Podcast
Not By Chance Podcast
Hosted by Dr. Tim Thayne · EN
It’s hard to define what a successful and happy family is, much less how to achieve one. Dr. Tim Thayne, a thought-leader in teen treatment and parent coaching, shares inspiring best practices gleaned from decades of his own and other expert’s work related to intentional family living. Whether your family is in the midst of a major struggle or you are looking for fresh ideas to help you prioritize and enhance your home life, this podcast is for you.
10episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
From Treatment to Employment: Setting Teens Up for Success | Roger Knecht
Dec 300:45:05Tap to summarizeEver wonder how to help your teen truly thrive after treatment? In this episode of Not By Chance Podcast, host Tim and guest Roger Knecht explore how a first job can build confidence, independence, and real-world life skills. They share practical strategies for guiding your teen from treatment back to everyday life — covering topics like choosing the right work environment, setting expectations, and encouraging a strong work ethic without hovering. You’ll also learn how to nail job interviews, appreciate the value of “not-so-glamorous” work, and build resilience through real-world jobs.Plus: we’re offering free access to Trustyy’s Tradition Builder — a simple tool to help strengthen healthy family rituals. Visit trustyy.com/traditions to get yours.As well, if you want to give your teen a head start in job hunting and long-term career success, check out Roger’s Finding Employment with Confidence course — designed to equip teens (and adults!) with practical skills, confidence, and effective job-search strategies: universalbusinessbuilders.com/job-placement-sign-up.
Transcribe →Moments That Matter: Crafting Family Traditions Your Teen Will Remember
Nov 2600:23:39Tap to summarizeWhat makes a family bond unbreakable? This episode of the Not By Chance Podcast is your blueprint for building lasting connections through meaningful traditions. Join Tim and Roxanne as they unpack the science and art of family rituals—revealing why shared traditions aren't just fluff, but proven keys to belonging, identity, and resilience. 'From adapting old customs to creating new ones, Tim and Roxanne explore strategies for fostering cohesion, especially as families change and grow. Whether you're approaching the holidays, navigating teens in treatment, or melding new relationships, you'll discover practical tips for making traditions work for every stage. You'll also get free access to Trustyy's tradition builder—a simple tool that will help you prioritize and flex your family's rituals. You can access this builder at at www.trustyy.com/traditions. Tune in for lively stories, actionable advice, and fresh ways to elevate your family's celebrations. Walk away inspired to nurture love and belonging, one tradition at a time.
Transcribe →Turn Conflict Into Connection: The Four Statement Framework | Emil Harker
Nov 1300:45:32Tap to summarizeWhat if the most heated arguments with your teen could become your greatest opportunities for connection? Marriage and family therapist Emil Harker joins us to challenge everything you thought you knew about parent-child conflict. Drawing from his own struggles as a newlywed who "didn't have a clue" how to communicate, Emil reveals why hoping to avoid conflict is a terrible plan—and why real intimacy only happens when we learn to navigate it skillfully.Emil unpacks his powerful framework of four statement types that every parent faces: criticisms, questions, declarations, and commands. You'll discover why your instinct to defend yourself backfires, and learn the counterintuitive responses that release oxytocin and create bonding moments. When your teen says "You don't care about me" or "That's ridiculous—no other parent is like you," you'll finally know exactly what to say. Emil demonstrates how agreeing with the element of truth—nothing more, nothing less—disarms conflict and opens doors you thought were permanently closed.We tackle the respect dilemma head-on, exploring Emil's eye-opening conversation with his son who asked, "How have you taught me to respect you?" This leads to a crucial distinction between demanding deference and earning respect through consistent, accountable behavior. You'll hear a recorded example of a father who simply owned his mistakes without pushing an agenda, and his teen's stunning response: "Well, it isn't all you, dad. I got a part in it"—words this father had never heard before. It's a masterclass in why relationship must come before resolution, and how making connection your agenda naturally invites correction without force. Whether your teen is in treatment or you're navigating everyday tensions, this episode equips you with practical tools to transform conflict into your family's greatest asset.
Transcribe →Beyond the End Zone: Erik Kramer's Game-Changing Mission
Sep 1800:35:45Tap to summarizeReady for a game-changer in teen parenting? This episode of "Not By Chance" with Dr. Tim Thayne tackles the tough stuff head-on. We're diving into the world of Eric Kramer, former NFL quarterback turned mental health champion. It's a story of grit, loss, and an ultimate comeback that'll leave you inspired.Ever felt like you're fumbling in the dark when it comes to your teen's mental health? Eric's journey from the football field to rock bottom and back again sheds light on the shadows many families face. He opens up about losing his son Griffin to addiction, his parents to cancer, and nearly himself to depression. But here's the kicker—Eric didn't just survive, he's now thriving and helping others do the same.We explore Eric's innovative approach to youth development through his Passing Camp, where football meets mental fitness. It's not just about throwing spirals; it's about building resilience, fostering communication, and scoring touchdowns in life. Parents, this is your playbook for supporting your teen through their own battles, on and off the field.This episode is packed with practical advice on creating your family's "home team"—a support network that's crucial for navigating the ups and downs of teen years. Plus, we'll share how Trustyy, our show's sponsor, can be your digital coach in this parenting game.So, are you ready to turn your parenting fumbles into forward passes? Join us for an episode that proves it's not about the falls—it's about the comebacks. Because when it comes to raising resilient teens, we're all on the same team.
