Bonus Episode: Shout Out to the Divas with Jonquilyn Hill

Summary

Normal Gossip: “Bonus Episode: Shout Out to the Divas with Jonquilyn Hill”

Podcast: Normal Gossip
Episode: Bonus Episode: Shout Out to the Divas with Jonquilyn Hill
Date: March 25, 2026
Host: Rachel Hampton
Guest: Jonquilyn Hill (JQ)

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Overview

In this lively and hilarious bonus episode of Normal Gossip, host Rachel Hampton and guest Jonquilyn Hill (JQ) respond to a series of outrageous, strange, and very human listener-submitted gossip stories. Tied together by themes of ingenuity, boldness, and a bit of chaos, each story introduces its own “diva”—someone in the tale who makes a strong, sometimes wild, choice that leaves the hosts (and listeners) equal parts bewildered and impressed. Whether navigating household negotiations, unveiling workplace secrets, or grappling with spicy consequences, the duo celebrates the audacious personalities at the heart of each saga.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. The TaskRabbit Chair Caper

[04:00–10:28]

• Story Recap: A wife, frustrated by her husband’s inability to let go of an unsafe, splintery old kid’s desk-chair, hires a TaskRabbit to pretend to be a Facebook Marketplace buyer, staging its removal for the “right person” (a faux nephew from Dublin).
• Hosts’ Reaction: Both Rachel and JQ marvel at the wife’s clever problem-solving.
  • “Why don’t you hire a task rabbit to be an actor to pretend to take this away? Would never cross my mind. And that's why she's a high powered. This is why she has it all.” – JQ [07:33]
  • “She’s the original girl boss, in a way.” – Rachel [07:52]
• Memorable banter: Discussion about what jobs can be found on TaskRabbit and how one might request an “acting” gig.
• Underlying theme: The ingenuity of women who just “think differently” in domestic disputes.

2. The $80 Gossip Bomb: “My Conception Story”

[10:43–21:13]

• Story Recap: A caller reveals that her parents met on a university hiring committee in 1980s Florida, began a passionate secret romance, and when her mother couldn’t hide the pregnancy any longer, she sold the story for $80 to the workplace “gossip,” weaponizing the office grapevine.
• Hosts’ Reaction: Pure delight at the audacity and creativity.
  • “The idea of getting gossip so good, you're like, yeah, I'm a pay for that. That’s amazing.” – JQ [14:12]
  • “Imagine paying $300…for a piece of gossip. I think it was worth it.” – Rachel [14:37]
  • “She’s an icon, but I imagine that the caller’s childhood has…there are some stories.” – Rachel [20:54]
• Notable Quote: “I love this caller’s mother so much…she’s an icon.” – Rachel [20:54]
• Discussion: Boomers’ chaotic love stories, norms around workplace romance, and daring to make the office gossip pay to distribute the “hot news.”

3. The CEO’s “Holiday” Birthday Bash

[24:15–30:43]

• Story Recap: A software engineer attends a “company holiday party” only to discover it’s actually the CEO’s birthday party—he uses the company’s resources every year to host his personal celebration, inviting colleagues and (many more) friends, sans plus-ones.
• Hosts’ Reaction: Shock and admiration for the CEO’s bold shamelessness.
  • “This is a misuse of company resources.” – Rachel [28:23]
  • “He is scamming…There are so many divas in these stories. I would never think to do this.” – JQ [28:43]
  • “I’m immediately over here like, embezzlement. You’re embezzling. Allegedly.” – Rachel [29:19]
• Theme: Everyone at the party (except the CEO) seems baffled but the hosts cannot help but respect the hustle.

4. The Aquarium Breadcrumbs House

[30:43–36:25]

• Story Recap: A teacher living in a housing share in England discovers the house’s “breadcrumbs” are stored in a full-sized aquarium off the kitchen—a detail she totally missed until roommates pointed it out.
• Hosts’ Reaction: Amazement and genuine confusion.
  • “That’s so much breadcrumbs. What are you…How…” – Rachel [33:07]
  • “There is stuff where you’re like, I’m not even gonna…that’s none of my business.” – JQ [35:08]
  • “I understand…being like, the fish tank full of breadcrumbs is not my business.” – Rachel [35:16]
• Fun Research: JQ Googles images of fish food vs. breadcrumbs to check if confusion’s possible.
• Commentary: “When you live In a group house with a bunch of people, there is stuff where you’re like, I’m not even gonna—that’s none of my business.” – JQ [35:08]

5. The Hot Pepper Prostate Incident

[37:10–44:33]

