A United Nations of Red Flags with Sam Sanders

Summary

Normal Gossip Podcast Summary

Episode Title: A United Nations of Red Flags with Sam Sanders
Release Date: May 21, 2025
Host: Rachel Hampton
Guest: Sam Sanders

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Introduction

In the seventh episode of Season Eight of Normal Gossip, host Rachel Hampton welcomes back Sam Sanders for a reprise from his initial appearance in Season One. The episode, titled "A United Nations of Red Flags," delves into the humorous and often chaotic world of Drew, a mid-30s British educator embarking on an adventurous solo trip across South and Central America. Throughout the episode, Rachel and Sam explore themes of gossip, relationship red flags, and the unpredictable nature of travel.

Conversation on Gossip and Relationships

[03:04] Sam Sanders:
Sam reflects on his evolving relationship with gossip since 2022, sharing a poignant perspective on discussing the deceased. He states,
"I believe once someone close to us dies, we have this special ability to imagine them in many ways after they're gone and make versions of them that help us and speak to us throughout our lives."
This sentiment underscores the episode's thematic exploration of how gossip serves as a means to connect with and understand both the living and the departed.

Drew's Travel Story

Character Introduction and Vacation Plans

Drew, portrayed as an enthusiastic traveler with a penchant for hosteling, is introduced as a "friend of a friend" who is about to embark on his annual vacation. He balances his academic career with his love for travel, utilizing the Hostel World app to book accommodations.

[11:28] Rachel Hampton:
Rachel describes Drew's meticulous yet adventurous nature,
"Drew is setting out on his annual vacation... backpacking through South and Central America for two whole months and staying in hostels the entire time."

Hostel Experiences and Meeting Oliver

Drew's journey begins smoothly as he navigates hostels and engages with fellow travelers. His most notable interaction is with Oliver, an Australian gentleman he meets during a kayak tour in Cartagena.

[19:33] Sam Sanders:
Sam humorously comments on the challenges of connecting romantically in confined spaces,
"How are you gonna, like, run game and Mac on someone and be hot when half your body is inserted into a kayak?"
This sets the stage for the ensuing romantic misadventures.

Kayaking Incident and Injury

During the kayak tour, Drew experiences a minor accident, slipping and injuring his leg. This mishap leads to an unexpected opportunity to bond with Oliver, who assists him.

[21:34] Sam Sanders:
Reflecting on Drew's predicament, Sam quips,
"He probably got an infection."
highlighting the real-life implications of Drew's oversight in seeking proper medical attention.

Romantic Pursuits and Red Flags

Despite his injury, Drew pursues a romantic connection with Oliver, leading to a series of events filled with red flags. Their interactions oscillate between charming and concerning, exemplifying the "United Nations of Red Flags" theme.

[27:39] Sam Sanders:
Sam points out Drew's enthusiastic yet potentially overwhelming behavior,
"Drew's like, what else could go wrong? My leg is fucked up. My phone and wallet are gone. I have an Australian who is stalking me. So, like, fuck it, we ball."

Lost Fanny Pack and Escalating Chaos

Drew's situation worsens when he loses his fanny pack, leaving him without essential items like his wallet and phone. The episode humorously portrays his struggle as he navigates the consequences of his actions with the help of the Canadians he befriends.

[43:27] Sam Sanders:
Sam muses on Drew's decision-making,
"It's justice for the Canadians."
emphasizing the chaotic yet humorous nature of the unfolding events.

Final Confrontation and Resolution

As Drew confronts his red flags and tumultuous relationships, the episode culminates with him recovering his fanny pack and escaping the persistent Oliver, ultimately returning home with newfound insights.

[52:23] Sam Sanders:
Commenting on Drew's journey, Sam notes,
"Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew. Drew's one of those guys who was always the mess, but never thinks he's the mess."
highlighting Drew's obliviousness to his chaotic tendencies.

Insights and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Rachel and Sam interweave personal anecdotes and philosophical musings on gossip and relationships. Sam's reflections on discussing the deceased as a form of gossip offer a deeper understanding of how we process loss and memory. Additionally, the humorous portrayal of Drew's adventures serves as a cautionary tale about recognizing and addressing red flags in relationships.

Notable Quotes

• Sam Sanders [03:20]:
  "It's gonna get a little deep, but trust me, it's not too deep."

• Rachel Hampton [08:51]:
  "Dead mom gossip is a book title."

• Sam Sanders [16:17]:
  "How do you feel about hostels?"
  "I might be."

• Rachel Hampton [25:06]:
  "So they continue the night after dinner with a romantic little stroll through the city."

• Sam Sanders [27:00]:
  "Now, Drew's one of those guys who was always the mess, but never thinks he's the mess."

Conclusion

In "A United Nations of Red Flags with Sam Sanders," Normal Gossip masterfully combines humor with insightful commentary on human relationships and the nature of gossip. Through the chaotic escapades of Drew and the candid conversations between Rachel and Sam, listeners are entertained while also encouraged to reflect on their own interpersonal dynamics and the subtle warning signs that precede deeper issues.

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Note: This summary omits advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions and narratives.

Transcript

[Rachel Hampton]

Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we're gonna bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Welcome to episode seven, y' all. We've only got three more episodes of season eight after this week, if you can believe it. But have no fear, if you want more normal gossip in your life, then I have got some incredibly exciting news. This September, Sarah and I are bringing normal gossip to nine different cities. We are stopping in New York, Boston, Seattle, Portland, Oregon, Denver, Dallas, Austin, Chicago and Minneapolis. Tickets went on sale to the public on Friday, May 9th. So that means if you are listening right now and live in any of those cities, you can go buy a ticket [e-mail] Every show has exclusive VIP tickets that include a meet and greet with Sierra and I. So I hope you're all planning what delicious little morsels of gossip gonna be bringing us. That is all the housekeeping for today's show. Now onto the Gossip. Today I am so excited to have none other than Sam Sanders joining me for the first repeat performance of this season. Sam was on the very first season of Normal Gossip in an episode called Dickmataz. Sam is a multi hyphenate. You might know him from any of the many shows he has created and hosted. Currently, though, you can hear him on Vibe Check with Saeed Jones and Zack Stafford. And you can of course hear Sam Sanders on the Sam Sanders show on krcw. Hi, Sam. Thank you so much for joining me and welcome back.

