1: GETTING DUMPED OVER TEXT!?!? How Many RED FLAGS Are Too Many?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Not Loveline Episode: 1: GETTING DUMPED OVER TEXT!?!? How Many RED FLAGS Are Too Many?
Release Date: November 25, 2024
Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trish Paytas
Produced by: Audioboom Studios

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1. Introduction

The inaugural episode of Not Loveline kicks off with hosts Tana Mongeau and Trish Paytas introducing themselves and setting the tone for the show. Emphasizing their lack of formal expertise, they highlight their extensive personal experiences in love, sex, and dating as the foundation for their advice.

Notable Quote:

• Tana Mongeau: “Not Loveline. Because we are not experts.” (00:01:52)

2. Show Concept and Synergy

Tana and Trish delve into the genesis of their collaboration, reminiscing about their time at Cancel Live and their mutual excitement to create a unique advice show. They express enthusiasm about engaging directly with their audience through voice memos and future live calls, aiming to provide a fresh, millennial perspective on relationship dilemmas.

Notable Quote:

• Trish Paytas: “I just think it's, so exciting to hear a little bit of the voice memos that everyone has been sending in.” (00:03:20)

3. Main Topic: Red Flags in Relationships

The central theme of the episode revolves around identifying and assessing red flags in romantic relationships. Tana and Trish discuss what constitutes a red flag, how many are too many, and differentiate between manageable quirks and deal-breakers.

Subsections:

a. Defining Red Flags

The hosts explore various behaviors and traits that signal potential issues in a relationship, such as significant age gaps, controlling behavior, and lack of emotional maturity.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “If a guy had a tattoo of his ex's name, I would think that's a hot red flag.” (00:24:10)
• Tana Mongeau: “I feel like three is good. If there's more than three, like, you need to chill with the red flags.” (00:25:30)

b. Examples of Red Flags

Tana and Trish provide specific examples of red flags, discussing scenarios like dating significantly older individuals, partners who isolate their significant others, and those who exhibit controlling or manipulative behaviors.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “They are trying to isolate you and make you block everyone.” (00:19:00)
• Tana Mongeau: “If someone stabbed you, like, don't date them.” (00:34:59)

4. Listener Call: Helping a Friend in a Toxic Relationship (00:11:00 - 00:21:50)

A concerned friend reaches out seeking advice on how to help another friend who is entangled with a manipulative and abusive older man. The couple discusses strategies for supporting the friend, emphasizing the importance of being present, recognizing abusive patterns, and encouraging professional help.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “You deserve better and you clearly know it. So you got to make that leap.” (00:34:20)
• Tana Mongeau: “He's the ultimate loser. Just kept getting worse and worse.” (00:21:50)

5. Listener Call: Dating Intentions and Emotional Connection (00:36:05 - 00:47:38)

A listener grapples with feeling undervalued in her relationship, where her boyfriend becomes defensive when she seeks more emotional and physical connection. Tana and Trish offer insights on communication, compatibility, and the importance of mutual desire in sustaining a healthy relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “If you try and exhaust all communication and still not getting that, you might have to think there's someone out there that you genuinely connect with.” (00:39:05)
• Tana Mongeau: “You deserve that and you don't want to perform all the time.” (00:40:36)

6. Listener Call: Navigating Relationships with Children and Exes (00:51:06 - 00:55:02)

A young listener is torn between dating her ex and a new partner who has a child. The hosts discuss the complexities of dating someone with existing family responsibilities, the emotional toll of lingering connections with exes, and the importance of prioritizing one’s well-being.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “You deserve better and you don't have to push yourself into something that's not fulfilling.” (00:53:54)
• Tana Mongeau: “You're too young, and you don't want to go in and out of a child's life.” (00:54:43)

7. Listener Call: Partner Dreaming of Others (00:56:20 - 00:59:33)

A listener expresses concern over her fiancé repeatedly saying another person's name in his sleep. Tana and Trish discuss trust, the subconscious nature of dreams, and healthy ways to address insecurities without resorting to invasive actions like checking phones.

Notable Quotes:

• Tana Mongeau: “It could be anyone. Like, your first-grade teacher or a character from a show.” (00:59:27)
• Trish Paytas: “Just let it go. They’re literally sleeping.” (00:58:59)

8. Conclusion and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Tana and Trish reflect on the discussions, acknowledge the emotional weight of the topics, and express excitement for future episodes. They tease upcoming segments on their Patreon, promising more explicit and in-depth advice for their dedicated listeners.

