Heartbreak Glitch Loop with Brandy Jensen

Summary

Normal Gossip Podcast Summary: "Heartbreak Glitch Loop with Brandy Jensen"

Release Date: June 4, 2025

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Introduction to Sand Dollar Cove

In this episode of Normal Gossip, host Rachel Hampton is joined by guest Brandi Jensen, a culture editor at Defector, and Nigel Anderlan. Together, they delve into a fictional yet captivating gossip tale set in Sand Dollar Cove—a small, affluent seaside village located in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The village, once a haven for well-off retirees, is experiencing a wave of gentrification reminiscent of hotspots like West Palm Beach or the Hamptons.

Brandi Jensen [16:20]: "Which is also the name of a 2021 Hallmark movie starring Chad Michael Murray. Because I appreciate art."

Nigel Anderlan [16:57]: "Okay, love it."

Meet the Characters

Uncle Tony

Tony, affectionately known as "Uncle Tony," is a mid-40s electrician who manages his own company. Despite having no children, Tony compensates by being a go-to "uncle" figure for his extensive circle of friends. His unwavering loyalty is evident when his lifelong friend, Tammy, entrusts him with overseeing repairs on a rental property she inherited.

Brandi Jensen [17:25]: "Today, our friend of a friend is named Tony, and Tony is in his mid-40s."

Nigel Anderlan [17:38]: "I have friends with kids. I don't know that I've necessarily achieved Aunt Brandy level with any of them outside of my two actual legal nephews."

Tammy

Tammy, Tony's lifelong friend, recently inherited a rental property in Sand Dollar Cove from her grandmother. However, the property requires significant repairs, and Tammy, residing thousands of miles away, seeks Tony's expertise to manage the renovations and liaise with the tenant.

Foxy

Foxy is the current tenant of Tammy's grandmother's house. A retired nurse in her mid to late 50s, Foxy is a dedicated nudist who engages in elaborate writing rituals. Her quirky personality is complemented by her commitment to maintaining a harmonious and balanced life through various spiritual practices.

Brandi Jensen [23:03]: "She's got long dark hair and a gray streak at her temple. Like, it's giving Stacy London, which is exactly how I want to go."

Roy

Roy is the new neighbor residing in the adjacent gray glass box property. In his late 50s, Roy is recently divorced and has a penchant for playing Fleetwood Mac's "Silver Springs" while soaking in his hot tub. His somber demeanor and strict adherence to his nightly rituals contrast sharply with Foxy's vibrant and free-spirited nature.

Nigel Anderlan [35:22]: "But Foxy is persistent, so eventually she finds out that her neighbor's name is Roy."

The Brewing Conflict

Tony begins his role as the property manager by inspecting the rental property, only to discover it in disrepair. His meeting with Foxy reveals her eccentric rituals, such as an elaborate sweet tea serving ceremony designed to help drinkers "embody their highest self."

Brandi Jensen [24:31]: "After the tea is decanted, she pours it into two glasses with ice, but she pours it from a really high up... Foxy explains that this maneuver encourages the drinker of the sweet tea to embody their highest self."

Parallel to this, Roy's nightly ritual of playing "Silver Springs" becomes a source of tension. Foxy's own practice of screaming before writing disrupts Roy's peace, leading to conflict between the two neighbors.

Brandi Jensen [36:19]: "Foxy tells Uncle Tony everything she knows about the rich guy she shares a fence with."

Nigel Anderlan [36:19]: "How could Uncle Tony not love Stevie Nicks? Exactly right. They're witchy sisters."

Tony's Mediation Efforts

Recognizing the escalating tension, Tony steps in to mediate between Foxy and Roy. He proposes practical solutions, such as adjusting music volumes and scheduling writing hours to minimize disturbances.

Nigel Anderlan [46:02]: "I feel like you take advantage of this situation. You also... Why not give him something to focus on other than his own pain?"

Tony's attempts to broker peace include facilitating the "Wheatgrass Accords," where both parties agree to certain behavioral modifications to coexist peacefully.

The Wheatgrass Accords and Escalation

Tony introduces Roy to Foxy's wheatgrass concoctions, hoping to find common ground. However, the situation spirals when Roy's cat, Stevie, goes missing—a crisis that forces Foxy and Roy to collaborate in their search, inadvertently strengthening their bond.

Brandi Jensen [65:30]: "Foxy instructs Tony to give Roy the richest brew, but she says it's only because she thinks Stevie the cat is adorable."

As tensions mount, their shared experiences lead to mutual understanding and the eventual resolution of their differences.

Resolution and Friendship

After the successful reunion with Stevie, Roy and Foxy repair their strained relationship. The fence between their properties is restored with Roy's financial assistance, leading to a harmonious coexistence. Foxy's willingness to assist and Roy's softened demeanor illustrate the power of mediation and understanding.

Brandi Jensen [72:02]: "The detente was helped by the fact that the fence was fully repaired two weeks after that."

Tony's role as the mediator not only resolves the immediate conflicts but also fosters lasting friendships within the community, exemplifying the essence of Normal Gossip—finding depth and connection in seemingly mundane relationships.

Notable Quotes

• Nigel Anderlan [06:44]: "I just think it's a little bit bad for me."

• Brandi Jensen [22:47]: "It's also got a hot tub on the deck, if that changes your opinion."

• Nigel Anderlan [33:01]: "I'm drinking the tea, and I'm going with the flow."

• Brandi Jensen [39:28]: "How many nights do you think you would have to hear Silver Springs played over and over again before committing a crime?"

• Nigel Anderlan [46:02]: "I feel like you take advantage of this situation."

• Brandi Jensen [65:30]: "Foxy instructs Tony to give Roy the richest brew, but she says it's only because she thinks Stevie the cat is adorable."

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Conclusion

"Heartbreak Glitch Loop with Brandy Jensen" offers a rich, engaging narrative that intertwines personal relationships, community dynamics, and the intricate dance of gossip. Through Tony's mediation, the episode highlights how understanding and proactive communication can bridge gaps between seemingly incompatible individuals. The interplay between Foxy’s spiritual rituals and Roy’s structured routines provides a humorous yet insightful commentary on coexistence and the complexities of neighborhood relationships.

For those who haven't listened, this episode encapsulates the essence of Normal Gossip—transforming everyday anecdotes into compelling stories that reveal the extraordinary within the ordinary.

Transcript

[Rachel Hampton]

I've got some news for one of our fellow Radiotopia shows. Ear Hustle, the show about daily life inside prison is wrapping up a season that took us from the true crime story of a bank robber named Sparkplug to the dos and don'ts of getting your hair cut in prison. And now the show is gearing up for something big. An all new 11 city tour. Ear Hustle hosts Nigel Anderlan along with special guests and performers will kick things off in Nashville on August 4th. And then they're hitting the road. They are stopping in Atlanta, Durham, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Chicago, St. Paul, Iowa City, Lawrence, Kansas and Dallas before wrapping it all up in Austin on August 21st. It's going to be a wild ride with live music, storytelling and never before seen visuals. Fabulous outfits.

[Brandi Jensen]

Check.

[Rachel Hampton]

Dance breaks, Double check. Oh, and Erlon's got a birthday to celebrate along the way too. Join Nigel Earlonne and the Ear Hustle team live. Go to earhustlesq.com tour for details and tickets. That is earhustlesq.com Tour.

