the relationship first” but were never taught how, this episode is going to feel like taking a huge breath of fresh air. You don’t need to manipulate. You don’t need to disguise your intentions. You don’t need to be scared of asking.

You need courage, clarity, and clean communication — and we talk about all of that here.

Take a listen — especially if you’ve been avoiding the ask. This might be the moment everything clicks.

Want 15 leads in 5 minutes? DM me "Breakfast burrito" on LinkedIn and I'll send you a pdf and 6-minute training to help you generate 15 leads for your nonprofit in minutes. It's totally free. All you need is an email to sign up. DM me "Breakfast burrito" - I'm from Texas, what can I say? - to get your pdf and mini training.

If you're an org with at least $800k annual budget and major gifts is your top priority, but you need a better strategy and approach, get on the waitlist for the next CourageLab cohort here: https://julieordonez.kit.com/couragelab2

Stop Asking For Advice When You Actually Want Money