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Good sleep is everything. That's why Ollie's science bag support is made with a blend of melatonin and L theanine for both kiddos and grownups. So when your mind won't switch off, you've got something that can help your racing thoughts and restless nights won't stand a chance. Find Ollie sleep solutions for the whole family@ollie.com that's O L L Y.com
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now streaming. Disney invites you to go behind the scenes with Taylor Swift in an excl episode docu series.
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I wanted to give something to the fans that they didn't expect. The only thing left is to close the book.
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The end of an era. And don't miss Taylor Swift. The Eras Tour, the final show featuring for the first time, the Tortured Poets Department. Now streaming only on Disney
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Wave.
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Not gonna lie. Puppy kisses are great until you've watched them eat their own poop.
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Yeah.
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Yuck. Let's get this podcast started. Welcome back to a very special springtime episode. My microphone. Look, look. My microphone is swinging away. Because it's like, I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to do a solo episode.
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You need to be quiet. Stop talking into a microphone.
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Welcome back to a very special springtime
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solo episode
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of Not Gonna Lie, A Wave original brought to you by Lululemon. I'm your host, Kylie Kelsey. I haven't been to a movie theater in. Oh, no,
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12.
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No, it has to be shorter than that because I went with Jason when we were dating, let's say nine years. Yeah, I'm not. I'm not taking my kids to a movie theater yet because I don't want to be that disrespectful to the other people in the movie theater. With the 23rd overall pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, I predict the Eagles will select someone I'm gonna cheer for. And Jason and I finally got to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary a few days late. And that's okay, because it was worth it. Last week, he told me that I needed to block off some time. This Sunday, he gave me no other information, which is, you guessed it, terrifying. And so it turns out it was worth the wait. We went and did pots. We made pots. We did pottery. We threw on a pottery wheel, which I. Neither of us have ever done before. So that was very exciting. And we both had different strengths while we were doing it, I think. And I took it as a personal challenge to tell the clay who was boss. And Jason made a very cool and interesting pot. It was. It was fun. I do fear that his pots are going to come out better, but the good news about that is they will live in our house. So I get to benefit from the beautiful pots too. How about that? We do not have any anniversary traditions. In recent years we have tried to get interesting with using what are like the suggested gifts for each year. Last year was copper. I got a Lorax and he's perfect. I did not get anything bronze this year because it's either bronze or pottery. So we went with pottery. I actually really appreciate that because I feel feel like the Lorax might actually be bronze.
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Don't tell anyone
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because I love the Lorax and I love that he got me inside. It was. It's honestly one of my favorite gifts. Anyway, coming up on today's solo episode, I'm gonna answer 8ish ask me some things questions submitted by the real ones in honor of my eight year anniversary plus the return of you know what's fucked up. We also have a loaded doom scroll of the week about how fucked up women's clothing sizes are and dating red flags. I'm also going to attempt to give some very unqualified parenting advice in a brand new segment featuring someone who never wants to be on camera, Queen Emma. That's right, we all want. Since I agreed to do a solo episode, Queen Emma has agreed to be on camera. And by agreed, I mean Volun told.
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Yeah, I don't think I agreed to this.
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Yes, you did. You're on camera. It's only fair. But before we get into all of that, let's start with a few quick NGL announcements. First up, this coming Tuesday, April 28th, you're getting a truly historic episode of FAFO. Guys, I was somehow let loose on
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the Pennsylvania State Capitol and I've never felt more like Leslie Knope in my life. It was wonderful. And I had no business being there. A little business. I'm born and raised Pennsylvania, so.
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And more importantly, I got to sit down with Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and First Lady Laurie Shapiro. I'm so excited for the real ones to see this.
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And.
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And you may also get to see how bad I am at basketball. That's not a tease. I am fucking trash at basketball. And you can see it if you watch this FAFO episode. It's honestly horrific. And the only reason I'm agreeing to let it stay in this episode is because we have another FAFO planned right now that I think I will be able to show off a more athletic prowess. I don't even know if I'd call it that. The first shot I took, it was so bad. It was. I haven't shot a basketball. I'm not exaggerating. I haven't shot a basketball in 15 years.
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How old am I? 24. Mathing math.
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Yeah, almost 15 years. Holy trash. Anyway, make sure you tune in this Tuesday on our YouTube channel. Make sure you set your alerts so you don't miss it. Next up, it's official. NGL just won podcast of the year at the 2026 Webby Awards.
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Oh, no.
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We also won the People's Voice award for Best New Podcast and Best partnership. Shout out to the Real Ones for voting and more importantly, for watching every week. And also, thank you to the amazing guests I had no business talking to for somehow agreeing to come on because we couldn't have done it without you. You know who else we couldn't have done it without? Our amazing team on ngl. It is not about me. I could not put on a podcast by myself, especially to this caliber. It would be a vertically recorded iPhone video on selfie side. It would be trash. It's about. And final announcement. Last week I asked the Real Ones for suggestions on organizations that we should donate our new merch proceeds to. And as always, you guys delivered. Some top choices were Play Like a Girl, Girls on the Run and Special Olympics.
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Ooh.
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Because we donated our field hockey fafo with Nikki Marie proceeds to Girls on the Run. I feel like Play Like a Girl is the right one here. And since we're supporting women in sports, Play Like a Girl it is. Moving on, let's get right to our Real one. Comments of the Week this week there was a photo of Jason in a cowboy hat going around from Lane and Kelsey Johnson's wedding.
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As you can imagine, it's an excellent picture.
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It's outstanding for the audio listeners. My husband is standing kind of sideways here with a cowboy hat on, a bolo scarf tie thing, and you can very clearly see his salt and pepper beard. Now he's dressed in all black. I said he looked like something straight out of Yellowstone. Did I watch Yellowstone? Absolutely not. If you think I have time to walk into a show as serious as that, you are incorrect. Did I want to?
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Absolutely.