[Sam Sanders]

It is so good to be here. I remember being on an episode in season one and I had so much fun. Cause I remember it being about a straight male bartender who was messy. And I remember saying, aren't all straight bartender male bartenders messy?

[Rachel Hampton]

You did, you did. You said the red flag was that he was tall, that he was cute, and that he was a bartender. And ever since then, whenever I see a tall, cute bartender, I say, come on. I shouldn't.

[Sam Sanders]

Molly, you in danger, girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly. We, me and you are part of a very exclusive group, which is the people who were guests on the very first season of Normal Gossip. We were on the train before everyone else. How does it feel to be a normal gossip hipster?

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, what do I feel like knowing that I was an og? Yeah, it feels good. It feels iconic and I don't want to be one of those gatekeepers. All are welcome in.

[Rachel Hampton]

Just know we had good taste first.

[Sam Sanders]

Yes, there you go.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly.

[Sam Sanders]

Pay respect to your elders.

[Rachel Hampton]

No exclusion here. Just recognize who paved the way. Recognize who saw the vision. It was Kelsey. And then it was us.

[Sam Sanders]

Come on, come on. This is us.

[Rachel Hampton]

You've obviously already answered the question of what your relationship to gossip is. You said that gossip is a check on making sure that group norms are followed, which I love. But I wanted to ask, do you feel like your relationship to gossip has changed at all since 2022?

[Sam Sanders]

It has, and I'll tell you how. It's gonna get a little deep, but trust me, it's not too deep. Your team reached out and they were like, we want to talk to you about what kind of gossip you're experiencing now. And I have been having a lot of moments gossiping about the dead. Oh, yeah. And I never considered talking about the dead to be gossip. But, like, it is, the definition of gossip is talking about someone who isn't there, making them the third person. And I've been doing that a lot with my mother. She passed away maybe two years ago. She'd been sick for a while. It was time. We're glad she's at rest. But as soon as she died, people began to tell me stories about her that I'd never heard before.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Sanders]

Most of it good, a little bit messy, but I was like, oh, this is gossip. And it's like, I believe once someone close to us dies, we have this special ability to imagine them in many ways after they're gone and make versions of them that help us and speak to us throughout our lives. And the gossip about my mother is helping me do that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, I imagine. I feel like you're getting a new view on her that you didn't have before. Like a new perspective. Like a piece of a puzzle is being filled.

[Sam Sanders]

Exactly. I will give you an example that's really funny.

[Rachel Hampton]

Please.

[Sam Sanders]

Well, first, for starters, after my dad died, many. I'll never forget, the gossip started. Then in the limo to the cemetery after my dad died, a member of my family told me. Oh, that person you think that is this kind of relative? They're actually that kind of relative. Their mama wasn't their mama. Like, literally.

[Rachel Hampton]

I know it's messy, but I love that kind of gossip. Give it to me. Someone's father is with their father. Tell me immediately.

[Sam Sanders]

Yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

Who's the father?

[Sam Sanders]

Exactly. So this gossip from my mother, My favorite bit of dead mom gossip recently, I was out with some friends at a mall in la. And a lot of malls in LA are really cute. Really? She. But like, indoor, outdoor. So it's kind of open air. There are Water fountains and fixtures, and you can walk in the sun, which also means that, like, kids can just run and be a mess.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

Even more so than they could in, like, a normal mall. And I remember seeing this young boy acting a fool. And I called my Aunt Betty later that day, and I said, you know, Betty, they don't make them like they used to. These kids are a mess. They're not raising them right. No home training. Oh, my God. And I said, I guarantee you, I know for sure. My mama. Your sister didn't raise me that way. She didn't raise me and my brother that way.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

And my Aunt Betty pauses. She starts laughing, and she says, that is so not true. Y' all were Bebe's kids. And I was like, excuse me, miss. And she goes, y' all were Bebe's kids. And I said, what makes you say that? And she says, I'll never forget, Sam. You and your brother were maybe, like, six or seven. My Aunt Betty had come to visit her sister, my mother, and all of us, and we all were out shopping. My mother was in a store that she likes. My Aunt Betty was with her. And my brother and I, who were little banshees, were running around like crazy. My aunt tells me, and she's like, y' all were playing hide and go seek in the racks of the clothes. I can see it up and down the escalators, just being a fool. And so my Aunt Betty says. She goes, I'll go to your mother. My sister. And I say, regina, catch your kids. What are they doing? This is bad. Sit them down. And then Betty says, my mother puts down the dress. She's looking at. Looks at my aunt Betty, and she says, as much money as I'm about to spend in this store, my little black boys can cut up as much as the white kids. And then my Aunt Betty sat her ass down, and that was that. But it revealed to me that, like, this version of my mother that I had created this strict disciplinarian.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. Not quite didn't exist. Oh, my God. Okay. Iconic line from your mother.

[Sam Sanders]

Iconic.

[Rachel Hampton]

Obsessed.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

I feel like one of the things that happens as you get older is that you start seeing your parents as people rather than just your parents, and.

[Sam Sanders]

You realize that they were fully formed humans before you even showed up, before.

[Rachel Hampton]

You existed, and that they had whole lives that don't include you. And it's like, oh, that's wild. I don't know how I feel about that.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

But then for that process to continue with, like, your mom's gone, but you're still learning about her.

[Sam Sanders]

Like, it's incredible.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

Well, and like, you know, a lot of times, gossip amongst the living can be combative. It can be reductive, it can be messy. Gossip about the dead is usually expansive. And in my case, it's been mostly joyful.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

And I am at the age now where, like, these words pop up on the Internet and I'm not quite sure what they mean, and I'm past the point of, like, going to urbandictionary.com to find out, but I keep seeing the word lore manifest online.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, yes.

[Sam Sanders]

And I was thinking to myself, I was like, you know what? When they're alive and you're talking about them, it's gossip, but when they're dead, it's lore.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, you're right.

[Sam Sanders]

It's a beautiful thing.

[Rachel Hampton]

I love that. Wow, Sam, that was a gorgeous piece of gossip.

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, Regina Sanders.

[Rachel Hampton]

Also, the phrase dead mom gossip is a book title. There you go.

[Sam Sanders]

Dead mom Gossip. Let's buy it.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's Sam Sanders. I wanna buy it. I'm buying it right now. Bookshop.org yes.

