Paranormal Activity with Amber Singletary

Summary

Normal Gossip – “Paranormal Activity with Amber Singletary”

Release Date: July 22, 2026
Host: Rachel Hampton
Guest: Amber Singletary

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Episode Overview

This episode of Normal Gossip dives into a juicy, spooky tale of suburban hauntings, problematic stepmothers, sneaky kids, and ghostly matchmaking—served with the podcast’s trademark humor and warmth. Host Rachel Hampton welcomes comedian and writer Amber Singletary for season 10’s All-Star run, swapping their love for gossip before diving into a reader-submitted ghost story that feels part sitcom, part supernatural mystery, and all deliciously relatable family drama.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter & Gossip Philosophy

• Rachel and Amber bond over their mutual love of gossip, emphasizing its role in building relationships and sharing values.
  • "I think people are really themselves when they’re gossiping. You just learn so much in gossip. Gossip more, everybody, please." — Amber (02:36)
• Both defend the fun in gossiping about strangers over those close to them, as distance allows for unfiltered opinions and less personal risk.

2. Amber’s Wildest Gossip: Social Media for OnlyFans (05:00–08:09)

• Amber confesses to a past job managing OnlyFans accounts, including responding to messages with bizarre requests.
• The wildest “tea”: Her boss hired her mother to manage customer messages, which led to generationally awkward customer service (“By golly, it’s time for me to go to bed!”).
  • "She’s saying stuff to men at night like, ‘I'm about to hit the hay.’ You sex workers don’t hit the hay." — Amber (06:40)
• Amber reveals many OnlyFans accounts are run by teams; not every interaction is "real."

3. Main Story: The Haunted Farmhouse in Iowa

(Start: 11:34)

Setting the Scene (13:00–16:10)

• Protagonist: 12-year-old Hailey in 1998, obsessed with witchy movies and her “spooky dollhouse” Victorian farmhouse.
• Lives with her younger brother Dennis and their dad George (a mellow ex-roadie turned pragmatic single dad).
  • "George will wear the same Converse for years to get his kids a Nintendo 64 game." — Rachel (15:09)

Enter Lisa: The New Stepmom (17:04–21:34)

• George begins dating Lisa, a meticulous, emotionally distant Excel wizard with a pampered dog, Warren.
• Red flags: Lisa gifts Hailey just $10 for her birthday (“untouched and unsigned”), yet dotes on her Pomeranian (“Wagyu imported for the dog!”).
  • “Lisa, you are a raggedy bitch.” — Amber (19:55)

Tension Escalates (21:34–26:35)

• Lisa asserts control, demands “quiet hours” for Warren, and overtakes George’s office for dog decompression.
• The home’s old boiler casts shadows over family life, compounded by the looming presence of “Old Gus”—a creepy, glued-down cardboard cutout in the spooky basement.

The Paranormal Incident (26:48–28:10)

• Turning point: Dennis claims, with eerie calm, there’s "a man" in the basement—Morris—and "Morris wants us to leave."
  • “Dad, there’s someone else ... It’s a man. His name is Morris. Morris wants us to leave.” — Dennis (27:48)

Ghost Confirmation & Unrest (32:23–37:02)

• George investigates: The previous owner, Old Man Morris, died of a heart attack in the house.
• Unexplainable phenomena begin: cold showers, windows slamming, pet anxiety, pictures (especially Lisa’s) falling from walls.

Enter Ms. Sapphire, TV Psychic (38:26–45:02)

• George brings in local legend Ms. Sapphire—a blue-clad, Stevie Nicks–esque psychic famous for TV ads.
  • “Come, child. Today you learn how to see beyond the world of men.” — Ms. Sapphire (38:55)
• Ms. Sapphire quickly identifies Morris by name, to the shock of Dennis and George (neither had mentioned this!).
  • “There’s an older gentleman here. His name is Morris. ... Morris says he’ll leave if she does.” — Ms. Sapphire (42:23, 43:35)
• She prescribes a twice-daily ritual: greet Morris, turning in circles to appease his spirit. Lisa flatly refuses.

Climax & Resolution (46:11–48:47)

• Lisa (and Warren) are driven out—after Warren becomes too unsettled—and never return.
• Ms. Sapphire continues checking in; George and the kids adopt the Morris-greeting ritual, and their home returns to peace.

Final Twists & Updates (49:18–50:35)

• George and Ms. Sapphire eventually start dating, uniting witchy and earthly energies!
• Years later, grown-up Dennis confesses: He made up the name “Morris” out of boredom. The fact it matched the prior owner’s name was pure coincidence—or “a freaky little coincidence.”
• Ms. Sapphire’s uncannily accurate reading remains a mystery.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the stepmom’s $10 gift:
  • “Lisa, you are a raggedy bitch. You gave that dog Wagyu and you gave that girl $10...that was the shipping on the Wagyu!” — Amber (19:55)
• On haunting etiquette:
  • “Ghosts are actually a bit like houseplants. They get sad when you don’t talk to them…” — Ms. Sapphire (44:46)
• On Lisa’s refusal:
  • “You spinning your ass in a circle and talk to Morris…this is your rent now.” — Amber (46:41)
• On the final twist:
  • “That fateful day when the boiler broke…Dennis decided to have his own little fun. He made the whole thing up. He had simply come up with the name Morris on the spot.” — Rachel (49:18)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Amber on Gossip & OnlyFans story: 02:14–08:09
• Paranormal story introduction: 11:34
• Hailey and family, house setup: 13:00–17:04
• Lisa’s arrival, gift, and stepmom chaos: 17:04–21:34
• Basement haunting (Morris named): 26:48–28:10
• Ghost reveals, community rumors, and seance plans: 32:23–37:02
• Ms. Sapphire’s dramatic entrance & house cleanse: 38:26–45:02
• Lisa’s exit, family healing, and Ms. Sapphire’s romance: 46:11–48:47
• Dennis’ grown-up confession: 49:18–50:35

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Tone & Takeaways

In classic Normal Gossip fashion, Rachel and Amber riff with candor and irreverence, honoring the comedic heart of the anonymous tale while getting real about family, step-parent drama, and belief in the supernatural. The episode is packed with punchlines, juicy observations, and a sense of found-family warmth—even as it gets spooky. Amber’s commentary is especially sharp, giving voice to every listener’s “oh no, she didn’t!” reactions.

Ultimately, the episode is a reminder that gossip, whether paranormal or mundane, reveals the delightful strangeness at the heart of other people’s lives—and sometimes truth is even stranger than fiction.