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I will say, I saw a ton of comments. Ton of comments. And. And I feel like we should address them. Some of you do get it. Someone said, are we allowed to like photo number four? I feel like we just need permission. Yep, you are allowed to like it. Someone else said, I promise I'm looking. Respectfully, thank you so much for saying that, Amanda. That's very kind of you. But then I see. Then I see. Some people still don't quite understand. Someone said, I'm here for cowboy Kelsey. Nope, I'm going to say it. Jason is fine. You better hide your eyes, Jason. Kelsey sliding into hot cowboy Summer was not on my bingo card. Okay, Meg, no. Alexa, why are you hot and sweating? Why are you hot and sweating, Alexa?
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No.
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Consider this your quarterly reminder. That's mine. And not only can I fight, I will fight. You can look all you want. You can look all you want. But that man is only tipping his hat at me. Thank you. Also, Jennifer said pick four screams baby number five. Lol. You watch her mouth, Jennifer. You watch her mouth. My uterus might hear you. She's not talking to you. Uterus. Guys, we have four children. My youngest child just turned one.
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Can you, I don't know, take a chill pill?
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I've seen him. Trust me, we have four. I get it.
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Mine, mine, mine, mine.
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Also because I'm a big Finding Nemo lady.
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I do love how frequently you guys put the Finding Nemo seagulls in the comments of the videos or photos where my husband is looking. Fine. Keep that up.
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That's women supporting women. All right, now that that's been handled, let's get to the long awaited return of you know what's up. Yeah, hey, you know what's up? Three of my babies are now officially in school and I don't feel great about it. Yeah, I don't. Benny started preschool last week because she's three now and we were waiting until after spring break because our schedules were a little wonky. And also I was being selfish.
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I wanted her to stay home with me.
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So we have been preparing for this for quite some time. There have been quite a few things that we have worked on at home where I've said to her, well, we need to be able to do this because you're going to school. And that was very helpful in progressing us forward on a lot of different skills and specifically encouraging some independence. The first day was great for Benny and so she got out of the car and I you not I said bye, Benny, I love you. And she went, love you. She didn't turn around. She didn't turn around. She didn't even turn around. After her second day.
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She said to me, I love goa school. I love goa school.
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I'm really excited.
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I go to.
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I go a school. I go a school. And that's why she's in school. Right? How did I Handle it. I mean, I talked about it the entire day, guys. She was there for three hours. I talked about it relentlessly the whole three hours. I told everyone that would listen that she didn't turn around. And then I had to keep saying and convincing myself that I was okay with that, only because I am an adult and I should be able to handle being not okay more than she would handle being not okay. So I'm glad I was the one that was not okay and she was not the one that was not okay all around. I'd say, like, 1 out of 10 reading on that experience for me. I'm so excited for her and so
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excited for her to be in school
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and enjoying herself and with, like, the best teachers. And it still hurts my soul. So you can bet your bottom dollar, when they get out of school for summer, I'm locking in. You're gonna see me less on this screen. You're gonna hear my voice less. Thank God, right? There's a bunch of people that just went, jesus, finally. And I am just gonna.
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I'm gonna summertime so hard in their faces. God, I can't wait.
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Finn's having the time of her life. The fact that she gets to walk around and just up. Wow, she's having a blast. No one's taking her remote, AKA her phone. She's having uninterrupted phone calls, which is very important for Finn. She gets to pound on the piano toy that she has, and nobody takes
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it away from her, which is very exciting.
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She gets to read whatever book she picks, and she doesn't have to wait for her turn to come up. I don't think she actually knows about turns, but she does get pissed off when her sisters get on my lap for some reason. I don't know if it's just because Jason has a wider lap. They don't get as mad sharing a lap if there's more than two.
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Pissed, livid.
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But Finn's enjoying herself, and I'm happy
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for her and sad for me.
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Anyway, that does it for. You know, what's up.
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Let's continue this theme of up in Dooms.
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Girl of the week. First, if it wasn't already clear how fucked up sizes are on women's clothing. Peep the confidence. Just managed to perfectly sum up my own feelings on this.
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Queen Emma, the clip, please.
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Size does not matter, and I'm gonna prove it. This is a size four. Hello, Stunning. However, this gown is also a size four. Stunning. Can't get her zipped. Size six. I actually can't believe I'm selling this one. Whoa. Also, a size 6 can zip. Size 8.
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Size 8?
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Not a chance. Size 10? Size 12. I can't even show you the back.
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I can't even show you the back. Size 14.
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Back in a size 6. Size doesn't matter. Size never mattered. And all that matters is how you feel good in what you're wearing, because nobody's gonna know what number you're wearing.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so first of all, this is. I believe if I butcher this.
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I'm so sorry.
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I believe this is D. If you haven't seen her videos, they're delightful. She does the ootd. The ooh, tada. Peep the shoe, if you remember that. I still remember watching those. I'm pretty sure during COVID that's how far back it goes. Diana's great because she sort of relieves the stress of fashion. She likes to sometimes be a little more adventurous. This video in particular, when I say adventurous, I mean more adventurous than I would get.
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Which I wear jeans, a T shirt, and Chuck Taylor's to pretty much everything I do. So just take that with a grain of salt.
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Anyway, this video is the perfect summary of women's clothes. Off the top of my head, I can think of four different brands, brands as a whole, that if I were to try on the same size in everyone, one might fit, one would be too big, and two would be too small. And that's crazy behavior. Okay, now we get the perk of. Now you can read reviews of certain clothing online. That's very helpful. But I do think that the range, it's not like a lot of. There are a number of places where you will order clothing from. If you order it in the same size from one store. If you order from a different store or brand, you're talking about a size variation that could go two, three sizes outside of what you expect should fit you. That's crazy. Now, I do want to put emphasis on the fact that she said no one's going to know what size you're wearing. Think about this. When you put your clothes on, where's the tag? That's right. On the inside. Who's checking your tag? Seriously, who's checking your tag? Do not get stuck on a number on a tag, because if something fits you properly, if you size up or down to the appropriate size that fits your body, and most importantly, is comfortable, it's going to look 10 times better than if you went with a size because you were like, that's the size I want on my tag.
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Who gives a What number's on your tag?