[Brandi Jensen]

Hello and welcome to Normal Guide. Hey Gossip. I'm your host, Rachel Hampton and in each episode of this podcast, we're gonna bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world, y' all. Somehow we only have one more episode of season eight after this week. I don't know how this happened. I do know how this happened. I'm very tired. However, I can't believe how fast this has gone. I know that strikes fear into the hearts of so many of you. But don't worry, if you've been listening to the past few episodes or following us on Instagram, then you know there is a way for you to get more normal gossip in your life. Because this September, Ciara and I are bringing Normal gossip to nine different cities. We are stopping in New York, Boston, Seattle, Portland, Oregon, Denver, Dallas, Austin, Chicago and Minneapolis. Tickets went on sale to the public on Friday, May 9th. So that means if you are listening right now, in this moment and live in any of those cities or near them, I don't know, maybe you want to do a road trip. Decide. But first, buy a ticket [e-mail] Every show has exclusive VIP tickets that include a meet and greet with Ciara and I. So I hope you're all work shopping what delicious little bits of gossip are gonna bring us. I know we're like four months out, which is very early, but I have heard a little rumor through the grapevine that Minneapolis, Boston and Portland are selling particularly fast. So if You've been thinking about buying a ticket in any of those cities, I would do it soon. Also, for those of y' all who are not living in those cities and still want more gossip, there will be bonus episodes between the season that have some delectable morsels of gossip for you to gnaw. So have no fear, we are benevolent queens here at this show. That is all the housekeeping for today. Now, onto the gossip. Today, I'm so excited to be joined by none other than the one, the only, Brandi Jensen. Brandi is a culture editor at Defector, and for the past few months, she has been filling in for our beloved Justin Ellis while he is out on press, which means Brandi has had a behind the scenes look at how the gossip gets made. But before she came to Defector, Brandi has worked at literally every single cool publication that has ever existed, including the outline, Rest in peace, gawker 2.0, rest in peace as well, and Jezebel. I think that one's still going. Technically, I'm gonna say rest in peace just in case. Brandi was also recently nominated for an American Society magazine editor's award for an essay she wrote for the Yale Review called the Poly Crisis, which we will link in the show notes. It's such a good essay. All to say, Brandi's pretty fucking cool, and I know y' all are gonna love her. Brandi, hello. Thank you so much for joining me.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Hi. I'm so excited to be here. Fun, fun little story. So years and years ago, when Kelsey first got the idea for this podcast, I thought it was great. And I told her I would love to be a guest sometime. And she was like, oh, my God, yes, we would love to have you on Guess who Never got invited all seven seasons.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, my God. I think this is the first episode that started with a call out.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes, thank you. That's. Yeah, we're coming in hot today, Kelsey.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, I am honored to have you here. My first question is gonna be, what's your relationship to gossip? But my second one was gonna be, do you feel like working on normal gossip as an editor has changed that relationship?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. I have come to realize that it is immoral. It is unethical. It is. You imperil your very soul by taking part in. No, no, I'm kidding.

[Brandi Jensen]

You're like, this is the devil's juice.

[Nigel Anderlan]

This is. I'm telling you, I'm out here having to do, like, good works to make up for the fact that I've come in involved in this show. Heathen endeavor. No, no, no, I'm kidding. Of course. I've always thought gossip is fun. Now, I do sort of think that gossip is work, but it's still fun. As an adult, I am able to, you know, exercise judgment and discernment about when gossip is fun and harmless and when I might be edging into territory that I or others are going to feel bad about. So, yeah, I think it's. It's good to do and be a grown up about. I also just think that we end up hollowing out some of what makes pleasurable things pleasurable by insisting that they are also good for us. Right. Sometimes I like doing something because I know it's a little bit bad for me.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes. I want to jump out the plane because I think I might die, not because I know I'm going to land safely.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Wait, you want. Are you a skydiver?

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, my dream. For my next birthday, I think I'm going to go skydiving for the first time. I've wanted to jump out of a plane since I was, like, 11. And saying that out loud makes me concerned about myself.

[Nigel Anderlan]

But, yeah, yeah, no, no skydiving for me. Cigarettes? Yes. Occasional recreational drug use. Yes. Jumping out of a plane. Less so. Although I guess I probably. Yeah, I would do it. That's if you invited me to your skydiving birthday. I'd be like, all right, I'll jump out of a plane for Rachel.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, now I know who I'm inviting, because most of my friends are like, I will wait for you on the ground. I will wave, but I'm not getting up there. So now I know that you're a true friend.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Always. I will put my very body on the line.

[Brandi Jensen]

So now I know you're a true friend. And like all true friends, you've brought me gossip. A little birdie told me that you've got a story for me.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I do. This. This is something that happened to a friend of mine, let's call him James, a few years ago. James loves to host a party. He's one of those people that has many disparate sort of friend groups. He's always, like, joining a class, doing something new, meeting new people. So he had a, like, milestone birthday a few years ago, and he decides that he is going to use this as an excuse to bring all of his friend groups together, introduce, you know, his grad school friends, his work friends, his one hometown friend. Because James grew up a little gay boy in a small town in the South.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

So he doesn't have a Lot of hometown friends. He's got one hometown friend, a lovely woman who unfortunately is saddled with a boyfriend who sucks.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, no. Many such cases.

[Nigel Anderlan]

This boyfriend sucks in a particular way. Has never seemed particularly comfortable around James and all of James's other gay friends.

[Brandi Jensen]

Boring.

[Nigel Anderlan]

He's boring. He seems, you know, very uptight. He kind of, you know, doesn't really participate. He never does karaoke. He's never, you know, like, joining in the fun. He's a real stick in the mud and, you know, we're questioning his politics. But whatever, that's fine. The boyfriend can come. Everyone's invited, including one of James's newer friends, who is a guy that he had been out on a few dates with, but they decided they were better as friends. This guy opposite of the boyfriend who sucks. Life of the party. Everybody loves him, just brightens up every single room he enters. So James is like, great, great group of people. You know, I don't have to be on the whole time because I've got other friends who can sort of carry the day. So night of the party, you know, vibes are pretty good. Hometown friend is having a good time. Boyfriend who sucks, predictably sucks. He's in the corner. He's, like, sulking. He's sullen. He's not really engaged with anybody.

[Brandi Jensen]

That's such a crazy vibe to bring to a party.

[Nigel Anderlan]

To a party. I know.

[Brandi Jensen]

Fake it.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Fake it. Or just stay home, man. Don't ruin it for the rest of us. Right? I don't want your, like, you know, you got, like, a little, like, stink cloud of energy coming off of you just wafting into the rooms are just.

[Brandi Jensen]

Radiating off of you. No, I don't like that.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, so. But that was expected. What we did not expect is for new friend, life of the party friend, to not be the life of the party at all. He's acting very strange, very quiet, not really engaging. James is like, huh, Maybe I shouldn't have invited him to, like, my milestone birthday. We're still sort of new friends. Like, maybe. Maybe he's worried that I actually do want a romantic relationship that I've, like, you know, taken this a step too far. I don't know. He leaves early the next day. James is like, hey, I just wanted to check in, make sure everything's okay. And he's like, yeah, it's fine. I just wasn't feeling that well, you know, Sorry. Yeah, things go back to normal the next time they hang out. He's like, all right. I guess that was just a blip. Cut To a few months later, and James is like, oh, my God. Gossip. Drama. You'll never believe it. My hometown friend finally dumped her shitty boyfriend. Hooray. And life of the party friend is like, oh, my fucking God. Thank God. I can finally tell you why I was being so weird at your party. It's because I recognized that guy from hooking up with him on Grindr last night.

[Brandi Jensen]

The night before for the party.

[Nigel Anderlan]

The very prior evening, the night before the party, to which James is like, well, okay, shocking. But also less shocking given that I found out they broke up because she walked in on him with some dude.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, my God, Brandi. That is the layers.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I do also have a postscript. I have a postscript, which is that hometown friend got a different, much better, much more fun, possibly bisexual. The way to go, boyfriend. And the other guy is still in a small town in the south where he belongs, married to a woman, going to church, you know, sort of wearing his, like, pastel polo shirts. Like, you know the type. The.

[Brandi Jensen]

I can see this man so clearly. I'm picturing specifically Reverend Newland from True Blood. Oh, my God, Brandi. Wow. I mean, I was gonna say I'm sad that your friend got his party kind of ruined, but this is a perfect end to a party.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen, this is always my take. Whenever anything, like, vaguely disastrous happens to me, is that I'm always so grateful that I get a story out of it, because, man, I, like. I eat out on the stories of the weird shit that has happened to me in my life, Even at this point, at this point while it's happening, you know, I'm like. I'm, like, getting dumped by the married, polyamorous philosophy professor who I thought, like, was my one true love. And in my head, I'm like, okay, this is at least a fun story.

