Nepo Baby for Trash with Alex Sujong Laughlin

Summary

Podcast Summary: Normal Gossip – "Nepo Baby for Trash with Alex Sujong Laughlin"

Introduction

In the October 23, 2024 episode of Normal Gossip, host Kelsey McKinney teams up with co-creator and supervising producer Alex Sujong Laughlin to delve into a humorous yet intriguing tale of office antics, family dynamics, and the unexpected consequences of ambitious social media strategies. Titled "Nepo Baby for Trash," the episode explores the complexities of workplace relationships and the pitfalls of nepotism, all wrapped in the show's signature comedic gossip style.

Main Story

Setting the Scene

The episode centers around Serena, a dedicated employee in the Department of Sanitation in a small southeastern U.S. city. Serena is juggling multiple roles: sister, mother, wife, and a committed public servant. The story unfolds during Garbage Man Appreciation Week, a significant event for the department aimed at honoring sanitation workers and boosting community engagement.

Conflict Introduction

Early in the week, Serena encounters a series of mishaps that heighten her stress levels. From spilling her coffee to her cat throwing up, and most critically, not having a costume ready for her daughter's Halloween family theme of "government service." The department's office is also plagued by ongoing issues with stolen items from the fridge, culminating in a humorous yet frustrating situation where thickly decorated "stolen cannoli" posters become a recurring theme ([09:28]).

Rising Action

Serena's attempts to manage these crises are further complicated by the arrival of Violet, her 22-year-old niece, described as a quintessential "nepo baby"—a term denoting individuals who benefit from familial connections in their careers. Violet, eager to make her mark, brings a fresh but intrusive approach to the workplace by insisting on creating a social media campaign featuring "hot garbage men." Her enthusiasm leads to the production of a handmade knitted Statue of Liberty costume for Serena's daughter, intended to symbolize freedom and civic pride.

Despite Violet's good intentions, her actions inadvertently disrupt the office environment. The costume becomes a focal point of contention when it mysteriously disappears, triggering Serena's frantic search and suspicion of various colleagues, including the "hot garbage man"—a popular yet enigmatic figure in the department ([46:19]).

Climax

The climax occurs when Serena discovers through security footage that Violet herself took the costume, leading to a confrontation that exposes deeper issues of nepotism and favoritism within the workplace. Serena grapples with feelings of betrayal and the challenges of managing her professional responsibilities amidst personal turmoil. The tension peaks as Serena realizes that Violet's ambitions may be undermining her own efforts to maintain order and respect within the department.

Resolution

In the resolution, Serena confronts Violet with the evidence of her actions. Although Serena resolves the immediate crisis, the episode leaves listeners contemplating the broader implications of nepotism and the delicate balance between personal relationships and professional integrity. The humorous yet poignant narrative underscores the complexities of modern workplace dynamics, especially when personal and professional lives intersect.

Notable Quotes

• Alex Sujong Laughlin [02:07]: "She only likes to drink thimbles of wine and baby Negronis. She's Defector's supervising producer and everyone's favorite."

• Kelsey McKinney [03:22]: "No drinking Gator wine next to an infinity pool in Tuscany overlooking acres and acres of vineyard. It was perfect."

• Alex Sujong Laughlin [09:28]: "As someone who's had their lunch stolen, how do you feel about this situation?"

• Kelsey McKinney [12:38]: "Never produce a podcast for somebody you admire."

• Alex Sujong Laughlin [24:11]: "She must have taken it."

• Kelsey McKinney [35:11]: "I was her. So I'm seeing the tension."

• Alex Sujong Laughlin [59:55]: "She's like, this is truly, like, Gaslight, Gatekeep girl boss. Right? Like, I feel crazy."

Conclusions and Insights

"Nepo Baby for Trash" illustrates the often-overlooked challenges that come with nepotism in the workplace. Through Serena and Violet's interactions, the episode highlights how familial relationships can complicate professional environments, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. The story serves as a comedic yet insightful commentary on the dynamics of power, ambition, and the fine line between support and sabotage within organizational structures.

Listeners are left with reflections on the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining professionalism, and the potential consequences when personal relationships interfere with workplace harmony. The episode seamlessly blends humor with relatable workplace scenarios, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking for those navigating similar dynamics in their careers.

Final Thoughts

Hosted by Kelsey McKinney and produced by Alex Sujong Laughlin, this episode of Normal Gossip continues to deliver its hallmark blend of quirky humor and sharp social commentary. "Nepo Baby for Trash" not only entertains but also invites listeners to ponder the intricate interplay between personal relationships and professional responsibilities.

Transcript

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Hey there, it's Alex. You may have heard at the end of our episodes the phrase Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. But maybe you don't know what that means. The media industry is kind of garbage right now, and it is harder than ever for independent creatives to own their own work, get paid for their work, and to make a living off of their work. Radiotopia is trying to make that possible for more independent creators. They're really great partners for us and we have been so happy to work with them. Every year, Radiotopia does a fundraising drive.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And right now we have a goal.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Of reaching 2024 donors. And maybe one of them is you. Your donations in the fall fundraiser go into marketing, ad sales, technology, and it also makes it possible to bring on new shows in the future. So maybe your next favorite podcast is just around the corner. If you are a Normal Gossip or Defector subscriber, that is different. If you donate during the fall fundraiser, you'll get a link to a curated list of all Radiotopia producers favorite things. As a token of thanks, I included something in there. You will never guess what it is. If you're listening to this episode right now, you are already supporting the work of Normal Gossip, Defector Media and Radiotopia. But if you want to take that one step further, donate to the Radiotopia Fall FundRaiser, visit Radiotopia FM, donate to learn more and add your name to the list of awesome listeners who support independent podcasts. Thanks.

[Alex]

Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip. I'm Kelsey McKinney and in each episode of this podcast, we're going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Today is a very exciting day in that I have brought you a special treat. And the special treat is Alex Sujan Laughlin, my co creator.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh my goodness. It's so exciting to be here in an official capacity.

[Alex]

You know her already. She's terrible at taking pills. She's the world's foremost Jack Antonoff scholar. She only likes to drink thimbles of wine and baby Negronis. She's Defector's supervising producer and everyone's favorite. Welcome. Alex, how do you feel about being the guest?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I feel a little nervous. It's silly because like, I've obviously been on the show several times. Last night at dinner I was like, wait a second, am I nervous? Am I ready? Oh my God, do I have a gossip story to share?

[Alex]

I don't think you should be nervous because something that the listeners maybe don't know a little behind the scenes, action, if you will, is that we do, like, essentially a dress rehearsal for every single episode. Right. Like, we run through the story as a team and make that it all makes sense and that all the jokes are good before we record it with the guest. Usually you are the guest for the run through. So, like, in some ways, you have more experience as a guest than anyone who's ever been here.

[Kelsey McKinney]

That's true. I have so much practice.