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That doesn't matter. No one's going to see your tag. Yeah, I have a pair of jeans. I have a pair of jeans right now that are a 30 tall. Okay. In another brand I have which I think equates to a 10 or a 12, I don't know. But I have another pair of eight long jeans from another brand that fit me like a glove. We gotta cut the guys. Don't worry about, don't. Do not worry about the number on your tag. Your tag goes inside of your closing your inside of your clothing. No one is checking your tag. The only time your tag is going to be viewable is when that clothing is off of you. And in a platonic situation, no one's checking your laundry basket. And in a non platonic situation, no
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one is checking your tag, if you catch my drift. You're gonna be busy with other things. So. Okay.
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Glad we went there. One of the top comments on this clip is as someone with body dysmorphia, I cut the sizes out on most of my clothes so that I never have to see it. If it fits and makes me feel good, it's my size. This is the vibe. This is the vibe. Now I hope that people get to a place where they don't even need to cut the tags out because they can just not give that life. But if this is the way that you need to do it. Right. Yes. The key is if it fits and makes me feel good, it's my size. Period. The end. That's all we have to say about that next scroll. Apparently things are not going great in dating scene right now. At least based on this woman's 35 minute date. She breaks down while deboning a rotisserie chicken and let me just before, before you play the clip, Queen Emma. What did he do?
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Go ahead, let's find out.
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Welcome back to a segment we call talking while deboning a Chicken. Today we're going to be talking about how I just got back from a 35 minute date. Tell us why I walked in at 7:00'.
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Clock.
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No, you know what?
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703.
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I walked in at 7:03 after he was incessantly texting me asking for my update. I said I was running a couple of minutes late. I said no more than five. And he was like okay, great. Like I'm waiting at the bar, I'll take my airpods out. And I'm like putting it in my purse. I look to my right, this man is staring at me. I realize it is the man that I am meeting, mind you.
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He said he was 6 foot, but
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I look over and I am staring him directly in the eye. And I am five six, made a comment about how he, like, has lived
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in New York for a year.
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So I was like, oh, you know, obviously, where are you coming from? Like, what's the vibe? He's like, oh, I'm coming from Tim. San Diego. And I was like, oh, my gosh, a San Diego to New York pipeline. Like, you don't hear that super often because of the beach. He was like, yeah, but, like, he wants to hang out on the beach all the time. And I was just like, yeah, no, who would want that? Of which somehow this conversation transitions into the fact that I was like, oh, you know, why? Why were you in San Diego? And he was like, well, my wife, or I guess my ex wife. And I was like, oh, yeah, tell me more. And he was like, well, you want me to tell you all my secrets? Like, I'm not gonna tell you that.
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And I was just like, you brought it up, sir. You're the one that responded that, like, you could have lied.
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You could have lied.
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And then finishing our drinks, the lady comes over and she was like, can I get you another drink? And I was like, you can kindly get me the check. Of which I think he thought that I had changed my mind in a matter of seconds because he just seemed as if, oh, she wants the check. We're obviously leaving together. The check comes. Man's did not even attempt. Attempt to pretend that he was okay with split, like, taking the check, pull out my wallet and, like, put my o. My card down. Because I'm like, no way am I going to let this man think that if he pays, he's taking me anywhere.
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Okay, let me say this. I saying this as someone who has been out of the dating game for quite some time now.
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Thank the Lord for that. Shout out to my hubby, okay?
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Women are tired.
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Women are tired. You know what? They're tired of your shit. Yeah. Holy red flags. Okay, I don't even know where to start on how many red flags are in this video.
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Okay?
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Lying about your height, grabbing your phone, not offering to put your card down, talking about an ex wife, and then not answering additional questions or thinking it's weird that she has questions about the fact that you just mentioned a wife or ex wife. What? Also, and maybe the most egregious, assuming she'll go home with you.
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Yuck.
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No, let's be clear. If you're on a date and it's going well, and maybe you are going
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to go home with him. You would both know that.
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That would be abundantly clear.
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It should just be like, we know
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what's about to happen.
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You're both gonna know. So yuck. Again, I don't necessarily know that I ever went on rough dates prior to Jason because
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didn't really go on dates.
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The people that I went out on dates with, there weren't that many, and I vetted them like I knew them, so I knew it wasn't going to be horrific. Going out on a blind date I would not have done. I just don't have trust like that in people. Jason was the first and last Tinder date I ever went on. Queen Emma's asking what unsolicited advice I would give to people dating right now. Godspeed. I genuinely. I'm so sorry. You know what? This is what I'll say. Trust your gut. If someone is willing to lie about their height that aggressively, we're talking six foot tall and five, six is very different. Okay. If someone is willing to lie about their height to that extent, why? Why? I'd rather go out with someone who said they were 56 than someone who's 6. I just don't understand the lying. I mean, you guys know I started a podcast called not going to lie. Lying irks me to a degree that I cannot explain. So, no, absolutely not. Unsolicited advice I would give people dating right now is trust your gut. Trust your gut. Because women's intuition, you know? And last scroll I doom scrolled so hard on TikTok, I wound up back at the 2013 NFL Draft year Travis
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was drafted by the Chiefs. Queen m the clip. With a 63rd pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select Travis Kelce. Tight end, Cincinnati.
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Yay, Trav. Woo. Go tr. Yeah. This is very exciting because this episode is actually dropping on the first day of the 2026 NFL Draft. And for those of you who don't know, this is a monumental day in a lot of people's lives. This is the moment that these guys have been working towards, countless hours and effort that they have put into being able to be receiving a phone call tonight or over the next couple days. This is an incredible accomplishment and it is so exciting, not only for these players, but the opportunity that their families get to celebrate with them. I like tuning into the draft as, like, background noise. I like putting it on and listening to it as it goes by. If the Eagles ever asked me to announce a late round pick. I would say say no because I actually don't like being in front of people. So no, thank you, but I'm excited for you. But I don't want to do it. Also, on the off chance that I mispronounce the person's name, could you imagine I would be mortified. I don't want to be that person. I want to give people the respect of having their names announced correctly and it I'd probably botch it. That's it for Dooms Girl of the Week. I'll be right back with your most burning questions for me after this random woman I've never met in my life talks to you about one of her favorite things.