[Brandi Jensen]

Unfortunately from married polyamorous philosophy professor.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I really thought that one was going. I really thought that that was it for me. Like, that was. Man, this was meant to be.

[Brandi Jensen]

You deserve a philosophy professor who can be in game for you.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen, you deserve a philosophy professor. Derogatory. Something I would say to somebody I don't really care for, frankly.

[Brandi Jensen]

I would never say it like that. I only want the best philosophy for you. That was great gossip, and now I have some for you.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I cannot wait. I am locked in.

[Rachel Hampton]

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[Brandi Jensen]

Normal gossip is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations today. Our story takes place in the Outer Banks of North Carolina in a small and incredibly wealthy seaside village.

[Nigel Anderlan]

White Lotus. Love it.

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly. For the purposes of this story we're gonna be calling it Sand Dollar Cove.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

Which is also the name of a 2021 Hallmark movie starring Chad Michael Murray. Because I appreciate art. Anyway, I could talk about this forever. For a long time Sand Dollar Cove was just like a place for well off retirees. But things started to change in the late 90s and eventually it would become something closer to like West Palm beach or the Hamptons. Okay, but our story takes place in the early aughts so that change isn't quite complete, but it is definitely happening.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay, so we've got like an old guard, new money, maybe sort of tension happening.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

All right. Love it.

[Brandi Jensen]

Have you ever lived in a place like this? Like a place that was in the middle of a big demographic change?

[Nigel Anderlan]

No, I like to swoop in after that's already happened so I don't have to feel guilty about it. I don't want to. I don't want to be part of the problem. I just want to benefit from living in a neighborhood with a fancy snack place.

[Brandi Jensen]

That is so understandable and I think ethical. I Think you're doing it correctly?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Thank you. I try.

[Brandi Jensen]

Today, our friend of a friend is named Tony, and Tony is in his mid-40s. Tony doesn't live in Sand Dollar Cove. Even when it was for retirees, it was, like, a little too bougie for him. He lives, like, an hour away. And Tony's the kind of guy who tells everyone to call him Uncle Tony.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Ew. I'm not sure I like that. I don't.

[Brandi Jensen]

It's not in, like, a mobster way. Okay.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'm cautious about Uncle Tony, but continue, continue.

[Brandi Jensen]

But Uncle Tony just never had kids, so he tries to make up for it by being everyone's uncle.

[Nigel Anderlan]

This is not helping to ease my concerns about Uncle Tony and yet. Go on.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Uncle Tony doesn't have a ton of family, but he has, like, so, so many friends, including one named Tammy.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. Is she Auntie Tammy?

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Tammy and Tony go way back. They had met in the mid-70s in a roller rink in Raleigh, and they have been tight ever since. So Tammy's kids actually think Uncle Tony is their uncle. Okay.

[Nigel Anderlan]

All right.

[Brandi Jensen]

Do you have any friends like this whose kids know you or, like, will know you as Aunt Brandi?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I have friends with kids. I don't know that I've necessarily achieved Aunt Brandy level with any of them outside of my two actual legal nephews.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, yeah, those definitely count. Tammy had actually moved really far away, like, a few years before our story starts. But despite, like, the thousands of miles between them, Tammy and Tony have remained super tight. So when Tammy calls Tony one day to ask him for a favor, Tony knows he's gonna say yes before she even tells him what the favor is.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Love that. Love having a friend like that.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. Tony's a good guy, even if he does make everyone call him Uncle Tony.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. All right. I'm warming up to Uncle Tony. I still. I still don't know that I would call him that. I think I would. I would go the other direction and just refer to him as Anthony always.

[Brandi Jensen]

I think Uncle Tony would really like that. I think he'd be charmed by that. Tammy's grandmother had recently passed, and she willed to Tammy a rental property in Sand Dollar Cove. There's already a tenant on the property who has lived there since the early 90s. And Tammy has no desire to do, like, a big renovation, even try to find a new tenant. She just needs someone to look at the property and figure out what kind of state it's in. And she's like, could Tony do that? And Tony's like, yeah, of course. Tammy's like, thank you so much. You're the best. And she tells him, I'll email you all the information I have about the tenant. Tammy tells Toni that the tenant's name is Foxy.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Amazing. Ideal tenant already. Who doesn't want to get a rent check every month from somebody named Foxy?

[Brandi Jensen]

It would brighten my day.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Absolutely.

[Brandi Jensen]

Foxy has lived in Tammy's grandmother's house for 15 years now. Foxy is a retired nurse, and this is all the information Uncle Tony has about her.

[Nigel Anderlan]

What more do you need? Foxy, the retired nurse, love icon, queen.

[Brandi Jensen]

Do you have any concerns so far?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'm concerned that he's still going by Uncle Tony, but other than that, no, I'm all in.

[Brandi Jensen]

Unfortunately, that concern will continue for the rest of the story.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'll set it aside. I'll just put a pin in that for now. I've done the work. I've taken some. Three reflective breaths, and I have come to accept that this is just his name. Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes, exactly. So the next day, Uncle Tony drives to Sand Dollar Cove, which has that weird look that cities that are in the middle of gentrification have, where you have rundown houses that are full of character right next to soulless gray glass boxes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes, I am familiar.

[Brandi Jensen]

The property that Tammy inherited still has character. It is a very standard North Carolina beach house. It's got a big deck. It's got white trim. But even before Uncle Tony gets out of the truck, he can tell that the house has not exactly been well maintained.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, Foxy's got a life to live, you know?

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly. That's not her property.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, I'm not doing maintenance on a rental.

[Brandi Jensen]

No, no. Like, a few of the storm shutters are hanging off their hinges, the deck's got a hole in it, and the fence is absolutely covered in kudzu.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

The house closest to Tammy's is one of the soulless gray glass boxes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh. So they're gonna hate living next to something that they consider an eyesore. Cause they're terrible people. I can't. I can tell already anybody who wants to. When you move to a place with personality and you live in a giant white box, you are not somebody that I'm gonna get along with.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, it's also got a hot tub on the deck, if that changes your opinion. And a red Ferrari in the driveway.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. All right.

[Brandi Jensen]

I'm assuming none of that makes you feel any better about the neighbor.

[Nigel Anderlan]

No, no. We got some. Like, somebody who watches Wolf of Wall street and thinks like, that should be me.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, and this is back when you could get Quaalude.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah.

[Brandi Jensen]

If you were to, like, take a guess at what kind of woman Foxy is, what would you guess?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, retired nurse who moved to the beach named Foxy. I'm guessing she is wonderful. She's a little kooky. I'm thinking she makes a mean margarita.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I see it. Boxxy's front porch is covered in, like, wind chimes and suncatchers Love it when she opens the door. She's got on this billowing linen caftan and no shoes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, why would she be wearing shoes in her own house?

[Brandi Jensen]

She shouldn't.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Exactly.

[Brandi Jensen]

She looks to be in her mid to late 50s. She's got long dark hair and a gray streak at her temple. Like, it's giving Stacy London, which is exactly how I want to go.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Gray iconic. I wish if I had one of those, I would take advantage of it. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened for me yet.

[Brandi Jensen]

But there's still time.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, there's nothing but time. Actually, longer I wait, the higher the chances. Although I don't think it would come in as just a streak at this point, I think it would more be like a sort of. I stopped dyeing my hair. See what happens?

[Brandi Jensen]

I love that look, too. Foxy immediately offers Uncle Tony a glass of sweet tea. And Uncle Tony is the kind of guy to never turn down a glass of sweet tea. So he follows her inside and watches as she goes through an extremely elaborate tea serving ritual.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Hmm.

[Brandi Jensen]

Like, first, Foxy decants the sweet tea into a crystal jug. She tells Tony that tea, like most things, needs room to breathe.

[Nigel Anderlan]

You know what? Listen, when Uncle Tony visits the house, you know, you bring out the formal stuff, right? Bring out the good crystal for Uncle Tony.

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly. Exactly. After the tea is decanted, she pours it into two glasses with ice, but she pours it from, like, really high up. Like, you remember that guy who went viral for sprinkling salt, like, from really hot salt bae?

[Nigel Anderlan]

How could I forget salt bae with his, like, weird little. Did he have weird little glasses?