Notable Quotes:

• Trish Paytas: “We're bringing Dr. Drew for an episode.” (00:29:00)
• Tana Mongeau: “If you guys want more, we'll give you more on Patreon.” (00:68:37)

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Key Insights and Takeaways

• Recognizing Red Flags: It's crucial to identify and evaluate red flags early in relationships to prevent long-term emotional harm.

• Communication is Key: Open and honest conversations about needs and expectations can help address discrepancies in relationships.

• Self-Worth Matters: Understanding and valuing one’s own worth is essential in making informed decisions about who to date and stay with.

• Support Systems: Friends and family play a vital role in supporting individuals in toxic relationships, but professional help is often necessary.

• Navigating Complex Relationships: Dating someone with children or dealing with ex-partners requires careful consideration of personal and familial boundaries.

Conclusion

The debut episode of Not Loveline sets a relatable and candid tone, with Tana Mongeau and Trish Paytas offering unfiltered advice drawn from their personal experiences. By addressing real-life relationship challenges and fostering open dialogue, the hosts aim to create a supportive community for listeners navigating the complexities of love and dating.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Tana Mongeau]

Ah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, thank you.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

How did you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

And spontaneously written songs of joy.

[Trisha Paytas]

I so happy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

Like, if a guy had a tattoo of his ex's name, I would think that's a hot red flag.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's the oldest you dated? What's the biggest age gap you've dated?

[Devon]

And she's been saying this name in her sleep.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like the same name all the time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Hello.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my gosh. Welcome to the Tana and Trish podcast.

[Trisha Paytas]

Holy. Okay, sorry for swearing immediately, but, like, we did it.

[Tana Mongeau]

We did it.

[Trisha Paytas]

We did it. Welcome to Not Loveline, guys.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not Loveline. Because we are not experts.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes, we are not experts.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're not pretending to be. But, you know, yeah, we should probably.

[Trisha Paytas]

Just say all of that, like, hey, at least for me, like, don't take any of my advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

For sure.

[Trisha Paytas]

At all.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're not Dr. Drew. Yes. You know what I mean? But we are. We. I feel like we have the experience. You know what I mean? The real life, 100% millennial experience. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

We just. We have been through a lot of. I do feel like our takes on things are different than the average person.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think so too. I think you give, like, real takes. Okay, so I was super excited. I literally voice memo Tiana two days after I went to the Cancel Live. And they did a segment at the end call, like, hotline. And you and I always, always like, like, I just think it's like, so boring in general when people do that. Right. When you talk to the crowd. Oh, my God, that's so boring. But when I saw you guys do it, Tana was just so quick and funny, and I was just like, staring at her like, I had no advice to get because I was just so in awe of how good and funny and fast you were.

[Trisha Paytas]

You are so sweet.

[Tana Mongeau]

So you, like, let me take advantage of this because we've been talking about it for so long and we didn't want to do something like just Trish or canceled. And I was like, wait, this is. I had, like, this epiphany and I was just like, oh. And you guys know I love Dr. Drew and I'm old. So I remember Love line.

[Trisha Paytas]

There she goes.

[Tana Mongeau]

What did you compare it to? Or you compared it to some. It was like a new, newer Gen Z. I'm trying to think, what did you compare it to? Girl code. Girl code?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, literally, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I like, googled and I was like, what's girl code? So like, that's like, not my generation. But at the end of the day.

[Trisha Paytas]

Though, I do just think, like, this is such a fun and unique topic for us and it's not going to take away from our shows. And I'm excited even just hearing a little bit of the voice memos that everyone has been sending in over like.

[Tana Mongeau]

1700 that's people call crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, just in the future being able to give people topics and like, just talking to our fans too. We don't get to do that enough on, like, our shows. And like, I'm so excited to give horrible advice. I'm hoping at least your advice is good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your advice is real. I like it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm gonna give advice from my perspective and just so are you. And I just think that I'm so excited for the future of this show and it's gonna be so fun and easy.