[Alex]

Alex, you've recently returned from Italy on your vacation.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Alex]

Buongiorno.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Buongiorno. Ciao, et cetera.

[Alex]

Arrivederci. Is there anything you would like to share from your Italian vacation?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I had the most delicious beverage that has ever been concocted, which is called gator wine, and it is blue Gatorade mixed with red wine. Half and half. No drinking Gator wine next to an infinity pool in Tuscany overlooking acres and acres of vineyard. It was perfect.

[Alex]

Yeah. If you ever needed proof that Alex and I went to a. This is it, right? Of, like, do we appreciate the beautiful Italian countryside? Yes. She says as she pours Gatorade into her four Euro wine.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It was so good. It was the most perfect blend of the flavors, blue and red.

[Alex]

Alex, usually we ask our guests to bring us a gossip. Did you find a gossip to bring to us?

[Kelsey McKinney]

The pressure felt high, But I do have a story to share from Baby Alex's days as a nameless producer on an anonymous podcast.

[Alex]

All of the stories about Baby Alex are tragic in their own special way. Baby Alex was trying so hard, and no one appreciated her.

[Kelsey McKinney]

She was just a little girl boss ahead of her time. Okay, so the story. I have produced many podcasts in my day. Famously, I've been doing this for a decade, and I've gotten to produce shows for all kinds of people, all kinds of characters from all walks of life.

[Alex]

Terrifying lead.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Beau]

Yes, it is.

[Kelsey McKinney]

The thing that's fascinating about being a producer is that you are working often with people with really high profiles, but you're working with them in a really close, intimate way that will often show their ugliest sides. You become really familiar with what their burps sound like. You understand their insecurities, you know, their quirks. It's like a. It's a very interesting relationship to have with someone.

[Alex]

Yeah. A good example of this is that I feel like in our relationship, you often come to me and are like, hey, you have a new vocal tic. And you're like, here's what it is. And it's like, I didn't even know I had this vocal tic I was living in, saying the same things over and over again and it's like, cool, Great. Thank you. I love knowing this.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. That is the most benign version of this relationship. But it can get ugly. So I am going to tell you a story.

[Alex]

At night, it's less cute.

[Kelsey McKinney]

At night it's less cute. Yes, exactly. So I'm going to tell a story about a host I worked with many, many years ago. I will not name the host or the show.

[Alex]

Uh huh. Smart. Safety first.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, we're being safe. This was a show that I was excited to produce. I was interested in working with this host because I really admired them generally, I admired their work. And so we got together, we started producing the show. And pretty immediately I was like, oh, the vibes with this person are crazy. Like, no, they like, look, I have famously, I have anxiety, like bad anxiety. They also have anxiety in a way that was like completely unmanaged.

[Alex]

Oh, no.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And also they were like rich and powerful. And so that combination of the privilege they have plus their completely unmanaged anxiety was a nightmare for me personally.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I was constantly like prepping for the next mental breakdown that the host would have.

[Alex]

Not even. Mental breakdown.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, not even mine. I had to keep mine like on lock. My mental breakdowns were not allowed at work. Yeah, no, it was all the hosts mental breakdowns and. Yeah, and like try to produce this show at the same time. Like try to make something good. So it was a lot. I'm like 25. I am like trying to survive, living in Brooklyn. I like, you know, don't have a lot of money, don't have a lot of career stability. Like everything's rough. I'm like routinely having beer for dinner.

[Alex]

Yeah, being in your 20s is bad.

[Kelsey McKinney]

So picture baby Alex, you know, incredibly money conscious, incredibly worried about, like, oh my gosh, like, how do I, how do I make sure that I am able to pay my rent next month? I'm so stressed. And on a recording day we met up at the studio, right? And I had packed my lunch because I always packed my lunch because I was poor.

[Alex]

Right. And you needed the money to have beer for dinner, so.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes, exactly. So I had packed my lunch and like usually on these recording days, like, I wouldn't be at the office. I would like go to wherever the studio was, do the recording, and then camp out somewhere for a couple hours and work on the first pass of this episode. So the packed lunch was like kind of crucial to the process. So we get there, I'm in the Studio, papa.

[Alex]

Sigh.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I know I'm in the studio. I'm waiting. Host is late. Host is late. Late. Late. Host is always late, but host is especially late today. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is so stressful. Because, of course, also, we're paying for the studio by the hour, so, like, you know, it matters that they are on time. The host comes in finally, like, I want to say, 15 or 20 minutes late, and they are just in the worst mood that I have ever seen them in. They look like they're on the verge of tears. They are, like, huffing and puffing and, like, like, oh, my gosh. Oh, it's just been such a horrible day. Blah, blah, blah.

[Alex]

I just. This is, like, something that I am always astounded by in creative careers is that, like, there are often people in creative careers who, like, generally come from money, generally have had a much easier go of it, but who, like, expect their coworkers to do the emotional labor of their friends. And it. It just is stunning to me. Like, I'm like, yeah, we all have bad days. That's not something that needs to come into your workplace unless it is literally affecting your ability to do your job. And then even in that case, this is me being a Virgo. I'm like, get it together. Like, shove it down, bitch.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. I'm like, you just came from the brownstone that you own. You're freaking out because you had to take public transit. Come on.

[Alex]

What could a banana cost, Michael? $10?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, exactly. So I'm like, oh, shit. Like, this is about to be really bad. And, you know, the thing about being a producer is that, like, you have to do a lot of emotional labor for the host because, like, especially if this host is, like, not regulating their own emotions, that's gonna show up on Mike. And so I was like, okay. Shit. Like, I need to, like, get this person under control before we record, or else it's gonna be really, really bad. So I'm like, hey, how's it going? Like, approaching. Approaching them like a. Like a lion or something.

[Alex]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What? What's up? And. And the host is, like, about to cry and is like, I just. I didn't have breakfast today. And I was like, okay, all right.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I have my lunch in my bag. Would you like that? No. The host looks at me and, like, sniffs and goes, what is it? And I was like. I was like, peanut butter sandwich and carrot sticks.

[Alex]

It's kid lunch.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It's, like, real baby hours. And they said, okay. And they Took it.

[Alex]

Oh, my God.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And so then I had to listen to this person eating my lunch into the microphone because they, like, of course, ate it right there. And I have my headphones on and I can hear just, like every crunch and lip smack.

[Alex]

Peanut butter and carrots is such a noisy thing to eat on Mike. Right? Like, it's, like, sticky and crunchy.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Exactly. So they ate my lunch. We did the recording. They did not pay me back. I had to spend $20 on a stupid lunch, and it was a really bad day.

[Alex]

I hate that that happened to you. I'm so sorry.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. So never produce a podcast for somebody you admire.

[Alex]

Except I was going to ask you if you had a moral, which is honestly an iconic moral, to just go ahead and be like, never do something for someone you admire. That's the secret here.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It's like an evolution of, like, never meet your idols.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

But I will say that the exception is working with you, of course. Like, would have been so funny if I was like. And that host was Kelsey.