[Sam Sanders]

Yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

Sam, that was a beautiful piece of gossip. Maybe one of the most beautiful.

[Sam Sanders]

Aw, thank you.

[Rachel Hampton]

Now I have some for you.

[Sam Sanders]

I love it. Let's dedicate this telling of gossip to my messy mama, Regina Sanders.

[Rachel Hampton]

Uh, to Regina Sanders. This episode of Normal Gossip is brought to you by Graza. My new favorite olive oil. It's fresh, it's never blended, and it comes from a single type of olive straight out of high end Spain, where over half the world's olive oil is produced. Graza has multiple kinds of olive oil. There's their newest frizzle, which has a higher smoke point, which makes it perfect for frying, crisping, or grilling. There's sizzle, which is like an everyday cooking oil, and then there's drizzle, which is like a finishing oil that you can put on salads, dip bread in, or even top off ice cream. I have been using drizzle the most because I have learned just how many kinds of food are made better with a little drizzle of olive oil. My favorite application for it is whenever I have a bagel for lunch with a little lox and tomato, a little drizzle of olive oil really just sets it off. So head to Graza Co and use gossip to get 10% off trio, which includes sizzle, frizzle and drizzle, and get to cooking your next chef quality meal. Normal Gossip is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states today. Our friend of a friend is named Drew, and Drew is in his mid-30s. He's British, and he's.

[Sam Sanders]

Let me tell you something. Brits pretend to be drama free, but they're messy. The accent fools you.

[Rachel Hampton]

Are you psychic?

[Sam Sanders]

I might be. You hear the accent, you're like, oh, they got their shit together.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, Drew has just finished his third year of teaching literature at a university at the uk and he is setting out on his annual vacation. Sam, do you know the kind of guy whose most defining characteristic is that they love to travel?

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah. Yeah. And you never know how they get all that damn money. You never know.

[Rachel Hampton]

It's always a mystery. It's always a mystery. Drew is one of those kinds of guys.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

Part of the reason he'd actually ended up in academia was because he loved that they had, you know, mandated breaks in a school year and he could travel. Exactly. I'm gonna be honest. I'm a girl who won't travel unless it's in comfort.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

I will not be backpacking.

[Sam Sanders]

There you go.

[Rachel Hampton]

I will not be sharing a bathroom with strangers.

[Sam Sanders]

I will not have an itinerary.

[Rachel Hampton]

I will not be wearing shower shoes. Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

I'm a wake up. See how I feel.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly.

[Sam Sanders]

There's no, like, laundry list of things to get to. We're not climbing mountains. We're not? No. No. Mm. Mm.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What this means for me is that I don't travel a lot because the way I travel is very expensive. And I would rather have an oat vanilla latte whenever I'm staying.

[Sam Sanders]

Good to go. I get that. I get that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew is not like this. He will forego a little treat so that he can spend at least three months a year traveling.

[Sam Sanders]

Three months.

[Rachel Hampton]

Three months.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

How do you feel about hostels?

[Sam Sanders]

Let me tell you something.

[Rachel Hampton]

I can't describe your face, but I'm gonna need you to describe the emotion that provoked that face.

[Sam Sanders]

I wasn't always making decent money. I was broke a large portion of my twenties. And one thing I never let myself do was stay at a hostel. I will say, the one time I went into a hostel, into what was to have relations with a man, and I finished and I left, and I said never again to the man or the idea of a Hostel. Never again.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, we're on the same page. Unfortunately, our friend of a friend Drew is not. He, despite being in his 30s, loves staying in hostels, partially because they're cheap. But also, Drew feels like it's the easiest way to meet interesting people when solo traveling, which he does a lot of.

[Sam Sanders]

I don't need to meet any more new people.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, I've stayed in a hostel exactly once, I have to admit, in London for two nights. And I said, Never again. I was 19. I was like, I'm good. Not Drew. Not Drew. Drew is in it for this year's vacation. He is backpacking through south and Central America for two whole months and staying in hostels the entire time.

[Sam Sanders]

Wow.

[Rachel Hampton]

First he's going to Havana, then to Mexico City before ending his trip in Cartagena.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay, that's a lot, isn't it? Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

In two months, Drew found his hostels through his absolute favorite app, the Hostel World app. This is a real app, by the way. It has a 4.9 rating on the Apple Store, Sam, which surprised me.

[Sam Sanders]

I don't know why I don't like that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Not only can you find and book hostels through the Hostel World app, you can also connect with other hostelworld users nearby and meet up for excursions and even DM people.

[Sam Sanders]

None of this appeals to me.

[Rachel Hampton]

Same, same. But it appeals to Drew. Cause his motto for this trip is basically, do it for the plot.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, Drew's a mess. Drew's an agent of chaos.

[Rachel Hampton]

So I am not like a do it for the plot ass bitch. Like, I love a five year plan.

[Sam Sanders]

You know what the plot is? The plot is my bills and my job.

[Rachel Hampton]

The plot is me living in comfort.

[Sam Sanders]

Come on.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, yeah. So one more important thing to know about Drew, besides the fact that he is a do it for the plot ass bitch, is that our friend of a friend has what I call boyfriend energy.

[Sam Sanders]

Define that for me.

[Rachel Hampton]

So flirting comes as naturally to Drew as breathing. He holds really good eye contact. When he's talking to you, it feels like you're the only person in the room. He knows how to ask follow up questions. Like when he makes you laugh, he like touches your arm a little bit.

[Sam Sanders]

You know who he sounds like?

[Rachel Hampton]

Who?

[Sam Sanders]

Bill Clinton. I remember they used to say back in the day, whenever Bill Clinton was talking to you, it was like no one else existed. And we know what happened there.

[Rachel Hampton]

I was gonna ask, have you encountered boyfriend energy in the wild, but it sounds like I'm asking, have you met Bill Clinton?

[Sam Sanders]

Never met Bill. Never met Bill.

[Rachel Hampton]

I Will say, one of my best friends who is not Bill Clinton has boyfriend energy. Luckily, this friend has a boyfriend himself now. But when he was single, it was actually really wild to witness. Really, like, people would just fall in love with him to a point where I would be mad cause people weren't falling in love with me. But at times it really did start to seem like a really big hassle. Cause he would be trying to have like a chill fling. And then three or four dates in, he's getting questions about like commitment and attachment styles.

