Skaldova - Ep. 11: The Collapse

Summary

Not Another D&D Podcast: Skaldova - Ep. 11: The Collapse

Release Date: May 23, 2025
Host/Author: Headgum
Dungeon Master: Brian Murphy
Players: Emily Axford, Caldwell Tanner, Jake Hurwitz, Chris

---

Introduction

In Episode 11 of Not Another D&D Podcast titled "Skaldova - The Collapse," Dungeon Master Brian Murphy guides players Emily Axford, Caldwell Tanner, Jake Hurwitz, and Chris through a tumultuous adventure set in the realms of Bahumia and Beyond. This episode delves deeper into the complexities of the Age of Stories, the lingering effects of dark magic, and the personal quests of each character.

---

Recap of Last Episode

Brian Murphy provides a concise summary of the previous session:

"Last time, our three unusual fighters faced off against Bolric and his shitty army of monks. During the battle, you learned some disturbing truths about the Age of Stories. Namely, that the hilt turned on humanity and killed the princess's pet dragon. And it was this very dragon's rotting corpse that gave way to the corrupted water source, which became black lace. From there, you defeated the bad guy, stopped the ritual, and rescued Lila. Sadly, her knight, Ser Holden, was killed. But happily, her brother Braxton was as well. You took a moment to collect yourselves from the shock of seeing a 200-year-old dragon body and perhaps the even larger shock of seeing Zudrik's handsome, tattooed face. And that's where we are now."
(03:03)

---

The Journey Continues

The party finds themselves standing at the head of the ink-black cistern, where the aftermath of their previous battle still lingers. Lila confronts them, expressing gratitude and revealing deeper layers of her family's plight.

Key Dialogue:

• Lila: "I can't thank you enough. I can never repay you. Then she looks up at you. Three of you caked in blood, only some of it your own. How did you find us? Who sent you?"
  (04:24)

• Caldwell Tanner: "You know I go crazy for Tim Tam slam. That's what Boggy likes to do after he wins."
  (02:35)

Notable Moments:

• Tim Tam Slam Banter: The group engages in light-hearted banter about the "Tim Tam Slam," a playful reference that adds humor to the intense situation.
  (02:35 – 03:09)

• Revelation of Lila’s Family Struggles: Lila reveals that her mother has been afflicted and that her father made dire sacrifices to save her, introducing emotional stakes to the narrative.
  (04:05 – 05:15)

---

Encounter with the Wand of Wonder

As tensions rise, the party discovers the unstable "Wand of Wonder," a relic infused with unpredictable magic.

Key Actions:

• Emotional Decision-Making: Caldwell suggests using the wand to control the corrupted dragon corpse, leading to an unexpected magical backlash.
  (12:09 – 12:37)

• Magical Chaos Unleashed: The wand's spell, "snake release," causes uncontrollable gusts of wind, demonstrating the unpredictable nature of wild magic.
  (09:03 – 12:37)

Notable Quotes:

• Brian Murphy (DM): "That's why we were called Boggy's Blood."
  (14:43)

• Emily Axford: "If this be poison, this poison be sweet."
  (07:22)

---

The Collapsing Castle and Skill Challenges

The cave begins to collapse, forcing the party into a series of skill-based challenges to escape the crumbling fortress.

Key Challenges:

1. Navigating Through the Cave Beast: The party encounters grotesque creatures and must use strategic magic and combat skills to survive.
   (04:00 – 09:12)

2. Skill Challenge to Escape: The group undertakes a critical skill challenge, needing nine successes before six failures to escape before the castle collapses entirely. Throughout this, players utilize athletics, animal handling, perception, intimidation, and other skills to overcome obstacles.
   (36:06 – 45:36)

Notable Moments:

• Caldwell’s Creative Solutions: From suggesting burning the corrupted dragon to orchestrating acrobatic escapes, Caldwell's ingenuity shines.
  (15:18 – 16:10)

• Jake's Tactical Moves: Jake attempts to manipulate the environment with his magic, leading to both successes and humorous setbacks.
  (20:13 – 28:34)

Notable Quotes:

• Murph (DM): "This is a skill challenge. You guys need to amass nine successes before six failures."
  (34:38)

• Caldwell Tanner: "Sometimes the best way through is in. It's time for the annual Polar Bear plunge."
  (44:10)

---

Rescue and Sacrifice

Amidst the chaos, the party successfully rescues Faye, a monk battling the Black Lace, but not without cost.

Key Actions:

• Boggy's Desperation and Heroism: In a pivotal moment, Boggy accepts his potential demise but is saved by the timely intervention of the Wand of Wonder.
  (47:43 – 50:12)

• Lila’s Deteriorating Condition: Despite their efforts, Lila's condition worsens, adding urgency to their mission to find a cure.
  (52:12 – 53:25)

Notable Quotes:

• Brian Murphy (DM): "They didn't say anything about when we needed to bring you back. We're allowed to mess around in the were down here for a little while if we'd like."
  (12:58)

• Emily Axford: "I have feelings for you."
  (33:31)

---

Climactic Escape

The party successfully escapes the collapsing castle just in time, but not without emotional and physical burdens.

Key Moments:

• Final Athletic Checks: The group executes a final series of athletic challenges to climb out of the devastated castle.
  (45:36 – 46:39)

• Dusting Off Debris: With the Wand's magic and their combined efforts, they emerge battered but alive under the starlit sky, only to face the heart-wrenching sight of Faye on the brink of death.
  (49:17 – 54:24)

Notable Quotes:

• Murph (DM): "You guys give me nature checks."
  (54:21)

• Jake Hurwitz: "I'm really curious, but I actually really respect modesty, so I don't even look, Boggy."
  (45:17 – 56:09)

---

Conclusion and Future Threads

As the episode concludes, the party grapples with the aftermath of their harrowing escape, including Faye's critical condition and the unresolved mysteries surrounding the Black Lace.

Key Points:

• Hope and Determination: Under the celestial guidance of the "Voyager" constellation, the party pledges to find a cure for Faye and continue their quest against the dark forces.
  (54:52 – 55:25)

• Emotional Farewells: The closing moments reflect the deep bonds forged through their trials, with characters expressing gratitude and determination to support one another.
  (55:25 – 57:49)

Notable Quotes:

• Caldwell Tanner: "Keep breathing. Can we give her a potion or something?"
  (52:37)

• Brian Murphy (DM): "You have one more to get yourselves past this."
  (44:10 – 55:25)

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Caldwell Tanner: "Sometimes the best way through is in. It's time for the annual Polar Bear plunge."
   (44:10)

2. Emily Axford: "I have feelings for you."
   (33:31)

3. Chris: "If we're being raided and we show up without all of the bodies, oh, yeah."
   (14:09)

4. Brian Murphy (DM): "You guys give me nature checks."
   (54:21)

5. Caldwell Tanner: "You're too hot on yourself, friend."
   (16:01)

---

Final Thoughts

Episode 11 of Not Another D&D Podcast masterfully blends high-stakes adventure with personal storytelling, humor, and emotional depth. As the party faces collapsing structures, dark magic, and personal losses, their camaraderie and ingenuity shine through. The introduction of unpredictable magic items like the Wand of Wonder adds layers of complexity, while the players' interactions provide both levity and profound moments. With Faye's fate hanging in the balance and the mysteries of the Black Lace still unresolved, listeners are left eager for the next installment in this riveting campaign.

---

Stay Connected:
For more adventures and updates, follow Not Another D&D Podcast on Substack, and join their Patreon community at Patreon.com/nadpod. Don’t miss upcoming live shows in Hollywood, Seattle, and Las Vegas!

Transcript

[Jake Hurwitz]

This episode of NADPOD is brought to you by Tales Unrolled. Tales Unrolled is a new Dungeons and Dragons series out now, co created by Luis Carazzo and Christian Navarro. Alma. The show's first campaign takes place in a small tropical town called Alma that's suddenly plagued by a mysterious curse. Four of the villagers must come together despite their differences to save their town and the people they love, or else risk falling victim to the curse. God damn, that sounds like good D and D. Tales Unrolled is a D fantasy mystery that explores themes like ancestry, sacrifice, lineage, and legacy. There's also a healthy dose of romance. And you might actually know the DM Luis Carrazo from his role as Xerxes on Critical Role's Exandria Unlimited Calamity. He is hopping behind the screen to weave a magical novelistic story heavy with emotion. So if you're ready to delve into the world of Alma the then head to their YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Tuesday on the Tales Unrolled channel or as a podcast with extra sound design on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you listen. Again, new episodes of Tales Unrolled Alma drop weekly on Tuesdays. So roll on down to Alma and check out this great new show. All right, that's it from us. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye.