[Alex]

The end. Goodbye.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Imagine me not having eaten lunch. I could never. I must eat all of my meals or I'll die. Alex, thank you for bringing this gossip to us.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Yes, of course.

[Alex]

I think that you'll find in many ways that it is kind of apt to the story we're going to talk about today.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God, you sound so mischievous.

[Alex]

I do want the listeners to know Alex is coming into this totally blind. Like, usually your fingers are in everything, Right. So it's like you look at all the gossip stories that come in. You help us anonymize every story you're in, every run through. Like, by the time we record, usually I think I could just hand the script to you and you could do it. Right. Like, that is how involved you are. And so this is like the only story we've ever done that you know nothing about.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, I feel like, kind of guilty. I'm like, oh, I should have helped. But that's not what we're doing here.

[Alex]

No, you are helping right now by being the guest. Okay. Are you ready to hear it?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I'm ready.

[Alex]

Normal gossip is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Our story today takes place early October, my favorite time. Beautiful weather. We're in the southeastern United States Small city. We're talking, like, big trees, nice trails for hiking, not a lot of money for government services.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, boy.

[Alex]

Okay, this is where our friend of a friend. We're gonna call her Serena, lives.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

Serena has many identities. She's a sister. She's a mother to a cute 3 year old. She's a wife, a colleague. She's sandwich eater, a meal prepper, an adamant composter. But perhaps her most formative and important identity is one that you might recognize.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay, is she a podcast producer?

[Alex]

No. Our story takes place, like, a decade ish ago.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay, hint.

[Alex]

You also had this identity.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no. Is she in a sorority?

[Alex]

No, hint. Sophia Amoroso, girl boss.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Alex]

Can you explain both Sophia Amoroso and what a girl boss is to anyone who might not remember 2013?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. I just. Okay. I have to say, I bought Girlboss, the book Girlboss the week I graduated college. So I remember reading it and just being like, wow, this is the future. So Sophia Amoruso, she started an ebay resell store called Nasty Gal that rapidly took off and became a, like, unicorn e commerce fashion website. And she wrote a book called Girlboss that was a memoir of her rise to success and power. And Girl Boston. She, like, I think coined that word. And if she didn't coin it, she popularized it. And it became a shorthand for the 2010s era Corporate feminism that led to such favorites as the wing Hillary Clinton glossier fight song and the women's march.

[Alex]

Not fight song. Exactly. So this is like the era of, like, where women had decided that the key to equality was actually just doing everything that men did. But, like, wearing pink. Right. So it was like, we're going to take the worst parts of corporate culture, but we are going to do that.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Shrink it and pink it.

[Alex]

Exactly. It was also the era of, like, wearing a peplum in the club and, like, wearing business casual on a first date.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Alex]

There was a lot of, like, power posing.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. I did so much power posing.

[Alex]

Because you, like, need to project confidence.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And it was also, like, the cringey hope of the Obama administration. Right. It's ambition unbridled, and it's for power. Our friend of our friend Serena is a girl boss first and foremost.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. But first coffee, messy bud top not get shit done.

[Alex]

Yes. She spent the first decade of her career in local government, and now she is in somewhat of, like, a position of power. She is a big boss for the department of sanitation. Do you know what the department of sanitation does?

[Kelsey McKinney]

It's trash. It's recycling. Is it also cleaning up animals that have been run over on the road?

[Alex]

Okay, now you're getting too into the weeds. The important part of the department of sanitation is trash.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Trash queen. She is queen of trash.

[Alex]

She is queen of trash.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow.

[Alex]

And today, when our story starts, is Monday. Things are not going well for Serena. She has spilt her coffee, her little cat threw up, and she still does not have a costume for her daughter for Halloween.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no. Not very girl boss of you.

[Alex]

And Halloween is only two weeks away, and they're supposed to have, like, a family costume.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, God.

[Alex]

And this is a huge fucking week at work because it is garbage man appreciation week.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I'm so excited. This is so dumb.

[Alex]

Now, obviously, every week at the department of sanitation is Garbage Man Appreciation Week.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Do. Do they say garbage man or garbage person?

[Alex]

They say garbage man. It's 2012.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow. Wow. Okay.

[Alex]

The department of education has, like, a snack area that's stocked by volunteers where, like, garbage men can come in and out any week and, like, get snacks and drinks and stuff. But this one week a year, Garbage man appreciation week is where they are, like, the star of the local government. Right? Like, all the other departments pay attention to what they're doing. School kids come to visit the department. Other departments come to visit. There is programming. It's like, a whole thing.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alex]

So Serena is frantic. She gets to the office. She's frazzled. The first thing she sees when she walks in is Beau. Beau is the operations manager, okay? He's in charge of the office, and he is always mad at everyone for leaving their cups in the sink, loading the dishwasher wrong, leaving food at their desks. Do you have any experience with this kind of person?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Beau is aggrieved. Just like, yeah, people like this, their basic state is to be aggrieved, and they only feel good if they are in that state. That's, like, their natural neutral zone.

[Alex]

Yes. And to Beau's credit, when he's mad, he usually has a right to be right. Like something is kind of being annoying. But today, she walks in. Beau's brow is furrowed, pouting. Serena's like, what's up, Beau? Happy Garbage man appreciation week. And Beau's like, happy garbage man appreciation week to you. We got some problems.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no, Beau.

[Alex]

And she's like, okay, what's the problem? And he's like, that's the first problem. And he points to a sign. It's like a flyer. And on the flyer is a picture of a cannoli the cannoli is surrounded by a frame of weeping emojis. What? At the top of the poster, in a giant font, it says, stolen cannoli. Give it back.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No. Oh, no.

[Alex]

At the bottom of the poster, it says, whoever stole my cannoli, I was looking forward to it all weekend, and you've ruined that. Put it back in the fridge by end of day.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I got some bad news for this person. I don't think the cannoli's coming back. Usually when a cannoli is stolen, it goes into a mouth.

[Alex]

Mm. Mm. The thing is, one, these posters are everywhere.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Serena's looking around the office. There are, like, a hundred pictures of the stolen cannoli. The second thing is that the stolen cannoli is, like, just the most recent of many things that have been stolen from the office fridge. This is an office with someone who is stealing things. Things are going missing consistently from the office fridge, and people are getting mad because their lunches are being stolen.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alex]

As someone who's had their lunch stolen, how do you feel about this situation?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow. I didn't even make that connection. That's a low move. And I think there are few things more depressing than getting to lunchtime and not having a lunch there for you to eat.

[Alex]

Serena is like, oh, my God. This is Garbage Man Appreciation Week. We cannot have all of these posters of cannolis up as, like, students and garbage men and other people from the government come in. She's like, beau, can you send an email to everyone that's like, take down these cannoli posters. Stop stealing things. And Beau's like, yeah, of course I can. But Beau still looks upset, and Serena is like, what? And Beau is like, there's something else.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

And he points to her office. It is 9:17am Serena goes into her office, and in her office already is Violet. Violet is a Nepo baby.