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Memorable Closing Insight:

“Sometimes...I think that we’re all attached to a collective consciousness...and Mr. Morris said, Watch this, baby. I’m about to change your life.” — Amber (51:10)

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Transcript

[A]

This is Ira Glass of this American Life. Do you know our show? Okay, well, either way, I'm going to tell you about it. We make stories, old fashioned stories that hopefully pull you into the beginning with funny moments and feelings and people in surprising situations. And then you just want to find out what is going to happen and cannot stop listening. That's right. I'm talking about stories that make you miss appointments and ignore your loved ones. This is American Life. Every week, wherever you get your podcasts. Oh my God.

[B]

Oh my God. Oh my God. What? Oh my God.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, wow. Oh my God.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

What?

[D]

Oh my gosh.

[C]

What? Hello and welcome to Normal Gossip.

[D]

I'm your host, Rachel Hampton, and in each episode of this podcast, we are going to bring you an anonymous morsel of gossip from the real world. Welcome back to season 10, y'. All. If this is the first episode you're tuning into, this is our 10th season of normal Gossip, which means that we are doing all stars. We're bringing back some of your favorite guests and we have got some incredible new guests that some of y' all have been requesting for eons. And this season we're doing something special. We're doing video. Yes, y', all, we are finally joining the modern world. So if you want to watch this episode, head on over to our YouTube page. Just search Defector Media and it should pop up. And of course, we'll be linking the video in the show notes. Alright, that is enough housekeeping for today. Without further ado, I want to introduce today's all star guest, the illustrious, the hilarious, the very talented Amber Singletary. Amber Singletary is a comedian, writer, actor and host of the judgy series by NowThis Media. Most recently she was a writer on the HBO Emmy Award winning series A Black lady sketch show. She is an Internet favorite of mine and I have a feeling that by the end of this episode, she'll be your new fave too.

[C]

Hello, Amber.

[D]

Thank you so much for joining.

[B]

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.

[D]

I'm so excited you're here. I love this.

[B]

I love gossip.

[D]

Same. Well, that's actually a perfect segue into the question that we ask everyone, which is what is your relationship to gossip?

[B]

I hate to say this, but I love gossip. I hate to say love gossip. I think it's the best. I think it builds relationships, it builds friendships. Like I love gossip of people I don't know, like when my friends have like third party friend gossip.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What? Okay, tell me Tell me about me and tell me about her wedding. Tell me about everything. The trip, whatever, whatever. I just love it because I think people are really themselves when they're gossiping. You can see what people care about. You can see people's like ideologies. Like, you see what people judge people for. And you just learn so much in gossip. Gossip more, everybody, please.

[D]

And you're right. I feel like the further away you are from the gossip, the better it is.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

You have to know, I think at least one person relatively well in the story, but other than that, it's like, I don't know. A stranger is perfect.

[B]

A stranger is perfect. Because then I can just say just an unfiltered opinion and be like, I think this. Exactly. But when you're. When you're too close to the gossip, it might. The gossip might be about you.

[D]

No, exactly. It's like, is this play about me?

[B]

Is this play about us? No, that is. I hope I've been the topic of gossip. I really hope so.

[C]

Same.

[B]

That would be great.

[D]

Same.

[B]

I don't think I have.

[D]

No one ever tells you if you're the subject of gossip. And it's really irritating. I left a job I had been at for six years and I was like, there's no way. There's no gossip about me leaving. But every time I see someone from my old job, they're like, you're so beloved.

[B]

We're so proud of you.

[D]

You lying ass bitch.

[B]

Say something about me eating salmon in the. Say something. Treat me like a regular person. Gossip about me.

[D]

Pretend I'm not here and tell me what you would say about me.

[B]

Dude, you know what I miss? I miss the trap phone calls. I miss putting somebody on three way. You got a secret caller. They're like, oh, so what do you think about this? And then the person is just getting all the gossip with them like that. We bring it back. Bring back a three way sneak attack. Regina George style. Exactly.

[D]

No one does it anymore.

[B]

No, we're losing recipes because you get. You can merge the call. Back in the day you merged a call, you're like, did you just put somebody on the phone?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now you can do it in secret. I don't know why we're not doing it.

[D]

And you're right, you're right. I remember I recently merged a call for the first time in years and

[B]

I was like, whoa, I forgot I could do this.

[D]

No, exactly.

[B]

It's unlimited. So you can just keep merging and

[D]

keep it used to cost money. Oh, yeah, we could talk about that forever.

[B]

I mean, y' all don't know. Y' all weren't there.

[D]

I could go on a tangent about MySpace and the drama of the top eight and the gossip that that inspired, but you actually have some gossip for me, I have some gossip for you, so please clue me in.

[B]

And I don't work there anymore, so this is the worst thing that could have ever happened to these people. So my previous job, I was running a girls. Not running, but doing the social media management of an only fans girl. Shout out to the girls. First of all, a lot of girls, we love the girls.

[D]

We love the girls.

[B]

At the beginning, it was great. No, it was great the whole time. I will say this. It was great. The whole great job. It was such a freeing job. I could do it from my bed. It was seven days a week, though, posting on so many pages, answering messages.

[D]

There's no weekends for sex workers. In fact, those are the busy times.

[B]

Those are the busy times. And at night you have to like, you have to answer people at night. And the weekends. Also, the men, the men I've come into contact with, there was a man that every day, my only job was to tell him when he could swallow his own secretion and he would put a belt around his neck. And every day it was like, can I drink it now? Can I drink it now? And I'll just be like, go ahead. Just. Just go ahead. But the tea was. After a while, I could not do the messaging anymore. I was like, this is destroying my mental health, having to first of all be fake to these people because, you know, you just want their money. And then also just the things they say to these women. Oh, my God. Like, it's subhuman. It's disgusting. It's horrible. So I was like, I can't do this anymore. We need to hire somebody to do messaging. Why did homegirl hire her own mother?

[D]

Amber.

[B]

Amber,

[D]

you're lying. Her mother.

[B]

Her mother. Her mother couldn't get the tone down too.

[D]

And you know what I'm imagining? Let's say a Gen Xer trying to text on OnlyFans using the language of.

[B]

I mean, she's saying stuff to men at night like, I'm about to hit the hay. You sex workers don't hit the head.

[C]

They don't.

[B]

They don't hit the head.

[D]

They don't. She's saying, well, by golly, it's 8pm it's time for me to go to bed. My minutes have run out.

[B]

She said, well, ta, ta. I'm like, no, you have to act like you're just always online. She's like, I simply cannot.

[D]

My God. Wait, so were you training the mother?

[B]

I did not train the mother. Actually, this girl that did ops, she trained her. Because I was like, I simply cannot train her. I can't.

[D]

Okay. This is a whole operation.