[Nate]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Emily Axford]

Welcome to the campaign. After the campaign. This is not another D and D podcast.

[Murph]

Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Skaldova, thank you for that extra long.

[Jake Hurwitz]

One because we're victorious.

[Murph]

Yes, you are. Sing in victory. I am your dungeon master. Jay Kurwitz here with Brian Murphy.

[Brian Murphy]

God damn. He's got the gloves of the Ram. Cedric of the murder.

[Chris]

Oh, that would have been good if it ended in Welly Hamdam.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, yeah.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Too bad.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, that's. That's.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Or so Noah go crazy for gloves of the Ram. Something like that. Sharp dressed man.

[Murph]

Caldwell dirty. I know what you mean.

[Chris]

Yeah, you got it.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Why didn't you acknowledge it?

[Chris]

That is incredible.

[Murph]

Emily Axford.

[Chris]

No, I'm going, Christopher.

[Murph]

You got it.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Come on, you just said it.

[Chris]

Yeah, and I was choking on laughter.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay.

[Murph]

And of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner. What's he gonna do now?

[Emily Axford]

We have to.

[Brian Murphy]

You know what you have to do.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You know I go crazy for Tim Tam slam.

[Jake Hurwitz]

That's what Boggy likes to do after he wins.

[Emily Axford]

Tim Tam Slam.

[Chris]

Tim Tam Slam.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yeah.

[Emily Axford]

Why are you acting like this is a thing, Emily?

[Chris]

Tim Tam Slam is where you eat too many cookies.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yeah, you eat the cookies, you bite a little Edge of The cookie and. And then you bite another edge and then you put it into your drink and you slurp it through and it makes the cookie all soggy.

[Chris]

Or it's like when you do that thing where you pile a ton of Pringles on top of each other instead of eating them one by one and then take a big bite, but you do that with cookies instead.

[Brian Murphy]

I feel like you could have done.

[Emily Axford]

Like, Boggy Raj, man. You could have done like sharp Tim Tam slam.

[Chris]

Tim Tam slam.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Tim Tam slams.

[Murph]

Well, now that Tim Tam slams are settled and confirmed as fact, how about a little recap?

[Emily Axford]

Let's do it.

[Chris]

That'd be good.

[Murph]

Last time, our three unusual fighters faced off against Bolric and his shitty army of monks. During the battle, you learned some disturbing truths about the Age of Stories. Namely, that the hilt turned on humanity and killed the princess's pet dragon. And it was this very dragon's rotting corpse that gave way to the corrupted water source, which became black lace. From there, you defeated the bad guy, stopped the ritual, and rescued Lila. Sadly, her knight, Ser Holden, was killed. But happily, her. Her brother Braxton was as well. You took a moment to collect yourselves from the shock of seeing a 200-year-old dragon body. And perhaps the even larger shock of seeing Zudrik's handsome, tattooed face. And that's where we are now.

[Brian Murphy]

I put my helmet back on.

[Murph]

So you guys are standing at the head of the ink black cistern. Cicada's tree trunk neck is arcing across the bricks behind you. The adrenaline is starting to wear off. Your breath beginning to return. And Lila standing silently staring past the butchered bodies of the monks, deep into the pool. She speaks to you without turning. I. I can't thank you enough. I can never repay you. Then she looks up at you. Three of you caked in blood, only some of it your own. How did you find us? Who sent you?

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, well, you don't have to repay us because we are getting paid.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes. Yes, your father would be paying us handsomely.

[Murph]

Your father did, of course, but. That's right.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, as the manner of finding you while we. I suppose you know, we followed a trail of information and good fortune.

[Murph]

And hearing you guys name her father. Her face falls and she remembers why she came. My mother, She's. She's one of them now. Or something worse. Please help me get home.

[Alfredo]

Yes, of course. May I ask, what was your mother beset with that your father was trying to cure her of?

[Murph]

My mother was sick for as long as I can remember. Slowly Dying for my entire life. And my father went to the ends of the earth, tried to move mountains to make her live. And eventually, I believe he sold his soul and. And gave her black laces as his last hope.

[Alfredo]

So, what do you feel you'll be returning to?

[Murph]

I fear whatever is left of her. I fear for my father's safety. I fear for the safety of. She looks down. Of his knight. Sir Mathis.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, his knight.

[Alfredo]

Well, Sir Mathis did give us this.

[Chris]

I hold up our shimmering weapons.

[Alfredo]

Ser Matthis. He was very concerned about you. And if anything, maybe the reason he isn't here is that he's trying to protect your father from your mother.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, yes.

[Murph]

She kicks a brick. Knights in their oaths.

[Alfredo]

But it's okay if he's in the doghouse? For now, yes.

[Caldwell Tanner]

But, you know, look, not far away to Mathis Dyer, if you wish for knights upholding their oaths. Or you have our friend Welly right here, and she will guide you safely to your home.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I nudge them closer together.

[Alfredo]

I whisper, I'm kind of actually rooting for her and Ser Mathis Dyer.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay, but, like, is there a reason in particular?

[Alfredo]

Well, here's the thing.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yeah, explain it.

[Alfredo]

I've already tried to take another night's woman once.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh.

[Alfredo]

And that hasn't sat right with me.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay, sure. All right.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Well, I just.

[Alfredo]

Though I did entertain a moment of thrill when Lila yeeted that axe in which I saved her from a man unworthy of her, but I've stifled it.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You're respect is noble and admirable, but I will say that it's wise to try all the mushrooms of the forest so that you know which ones are poisonous.

[Chris]

Okay. I go to a knee and I kiss Lila's hand.

[Brian Murphy]

That was so quick.

[Chris]

I taste just a touch of her, fit of her hand, and I say.

[Alfredo]

If this be poison, this poison be sweet.

[Brian Murphy]

Let's also. We also have to get Faye out of here, too, I hope.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, goodness.

[Murph]

Yeah. Before you do that, Willy, roll me a constitution. SAF. 12.

[Brian Murphy]

All right, 12.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

It's not enough for a carnal. Release.

[I]

Your voice.

[Murph]

You're so confident when you start speaking, and then you go to a whisper. Just tiny little flecks of spittle spraying onto Lila's ungloved hand.

[Chris]

I whisper.

[Alfredo]

I'm feeling my heartbeat in places I don't normally.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Murph]

She pulls her hand back. Thank you. Thank you for your service.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Just narrowly.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Pastor Jizz Save.

[Brian Murphy]

Great. Yeah.

[Murph]

Sir. Sir. Welly, was it? I don't. I'm not sure I know everyone's name.

[Alfredo]

Oh, Sir Welly Hamdam of the Oaken Ore. I gesture to Zudrik.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, this is Buggy. Roger.

[Murph]

Thank you.

[Chris]

Awesome.

[Caldwell Tanner]

So kind.

[Chris]

Wait, I think I introduced Zudrick as Sir Welly.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, sorry. This is really confusing. You know what? You can just call us all Welly, okay?

[Caldwell Tanner]

We're Wellies fellies.

[Murph]

I'll call you all Sir Welly Fairy. Enough.

[Chris]

Yeah, we're Wellies fellies, Boggies, buds, or the zoo crew.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, you could call us any one of those things.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Whichever you prefer.

[Murph]

Yeah, Lila's inching away from you guys.

[Brian Murphy]

I agree. That's too complicated. They call us the zoo crew because of me. They call us Boggy's buds because of him. I owe it to Boggy.

[Chris]

And then Cornwelles Feliz is totally new. That just came right off the top of this beautiful dome.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, I'm feeling a little giddy after our recent victory.

[Brian Murphy]

So now that we're all not confused, let's try to figure out this situation. How do we make stop? I'm gonna walk over to the dragon and try to have him, I guess, not dipping into the water.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Tell him to stop.

[Murph]

Not be poisoned. Tell him to knock it off.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Can we remove the body? Or perhaps. I hate to even suggest it, especially in this cramped space, but burn it. Give it a funeral pyre of sorts.

[Alfredo]

Before we do that, take out the twig.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh.

[Alfredo]

This is from a wildness that precedes the gods. So we could just see.

[Brian Murphy]

We could just let them decide, I suppose.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes. I will see. From behind that barrel, 20 yards away.

[Chris]

I'm gonna go straight up into the dragon's face, and I guess I'm gonna take my hand that I usually lift a sword with and lift this twig instead, and then just kind of do my best impression of a sorcerer and lick my wrist.

[Murph]

Wow.