[Kelsey McKinney]

A Nepo baby for trash.

[Alex]

And that her uncle is the mayor, and he got her a job doing social for the city.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Alex]

So she is 22 years old. She loves making content, and she is always filming Serena on the worst day of her life.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Amazing.

[Alex]

Serena is like, what's up, Violet? So good to see you. And Violet's like, I'm here to find a way to make content for us for Garbage Man Appreciation Week. It's so exciting. And Serena's like, could you not do that in my office? Like, could you be anywhere else? And Violet's like, you seem, like, really overwhelmed. Is there anything I can do to help.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I do think that, like, as a.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Social media person, she should have had.

[Kelsey McKinney]

A plan for this weeks ago if this was such a big deal for their department. So it's not making me think highly of Violet right now.

[Alex]

Serena is like, yeah, you can help. Can you take all those Canoli posters down? And Violet's like, got it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Nice.

[Alex]

The problem here is that Violet, like, kind of reminds Serena of her. Like, Serena's like, oh, my God, she's a baby girl boss, right? Like, she's just trying to make it in the world. It's not her fault that she's so annoying.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, I relate.

[Alex]

Beau comes in to, like, bring her something she needs, and he's like, what is up with you? Like, you're already in such a bad mood. And she's telling him about the cat throwing up, and she's telling him about, like, her family drama. She's like, I don't have this costume. I'm so stressed. Halloween is in two weeks. And Beau's like, okay, like, what kind of costume are you looking for? And Serena's like, our family theme is government service.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, boy. Oh, fun.

[Alex]

So, like, my husband and I are going to dress as firefighters, and we want it to be, like, a family costume. So we need a costume for the baby because we're all going to the local government's big party.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, boy. I would have suggested minions. I think they should have all been minions because it's an easy costume. Like, it's just the yellow and the blue overalls and silly glasses and, like.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Paint your face yellow.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Like, easy.

[Alex]

That's a great idea. That's not what they're doing. They're doing government service, Alex. At this moment, Violet returns with the posters. She drops all of them into the trash, and Serena is like, recycling. And so Violet picks them up out of the trash and puts them in the recycling. And Violet's like, I, like, couldn't help but over here, so sorry. But I heard that you're, like, looking for costume for a kid in a government service theme. And Serena's like, yes. And Violet's like, I have just the thing.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh.

[Alex]

And Serena's like, what is it? And Violet's like, you'll see. And then Serena forgets about this conversation for the rest of the day because she is so busy with her garbage man appreciation programming.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow, that's menacing.

[Alex]

It's now Tuesday. Okay, Serena shows up, no Violet there this morning. Life is good. She gives school kids a tour. She checks on catering for the garbage man Appreciation week luncheon. Around 1pm Violet comes waltzing in.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

She brings with her the costume. It is a handmade, knitted blue Statue of Liberty costume with knitted torch and knitted headdress.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What? Oh, my. Holy shit.

[Alex]

Can you describe what you're saying here to the people?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

This is.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay. This is so much better than I thought it would be. You have sent me a picture of the Statue of Liberty hat knitted with a surprising amount of structure. I'm, like, really curious to know what's inside of it to make it hold its shape. It's a really faithful reproduction. My favorite part is the curls. The statue's curls, which are also knitted. Oh, my God. That's weird.

[Alex]

Serena is presented with this, and, you know, she appreciates craftsmanship, so she's like, oh, my God. It's like, it's so beautiful. Like, this is so well made. It's gorgeous. But, like, it's not really what I was looking for. Like, we're trying to go as a family to do a government service costume. And Violet's like, yes, this is perfect. The Statue of Liberty is a symbol of freedom.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And Serena is like, what? And Violet is like, my grandmother in law made this for me when I was a kid.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow.

[Alex]

And Serena's like, what is a grandmother in law?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And Violet is like, oh, my uncle's mother.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, your uncle? The mayor. The mayor's mother made this costume. And Violet's like, yeah, he loves this costume. So it's the mayor's mother's costume, which she handmade for Violet when she was a baby. This woman is your boss's boss's mom, and it is not quite the vibe you were looking for for Halloween. What do you do here?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I would say, no, thank you. Mainly because it is a delicate knitted garment made by hand that is important to my boss's boss's family, and I don't trust my child to wear it on a night with a lot of candy and running around.

[Alex]

Serena is like, you know, 18 people are asking her questions because it's the second day of Garbage Man Appreciation Week, and there's a lot to do. And so Serena is like, thank you so much for the costume. Oh, my God, I love it. And she puts it on the extra chair in her office.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, boy.

[Alex]

Serena's like, talking to someone, getting updates on something they need to do, and it's like, something Violet can help with. So she's like, violet, did you hear? Did you hear what we're talking about. And Violet is not paying attention because Violet is looking out the window of the door of the office. Because today is Tuesday, and Tuesday is everyone's favorite day at the department of sanitation. Because remember how I told you that garbage men come into the office to get snacks sometimes?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

There is one garbage man who is so, so, so hot.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, Hot garbage man.

[Alex]

And he always comes to the office on Tuesday.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Amazing. Wow.

[Alex]

Is he smelly? Yes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Alex]

Does he wear his coveralls unzipped to his waist to reveal a tank top underneath and absolutely jacked arms? Also yes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was gonna ask what flavor of hot we're talking about, but I feel like I've already got it.

[Alex]

What are you picturing in your mind's eye?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I'm picturing, like, a thin gold chain. Also, kind of, like, sexy, greasy hair. He never looks clean, even when he's taken a shower.

[Alex]

Never.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And that's his appeal.

[Alex]

Everyone in the office is obsessed with this hot garbage man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow.

[Alex]

And, like, has been for the entire decade that Serena has worked there. Right? Like, people love this man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow.

[Alex]

But Violet is only just seeing him because usually she's doing social media in other departments. So she's like, who is that?

[Kelsey McKinney]

She didn't know about hot garbage man.

[Alex]

So she's like, he's one of our guys. And Violet is like, I'll be back. And Serena's like, okay, great. I guess I'll just do all of this by myself.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Great.

[Alex]

She watches Violet eat lunch with him. Finally, at, like, 2pm it's time for her to eat lunch. She goes to the fridge. Her lunch is gone.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No.

[Alex]

She goes to tell Beau, and Beau is like, oh, I'm so sorry. Stuff keeps going missing. Like, this week, it's worse than any other week. And she's like, I know. It sucks. And Beau's like, okay, let's order salads for lunch. And she's like, yes, I agree. So they order salads. She gets to have a little treat. She gives her tour in the afternoon. She's like, I'm so exhausted. She comes back from her tour, and Violet is in her office again. And Violet is like, I have a great idea. And Serena's like, okay, what is it? And Violet's like, you know how they make those calendars?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

With, like, a hot person for every single month? She's like, calendar men of the department of sanitation?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. Yes. Garbage man calendar.