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes. I had a lot of questions, but that's kind of what this is giving. And Foxy explains that this maneuver encourages the drinker of the sweet tea to embody their highest self. Okay, how would you react to this?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'm drinking the tea, and I'm going with the flow. I'm listening to the wind chimes. I've kicked my shoes off already, and I am starting to talk shit about the guy next Door with the stupid Ferrari. That's what I'm doing.

[Brandi Jensen]

You and Uncle Tony are actually on the exact same wavelength. One thing I forgot to mention about him is that our man is a huge gossip. He lives for the drama, okay?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Love him.

[Brandi Jensen]

And because he's so friendly, people kind of just tend to open up to him. And if there's anything Uncle Tony knows, it's that eccentric women in their 50s are the best sources of both drama and gossip. So he's kind of just along for the ride.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. Yeah. All right, Tony. Tony can hang. Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

Are you calling him Uncle Tony?

[Nigel Anderlan]

But, you know, maybe, maybe, maybe by.

[Brandi Jensen]

The end of the story, also, Uncle Tony can tell that Foxy has done a really good job with taking care of Tammy's grandmother's place. Like, it needs a coat of paint, but it's very clean and well decorated. And when Foxy gives Uncle Tony a download on the property, the issues that she mentions are all very much not her fault. She's like, the toilet bowl takes forever to fill. The gutters haven't been cleaned in years. There's a leak in the attic. The screen on the back door needs to be replaced. But she's like, in all the important ways, this house is still a great place to live. And then Foxy's like, the neighborhood. On the other hand, it's going downhill. Our girl's got a lot to say about the direction the neighborhood is going, and Uncle Tony's got a free afternoon. So the two gab for a bit, and at some point they go from iced tea to chardonnay, which Toni cannot help noticing doesn't go through the elaborate decanting ritual getting that chardonnay straight out.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Of the box in the fridge.

[Brandi Jensen]

As the good Lord intended. Finally, even though he's having a great time, Uncle Tony is like, I should do the job I came here to do. And Foxy's like, you're so right. I'll stop distracting you. And then she's like, you seem like a man of discerning taste. And from some invisible pocket in her billowing linen caftan, Foxy pulls out a business card. And the business card has her name and a link, which Foxy says goes to her blog.

[Nigel Anderlan]

All right, See, for a second there, I was thinking she's making a play to become Aunt Foxy. But okay, now I'm wondering if it's some sort of, like, multi level marketing scheme. What is going on?

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, do you check out the blog?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Obviously. I'm opening my phone on the way out the door, typing in that, you know, foxy thoughtsy.com.

[Brandi Jensen]

Again, you and Uncle Tony are on the same wavelength. He is dying to check out this blog, but it's the early aughts, so he has to wait until she gets home.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. Man, we really used to live like that. Crazy, crazy.

[Brandi Jensen]

I know. We used to have to wait. So Tony does his little inspection and calls Tammy on the way home. And he's like, the house is certainly not unlivable, but it definitely needs some work. And he runs down the list of repairs the house needs. And Tammy's like, that's what I figured. It's been at least a decade since anyone checked it. And so she asked Uncle Tony for another favor. Tammy's grandmother hadn't just left her the house. She'd also left a little bit of money to fix the place up. But Tammy is thousands of miles away. She's like, I need someone I trust to oversee the repairs, so need a contractor.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Now. That's quite a favor, but okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. She's like, I know it's a big ask, but would you mind just sort of checking in every so often to see how the repairs are going? Your friend is basically asking you to be an unofficial property manager. Do you say yes?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I say yes. Because then you get to hang out and drink chardonnay with Foxy every once in a while, which sounds like a fun way to spend an afternoon anyway. So, yeah, I would say yes. I mean, I'm very much a. You know, I will do things for my friends that I won't do for myself.

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly, Exactly. Uncle Tony doesn't have, like, a ton of free time. He's an electrician, and he has his own company to run. But Uncle Tony's the kind of person who would do anything for a friend, especially a lifelong friend like Tammy. And Tammy had bailed him out a few years ago when he had gone on a bit of a bender after a really bad breakup. Oh, yeah.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Not sad Tony.

[Brandi Jensen]

No, sad Uncle Tony. And again, you and Tony, same wavelength. Because now that Uncle Tony's met Foxy, he's like, she's not gonna cause me any issues. And also, I'm gonna at least get some sweet tea and gossip out of this. So he's like, of course I'll do it. Smart man.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I've said from the beginning that I respect Uncle Tony, all aspects of his deal. No, I have no idea what you're talking about. I think I said from the beginning that I love every decision Uncle Tony has made.

[Brandi Jensen]

And you're right. From the Beginning you supported that man ten toes down. This, this, this is all important because now Uncle Tony knows for sure that he's going to see Foxy again. So it is with this knowledge that he finally pulls up her blog, which is called the Rituals of Life.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

It's all about the various rituals that Foxy claims one needs to live a harmonious and balanced life.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'm listening.

[Brandi Jensen]

Are you a person who enjoys, like, rituals or routines? Like, how long can you stick to a routine?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Not long. I'm not. I am not a person who's really good at follow through, sort of. Which is. And also here's the thing. A routine I'm okay with, I'm calling something a ritual is gonna sort of get my back up a little bit. I'm not a particularly woo woo kind of person. And so if you tell me we're doing a ritual, I'm like, okay, have fun with that. You know.

[Brandi Jensen]

Like, I won't be. Yeah, well, thank you.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Love that. For other people, again, would help my friends perform a ritual. I'm not. I'm not doing it myself. I'm not a. I'm not a ritual girl. Thank you very much.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, according to Foxsy, rituals form pathways for positive energy to flow.

[Nigel Anderlan]

They don't. But Foxy, I love that for you.

[Brandi Jensen]

Anyway, she says that routines are necessary so that the universe knows where to meet us.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm getting her. I get Foxy's vibe. Listen, I love that there are people out there with that vibe.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. I mean, Foxy's got so many rituals. She's got a ritual for writing which includes spontaneous diffusions of vocal energy.

[Nigel Anderlan]

When she walks around screaming and yelping before she writes a diary.

[Brandi Jensen]

Who among us doesn't scream when we write?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, listen, I often I weep, I howl. Yes.

[Brandi Jensen]

Gnashing my fingers.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. Rending of garments. There's all sorts of things happening.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. So there's a ritual for entering spaces, which includes a bold announcement of one's presence. There are a ton of different rituals for harvesting. There's even one specifically for wheat grass. Like, specifically for harvesting wheat grass.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. All right. I mean, listen, if the rituals are for her and they make her feel spiritually aligned, then who am I to begrudge her that? But, you know, don't ask me to be announcing myself every time I walk out of your bathroom. I'm like, I'm done pissing now.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, now I want you to do that. How are you feeling so far?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I am excited about the buddy comedy that I can imagine these two sort of now creating between them.

[Brandi Jensen]

I can so clearly see, like, a good cop, bad cop vibe between these two, except they're both good cops at heart.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I mean, maybe. Yeah, maybe they, like, team up to solve a murder.

[Brandi Jensen]

Wow. I mean, I'm sure they team up.

[Nigel Anderlan]

To commit a murder.

[Brandi Jensen]

That's not the kind of show we do, Brandi.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, the Ferrari guy probably has it coming, right?

[Brandi Jensen]

The next time Toni hears from Foxy is about a week later when she calls him out of the blue. And this is back when people actually picked up unexpected phone calls, which is not something I do.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Never, never could not pay me.

[Brandi Jensen]

Nope. Foxy's like, hello, how are you? Did you get a chance to read my blog? And Uncle Tony's like, hi, Foxy. You sure did. And then he's like, it was a real eye opener. Foxy's like, I so look forward to discussing it with you when you come over this weekend. And Uncle Tony's like, I hadn't planned on coming over this weekend. And Foxy's like, well, you simply have no other option. You must speak to that man in that horrible little glass box next door. She's like, he's ruining my balance. And Foxy tells Uncle Tony everything she knows about the rich guy she shares a fence with. She tells him how the guy had moved in about a year ago but hadn't spoken to anyone in the neighborhood, so it actually took her a while to figure out his deal.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Not even introducing yourself to your new neighbor? Come on.