[Chris]

To try to cast a spell from the twig of mayhem, you need to say, spel release.

[Alfredo]

Snake release.

[Murph]

So, wellyou go from holding Lila's hand to standing up from the knee, striding towards this giant dragon body. Dipping into your pocket, you pull out this braided twig, still kind of thrumming with this magic, and it actually shakes more intensely as you get closer. You raise it over your head and you shout, snake release. As Lila winces, the ancient words spoken true. Roll me a a D119. With a 19, you arc this wand. You shout, snake release. Not really sure what to expect. And then, crackling from this wand, you cast the spell. Gust of wind, a line of strong wind 60ft long, 10ft wide, blasts from you in a direction that you choose for the spell's duration.

[Chris]

I think I go do it at the dragon. Then I'm like. And then I turn around, blasting it in everyone's direction.

[Murph]

So not sure how to control it. You start spinning around like a loose fire hose.

[Caldwell Tanner]

A snake made of wind.

[Brian Murphy]

Don't drop him in the water. It'll be even worse.

[Murph]

Zudrik and Boggy and Lila are all going to give strength saves or be pushed 15ft. I failed, so Lila saves with a 12. What did Boggy get?

[Caldwell Tanner]

13.

[Murph]

13.

[Emily Axford]

Oh, I actually also got a 13, but I do.

[Chris]

You guys do all get a beautiful blowout.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, yeah.

[Murph]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Hair looks incredible.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You got the twigs out of my beard. I was saving those.

[Murph]

The wind blows Zedrick's helm up again. You see? Just a flash of tattoos before he slams it shut.

[Brian Murphy]

Jesus. Would have been anti climactic if this is how it happened. I'm glad this is only the second time you're seeing me.

[Emily Axford]

I put my helmet back on.

[Murph]

Yeah.

[Brian Murphy]

Just flies fully off and thuds on the ground and I have to go pick it up, so.

[Murph]

Well, you kind of now understand why Sir Hilda Garnet may have left this behind. It's magic. But it's just unstable. Yeah, she never knew what spell it was going to cast. It's the Wand of Wonder. Every time you cast a spell, we'll roll a D100 and see what happens.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Amazing.

[Alfredo]

It's still ignited my imagination, though, to think that there is magic that preceded the gods.

[Brian Murphy]

Well, perhaps we can. Someone can study it and figure out a way to extract magic from it or something like that.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Or perhaps you could learn to control it.

[Alfredo]

Yeah, I think I. I don't want to give it to anyone else right now.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, okay. Okay. Just the way you said that. Kind of weird, but I go stand.

[Chris]

In the corner clutching my wand.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Murph]

Yeah, my. My mom. I'm just worried about.

[Brian Murphy]

Right.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes. Right, Right.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah. They didn't say anything about when we needed to bring you back. We're allowed to mess around in the were down here for a little while if we'd like. All right, Lila.

[Murph]

Okay. Lila, you know, I'm not rushing you.

[Brian Murphy]

Kind of being a bit much. Yeah.

[Murph]

No.

[Brian Murphy]

This is your brother. We weren't expecting him to be evil.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I don't know if we get like, a rating when we're done. Like, maybe just cool it a little bit, Zoody.

[Alfredo]

Oh, we don't know if we're getting raided.

[Murph]

Lila sits on a crumbled pillar.

[Alfredo]

Lila, before we begin heading up, there was a request from one of the monks who actually helped us find you. She's got a gorgeous smile and she wants to Another mushroom.

[Chris]

She wants to eat your brother.

[Murph]

She. Wait, what?

[Brian Murphy]

I, I don't know that she wanted to. I think she meant like she wanted to kill him so bad she could like devour him.

[Caldwell Tanner]

That might have been the lace talking.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah.

[Alfredo]

Oh.

[Brian Murphy]

But who knows? I mean, I personally don't care if she eats him. Do you?

[Murph]

I, I, I suppose at the end of the day, I mean, it's the same to me as leaving him here.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Is your father gonna wanna see this guy? They wanna bag him up for a funeral or something.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah. Should we bag him up?

[Murph]

Oh, wait.

[Chris]

If we're being raided and we show up without all of the bodies.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yeah. Put that in what I like to call a Boggy bag.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Murph]

We could.

[Brian Murphy]

That was good. Sorry, Sorry. Lila, could we take a moment to app Boggy's joke?

[Murph]

Yeah, I just, I just thought it was good.

[Chris]

I think the joke is really good for the rating.

[Murph]

Sorry, I thought it was really funny.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, well, whereas like a doggy bag would be. This is a boggy bag. His name's Boggy. You don't know his name's Boggy. But that's why we were called Boggy's Blood.

[Chris]

Boggy Spuds, Boggy Layers.

[Alfredo]

There is to that because I thought it was a play on body bag.

[Brian Murphy]

That is so funny. Thank you.

[Murph]

That's also where I was.

[Brian Murphy]

These guys should do stand up.

[Chris]

That was, I mean, honestly, a two pronged pun.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, we have many a talent show in the bog.

[Brian Murphy]

I'm the.

[Alfredo]

And if it is true, it's just because you're really attractive and attractive people.

[Chris]

Don'T have to try.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, okay. Well, you know what? Let's go ahead and put your brother in a Boggy bag. I stifle a laugh.

[Murph]

Lila forces a polite laugh for you guys. Yes, very good.

[Brian Murphy]

It works on so many levels. And then I'll be more respectful to Sir Holden and kind of just carry her out the regular way, not in a bag.

[Murph]

Yeah, got it. Just like fireman style. Over your shoulder.

[Brian Murphy]

Just over a shoulder.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, there's also a boar loose upstairs. I don't know.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, yes, the boar. Not just any boar. This is a boar prince now. I believe they've got the run of the place.

[Brian Murphy]

He might be the king.

[Chris]

Yeah, he might be.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Let's face it, things move quickly in the animal world.

[Chris]

He Is.

[Alfredo]

I think he is.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah. Boar's Head indeed.

[Caldwell Tanner]

That was pretty good.

[Brian Murphy]

Thanks. Yeah, I thought it was all right, like head of the castle, but, you know, might have to turn them into Hammer.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You're too hot on yourself, friend.

[Chris]

How do you get away with being hot and funny?

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah.

[Alfredo]

You know, how do you do it?

[Brian Murphy]

I just swear that's why I wear the helmet. I mean, it's not why I wear the helmet, but, you know.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Right. We don't know if the Daft Pump guys are hot. We just know that they're cool robots.

[Brian Murphy]

That make new stuff. We don't know. We can only assume they are. All right. Lila.

[Murph]

Yeah.

[Brian Murphy]

You're babbling. Let's get going.

[Murph]

Sorry. Right. Yeah. Let's get going. I didn't mean to hold anyone up.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I will take a shaving of this blackened scale.

[Murph]

I. Oh, okay.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I hate to say it, but I do feel like I must contact Lady Linnebeth and her new lover, the scholar, Sir Ransford Swank.

[Alfredo]

Ransford Swank.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes.

[Brian Murphy]

Such an evil name really is as.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Despicable as he is.

[Murph]

Swank.

[Caldwell Tanner]

He does have connections within the Scholars Guild. And I think that if we are to put an end to this Black Lace, perhaps their insidious love could lead to some sort of breakthrough.

[Alfredo]

May I ask? Many scholars specialize. What does Sir Ransford Swank specialize in?

[Caldwell Tanner]

He's more of like a permanent grad student. He just kind of dilly dallys, but he jumps around. But, you know, he's got a lot of teams and a lot of money to place into various research pools and think tanks.

[Alfredo]

Where are they? Lady Linnebeth and her lover.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Why, they're in Goodport, which was neighboring to the Boglands, where I hailed from before.

[Alfredo]

Interesting.

[Brian Murphy]

All right, well, let's get up to the Boar Prince, AKA the Boar King.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, also to Faye. Let's stop with. Let's stop at Fae.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, indeed. Yeah, but let's. As we walk, let's think about what we're going to want for our feast.

[Alfredo]

You know, what we could do with Fae, because she's fighting off the Black Lace. We could drop her off with Darwin Wednesday. And then if we find any sort of cure for Black Lace.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, and we can also see, you know, I mean, she might just kill Darwin Wednesday, but I don't know, Darwin Wednesday. That's.

[Alfredo]

But Darwin might readily take on that risk.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, we'll bring it up to Darwin.

[Alfredo]

They could have like a demon Slayer thing going on.

[Murph]

The monk that you speak of. Faye.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Murph]

She had short hair and a chip on her tooth.