[Alex]

Serena is like, no.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What? Why? This is a brilliant idea.

[Alex]

She's mad. Serena's like, These men are government service.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Serena, this is not frivolous.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No, no.

[Alex]

This is serious. It's a calling.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Is this an episode of Emily in Paris? Because it sounds like an episode of Emily in Paris.

[Alex]

All stories about girl bosses sound like an episode of Emily in Paris. Violet is like, if it's so frivolous, why are you dressing up as public servants for Halloween?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. Our culture is not a costume.

[Alex]

Yeah. And Serena's like, I'm doing a costume for government service to teach children.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Mm.

[Alex]

And Violet's like, unfortunately, I already talked to the head of social media, and she thinks this is a great idea. And I showed her a picture of the hot garbage man, and she thinks this is the best idea I've ever had. So I'm gonna do it, and we're gonna start photographing tomorrow.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Damn. Nothing like the confidence of an EPO baby.

[Alex]

Yeah. Is there anything that you could or should do here?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Uh, I mean, my only thought is that, like, I also think this is a great idea from a financial point of view, like, to sell it as a fundraiser or whatever, but also great social media content for, like, behind the scenes.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. I think it's a great idea.

[Alex]

Wednesday and Thursday are chaos.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Uh huh.

[Alex]

Violet brings all of this camera gear, camera backdrop, lights.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Those giant clips that keep the backdrop up. She has those, like, big things that reflect the light so that you can, like, make people look really hot. Right. And she stores all of this stuff in Serena's office because it's expensive and it needs to be protected. And Serena's office locks, and as we.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Have established, there's a bit of a thievery problem in this office.

[Alex]

Exactly. Serena's like, I'm losing my mind. Because all day Wednesday and Thursday, the photo shoot seems to always be happening. Like, Violet is always here. Garbage men are constantly arriving, and some of them Serena has, like, never seen before. So Violet is essentially just, like, hanging out by the snacks, waiting for garbage men to arrive, and then, like, quickly determining if they're hot or not and then bringing the hot ones in to photograph them.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

This is taking up so much time. All of these guys are getting their photos taken, and Violet's posting, like, a few teasers on social media. And the department of sanitation is getting so many followers, like, instantly. It is getting thousands of followers.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my gosh. Wow.

[Alex]

Serena's giving tours. She's giving presentations. She's talking at luncheons. She is exhausted. No one is complimenting her. Everyone is complimenting Violet.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oof. I mean, this is a real microcosm of the girl boss problem. There was a lot of rhetoric about, like, women helping women during this time, and women should help women, people should help people. But I think that the generational divide, especially between, like, millennials and Gen X, was a really tense borderline during this period where it was like, the girl bosses who were millennials, who were in their 20s, who were like, I'm just going to do what I want and, you know, taking control of everything. They, like, really got on the nerves of their bosses who.

[Alex]

Yes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Who had to be more patient and pay their dues. How do I know this?

[Alex]

Yeah. I was about to say you're using they when you mean we.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. Yes. I was one of them. This is me. This is real. This is me. I was her. So I'm seeing the tension.

[Alex]

Yeah. And the tension here is really that, like, everyone is doing a really good job. Right. Like, Garbage Man Appreciation Week is going off with a bang. Everyone's very happy. The social media is doing great. Like, nothing is actually going wrong.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

The only things that, like, feel bad are internal things. Right?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Have you ever had a week like this where, like, everything's going really well, but, like, it's so exhausting, and by the end of it, you're, like, so tired that it's, like, really easy to make a really sloppy mistake?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. All the time.

[Alex]

By Friday, Serena feels like she might die.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

She tells Bo. She's like, I'm gonna die. Beau's like, you can die over the holiday weekend. Because the weekend after Garbage Man Appreciation Week is Indigenous People's Day. So they have Monday off.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

All day. Violet's finishing up her photos. The very last photos she takes are of the very hot garbage man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

The one from Tuesday. Violet is a girl who understands pacing. She knows you don't end on a whimper. Right. You end on a bang.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes.

[Alex]

So she's taking these photos. He looks incredible. Serena's like, this is insane. Like, what is happening in my office right at the end? Violet's like, okay, great. Can you, like, help me take this stuff down? And then, like, we can be done for the week. Happy Garbage Man Appreciation Week. Serena's like, yes. The hot garbage man helps him take everything down, put it back in boxes, put all the camera equipment away.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I bet it's so easy for him to carry everything.

[Alex]

It's so easy for him with his giant arms used to throwing 50 pound trash bags like they're nothing.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, man. Oh, man.

[Alex]

Serena is like, good job this week. Like, thank you both so much for all of your work. And they're both like, happy Garbage Man Appreciation Week, Serena. And she's like, happy Garbage Man Appreciation Week to you.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Like it's Christmas.

[Alex]

Yeah. They leave. She does not lock the office door behind her.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh my God. Wait, like her personal office or the big office?

[Alex]

Her personal office.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay, good question. Was there anything important in there?

[Alex]

All of the camera equipment.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh great. Awesome. I can't wait to see where this goes.

[Alex]

Uh huh. Holiday weekend goes great, right? She has a nice relaxing time. Garbage Man Appreciation Week is over. Monday, she's all relaxed. Tuesday she comes back, she says hi to Beau. She goes to open her office door and it's unlocked.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh my God.

[Alex]

And she's like, shit. She goes into a panic. She swings open the door. She darts in there. She's like looking around really frantically. All of the camera equipment is still there.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

She's like, oh my God.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Great.

[Alex]

But. But where is the knitted Statue of Liberty costume with knitted torch and knitted crown?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Holy shit.

[Alex]

No. Made by the mayor's mother.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no. See, I told you that is too precious of an item to accept into your possession.

[Alex]

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[Kelsey McKinney]

Quince.comgossip we know all cats are picky.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Especially when it comes to cat litter.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And I'm sure you've gone through tons.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

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[Kelsey McKinney]

Well or, you know, that something just.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Might not be right with him because he cannot speak words to tell me how he's feeling. So the fact that Pretty Litter changes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Color is really helpful for just giving.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Me a little peace of mind. Give Pretty Litter a try. You and your cat will love it. Go to prettylitter.com gossip to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. That's Prettylitter.com gossip to save 20% off on your first first order and get a free cat toy. Pretty Litter.com gossip terms and conditions apply. See site for details.

[Alex]

The costume is gone. It is nowhere.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

She's combing her office apart. Nothing. What do you do?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Hmm. My first thought is like, are there cameras in this office? Because it is a government office and it's like, you know, surveillance America, et cetera. But I'm also, like, you mentioned that there wasn't like, a high budget for government services. So, yes, there's probably nothing. I would send a frantic email to Beau, probably, and be like, hello, we.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Have a major, major emergency.