[B]

I mean, they have a team. Literally, by the way, we don't work there anymore because she had an agency take over her whole thing. Sorry, guys. Yes, you are sometimes not talking to them. I'm. I hate to say, like, but.

[D]

Oh, what a surprise.

[B]

I mean, we're talking about a billion dollar industry.

[D]

Yeah, I know that.

[B]

People making 50, 60, 80k a month. There's some girls making 3 mil a month. I mean, they're top, top dogs, but, like, I mean, it's a lucrative industry for these agencies.

[D]

This is incredible gossip. Incredible tea. I love that you began the story by saying, this is how it starts. My jaw's already on the floor. And then you said, and now this is really tea. And this is the tea. This is the tea.

[B]

This is the tea.

[D]

This is the tea. I thought the tea started when you

[B]

said the tea was just brewing on

[D]

the team for the OnlyFams.

[B]

I'm just on the team. No.

[D]

Uh, well, I'm gonna be thinking about this for a while, but now I have something that I think you're gonna be thinking about for a while, which is a little bit of gossip.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Are you ready? I'm ready for the gossip. Are you ready?

[B]

I'm ready for the hot goss.

[C]

We are at the point in the season where I'm just constantly thinking. I'm thinking about the guests, the gossip, thinking about the audio quality, praying to God the Mercury retrograde does not make

[D]

us lose any audio.

[C]

I'm thinking about whether or not there's going to be a plane flying overhead during my recording, which makes it hard to sleep. And that's why lately, I have been turning to Mood, which has products specifically for different vibes or moments to help you sleep, to get you focused for feeling happy and euphoric and even for better sex specifically. I have been such a huge fan of their Sleepy Time Advanced gummies. I even brought them on tour with me last year because nothing messes up my sleep schedule like changing hotels every couple days. And they got me to sleep mostly right on time. And by mostly, I mean perfectly right on time. Sometimes I would be scrolling my phone. But that's not Mood's fault. And right now, Mood is offering our listeners 20% of their first purchase with code Gossip at checkout head to mood.com to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for and let Mood help you discover your perfect mood. That's mood.com and code gossip at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. We have officially launched season 10 of normal gossip, which means that we are smack dab in the busiest part of the season where we are both making episodes and releasing episodes. And the last thing I want to think about is what I'm eating for dinner or going grocery shopping. And that is why I am so excited to be partnering with Butcherbox. Butcherbox solved the problem for me of looking into my fridge and convincing myself that there's nothing to eat because I know that I have high quality protein right in my freezer that I can cook at any given minute. ButcherBox delivers 100% grass fed beef, organic chicken, wild caught seafood and more, all source to standards they can actually tell you about. They've already done the research and made the tough sourcing decision, so all you have to do is decide what's for dinner. If you're looking for an easier way to get great meals on the table, give Butcherbox a try. Go to butcherbox.com gossip to get $20 off your first box. Plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins in every box of for a year with free shipping always. That's butcherbox.com gossip. Again, that is butcherbox.com gossip. Be sure to use our link so they know we sent you. Normal Gossip is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why drivers have enjoyed Progressive's name your price tool for years. Now, with the name your price tool you tell them what you want to pay and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com find a rate that works for you with the name your price tool. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and Coverage match limited by state law.

[D]

Today's story is about the paranormal.

[B]

My favorite thing. My favorite thing.

[D]

I personally do not fuck with ghosts.

[B]

Really?

[D]

No.

[C]

Do you?

[B]

Is it because you think they're not real?

[D]

No, it's the opposite. I think they're real and I want nothing to do with them. No, same.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I don't like not believe in ghosts, but I'm always like I'm not somebody that's like, I'm gonna go to this haunted place and spend the night.

[D]

Don't take me anywhere that is haunted. No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, I think I've said this before, but my approach to spirits and demons is like, hear no evil, see no evil, do whatever haunted shit you gotta do, but don't leave me out of it. Leave me the fuck out of it. A Ouija board will literally never see me coming.

[B]

Who are the girls getting the Ouija boards and where are they getting them from?

[D]

Well, our friend of a friend is one of these girls, at least at the time that today's story takes place. Our friend of a friend today is named Haley. And I'm actually gonna let you guess the age of our friend of a friend when today's story takes place. But I'm giving you a couple things. So at the time in Haley's life when this story starts, her favorite activities include, but are not limited to, watching the newly released movie Practical Magic, playing Hanson's mmm bop on repeat on her CD player, and over plucking her eyebrows to the point where they will never fully grow back.

[B]

Okay, so this woman was at least 20 in the 90s. Okay. Okay. I hope your eyebrows grew back, honey. But if not, it's coming back. They're coming back.

[C]

They are.

[D]

They are the thin eyebrows coming back? I won't be doing it. No, I'm not getting involved.

[B]

That happens.

[D]

My eyebrows are thin enough.

[B]

Is this.

[D]

Yes. You're really close. It is the late 90s, early 2000s. And our friend and friend Hailey is a preteen. Specifically, she is 12 years old when this story starts, and the year is 1998. What were you up to in 1998?

[B]

I was four. I was just bopping around. Me and my mom and my sister just bopping around. Going to basketball practice with my dad. He was my sister's coach. I was just bopping around.

[D]

I was 2 years old. So we were in a similar place.

[B]

We were just vibing.

[D]

Exactly. We were vibing. So our friend boyfriend, Haley, was 12, and at the time, she lives with her younger brother Dennis, who is 10, and their dad, George, whose age is not important to the story. What is important to know is that George is divorced from the kid's mom. Not for, like, a controversial reason. All you need to know about Haley's mom is that she is not present for this story, and she is not dead and George is not.

[B]

Okay, great. Everybody's fine.

[D]

Everybody's alive. Exactly. So George and our friend and friend Hailey and her little brother Dennis all live together in an old house about an hour away from the beach of Des Moines, Iowa. I personally never had the pleasure of going to Des Moines. I do love the Midwest. I do.

[B]

I just came back from Kansas and I actually like the Midwest.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

It's calm, it's got that big sky, it's got the corn fields, it's got the cheap property. Which Haley's dad George takes full advantage of. But despite the fact that he is a divorced dad of two with a not particularly lucrative job working for a medical supply company, he has a huge Victorian farmhouse with four bedrooms, two bathrooms on a 10 acre lot. Think like massive fireplace and mantel, George think creaky wood staircase. Think a parlor, which in this case has two giant plaid couches. You know the kind.

[B]

Oh God.

[D]

The family TV.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

A VCR, big back TV and a Nintendo 64.

[B]

Yep.