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Lululemon.
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The real ones know that I've been wearing my favorite Lululemon shorts and leggings since I was 19 and that's a long time. Since I'm 24, maybe. Plus 10. Okay, moving on. The best part is Lululemon looks great. And last, you feel that the first time you put it on and you feel it six months later or almost a decade later. They hold up just like when you first bought them. Plus their new spring styles take that even further. I'm loving the new Rulo Drapey Yoga Jogger. That's these. Okay, you want to know why I love them?
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Because it's comfortable. They stretch with you. You can chase children in them.
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It's made with Roulu, Lululemon's ultra soft four way stretch fabric that wicks sweat and keeps its shape. Wear after wear. Plus they are as comfortable as a pair of tights, but the fit is loose and drapey so you have room to breathe.
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No hard pants over here.
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Here's the thing you need to know. Lululemon does limited color runs, so when those new styles drop every Tuesday, they go fast. You don't want to wait if it's not for you. Lululemon offers free returns. No risk. That's lululemon.com new drops every Tuesday. Go now the real ones know I'm an animal lover through and through, whether it's the tigers, St. Snakes or turtles at the zoo or my two dogs at home. Because Freddie and Patty are getting along great and the girls like her because she is more appropriately toddler sized. And good news for animals everywhere. Amazon Pet Day is coming back for its fifth year. Amazon is making it bigger and better than ever before by offering five full days of savings. Amazon Pet Profiles allows you to set up a profile for your pet and receive personalized recommendations based on breed size and preferences. A good thing for turtle girls like Emma. It's not just dogs and cats either. Fish, horses, small animals and birds can have their own profiles too. All you have to do is use the Amazon mobile app and search pet profiles in the search bar to navigate the pet profiles page or customers on desktop can go to www.Amazon.com yourpets select what type of pet you have and enter their breed, age and weight. Plus you can enter their name and a picture of course. And Amazon will give you the best product recommendations tailored for your pet. From May 11th through the 15th, customers will find deals on pet food and treats, toys, apparel, healthcare products, grooming supplies and so much more. Visit Amazon.com pets to learn more. And I'm back. And so is Ask Me somethings because Ask Me Anything was far too open ended, you wacky mother. In honor of today's solo episode and my eight year anniversary with Jason, I'm going to answer 8ish of the real ones questions.
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Meaning at least eight. I don't know. Queen Emma put them in there. We'll see how many we get through.
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Rapid fire style. She says rapid fire.
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She knows that's never gonna happen.
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I'm gonna try my best. Here we go, Here we go. Here we go. Someone asked, how about an update on your two pups? They're doing great.
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They love each other.
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Benny is still their fearless leader. She bosses everybody around. Jason is definitely still calling Freddy Gunda, like aggressively. It never comes out Gunda. It's always Gunda. Like it's like this, like so aggressive. He calls Patty Patty. And Patty only gets called Patricia when she's getting in trouble. And then it's just like the Tick Tock audio. You can insert it here, Patricia. Okay, it's that.
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Oh, Freddie didn't like that.
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But they're getting along, they play nicely. And Freddie has figured out where she needs to hide. Either under the deck or under people's feet so that Patty can't completely truck her ass. It's fine. They're learning. The next question is, what should a big Eagles fan do if their husband got them a cowboy shirt for Christmas?
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I could think of a couple things
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right out of the gate. My first instinct is cut it up and use it as a rag. That's simple, straightforward, to the point. Next. Which is probably a little bit more appropriate.
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Donate it. You don't even, you don't even need that thing anymore.
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I'm. I have to be honest. My first thought was sighted on fire. I think it's best that you get Rid of the shirt in an obvious way. And then
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you get an Eagles green car. Might I recommend a Toyota Sienna? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. A little bit.
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Don't pee on that floor. Hey, don't do it. I'm going to go burn it on the driveway. Just guys, women's intuition. I'm going with my gut. Burn it on the driveway. Light it on fire. Maybe in a fire pit so that it's contained. Be responsible about it, but definitely light it on fire. Okay. As a fellow girl, mom, what are your thoughts on sleepovers? No. Oh, guys, we live in a different world than when we were growing up. And to be fair, I didn't even really have sleepovers when I was growing up. I think I can, off the top of my head, remember maybe, maybe two or three sleepovers that I had. No, my kids are not going for sleepovers. I will let them stay for all the activities and then I'll pick you up to go to bed if you want me to take you back in the morning. Because people are doing, like, breakfast and an activity in morning. I'll take you back.
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You're sleeping in your house, you know.
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Yeah, I have trust issues. Okay. Let's just. I do. Has Kylie done a Tim Tam slammer yet?
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I'm so glad you asked this.
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For those who do not know, first of all, what a Tim Tam is, I'm going to say that it is the Australian version of an Oreo. Now, that's coming from an American. So if you are an Australian or a New Zealander who have grown up with Tim Tams, please do not come for me because I'm now going to glaze them. Queen Emma. I'm gonna glaze the out of these Tim Tams.
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Okay, now,
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the Tim Tam slam Tim Tams are a rectangular cookie that are two chocolate biscuits with a chocolate cream in the middle. And then they are completely enrobed. You guessed it in more chocolate. I love it so much. Okay. What you do is for a Tim Tam slam, which is great because it came. My Tim Tams. My Tim Tams.
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I'm pretty sure they were sent to my husband. Whatever.
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What's his is mine and what's mine is his. You know what I'm saying? They sent it with a card, and the card actually explained a Tim Tam slam. My favorite part about this question is that I did it for four Tim Tams this morning. The good news is, is that the nutritional facts are not structured in the way that the American snacks are. They're really easy to Ignore. Because then I would have to, like,
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really get in there and read about it.
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Don't look at the front of the package. It tells you about two cookies. Just ignore that. Kind of like the number on your tag.
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Ignore it.