[Kelsey McKinney]

I need your help. Like, we have to find this costume. Oh. But, like, you don't want it to be like, you don't want everybody to know. Like, I don't want Violet to know that we lost it. And so, yeah, so it would be to Beau specifically. And I would be like, you need to keep this quiet, but I need your help. Oh, God, this is so bad.

[Alex]

Serena is like, this is so bad. She's like, what are we going to do? The knitted Statue of Liberty costume with knitted crown and knitted torch is lost. At first she has a thought that's like, okay, right. The front Doors of the building are locked, right? So, like, who has access to the building, right? And her first thought is like, maintenance staff. But this is the department of Sanitation. She's like, I'm not suspicious of the maintenance staff. I respect. Respect the maintenance staff. And if they were going to steal something, why wouldn't they steal all of this expensive camera equipment?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. Yes.

[Alex]

So she goes investigation mode. She goes straight to Beau. And she's like, beau, my costume is stolen? And Beau's like, what costume? And Serena's like, a knitted Statue of Liberty costume with knitted torch and knitted crown.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

And Beau's like, you got your daughter a handmade knitted Statue of Liberty costume, Bo.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Keep up. Exactly.

[Alex]

And Serena's like, it's a long story, but, like, the thing you need to know is the mayor's mom made it. And Beau's like, and it's not in your office. And Serena's like, it's not in my office.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

And Beau's like, well, did you lock your office? And Serena's like, no. And Beau's like, did you see my memo about leaving personal items in the office during long weekends? You see your office as a storage facility?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Jesus Christ. This is not the time, Beau. Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Do you think Beau could have taken it?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Like, honestly, everybody's the suspect to me right now. So, like, maybe, like, I am looking at Beau. I'm looking at the hot garbage man. Like, I'm looking everywhere. I went to this wedding last week, and we played traitors at the wedding.

[Alex]

Hell, yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

For people who don't know traitors, it's like, basically mafia. There's, like, we had five people who were identified as traitors, and each of them murdered one victim over here.

[Alex]

Hell, yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And I didn't know anybody at the wedding. All I had was, like, my gut instinct. And so I was looking at people and, like, walking up to people and just saying, are you a traitor? And seeing how they responded immediately, because that's all I had. And anyway, I didn't find any of them. But, like, that is the strategy that I would resort to at this point. Because, like, I don't have any other data. I would, like. As each person came into the office, I would, like, look very, very hard in their eyes and say, did you take my costume?

[Alex]

Serena is like, beau, if you're trying to teach me some kind of lesson here, like, consider it taught, right? Like, I have learned. Did you take this fucking costume? And he's like, no, I didn't take your Costume? I don't even know what you're talking about.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

And Serena's like, oh, my God. Okay, this is awful. Like, who could have taken it? And Beau's like, well, who was the last person in your office? And Serena's like, the hot garbage man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, Hot garbage man. And Violet.

[Alex]

And Bo's like, no. And Serena's like, what do you mean, no? Like, it could be him. And Beau's like, I don't think it's him.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Why? Why?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, why? And then she remembers. She's like, my lunch also went missing on the day he was here. She's like, is he stealing all the lunches? Is he stealing the cannoli? Is he stealing everything?

[Kelsey McKinney]

We got a sticky fingers hottie in the house.

[Alex]

And Beau's like, I think you're wrong on this. And Serena's like, you don't know him at all. And Beau's like, yeah, but I have eyes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What does that mean?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, just because this man is hot does not mean that he doesn't steal things. And Beau's like, I don't know, man. I think it does. What?

[Kelsey McKinney]

That's crazy. Hot people still things all the time. Look at Winona Ryder.

[Alex]

Yes. Serena is like, hot people steal things all the time. And she's like, it's also, like, definitely him. Like, she's like, he was the last one in my office. He saw me not lock the door. He has access to the building. And Beau's like, I just do not think the hot garbage man would do this. Like, he has access to so much garbage. He could get whatever he wanted.

[Kelsey McKinney]

He's wealthy with garbage. I do Like, I do wonder. I mean, okay, so, like, the costume is definitely a marvel of fiber arts, but, like, not knowing the context of, like, where it came from and why it's important, I don't know why a random person would want to take it.

[Alex]

Right? Serena's like, the costume is missing. She's like, beau doesn't know. He won't let me accuse the hot garbage man. She's scrambling, right? She's like, asking co workers. She's like, have any of you seen this? And some of them are like, yeah, I saw it on Friday in your office. And she's like, okay, great. One of the random co workers is like, oh, I did come back into the office on Saturday because I forgot something, and I don't remember it being in your office then, but did they.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Go in her office?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, did you go in my office. And this person's like, no. And Serena's like, did you take my Statue of Liberty costume? And this person's like, no. She's like, this is a nightmare.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

She's asking more people about this, but she's kind of like, okay, at least this narrows my window. Right? Like, at least I have another suspect. This man who came in on Saturday. And I know that it was stolen between, like, me leaving my office at 6 on Friday and this man coming in at, like, 10am on Saturday. Right.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. Enough time has passed since she has realized it's gone missing. That it's, like, starting to get scary. Like, it reminds me of after the live show we did recently, and you lost your keys. And it was like the first five to 10 minutes, we were like, okay, like, let's just.

[Alex]

Funny check.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Let's make sure. Like, let's retrace our steps. And then after we had checked everywhere it should have been and it wasn't there, we were like, oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Alex]

I was like, I haven't felt terror like this in a while.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. Yeah. So I can, like, I. I'm feeling that, like, the terror ramping up.

[Alex]

The terror is ramping up. People are coming in. Serena's asking all of them, like, she's using your traitor method. She's asking all of them point blank, like, did you steal my costume? And half the people in this office are like, what the fuck are you talking about, Ban? Like, I don't know anything about a costume. While she's doing this, Violet comes in.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, no.

[Alex]

She wants to show everyone the video she has made of the hot garbage man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

Do you tell her that the costume is lost?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I mean, I, like, I really, really don't want to, but, like, the fact that Serena is asking everybody if they stole it, like, it's gonna get to her pretty quickly. Because that's the drama of the day. So maybe just fess up and be like, oh, my gosh, the costume is not there. I don't know what happened.

[Alex]

Yeah, Serena is like, I'm not gonna tell her. Cause she's like, it could still be here.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It could be.

[Alex]

She's like, it's only been a few hours. She goes and digs through her office again. Right. But the thing is, the Statue of Liberty costume with matching torch and matching crown is a very distinctive color. So, like, it should pop in her office. Right? Like, she should see it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. It's not like a small thing to go missing. It's not a set of keys. Yeah.

[Alex]

It's not your car key, which you got stuck under the seat of a rental car and then caused all your friends to panic. It's a. It's a knitted Statue of Liberty costume.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. It's like, yeah, it should be pretty clear. And I can't imagine her office is very big.