[D]

So other than the electronics, everything in the house is pretty old, including the house itself. Like George spends a lot of time on the weekends fixing it up. Exactly. But Haley, Haley loves this house. She calls it a spooky dollhouse from the very first time that she sees it. And Haley's love for the spooky dollhouse only grows after she sees practical magic and realizes that the house that Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman live in looks exactly like the spooky doll house.

[B]

Wait, now I can see this.

[D]

Instead of being by the ocean, this house is in the middle of cornfields. Which, if you ask Haley, makes it even spookier. And the spookier the better.

[B]

Oh, gosh. Yeah, I'm scared.

[D]

Well, before we get into our paranormal activity, there are some important things you need to know about George, Haley's dad. The first is that he is a really good dad. Hailey and her brother do eat a lot of Hamburger Helper. But in the little free time that he's not like working or doing repairs on the house he's spending with Haley and Dennis, who don't really want for anything. George will happily wear the same Converse for years to get his kids in a 64 game they want. And he never once complains when Haley wants to go to Blockbuster to rent like the Prince of Egypt for the fourth time in a month.

[B]

Nostalgia.

[D]

All of this being said, George does have a bit of a past.

[B]

Who doesn't like Hopeast or he's a criminal?

[D]

Well, back in his early 20s, George lived a whole life as a jam band roadie. His current job in medical supplies is not his first time supplying items with medicinal qualities.

[B]

Oh, okay, George. That's how you got the 10 acres.

[D]

Young George loved to commune with nature, other people, machines. Like, he was all about finding the energy in all things.

[B]

George was a freak.

[D]

George and the kid's mom had actually met out on the road. They had both been following a lesser known British ska band on their first American tour. And now in 1998, George is a reluctant capitalist. He's working for the man as a manager, no less.

[B]

I know George.

[D]

His younger self will be disgusted, but his current self needs to put Hamburger Helper on the table.

[B]

You gotta get that on the table.

[D]

Exactly. So he's thankful for his job at the medical supply company, not least because it's where he meets Lisa. Lisa is an account manager at the medical supply company.

[C]

Oh, come on now.

[D]

She is a wizard in Excel. And where George cared more about, like, the vibrations in the universe, Lisa wanted it all, like, properly sorted and color coded and preferably in a spreadsheet.

[B]

We need balance.

[D]

Lisa was the kind of person who needed to know not only what time an event was starting, but what time they needed to leave to get there. Unrelatable to me.

[B]

Unrelatable to me. I'm always late. I'm late and I'm tired. When I get there exactly. And I'm ready to go, I might ask, when can I leave?

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

Like, just being honest. Sorry.

[D]

The only unpredictable thing that Lisa allowed in her life is a tiny Pomeranian named Warren, after Warren Buffett. And just like his namesake, little Warren lived like a fluffy king. Like, for his birthday, Lisa would have Wagyu shipped internationally from Japan. On paper, George and Lisa would not seem to make sense. Like, the most money George has ever spent on anything was a new boiler for the house. And even that was secondhand. But you know what they say about opposites, right?

[B]

They attract.

[D]

And if there's anything George believes in more than energy and vibes, oh, gosh, it's love. Which is the highest vibrational energy out there.

[B]

Blessing and a curse, George. Blessing and a curse. Ugh.

[D]

So about 10 months after George and Lisa start dating, Lisa moves in with George and Haley and Dennis.

[B]

Stepmom.

[D]

How step girlfriend expect this to go.

[B]

I'm gonna say this. When white people start mixing families, it gets a little ghetto.

[D]

Say more, say more, say more. We've seen.

[B]

I mean, come on now. Gilmore Girls One Tree Hill.

[D]

Step by step ghetto. Well, the first, let's call it a beige flag comes a few weeks after Lisa moves in. Uh oh, it's Hailey's 13th birthday, which is a huge witchy birthday that George had gone all out for. There are like bat shaped pancakes for breakfast and black balloons all over the house. And the absolute best gift of all is a tiny little black kitten that Hailey immediately named Salem.

[B]

Oh, so George is. George is revving up for this activity. Yeah. Uh huh. He seems to be a conduit.

[D]

At breakfast, Lisa hands Hailey a sparkly pink birthday card.

[B]

Cute.

[D]

And inside is a crisp $10 bill. Okay, and that's all. Any immediate thoughts on this gift as compared to steak from Japan for the dog?

[B]

I'mma say this, and I mean this. And I'm sorry. Lisa, you are a raggedy bitch. You are raggedy ho. You gave that dog wagyu and you gave that girl $10 back then, that was the shipping on the wagyu.

[D]

Well, it's $10.98, which is at least $20 now.

[B]

No. Let me tell you something my mom always told me. You don't let nobody mistreat your kids. So. So Lisa, you had plenty of time to plan for this. You living in this house. Did she write anything nice in the card?

[D]

It was unsigned.

[B]

That is shade. She's throwing shade. And they wonder why 1 out of 16 white girls they will kill. So you have to be nice to them.

[D]

Is that a statistical.

[B]

I think I went a little low actually, to be honest. So you cannot just mistreat them at

[D]

13, especially when they're obsessed with witches.

[B]

That is an orange flag.

[D]

It doesn't help that Warren the dog and Salem the cat immediately start beefing, which is probably why tensions start to escalate in the house. Like within a month of moving in, Lisa kicks George out of his own home office because she and Warren need a quiet space to decompress. Even though Warren has an incredibly plush and unreasonably expensive doggy bed that has prime center real estate in the living room. And whenever he decides to nap there, which is all the time. Haley and Dennis are required to observe quiet hours because playing too much Mario Kart disturbs Warren's sleep schedule. And Lisa says that children, unlike dogs, are meant to play outside.

[B]

Ho. Hit the bricks. Get out. Get your stuff and get out of my house.

[D]

At what point would you say it is George's responsibility as a father to intervene at the card? Wow.

[B]

At the ten dollar card. So especially with woman to woman, I do think there is an energy, just like with if you bring a man into your house and you have sons. When you bring a woman in your house and you have a Daughter, you do have to protect the energy because one, she's probably jealous because she knows off the top of her head, you will never love anybody more than you love your daughter, especially a woman. She knows that. And you're not her mother, so it's like you can't even be like, we made this life and we love it. So she would have had to get

[A]

out of my house.

[B]

Yeah, instantly. And first of all, a Pomeranian named

[D]

Warren, after Warren Buffett.

[B]

And you're telling me that my children need to be quiet? I pay this house so they can be loud in this house? No.

[D]

There's 10 acres of cornfield so no one hears them.

[B]

Screenings send the dog outside.