[Sam Sanders]

I think there was a phase in my youth where I probably attempted that kind of energy. And then I realized I'm a little bit too neurotic and self centered. So it's just not going to work. Now I just mind my business.

[Rachel Hampton]

So this is Drew's play, and it's a play if you don't want to be a boyfriend. But if I learned anything by staying at a hostel for two days in London, is that hostels are a perfect place to not find a boyfriend.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew is setting off on his vacation with peace of mind. Mexico City and Havana are both incredible. So when Drew touches down in Cartagena, he's on a high and he is just really, really looking forward to a kayak tour that he's already booked on. You guessed it, Hostel World.

[Sam Sanders]

Girl, that's work. That is not vacation.

[Rachel Hampton]

See, I was gonna ask, are you an activities person on vacation? But I'm getting a subtle hint that you're not.

[Sam Sanders]

I love to be outside. I like to be physically active. Hiking, running, all of that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

If I'm gonna get in the water, it's gonna be for about 10, 15 minutes. And then I'm gonna sit by the water. Preferably with a drink.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes.

[Sam Sanders]

And if I get on a boat, it needs to have a motor, someone else needs to be driving it. And I better have a life jacket. And I would love there to be a bathroom on board.

[Rachel Hampton]

No arm workout. I do biceps at home.

[Sam Sanders]

There you go.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew loves a little tour. This little tour is departing from the beach at 8 in the morning.

[Sam Sanders]

See? Stop. You out your goddamn mind?

[Rachel Hampton]

Eight in the morning, they're kayaking to a nearby island that apparently has a breathtaking view of the city. And then they're gonna eat breakfast on the island. And then they're gonna return to Cartagena before noon so they can beat the afternoon heat. There are three other people who get up at this time for this tour. There are a pair of girls from Denmark who will be referred to as the Danish girls and a guy from Australia named Oliver. Technically, there are four if you count the guide, but we don't really care about the guide, so they're not important. Okay.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

The Danish girls are in one kayak, and Oliver and Drew are in another. And Drew can't help noticing that as they're chatting and paddling, that Oliver keeps winking at him.

[Sam Sanders]

Is Drew straight or gay?

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew is bisexual, and I'm gonna be quiet. Drew also can't help noticing that Oliver can't actually wink that well, so he just keeps emphatically blinking. But Drew's like, okay, I think I know what's going on. And when Oliver mentions his ex boyfriend, with an emphasis on boy, Drew's like, okay, I definitely know what's going on.

[Sam Sanders]

I get it. But you know what, though? How are you gonna, like, run game and Mac on someone and be hot when half your body is inserted into a kayak? I can't spit game in a kayak.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, somehow Drew manages to notice that Oliver is cute despite only being able to see the upper part of his body in, like, a very stereotypically Australian way. Like, very tan, very blonde, very friendly. How are you feeling so far?

[Sam Sanders]

I am wishing we could have given this script to Mike White for season three of the White Lotus.

[Rachel Hampton]

Ooh, yeah, let's not talk about that last episode, girl.

[Sam Sanders]

See?

[Rachel Hampton]

Anywho, Drew actually hasn't experienced a whole lot of romance on this trip besides, like, a dance floor makeout in Mexico City. And Drew's like, we need further plot development, so this is all working in its favor. Okay, so our kayakers get to the island, and they have a lovely breakfast. Everyone's like, isn't this the best fruit you've ever seen in your entire life? Like, they see some beautiful views, and it's when they're heading back to the island and Drew is getting into the kayak that his foot slips.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh.

[Rachel Hampton]

And he feels his, like, calves scrape against, like, the wooden edge of the dock before he falls into the ocean.

[Sam Sanders]

See, now it's bound to happen.

[Rachel Hampton]

You called it.

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[Rachel Hampton]

Luckily, Drew is not me, and he is a strong swimmer, so it wasn't too hard for him to get back to shore. But Drew is like, I have tripped very dramatically in front of a cute guy. My clothes are so. And my leg is bleeding profusely.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

What do you do?

[Sam Sanders]

I mean. And at this point, they're still on the island, so they got to get back.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes.

[Sam Sanders]

Years ago, when I was a breaking News reporter. My newsroom at the time sent me out to hostile environment training, where you learn what to do if you're, like, in some shit. And the only thing I remember is tourniquet. Make a tourniquet. Make a tourniquet. Make a tourniquet.

[Rachel Hampton]

Make a tourniquet.

[Sam Sanders]

Make a tourniquet.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes.

[Sam Sanders]

So maybe he could have, like, flipped it up and made it hot again. If he ripped his shirt off, showed his muscles, and then tourniqueted his leg, that might be hot.

[Rachel Hampton]

Sam, I swear. You're psychic. Drew doesn't have a chance to do that because Oliver immediately rushes over to help. And Oliver takes off his shirt and applies pressure to Drew's bleeding leg.

[Sam Sanders]

You know what? Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe I need to go to a foreign country, get on a kayak, and wait for a hot man to tourniquet me.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew can't help noticing Oliver is very muscular.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh. Oh. What are the Danish girls doing in the midst of all this?

[Rachel Hampton]

They actually went to go find a first aid kit. Oliver tells Drew this as he is like, are you okay? That looked like it hurt pretty badly. And Drew thinks he sounds very brave when he's like, it's not that bad. Aww, it is that bad.

[Sam Sanders]

Wait, really?

[Rachel Hampton]

It hurt like a bitch. And honestly, probably could have used stitches.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

The thing is, though, Drew doesn't feel like navigating a healthcare system in a country he doesn't live in.

[Sam Sanders]

Same.

[Rachel Hampton]

So they get back to the city, and once they're back, Drew goes to a pharmacy to stock up on, like, bandages and disinfectants. And. And since he only has a few days left in Columbia, he's like, I'll just keep it clean. I'll take it easy. I'll probably be home by the time anything goes wrong. If anything goes wrong. Which it probably won't.

[Sam Sanders]

Mm.

[Rachel Hampton]

Do you think this is wise?

[Sam Sanders]

No. He probably got an infection.

[Rachel Hampton]

That is a fair concern. But Drew's not really pressed at the moment. Like, by the time he finishes banging his leg, his primary thought is, time to get back to the plot. He shoots Oliver a DM on Hostelworld.