• Story Recap: After a hot pepper eating contest, a male caller, experiencing bizarre bodily symptoms, wrongly suspects an STD, confronts recent partners, and finally learns that excessive capsicum can inflame the prostate and cause “spicy,” alarming aftereffects.
• Hosts’ Reaction: Peak hilarity, gentle ribbing, and genuine curiosity.
  • “Every story has in common—a diva of some sort.” – JQ [40:25]
  • “We did not say a smart man. But a good one. And that’s okay. That’s even better sometimes.” – Rachel [41:58]
  • “Spicy cum. Is that what happened?” – Rachel [43:11]
  • JQ, ever the scholar, (on Google, incognito): “Does semen come from the prostate? Yes, the prostate gland contributes to the production of semen.” [43:45]
• Memorable advice: “Men, go to the doctor…Also, can you drink some water, please?” – JQ [43:54]
• Endnote: Rachel lauds this story as a fantastic “group voice memo”—encourages others to do the same.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• JQ on ingenuity: “Why don’t you hire a task rabbit to be an actor…that would never cross my mind. And that's why she's high powered.” [07:33]
• Rachel on gossip-for-cash: “Imagine paying $300…for a piece of gossip. I think it was worth it.” [14:37]
• On CEO's scam: “This is a misuse of company resources.” – Rachel [28:23]
• Aquarium breadcrumbs: “That’s so much breadcrumbs. What are you…How…” – Rachel [33:07]
• On the last story: “Spicy cum. Is that what happened?” – Rachel [43:11]
  “We did not say a smart man. But a good one.” – JQ [41:58]

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Thematic Highlights

“Shout Out to the Divas”

• The episode circles back to a celebration of the “divas”—people who try a little too hard, scam a little, or simply cannot be stopped when they set their mind on a solution (or a scandal).
• Running joke: “There are so many divas in these stories.” – JQ [28:43]
  Episode conclusion: “Shout out to the divas.” [44:39]

Tone and Style

• Conversational, witty, and deeply empathetic—Rachel and JQ maintain a supportive, lightly teasing tone about the wild choices described.
• The hosts regularly break to do research, riff on personal experiences, and gently rib each other (and sometimes themselves) about their own observational or problem-solving skills.

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Segment Timeline

• [04:00–10:28] : The TaskRabbit Chair Capers
• [10:43–21:13] : My Conception Story, The $80 Secret
• [24:15–30:43] : The Holiday-Birthday Party Scam
• [30:43–36:25] : Aquarium Breadcrumbs Shared House
• [37:10–44:33] : The Hot Peppers Prostate Disaster

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect sampler of why Normal Gossip is beloved: ordinary people, extraordinary choices, and the endless delights of well-told, very human secondhand stories. With every morsel, Rachel and JQ remind us: divadom is for everyone, and sometimes the truth really is stranger—and funnier—than fiction.

Transcript

[Robin]

Hey there, it's Robin from prx and I'm so excited to tell you about Radiotopia's newest show, Amityville Ville. Alex Goldman, host of Hyperfixed and former host of Reply all teams up with his close friend, journalist and supernatural phenomena enthusiast Carolyn Thompson to review all 91 movies in the Amityville franchise. Inspired by the true story of the DeFeo murders in 1974, the Amityville Horror became the second second highest grossing movie when it came out in 1979. Inspiring books, documentaries, and of course a sprawling and bizarre film franchise. Along the way, some enterprising filmmakers realized you can't copyright the name Amityville, which has led to a total of 91 movies in the franchise, including titles like Amityville, Elevator, Amityville, Outhouse, Amityville, Job Interview, even Amityville in Space. And yes, these are all real movies. The show will feature recaps of all 91 movies in the order they were released and there will also be special one off episodes featuring interviews with the people involved in making of the films or even in the investigation of the alleged haunting. At 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, N.Y. the show weaves cinema, pop culture, true crime, the Ghost Hunter industrial complex, and a couple of horror fans chopping it up. Don't miss it.

[Rachel Hampton]

Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm your host Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast we are going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Now this is actually Rachel of the

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

past speaking to you. Rachel of the present is somewhere in

[Rachel Hampton]

Mexico enjoying her life and not looking at her phone. Rachel of the past, however, did feel

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

a little bit guilty about not being

[Rachel Hampton]

able to produce a season nine finale and also wanted to give you guys a little bit of gossip to tide you over between seasons.

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

We know we're taking a bit of a longer break this time.

[Rachel Hampton]

We really want to make sure season 10 all stars is as good as it possibly can be, which means we're going to take our time with it.

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

But also, we are benevolent here at Normal Gossip.

[Rachel Hampton]

So we are repeating some actions. We are doing what we did last month in February, which is giving you

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

one of our subscriber episodes from last year.

[Rachel Hampton]

That is just me and a guest

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

responding to some gossip that we had not heard before. And this episode, y'.

[Rachel Hampton]

All. Well, let me be honest, I got

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

a little high before this episode.

[Rachel Hampton]

You can maybe tell once you start listening to it, but I remember very

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

vividly the last gossip morsel in this episode, which features none other than jonquyn Hill.

[Rachel Hampton]

And it's a doozy. If you listen to this with children,

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

maybe listen to the last gossip morsel

[Rachel Hampton]

by yourself first and then decide whether

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

or not you want to explain things to your children.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's all I'm going to give.

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

That's all the spoilers I'm going to give.

[Rachel Hampton]

But this episode is truly so fun.

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

I love JQ so much. It was such a delight to do

[Rachel Hampton]

this episode and I hope you guys enjoy it. Jq, thank you so much for joining me again.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Of course. I'm happy to be here. You know, I'm always happy to gossip.