[D]

Well, one afternoon.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

They hear Lisa screaming bloody murder from upstairs. George, who had been working out in the garden, comes sprinting in the house. And once he sees that the kids are all okay, even if they are very freaked out, he sprints upstairs where he finds Lisa totally unharmed, by the way, if clearly pissed and also soaking wet. Before George can even say anything, Lisa is like, george, I cannot live like this anymore.

[B]

Perfect.

[D]

I told you it was inhumane. Haley and Dennis, like, peek their heads around the banister so they can see just how confused their dad is. Lisa's like, it happened again. The shower went cold again. Why don't you try bathing in the Antarctic and tell me how you like it? This is not Hailey's first rodeo. The boiler, which is in the basement, has been an issue since they moved in. But before George can even respond to Lisa, Haley yells, not it. Before racing down the stairs. Which means it is only Dennis who is left standing there when George says, all right, who's gonna be my basement adventure buddy today?

[B]

Not the basement.

[D]

Okay, here's where I admit that even as an adult, a dark basement still freaks me.

[B]

I don't like, I don't go into my parents basement without my mom.

[D]

I was gonna ask, do you have any basement related fears? But it seems like the answer is yes.

[B]

You know what's funny? We had a dog and his cage was in the basement. And for some reason, when my mom would be like, oh, can you go let Austin out? I would go down there and it's just an eerie feeling. And you're just like, okay. I would just like open his cage and sprint upstairs and be like, okay, he's up. Like, I can't. I cannot do.

[D]

Yeah. According to Haley, the basement in this house is legitimately terrifying. She loved it, but from a distance.

[C]

Mm, mm.

[D]

The basement, like the house is old as fuck. And this is the Midwest, so this is tornado territory. And it's honestly possible that the basement was dug before the house as a standalone storm cellar.

[B]

It was probably like soundproof and all types of stuff.

[D]

It was definitely dug at a time when building standards were low, loose or just loose probably maybe didn't exist.

[B]

Yeah, they didn't have any.

[D]

So the walls were like old ass rocks, boulders basically. And at least one corner of the floor was just dirt. And it never got warm, even on the hottest day of the summer. And it smelled like a combination of old wet dirt, cobwebs, and potatoes, though there were no potatoes in sight. Also, one of the previous owners had left behind a gift, which is a life size cardboard cutout of a man in a top hat stuck to a wall with some sort of like industrial strength glue that nothing could dissolve. It clearly began its life as some sort of prop for like a school play or something. But after being left in the damp, dark basement for Lord knows how many years, it looked sort of. We have a photo, actually, I'm gonna show it to you. This is what is in the corner of the basement for our listeners. Could you describe this photo?

[B]

It is, first of all, horrid. It looks like a Lego man with all black. He is absolutely alive. And it's just like a cardboard. It doesn't look like anybody. And it's just a face with a circle. No other features, by the way. And he's in a black, obviously black suit. And he used to have hands maybe. And this is stuck to the wall.

[D]

Can't get it off.

[B]

Can't get it off. And also, everybody knows the lore about top Hat man.

[D]

I don't know the lore about Top Hat man.

[B]

I'll tell you this after the story.

[D]

Okay, well, George, trying to lighten the mood around this, always refers to it as Old Gus.

[B]

We named it.

[D]

Mm. Yeah. So these are the vibes of the basement, which maybe explains why as George is checking out the boiler, Dennis remains stationed as close to the stairs as humanly possible.

[B]

And guys, if you just saw that corner, the vibes are horrendous in the basement. Horrible.

[D]

Like George has to keep telling Dennis to come closer so that the flashlight Dennis is holding actually shines on the boiler. Exactly. And this is where our story starts to become a classic bit of family lore.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

So that while Hailey was not technically there to witness this part, she feels like she was. So the story goes that as George is doing his best to inspect the boiler with some less than steady lighting assistant, some shaky Flashlight work from Dennis. Dennis says, dad, there's someone here. Now, George is only half paying attention, so he's like, of course, Dennis. We've all seen old Gus. He's our friend, remember? No, he's not. But then Dennis responds in a voice that is strangely calm, given what he's about to say. Dennis says, no, dad, there's someone else. And at this, George sits up. He looks around to check that it's not Hailey trying to scare her little brother. And when he sees nothing besides Dennis and old Gus, he's like, okay, do you know who it is? And Dennis shakes his head, and then he pauses. And then he says, it's a man.

[B]

No, that's enough for me.

[D]

His name is Morris. And then Dennis looks straight at George and says, morris wants us to leave.

[C]

As we all know, hot girls have tummy issues. And I myself am a hot girl, which means that I have tummy issues. Specifically, ibs. What that means is that I'm literally always looking for a way to get fiber into my diet. But I'm gonna be honest. I get bored of oatmeal and broccoli. Makes me gassy. And that's why I love Hero Bread. Specifically, they're noodles, which a Single serving has 32 grams of fiber. That is so much fiber. And I get to eat pasta. What's better than that? But Herobread doesn't just make noodles. They also have sliced bread, loaves, tortillas, bagels, and they have 0 to 5 grams of net carbs and 11 to 32 grams of fiber in each of their products, which means that you are covered. You get to indulge in some soft, fluffy bread or some delicious noodles and get a little extra fiber and a little extra protein. What's better than that? Herobred is offering 10% off your order. Go to Hero Co and use code Gossip at checkout. That is code Gossip. There are very few things I love more in the world than to sleep. You can ask literally any of my friends and family, and they will tell you. Rachel. She's sleepy. She loves to sleep. What that means is that I'm so specific about my bedding and my bedding texture. There is nothing I hate more than buying a pair of sheets and then they pill after the first wash. Ah. That's why I love Bolan Branch. I got the most loveliest sheets from Bolan Branch. They are so soft. They are so. They are so cooling. They're this beautiful pink color. I am well and truly obsessed with them to the point that I'm gonna be honest. I dread having to take them off my bed to have to change my sheets.

[D]

I be not changing my sheets because of how nice these Bolen Branch sheets are. I'm admitting that here to y' all and the world. That's how good these sheets are.

[C]

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[D]

All.

[C]

It is officially summer, which means that I am looking for clothes that keep me cool but also look cool. And that's why I want to tell y' all about this piece that I got from Quint. It is their 100% organic cotton poplin a line maxi skirt. It's a bit of a mouthful.

[D]

I'm not gonna lie.

[C]

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[D]

Now George has been on enough mushroom trips to know that there are mysteries in the world that he does not want to fuck with. So he grabs Dennis by the back of his shirt and haunts. Yeah, we gotta go, baby. Up the stairs. Carrying Dennis like a suitcase. Basically. Which does not stop Dennis from shrieking. We live in a haunted house. So loudly that Haley and Lisa and Warren all come running. Hailey is thrilled by this ghostly turn of events. Please. Well, Lisa just wants to know when the boiler will be fixed.