[Sam Sanders]

Girl, you can DM on Hostel World.

[Rachel Hampton]

You can DM on Hostel World.

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, it's like hipster tourist grindr.

[Rachel Hampton]

That low key seems to be what it's giving. Yes. So Drew DMs Oliver. Like, I owe you for taking such good care of me. Dinner tonight, on me.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew hears a little notification sound from Hostelworld, and Oliver responds like, I'd love to. With A little smiley face. Just name the time and place.

[Sam Sanders]

Mm.

[Rachel Hampton]

So a few hours later, Oliver and Drew meet up in the historic center of Cartagena at a restaurant that has, like, linens on the table and low music playing and candles lit. Like everything is screaming date in capital letters.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Including the flirty little banter between Oliver and Drew.

[Sam Sanders]

Love it.

[Rachel Hampton]

So they continue the night after dinner with a romantic little stroll through the city. They're walking slowly, allegedly, because of Drew's fucked up leg. We all know that's not why they're walking slowly.

[Sam Sanders]

They're falling in love.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, this is low key, giving Florence Nightingale, but a plot's a plot, plot's a plot. Eventually, they find a bench by the beach, again, allegedly, to rest Drew's fucked up leg. But again, we all know what's really going on here. Drew is at the point where he's starting to feel, like, a little bit grateful for his fucked up leg.

[Sam Sanders]

That leg is helping erase hundreds of years of historical bad blood between the Brits and the Australians. Cause we know their history.

[Rachel Hampton]

This is a peace mission. The mission starts going even more successfully because Oliver kisses Drew. Oh, you're staying in a bunk room in a hostel. Do you try to hook up?

[Sam Sanders]

No.

[Rachel Hampton]

No.

[Sam Sanders]

At this point, you max out your credit card and get a hotel room.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew is like, my leg's honestly starting to hurt a little bit, and I'm not taking you back to my bunk room in a hostel. So they just end their night with a cute little makeout and make plans to meet up the following morning for breakfast.

[Sam Sanders]

Mm.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, something I forgot to mention about Drew is that he has boyfriend energy, but he's also kind of a hopeless romantic. He's just a little too into Lord Byron.

[Sam Sanders]

Mmm. Yeah. No, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

He loves the grand gesture.

[Sam Sanders]

He does. Handwritten letters, I bet you.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, his friends have told him that he can accidentally love bomb people.

[Sam Sanders]

It's never an accident.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, Drew's like. It's just because the bar for romance is so low these days.

[Sam Sanders]

Mm. Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew. Drew's one of those guys who was always the mess, but never thinks he's the mess. That's Drew. I'm feeling that. I'm starting to feel that. Let me not judge too early, but I'm starting to feel that that's the.

[Rachel Hampton]

Name of the game here. Judge early and often.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay. Okay. I'm in.

[Rachel Hampton]

The morning. After Drew and Oliver's makeout on the bench, Drew, like, hobbles his way around the neighborhood to prep a little Breakf for the two of them. He buys some jam and fresh bread. When he sees a little bouquet of flowers, he's like, why not? Let's set the mood.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, Drew is love bombing.

[Rachel Hampton]

Okay, Drew, if someone did this for me, I would be like, you wanna get married?

[Sam Sanders]

Exactly.

[Rachel Hampton]

You wanna have children with me?

[Sam Sanders]

Show me, like, what kind of green card do you need? You're coming home with me.

[Rachel Hampton]

With me immediately. We'll start that paperwork right now.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah. My auntie's on FaceTime. She wants to meet you. Like, it's happening.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. When Oliver sees Drew with all of his picnic supplies, Oliver is like, the shocked Pikachu meme. His, like, eyes wide open.

[Sam Sanders]

It's too much.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's a little bit like, damn, bitch, you live like this. He's like, this is the bare minimum. You deserve better than this. Oliver gives him one of his little fucked up winks that's not really a wink.

[Sam Sanders]

The blank, the blink.

[Rachel Hampton]

And he's like, I'm starting to think I do deserve better. They go have their little picnic, and they're resuming their flirty little banter. They're talking about their travels and their zodiac signs. Oliver is a Pisces. Drew is a Sagittarius.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oliver is telling Drew about his Venus in cancer when he's like, yeah, I can get attached to people a little bit too easily.

[Sam Sanders]

M.

[Rachel Hampton]

And then Oliver is like, and I definitely, absolutely believe in love at first sight.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, God. See, I almost wanted to be rooting for both of them.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

And now I take it back. They deserve whatever mess befalls them.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, okay, so now Drew is freaked out. Well, then Oliver turns to him and is like, what if I told you that I love you?

[Sam Sanders]

Wow.

[Rachel Hampton]

A man you have known for 30 hours has just asked you, what if I told you that I love you?

[Sam Sanders]

What do you do if I'm getting all these pick me vibes, Love bomb vibes, what we're going to do is hook up, and then I'm gonna, like, slow walk you for a few days, assess how I feel, and then reengage.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

Cause I am. Let me try the milk.

[Rachel Hampton]

You're like, all right.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah, let me try the milk. See how it runs through my system and then reassess. But there will be no saying, I think I love you.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, Drew is like, since we met yesterday, I would probably say, I don't love you back.

[Sam Sanders]

Yep.

[Rachel Hampton]

And Oliver sort of laughs and is like, yeah, you're right. It would be crazy if I said something like that. And then Oliver's like, but, you know, hypothetically, how do you feel about long distance girl? So Drew chokes on a passion fruit seed. At this point.

[Sam Sanders]

The symbolism there, choking on passion. Wow. Wow. Beautiful.

[Rachel Hampton]

Beautiful. He's like, my last relationship was long distance, and it really didn't work, which is a lie. Do you think that this answer that Drew has given Oliver will satisfy Oliver?

[Sam Sanders]

I bet you Oliver's like, well, we can do it better this time. I can beat that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. Drew is like, I don't even really want to give him the chance to respond. So to distract Oliver, he starts making out with him. A flawless plan that works, actually.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay, okay. Just shut up and kiss me. Literally.