[Rachel Hampton]

I am so excited. Not least because the gossip you brought me in the episode that we did, I still think about to this day. So I have a feeling you're going to be a great companion for this ride.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. You know, I think about that piece of gossip too. I'm just like, I hope that lady's doing well and that man is not.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly. Exactly. We're on the same page. All right, perfect. Let's go.

[Caller 1 (England story)]

Yeah.

[Caller 2 (TaskRabbit story)]

So I have this friend, amazing person. She's a great friend, super generous. She's a great mom. She's like really successful in this high powered corporate job and her husband is a little bit of a semi hoarder. So she was constantly trying to declutter her house because the husband just wouldn't let anything go. And one of the things he wouldn't let go was like this kids chair attached to a desk. You know how like especially it seems like old timey schools would have the desk attached to the chair. And it's just not even good for her own kids to use because it's like the wood's all splintery and there's a nail head sticking out. And it was just nobody was getting any use out of it. But her husband was like not willing to let this go unless this went to like a family with a child who could enjoy it. He just had this vision in his head. So she like gets on Facebook Marketplace and tries to sell it and tries to find it. And like, she's just not finding, you know, somebody who's willing to take this thing. So then she has the genius idea that she should hire a task rabbit to pretend like they are picking it up and buying it from Facebook Marketplace for their small child. So she hires this guy. She's like, he was incredible. He came in and he was like, no, my nephew is coming to live with me from Dublin and I'm going to give this to him. And it's. It's so beautiful like that. It's been lived in and loved. And I am just. I thank you. Thank you so much. And she made sure to tip him very well.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Also, it's funny. Can I just say it was funny because old timey, I'm like, oh, that was elementary school.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, I was like, what do you mean by old timey? What kind of seats do you have in school?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Now I'm also just like, maybe my elementary school. My elementary school was like an Albert elementary type, so maybe we were behind.

[Rachel Hampton]

I went to public school in Texas, so.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Oh, girl, they. You're lucky you escaped. No, let me not do that to the.

[Rachel Hampton]

No. And you're right. And you're correct. I'm lucky.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Did you learn about slavery? Probably not.

[Rachel Hampton]

I learned it wasn't a cause of the civil war.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, I can I also say I'm not ready to be married because the way I would have just been like, I'm gonna just get rid of this when you're not at the house. What you gonna do?

[Rachel Hampton]

No, what are you gonna do if it's gone? She could have lied. Like, there were so many steps before this. But I guess to break this down chronologically, I really need to know more about this semi hoarder husband because why do you want to give away a splintery seat so bad? Like, what child deserves a splintery seat? This is like how they gave one pair of toms away to kids, but they fell apart.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

And it sounds like there's no sentimental value.

[Rachel Hampton]

He just needs it to go to a happy home.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Like, sir, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, I have a lot of questions for him. I think the wife is ingenious in her solution making. Because hiring a task rabbit to be an actor is like, I would never. What did she look up on task Rabbit? What task did she look up on task Rabb guy to come and pretend

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

to pick this up. I sit in the woods on a log for decades and the idea. Why don't you hire a task rabbit to be an actor? To pretend to take this away would never cross my mind. And that's why she's a high powered. This is why she has it all. I don't have it all. That's why she has it all. Because she thinks differently than I do.

[Rachel Hampton]

I clearly. She's the original girl boss, in a way. I'm so loud.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

What's her name? Sophia. What's her face? Is that you? I read that book and lean in very Earnestly. When I was 25.

[Rachel Hampton]

We all make mistakes when we're 25. Listen, that's what being 25 is for, actually.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

It is, yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

This Dublin. This man said, my nephew is coming from Dublin. He deserves some kind of award, some kind of Emmy.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Get Denzel on the phone. Get, like, you know how he paid for. I think he paid for, like, Chadwick Boseman to go to Yale drama school or something.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, yes, yes.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's what we need for this young man.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, exactly. Denzel Washington also, I think, helped Glen Powell, who I always want to call Glenn Close. And also Austin Butler.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

He helped his own son, which is one of my favorite pieces of gossip.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Y' all can't see the face I'm making, but I am, like, really makes you think. Really makes you think.

[Rachel Hampton]

It really makes you think.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

It really makes you think.

[Rachel Hampton]

We are going far afield. How much does she pay the TaskRabbit?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

You know what? My guess is maybe the TaskRabbit was trash removal. I don't know if that's an option for task.

[Rachel Hampton]

I mean, yeah, you can have someone come pick up stuff and just take it to a dumpster. I've done that before.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah. Like, task Rabbit built my bed. Cause my boyfriend, who I was with broke up with me before I could build my bed. And I was like, dang, I need somebody to do this. Let me open up the app.

[Rachel Hampton]

Could have just waited a week.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Like, hello. He did hang some shelves, though. I think he knew he was going to break up with me, so he was like, let me get this. And you know what? For that still, fuck him.

[Rachel Hampton]

But no, literally, bare minimum.

[Caller 1 (England story)]

Yeah.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Bare the bars on the ground. Yeah. And just to be like, hey, when you come pick this up, I need a favor.