[Alfredo]

Yes. Yeah, she was. She kind to you?

[Murph]

She argued for me. She. She tried to stop them. When. When. When they chained me up. I want to show my gratitude as well. And I'm not rushing you guys. We can leave whenever you want.

[Alfredo]

Okay, well, we're gonna need you to stop babbling if we are gonna.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, of course we're gonna need. We're gonna leave just like really quick. Like we're leaving right now. Except we do need to pick up the caltrops. I'm so sorry, but we do need to pick up the caltrops.

[Brian Murphy]

What is that, 10 minutes?

[Caldwell Tanner]

10 minutes minimum.

[Murph]

Honestly, what is the calif. We all work together.

[Chris]

What is the caltrop drop save? Cuz as I try to pick them up, I might accidentally step on DC15.

[Murph]

It was DC15.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You should be fine. The zombies were able to get over it.

[Chris]

Okay, I got it. I got it.

[Murph]

Sixteen. Okay. All right. So you guys.

[Chris]

I failed that one.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Murph]

Oh, yeah. There are a lot of caltrops you have to do.

[Chris]

It's every five, right?

[Murph]

A save for every cow drop for everyone you pick up since fell over that time.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Chris]

Fell over again since.

[Brian Murphy]

Well, since while he keeps falling. Let's just be really careful and take 20 minutes to pick him up.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I think that's smart. Yeah, I think that's really wise.

[Murph]

Lila takes a nap on the edge of the cistern.

[Caldwell Tanner]

God.

[Chris]

Hot.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Smart, funny. You're the total package. All wrapped up in some armor.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, come on now. All right, all right. We got the gal drops. Been a solid. Been a solid 20. Let's get going up to Faye.

[Murph]

All right, so you guys have packed up the bodies, packed up the caltrops, Lila is woken from her nap. And you remember these spill pipes are impossible to ascend. You won't be able to go back up that way because they're too narrow and slick.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh. Oh.

[Murph]

The earthen pass, the main corridor has been caved in. It's the earthen passage that remains.

[Brian Murphy]

All right.

[Caldwell Tanner]

There was, like, secretions, like, rubbed on the wall here.

[Alfredo]

Oh, there was some sort of beast.

[Brian Murphy]

Well, like, I suppose we'll find out. We really have no other way of.

[Alfredo]

Do you want me to use my twig again? Just shoot it wildly down this hall.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, sure.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Knock yourself out, Jake.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Can we say that we took a short rest, by the way?

[I]

Yeah, I mean, you guys definitely have.

[Chris]

I have a question. Did the. Does the twig's charges recharge at daw, or is it a one Time thing.

[Murph]

It has three charges total and they recharge at dawn. But as you get further from this wild magic of the dragon body, it's going to lose its charges until you're around some other magic source sometime in the future, you'll almost be able to use it as like a magic detector, a magic beacon.

[Alfredo]

Okay. I'm aware that this proximity to power is making me a monster.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah.

[Alfredo]

But I'm going to use it again.

[Chris]

And I'm going to just flick my wrist down the tunnel and shout, snake release. Again. 68.

[Murph]

All right, so you guys pick your way across rubble in this cavern, casting your torches into dead ends. Shallow cavities that house only jagged bits of stone. Until finally, you cast your light into a passage that doesn't bounce it back. This is the last exit. And Welly, as you find this final exit, you approach it, wand in hand, shaking with a magic charge, and you shout, snake release. Into the darkness. And looking ahead, you don't see anything happen. But suddenly the passage seems to get larger and larger and larger. And everyone else, as you're watching, you see Welly get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, Welly. What?

[Murph]

What's going on?

[Jake Hurwitz]

Have I been physically humbled?

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah.

[Murph]

Oh no.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh no. What happened to William Schittz is even smaller.

[Alfredo]

I reached.

[Murph]

It's in my pocket. An enormous bullfrog seeming creature.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Wait, William Schittz.

[Murph]

I can ride you.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay, so that's fun. All right. That's a silver lining.

[Brian Murphy]

That's just good clean fun.

[Murph]

That's just good clean fun. You hop on William Schittz and you guys hop down this cavern. As you guys get further and further from the dragon corpse, the magic fades. Willy and you begin to grow. And as you reach your full size again, a warm wind brushes your cheek, carrying the scent of something harsh. Zudrick and Boggy, you guys are at the cave opening. You pause, one final look back. The monks lie broken across the stone. Two hanging limp from chains above the cistern. Whatever was left of Bulruk has been swallowed by the pool along with his iron chalice. You stare into the hollow eyes of the great dragon Cicada and the fallen body of Serhilda Garnet. The cave continues to drip into the pool.

[I]

Drip, drip.

[Murph]

Then a deep creak. A groan from the deep. The ink colored water trembles as dust begins to fall in loose sheets from the vault vaulted ceiling above. The ritual. The battle. The remnants of all this wild magic has taken its toll. The foundation of the place is cracking. The dawn hold won't hold for much longer. There is a ticking clock as you guys make your way into the cave.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I suggest we pick up no more caltrops and make haste.

[Alfredo]

Okay, let's make haste.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, let's run out and we'll try to grab Fae real quick.

[Alfredo]

Yeah?

[Chris]

Okay.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Quickly, quickly.

[Alfredo]

I'll just start shouting for her. Faye.

[Murph]

So you guys are scrambling over slick rocks, squeezing your way under a low craggy roof, twisting through the tunnel. Loose gravel crunches underfoot and then so does something else. You look down and you find scattered across the passage are mangled bones and fragments of cracked carapaces, some as long as your forearm. Lila shudders.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh.

[Murph]

You keep on climbing steadily, rounding a bend, and you find yourselves in a lofty, ragged cavern. Cavern stalactites and stalagmites encroach on you from every direction like the jaw of a great beast closing around you. And here an unsettling feeling comes over you, creeping at the edge of your awareness. You're not alone in here. The uneven ceiling is high overhead. You look up as a faint cuts through the air. Squinting into the darkness, you sidestep an oblong blob just as it grazes past, smacking into the cave floor with a wet thud. Then another. Whatever it is, it's writhing at your feet. A thick, pudgy little thing like an overripe fruit. Its skin is thin, almost translucent, its single eye trained on you as its rasping maw opens and closes weakly, revealing a set of razor sharp teeth. This one missed. But above you, something moves. A tendril crackles through the cavern. A towering stalagmite shakes and then turns, opening a gaping mouth like a portal to hell. Everyone roll initiative boogie.

[Alfredo]

Okay. 15 for Welly.

[Murph]

All right.

[Emily Axford]

18.

[Caldwell Tanner]

21 for Boggy.

[Murph]

Boggy, you're first with a 21.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I think I will do a roll backwards and grunt loudly as I do it. And then, while I'm taking a knee, I will aim an arrow at this wiggling stalactite.

[Murph]

Okay? Sweet. Fire away.

[Caldwell Tanner]

All right. Arrow release. That is a 22 to hit.

[Murph]

22 hits 14 damage. All right. At initiative. 20 that is. These pudgy little things falling from the ceiling. I'm going to roll to see who they target with a two. That is Welly. Welly. This oblong mucus covered slug like thing with teeth hurtles out of the darkness. Give me a dexterity saving throw to try to avoid it.

[Alfredo]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

Gross.

[Murph]

Nasty.

[Chris]

12.

[Murph]

12. You sidestep it and this thing splats on a rock in a Spray of guts and teeth. That is Zudrik's turn.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay. Zudrick shrugs. We don't need to kill this thing. Looks around at, like, the boulders falling down. I think the cave will do that for us.

[Alfredo]

Endurance it is.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay, I guess I'm just going to all kind of of hold my turn and wait for other people to go, but I think I'm gonna shout, let's run past this thing. Let's get the fuck out of here.

[Alfredo]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

And you know what? I will send my birds ahead. Tabitha, Salem, Sabrina, Edgar. Warn Fay that we're on our way and have her beat us down the tunnel.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Very smart.

[Alfredo]

That's great.

[Nate]

Yes, thank you, Salem.

[Murph]

Lila ducks and covers her head as they storm past her and up through the cavern.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I would have loved to have claimed one of these tentacles. It would have been nice to have a big sticky arm. I could launch at things.

[Brian Murphy]

Well, maybe you'll have the chance.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes, a trophy.

[Murph]

So Zudrik's gonna hold his turn to do a mad dash. Welly, that's your turn.

[Alfredo]

Okay. I'm gonna turn to Lila and say, I totally respect your relationship with Sir Mathis, but may I?

[Chris]

And then I'm gonna gesture to, like, carry her.