[Rachel Hampton]

He manages to keep things light until they get back to the hostel. And Oliver's like, let me know your plans for tomorrow. And Drew's like, mm. Yep, I'll keep you posted. Bye. Huge news. Our dowager queen Kelsey McKinney wrote a new York Times bestselling book of beautiful essays about gossip. It's called you'd didn't hear this from me. Mostly true notes on gossip, and I am obsessed. It's about how we use gossip to learn about ourselves. It's about Britney Spears and West Elm, Caleb and Gilgamesh and Picasso. It's so fun. And not to be biased, but I kind of think it's pretty excellent. It's out right now in a hardback and a super sexy audiobook, which Kelsey narrates. You can buy wherever you buy your books. You can also go to KelseyMcKinneyBook.com to see all retailers. This episode of Normal Gossip is brought to you by booking.com Getting started on booking.com is super easy. In less than 15 minutes, you can register your property, and nearly half of partners get their first booking within a week. Plus, if you're already listed on another site, booking.com makes it easy to import your property info and get going right away. Whether you're looking to earn some extra income, fill those vacant weekends or grow your business, head over to booking.com to see how you can get started today. The reach is global, the bookings are consistent, and the control is yours. Booking.com is one of the most downloaded travel apps in the world that makes it the place to list your vacation rentals. If you want to earn more with consistent bookings, reach new markets and turn hosting into a steady income. For the bookings you've dreamed of, list your property on booking. Com. Anyone who knows me knows that I am absolutely terrible at returning things or canceling things. Like I will Let something sit in my house for months because I refuse to go to the post office. Because just the thought of all the logistics I'll have to go through sends me into a blind panic. This is why I love Rocket Money, because Rocket Money takes all the logistics out of my hands. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscription subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower bills so that you can grow your savings. See all of your subscriptions in one place and know exactly where your money is going. And for ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can help you cancel them. Rocket Money's dashboard is just so easy to use. It gives you a super clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. And Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total total of $500 million in cancel subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unaware subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.comGossip today. That's RocketMoney.comGossip RocketMoney.comGossip so Drew has just escaped Oliver. He gets back to his bunk room, and he meets two new people who have moved in.

[Sam Sanders]

Drew, stop meeting people. I think you're good.

[Rachel Hampton]

You're good on friends.

[Sam Sanders]

You're good on friends.

[Rachel Hampton]

These two new people will be referred to as the Canadians because they are from Canada. Drew and the Canadians vibe pretty well. So when the Canadians ask Drew if he wants to join them for a night out on the town, he immediately says yes, with that leg girl. But the plan for the night is to bar hop, so he feels optimistic that he'll be hopping on one leg. He's like, I'll be able to find a seat.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Hampton]

How do you feel about karaoke?

[Sam Sanders]

You know what? Actually, I fucking love it. It brings the people together.

[Rachel Hampton]

It does. Drew takes karaoke extremely seriously, but not in the annoying way. Not in the annoying way.

[Sam Sanders]

Not in the Bohemian Rhapsody way.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly.

[Sam Sanders]

That song is too goddamn long. Don't do it. And you can't hit the notes.

[Rachel Hampton]

No.

[Sam Sanders]

My Go to karaoke song. Salt and peppers. Push it.

[Rachel Hampton]

It's probably like 18 words and everyone knows them. That's. That's a great choice. Drew also has some staple songs, so he immediately sings with Arms Wide Open by Creed with the Canadiens.

[Sam Sanders]

Honestly, I have done Creed's Higher at karaoke. It works.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes. So they've just finished singing with arms wide open.

[Sam Sanders]

I take it back. I love this story. Now, they sang with their arms wide open.

[Rachel Hampton]

But then into the bar walks none other than Oliver Girl. The Canadians had been too friendly and had apparently posted about their karaoke night on the Hostel World app.

[Sam Sanders]

This is a problem.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, I have been betrayed by my one true love. The hostelworld app.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah. Also, gosh, talk about an agent of chaos. The Hostel World app.

[Rachel Hampton]

I know. 4.9 stars.

[Sam Sanders]

Oof.

[Rachel Hampton]

I know.

[Sam Sanders]

Messy, messy, mess, Mess.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oliver immediately sidles up to Drew, and he's like, you wanna sing a song together?

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, oh.

[Rachel Hampton]

Do you sing a song together? Oh, no, no.

[Sam Sanders]

I'd be like, you know, hitting those notes on that Creed song.

[Rachel Hampton]

I need to rest my voice.

[Sam Sanders]

Vocal rest, baby. Vocal rest.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, karaoke is a sacred where no one can be excluded. So he's like, yeah, sure, fine. He perhaps makes another mistake by letting Oliver pick the song.

[Sam Sanders]

See, we already know Oliver doesn't make great decisions. Doesn't think before he leaps.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew joins Oliver on stage, and the opening notes of Islands in the stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers start playing.

[Sam Sanders]

Wow, is that a lot? You know, I know the song and the melody. Never into the lyrics. Let's see. Is it like a love song?

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, I do have some choice lyrics for us. There are. Baby, when I met you There was a piece unknown. Oh, and then there's. The message is clear this could be the year for the real thing. Oh, and we cannot forget all this love we feel needs no conversation.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, no, I follow the lyrics. Now there's another line that says, I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb. What? I can't live without you if the love was gone oh, but that won't happen to us. And we got no doubt Too deep in love and we got no way out.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oliver is the human embodiment of the heart eyes emoji after this performance. But the thing is, Drew can't even deny that they crushed their performance. They have incredible chemistry.

[Sam Sanders]

Drew, Drew, Drew, Drew. How are you? Already that lost in the sauce?

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, Drew retreats into bro mode. He's like, dude, we did so good. And then he runs away to the bathroom. Did you like my bro voice?

[Sam Sanders]

I loved it. I loved it.

[Rachel Hampton]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Sam Sanders]

Love that code switch. Yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

So do you end your night here? Yes. Or do you try to keep the night going?

[Sam Sanders]

I am. Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

I. From the bathroom break. I sneak out.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes.

[Sam Sanders]

Maybe I'll even go back to the same hostel. Cause he Knows where it is.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. No, no, girl, I think that you're smarter than Drew because Drew is determined to keep the plot going. Drew.

[Sam Sanders]

Drew, what is your trauma? Drew?

[Rachel Hampton]

So he gathers the Canadians and is like, I heard about this incredible jazz bar. But the line apparently gets really long after 11, so we should head out. And they make their escape as Oliver is on stage singing A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton.