Transcribe →Marriage First: The Foundation of Effective Parenting | Mike Gurr
Sep 500:57:29Tap to summarizeEver felt like you're juggling flaming torches while trying to parent a troubled teen? Get ready to transform that precarious act into a masterful performance as Mike Gurr and Tim Thayne explore the art of intentional parenting after treatment. This episode of "Not By Chance" is your backstage pass to creating a family culture that's not just stable, but thriving.Mike Gurr, with his 23 years in the mental health trenches, shares his playbook for keeping your marriage strong even when your teen's struggles threaten to consume everything. You'll learn why putting on your own oxygen mask first isn't just a cliché—it's the cornerstone of effective parenting. And parents, are you ready for a paradigm shift? Discover the "inverted triangle" approach that evolves with your child, from toddler tantrums to teenage turbulence.We're tackling the elephant in the room—respect. What does it really mean in your family? How do you model it when you're at your wit's end? Mike and Tim offer practical strategies that will have you and your teen speaking the same language of mutual understanding.And for those of you navigating the tricky waters of post-treatment life, we've got your back. Learn about the sneaky "deep breath syndrome" and how to avoid slipping back into old patterns. It's time to turn your family's journey into a story of strength and growth.This isn't just a podcast episode—it's a blueprint for building unshakeable family bonds. Brought to you by Trustyy, the app that's revolutionizing how families stay connected and accountable. So, buckle up, parents. You're about to embark on a transformative ride that'll have you parenting with confidence, intention, and yes, even joy. Welcome to the family revolution, where every challenge is an opportunity to grow stronger together.
Transcribe →Freedom as Fuel: The Science of Motivating Teens
Aug 2100:41:36Tap to summarizeReady to revolutionize your approach to teen independence? Join Dr. Tim Thayne and Roxanne Thayne as they unpack the power of freedom as a motivator in this eye-opening episode of "Not By Chance." We're diving deep into the world of intentional parenting, where trust becomes your secret weapon and your teen's autonomy isn't just respected—it's celebrated.Ever felt like you're constantly battling over freedoms with your teen? We've got game-changing strategies that'll transform those conflicts into collaborations. Discover how to craft "slip-up plans" that put your teen in the driver's seat of their own accountability. It's not about clamping down—it's about building guardrails that guide without confining.We're pulling back the curtain on Trustyy, the revolutionary app that's changing the parent-teen dynamic. This AI-powered ally helps your teen create mature, well-thought-out plans for earning freedoms, all without you lifting a finger. It's like having a wise mentor in your teen's pocket, guiding them towards independence with savvy and style.From overindulgent to fear-based parenting, we're breaking down the pitfalls and offering a fresh perspective that'll have your teen not just listening, but actively engaging in their own growth. This isn't just another parenting lecture—it's a roadmap to a harmonious household where respect flows both ways and your teen's potential soars.Lastly, Tim will be will be featured on TIC · Talk 2025 — a one-day conference created by clinicians for professionals supporting teens and families through crisis, trauma, and major life transitions. Held on October 10th in Layton, UT, this event offers 6.5 CEUs and stands out as a meaningful, practical gathering for therapists and care providers, we would love to see you there!
Transcribe →They're Wired for Freedom, Are You Wired to Let Go?
Aug 1400:27:25Tap to summarizeReady to revolutionize your approach to parenting teens? Join Dr. Tim Thayne and his wife Roxanne as they unpack a groundbreaking shift in teen treatment and family dynamics. This episode of "Not By Chance" challenges the old control-based parenting model, replacing it with a fresh perspective that honors your teen's innate drive for autonomy.Discover why giving your teenager more freedom—not less—might be the key to unlocking their potential. The Thaynes share personal stories and professional insights that will transform how you view trust, competence, and the delicate balance of power in your home. You'll learn why allowing early failures can lead to lasting success, and how to parent from a place of belief rather than fear.From navigating homework struggles to celebrating moments of genuine competence, this episode is packed with practical wisdom. The Thaynes introduce Trustyy, an innovative app designed to support this new parenting paradigm, and offer a free tool at trustandfreedom.trustyy.com to help you create a plan for your teen to earn back freedom.Whether you're a parent in the thick of teen challenges or a professional working with families, this episode promises to shift your perspective and equip you with strategies to foster trust, encourage responsibility, and ultimately, set your teen up for a future of success. Don't miss this chance to be part of a parenting revolution that aligns with your teen's natural development and strengthens your family bonds.