[Murph]

Wow. She doesn't hesitate. She leaps into your arms, arms around your neck, legs draped over your other arm.

[Chris]

And then I'm gonna run. I'm gonna get. How far can I get if I take a dash action?

[Murph]

It will get you out of reach if you can get past it.

[Chris]

Yeah. So I'm gonna try to do that. And I want to try to angle it so that if this thing, when this thing attacks us, that the opportunity attack comes at me and not at Lilah.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Nice.

[Murph]

Okay. Welly, as you bound across the cavern floor, it reaches out, sending a tendril with 25 to hit.

[Chris]

Okay, I am going to say, activate lodestar rune, and I'm going to redirect that attack to one of the sealing creatures.

[Brian Murphy]

Nice.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, there you go.

[Murph]

Fucking great. Okay.

[Caldwell Tanner]

She's saving her embrace for another friend.

[Murph]

This tendril whips at you. It's whipping straight towards Lila's face, but you bob and duck and direct this tendril up to the ceiling where it just. Just pops one of these little larva mucus things like a pimple, and you make your way to the cave opening.

[Chris]

Okay. I turn back and I shout, everyone, come here.

[Brian Murphy]

All right.

[I]

Okay.

[Murph]

Willy's 60ft. She's out of reach.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Wow. She did a Tom Cruise run. High knees.

[Chris]

And then does that use its reaction like its opportunity attack? Could Other people run past it now until its initiative.

[Brian Murphy]

Unless it has a special ability that gives it extra reactions. That is how that would work.

[Murph]

It does not have any special abilities. So its reaction has been used.

[Alfredo]

So, yeah, Zudrik, maybe now's the time.

[Brian Murphy]

I will run. I'll do my dash, and I will run across the room and get through the tunnel.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Well, dash.

[Murph]

Holy shit. So as this thing is distracted by hitting off one of its little babies from the ceiling, Zudrik sprints across the. That is its turn. Zudrik and Welly are out of reach. Boggy, you are the only one left in this cave. So it's gonna reach out and try to grab you. That is a 15 to hit.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Mrs. Yay.

[Murph]

Fuck.

[Brian Murphy]

But it will have. Now it has its reaction back.

[Chris]

Yeah, it does have its reaction back.

[Murph]

All right, great. So it's got its reaction back. And now that is Baki's turn.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Very good. I see my friends running ahead. I am going to follow in pursuit. I say take flight. Wellies, fellies. And I run very.

[Jake Hurwitz]

I do kind of like a waddly run after them.

[Caldwell Tanner]

And just to show off a little bit, I kick one of the gooey things as I'm going.

[Murph]

You kick a piece of goo like a soccer ball.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Fuck you.

[Murph]

It's going to make an opportunity attack. This giant tendril shoots out to try to grab you, but it only gets a 10 to hit.

[Brian Murphy]

Nice.

[Murph]

So you guys have all evaded the Roper monster, which was insanely tough, really, but you got past it.

[Jake Hurwitz]

I'll say. I took a dash action so that.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I'm right up where they are as well.

[Murph]

Okay.

[I]

Hey there, NatPols. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. With prices going up on just about everything lately, being smart with your money is not just a good idea, it's essential. But managing subscriptions, tracking spending, and cutting costs can feel overwhelming. That's where Rocket Money comes in. They take out the guesswork so you can easily make smart decisions. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills. Also, you can grow your savings. You can see all your subscriptions in one place. You know exactly where your money is going. And for the ones you don't want anymore, Rocket Money can even help you cancel that them. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you, and they automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save so you can ask them to negotiate for you. They will deal with customer service and you do not have to. Gorgeous. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved them a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com PawPaw Today, that is RocketMoney.com PawPaw RocketMoney.com PawPaw.

[Emily Axford]

This episode of NADpod is brought to you by NordVPN. I travel a lot for work. I always use it, especially when I'm on public wi fi. The NordVPN threat protection feature protects you from viruses, malicious malware and phishing sites. Premium cybersecurity for the price of a cup of coffee per month, one NordVPN account can be used on up to 10 devices. Protect your private data like passwords and online identity. NordVPN can switch your virtual location, allowing you to save money by purchasing flights, hotels and subscriptions from other countries at a cheaper price. I use NORDVPN a lot for sports. Cable only runs the local teams, and then apps sometimes have local blackouts. So I'm either blocked from watching LA teams or they're all I can watch. With NordVPN, I don't have to worry about that. I just switch up my location. You can watch sporting events, TV shows or films that aren't available in your region by switching your virtual location to a country that's showing the event. To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com nadpod Our link will also give you four extra months on the two year plan. There's no risk with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. That's nordvpn.com naddpod the link is in the episode description.

[Murph]

Awesome. So you guys have all evaded this cave beast. As the cave continues to rumble and shake, you're feeling your way across these streaked and uneven walls until you see the pulsing torchlight ahead. This is the open elevator shaft. If you remember, the earthen passage ran alongside the dungeon floor. Back, we all began retracing your steps. You find yourselves back in that lower corridor prison to the infected Maastricht atrocities snarfing testily behind the rusted iron bars. But you know where you're going. You crawl across the sprung guillotine, sidestep the corpse of the monk alchemist in the laboratory.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Ah, memories.

[Murph]

And there once again is the open door to the barracks.

[Chris]

I haven't put Lila down Yet.

[Murph]

Ooh.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Now I get to carry someone. Faye.

[Brian Murphy]

I call to the birds.

[Murph]

The birds emerge from that room, flapping almost somberly. They. They start bouncing along the corridor floor and Welly. Lila taps you on the shoulder and says, you can.

[Alfredo]

Sorry. I'm. I'm really trying.

[Murph]

Put me down if you want.

[Chris]

I have feelings for you. What?

[Murph]

What?

[Chris]

Sorry. What?

[Murph]

What?

[Chris]

I put her down and blush.

[Murph]

She. She looks at you for a long time after you put her down.

[Chris]

Whoa.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay, this is really cute and all, but the crows are pretty somber, which is bad.

[Chris]

Oh, no. I guess.

[Brian Murphy]

Let's run in real quick. What's happening?

[Murph]

Okay, you guys run in. You don't hear any sound, but you see the same sights. Dilapidated trunks, sunken beds. Ahead, you see Faye's small frame resting on her mattress, lying still.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Feyd, it's time to go. Rise and shine.

[Murph]

As you say that. A breath shallow, faint, but alive. Salsoa. Salnu. While I breathe, I hope you remember the words carved on the castle. Faye is too weak to speak, but as you approach, she raises her arms. Like Lila. She'll need to be carried.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Not today, Ender. Not today. Hope.

[Brian Murphy]

Hope. All right.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You've got Holden.

[Brian Murphy]

Yep.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You've got.

[Alfredo]

Oh, no. Lila actually can walk.

[Chris]

That was just sort of a momentary. I'll take the hit for both of them.

[Brian Murphy]

It wasn't her turn yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. Yeah. Action, economy and whatnot.

[Murph]

Lila takes, like, half a step forward towards you, but then sees what's going on, stops herself, and she backs into Boggy's arms as Faye gets into Welly's.

[Alfredo]

Yeah, I think I'll very gently roll her into my arms, and I'll whisper, sell SOA Sal new to her, and let's go.

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah, let's get out of here.

[Alfredo]

Let's go.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay.

[Murph]

All right. You guys each have a body. Holden, Faye, and Lila. Another sonorous creak rolls through the chamber. The walls begin to groan. In the center of the room, a pillar splits with a thunderous crack. The ceiling behind it tumbles down, and a spray of rocks explode from the wall. Everybody give me Dex saves to avoid being pelted.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, boy.

[Chris]

Also, just so you guys know, you guys get a plus one to your saving throws because of the Opal Sun Sword. Sick.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Sick.

[Brian Murphy]

I just got an 11.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

I look at the Opal sun sword. Wow. Magic really is real. As a rock hits me directly in the face.

[Chris]

I got an 18.

[Brian Murphy]

Great.

[Caldwell Tanner]

21.

[Murph]

Cool. You guys raise your forearms, bracing against the shower of stones. Zudrik, as you look into the opal. Sunsword Mesmerize for a second. A single rock pierces you right between the eyes for three damage.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Should we have a race, friends? Ah, Boggy, back rides. Let's go.

[Brian Murphy]

I feel like I'm sort of carrying a knight. She's pretty strong. Yeah, it's kind of unfair.

[Murph]

Cedric, you resettle Sir Holden on your shoulder.

[Caldwell Tanner]

You hang on tight, Lila. We're winning.