[Sam Sanders]

The mess en masse.

[Rachel Hampton]

They make it to the jazz bar, which is dim, and the music's so loud that Drew can, like, feel it in his bones. And it is absolutely free of Australians, so the vibes immaculate.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay. All right.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. Drew. And the Canadians stay until 1am when they get hungry, and they're like, let's go find a streetcar. And they find one. Drew's mouth is watering when he reaches for his fanny pack. And this is the first time that Drew realizes that his fanny pack is no longer around his waist.

[Sam Sanders]

Girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's fanny pack, that has not just his phone, but his wallet. Drew doesn't go out with his passport, so that's still back at the hostel.

[Sam Sanders]

Thank goodness.

[Rachel Hampton]

His plane ticket is on his phone.

[Sam Sanders]

No.

[Rachel Hampton]

And without his wallet, he can't pay for anything.

[Sam Sanders]

No.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew, have you ever been pickpocketed?

[Sam Sanders]

A car that I had years ago got broken into.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh.

[Sam Sanders]

But what I had was so raggedy. They literally just dropped the bag next to, like, the parking lot. I kid you not.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's, like, insult to injury.

[Sam Sanders]

They were like, we don't want this shit.

[Rachel Hampton]

Like, not only did we try to rob you, but we don't even want what you have.

[Sam Sanders]

Literally. Literally. Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew is drunk enough that he's not panicking at this moment yet. He hobbles back to the jazz bar, but the fanny pack isn't there, and no one has seen it. Drew goes from the jazz bar back to the karaoke bar. Still nothing. And at this point, the Canadians have thankfully lived up to their reputation, and they've been very kind. They've, like, helped Drew go from bar to bar. And at this point, they're like, listen, we'll cover you for the rest of the night, and you can use our phones tomorrow to sweat your shit out. We can at least get your plane ticket. Like, you can print it out.

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, when in doubt, call a Canadian.

[Rachel Hampton]

Except Drake. Not that one.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah, he don't count no more.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. So Drew's like, thank you so much. I appreciate it. And the Canadians are like, you wanna go to another bar, girl, you might.

[Sam Sanders]

Need to call it Drew. No, no, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. I feel like you would have gone home, like, two bars.

[Sam Sanders]

I would've gone. You know me. You know me very well.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, at this point, Drew's like, what else could go wrong? My leg is fucked up. My phone and wallet are gone. I have an Australian who is stalking me. So, like, fuck it, we ball. Let's go.

[Sam Sanders]

Wait, but you gotta say it in Drew's love bombing British accent. Bollocks. We ball. I don't know. That was bad.

[Rachel Hampton]

That was beautiful. We're keeping that.

[Sam Sanders]

Keep it.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew and the Canadians, they find another bar. The Canadians stay true to their word, and they cover Drew's tab. And they're not stingy either. So everyone's feeling real good. And Drew's almost forgotten about his lost fanny pack.

[Sam Sanders]

He's working through. He's working through.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, yeah. And then into the bar walks Oliver.

[Sam Sanders]

He's stalking him. The Australian is doing something suspect. The town ain't that small.

[Rachel Hampton]

At what point do coincidences count as stalking?

[Sam Sanders]

Listen, listen. Is it coincidence or is it stalking? Is it anxiety or is it intuition? I say yet again, Molly, you in danger, girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

At this point, you and Drew are now on the same wavelength. Because Drew's like, I'm done with this shit.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

And he finally just tells the Canadians what's going on. He's like, you see that guy over there who looks like, really Australian? He told me he loved me 24 hours after we met.

[Sam Sanders]

I bet you. And I'm gonna call it right now. Australian has the fanny pack. See, now I'm going full white lotus.

[Rachel Hampton]

As you should. I'm like, wait. And then Drew's like, I can't deal with this right now. Can we just leave? And the Canadians are rational people, and they're like, yeah, yeah, let's go, let's go. Let's get out of here. And they hustle Drew out of the bar before Oliver even gets a drink.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay. Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew's leg is hurting pretty badly at this point.

[Sam Sanders]

Cause he's been walking on it all night and singing karaoke like, come on, dude.

[Rachel Hampton]

But he also wants to see the ocean one more time before he leaves.

[Sam Sanders]

Every time I think I like Drew. Every time I think I like Drew, he does some bunk ass shit like this.

[Rachel Hampton]

What's a better place for an open wound than a place with sand?

[Sam Sanders]

The ocean at night.

[Rachel Hampton]

I will say it's a beautiful night. There's like a crescent moon in the sky.

[Sam Sanders]

All nights are beautiful. I'm not always. I mean, come on.

[Rachel Hampton]

I don't need to see them. I don't need to see it.

[Sam Sanders]

I don't need to see it.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. So they've just sat down on the beach. When Drew sees someone sitting on a bench in the distance.

[Sam Sanders]

Girl, it better not be someone blonde.

[Rachel Hampton]

Someone muscular. You better stop someone who looks Australian.

[Sam Sanders]

This is an erotic thriller.

[Rachel Hampton]

Fatal Attraction.

[Sam Sanders]

Was this a film released in the early to mid-90s starring Mickey Rourke? Oh, my God.

[Rachel Hampton]

Do you tell Oliver to go stop stalking you see?

[Sam Sanders]

Now, one, I would not have put myself in this situation.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. So it's three in the morning.

[Sam Sanders]

Every second of this story, they are straying further from God's light.

[Rachel Hampton]

And Drew continues straying because he's like, I'm drunk. I'm in pain. I've been robbed. The sanctity of karaoke has been taken from me, and I am so sick of this boyfriend energy curse.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, fuck this. I'm gonna go tell him off.

[Sam Sanders]

Tell him off.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew makes his way up the beach very slowly because, again, he's drunk and in pain.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

And in fact, Drew's going slowly enough that he has a chance to realize that the person on the bench is not Oliver. He's not even blonde. He's just sitting under his street legs.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, no, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew stops, and he's like, fuck, that could have been a disaster.

[Sam Sanders]

Could have been a disaster.

[Rachel Hampton]

And he's about to turn around to return to the Canadians when he hears, like, a really familiar sound. Again, Drew's drunk, so he can't quite place the sound. So he just kind of looks really closely at the man on the bench who is sitting next to a jacket that looks to be draped over something. Drew's like, am I plastered, or is that guy sitting suspiciously?