[Brandi Jensen]

But Foxy is persistent, so eventually she finds out that her neighbor's name is Roy. She's pretty sure he's in his late 50s, and she had found out from the local barber that he recently split from his wife.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh. Oh, don't be having your midlife crisis next to my home, Roy.

[Brandi Jensen]

Do that somewhere else. Well, in the divorce, Roy had gotten the beach house in Sand Dollar Cove that he promptly tore down and replaced with the hideous cube. Tasteless, tasteless, tasteless midlife.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. Oh, gosh.

[Brandi Jensen]

Like many divorcees, Roy had discovered a new love in life. Wine. Foxy tells Uncle Tony that every night for the past two months, Roy would do three things. He would start drinking his wine, he'd get in his hot tub, and he would put on his favorite song. Fleetwood Max. Silver Springs.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. Fuck, I love Roy. I'm sorry. I've done a complete 180. Roy. Listen, you want to talk about rituals? Silver Springs in a hot tub with some wine. Now that is a ritual. I can get Behind. Oh, listen, I knew. I knew when I said from the beginning that Roy was a good guy. I knew that I was right about this.

[Brandi Jensen]

When you said he had such great taste and that that glass box was gorgeous.

[Nigel Anderlan]

When I said that there's something, like, profound in his soul that Roy has been wounded by life. Like, he is slowly healing himself, and he deserves grace as he explores that process. Yes, I knew. I knew I was right about it.

[Brandi Jensen]

I mean, it sounds like you know the lore behind Silver Springs.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Of course. Of course I do. I'm a woman of a certain age. How could I not?

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, could you tell us what the lore is and what you think it might imply about Roy's state of mind that it's his favorite song right now?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, so Silver Springs is written by the incredible, the majestic, the iconic, the, you know, practically supernatural talent, Stevie Nicks. She. She wrote it, I think, just shortly after her breakup with fellow Fleetwood Mac bandmate Lindsey Buckingham. And it did not make it onto Rumors, their sort of album that famously was being recorded while they were all simultaneously fucking each other and breaking up with each other. But it did make it on to the later remastered re release. And she also famously sung it on their live reunion tour to his face. And including lyrics like, you'll never get away from the sound of the woman who haunts you. I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen, I have. I don't want to try to begin to count the number of times I have played that song while drinking wine in a bathtub, not a hot tub.

[Brandi Jensen]

Close enough. Close enough.

[Nigel Anderlan]

It is a song that means a lot to everybody who has ever had a human emotion.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes. Correct. Correct.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. Yeah.

[Brandi Jensen]

Foxy is like, listen, I love Stevie Nicks as much as the next bitch.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I mean, how could Foxy not love Stevie Nicks? Exactly right. They're witchy sisters.

[Brandi Jensen]

They're peas in a pod. But she's also like, Roy doesn't just play the song to start the night. That'd be okay. She's like. He plays it over and over and over again. Oh, all night.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, is he stuck in a heartbreak glitch loop?

[Brandi Jensen]

Sometimes he even starts in the afternoon. Fox is like, have you tried to do sun salutations to Fleetwood Mac?

[Nigel Anderlan]

You can have one night where you play that on repeat.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah.

[Nigel Anderlan]

You can't be doing it every night otherwise, like. Like, you're gonna drain the song of its power.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah, it's true.

[Nigel Anderlan]

If you overdo it.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah.

[Nigel Anderlan]

You gotta. You gotta pace yourself on that. You Gotta, you gotta work in other, you know, bring in some Martha Wainwright bloody asshole. There's like a world of heartbreak jams out there that you can, you can, you can cut the pure shit with, right?

[Brandi Jensen]

How many nights do you think you would have to hear Silver Springs played over and over again before committing a crime?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Three.

[Brandi Jensen]

Three. Three nights.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, at three nights I'm like, okay, this wasn't, you know, he didn't just decide to do this twice. We're heading down up road here. It's like we haven't seen anything. And I'm getting ahead of it right now.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah, yeah. Uncle Tony's like, I don't want to find out. So he heads out to Sand Dollar Cove the next weekend. And first he stops by Fox's to say hi. He knocks on the door and waits and waits and waits some more before she finally opens it. And Uncle Tony's like, it's probably one of her rituals.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Doing a ritual.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. They chat for a bit and then Uncle Tony heads next door to the soulless gray glass box that shares a fence with Foxy. And Tony's like, I can't lie. I have a certain idea in my head of what Roy is gonna look like based on, on the information given to me. So when Roy opens the door and looks normal, Tony's like, what the fuck? Huge news. Our dowager queen Kelsey McKinney wrote a.

[Rachel Hampton]

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[Brandi Jensen]

It's so fun. And not to be biased, but I kind of think it's pretty excellent. It's out right now in a hardback.

[Rachel Hampton]

And a super sexy audiobook, which Kelsey narrates. You can buy wherever you buy your books. You can Also go to KelseyMcKenneyBook.com to see all retailers. I've never been someone I would describe as financially savvy. Up until recently, my motto was basically the less I have to think about numbers, the better. But to reach my financial goals, I do unfortunately have to do some number crunching or at least find someone or something to do it for me. Chime understands that every dollar counts. That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get free access to free fee, free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and More. Learn [e-mail] gossip Chime has a bunch of tools to help manage your financial health. Like they have daily balance updates and real time transaction alerts so you can.

[Brandi Jensen]

Spend a little bit more time thinking.

[Rachel Hampton]

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[Nigel Anderlan]

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[Brandi Jensen]

Roy is low key, pretty, handsome.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay?

[Brandi Jensen]

He's got thick graying hair like Patrick Dempsey. He does have an unmistakable air of sadness about him. But I'm the kind of person where that would only make Roy hotter than me because that's who I am.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Absolutely. I can heal him.

[Brandi Jensen]

I can fix his sad heart. Yeah, we'll start listening to youo Make Love and Fun. Oh, that's.

[Nigel Anderlan]

You know, honestly, when you go from Stevie nicks To Christine McVie, that's when you know that you've like, you've completed the process. You're out of the hole.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncle Tony introduces himself. He's like, I'm the property manager for the house next to yours. My tenant has some noise complaints. And Roy's expression, which had been sort of like vaguely polite, completely changes. Roy's like, are you joking? And then he's like, that's really fucking rich coming from her. Did she tell you she loves to scream at all hours of the day and night. It's like living in a horror movie.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Foxy, Foxy. I knew. I knew when you said something about unprompted vocal emanations that this was not.

[Brandi Jensen]

I think it was infusions of vocal energy.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes, that was the one. That was the one. That's a red flag right there.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony's like, no, I haven't heard anything about screaming. But then he's like, how about this? I'll give you my phone number so the next time she screams, you can give me a call. Roy's like, thank God. Finally someone reasonable Tony's just getting further.

[Nigel Anderlan]

And further enmeshed into this situation.

[Brandi Jensen]

He loves drama, he loves discussion.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay?

[Brandi Jensen]

He's like, I'm getting both sides of the story.

[Nigel Anderlan]

He's fair and balanced. Uncle Tony?

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes. Objective Uncle Tony.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. All right. We're here for the truth.

[Brandi Jensen]

And Roy's like, wait, did you say you're the property manager for that place next door? And that's when Roy tells Uncle Tony that the fence dividing their properties is a major eyesore. All the kudzu is so tall that it's obstructing his view of the ocean. But the fence isn't technically on Roy's side of the property line, so he can't do anything about it. Cutting back the cutsy was already on Uncle Tony's list, so he's like, yeah, sure, on it, boss. Do you think Uncle Tony's made any mistakes so far?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah. So I think if you've got a sad sack of a middle aged, crisis rich neighbor who's got a complaint about your fence, you make him pony up to fix the fence. I feel like you take advantage of this situation. You also. Listen, Roy needs a project. Why not give him something to focus on other than his own pain?

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah, I would have seen that red Ferrari in the driveway and been like, you can afford to replace the fence.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, exactly. Listen, let's get. You know what? Let's bring Foxy and Roy together. We'll have Foxy create a ritual where each kudzu that he cuts back is like some damage that his ex wife has done to him. We get a new fence and a new Roy.