[B]

I'm so tired of Lisa. It doesn't make sense. Make her go downstairs and fix it.

[D]

Okay, so what is your next move upon finding out that your house is potentially haunted?

[B]

Do we have family where we can go?

[D]

Can we leave?

[B]

Can we leave?

[D]

Um, I'm gonna say no.

[B]

So we need a hotel for just maybe a day.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Because she needs a hot shower. Even though I do not like her, but she is a woman that we are trying to take care of.

[C]

Mm.

[B]

We need to. And we might need to leave the cat and dog here. I'm so sorry for the night. And if we can't. If we can take him, great. But if we can't, the cat knows what it's doing. Maybe we bring the dog.

[D]

Yeah, it's a black cat, too.

[B]

Who knows It's a black cat. The black cat will be fine.

[D]

Well, at that moment, Lisa's wrath is a bigger problem to George. He had been able to inspect enough of the boiler to know that whatever was going on was above his pay grade. So he finds a repairman in the yellow pages, and then he does what Any reason will follow in the year of our Lord and Savior, 1998, which is go to the local library to find out if there is any historical reason to believe that this house exactly might be haunted. This trip to the library helps confirm what George suspected, which is that no one has died a grisly death in their house. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. At least not recently enough to be recorded in the newspaper archives.

[B]

And that's the scary part.

[D]

What's happening before then?

[B]

We don't know.

[D]

We don't know. But George's biggest clue in this mystery comes not from the library, but from a chance encounter with a neighbor whose family has lived in the same house for going on, like, a century. At this point, George is out cleaning the yard one day when he sees his neighbor, and he thinks to ask him if any of the previous owners had ever mentioned any weird goings on in the house. And the neighbor's like, not really. And then he's like, well, I guess there was old man Morris. According to the neighbor, Old man Morris was the owner before last of George's house. So it's George, an owner that we don't know. And then old man Morris.

[B]

Somebody got the hell out of there after Morris. That's who.

[D]

Old man Morris had lived in the house for decades. He had no real family or even really friends in town. Like, he was basically only seen when he was tending to the house or the yard, which he kept doing well into his 90s when he died in the house of a heart attack. Now how would you feel about learning someone died in your house? And would it matter how they died?

[B]

Yes. I need to know the state they were in when they died because did they peacefully transition? That is so important. Like if they did not, we need to cleanse it. We need to do something for them. We need to throw them a birthday party. I don't know what we need to do, but I need to know how. And the heart attack would confuse me because what was he doing when he had a heart attack?

[D]

Was he happy?

[B]

Was he mean spirited? I don't know.

[D]

These are all important questions. Hailey is really wanting to answer these questions. And as a true child of the 90s who basically only started watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch cause her dad would not let her see the craft. Hailey volunteers to run a seance.

[B]

Hailey, this is a horrible idea. This is horrible.

[D]

And Lisa agrees with you.

[B]

Of course, if Lisa agrees, do not do it.

[D]

At this point, even Lisa is like, george, you gotta do something.

[B]

We gotta do a seance.

[D]

Because there have been some strange happenings since that fateful basement trip. Like when the repairman came to fix the boiler, he couldn't actually find anything wrong with it, even though the water still sporadically runs cold in the shower. Windows would slam shut in the kids bedrooms, though only when it was too cold to have the windows open at night anyway. Photos and pictures would fall from the walls, but only ones that Lisa had hung. And at a certain point, all this supernatural phenomena starts to become too much for poor little Warren the dog. And this is when Hayley and Dennis start noticing little puddles around the house.

[B]

The dog is peeing.

[D]

Lisa insists that Warren can feel the anxiety in the house. Which means that she needs to spend even more time devoting herself to him.

[B]

Oh God.

[D]

And what this means is that it's Hailey and Dennis who end up on Warren cleanup duty. So George decides that it's time to call in outside reinforcements. Which presents its own set of problems. Because you cannot just look up ghost hunters in my area. And the yellow Pages. Yeah, and Google didn't exist yet.

[B]

Oh no.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

So what would you do? Exactly what would you do? It's 1998. You've got a ghost.

[B]

We gotta go find somebody.

[C]

But where?

[B]

Word of mouth. How to go around the town. Also, to be honest, I'm gonna say it. I would have probably went to the church. Been like, hey, you got somebody that can.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Holy water.

[B]

What do y' all have in here? Please Y' all need to. I need help.

[D]

Yeah. Do you have a particular denomination? Are you going Catholic on a coin?

[B]

I'm not going Catholic. I'm going wherever I can. And to be honest, I need a black woman as quickly as possible. I need her in the. In the space.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Because she's gonna be like, uh, y' all need to leave.

[D]

Get out. Get out.

[B]

This ain't it. This ain't it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, what happens next is probably my favorite part of this whole story. One night, while channel surfing, George is struck by the most brilliant idea. It's almost like fate. And it certainly has nothing to do with the joints that he keeps hidden in a shelf too high for the kids and Lisa to find. Two days later, the doorbell rings. Hailey answers and she is greeted by a vision that she will never forget. At the door is a woman draped in blue velvet and silver necklaces. There are crosses and stars, evil eyes and ankh's galore. Overall, this is a black lace kimono. And on the woman's head is a jade green headscarf. Think like early Erykah Badu with a little bit of Stevie Nicks.

[B]

Oh, she was giving it to the girls at the door.

[D]

Hailey screams, oh, my God, it's you. Because at her door is none other than Miss Sapphire.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[D]

The legend of local TV commercials.

[C]

The.

[D]

The Miss Sapphire. She pauses and sniffs the air before crossing the door frame. She gives Hailey a little pat on the shoulder and says, come, child. Today you learn how to see beyond the world of men. Oh, now I.

[B]

She kind of ate that.

[D]

Think George is brilliant for this, but would you hire someone to fix your ghost problem off of a late night TV commercial? It is the 90s.

[B]

Listen, we've all wanted to order Peter Popoff's miracle water, okay? So I have been a victim of wanting to order the miracle prayer water in the middle of the night. I probably would. Honestly, if she was on TikTok Shop

[D]

today, she could get me the Florida water.

[B]

The Florida water? Please.

[D]

People get shit from Etsy witches. I don't think they should.

[B]

I don't think they should because you don't know what they're getting there. You don't know what they did to it.

[D]

Also, what if they fuck up your package? What if they just send you something they don't mean? To who? It's like olive oil or just like, I wish for a love spell and now I have a death spell. I don't know. I ordered a restaurant.

[B]

Everybody dies.