[Rachel Hampton]

I hope that the husband finds out someday and, like, perhaps goes and see a professional about his hoarding tips to talk to some. Yeah. Needs to go talk to somebody. Your wife is going to extreme lengths to stop you from having to deal with this.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

And I could only imagine they were probably fighting over that chair, like, actively. Like, I could just hear me. Like, what do you want? What do we have to do? I work so hard.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, literally, day in, and you keep day out.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Crap into the house. I can't come home to a clean house. Like, I can hear it. I can hear it.

[Rachel Hampton]

I hope that the removal of that chair felt like some kind of burden lifted off of her shoulders. At the very least. Yes.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

She'd be, like, relief reclaiming her house.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly. Exactly. Even if just for a moment. You deserve peace Queen shout out to you. Okay, what's the next morsel? That one was great. We're starting off on a high note.

[Caller 3 (Conception story)]

My gossip story is about my conception, which took place in the 1980s Florida. So you kind of have like a visual sense of the amount of day glow. My mom was on the hiring committee at the university where she worked. And the dean or somebody, before they went into one of the interviews for a new professor, she said, oh, this guy we're about to interview, you're gonna love him. And. And that turned out to be my father. Important detail. I guess they were both separated at the time that they met. It was scandalous. Oh, and like one very cute detail. And this is very my dad. One of the first things she noticed about him on the day of the hiring committee was that he was wearing a very crisp, very cheap suit with the tags still sticking off the sleeve. So he and she just basically like immediately fall like headlong into incredibly like passionate love with each other. There's like no time in there. They just like basically love at first sight, as far as I can tell. And I don't know how long they were secretly together before I was conceived, which my mom has told me so many times, very disturbingly on the beach. I don't know why I felt like an important detail, but. And then, so then my mom was pregnant. And you know, there's like this countdown clock of like, you can only hide that from your co workers at the university for so long. So some months go by and they're kind of working out their interpersonal stuff with their exes. I think some divorce papers come into play and. But the people at the university still don't know this. And right when my mom was just about to pop and it wasn't going to be something she could hide any longer.

[Rachel Hampton]

She.

[Caller 3 (Conception story)]

And this is like very much the chaos demon energy that my mom has. For better and for worse. She went to the university gossip and he was like the person who would always spill the tea on everything. And she sat him down in the lunchroom and she said to him, I'm gonna tell you something. I'm gonna give you a piece of information and you can be the one to share it. I have told nobody else this piece of information and I'm giving it to you. And if you think it's worth it, I want you to give me $80. And I mean, I haven't done the math for what that is, inflation wise from 1985, but. And then she told him, I'm Pregnant with this child, and he went to the ATM, got $80, gave it to her, and went and told all of their colleagues this amazing piece of gossip. So, yeah, so gossip is, like, the foundation of my story on Earth.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That is the best. That is amazing because. Okay, I. There are several. Rachel, there are several things.

[Rachel Hampton]

No.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Can I go?

[Rachel Hampton]

Go, go, go, go.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Okay, I'm going to. I'm going to work backwards. 1. The idea of getting gossip so good, you're like, yeah, I'm a pay for that. That's amazing.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, so hold on. While you're. I'm gonna Google, how much is $80 from 19?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That was not.

[Rachel Hampton]

Inflation is crazy. It's about $313.64.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Period. Period. Even if she was born in the later 80s. I know that's right. Like, that is good.

[Rachel Hampton]

Imagine paying 300American dollars for a piece of gossip. I think it was worth it. I think it was worth it.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, I would be. If someone came to me in this situation, I would feel two ways, because, one, I'm like, dang, I'm known as the gossip reputation. But also, it's a thing of, like, I'm happy to use my powers for good girl. If this is what you want, I got you. Be like, yeah, I'd be honored.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. Yes. No, exactly.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I could definitely, like, be like, okay, we had lunch. Like, I'll get some drink with some coworker and be like, also, wouldn't it

[Rachel Hampton]

be so just delicious to be in the position of having information no one else does and being charged with disseminating it? Like, you can tell everyone. You don't even have to keep a secret, but you know you have information that's going to make everyone in the room's jaw drop. That's incredible.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I would honestly sit on it for 30 minutes just to be like. Just to, like, relish.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, exactly.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Honestly, it's not. I do not like spreading gossip. I like being told gossip and having the information, doing nothing with it, but just being like, I am aware. I'm aware of what's going on in the world around me that can help me make informed decisions, that can help me not put people in uncomfortable situations that just. I just like knowing. Yeah, I also. And with the main story, what I love about almost every boomer, and I think people have lost sight of this, and I think this is part of the reason dating is difficult. Because I admit this is not a life that I am about almost every boomer love story is some sort of like, oh, yeah, I was dating a Couple guys, like, your dad was at my law school graduation, and this other guy I was talking to was at my law school graduation. And over time, like, your dad was just the one who was around.

[Rachel Hampton]

Uber's really believed in not letting your marriage get in the way of finding the love of your life at all.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, everyone, like, online is very much like, ew, dating someone you work with. And granted, again, not my ministry. I've never done it, like, also with. Honestly, within the industry I work in, not a lot of the types of men that I go for.