[Brandi Jensen]

Wow. Wow. What more could you want? Yeah. Uncle Tony is like, I think I'm handling this okay so far. Until the very first night, both Boxy and Roy call him.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, see, this is what happens when you get yourself in the middle.

[Brandi Jensen]

It's a Saturday night. Uncle Tony's at home. He's watching a Duke football game when his phone rings, and it's Foxy without saying hi. She's like, I cannot write under these conditions. And in the background of the call, Uncle Tony can very clearly make out Stevie Nicks singing. Blue, green colors flashing. Tony's like, yep, got it. I'll call him now. Except before Tony can even pull out the phone book, he gets a phone call, and it's Roy. And Roy's like, that woman is screaming again. And Uncle Tony's like, that's really funny. I just got a call from her about you. She said, your music's really loud. And Roy's like, I only turned it up to drown out the screaming. So Tony's like, can I call you back? He hangs up with Roy, calls Foxy. He's like, foxy, there's no delicate way to ask this. Have you been screaming? Your neighbor says that's why his music's so loud.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, she said she was trying to write. And as we all know. We all know before she could write, she needs to do a little. Her little vocal ritual. So I'm gonna guess Foxy's been hollering.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Foxy's like screaming, how dare he? I'm writing. And she's like, my writing ritual requires spontaneous diffusions of vocal energy. And Uncle Tony's like, yeah, I remember reading that on your blog. Could you give me a demonstration? And Foxy's like, I knew you were a man of discerning taste. Of course I can. And she clears her throat and then releases a blood curdling scream like it is giving Toni Collette in hereditary.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Foxy, you gotta take care of your vocal chords, man. That's gonna. It's not good for you.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony has to, like, hold the phone away from his ear because the scream is so loud. Foxy finishes screaming and she's like, I just had the most beautiful sentence come to me.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, God. She screams per sentence. Oh, Lord. You should at least get a paragraph out of a scream like that. Come on now.

[Brandi Jensen]

One paragraph per scream.

[Nigel Anderlan]

This is un. Sustainable. Foxy, you are going to blow out your own voice before you finish a chapter.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony's like, that's great, Foxy. How long have you been doing this? And Foxy's like, since before I even moved in here. All my other neighbors have gotten used to it. Brandi, as an editor, do you support this kind of writing technique?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen, what writers need to do to get a draft to me, frankly, not my concern. Whatever rituals you want, as long as I don't live next door. Yeah, that's fine. I do have concerns, like I said, that this needs to happen for the output of one sentence. That seems to me a pretty unsustainable pace at which to go screaming and typing your way to a draft of whatever.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, I'm just remembering that scene. Have you seen Something's Gotta Give?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes. When she's crying and she's typing, she's crying. And when she's typing, it's so good.

[Brandi Jensen]

I think about that all the time.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, but you see the pace with which she's typing, she's really getting it down. You know, she's using it in like an efficient manner.

[Brandi Jensen]

You're right. Diane Keaton. Foxy, take a note.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes.

[Brandi Jensen]

How would you handle the situation if you were Uncle Tony?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, good Lord. Well, like now you're in the middle of it and.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, that's tough. I feel like I would try to broker some sort of peace agreement between the two of them. I would maybe figure out, you know, can you. Are there certain hours of the day when Roy isn't gonna be home? And can those be your writing hours, Foxy? Can we dedicate, you know, sort of you journal between three and five when Roy is out at therapy, whatever he's doing?

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. Cause he's definitely parked outside his ex's.

[Nigel Anderlan]

House in his new Ferrari between 3 and 5 every afternoo. Can you get your screaming in then, please?

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony is like, I'm done playing telephone tag at this point. So he's like, I'm gonna come by next weekend and sort this out. And he asked Foxy if she'll like, hold off on writing until then.

[Nigel Anderlan]

She's just writing her blog, right? She's not writing a novel.

[Brandi Jensen]

No, it's just her blog.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay, so we can put a pin in that for the moment until Uncle Tony comes to do some diplomacy.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes, yes. Well, Foxy's like, inspiration doesn't abide by our man made rules, but I'll try to keep her at bay. And Uncle Tony is like, thank you so much, benevolent queen. He calls Roy back and is like, she won't scream until next weekend. Can you keep your music down until then? And Roy's like, I'll keep it down as long as she doesn't scream. Do you trust these two to keep their word?

[Nigel Anderlan]

No, of course not. Would we be having this conversation on the normal gossip podcast? I think if that solved it and there was nothing more.

[Brandi Jensen]

End of story. Bye. Well, for about a week. It's not really Uncle Tony's problem because Uncle Tony is going on vacation. He's got a boys trip planned to Biloxi.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I. I have. I've spent time in Biloxi. I've been to the Margaritaville in Biloxi.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, my God.

[Nigel Anderlan]

And I have seen the Biloxi minor league baseball team, the Biloxi Shuckers. Their mascot is an oyster who. Who holds a baseball bat. It's tremendous.

[Brandi Jensen]

I love a minor league baseball team. The Coney Island Cyclones. My favorite.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I love a minor league baseball team. The prices are good. They have like, fun in between innings stuff.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes, it's a good time. So Uncle Tony's on his way to Biloxi. Maybe he'll catch a game. But he's like, I'm not getting paid for any of this. So the house in Sand Dollar Cove can hold tight for a week. Tony gets back from his little boys trip on Saturday, which happens to be the same day that a landscaping company is coming to check out, like, the fence between Foxy and Roy's properties. So Uncle Tony only has time to go home and change his clothes before heading back out to Sand Dollar Cove. He doesn't even have time to, like, listen to his voicemail. So he doesn't see that both Foxy and Roy have called him several times.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Of course they have.

[Brandi Jensen]

It's not until Uncle Tony pulls up to Foxy's house that he sees the damage. All the kudzu has been removed from both sides of the fence. And at first, Uncle Tony's like, great. I guess Roy decided to take care of himself. One more thing off my plate. But then he gets closer, and he sees what the kudzu had been hiding. The fence is full of holes from, like, decayed or broken slats. Like, if the kudzu was an eyesore, the fucking is an even bigger one.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay. All right. We've solved one problem only to reveal a deeper one.

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I'm familiar with these narrative beats, having watched many, many seasons of supernatural where they're like, we averted the apocalypse by.

[Brandi Jensen]

Creating a larger apocalypse by having super God.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes.

[Brandi Jensen]

How do you think Foxy's gonna react to this narrative beat?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, Foxy. Foxy is pissed. The holes in the fence are messing with her ritual some. It's like the wind is coming through at the wrong angle.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yep.

[Nigel Anderlan]

And this is a real problem for her.

[Brandi Jensen]

Correct. Foxy runs out of the house as soon as she sees Uncle Tony's truck. She's like, where have you been? I have called you so many times. Tammy said you were on vacation. How could you take a vacation at a time like this? Again, Uncle Tony is not getting paid for any of this.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, Foxy. Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

Which he does not have a chance to remind Foxy of because she immediately follows up with. Do you see what that asshole has done? The energy is entirely. And he's trying to suppress my first amendment rights.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, God. Her first amendment rights to scream.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. Uncle Tony's like, what are you talking about? And Foxy's like, go ask him about it. So once again, Uncle Tony heads over to the soulless glass box. Except before he even reaches the front step, Roy comes running out. He's like, that woman is a menace. And Uncle Tony's like, hi, Roy, I see you decided to get the kudzi removed without telling anybody. And Roy's like, it was obstructing my views of the ocean. I told you. And Uncle Tony expects Roy to start ranting about how bad the fucked up fence is, but instead Roy's like, you simply have to control your tenant. And Tony's like, what are you talking about? And that's when Roy points toward the fence separating his property from Foxy's. And this is the first time Tony has seen the fence from this vantage point. And without the kudzu, it is extremely easy to see into Foxy's yard, where she is currently walking around stark naked.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen. As is her. Right, Foxy, strip down quickly.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, I think that's what the linen caftans are for.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Smart. Smart.