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It's not helpful information, so we just pretend it's not there. You take a Tim Tam. You take the rectangular cookie. Okay, this is not helpful. My. You take the rectangular cookie vertically as if you were holding an iPhone. That's how you hold the cookie. You bite one corner, and then you bite the opposite corner. So you're biting a top corner, and then you're biting a bottom corner. They need to be opposite the cookie diagonally across the cookie.
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And then you take the cookie and
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you put the bottom of the cookie in the coffee. It says you can do it with tea and with milk. Hot chocolate. Fine. Do what makes you happy. Let me tell you.
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A butter pecan Dunkin coffee getting slurped through that. Stop it right now. You cut the.
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Okay, so let me tell you. This is why you want to use hot coffee or a warm drink.
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You're holding your Tim Tam.
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You use it like a straw.
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Now you're thinking, there's no way this coffee is going to come up this Tim Tam.
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Wrong. Immediately wrong. Oh, my God. Not only does it come up the Tim Tam. Okay, but then it melts the chocolate and the cookies.
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I want more. Now you can eat them just straight
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up, because I did that last night, too. Oh. This is a really. This is a really cohesive episode because I'm gonna have to forget the number on the inside. I'm have to wear my postpartum jeans again. I got out of them for a minute, and then I got a box of Tim Tams, and now I'm gonna get back in them. And you know what? I'm happy. I'm happy because this morning I had a Tim Tam slam and a coffee. Oh, stop it. This is where the rapid fire goes off the rail. Rapid fire who? I don. Know where you can buy them locally. Although I did see a couple people in my DM saying that you can buy them at World Market. I'm guessing you can order them online. We got a big box of them and not. There's not a single cookie broken in there, so. Outstanding, outstanding packaging by Tim Tams.
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Tim Tams, I love you. Okay, that's it.
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Okay, now, next question. Wedding season. What was the best shower wedding gift you and Jason received? Oof. It was a while ago, guys.
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Eight years.
C
It was a while ago. I am a huge Proponent of stick to the registry. I do it for baby showers, I do it for wedding gifts. I want to stick to a registry. If you're going to tell me what to get, then I'm going to get that because I am good rule follower. Now, if there isn't a registry or we're given other instructions, I'm going to listen to that too. Hey, puppy. Hey puppy. We got a lot of gifts pertaining to dogs and I'm gonna tell you why. Because we had Winnie at the time and we loved her dearly and she was the dog I always wanted. So we put her on our wedding invitation and I think that that signaled to people we're obsessed with our dogs. Number one, you're correct. Number two, we got a gift from friends of ours that was an opportunity to have a portrait painted of our dogs. I think it's my favorite wedding gift. Shout out to Genevieve the artist. She came and photographed the dogs and then made them into this gorgeous. I mean, I don't even have to send you a picture. It's in the background of every week. It's the one up above the fireplace. I love it so much that we have discussed where we're going to put it in the house as if it is a like hard must on the wall. It has Winnie and Blue in it and so it's perfect and I love
D
every bit of it.
C
So that's my favorite. What I will circle back to if I cannot find something on your registry that I think I would like to buy you. It's cash or check, guys.
D
It's cash or check.
C
Don't be silly. Don't be out here trying to buy some whack ass stuff.
D
Just stick.
C
If someone tells you what to get, get that.
D
Unless it's a portrait of your dogs and then do that. God, I love that picture.
C
Okay, next question. Tips for maintaining friendships when busy with kids. It's hard. I literally don't have tips for you. If you have tips for me, can you tell me? Because I, I got nothing. I genuinely. Here's what I. I've been trying and I've not been doing a good job. Admittedly, I've been trying to, when I think of someone or something, text them immediately. Because sometimes it's just opening that line of communication back up. I can't even get there right now. So just take my advice with a grain of salt. If you have advice, tag at ngo with Kylie so that I can do better and we can all do better together. How about that? This next question. Were you a Disney Channel kid. If so, what is your Disney Channel? Mount Rushmore. Wow. I wasn't really a Disney Channel kid. I think I'd have to go with. Yeah, I think I'd have to go with, like, Miley is an obvious Hillary. Obvious.
D
Who didn't love Lizzie McGuire? I mean, that's what dreams are made of.
C
You know what? Brenda Song. Oh, and Selena Gomez. Wizards of Waverly Place banger.
D
I
C
was a late, late comer to the Disney Channel crowd. I still enjoyed it, though. I was. I was late to the party because we didn't have cable until I was
D
a little bit older.
C
And by a little bit older, I mean when it was an appropriate time to watch those types of shows.
D
So I came in at the right time.
C
Next question. Has Jason mastered putting his daughter's hairs in a ponytail? I struggle with my daughter's hair. Jason does sometimes get involved in the hair routine, especially on school mornings, because we're just sort of, I mean, running around like chickens with our heads cut off. He rem. I will remind you guys that he did have long hair at some point himself, which he often wore in a man bun. He likes to go for a bun when he does their hair. I will tell you why it has the patience to allow him to do it. But the other thing I will point out is that he has man mitts.
D
And by that I mean his fingers.
C
He played football for a long time. Puppy, do not pee in this house.
D
Hold on, let me let her out.
C
That was silly. And you look silly because you don't even fit through there. She literally got stuck. I had to pull the fence like this so that she could get her ass back through.
D
She's a good dog, though. She's just a little sneaky.
C
Years of football has made his hands. His dexterity is challenging, so sometimes when he's doing hair, he doesn't bend his hands. And the craziest part about that, he does it with, like, the palm of his hands. The craziest part about it is, and this is a running theme when I talk about my husband, is that he still nails it, which is very annoying. He's good at everything and it's a pain in my ass. But I do think he had some practice because he used to wear a man bun. So now he does try to do buns. They're lower than I would put them, but they always come out looking good.
D
So annoying.
C
This is why I married him.
D
At least I can be on his team.
C
This person asked, when is the suck my ass merch coming? Whenever you want. Literally the next drop will have an sma. Maybe we should just embroider SMA on a sweatshirt. And then people will be like, I wonder what that is. It means and then when people ask you, you can go suck my ass. Like imagination.
D
Okay, that's it.