[Rachel Hampton]

What kind of choice do you have at work? I've been in media circles. We've all seen what's out there.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah, it's like, it's just not my listen. And some of the girls love it. They love it. And for that, I am. But there's a reason why everyone at the New York Times is married to each other. Yes, there's a reason everyone at NPR is married to each other. Like, these people at work, they're flitting and flirting and going on dates and getting married, and then where do you think Nepo babies come from? People be at work.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly. Exactly. I mean, someone. And by someone, I mean the drag queen Trixie Mattel once made the point that meeting a man at work is one of the only ways you can meet a man as a woman and, like, know that he's, like, kind of invented a little bit. Like, you know, that he had to pass probably a background check. You know, that he's employed. You know, he has health insurance. Like, you know, like, you. You're. And you're in an environment that's, like, pretty safe.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah, it happens.

[Rachel Hampton]

It happens.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

It's that thing of, like, you should

[Rachel Hampton]

probably disclose to your boss the fact that she's on the hiring committee.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah, that's wild. That's wild, girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

That one did throw me for a loop. That one did throw me for a loop. Like, I'm all like, I'm maybe 50, 50 on workplace relationships. Like, the. It depends on the power dynamic. But this is. This is. Your mother is messy.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also on the beach, I want to

[Rachel Hampton]

know where I've been conceived.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

But was it because, like, they had to sneak around, or was it just a Roman? Like, they were like, they are these people who are. It's like love at first sight, our passion. We. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I know. If her mom gets a glass of chardonnay in there and they play Brown Eyed Girl on the dance floor, like, you ever see, like that. And they're like, oh, they. They are still.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, they're still. They're still very horny for each other.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah. It's like, oh, y' all are getting down.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. And on some level, I love that for your mom. I hope to experience that level of intensity at some point in my life, because certainly no one's done it for me so far yet. Yet. Exactly. There's a lot of life left to live. And famously, your 20s suck.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Actively bad. Actively garbage.

[Caller 3 (Conception story)]

Doo, doo.

[Rachel Hampton]

So I have plenty of time. But I love this for your mother. It is so wild to be like, I'm on my hiring panel. Here I am asking you interview questions. Also, you want to get a drink later? Like, how did the sequence of events, how soon after his hiring day did you get with him? Did that perhaps influence your choice to

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

say that he should be like, wow, he's hot.

[Rachel Hampton]

Actually, the one who was most qualified for that position.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Listen, she found a position also. Who hit on who, because, like, maybe he made the first move, which apparently was mutual. Hitting on your boss is. Well, I don't know if it was boss, but, like, hitting on that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Even on the hiring committee, like, we've both done interviews that are, like, panel interviews. I would never hit on any of those people.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

No, no, no, no. And I've been on hiring committees. I've never. No, exactly.

[Rachel Hampton]

Same. No, There is never a moment in any of them where I'm like, ooh, my future husband.

[Caller 3 (Conception story)]

At all. At all.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Especially, like, now I know what you make.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, exactly. She's like, now I know you have dental. She's like a secure man. Let me lock it down. I. I love this story. I do. It makes me wonder because the caller is like my chaos demon of a mother. I wish to hear more stories from your childhood. I want to know what it was like growing up in the household with these two.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Like, again, when I say, as a. Like, this diva, I would never think any. Okay, I need this information to get out. I like, not a. All right, I'm going to sit down with my boss. I'm going to write a letter. Let's do lunch. Just being like, I am going to find the person who cannot hold water, not only tell them gossip and get them to do that for me, but get them to give me money.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, it's really. I. I love this caller's mother so much. Like, she's an icon, but. But I imagine that the caller's childhood has. There are some stories. Being the child of an icon sounds like a rough time.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Listen, listen. We have to ask this woman and Blue Ivy, how do you do it? No, literally exactly.

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[Rachel Hampton]

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[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

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[Rachel Hampton]

Oh I love that. These are so good so far. Like we're on such a high. What can possibly be next?

[Ad Voice 1 (Warby Parker)]