[Tana Mongeau]

I can't wait. I'm so excited too. I love, like, 90s shows. It was very, like, singled out, like, those kind of shows I like, miss. And I was just like, the fun vibe, the cute vibe. Like, again, like, no drama, fun. I do feel too, like, you know, I've gone through so many men, women people, and I'm like, oh, I finally kind of figured out how to have, like, a normal relationship. So this show is. That is relationship, dating, love. But then we're going to have our Patreon, which I secure that name already. Patron.com. not Loveline.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. God, she's doing everything. I'm serious. She's cleaning out for not.

[Tana Mongeau]

I took over a little bit because I know you're really busy, and I was just like, okay, let me just, like, get a set.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you also have the vision, like, if I had to build this set.

[Tana Mongeau]

To be so telling you the truth.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, canceled is just a couch in my, like, dirty upstairs.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's relatable.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is just so. Everything is so beautiful. Only girls and gays working on the team.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's the usual. Earlier we had, like, maybe like 10 people in here, and they were just, like, hyping it up so much. Everyone was so excited.

[Trisha Paytas]

Girls, like, and it was amazing.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was amazing. It was really fun. And hopefully we'll manifest. I don't know. We're saying, like, it's like late night talk show vibes, you know, this is, like, where it's at.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. See, and I love that about you. Even I am manifesting, like, big things from this. I think it's so good, too, when you give you and me almost, like, a topic to stay on.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And, like, we won't get canceled from this show, which is great. We're.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we're trying the not canceled. Should we not cancel podcasts?

[Trisha Paytas]

I think we're both literally realizing that we're in such a wholesome era of our lives. And you're right, like, almost using all the up that we've been through to help other girls and gays and Maze who listen to us. Like, you know, just not that I think I'm holier than thou, but just, like, I, you know, I want everyone to be on the right path for sure.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I feel like you don't get, like, that honesty unless you do have, like, an older sister. And even then you, like, don't get that honesty as you would from, like. Like us. I feel like we're, like, very honest and open, even if it's embarrassing, because I've done a lot of embarrassing things.

[Trisha Paytas]

But.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I think it's, you know, learn and trial and also, like, you don't have to take our advice, but we.

[Trisha Paytas]

Love to give our advice. But I do feel like anytime anyone comes up to me, too, and tells me that they love you or they love you and me, they're always like, I just wish I could call you and ask you for advice and tell you about my day. And it's like, this is what this feels like. So it's like, I'm so excited and it's like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, honestly, Devon, our producer, was saying, like, we could get, like, live calls eventually. Like, we can, like, talk back and for which is so fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I'VE never done anything like this with my fans, and I just, like, I'm so excited. And the people who love and support both of us are always just, like, my favorite. Like, they're so fun and funny, and I'm so excited.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am so excited to get the original Loveline. They used to, like, take calls, and it was, like, so fun because, like, you could have a back and forth, like, ask questions more about it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I am so. That almost to me feels like, what's your. The drive through moment? The iconic where you're like, what? Okay. Like, I'm so excited to see, like, the real time calls.

[Tana Mongeau]

But that's what you. And I think that's where you, like, thrive is again. At the live show, you were just so quick. I was like, oh, my God. I couldn't even, like, gather a sentence. And you were, like, already done with it.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're like, okay, spew whatever comes out of my brain. Sometimes it's scary. But listen, not love line. You're going to see it all.

[Tana Mongeau]

Definitely not love line. Yeah. So anyways, because we get, like, right into it, I am super excited. Oh, also, like, I said, this was, like, love dating. And then our Patreon. Did I mention that? Spicy. It's spicy over there. Patreon questions.

[Trisha Paytas]

We are going to be answering all the dirty questions because it's like, I struggle even not saying dirty in general. So I can't imagine if someone's asking me about trying to keep that pg. So that's. And that's just a perfect concept for the Patreon, too. I'm so excited.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's 18 plus over there, so it'll be. And I love talking, like, raunchy, too. I mean, I'm a mom now, but I'm like, behind a paywall. It's cute because I still, like, love it. I still love for it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Me too. I agree. Like, we definitely want to talk. See, I was gonna say, like, but I can't say that over here.

[Tana Mongeau]

But we want to talk about Patreon.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Like, all the crazy stuff like that over there. And I'm so excited. We've definitely lived 100 lives, and we're gonna finally put that to use over here at Not Loveline.

[Tana Mongeau]

I can't believe we're doing. I'm, like, looking at you, I'm like, this is crazy. It's so fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

I got to the set today and I actually cried. I didn't think I was going to cry. And then I, like, really was like, wow. Like, because we. You and I have Been talking about this for damn near, like, I could arguably say years now.