C
All right. That's it for ask me some things. I'll be back after these messages from me. If you're a real one. You know, I was very reluctant to embrace minivan life, but it's been a year and I can semi confidently say I'm all in. I'm a little bit disappointed in myself
D
and how much I enjoy the two
C
at a Sienna, but I do have
D
to admit I like it.
C
We've taken the Sienna on so many trips, but I will say the best part has been being able to literally fit our entire six person family in this car. And the ridiculous things that happen in the back seat with four tiny humans. Ah, it's nuts back there. Sometimes I pretend it's not happening. I also literally cannot lie. I love the Sienna's features.
D
The vacuum. Yeah.
C
The breakfast and snacks that come along in the car, they're inevitable. I've tried to stop them and I can't. So the vacuum is unreal. The trunk space also, I can fit a double stroller easily with room for more stuff. That is what I need. If you're looking not only for a great car to get you from point A to point B, but also a space that you can basically fit your entire life into, I highly recommend the Toyota Sienna and test drive at your local Toyota dealership. You can learn more@toyota.com sienna and remember, it's not the places we go, but the people we go with that matter.
H
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B
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C
now, before we close out this episode, Queen Emma thought it'd be fun to debut a brand new segment ahead of Mother's Day. I thought it. No.
D
I should have known the other ex was in there. I should have known.
C
And I thought it'd be fun to finally make her be on camera.
E
No.
C
This is the agreement for doing a solo episode. So suck it. To Emma, introducing what to expect when you've already expected. Now, I say this all the time. People see that I have four children and ask me about parenting advice as if I know what the hell I'm doing. I don't. But since this hasn't stopped anyone from asking, I figured I'd at least attempt to answer some new parent questions as someone who has already expected four times. Don't pee in this house. Hey, don't do it. Queen Emma is a new mom to an almost two year old and asks me questions like this all the time. Queen Emma, what do you got for me today?
E
Yes, you know Simon, my two year old, Kylie and I ask you about him all the time.
C
Yes.
E
And I'm so glad.
C
Benny's his babysitter.
E
Yes, Benny is his babysitter. It makes a lot of sense. So glad that you forced me to come on today to talk about this. But I do have a lot of questions. So first question is very important. How do I get him to eat anything besides strawberries and Mac and cheese? You don't. Okay, great. Thanks. I'm glad we did this segment. I'm struggling. He doesn't eat. How do you get them to eat? It's so. It's really frustrating.
C
No, it's trash. It actually sucks. I go with offer. So if you make a plate. Offer other things, one day they might try it. They might. And that's exciting. But they're not. He's not gonna. I've. I've talked to Simon.
D
He said no. He actually said no.
C
So I would. I would try putting colorful things on the plate, whether it's orange, peppers, things like that. Where you're like, there's no chance he's gonna eat it.
D
Put it on the plate anyway.
C
Put it on the plate. Worst case scenario, you eat it on the way to the trash can. You could always cut it into pretty shapes. Although I opted out of that way early because I was just like, they're either gonna eat it or not. The other thing that I Have seen that the girls and I sometimes do is we do different size bites of things. So you can say, how big of a bite would a mouse take? And then they take a bite like a mouse. So a little nibble and then you say like, oh, was it good? And if they say yes, you say, oh, my gosh. If it's good, take a bite like an elephant. And then they, like, shove the whole
D
thing in their mouth.
C
That's what I would say about getting him to eat anything besides strawberry and Mac and cheese. I would like to point out one of my favorite stories about Simon is the fact that he got to go see his aunt get married in Italy. Queen Emma's sister was getting married, and Queen Emma brought him Easy Mac.
E
Yep.
C
And microwaved Easy Mac, Mac and cheese in Italy.
E
Tuscany.
C
Yep.
E
Yep.
D
Yes.
E
Beautiful setting. We have.
C
We the best pasta in the world.
E
Best in the world. We had to track down a microwave
C
three and a half minutes.
E
That's right.
C
Yeah.
E
He ate it.
C
Yes, he did.
E
Yeah.
C
That's what matters.
E
Great. Well, I'll try the animal bites. That could actually. That's a good tip. I appreciate that one. Yeah, he. I think I've told you this. I've told you this before, but he does love cheeseburgers. But last night he said no. He said no to cheeseburgers. I don't know. Like, what do you do when it's
C
so funny that it's strawberries, Mac and cheese and cheeseburgers? I know. I couldn't get one of my kids to eat a cheeseburger if my life depended on it. Cheese. You know, I like that he keeps
D
you on your toes.
E
Yeah.
C
He's like, you know what? I love cheeseburgers tonight. Go fuck yourself.
E
Yeah.
C
Do you know what he said last night? You said cheeseburger, and he said, suck my ass.
E
He sure did. It's like, I thought that was the sure thing. That's like, okay, we can get him to eat this. It's protein that we feel good about. Nope.
D
Be ridiculous.
E
Just like, what are you gonna eat? Okay.
C
Air. Air and strawberries.
D
Perfect.
C
Yep.
E
Okay, next one. Next one for you. He did hit me in the head with a microphone toy the other day. And you know me, you know me pretty well. I'm not the best disciplinarian. How? Gentle parenting, not involuntary dental parenting over here.
C
How.
E
How do I communicate to a 2 year old? Hey, let's maybe not hit mom.
C
Okay, first question. Did you fake cry?
E
No. I should do that. That's a good one. Okay.
C
Because even though you're not. You're an adult. So you're not gonna cry.
D
Maybe you will.
C
Depends on the day. You know, I don't know. Some days I've been like, that was my breaking point. That was the strawberry. I would. Sounds so terrible. There's going to be a population of people who are like, that's not the appropriate way to do this. And I don't know, guys. I've always said I'm not the appropriate person to ask these questions to. So that's. This is the risk you run. I would fake cry. I would start by fake crying. I would do, like, an exaggerated Ow. One of our kids, I don't remember who it was, went through a biting phase where I was getting bitten a lot. And something that I looked up said that you needed to be sort of more exaggerative in the response that you had and make it clear that you sort of respond in a way that they would respond if that were to happen to them. So if you get hit, then sort of like this. Ow. And sort of a crying situation and see if it turns out into like a I'm sorry or like a pat on the back or something like that. The other side of it is take the toy. Especially if it's a toy that they love. I know that sounds terrible, but if they just pick up a toy and hate you with it, it's like, if you take away the toy, it's not really going to have an impact. If he was playing with the microphone for quite some time or he was excited about the microphone and then he hits you on the head with it, you can take it away and just calmly explain to him that we don't hit. And if you hit, you will have your toys taken away. Even if it feels like he's not going to get that. The point of that. I still think it's important to do that because they understand the tone. And he'll probably understand it even if he ignores you. So be prepared for that. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for him to bop you, and then you just
E
be like, okay, I think I did say no. Like a puppy.