[Alex]

No. So all day she looks. Nothing. All day. The next day, she looks.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

What?

[Alex]

Nothing. She's asking everyone in the office. No one has seen anything. At this point, she's like, I feel like I need to tell Violet. Yeah, right. Like, I. It's gotten too many people know. I really can't find it. Like, I think I need to tell her.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

She's like, I have no choice. But then Violet, like, never comes into the office because she likes. Is never there. Can you email this kind of thing?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God, no. I would email Violet and say, hey, I really need you to come into the office.

[Alex]

So you're not emailing it?

[Kelsey McKinney]

No, I'm not putting that in writing. Especially not like, foia a bull. No.

[Alex]

There's our journalism girl. Don't let a journalist find out that you lost the knitted Statue of Liberty costume with matching torch and matching crown.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, I could see that going up on Defector so fast.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah. We would love to blog that if this is happening in your local government. That's tips effector.com. serena sends an email.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. What a dummy.

[Alex]

She falls over herself apologizing. She's like, I'm so sorry. I feel so terrible. And, like, she does feel terrible, right? Like, this is not. She's not acting. She's like, this is awful. Like, I'm so embarrassed. I'm, like, horrified that this memento has gone missing on my watch.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Mm.

[Alex]

She waits. She waits. She waits. That evening, Violet responds, okay. And she says, like, the memories with her grandmother in law are the most important thing anyway.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Grandmother in law.

[Alex]

And Serena is like, oh, my God, did this work? She's like, oh, my God, is it going to be fine? But the last line of the email is, I hate to hear that such a precious family heirloom is gone.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

And Serena is like, feels like a knife has gone into her heart. She responds to this, and she's like, I'm still looking for it. Like, I want you to know I haven't given up on it. I'm gonna make sure no volunteers took it. I have, like, a plan. Da, da, da, da, da. And Violet responds to this and is like, please don't make a huge deal about this and, like, get people upset. Like, I'm sad it's gone. I hope whoever took it can still use it. And then Violet is like, I also totally understand. Like, I know that you've been, like, really overwhelmed with garbage man appreciation week, and, like, you're not really on top of everything right now.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Damn. Okay. Wow, attitude.

[Alex]

Now Serena feels very bad because she's like, one, I have lost costume, beautiful family heirloom. Two, my girl boss future is in jeopardy because the mayor's niece hates me. Three, I have somehow given the baby girl boss the upper hand here. She's like, this is terrible.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay? But, like, does Violet not bear some responsibility here for bringing this family heirloom into an office that has a, like, noted thievery problem?

[Alex]

Wow. That's what I think she victim blame.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Serena goes to drinks that evening. The girl she's meeting for drinks is a former co worker and work wife. Right. So, like, someone who worked at the department of sanitation with Serena for, like, years.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

And Serena is like, babe, no one believes me, but I am convinced that the hot garbage man took this costume.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah. I mean, if she hasn't talked to him yet, like, he's. He's a weak link.

[Alex]

And her friend is like, it's like, low key classist of you to assume it was the garbage man. Like, he has a pure heart. He's braver than the troops. His hands are covered in garbage so ours don't have to be. She's like, I salute the hot garbage man.

[Kelsey McKinney]

He got stinky for our sins so that we may remain clean.

[Alex]

Literally. And Serena is like, I just, like, I really think it's him. I know that he's hot, but, like, being hot doesn't mean you can't also be bad. Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It's actually, like, I feel like a highly correlated pair of traits. Hot and bad.

[Alex]

Her friend's like, I don't know why you're on the hot garbage man. Anyway. Like, to me, it's clearly Violet.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, what? And her friend's like, yeah, she was, like, one of the last people in there. She also had access. Like, also like, who else is stealing a Statue of Liberty costume for a child with knitted torch and knitted. Like, she must have taken it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, I mean, that is a good point. Like I said earlier, without the context of why this is a special item.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

It's hard for me to believe that someone would just steal that.

[Alex]

What do you do with this theory?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I do some hard thinking by myself. Probably in bed, you get in your.

[Alex]

Car and you stare out the front window.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, I just. I think, you know, I go into Monty montage mode, and I'm like, what? What gain from this? What is she trying to do? And then I'll, like, replay every interaction I've had with her for the past year.

[Alex]

Serena does this amazing.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

And then she decides, like, I'm gonna bring this theory to Beau. Right? Like, so she delicately. She goes up to Beau the next day, and she's like, oh, my God, I had a drink with our former work wife. And she had the craziest idea. Like, she thought that Violet might have taken it. Like, isn't that so crazy? Can you believe that? Like, she would come up with something so wild.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

And Bo's like, I think she's right. It makes perfect sense to me.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, you are both insane. Like, she's like, neither of you are helping me. You're both just, like, pointing at Violet. She's like, I feel insane. She's like, because I know the window that it disappeared in, right? And I know, like, I know that it's gone, and I know that I forgot to lock my office. And, like, I have all this information. It's not going to be any closer.

[Alex Sujong Laughlin]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And Beau's like, you know the window that it was taken in? And Serena's like, yeah, like, I left my office at 6pm and then what's his face said that he came in at 10am and it wasn't there. And Bo's like, oh, well, let's check the tapes.

[Kelsey McKinney]

There are tapes.

[Alex]

And Serena's like, we have tapes. What? And Beau's like, yeah, there's one security cam in front of the building looking out at the parking lot, and one that, like, looks at the shared space.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Beau, this would have been great to know, like, a while ago.

[Alex]

Yes. Sarita's like, and you couldn't have told me this five days ago?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

And Beau's like, well, it would have been really impractical to go through, like, many days of footage. Like, that would be insane. And Serena's like, yeah, that would be insane. Unlike me spending many days looking for the Statue of Liberty costume with knitted torch and knitted hat. Like, that would be crazy.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. Okay. All right. So we have tapes.

[Alex]

They go into the office. They're rolling back the tapes. Exactly. Main room. They're like, nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Nothing. Right? There's no Statue of Liberty costume to be seen.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

They go to the Camera of the parking lot. Okay, 6pm they see Serena leave. They see the garbage man leave. They see Violet leave. Right? They all leave. Then there's hours, hours, hours.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No. No costume.

[Alex]

No costume. 4am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 8am what's that? They stop the tapes. It's Violet exiting the building.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Huh?

[Alex]

With the Statue of Liberty costume with knitted crown and knitted torch held in her hand.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No. Caught blue handed.

[Alex]

Serena is like, oh, my God, they were right. The hot garbage man didn't do it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. What? But why would Violet have it?

[Alex]

So she took the costume and lied to Serena about it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, I don't know, like, what to do with this information.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Her head is spinning around in a circle, and she's sitting in front of these tapes, right? And she's like, wait a second. If we have tapes on the main room, couldn't we find out who's stealing the lunches?

[Kelsey McKinney]

In theory. Unless the person is swallowing the lunches, Scooby Doo style.