[Sam Sanders]

Mm.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, who the fuck sits crisscross applesauce on a bench at three in the morning?

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah, something's going on. Something's going on. And of course, Drew walks closer. I bet you. Oh, my God.

[Rachel Hampton]

Just as he's having this thought, the jacket makes that familiar sound again, and Drew is finally like, oh, it's the DM notification sound from the Hostel World app.

[Sam Sanders]

The real villain is the hostel app.

[Rachel Hampton]

Ban it from the Apple Store.

[Sam Sanders]

Literally.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew is suddenly possessed by that sort of, like, blinding conviction that only really, really drunk people have. Like, he literally told us in his email. I don't know how I thought this in my drunk brain, but I thought, my bag is under that jacket.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, main character, energy.

[Rachel Hampton]

What do you do?

[Sam Sanders]

I mean, what if it's just the guy on the bench's back.

[Rachel Hampton]

What if he has the hostile world ass?

[Sam Sanders]

Thank you. Cause, I mean, it seems like all the kids in this town do. Um, I'm gonna tell you what I would have done, which is never gotten into this situation. But I'm gonna predict what Drew is gonna do, and that is confront this stranger with his Canadians who deserve better.

[Rachel Hampton]

It's justice for the Canadians.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah. They ain't do nothing wrong.

[Rachel Hampton]

It's true.

[Sam Sanders]

They're just trying to help. Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

So the DM notification sound comes again, and Drew just doesn't think. He grabs the jacket.

[Sam Sanders]

He goes to this man on the bench who he does not know, does.

[Rachel Hampton]

Not know a complete stranger. He just grabs the jacket with that drunken conviction. But there, lying on the bench, is his fanny pack.

[Sam Sanders]

What, is there a crime syndicate off the hostel app?

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew does not have time to think about that. He throws the jacket in the face of a guy who looks just as shocked as Drew does.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

He grabs his fanny pack, and then he runs as fast as he possibly can.

[Sam Sanders]

What?

[Rachel Hampton]

Which is not very fast because his leg is fucked up. But the Canadians, who have done nothing wrong and everything right, have already come to look for him. So they meet him halfway down the beach, and they're like, where did you go? What just happened? Who is that guy? And Drew's like, I just experienced a miracle is what happened. Wow.

[Sam Sanders]

I need to know so many things, and I'm feeling like we might end this conversation with still some unanswered questions.

[Rachel Hampton]

And that's the normal gossip promise is an unanswered question.

[Sam Sanders]

Ooh, what a ride.

[Rachel Hampton]

So Drew tells the Canadians what happened, and they're like, wait, so who was DMing you? So much? Like, what was going on? And Drew's like, oh, my God, I was so caught up in the moment, I haven't even checked my inbox.

[Sam Sanders]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Hampton]

Who do you think was DMing us?

[Sam Sanders]

I was Australian. Baby, I can't live without you. Come back. We'll live in Perth.

[Rachel Hampton]

Melbourne. He opens the hostelworld app, opens his inbox, and is greeted by a series of increasingly drunken messages from none other than Oliver that are all like, hey, babe, babe beats tonight, my love beats tonight. I mean, in a way, Oliver was Drew's miracle.

[Sam Sanders]

I mean, none of them feel like miracles right now. This is wild.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew has incredible luck in a way that astonished me when I read this email.

[Sam Sanders]

I must say, Drew, you're lucky to be alive. What does Drew end up doing with all these DMs from the Australian?

[Rachel Hampton]

Well, the next Morning. Drew runs into Oliver at breakfast. Girl, do you talk to him? No.

[Sam Sanders]

No, you cannot talk to him under any circumstance. No.

[Rachel Hampton]

Well.

[Sam Sanders]

Oh, my God.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's grateful enough to have his phone back that he tells Oliver the whole story. And Oliver is shocked.

[Sam Sanders]

Well. And Oliver's definitely like, oh, I'm in now.

[Rachel Hampton]

And then he's like, sounds like I should keep blowing your phone up, girl.

[Sam Sanders]

And what does Drew say to this? This is wild.

[Rachel Hampton]

Drew's like, ah. And then makes his escape. And that's basically the end of our story. Do you block Oliver on Instagram? He inevitably sends you a follow request after this.

[Sam Sanders]

I know Drew didn't. I know Drew didn't. So many red flags and so many people waving them with joy.

[Rachel Hampton]

Just an army of red flags.

[Sam Sanders]

An army of red flags.

[Rachel Hampton]

A United nations of red flags.

[Sam Sanders]

On. So Drew made it okay?

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes. Drew made it home okay. He did not have gangrene. He got his legs seen too.

[Sam Sanders]

Okay.

[Rachel Hampton]

So he's okay.

[Sam Sanders]

I gotta go have a cigarette. I gotta bring myself down. Y' all got me riled up. Drew. We're here to help Drew.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, you deserve better than us. We can help you.

[Sam Sanders]

I'm gonna send you a note to send to Drew.

[Rachel Hampton]

Okay?

[Sam Sanders]

It's about self care. It's about boundaries. It's about a lot. Oh, Drew.

[Rachel Hampton]

We'll pass it along.

[Sam Sanders]

Please do.

[Rachel Hampton]

That'll be the first time that's happened. Thank you for listening to normal gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email [e-mail] or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 GOSSIP. If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or a friend of a [e-mail] you can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok ormalgossip. You can follow me on all social media at heydanae H y. This podcast was produced by Sierra Spragley Ricks and J. Tol Vieira. Thank you to Samantha Gatzick, our audio engineer and thank you to Danielle Hewitt for your additional production help this season. The co creators and dowager queens Normal Gossip are Alex John Laughlin and Kelsey McKinney. Justin Ellis is defectors projects editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are defectors business guys. Alex Sujong Lafitt as defectors to supervising producer Tom Ley is our editor in chief. Dan McQuaid runs our merch store which you can find at normalgossip store. Tara Jacoby designed our show art. Thank you to Katherine Chu, Brandi Jensen, Louise Payas Pumar, Chris Thompson, Jasper Wang, Sabrina Embler, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford and Ray Ratto for all your help on this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton. And remember, you didn't hear this from me.

[Sam Sanders]

Radiotopia.

[Rachel Hampton]

From prx.