[Tana Mongeau]

Years. I mean, we've known each other or of each other for like a decade. Like, I mean, it's crazy to see like this happening and this. All the steps it took to get here for.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it feels so right. I think that's why I cried because we had so many other ideas, but it just, it was like, yeah, we could do that. But it didn't feel. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Just come easily.

[Trisha Paytas]

And the times of our life. I'm about to be her damn near neighbor. Like, I'm so.

[Tana Mongeau]

It just made sense.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Like, I'm so grateful that you aren't suffering through doing this with like 23 year old me. This is correct timing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And you were. She was so on time. Like, so on time. And I was like, wait, you're like a new Tana.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm just happy and I'm so excited about this. Like, if I ever this up, I would have to move to Nebraska and reflect for at least a decade. Like, this means so much to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

It means so much to me. For real. I'm really excited. And I love. I love us together.

[Trisha Paytas]

And this is just like our little baby. Like, it's. We literally, it's like we had a baby from all of our ideas and shows and here it is and we.

[Tana Mongeau]

Don'T know where it's going or anything because we don't even have like, ads or anything. We're just like, I don't know, we're just figuring it out as we go. We're like, we had our people talk and we're like, let's just throw it up and see what happens. See if people even like it. And if not, we'll still keep doing it even if no one watches.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Honestly, it's. That's, that's what's perfect is we hope people like it. But at the same time, like, I'm just so excited to personally do this with you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, it feels like playing dress up and having fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I know. I love it. We're wearing our matching metallic outfits today.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I never wear anything cute on canceled, ever. I'm always wearing like stained sweatpants. So this is fun that I'm gonna finally get into the Trisha cosplay dress up Lore. You look beautiful.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you. So do you. I love dressing up with girls. It's so fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

Me too. It's literally. I think it heals our inner child.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. It's like we said that when we're doing the photos out in my garage. Like, literally, like, it was like senior class photos. And I was like, oh, this is like.

[Trisha Paytas]

And we both never wanted to be.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, never. And I never had, like, the friend to do it with. I was like, wow, this feels so good. I love.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not love, not love. We're literally here. But I love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love you too. I'm so excited.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Life's busy. Time's precious. You might be doubling down by working out while listening to this podcast. Next time, make your workout work harder with a LifePro Fitness waver vibration plate. You'll feel your muscles contracting faster, resulting in improved flexibility, stronger muscles, and even lymphatic drainage. Listeners get up to 50% off for a limited time and always. Free shipping. Get your waiver vibration plate by visiting meet.lifeprofitness.com pod hey guys, it is Ryan.

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[Trisha Paytas]

No purchase necessary. VGW Group void we're prohibited by law. 18/ Terms and Conditions apply. Should we just, like, hear a voice?

[Tana Mongeau]

Let's get to the calls. I am so excited. I've never taken calls. I'm so.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is. This is like, so different than anything we've ever done.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. It feels like I'm like living like my like, dream when I was like, in the 90s and like, I hear these phone calls, I'm like, oh my God, I want to answer questions too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you for wanting to do it with me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you for doing it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I will never. It'll be 10 years from now and I will, like, remember I was laying next to Makoa and I played that voice memo and like, it felt like everything just everything happens for a reason. I, like, got up screaming. He was still asleep and I had to like, go in the other room and like, scream and freak out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, that's so cool. That makes me so happy. I'm glad we did it. And two weeks later, here we are. Literally.

[Trisha Paytas]

But that's all you, girl. This would have taken me a year. All Year.

[Tana Mongeau]

All right, first phone call. Do you just place how this works?

[Trisha Paytas]

And thank you to everyone who called. I guess.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, we'll say the phone number at the end or should we say it now?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh yeah, we put on the screen. Call this number.

[Trisha Paytas]

Call this number for all of your love, sex, dating and life advice from Tammy. That's interesting.

[Tana Mongeau]

We should record a little voice. Do we have a voice greeting thing on it?

[Trisha Paytas]

I think it's him. Oh, the voice greeting is him right now. But we should make it joy when.

[Tana Mongeau]

They call the house, like, hi, this is Trish.