Transcribe →Understanding Teen Resistance: Signals, Not Defiance
Aug 700:30:54Tap to summarizeAre you tired of feeling like you're in a constant tug-of-war with your resistant teen? Get ready to transform your parenting approach as Tim and Roxanne Thayne dive deep into the world of teen resistance, offering you a lifeline of understanding and practical strategies.In this eye-opening episode, we explore the hidden emotions behind your teen's defiant facade. Through vivid storytelling—like the scout conquering his fear of heights—you'll gain insights into the complex world of adolescent behavior. We'll unpack the hormonal hurricane that hits at puberty, helping you navigate the sudden mood swings that leave you wondering, "Who replaced my child with this rebellious stranger?"But here's the kicker—what if you're unknowingly fueling the resistance fire? We'll guide you through a self-reflection journey, uncovering how your thoughts and beliefs might be contributing to the cycle. You'll learn to spot those golden moments of cooperation and build on them, creating a new dynamic of trust and understanding.And speaking of trust, get ready for a game-changer! We're introducing the Trust and Freedom Recovery Tool, powered by Trustyy. This innovative app is your secret weapon in bridging the communication gap, allowing teens to express themselves safely and earn freedoms without losing face. It's not just a tool—it's a revolution in parent-teen relationships.We wrap up with a powerful message on the transformative power of hope. You'll learn why maintaining optimism, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable resistance, can be the catalyst for profound change in your family dynamics.This isn't just another parenting lecture—it's your roadmap to breaking through the barriers and reconnecting with your teen. So, are you ready to turn resistance into resilience? Join us for an episode that promises to redefine your parenting journey and reignite the bond with your teenager.
Transcribe →Resilience Runs in This Family: Teaching Teens to Draw Strength from Pioneers, Heroes, and Models
Jul 3100:33:41Tap to summarizeReady to revolutionize your parenting game? Join Dr. Tim Thayne and Roxanne as they uncover the hidden superpower of family history in building teen resilience. This episode of "Not By Chance" isn't just a walk down memory lane—it's a blueprint for crafting unshakeable teen confidence using the stories etched in your family tree.Ever wondered how to turn dusty old tales into vibrant life lessons? We've got you covered. From creating eye-catching legacy boards to crafting digital timelines that pop, you'll learn how to make your family's past come alive for your teens. It's not just about remembering—it's about connecting, inspiring, and empowering.But wait, there's more! We're not just talking about looking back—we're propelling your teens forward. Discover how to ignite the pioneer spirit in your children, encouraging them to blaze their own trails with the courage of their ancestors. And for those moments when "I can't" creeps in? We've got a secret weapon: the power of shared physical challenges that'll have your whole family chanting, "We can do hard things!"This isn't just an episode—it's a call to action. It's time to dust off those family albums, dig into those untold stories, and unleash the resilience-building potential hiding in your lineage. Are you ready to transform your teens from history observers to history makers? Tune in, gear up, and let's make some family magic happen!Sponsored by Trustyy, the app that's revolutionizing how parents support their teens post-treatment. Because your family's success story is just beginning.
Transcribe →When Your Teen Stops Caring - What to do When Consequences Don’t Work
Jul 1700:38:02Tap to summarizeAre you feeling like you're in a constant tug-of-war with your teen? Get ready to transform that power struggle into a powerful partnership! In this episode of "Not By Chance," Dr. Tim Thayne and Roxanne Thayne dive deep into the world of modern parenting, where traditional consequences just don't cut it anymore.We're tackling the tough questions head-on. Why do our old strategies fall flat? How can we navigate the treacherous waters of teen independence in today's complex world? And most importantly, how can we shift from seeing our teens as problems to embracing them as partners in finding solutions?But we're not just talking theory here. We're unveiling a game-changing tool that's set to revolutionize how you communicate with your teen. Enter the Trust and Freedom Recovery tool—an AI-powered coach that puts the ball in your teen's court, helping them craft their own roadmap to earning trust and freedom.This isn't just another parenting podcast—it's your lifeline to building a relationship with your teen that's built on mutual respect, understanding, and collaboration. Whether you're at your wit's end or just looking to strengthen your bond, this episode is packed with insights that will transform your approach to parenting.Ready to trade in those power struggles for powerful conversations? Tune in to discover how the Trustyy app is changing the game for families just like yours. It's time to parent with intention, not by chance. Let's embark on this journey together—your family's future is waiting!
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