[Alfredo]

And Faye is unsettlingly light.

[Murph]

So here you are in the shaking chamber. You've rescued the girl you came for. And another you didn't expect. But the ender is beckoning for the dawn. Hold now. A thunderous crash from down the hall. A plume of stone dust surges past the door. It's time to go. And here's how this is going to work. This is a skill challenge. You guys need to amass nine successes before six failures. If you can do that, you will be able to escape before the castle crumbles. And rather than roll for initiative, you can choose what order you act in. You can use any skill as long as you describe how and why you can't repeat skills and you can't double them up in a given round. The DC for every check is going to be 13.

[Brian Murphy]

You know what? I'll kick it off, keep it super simple. I've got a plus six to athletics. I'm just going to run ahead and just kick through some boulders, shoulder essentially a path and just ram through walls ahead.

[Murph]

Hell, yeah. All right, so as you thunder forward, the floor is splitting below you. Zudrik, you watch as entire bunks crash into the ground and disappear into blackness below. The first thing you're trying to do is shoulder your way through all of these obstacles. Give me an athletics check. Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

17.

[Murph]

Woo. Amazing. All right, that is one success.

[Alfredo]

Okay, so then after Zudrik does that, I'm gonna shout to throw me a rope. And then I want a sleight of hand to make a little zip line for everyone to cross this chasm.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Nice.

[Murph]

Awesome.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay.

[Murph]

Okay, so, Zudrik, you bound across. You Chuck Welly a rope. And Welly, having studied knots with Boggy, you whip your hands around dexterous and you get.

[Chris]

Ooh, that's a 21.

[Murph]

Hell, yeah. That's two successes.

[Caldwell Tanner]

The kissing nuns. Beautiful knot.

[Murph]

Okay, Boggy, that leaves you.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Boggy is really good at running away. He's done it a lot of times. So I think Boggy is going to use perception to try and find the.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Best route through this passageway.

[Jake Hurwitz]

He's gonna, like, eyeball where all the threats are and look for the safest route through.

[Murph]

Okay, sick. So, Zudrik, you shoulder your way across, throw a rope to Welly. Welly, you tie on, and you bring you and Faye across. And Boggy, the path is getting narrower and narrower, but you're going to use perception to try to see if you can weave yourself through.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I'll use my coward sight to find the safest path.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Let me roll that perception. I roll that with advantage because of my rod.

[Murph]

All right.

[Brian Murphy]

Nice rod.

[Alfredo]

Nice rod.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Dirty 20.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Consensual 20.

[Murph]

Another success. You guys are three for three as you duck into the corridor just as the barracks crash below you in a roar of splintered stone. Here in this hall, you see thick roots slithering along the floor like constrictor snakes. The tree above the catacombs is reclaiming the catacombs castle, choking it in a final embrace. The roots aren't malicious, but they don't care about you either. How are you getting through this next passage?

[Brian Murphy]

Okay. Okay. I will go ahead and use animal handling to send the crows ahead to peck at the roots and hope that we can kind of jostle ourselves through.

[Murph]

That's great. Okay. The crows flap forward, pecking at the roots, and the roots kind of seize up and draw back, clearing a path. Let's see that animal handling. Check.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Beaks are sharp.

[Brian Murphy]

Plus three.

[Emily Axford]

Nat 20.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Yes.

[Murph]

Fuck, yeah. All right. Four successes. Incredible. You guys are five from glory. All right. That is Welly.

[Alfredo]

Okay. Are the roots still a threat?

[Murph]

Yeah, they drew back to create a path for Zudrik, but they are still kind of going through the stone and tearing it up.

[Alfredo]

Then I'm gonna hold up my twig and say, careful, little guys, or you'll turn into this.

[Chris]

To the roots. And I want to do an intimidation. That is a 19.

[Murph]

Amazing, these roots slithering past as you raise up the braided twig and say that they almost. They almost pause for a second to try to understand what's going on.

[Brian Murphy]

Give.

[Murph]

Giving you just enough space to dart through the corridor as they continue.

[Caldwell Tanner]

After she does that, Boggy takes off his cloaks and his boots, bundles them up, hurls them across the room. And then as he takes all this off, you see that he's just wearing kind of like a big, long piece of spandex, and he's going to try to. Simone Biles, just do several backflips.

[Brian Murphy]

Whoa.

[Caldwell Tanner]

This is going to be an acrobatic.

[Murph]

So you run through this passage, kicking off the roots and basically Misty flipping through the air while holding Lila, who is screaming.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Why didn't you just run forward holding Lila?

[Caldwell Tanner]

It's like a trapeze.

[Jake Hurwitz]

But we're on the ground.

[Murph]

Everyone else just walked.

[Jake Hurwitz]

That's going to be a 16.

[Murph]

A 16. Another success. You guys have gotten six successes here. Okay? You're past the roots, and as you're pushing one another forward, a split in the wall sends a jet of freezing groundwater into the hall, hammering you like a battering ram. The corridor lurches and you're shoved sideways in chest deep water. The doorway ahead falls, leaving just a small gap still open. The water is rushing in. Zudderick, you're first.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay. Welp, I'm running out of things that I'm good at, so I'll have to just do things that I'm okay at. I carefully examine the and try to use insight to figure out a way out. You see me stroking my chin as.

[Emily Axford]

I start to drown.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Where did you get that magnifying glass?

[Murph]

Water coming up to your helm.

[Brian Murphy]

Indubitably.

[Jake Hurwitz]

He does have a pipe.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Murph]

As the water rises, you ice in your veins. Stroke your helm and try to get some insight.

[Brian Murphy]

What is the ability that you use a short rest for to do a D10?

[Jake Hurwitz]

Tactical mind.

[Murph]

Tactical mind.

[Chris]

Tactical mind.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay. I'm gonna use tactical mind because right now I have a 12. So with tactical mind, I only get a one, but that meets the D13.

[Murph]

It is 13.

[Brian Murphy]

I use all of my brain power.

[Emily Axford]

To think of something that's not just like, shouldering my way through this problem.

[Alfredo]

Cedric, it's not the moment.

[Brian Murphy]

Hold on. My dear Willy, this is a perplexing situation indeed.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Well said, Zerlok.

[Murph]

As you think, try to get any insight on the stone. A jet of water actually propels you through the gap and you make it through. That is Welly's turn.

[Alfredo]

Okay.

[Chris]

I actually want to use my ring.

[Murph]

Oh, the ring of swimming.

[Chris]

Just for fun.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So I'm gonna run up the wall and then dive into this water and try to swim.

[Alfredo]

Now, I could do athletics, but just.

[Chris]

For fun, I wanna do performance. I wanna do like a beautiful corkscrew dive.

[Murph]

Amazing.

[Chris]

I think I wanna go for butterfly. Even though there is a temptation to go, I got a 10.

[Alfredo]

I'm going to tactical mind.

[Murph]

Oh, my goodness. Welly jumps, kicks up off the wall. You swan dive into the water.

[Alfredo]

I got a 10. On my tactical mind.

[Chris]

That becomes a dirty 20.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, salacious.

[Chris]

Okay, so I think I start with the butterfly, but I'm like, I gotta be true to who I am. And then I breaststroke.

[Murph]

You start doing the Butterfly, but the force of the current is pushing you back. And you say, you know what? I have to do my strongest stroke. And you breaststroke through the gap, bringing Faye to relative safety. And that is just Baggy and Lila left. You have eight successes. You just need one more to get yourselves past this.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I look at this water piling up. I can feel the chill emanating off off of it. And I turn to Lila, I pull out my bottle of whiskey, offer us each a swig, and say, sometimes the best way through is in. It's time for the annual Polar Bear plunge. We love this. Great.

[Murph]

So you take a swill of whiskey, you pass it to Lila. She downs a gulp, and then you brace yourself and jump into the cold plunge. Give me a survival check.

[Jake Hurwitz]

All right, that's going to be an 11, but I'm going to use a tactical mind two on my tactical mind dice, which is 13. Exactly.

[Murph]

Wow.

[Chris]

We all had to use our tactical mind this round because we're getting fatigued.

[Murph]

Yes.

[Brian Murphy]

Dead or bad stuff.

[Murph]

Yes, you are.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Please don't look. My nipples are showing through my spandex. Do not look.

[Alfredo]

I've never known you to be shy.

[Caldwell Tanner]

They're just oddly shaped. They look like acorns.

[Murph]

Wow.

[Chris]

Now I'm really curious, but I actually really respect modesty, so I don't even look boggy.