[Brandi Jensen]

Right, right. How do you feel about nudism? Like, are you like a. Never nude? Are you like a. When the spirit moves me, I'm a. I'm.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Listen, I've got really great tits and I feel like, you know, sometimes it's nice to just let them out there.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Probably. I'm not somebody who's going to be like, you know, doing a two week vacation at a nudist camp. That's not for me.

[Brandi Jensen]

No.

[Nigel Anderlan]

But I don't. I'm not a prude about it. You know, the human body is abusive. Beautiful thing. And it should sometimes be free.

[Brandi Jensen]

Foxy agrees. Foxy is a dedicated nudist, which Uncle Tony is starting to think actually makes a lot of sense. Like, a lot of the rituals on her website had mentioned that nudity actually helps the flow of energy because it's not hampered by clothes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Sure.

[Brandi Jensen]

And again, he's literally only ever seen her in billowing linen caftans, and she always takes forever to open the door. Roy is like, you have to do something. This is obscene. Now, Uncle Tony is a smart man. He knows this is Roy's fault. Roy had not gotten anyone's consent to cut back the kudzu, and the fence isn't even on his property. So what he did was actually illegal. But Uncle Tony also knows that eventually the fence is gonna need to be repaired. And fences are expensive, and he has a feeling Tammy's grandmother had not left enough money for that. So Uncle Tony's like, let's make a deal. He's like, if you pay for the materials, I'll get the fence fixed.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Genius. Genius.

[Brandi Jensen]

Roy has very clearly been traumatized by whatever rituals of Foxy's he has been privy to. So he is very quickly, like, done.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay, Roy, you simply cannot just have a tantrum when you see a titty like, come on, Roy, this can't be how you live your life. This might be why your wife left you. I mean.

[Brandi Jensen]

We don't know why, but that's a good guess.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Roy, you just gotta relax.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Roy offers a condition. He's like, she has to keep her clothes on until the fences are paired. Do you think this is a fair condition?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I mean, it's fair, but also, Foxy's not gonna be into that.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony's like, homie, it's a free country. If she wants to be nude on her property, she has the right, and we're not near any schools. But Uncle Tony, again, a smart man. So he's like, here's another deal. I'll tell her that you promise to keep your music down if she promises to confine her nudity to her home. And Roy's like, deal.

[Nigel Anderlan]

All right, all right, we're getting concessions.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony goes back to Foxy's and he tells her about the fence. He even tells her Roy's gonna pay for it as a sort of olive branch. And then he tells her Roy promised to keep his as long as Foxy committed to wearing clothes outdoors until the fence is fixed. Do you see any problem with this? Mutually assured destruction?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, well, I feel like Foxy's gonna. She's gonna venture out onto the porch and be like, it's not the yard.

[Brandi Jensen]

My feet aren't touching grass.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, exactly. She's gonna do, like, an I'm not touching you sort of thing. Yes, but also, she's a woman who, you know, is moved by her own spirit and who can put a bunch of terms and conditions on that.

[Brandi Jensen]

You can't litigate the spirit.

[Nigel Anderlan]

You can't keep Foxy down using bylaws, subclauses. Who are we kidding here? And I also feel like, you know, Roy is probably gonna turn that music, maybe not quite the volume it was before, but he's got a. He's gotta crank his, you know, sad song. Yeah, he's still working through some stuff.

[Brandi Jensen]

He certainly is. Well, for a little while, things are actually quiet. Like, Uncle Tony manages to find someone to repair the fence for cheap. Unfortunately, that means the work is not getting done very quickly. So it is during this time, while the fence is very slowly being repaired, that yet another problem is added to Uncle Tony's list. You see, Roy has a cat named Stevie, after Stevie Nicks. Of course.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Roy is a man of such fascinating contradictions. You know the glass box yet the cat named Stevie. Yeah, People are just endlessly, endlessly interesting to me.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Stevie keeps sneaking into Foxy's garden through the open fence. And weirdly, it is actually Roy who calls Uncle Tony about this. First, Roy is like, that woman is feeding Stevie some kind of hippie garbage. Every time Stevie comes, comes back from her garden, he throws up something green.

[Nigel Anderlan]

She's doing wheat grass rituals with the cats.

[Brandi Jensen]

Do you think this is Uncle Tony's problem?

[Nigel Anderlan]

No, no. Listen. Uncle Tony has, you know, he's now doing unpaid labor as a property manager, as a contractor, as a couples therapist, as a mediator, he's doing guerrilla diplomacy. Uncle Tony has spread too thin.

[Brandi Jensen]

He's gotta update his resume.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes, he needs. A trip to Biloxi is not enough to reset when you've got all this.

[Brandi Jensen]

He needs to go to Monte Carlo.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Exactly.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony doesn't really think it's his problem either, but he's got some free time that afternoon, so he calls Moxie later and he asks her how the fence repairs are going. And then he's like, have you. Have you seen a cat around? And then she's like, which one? The neighborhood cats all love my heirloom wheatgrass. I didn't know this before this story, but apparently cats go apeshit for wheatgrass. Like the shit that's in the $10 shots. And the first time they eat it, they can go a little too hard and end up vomiting, which is apparently what happened to Stevie.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Like me, the first time I had a wine cooler at 14.

[Brandi Jensen]

Me, the first time I got a little too hot. Yes, exactly. This is Stevie's play. We salute you, Stevie. Uncle Tony relays this information to Roy, and for the first time, Tony hears something like respect in Roy's voice. Roy is like, heirloom wheatgrass. Uncle Tony is a little too salt of the earth to know anything about this bougie shit. But he's like, how can I use this unexpected connection to my advantage? Do you have any ideas?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah, you gotta tell Foxy that Uncle Roy is really into making, you know, green smoothies and that the two of them should bond over treating their bodies as temples or some bullshit.

[Brandi Jensen]

Exactly. The next time Uncle Tony sees Foxy is about a week later when he goes to check out the progress on the fence, which is, like, halfway done. And Foxy starts complaining about how the efficacy of her rituals is suffering from lack of fresh air. And Uncle Tony can tell she's about to start in on Ro. So before she can, he's like, you know, your neighbor's real impressed with your fancy grass. And Foxy's like, my weed? That's surprising. He seemed like a tightwad. And this raises a lot of questions for Tony, but our man's on a peace mission. He doesn't have time to get into that. So he's like, no, not that. I mean, the fancy grass cats love. And there's, like, real pride. And Foxy's voice when she's like, ah, yes, my wheatgrass. She tells Toni that the seed for the wheat grass has been passed down in her family for generations. Do you think it's ever a good idea to lie for the greater good?

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yes, of course. It's often a good idea. Society is held together by people telling, you know, productive lies.

[Brandi Jensen]

Correct. Uncle Tony decides to tell, like, a little white lie. Like, the littlest white lie. Uncle Tony's like, foxy, you seem like a smart lady.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Was that the lie?

[Brandi Jensen]

Cannot confirm nor deny that one. Uncle Tony's like, do you think any man in his right mind will be playing Silver Springs on repeat for weeks on end? And that's when Uncle Tony tells Foxy that in their last call, Roy had actually confessed to still being pretty busted up over his divorce. And Tony's like, yeah, he said he wants to take better care of himself, but he doesn't know where to start. And it might be no surprise to you to learn that Foxy is a real softy. Like, yes, she loves to scream, but she also cares very deeply. Foxy's like, ugh, Poor thing. He's probably got so much inflammation from his broken heart.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I bet wheatgrass would help with the.

[Brandi Jensen]

She's like, I have just the thing. I just made it this morning. And this is when Uncle Tony learns about Foxy's witch's brew. Like, she calls it this herself, to be clear.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

She won't tell anyone what is in it, though. From the violet green color, wheatgrass is definitely the main ingredient. Foxy's witch's brew is famous in the neighborhood for curing everything from heartbreak to the flu.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Sure, because it gives you something worse that you can focus on.

