Nonprofit Lowdown – Episode #376

Boards Don’t Avoid Fundraising. They Avoid Embarrassment.

Host: Rhea Wong
Date: February 16, 2026

Episode Overview

In this insightful solo episode, Rhea Wong tackles a perennial nonprofit challenge: why board members seem to avoid fundraising—and why the problem is not laziness, but embarrassment and social risk. With deep experience on both sides of the board table, Rhea reframes common assumptions, identifies psychological and strategic pitfalls, and offers concrete guardrails and advice for engaging boards more productively in major gifts fundraising.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reframing the Board Fundraising Struggle

• Not laziness or lack of care:
  • "Your board isn't lazy. Your board is not trying to avoid fundraising. What they are trying to avoid is embarrassment." (01:05)
• It’s about social risk:
  • Board members are protecting their reputations and avoiding situations where they might be socially uncomfortable, not simply shirking fundraising.

2. Why Boards Avoid Fundraising

• Personal 'money stories':
  • "We all have a story about money, and frankly, a lot of us have very dysfunctional stories about money." (04:15)
  • Board members' backgrounds and experiences (abundance vs. scarcity) impact comfort with fundraising.
• Lack of clarity and unarticulated expectations:
  • Board members often haven't been told exactly what's expected, nor recruited with fundraising in mind.
• Fear of burning social capital:
  • "Most board members think that fundraising equals solicitation. They're worried that you'll burn their social capital." (06:22)
• Aversion to transactional asks:
  • Nobody wants to feel like (or make their friends feel like) simply an ATM.

3. Understanding 'Social Capital' and Trust

• Social capital as trust currency:
  • Using the Epstein network as a cautionary tale, Rhea highlights how reputational risk looms large in making introductions (12:20).
  • "If you are asking me to make an introduction on an organization's behalf, essentially you're asking me to spend some of that carefully constructed, curated social capital that I have honed over time on your behalf." (13:50)
• Fears of the board member:
  • Looking foolish, feeling like a user, being unable to answer basic questions, and damaging important relationships.

4. The Real Role of the Board in Fundraising

• Staff executes; board 'de-risks':
  • "Staff executes, board de risks." (16:25)
  • Boards provide a 'halo effect' and accelerate trust through warm introductions and credibility transfer.
• De-risking defined:
  • Credibility transfer (introduction increases trust).
  • Warm context: Sharing their personal motivation for supporting the mission.
  • Permission-based connection: Asking friends for consent before introductions, not springing ambushes.
  • Strategic support, not busywork: Accompanying on site visits, being present at solicitations, acting as stewards.
  • "Where they can really shine… is to help support you in the face to face frontline fundraising." (20:10)

5. Guardrails: Rules to Set Board Members Up for Success

• "Boards don't need more courage, they need guardrails." (22:35)
• Four 'Board Safe' Rules:
  1. No surprise asks:
     "Nobody ever walks into a solicitation without being told in advance." (23:10)
  2. Board never solicits alone:
     If they’re uncomfortable, staff owns the ask, board provides context and support.
  3. Board only invites when they can protect relationships:
     Clear distinctions between 'board-owned' and 'organization-owned' contacts.
  4. Every board action has a script and a next step:
     Remove ambiguity; provide templates for introductions and clear follow-ups.
     • Example script: "I'd love to introduce you to X because this organization matters to me because Y. Not a solicitation, just a hello and a quick story." (27:40)

6. Minimum Board Expectations

• Set and clearly communicate expectations:
  1. Pipeline review: 15–20 min/month sharing feedback on potential donors.
  2. One introduction or stewardship touch per quarter: Boards serve as active ambassadors.
  3. Show up for one “moment that matters” each year: Experience the mission firsthand, e.g., via a site visit or program event.
  • "If the board role is vague, then it becomes optional. You need to set out the terms of your expectations." (32:10)

7. Final Takeaways & Mindset Shift

• Don’t guilt boards—design for safety:
  • Create systems and culture where risk is mitigated and expectations are clear.
• Consent and clarity:
  • "We want to make sure that everyone feels safe and that everything is consent based." (29:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On board avoidance:
  • "They're not avoiding fundraising. They're avoiding embarrassment and social risk." (01:20)
• On money stories:
  • "We all have a story about money, and frankly, a lot of us have very dysfunctional stories about money." (04:15)
• On the real board value:
  • "Their main value add is that they de-risk." (16:35)
• On the role of trust:
  • "Essentially, you're asking me to spend some of that carefully constructed, curated social capital..." (13:50)
• On board roles:
  • "Boards don't need more courage, they need guardrails." (22:35)
• Script for introductions:
  • "[Here's an intro email:] 'I'd love to introduce you to X because this organization matters to me because Y. Not a solicitation, just a hello and a quick story.'" (27:40)
• Setting expectations:
  • "If the board role is vague, then it becomes optional." (32:10)

Key Timestamps

• 01:05 – The core challenge: boards avoid embarrassment, not fundraising.
• 04:15 – Money stories shaping fundraising comfort.
• 06:22 – Social capital and fear of transactional asks.
• 12:20 – Insights from the Epstein case and reputation management.
• 16:25 – Staff vs. board roles in fundraising.
• 20:10 – How to use board members’ time most effectively.
• 22:35 – The importance of guardrails—explained.
• 23:10 – Board safe rule #1: No surprise asks.
• 27:40 – Sample introduction script to set up board members for success.
• 32:10 – Minimum expectations and why clarity is critical.

Summary and Action Steps

Rhea’s central message: Boards often resist fundraising not from lack of will, but out of a desire to avoid social risk and embarrassment. By offering clearly defined roles, permission-based asks, and practical tools/scripts, nonprofit leaders can set up their boards for meaningful fundraising engagement—transforming these relationships from sources of frustration into engines of growth.

Implementable Action Items:

• Create and communicate clear, consent-based fundraising expectations for board members.
• Equip board members with scripts and clear next steps for every fundraising role.
• Clarify board involvement: focus on ambassador and de-risking roles, not execution.
• Offer guardrails through “board safe rules” to protect social capital and relationships.
• Hold monthly pipeline reviews, foster quarterly introductions, and require annual “moment that matters” engagement.

For more on engaging your board or help with your major gifts program, Rhea offers direct coaching and her Big Ask Gift program at riawong.com.