D
Good.
C
We love a firm no. Yeah, yeah.
E
But I can see it happening again. So I think this is. This is good advice.
C
Okay.
E
Thank you.
C
Maybe. Yeah. Try an owl and a cry. And also take the toy and explain why we don't do that.
E
That's good. Thank you.
C
And again, completely unqualified to provide advice to anyone.
E
Perfect. That's why I came here.
C
Good luck.
E
Thank you.
C
Good Luck. You'll need it. That's it for what to expect when you've already expected. Thank you, Queen Emma. Next time, we also want to hear from the real one. Sending your parenting questions for me at NGL with Kylie. And maybe Queen Emma will come on and read them to me. Yeah, because she loves that. Next up, the last thing on today's episode is a tradition. On an NGL solo episode, Queen Emma has prepared one of her signature pop quizzes. We've done animal trivia, Gen Z slang, pop culture twice. And today's theme is Springtime. No, you don't get to air horn that. You don't. You don't get to rally horn that. Nope.
D
I'm taking away horn purple chips.
C
And this week, the stakes are as high as ever. If I get at least no.
E
Yes.
D
No.
E
What if it was?
C
If I Get at least 6 out of 10 Get. If I Get at least 6 out of 10 questions right. This episode is 59 minutes, 59 seconds long.
D
If I fail you, mother, you're mean. You're mean.
C
This is mean. You're vic. I feel personally victimized by Queen Emma. Queen Emma gets a fresh, springy 62 minutes. I would like to have one lifeline, one phone. A friend would be great.
D
Thank you so much, puppy.
C
Don't do anything silly. Number one. On Saturday, April 30th, in the year 2011, future hall of fame center Jason Kelsey was drafted. Wow. Okay, the Philadelphia Eagles. What activity has Jason said he was doing instead of watching the draft on tv? I already know this.
D
It's C, bowling.
C
The options were A, ice skating, B, playing a video game with Travis, or C, bowling. Oh. Or D, getting his haircut into a mullet that one day his future wife would admit she secretly loved on her very own podcast.
D
No, it was C, bowling.
C
Number two. I know it is. You don't have to tell me.
E
That is correct.
C
Uhhuh. Number two. April is peak breeding season for many animals in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, including our great native birds. Which of the following is an actual native bird of Pennsylvania? I'm so mad that you didn't put the titmouse. A tufted titmouse is one of my favorite birds. I'm mad that you didn't put it on there. The options are A, black capped chicken pepper. P. Funny. B, the eastern fart fart. That is a bird my children would love. C, yellow rumped warbler or D, large breasted nut hatch. I'm going to go with D, large breasted nut hatch.
E
That is incorrect. It is The.
C
It's a yellow R. Trash. Actual trash. It's time for some spring.
D
I should have phoned a friend, and I should have called Lisa. I should have done it. I should have called my mom.
C
3. It's time for some spring cleaning. What common household item is known for its ability to get water stains out of wood?
D
Oh, easy.
C
I got this one. A, mayonnaise. B, cinnamon. C, dish soap. D, baking powder. Or E, Benny's back wash. As much as I want to say E it is D, baking powder. I know this firsthand because once upon a time, Baloo peed in the spare bedroom before we had four children. And he. We didn't know it was there, and we went in there to get something and it was. Had been under the rug. And anyone that knows a hardwood floor and moisture held onto it by a rug doesn't go well.
D
We tried baking powder, but it didn't work.
E
I believe that's it. Correct. It's. It's baking mayonnaise. I. I think you're thinking of baking soda.
D
I am thinking of baking soda.
C
What do you mean, mayonnaise? You're not putting mayonnaise on a floor. Who figured that out? Oh, my God.
D
This is a dumb game. I don't like this game.
C
It was. I was thinking baking soda, and this
D
is a dumb game.
C
Both of those things are true.
E
It's a trick question.
C
Be true.
D
At the same time. It's. Yeah.
E
Whoever writes these is really.
C
Because you want 62 minutes. Okay, I've had enough. Number four. One of the most anticipated movies of the year. The Devil Wears Prada, two stars. Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestley, editor in chief of Runway magazine. How many daughters does Meryl Streep have in real life?
D
You are a jerk.
C
I'm going with 2. I don't actually know.
E
It's incorrect. It's 3.
D
Okay, well, women's intuition is going to.
C
Right now. 5. During Coachella weekend.
E
2.
C
Headliner Sabrina Carpenter brought out multiple surprise guests during her set.
D
Name one. Madonna. Suck my ass. That is correct. Okay.
C
Yeah. No. God.
D
62 minutes, my ass.
C
The Philadelphia Flyers are currently facing the Pittsburgh Penguins in the first round of the Stanley cup playoffs. Yes. Go Flyers. What year was the Flyers mascot, Gritty first introduced? First of all, outstanding mascot. Second E. 2018.
E
That is correct.
C
I know it is. Yeah. There are other options. I'm not even going to bother reading them because they're silly. And it was 2018, and you put 2019 in there to try and dupe me. You can't on that one. Shout out to Gritty Number 7. This is so trash. What are the three spring zodiac signs? You put this in there because you know I don't pay attention to this at all. Here's the deal. Aries Taurus. I couldn't tell you what's next.
D
Let me think about it.
C
Leo.
E
Very incorrect. Leo is the summer we're looking for Gemini.
D
Okay, great.
E
Sorry.