[Murph]

After that reveal, you jump into this cold plunge, and you're sucked through the gap and spit out into the hall. The water cascades down. The fissures below, you emerge, all of you coughing, soaked to the bone, staggering across this churning earth. You've amassed nine successes and zero failures.

[Chris]

Hey, that's that fighter tactical line.

[Murph]

You've passed the skill challenge, but chaos is still unfolding around you. It's just a wall of noise. Your vision is blurred by cascading debris, tremors in the earth that rattle your teeth. But you look up and you see the night sky. You realize enough of the castle has fallen away now to give you a path out. The way is up. Everybody give me athletic checks to get yourselves out of of this castle.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay, here we go.

[Chris]

Oh, yes. 22, 23.

[Jake Hurwitz]

10. Let me do one more tactical mind. I've got one left.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Oh, that's a 12.

[Murph]

Welly and Zudrick, in all of this chaos, you guys are pulling on tree roots, you're pulling on rock. You're flying up this cavern wall as the stone rips at your hands. You guys are making your way to the top. And you see Baggy begin to fall behind. He cannot keep up with the earth, tumbling away. Boggy, give me a strength save to avoid falling down.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Okay, add one to this. That's an eight. No, no, no, no.

[Murph]

Okay, wait.

[Alfredo]

Where.

[Chris]

Where's Lila and Boggy?

[Murph]

Welly, Zudrik, with these bodies draped around your neck, you climb and climb, your fingers finally digging into the grass. Cool. And re. You pull yourselves up, lurching forward on hands and knees, the ground still shaking underfoot. The roots of this massive tree plunging and twisting into the earth, churning it and closing the path below you. You turn towards each other, locking eyes. You two survived, but you look around. Where is Lila? And where is Boggy? Roger.

[Alfredo]

Boggy. Boggy. Boggy. How far up did we climb?

[Murph]

You climbed about 25ft up.

[Alfredo]

Okay, I'm going to.

[Chris]

Based on where we climbed up from.

[Alfredo]

I'm gonna assume he fell from there. And I'm gonna drop the Opal Sun Sword down because there's a misty step on there.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, my God.

[Murph]

Wow.

[Brian Murphy]

That's so fucking smart.

[Chris]

Wow. I'm gonna drop it down and say, boggy, catch. And really hope that it goes, that it falls hilt first.

[Murph]

Amazing.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Catch.

[Brian Murphy]

What?

[Murph]

Oh, okay, so, first of all, Baggy, as you tumble down, you take seven damage, and so does Lila. She is on death's door.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay, so if Welly's move is to throw the swords down to Boggy, I think I'm going to look at Sir Holden's body and say, sir Holden, I know you would have wanted this. And I let go of Ser Holden.

[Emily Axford]

And let Sir Holden fall into the darkness as the castle is crumbling, to reach my lance down to try to grab Lila as she's falling with Boggy.

[Murph]

Oh, amazing.

[Emily Axford]

Because the Misty Step's only going to be able to grab one of them, so I'm going to try to essentially. Maybe I can even do, like. Essentially, like, a launch attack to try to, like, lance through, like, a part of her armor or something to, like, catch her on it.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Murph]

Zudrick, you look into the helm of Sir Holden, knowing that she would yet again sacrifice her life, her remains, for Lila's life. Welly, you drop the Opal Sun Sword into the darkness, hoping against hope that Baggy is down there to catch it.

[Alfredo]

Salsoa, Sal, New right Faye and Boggy.

[Murph]

You tumble headlong through this cavern, hitting the ground hard as loose stones and curtains of dirt continue to rain all around you.

[I]

You're bruised, broken.

[Murph]

You see La Lila's crumpled body laying next to you as the roots close in above the last light of the stars. Just about to be Erased. And then hurtling out of the darkness, a glimmer of hope. The opal sun sword glints, wheels and plummets past the vines and stabs into the earth.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I think Boggy for a moment, gives into despair and says, back in the muck again, Rogers, maybe this is just where you belong. And as he says that, this sword lands dangerously close to his toes, I look up at Zudrik and Welly peering out over the ledge. I see the Indus tree outlined against the stars, and I grin and say, but what's a little more muck to a man of the bog? I'm coming, lads. And I'm gonna grab the sword and.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Try and Misty step.

[Murph]

Okay, so you rush forward, grabbing the sword out of the earth. You have Lila on your shoulder, and as you run towards the wall, Boggy, you give her a shoulder up. You give her a shoulder to stand on, and sudden you can make an attack with your lance that's not actually going to hit her, but just kind of connect.

[Brian Murphy]

Connect to her armor. All right, I'll try to scoop her up. She'll holden. I'll take it from here.

[Chris]

Unless you get a nat one. Seems like it would hit that nat 20.

[Alfredo]

Yes.

[Brian Murphy]

Damn, I'm going good today.

[Murph]

Hell yes.

[Alfredo]

Dudrick.

[Chris]

You've been feeling yourself ever since we.

[Alfredo]

Found out that you look like Hayden Christensen.

[Brian Murphy]

Stop.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Wow. Funny. Hot. Reliable. What does this guy not have?

[Murph]

So baggy. Just like earlier in your adventure, you find yourself at the bottom of a pit, but above you, Zudrick and Welly haven't given you up for dead. They've hurled a legendary sword after you and Crit on an attack to help rescue Lila. And with their help, Lila grips onto Zudrik's lance, is pulled to safety and boggy. You grip the opal sun sword, close your eyes, and with a flash of light, you find yourself laying on your back on the grass next to your companions, all of you, chests heaving, staring up through the twisting branches of of the towering oak tree. Above you, the stars glitter clear and cold. There's a fresh dew on the night grass, a crispness in the air. And all around you, the forest hums with a familiar rhythmic buzz. Cicadas.

[Alfredo]

I've been waiting to see the stars since everything we found out.

[Brian Murphy]

I just collapse back and just covered in crows and just lie there, heaving.

[Alfredo]

Is anyone else getting a second wind from seeing the. The stars, now that we know that they contain more than we realize? Fei, wake up. Wake up. Look at the stars.

[Caldwell Tanner]

I do like to see the stars winking at me in this kiss. It's good to have friends.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Murph]

You say this to Faye, and you see her head just kind of loll over and her eyes rolling in the back of her head. Short, shallow breaths. She. She's fading before you guys.

[Alfredo]

Okay. Okay. Keep it together. We're gonna get you to safety, and then we're gonna figure out a cure for you, okay?

[Brian Murphy]

Yeah. We'll get you to Darwin Wednesday, and we'll take it from there.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Keep breathing. Can we give her a potion or something?

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Will that help?

[Murph]

Yeah, you guys can give her, like, a potion or do a medicine check. Just try to stabilize her and give her more time.

[Chris]

Oh, I'd love to do a medicine check.

[Brian Murphy]

Okay.

[Chris]

I mean, I don't even have good medicine. I just have a plus one, but I just want to. Yeah, I think I. I'll layer down and sort of, like, you know, fix her hair and get her all looking like herself and not like what the Black Lace wants to turn her into.

[Murph]

Yes.

[Chris]

And I want to sort of lay my hands on her, and I think instead, I want to picture. I'm, like, so fascinated by the power beyond the gods, the wild power beyond the gods. So instead of thinking of the gods, I'm gonna. I'm gonna think of the stars and what made them gods to begin with.

[Murph]

Okay.

[Chris]

18.

[Murph]

18.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Murph]

With an 18. You hold Faye's head, which is disturbingly light. Her frame is so small right now, but you lay her gently in the grass. And Faye has been deep below this keep for a long time. The cool night air brushing against her cheek. Your hand just gently fluffing her hair, making her feel at ease. She looks a little less tormented and a little more restful, and like she's just breathing a bit easier. She's putting her trust in you. She can't do this herself, but she knows that you can do it for her. And as you make this check, the wind blows through the leaves on the tree, and you see a constellation above Glimmer with a sign of hope.

[Alfredo]

What's the constellation? Do I know it?

[Murph]

You guys give me nature checks.

[Jake Hurwitz]

10, 18, 15.

[Alfredo]

Does anyone know that constellation with an 18?

[Murph]

Zudrik. Out in the faraway fjords, where the stars shine brighter than anywhere else in the realm. You know the names of all these constellations? Because sometimes you need to be guided home from a hunt. Or when you've spent years in one fruitless war and you have to make your way to another.

[Brian Murphy]

Right? Yeah.

[Murph]

This constellation is called the Voyager, akin to the North Star.

[Brian Murphy]

This is the Voyager it shows us the way north.

[Alfredo]

Like the Lodestar.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Perhaps the star that the Lodestar himself followed.