Hi Normal Gossip so my partner is a software engineer and he started a new job during the pandemic that's fully remote. So he works from home. He has some colleagues in the city that we live in, but he also has colleagues in a different country. And because he works for a tech company and it's quite small, it's not the most, like, social environment. And there's really doesn't seem to be a lot of, like, social interaction outside of their everyday work, which I don't fully understand. Like, I think a core aspect of work is, like, gossiping with your colleagues, but they. They keep it, like, pretty on task. And so he's been working there for about two years now. And because it was mostly during the. The peak pandemic, they. There hasn't really been any, like, social activities. But this year I was surprised to find out that they are actually having a holiday party. And keep in mind that my partner found this out, like, a week before the party was supposed to happen. So a week before the party, he gets a message saying, oh, we're actually doing a holiday party this year. It's going to be on Friday. Here's the address. Hope to see you there. And I'm confused because these people have worked together for a few years now, but I don't. I, like, genuinely don't think they've ever had social conversations. So in my mind, I'm like, this is gonna be a really brutal party. Like, I can't imagine what you would have to talk about. And on top of that, I think he only has about, like, 15 other colleagues in our city. So it's gonna be a small group, and they don't really know each other. And instead of it being like a dinner where you could maybe talk a little bit, it was at an event space. And so I'm, like, very interested about how this party is going to go. I'm not invited. I'm sitting at home, not going. And my partner shows up to the party and he says, oh, there's like, a lot more people here than I thought there would be. And he walks around and he, like, spots one of the colleagues he actually does know. And they're both equally surprised that there seems to be a lot more people at this party than they think there are, based on how many people actually work for the company. And not only do they are there more people, but they don't recognize anybody. And they find this very odd, but they know that they're in the right place, so they just kind of go with it. And then they see their, like, CEO, who is the one that planned the party, and they go and they talk to him. And they're. They're just having like, casual conversation. And the CEO mentions a few minutes into their conversation that it's actually his birthday at midnight. And they go, oh, like, what a coincidence. Like, happy Birthday. That's so nice. Do you have anything planned? And this is when the CEO reveals that this is actually his birthday party that they're all at. And they just thought it was the company holiday party because that's how it was presented to them. But no, in fact, this is the CEO's birthday. And apparently before COVID he did this every year. But I guess uses the company Christmas party as his birthday party, inviting all of his friends. And my partner and his colleagues were just blissfully unaware of this. They had no idea. And the weirdest part is my partner does not find this weird. He told me the story being like, yeah, it turned out it was his birthday party.

[Rachel Hampton]

This is a misuse of company resources.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

No, he is scamming.

[Rachel Hampton]

He is scamming because the way you could definitely rent out an event space on the company dime and save so much. Like you could make your party huge every single year. If you say it's the company holiday party again.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

There are so many divas in these stories. I would never think to do this.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, this man is 100 scamming. I. Okay.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, why can't my boo come if everybody. I can't bring my man.

[Rachel Hampton]

No.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Why did.

[Rachel Hampton]

Why did they have plus ones? You are making. You're using company resources to pay for your party and telling me it's our holiday party and I can't even bring my spouse.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I have follow up questions because I want to know what the food and drink situation was like. And the decorations. Yes, but he's a software engineer. I love my stim boys. They do not be asking the right question.

[Rachel Hampton]

And they don't. I mean, the fact that he didn't think it was strange at all that his boss did this is on one hand that makes me feel very warmly towards him because I'm like, what a nice man. Like, what a sweetheart that you're like, why would that be weird? Meanwhile, I'm immediately over here like, embezzlement. You're embezzling? Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Allegedly. Okay, Wendy. Allegedly.

[Rachel Hampton]

I'm not trying to get sued by the CEO of this software engineering company.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

No. Maybe he paid for it himself and he's like, let's come.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, what? That's so generous of you to think that. That's so generous of you to think that. I think that that is an option. I Don't believe it. I don't believe it. I think he's scamming. I think he's doing it.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I do this. Unless you want to make your birthday the company holiday.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. I wish that the caller had been able to go, how many people were there? Yeah, how? Because the thing about New York, specifically Brooklyn, is every single time there's an empty storefront, it gets turned into an event space. And it's like the size of a bodega, which is not very big. So that's what I'm thinking when I hear event space. But there are really nice ones as well.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

There are.

[Rachel Hampton]

I need to know which one it was. All right, what's next? I really, I can't imagine.

[Caller 1 (England story)]

I lived and taught at a secondary school in England for about six months. And it was wild. So I was living in this house with these three other people who I had met online. I thought I knew what was, what the situation was. So I like met them online. They, they interviewed me over zoom. I like, paid my first rent. All of it is good. And at first I got there and I was super jet lagged and I thought it was fine. It was just like, the vibes were weird. I was like, okay, in a different country and I don't know anybody and it's probably just me. Well, it just kept getting weirder.

[Rachel Hampton (Past)]

So

[Caller 1 (England story)]

one day I was cooking in the kitchen and we had there in the kitchen, there was a glass container that was just labeled breadcrumbs. And so I used the last of the breadcrumbs in what I was cooking. And that Sunday I went out, I got more breadcrumbs, I bring it back, and I'm like, hey guys, where do we put the extra breadcrumbs? I filled up the little glass container and dead ass, one of my roommates looks at me and goes, why didn't you take them out of the aquarium? And I was shook. I, I, that was, it's the aquarium. What are you talking about? And they're like, oh, yeah, the aquarium. I so we had a room that was right off the kitchen next to the dryer. There was in a quick. There wasn't, there was like a full ass fish tank that was full of something. I didn't know what. Turns out it was breadcrumbs. But there was no way I was gonna know that. And I never used the aquarium breadcrumbs. I kept those breadcrumbs for myself.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Okay. I. Oh, wow.

[Rachel Hampton]

So. So aquarium breadcrumbs.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's weird.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's weird. When I need to ask you what you are. You. Is this just like a full fish tank full of breadcrumbs? Is that what I'm.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's what I'm imagining in my head.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's also what I'm imagining. And I cannot even imagine a reason why one would do that because a.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's so much breadcrumbs.