[Alex]

So Serena's like, I mean, Violet taking her own costume, like, whatever. But, like, if Violet is taking all of this shit from the office, we have, like, a real problem. She's like, we need to look at these tapes. And Beau's like, I don't think that's necessary.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena's like, what do you mean it's not necessary? It's literally all we talk about. She's like, we're looking. And Beau kind of sighs and is like, serena.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God, it's Beau.

[Alex]

It's me.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What? Beau.

[Alex]

He's like, people think that I'm stealing all of their lunches, but I'm not. Like, as part of my job as office managers, if you don't follow the. The rules, I toss it.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God.

[Alex]

He's like, so if you leave your lunch in there for more than 24 hours, it's being thrown away, as it says, it will happen on the poster on the fridge.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Bo. What? What? What about the cannoli?

[Alex]

Yeah, exactly. Serena's like, what about the cannoli? And Beau's like, it was in there all weekend. I had to throw it away.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

Serena's like, what about my lunch? And Bo's like, you left it in there for two days. I had to throw it away.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God. This is about ethics and food safety.

[Alex]

Y. This is about not getting E. Coli.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God, What a nightmare. Ah.

[Alex]

Serena's like, okay, great. Thank you for this knowledge. I love having it. Now I can return to my previous drama, which is the fact that this baby girl boss set me up for failure. What do you do with this information?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay, so I think, like, the only thing worse than losing your boss's boss's mother's hand knitted Statue of Liberty costume with knitted torch and knitted crown is accusing your boss's niece of stealing this thing and being wrong. I think that that would be a very, very bad look. And so what I would do is I would grab Violet, have her come in with Beau also, because Beau's captain of the tapes, apparently, and I would say, violet, okay, we have some information on the costume. I need your help understanding what I'm seeing. Do you know what's going on here? And then play the tape and see how she responds.

[Alex]

Play the tape in which you can clearly see her leaving with a Statue of Liberty costume with knitted crown and knitted torch.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes, I need her response. Like, I need, like, a raw response from her to seeing that video.

[Alex]

I'm really learning something about you in this recording, which is that you really value, like, an instant response to something and how someone responds on the spot.

[Kelsey McKinney]

No, you're right. Yeah, you're right. Because I think that most people are not good liars. And, like, I think that's true. Yeah. I think that. And, like, when they're put on the spot, and maybe I'm just speaking for myself because I'm a bad liar, and when I'm put on the spot, like, everything is on my face immediately, but I tend to feel that I can read that better than somebody's, like, deliberate manipulation.

[Alex]

Yeah. So Serena is going through a lot of the same problems you're going through, Right? Like, she's. At first, she's like, we're just totally gonna let this go. Right? Like, she's like, whatever. Who cares? But then she's like, I've told basically everyone in this office that I lost the mayor's mom's family heirloom.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah, that's not good.

[Alex]

And, like, that seems bad. Right? So she's like, to contradict that narrative, I, like, have to address this in some way. She's like, but I can't, like, go broad and be like, violet stole her own costume because, like, Nepo baby.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

So she's like, you know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna email Violet very diplomatically.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Okay.

[Alex]

And she emails Violet and she's like, hey.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Hey, girl.

[Alex]

Hey, girl. I was so stressed all last week about being able to find this costume, and I Just felt like I was losing my mind. And so I, like, begged Beau to check the security cameras. Like, I just had to find the costume. And she's like, and you know what? It looks like you were able to grab it, and I'm so relieved that you have it. And she attaches a screenshot of Violet holding the costume in the parking lot.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Wow. That's very diplomatic.

[Alex]

We are at the end. Whose side are you on? How do you feel?

[Kelsey McKinney]

I feel that I am on Serena's side because we have been in her perspective this whole time, and I am rooting for her. Although I do identify with Violet as a, you know, former 20something girl boss who had too many ideas and felt empowered to enact them even when I probably shouldn't have. So I just. I love this for Serena. I think that was a really smart way to handle that.

[Alex]

Yeah. When Serena sends this, she's like, I'm back in my stride. I'm on top. Like, I win again. Right. Like, she feels great.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then she gets an email back from Violet.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh, my God.

[Alex]

That's like, I'm so glad you were able to get peace about the costume.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What?

[Alex]

And Serena is like, I hate this girl. Like, I hate this baby girl boss who's making it seem like I have no idea what's going on. Like, she's like, this is truly, like, Gaslight Gatekeep girl boss. Right? Like, I feel crazy.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And then she's like, you know what? But I have to hand it to her. Like, she's girl bossing, right? Like, the department of Sanitation got 50,000 followers from these posters. We're raising a ton of money from the calendars. Right? Like, she's like, well, she makes me crazy, but I do kind of gotta hand it to her.

[Kelsey McKinney]

What the fuck?

[Alex]

And for Halloween, Serena's daughter wore a parks department uniform with a little hat, and she looked adorable.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Yes. I still. I don't understand why Violet did this.

[Alex]

Listen, I would love to tell you, but unfortunately, that information was never given to us.

[Kelsey McKinney]

This is a girl who is destined for offices far greater than the Department of Sanitation.

[Alex]

Do you have any final thoughts or feelings that you'd like to share?

[Kelsey McKinney]

Um, you know, I'm just, like, really in awe about, like, how petty people can be and the lengths that people are willing to go to emotionally destroy somebody.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Kelsey McKinney]

And that's terrifying, and I'm sorry to know this.

[Alex]

In the end. You know, what's important, though, is that the hot garbage man remains clean of all sins.

[Kelsey McKinney]

He's innocent. He was always innocent and some say he is still tossing garbage to this day.

[Alex]

Alex, thank you so much for coming on the show. It was a pleasure to have you.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Oh my gosh, it was so exciting to be an actual guest, an official guest.

[Beau]

Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us, email [e-mail] or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679, gossip. If you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or a friend of a [e-mail] you can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok. At normal gossip you can follow Kelsey on all social media at McKinney Kelsey this podcast was produced by Alex Soojong Laughlin, Ozzy Linus Goodman and Jay Tolviera. Justin Ellis is Defector's project's editor. Jasper Wang and Sean Kuhn are Defectors business guys. Alex sujong Laughlin is Defector's supervising producer. Tom Lay is our Editor in Chief. Abigail Siegel is our intern. Dan McQuaid runs our merch store which you can find at normalgossip store. Tara Jacoby design our show art. Thank you to Rachel Hampton, Brandi Jensen, Sabrina Imbler, Dave McKenna, Chris Thompson, Heather Chen, Ray Ratto, David Roth, Catherine Chu, Jasper Wang, Israel Daramola and Patrick Redford for your help on this season. Thanks to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of Radiotopia. Normal Gossip is hosted by Kelsey McKinney. I'm Jessica Ahn and remember you did not hear this from me.

[Kelsey McKinney]

Radiotopia from PRX.