C
No, you're not. Number eight. Rita's Water Ice famously gives out free water ice to customers on the first day of spring. Which of the following flavors has never been a real flavor at Rita's? I think it's A or D. So A is Tootsie Roll, B is Kool Aid, Sharkberry, Sharkleberry Fin. C Nerds Grape Ice, or D, Sour Patch Kids Red. The reason I don't think it's D is because Sour Patch Kid Red in particular. I think red is the problem here because they have a long standing flavor. Now that is a staple. It's not just like limited flavor. Which is Swedish fish. I feel like that's too close to Sour Patch Kids Red. Nerds. Grape Ice feels like something they would do. Cuz I don't know how many purple water ices they have. Tootsie Roll feels a little far fetched to me because they have a chocolate and I feel like if you said it was Tootsie Roll, I'd believe you. It's just a very mild chocolate flavor. It's good, I get it, but it's not like anything crazy. I don't know what the hell Sharkleberry Finn is.
D
Oh, no.
C
D, Sour Patch Kids Red.
E
Incorrect. It's Tootsie Roll.
C
To be fair, I said I was
D
between A or D. You did. Damn. Okay,
C
number nine. It's like I lost and I.
D
You're mean.
C
Yeah.
E
Do you want to finish it for.
C
Yeah, I'm gonna finish it. Number nine. It's late April, which means it's basically May, which means it's almost time for locals and shoebies alike to return to the shore. Which character from the Nickelodeon classic Rocket Power originally coined the term term shoo? The options here are A, Raymundo, B, Squid, C, Tito or D, Twister. I think it was a Raymundo because that's the dad and I would assume that it is an original term.
E
It's great thinking. I believe it's Tito. Who's Raymundo's.
C
Oh, friend. Best friend.
D
Tito. Okay, that's fair.
C
Doesn't even matter. Now we're playing for pretend. Number 10. Like many creatures Eastern box turtles. Jesus Christ. Common from Maine down to Florida. Come out of hibernation in April. Which of the following is not a name of one of Queen Emma's many childhood pet turtles? C Skipper D We did have a
E
Skipper D Shout out to Eloise Yertle Yle was not one of our turtles.
C
You know what, When I first looked at it, I was like, I feel like we've had this conversation before.
E
Yes. El Fidelphia. Famously our first.
C
I knew that already.
E
Yeah.
C
Knew it already.
E
Fun fact.
C
Knew that one. I didn't even. I didn't even stop at her. Alphadelphia. It's not. I'm not Stop.
E
Legend. Cool. Well, I guess it's a cool 62.
C
I'm so happy for you.
D
Thanks for my audio listeners.
C
My face says I'm actually not and
D
that's a big fat lie. Can confirm? Yep. Come on.
C
Come here. You want to see how I know she was playing in a box? What's that on your neck? It's tape. And that's it for this episode of Not Gonna Lie. You can find even more clips from my longer recording on my YouTube channel on more Monday I'll be she just sighed so hard like she was done with my. I'll be back next Thursday with a brand new episode. Follow us on social media at NGL with Kylie for clips and throughout the week. Listen, subscribe wherever you get your podcast. Not going to Lie is Wave Original brought to you by Blue Lemon. Thanks again to the real ones for tuning in and I'm so sorry about a solo episode.
"Kylie on ‘Cowboy Jason’ Thirst Trap, Why She Won’t Allow Sleepovers & Bennie Starting School"
Aired: April 23, 2026
In this lively solo episode, Kylie Kelce leans into her signature combination of candor, humor, and sass. She celebrates her eight-year anniversary with Jason Kelce, candidly discusses recent viral photos of “Cowboy Jason,” opens up about modern parenting choices—like her hard stance against sleepovers—and shares the poignant milestone of her daughter Bennie starting preschool. Kylie also navigates women’s clothing sizing, dating red flags, and fielding "real ones" questions in her signature no-holds-barred, real-talk style. Special guest "Queen Emma" joins for an unpolished and hilarious parenting Q&A, and fans get a sprinkle of wedding memories, Tim Tam slams, and the debut of a fresh segment ahead of Mother’s Day.
On “Cowboy Jason”:
“Jason is fine. You better hide your eyes, Jason... that man is only tipping his hat at me.” (09:30)
On Parenting Emotions:
“I talked about it relentlessly... I was the one that was not okay and she was not the one that was not okay.” (12:14)
Clothing Sizing Truth:
“Who gives a what number’s on your tag?... The only time your tag is going to be viewable is when that clothing is off of you... in a non-platonic situation, no one is checking your tag, if you catch my drift.” (19:03)
On Modern Dating:
“Women are tired. They’re tired of your shit. ... Trust your gut. Because women’s intuition, you know?” (22:22, 24:39)
On Sleepovers:
“No, my kids are not going for sleepovers. I will let them stay for all the activities and then I’ll pick you up to go to bed.” (33:08)
On Tim Tam Slam:
“You use it like a straw... Not only does it come up the Tim Tam, but then it melts the chocolate and the cookies.” (35:47)
On Kids’ Eating Habits:
“Offer other things. One day they might try it. But I’ve... talked to Simon. He said no. He actually said no.” (47:54)
Queen Emma’s Discipline Question:
“How do I communicate to a 2-year-old: hey, let’s maybe not hit mom?” (50:39)
On Maintaining Friendships:
“I got nothing. If you have tips for me, can you tell me?” (39:30)
Kylie brings her trademark wit, honesty, and irreverence. Even as she dives into vulnerable parenting topics and social issues, she keeps things light with banter, self-deprecation, and interactive segments. Her refusal to sugar-coat—whether about motherhood, body image, or marriage—remains central, with “Queen Emma” matching her energy for memorable, unscripted moments. The episode is a strong showcase of Kylie’s unique voice and her community’s affection for her blend of empathy, humor, and bluntness.
This episode is an ideal entry point—real, raw, funny, and full of diverse topics (from viral memes to heartfelt advice). It highlights why Kylie Kelce’s “Not Gonna Lie” stands out: authentic, unpredictable, and a comfort for anyone exhausted by fake perfection in family, media, or modern life.