[D]

Exactly. And that's why you should hire off a late night TV commercial. Hire local.

[B]

Hire local. And at least she has a commercial. She's putting money into her craft.

[D]

She got money. She got money. So the children follow Ms. Sapphire as she walks through the house, like knocking on walls and inspecting dusty corners. Hailey is too starstruck to talk, so it's Dennis who's like, why are you called Sapphire? And Ms. Sapphire is like, ghosts despise the color blue. That's how I knew I was called to this work. From a young age, I felt the inherent blueness of my spirit.

[B]

They don't like blue. I need more blue things.

[D]

Lisa, who had been all on board with fixing the ghost problem, now had some questions. She turns like, you hired the 1-800-late-night witch?

[B]

Yes, I did.

[D]

But George is already asking Ms. Sapphire about her process. With genuine curiosity, he's like, is it okay for my children to watch you work? Will they disturb you? By this point, Ms. Sapphire is like opening every single kitchen cabinet. And with her head under the sink, she's like, of course it's fine. I'm always being watched. That's what it means to be connected to the spirit world. George is like, yes, of course. That makes sense.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

He then explains that Dennis is the one who had seen the ghost. So Miss Sapphire crouches down to look Dennis in the eyes, and after a really long moment, she just nods. And then she's like, children are naturally sensitive to the spirit world. I was around his age when I started hearing the voices, too.

[B]

Too. I'd be like, dennis, you hear something.

[D]

And then she starts sprinkling salt in the corners of the kitchen.

[B]

Get that salt, baby.

[D]

At this point, Lisa is rolling her eyes so hard that it looks like she's the one getting exercise.

[B]

Lisa, please.

[D]

After Ms. Sapphire determines that the kitchen is clear of spirits, she sets up shop right at their kitchen table. She's lighting incense and candles. Exactly. She rings a small bell three times to gauge the energy of the house. And at this point, it's time for her to go from room to room to room to detect any spirits. This is when Lisa abandons them. She's muttering something about waste of money and she goes up to the office. Meanwhile, George and the kids follow behind Ms. Sapphire like it's some kind of church procession. As she goes from room to room, feeling like the walls and the light fixtures, she has this long silver chain with a pendulum at the end. And in each room she waits for a sign of ghostly movement. Dining room, nothing. Living room, all clear. Home Office, kids, Bedroom. All clear.

[B]

Okay, so we're safe. We got some places we could sit around and be. Fine, I guess.

[D]

It's when Ms. Sapphire gets to the upstairs bathroom that she pauses Ms. Coldwater. The pendulum starts making small circles above her palm. Okay, why is this scaring me? Her eyes widen before she says, there's an older gentleman here.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

He's very connected to this place. His name is Morris. None other than D. This sends Hayley and Dennis fleeing back to the kitchen where the salt will protect them. George is dumbstruck because he had never actually told Ms. Sapphire about old man Morris. So George is now a Miss Sapphire believer. He is in awe of her talent and sensitivity. Are you in awe of Ms. Sapphire's talent?

[B]

I'm in awe. I'm in awe. I'm in awe of her writing, honestly. She's got a great pen.

[D]

The pen, dude.

[B]

The pen. On Ms. Sapphire. Find this woman.

[D]

Well, unfortunately, Ms. Sapphire has actually only made more trouble for George, because now his children are now absolutely 100% convinced that there is a ghost in the house.

[B]

So they should have been convinced two weeks ago.

[D]

George is like, okay, what does Morris want? And Ms. Sapphire closes her eyes. And then she's like, morris doesn't want to let go of the house. This house was his life. And he's having a hard time here,

[C]

especially since you brought her in.

[A]

Ooh.

[D]

And at this, George feels a chill go down his spine. He's like, you're not talking about Haley, are you? Because George can tolerate a lot of things, but he will not tolerate a ghost fucking with his daughter. Ms. Sapphire's immediately like, no, Morris loves the children. That's why he doesn't like her. Morris doesn't like the way she treats the house or the children.

[B]

Now, Morris being actually, like, an ally.

[D]

And then Ms. Sapphire is like, morris says he'll leave if she does.

[B]

She gotta go today. I said that she had to pack her bag over the $10, so she gotta go now for sure.

[D]

Well, my next question here is, would you kick out your girlfriend if a TV psychic told you that a ghost didn't like her? And based on the expression on your

[B]

face, I kicked out my girlfriend for less. She would have got kicked out over the $10. So the Pomeranian, the $10. The screaming in the shower, she. 10 strikes. You're out, baby.

[D]

Well, George definitely respects the hell out of Ms. Sapphire, but he's like, I'm not gonna let a ghost run my dating life. Is there anything else we can do here, George, please unfortunately, Ms. Sapphire actually does have a solution that does not involve breaking up with Lisa. She's like, ghosts are actually a little bit like houseplants. They get sad when you don't talk to them or, like, include them in your daily life.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

So Ms. Sapphire tells George every morning when him and the kids wake up, everyone in the house must turn a circle clockwise four times and then greet Morris. Simple good morning will suffice.

[B]

Simple.

[C]

Good.

[B]

Hello, Morris.

[D]

But the process has to be repeated at night, except with a counterclockwise circle.

[B]

Okay, now, Morris, now you're getting. Now you're getting a little bit much.

[D]

And a good night.

[B]

And a good night.

[D]

And a good night. Ms. Sapphire says it should be enough to satisfy Morris, who she says does not seem to be a vengeful spirit, just a lonely one.

[B]

He just wants a family.

[D]

Exactly. Oh, Morris, we are almost at the end of our story. Would you be okay doing this little ritual for the foreseeable future?

[B]

I would begrudgingly do it every day. I would be like, good morning. Morning, Morris. Hi. Good night, Morris. I'll be like, which way is counterclockwise? I don't know.

[D]

That would be the part that would trip me up.

[B]

I'm like, I'm gonna just do eight circles both ways. And if you're still mad. I'm really sorry.

[D]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

I'm literally sorry.

[D]

I don't have a clock on me right now.

[B]

I can't do this.

[D]

I use electronic clocks.

[B]

I love you. Maybe a family game night. And when they let Morris play.

[D]

That'd be sweet.

[B]

They do that?

[D]

Yeah. This is the best thing that has ever happened to Haley in her whole 13 years of her life.

[B]

I mean, she's had.

[D]

She has a real life ghost in her house. And not only a real life ghost, but one that she is required to communicate with.

[B]

That's her homeboy.

[D]

That's her new homie.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

So obviously she leads the charge. Every morning. She reminds Dennis to say good morning to Morris. She talks to him while she brushes her teeth.

[B]

Now I'm scared.