[Brandi Jensen]

Foxy instructs Tony to give Roy the richest brew, but she says it's only because she thinks Stevie the cat is adorable. And Foxy's like, stevie deserves a more stable spiritual environment.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Well, you know, who can argue with that? It's true.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony's like, a win is a win. He goes to see Roy and tells him that Foxy says Stevie the cat is adorable, which is more a lie of omission than anything I would say. And then he delivers the wheatgrass concoction, and he says that Foxy sends it along as a gift because she knows she's not the easiest neighbor.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, listen. He is sneaky in such a productive way. I want this man on my side.

[Brandi Jensen]

This man that you were a fan of from the very beginning.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Exactly. This man that I have not once said a word against.

[Brandi Jensen]

Never once questioned?

[Nigel Anderlan]

No, never once. There's one thing I've never done in my life. It is besmirch the very good name of Uncle Tony.

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, Uncle Tony is pretty proud of himself. From this point on, the voicemails that Roy and Foxy leave him start to, like, change in tone. They go from raging to complaining to like, kind of sort of complaining.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay.

[Brandi Jensen]

It's less like, you need to get over here immediately and more like if you have time when you have time. Not an emergency.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Love that. Love that. For him.

[Brandi Jensen]

Until one morning, a few weeks after the Wheatgrass Accords.

[Nigel Anderlan]

The Wheatgrass Accords is very good.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony wakes up to a series of increasingly panicked voicemails from Roy and Foxy. The first is from Roy, who is very clearly on the verge of tears. Roy's like, I can't find Stevie anywhere, and Foxy won't let me check her backyard if she's hiding him. I'm calling the police. Please. The next voicemail is from Foxy, who's like, I have no idea where the cat is. Roy is so irresponsible. And then another from Foxy, who's like, I let the tightwad check my backyard, but we still can't find Stevie. You have to do something, Tony.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Why is this Tony's problem? These are grown adults. Come on.

[Brandi Jensen]

And then finally, one from Roy, who is fully sobbing like, stevie's missing. Please help. Foxy keeps trying to do a location ritual, and I don't want to do a blood sacrifice.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Roy's been through too much. Roy just does not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with a missing cat right now. We can't take it.

[Brandi Jensen]

Have you ever lost a pet?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I have, yeah. Terrifying.

[Brandi Jensen]

It seems extremely scary.

[Nigel Anderlan]

It was extremely scary. Well, so I thought that my cat had gotten out of the yard, and. And I spent the better part of two hours looking for him. Turns out he just was hiding under the house.

[Brandi Jensen]

Pete. Cat behavior. Yes.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Yeah. But. Yeah, Very, very scary. Not something I would wish on anybody, especially somebody who's also listening to Silver Springs that much.

[Brandi Jensen]

Yeah. Uncle Tony Listens to all of this with a pit in his stomach. Like, on one hand, he's like, this is nowhere near my job, which, once again, I'm not being paid for. He's like, I'm a handyman, not a veterinarian, Certainly not an animal hunter. But Uncle Tony's also a huge softie. So even though he had planned on going over to Sand Dollar Cove that weekend, he heads over as soon as he finishes eating breakfast. First, he goes to Foxy's. He knocks on her door and waits. And waits. And waits.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Put her clothes on.

[Brandi Jensen]

It takes a minute, but she never answers. So then Uncle Tony heads over to the soulless gray glass block next door. He walks up the driveway to Roy's house, rings the doorbell, and waits. And waits. He rings it again, and he's starting to get a little nervous because Roy doesn't usually take that long to answer his door.

[Nigel Anderlan]

What are the two of them up to?

[Brandi Jensen]

But then the door finally opens, and behind it is none other than Foxy. You're, like, kicking your feet and giggling.

[Nigel Anderlan]

I absolutely am. Okay, I'm being calm about this. What? What does she do? Was she just over there helping to find the cat?

[Brandi Jensen]

Well, before Uncle Tony can even say, what the fuck? Foxy's like, we had a night last night. Uncle Tony cannot believe his eyes or ears. And he is trying to find a delicate way of asking, did y' all fuck? When Roy joins Foxy at the door. And in his arms is the smallest kitten Uncle Tony has ever seen.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Stevie, pregnant. Stevie, unwed mother.

[Brandi Jensen]

Oh, no. From here, the entire story comes out. Once Foxy and Roy had, like, determined that neither one of them was harboring the cat, they had gone searching together and eventually found Stevie, the cat holed up in a tool shed, about to give birth. And this was surprising for many reasons, the most important of which is that up until this point, Roy had been referring to Stevie as a boy. Foxy had helped the panicking Roy assist Stevie through labor. And it's at this point that Foxy looks at Uncle Tony and is like. Like, in another life, I was a cat doula.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Of course she was.

[Brandi Jensen]

Uncle Tony's like, I'm sure you are.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Absolutely.

[Brandi Jensen]

Who's your favorite?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I mean, as I've said from the beginning, I love all of them in their own way. I love that. I love that each one is a softy. I love that they are all moved by their own feelings. Yeah, these are my sort of people. I like all of them. But Stevie's the best one, obviously.

[Brandi Jensen]

Obviously. My final updates are that the night Foxy and Roy spent as co midwives to Stevie officially ended the war between them.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Wait, did they fuck, though? Come on, I need to know.

[Brandi Jensen]

Let me get to that.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm jumping ahead.

[Brandi Jensen]

The detente was helped by the fact that the fence was fully repaired two weeks after that. But Foxy even helps find homes for all of the kittens, and she keeps one herself. And because Stevie obviously cannot be separated from her child, Foxy and Roy cut like a small little hole into the newly repaired fence so that Stevie and her child can come and go as pleased.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Oh, not a pussy hole.

[Brandi Jensen]

No. Yes. Well, the rest of the repairs on the house are finished within a month or so, but Uncle Tony still drives down to Sand Dollar Cove every so often, ostensibly to check out the property for Tammy, but mostly to get sweet tea and gossip from Foxy. But Foxy never tells Tony if she and Roy ever hooked up. Whenever he asks, she's just like, the universe has her secrets.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Okay, well, I'm sorry. I believe in love. I believe in romance. And I believe that the two of them, they got up to things that even Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham did not have the passion to undertake.

[Brandi Jensen]

I mean, they have access to weed. They have a hot tub over between the ocean. They're retired. What else are they gonna do? That's our story. Brandi, thank you so much for joining me.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Thank you. It was a delight. It so was. Was a pleasure. I believe in love.

[Brandi Jensen]

Do you believe in life after love?

[Nigel Anderlan]

I do. I still don't believe in rituals, but.

[Brandi Jensen]

Thank you for listening to normal gossip. If you have a gossip story to.

[Rachel Hampton]

Share with us, email us at normalgoss gossip effector.com or you can leave us.

[Brandi Jensen]

A voicemail at 2679 GOSSIP. If you love this podcast and want.

[Rachel Hampton]

To support us, become a friend or a friend of a [e-mail] you can follow the show on Instagram and tick tock at Normal Gossip. You can follow me on all social media at heydanay.

[Brandi Jensen]

H E Y Y D N A.

[Rachel Hampton]

E this podcast was produced by Sierra Spragle Ricks and J Tol Vieira. Thank you to Samantha Gatzick, our audio engineer and thank you to Danielle Hewitt for your additional production help this season. The co creators and dowager queens of Normal Gossip are Alex, John Laughlin and Kelsey McKinney. Justin Ellis is defectors projects editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are defectors business guys.

[Brandi Jensen]

Alex Sujong, Laughlin is Defectors supervising producer.

[Rachel Hampton]

Tom Le is our editor in Chief. Dan McQuaid representation runs our merch store.

[Brandi Jensen]

Which you can find at normalgossip Store.

[Rachel Hampton]

Tara Jacoby designed our show art. Thank you to Katherine Chu, Brandi Jensen.

[Brandi Jensen]

Louise Paez, Pumar, Chris Thompson, Jasper Wang.

[Rachel Hampton]

Sabrina Embler, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford and.

[Brandi Jensen]

Ray Ratto for all your help on this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector staff.

[Rachel Hampton]

Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company.

[Brandi Jensen]

Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia.

[Rachel Hampton]

I'm your host, Rachel, Rachel Hampton. And remember, you didn't hear this from me.

[Nigel Anderlan]

Radiotopia from prx.