[Rachel Hampton]

What are you. How I. I go through a thing of breadcrumbs maybe over the course of a year. I don't use breadcrumbs that often.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Maybe they. Maybe they make a lot of meatballs and a lot. Making a lot of meatballs.

[Rachel Hampton]

Breading a lot of chicken fingers. Hello.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Like, they get that air fryer going. They are not playing. But also, there's food grade materials. You can't just be like. Like people who are like, oh, I put together a snack box and a tackle box. Baby, that's not for food. That is for fish hooks. The. We're. I mean, we're constantly covered in microplastics. Drinking from a water bottle right now with a plastic top. It's food grade. You are letting. You're not supposed to have that much. This is the microplastics. You have so much microplastics in your body. Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, they're having. They have more than the. Did you see that study? That was like. We all have like a fork, a plastic fork full of microplastics in our brain.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yes.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. They have more than a fork. They got a spoon too, up there. If they just are eating breadcrumbs out of the fish tank, what I want to know is, like, are they buying breadcrumbs in bulk and then decanting them into the fish tank?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Or they make all those breadcrumbs?

[Rachel Hampton]

That's even crazier. Is it. Is the fish tank sealed like that?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, why would I think to do that?

[Rachel Hampton]

Also, I. I'm judging the collar a little bit because. How did you not notice that?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Maybe she thought it was full of pebbles. Like, I'm like, oh, that's weird. There's fish food over there.

[Rachel Hampton]

I think I would recognize. I hope that if I were to be in the presence of a fish tank full of breadcrumbs, I would recognize what was in front of me. Hold on.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I'm looking up bread. I'm looking at pictures of breadcrumbs and then fish food. Yeah. Breadcrumbs and fish food look different.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah. Thank you for doing this research for us.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

But I will say, when you live In a group house with a bunch of people, there is stuff where you're like, I'm not even gonna. That's none of my business.

[Rachel Hampton]

I understand. Being like, the fish tank full of breadcrumbs is not my business. What I don't understand is not having clocked it before, it being pointed out to me.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah. To be like, you know, the fish tank, and it's like, oh, if it's

[Rachel Hampton]

a big fish tank and you're in a house share with four other people, there's not a. There's very limited common space that everyone has access to. I. How long into your tenure did you know about the breadcrumbs? If it was the first week, I'm gonna give you some slack. But, like, yeah, longer than that. I'm a little concerned about your observational skills, friend.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That was. That's so. I would have been so baffled living in that home.

[Rachel Hampton]

I would have been constantly on the

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

phone with my mom, just like, hey, hey, girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

Hey, girl. So something. Something weird happened. I think something weird happened.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Like, is this normal?

[Rachel Hampton]

No, exactly.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Depending on how old you are, sometimes you're like, maybe this is normal.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, exactly. And she's also. It's a different country. She's like, okay, they do put milk in bags here. So I guess they have aquariums full of bread.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

They get crazy.

[Rachel Hampton]

They say, jaguar good.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Jack, you are sigil.

[Rachel Hampton]

Exactly. Okay. We have had a lot today, and I can't imagine what this last voice memo is going to bring us. Are you ready?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

We've been on a journey. Yeah, yeah, I'm ready, girl.

[Rachel Hampton]

We've been on a little bitty ride. We've been to some places.

[Caller 4 (Hot peppers story)]

So we were all hanging out, and this fool encourages everyone to eat a bowl of hot peppers. Not, like, eat the whole bowl, but, like, compete. See who could eat the hot peppers.

[Rachel Hampton]

I mean, to be fair, I did not encourage anyone to do anything. I.

[Caller 4 (Hot peppers story)]

Right.

[Rachel Hampton]

But out a bowl of hot peppers.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

You put out the bowl of hot peppers, and then you said, I'm just gonna lay these right here. I did not say anything.

[Rachel Hampton]

I just put out a bowl of hot peppers.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

And I said, just so you know,

[Rachel Hampton]

those are hot peppers.

[Caller 4 (Hot peppers story)]

And then that spawned a, you know, kind of male like, well, I can eat a hot pepper challenge, where

[Ad Voice 1 (Warby Parker)]

all

[Caller 4 (Hot peppers story)]

three of the dudes sitting around the table started eating hot peppers. And I thought I was clever and I cheated. I swallowed the whole hot pepper. I didn't chew it at all. I, like, you know, crunched it a little and then swallowed it. I was like, I ate it. And. And it was fine. It was fine. Like, you know, there was no clear winner. Everybody suffered.

[Rachel Hampton]

Everyone lost a little.

[Caller 4 (Hot peppers story)]

Everyone lost a little that night. But in the following days, I lost the mud. So in subsequent days, much like I do, I pleasured myself and it was not normal. And I freaked out. I had just started dating what now is my fiance. So yay, yay for her sticking it out. And I freaked out. I was like, you know, I've slept with a couple of girls lately, and I don't know, I think I have an std. And I don't know who gave it to me. So I started calling all the girls I had sexual relations with, proceeded to have varying levels of confrontations with them regarding said std. And then it turned out, due to a doctor's visit, that I did not have an std. And thanks to web research, I found out that if you eat hot peppers, this is a thing that can happen to men. Basically, you like, injure your prostate.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I'm Googling. Can you.