[D]

She even catches George talking to Morris about, like, his old roadie days while he's weeding the garden.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

The only person who does not participate in this new ritual is Lisa. Even after George asked her to do it for the kids. Whenever Haley or Dennis mention Morris, Lisa just huffs and rolls her eyes and tells George that he shouldn't be encouraging this sort of behavior.

[B]

Encouraging? We're gonna die. This is so you can stay here, babe. You're not Paying a bill. This is your rent now. You spinning your ass in a circle and talk to Morris.

[D]

The ghost wants you gone. Specifically.

[B]

Yeah, literally, we're doing this so you don't have to get out.

[D]

But maybe this is why Lisa is the only one who the shower continues to run cold for. Oh, and little Warren the dog never seems to fully recover from all the paranormal happenings. In fact, Lisa's final straw is when Warren starts doing that thing that cats do where they just stare at nothing. Like, one day, Warren refuses to stop staring at the basement door. He won't allow anyone to drag him away. He starts yelping if Lisa goes anywhere near the door. And after hours of the, Lisa finally packs her bags and Warren's doggy bed and leaves. And Hailey and Dennis never see her again. And that's basically our story. I do have some updates, but I wanted to ask, do you think Lisa is a villain or just a woman driven to the brink?

[B]

So I think both. I think Lisa has a low tolerance level. So I think she is driven to the brink of her tolerance, for sure. Like, I think her tolerance was like this. And she was. She tried as long as she could. I do think she was being a bit like a meanie. Meanie pants. And honestly, Lisa, you're kind of a bitch. So you could have just turned in a circle. It's not that bad. Do you want hot water?

[D]

Do you want your little dog to be fine?

[B]

And Morris said, and your little dog, too. You can get the hell out of my house.

[D]

Literally. I just think a woman who loves Excel spreadsheets shouldn't try to become a stepmom.

[A]

No.

[B]

You want order like, you can't. And I feel like a family, let alone a blended family, can be very chaotic. And also with a preteen, she didn't even. I was just about to say she didn't get into the teenage years of having a stepdaughter, so she should have just packed her bag a long time ago.

[D]

Yeah, well, the updates are.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

About a month or two after Lisa moves out, George invited Ms. Sapphire back just to have a check in with Morris. He and the kids hadn't heard anything from Morris in a while. Like, not even a slammed kitchen cabinet. And they were honestly kind of sad about it.

[B]

They miss him.

[D]

So George was happy to hear that Morris had, in fact, not moved on yet. But he was just content.

[B]

He's happy.

[D]

He's happy. George had continued his reading on local ghost lore since that fateful basement trip. And he was curious about the Color of his aura at this point. And according to Ms. Sapphire, their auras matched like two twin flames. And that is how George starts dating Ms. Sapphire. Once Hailey and Dennis move out, George starts accompanying Ms. Sapphire in her ghostly adventures as a spectro videographer.

[B]

Wait, no. He got back to his witchy roots. George, look at you.

[D]

And our very last update. One day when Hailey and Dennis are all grown up And George and Ms. Sapphire are out on the road, Hayley and Dennis are catching up on the phone. It's close to Halloween, and Haley brings up Morris the ghost. And for the first time, Healy notices that Dennis looks a little sheepish. And this is when finally, over two decades later, Dennis confesses. He's like, I have a secret. That fateful day when the boiler broke, Dennis was deep in his Pokemon phase. And instead of spending time with like, Charizard and Jigglypuff and Squirtle, as was his God given right as a child of the 9D, he had to follow his dad down into the gates of hell. So he decided to have his own little fun. He made the whole thing up. He had simply come up with the name Morris on the spot. And the fact that it matched the name of the man who died in their house was a freaky little coincidence. Dennis swears Haley to secrecy. So to this day, George still does not know the truth about old man Morris. Although it is worth pointing out, to this day, no one is quite sure just how Ms. Sapphire knew the name Morris. And that is the end of our story.

[B]

I think the neighbor that they went to after he said that, do you

[D]

think Dennis just accidentally tapped into the astral plane and Morris is real?

[B]

I think that Morris is real. And I also think that sometimes it's like when you meet somebody or black people do this all the time. When you look at each other and you're thinking the same thing and you say the same thing. I think that we are all attached to a collective consciousness that we can only excess if we are really, like, into it. And I think that he truly was like, I'm gonna make something up. And then Mr. Morris said, Watch this, watch this. You think you about to make something up? Watch this, watch this, baby.

[D]

I'm about to change your life.

[B]

I'm about to change your life. Because think about being Dennis. And this lady says, oh, his name is Morris.

[D]

I know.

[B]

And you're like, this shit's crazy.

[D]

I know.

[B]

I have chills. I'm scared. Ms. Sapphire knows too much. She got her a man. So there you go.

[D]

She got everything she wanted out of it. I do wonder if Ms. Sapphire perhaps conspired with Morris to be like we

[B]

got to get this out of here. You know what?

[D]

Game recognized game Game recognized game I'm

[B]

get a bitch out of here.com llc get her out of here. Pack her bags. What do we gotta do? And she got paid and she got a man and a house. Ms. Sapphire, I'm a fan of your work girl.

[D]

I'm a fan the diva that you are. Ms. Sapphire.

[B]

Can you imagine coming to the door like that with the silver chains on please?

[D]

Thank you for listening to Normal Gossip. If you have a gossip story to share with us us email [e-mail] or you can leave us a voicemail at 2679 GOSSIP if you love this podcast and want to support us, become a friend or a friend of a [e-mail] youm can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok orMalGossip. You can follow me on all social media heydanae subscribe to our YouTube channel EffectorMedia to watch today's episode. Normal Animal Gossip is written by me, Rachel Hampton and jtolviera. This podcast was produced by Sierra Spragley, Ricks and jtolviera. Our audio engineer is Samantha Gatsick. Emily Cherish is our video editor. Theme music composed by Rishikesh Hirway. The co creators and dowager queens of Normal gossip are Kelsey McKinney and Defector's supervising producer Alex Sujong Laughlin. Justin Ellis is Defector's projects editor. Jasper Wang is Defectors Business Guy. Tom Ley is our Editor in Chief. This season was made in memory of Dan McQuaid who ran our merch store which you can find at normalgossip Store. Tara Jacoby designed our show Art thank you to Brandi Jensen, David Roth, Katherine Shue, Sabrina Embler, Chris Thompson, Dave McKenna, Patrick Redford and Ray Ratto for your help with this season. Thank you to the rest of the Defector staff. Defector Media is a collectively owned subscriber based media company. Normal Gossip is a proud member of radiotech. I am your host Rachel Hampton and remember you didn't hear this from me.

[B]

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