[Alfredo]

Yeah.

[Murph]

And as you guys look at this constellation welly on your braided twig, you see a glimmer that matches it. And then the three of you remember the map that you made a copy of below the map in the Knight's Armory, with this very same constellation, the Voyager, out beyond the land of Skaldova.

[Alfredo]

I clutch my not so broken compass. I think you might have been right, Boggy, about writing news stories.

[Chris]

I say with a little bit of craziness in my eyes.

[Caldwell Tanner]

Your eyes are so white. Let's voyage on to Darwin's place.

[Murph]

I say, okay, you guys, pick up your wounded as the roots of this tree close over the dawn hold and all that you've left below, a final grave for the worthy and not so worthy alike. The cistern and its dark poison is finally destroyed. And here, under the shining voyager, surrounded by the song of the cicadas, you begin your trek through the forest toward Darwin's house. And that's where we'll end our session.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Brian Murphy]

Oh, man. I thought Boggy was done for.

[Emily Axford]

I can't believe you remember the misty step.

[Caldwell Tanner]

That was so.

[Chris]

I mean, I've been sitting on that misty step because I couldn't wait to see it in action. And there wasn't a moment that I needed it.

[Murph]

That was perfect. Wow. Really good stuff.

[Emily Axford]

We'll talk more about this over on our Patreon. Patreon.com nadpod. That's naddpod. Don't sing yet. Don't do it. And then we've got some things to plug. We've got Dimension 20 at the Hollywood bowl on June 1st. Be on the lookout for that. We also are gonna be in Seattle on July 20th and we're gonna be in Vegas in November, so check those out. Search Dimension 20 live and get your tickets now.

[Murph]

Hell, yeah. And check out my substack. Does Emily have one yet or is it just me?

[Chris]

I have to join yours. I'm gonna join yours and see what you're doing with the medium.

[Murph]

Oh, shit. Then you'll never get on all of.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Jake' poster about how Emily doesn't have one.

[Murph]

Just trolling Axford. I'm trolling axford [e-mail].

[Jake Hurwitz]

I want to give a plug to my friend Casey's book. She just came out with a book. It's called A Physical Education How I Escaped Diet Culture and Gained the Power of Lifting. It's about how she basically, you know, got swole. And yeah, it's just a book about lifting and getting your mind right and everything.

[Caldwell Tanner]

And it's great. Great.

[Chris]

Cool.

[Emily Axford]

Check that out. What's the name of the book again?

[Jake Hurwitz]

A Physical Education by Casey Johnston.

[Chris]

Cool.

[Jake Hurwitz]

Now available in bookstores.

[Murph]

And go Casey.

[Emily Axford]

Check that out and you can follow us on social media. That Romier Ray Knott useforceme at Ashworth Emily and at jakehorts is Jake. And you can talk about the show online using NADpod. That's NADDPod.

[Murph]

We are, we are the youth of.

[Caldwell Tanner]

The nation we are, we are the.

[Murph]

Youth of the nation.

[Nate]

It's the end of the show, and you know what that means. It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders. Starting with Brad D. Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord later McSkater Matt M. Cutter W. Jeff C. Daniel G. Danielle the dastardly Dame Carpe Liam Victor D. Balnor's boy Hoids friend Justin I Danny Dancer TJM Trele the Crayfay Christopher B. Daniel R. Jordan L. Cyborg version of Josh the Kobold Targot Stevie Wags Hellish Rebuker the nbdmphd Princess Yar Jory S. Jack L. Nicholas C. Star of every every film ever made in Bohumia Mike H. Alka Schmelzer plus Great value Gemma Tyler F. Carrboro Chapel Hill FPV Cece Lulu Old Cobbs Dunkle Older Burn the Rabbit Folk Detective Timmy R. Raiko Jake's.

[Chris]

Jerk Jelly CCC Whew. You just. Just keep. You just keep putting poison in our.

[Nate]

Mouths Taylor B. Cass Strong Grinch Steven Shout out to Buoy the Troll C Mike K. Nick W. William W. Pig Bad beard of the man Eric McD Anana Percival Frederick Stein Von Musil Klosowski De Rolo III J Dragonborn Guardian of the vibe Honoring the cock Pithy witch.

[Alfredo]

Oh, I like that.

[Nate]

Ben A. Dave H. Dustin S. Not that Nick Danny F. Hawkeye Pierce Book Fart's assistant Izzy F. Big Bad John DPC is awesome Shown the Shade tree mechanic of Xelbeldar Summer Rose Grand Tear Mark the Dark Lord's taint Cat C Misa of House in Zunza Ariel the occasional mermaid Selena and Valacy Raptor B Pergy always Pat L Lauren H. Serve 16 Annie the Feywild Therapist Pierogi Frenzy Connor S. Salil BioCort 7Amber Dextra Bean Rat was innocent Trub Hop Dropper Jack H. King of the Mole People under Iron Deep dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament Valen Podge the bitchin bunny Bard Druidic Peyton Carlin C. Noah the Bullywug boy Honor the cuck Jane everything Bago the Eladrin who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey Reverend Chatterbones Han Eric B. Marcos learns the balance Druid Frida M. Meggie Holly the green laughing Hyena Cal misses the D5s with all her heart Aaron B. Russell H. A monk named Dilgo Cody C. Lorelai the Succubi and Kira the succulent snack McKenna S. Your friendly neighborhood Yont and Yoncle Andrew and Sid John Adams we can be done with presidential puns. Meg the mail carrier of Bahumia James F. Austin S. Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls. Get rid of them. Turn to page 42. Keep them. Turn to Paige 69 Oreo Shane C. Barpo Good Barrel Bardbarian Garrett G. One Big Curd Charlie Brown's best friend.

[Chris]

Wow, it sounds like Murph.

[Nate]

Renee the monster Captain Olivia the enchanting bard and Jared the soap opera cleric who will be auditioning for Callie's acting troupe. You're in Blue Ash Fico Garrett the artificer Valkyrie the Gert Sea Brother Anthony the raddest of dudes J.

[Chris]

The fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo.

[Nate]

Cantrip Dumbledore the bear Onesie wearing barbarian Lexi loves the two crew MJ the BFG Roger L. No Drog the Pass a Thing Fist Barbarian Jean Luca Leon Komori, legendary hero of Bohemia from a future campaign Shenanigans o' Connor Meos the Great Joshua S. Alexander Linds W. Sky the Wise AKA the Lone Dungeon Master Johnny Dudke the mischief of Nadpott's familiars Pavu Escanar the Goliath Paladin in providing service with a smile Kit and their cat hello to your cat Tim M. Tiles L. Tr Mlg Cheeto Shell B. Kenna's first favorite Sprite Girl thank you DM her crits for a beautifully poetic romp in Skaldova. By Ender's light we shall return. Jet S. Snailus who's infecting or from within a bone flute literally tells a story when played. Pawpaw Sky Days Meemaw Sky Days Megan N. K San the Jester jouster Anthony B. Savannah H. Balnor's best friend Steve Stephanie of House in Zunza Benjamin A. Gimli the Corgi Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend Michael A. Josh H. Pilot of the Nightmare Verse flight the two crew blew through Jennary Kelsey A. Ethan the Mailman Maple the Shy Bookworm Ashosaurus Billy Batson Tory the Tungsten Dragoose Accidental sharer of recipes Michael Lyle S II Carl B. Plumber of the Realm Dex Rittle Hannah A. Ace Dregs High Lord of Kritzburg Venn Diagram Catamilius the Consumed Clinton P. Cam the Frogman Dean Jake W. Hi, Mom Tuesday Cross Boo Steve L. Tyler M. Alex G. Zibita Bakery Kaylee Katarina C. Misty the Crispy Kitty really hates flame skulls Greg W. There's so many of us now. But hey, you're doing great and we love you.

[Alfredo]

Thank you.

[Chris]

We love you too.

[Nate]

Baruke Thunderhelm 5th generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide Chewbacc Aubrey Boney is dead Cohen Pace the Duke of Silk's missing son the Water Worth Nick Amy Aegis Qunari Ignition Class Petal Storm Nadia the Dice Druid a distant relative of both Welly and Moonshine it turns out it all comes back to the Crick Charlemagne. Not the God DJ Dramamin Alrech Von Zarovic My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show as if I.

[Chris]

Wasn'T already saying it.

[Nate]

And finally, Jessica with a G. Thank you all so much for your support.

[Alfredo]

We love you.

[Chris]

Goodbye, sweeties.

[Nate]

That was a HitGam podcast.