[Rachel Hampton]

Okay, well, you Google. I would like to start from the beginning, which is that I love that this voice memo started with this man saying, this fool.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

No, that's when I heard that. I was like, I get a sense of where you're from. You are from. Yeah, you. There are big skies where you live.

[Rachel Hampton]

Somewhere with mountains. Yeah. But also him calling her a fool when she later clarifies that all she did was set a bowl of peppers in front of them and say, these peppers are hot. And the men in the room took that as a challenge. And for him to start off with being like, this fool, it's like, sir, you are the fool.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Every. You know what every story has in common? A diva of some sort.

[Rachel Hampton]

No, literally

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

every story has. Has someone who's like, you know what? I can be 10 times better.

[Rachel Hampton]

I didn't realize. I mean, you always hear about people being like, make sure your man drinks water so you don't have a terrible time. But, like, this is what happens when you eat too many hot peppers if you're a man.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Now, what y' all got going on over the years and in my business. But who knew? Not me.

[Rachel Hampton]

Certainly not me.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, the go. First of all, shout to you for like, contacting people, having open, honest conversations.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yes.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

What. What a conversation to have. Imagine being on the receiving end of that phone call.

[Rachel Hampton]

But also imagine getting the follow up text of, I don't have an std. I just ate too many spicy peppers. Like, imagine having a confrontation with like a one night Stand. And being like, someone has an std. And then him being like, well, well,

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

actually, I made a mistake. Maybe. I mean, and I don't know how this works, but maybe you should have gotten tested first, friend.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, actually, I love that he had the conversations before he got tested. That. Yeah, that's. That's a good man. I'm going to say, not the brightest or most logical.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

We did not say a smart man. But a good one.

[Rachel Hampton]

But a good one. And that's okay. That's even better. Sometimes. I'm going to be honest with you.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Truly. Truly. Oh, my gosh. And your fiance. Dang. Your fiance is ride or die.

[Rachel Hampton]

True. Good for her.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's a good story. That's such a good story.

[Rachel Hampton]

I hope you tell this at your wedding.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yeah. Someone needs to say it in a toast.

[Rachel Hampton]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I knew that after eating spicy peppers that like, pooping sucked, but like, oh, that's what I thought he meant.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I thought he was like, my butthole.

[Rachel Hampton]

That's what I thought he meant too, when he was like, I suffered the most over the next few years, few days. And I'm just like, yeah, we all. Yeah, you bleached your. Bathed it in hot, spicy fire. But this is. This is terrible. This sounds so painful. It's like having a uti, but, like, worse.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That is so crazy. Bodies. They are. They are always surprising me.

[Rachel Hampton]

They are. They are. They are wild. I will say I have a lingering question, which is that at some point he was like, you know, later in the week, I was pleasuring myself as one does. And then the story proceeded from there. Spicy cum. Is that what happened?

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

That's what I'm wondering. Like, was it the cum that was spicy or was his prostate from. Actually, this could be wrong. Maybe it doesn't come. I don't actually know.

[Rachel Hampton]

Does I need, like, a little more detail? And what are you Googling? Please tell me you're doing it on incognito mode.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Oh, incognito, of course. Does see, men come from.

[Rachel Hampton]

We have to leave this in.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Yes, the prostate gland contributes to the production of semen.

[Rachel Hampton]

Okay, okay. Wow. We've learned something.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I mean, and that health is really important.

[Rachel Hampton]

Like, get your prostate checked.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Men go to the doctor. Like, yeah, please, for the love of

[Rachel Hampton]

God, go to the doctor at least.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Also, can you drink some water, please? Like, no.

[Rachel Hampton]

Also that we're here.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

I have some requests to make.

[Rachel Hampton]

Oh, my God. You know, I did not know what we could possibly end on, given everything that we've gone through. Together today. And also this is the first group voice memo we've ever gotten. Please do this more. I love this. I love having all the different voices chiming in. Yeah jq, thank you so much for joining me. This was a blast. Of course.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Thanks for gossiping with me. I loved being on here and I loved all these divas.

[Rachel Hampton]

Shout out to the divas. We shout out to the divas. Thank you so much for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, that email is normal gossip defector.com or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 GOSSIP. If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or a friend of a [e-mail] you can follow the show on on Instagram and TikTok at normal gossip. Normal Gossip is hosted by me, Rachel Hampton. Our lead producer is Sierra Spragley Ricks. Our subscriber episodes are produced by J. Tolveira. The co creators and dowager queens of Normal Gossip are Alex Sujon Laughlin and Kelsey McKinney. Defectors Project Editor is Justin Ellis. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defectors business guys. Alex Suj, John Laughlin is Defector's Supervising producer. Tom Ley is our Editor in Chief. Thanks to the rest of the Defector staff, Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company and Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Please remember you did not hear this from me.

[JQ (Jonquyn Hill)]

Radiotopia from prx.