[Trisha Paytas]

We'll get there.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is Tana.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Devon]

Okay, okay, let's just get straight to it. My best friend, she's 21, she's been dating this 46 year old man since last January. And when this was when she was 20, mind you. She met him at work as a server at a restaurant. Basically a month into their relationship, I had no idea they had been dating. I only knew that she was like sleeping with him. All right, whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

But me and everyone else in her.

[Devon]

Life, her whole family, her brother, who she lived with at the time for like three months. So none of us hear from her. Time to find out. This man fully had a roommate at the age of 45 and his full time job is serving. So there's no money to be made off of it. Nothing, nothing special about him.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know he has no headboard.

[Devon]

Delete all of her contacts, block all of our numbers and then all of her social medias and then officially change her number. So at this point she was living with him. She finally told me that she had been seeing him since January and that he has gotten her drunk, told her she's a horrible person. Been on her whole. Mind you, he had the record and has done time in jail.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, it's just getting worse.

[Devon]

Cute. Basically her age.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, he has a kid.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

Already there's like so much, there's so many ebbs and story.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so sad too that it's like her friend calling in like for her.

[Tana Mongeau]

How do we get our friend back? How do we get her out of this? How do we let her go?

[Trisha Paytas]

Sad because it's like obviously like we've all been with the narcissistic guy who's like trying to isolate you and make you block everyone. And yeah, it seems like her friend is in that situation and it's like you just want to shake. I like, I wish I could go back to 21 year old me and be like these Men, these older men, how.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's the oldest you dated? What's the biggest age gap you've dated?

[Trisha Paytas]

When I was 20, in my early 20s, I definitely had moments with people who were in their, like, close to their 40s.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yikes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And then I'm trying to think if I've ever hooked up with someone older. Probably.

[Tana Mongeau]

But not.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's good.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's not bad. I mean, but 30s and 20s is like if, like if they're close to 40 and you're in young 20s.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I think an oldie that I wanted never just like, came my way because, like, had, like. You know what I mean? Like, even back in the Hugh Hefner days when that was cool, would you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have been with you Hefner?

[Trisha Paytas]

I think If I was 21 and there was like a 70 year old man, but he was like iconic and hot, I would have done it with something to offer.

[Tana Mongeau]

But this guy has nothing to offer. I mean, I mean, I guess that's mean to say. She's like, oh, he's like. Has nothing to offer. But I mean, I guess he has like a place for her to live. That's something to offer.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. But 45 with a roommate and like, it's like, girl, at least.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just. Least the roommate thing is almost like.

[Trisha Paytas]

At least you have like a hottie that you can like, maybe manipulate better.

[Tana Mongeau]

They can't manipulate them. That's why. That's why they go for those young ones. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Which is so that's the thing. And it's like, it's hard because I think at the time I had to live through a lot of that. No one could tell me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean? Like, just like everyone can be like, this guy is so much older than you. Like, it's clear this is bad. And I'm like, nobody is different.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Or they think they're mature for their age. Like, I'm mature for my age. That's why I only date people in their 50s. When I was in my 20s, and I always thought, like, I'm just mature and like, that's that. But it's like, yeah, but girl, you're just traumatized.

[Trisha Paytas]

You got daddy issues.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I feel like you just save yourself so much time if you just know. Like, if someone would tell me, like, don't ever date someone in their 50s when you're in your 20s, because they're just using you for something, one something or another. I would have saved me so much time because I like wasted my 20s, basically.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, I think everything happens for A reason. And you are absolutely slaying. That makes me so sad to hear because I just think everything you did in your 20s was so iconic.

[Tana Mongeau]

Definitely wasn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I mean to me. But it is. That is just like. I'm trying to put this into words. It's like if A guy is 50 and has to date a 21 year old.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

What is wrong with his emotional development?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

That he has to date down so much. And it's like I feel like I learned a lot of that too. It's like you almost think like I'm going to date older because they're wiser and smarter. The amount of 50 year old men stuck in an 18 year old man's body with the navy blue fitted sheet, no headboard or goals or aspirations is nuts.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know, I see that. It was like these guys that get older and older and they still date younger and younger. Especially influencers. Like people who are dating like, you know, 20 year olds are still dating 20 year olds, but they're like aging and it's like, that's disgusting. And he's like young girls, I guess they just. I don't know. I get it. I get the infatuation, but.

[Trisha Paytas]

And what does that say about his self esteem? Like those men's self esteem, if they're like I'm so dumb and emotionally immature that I have to date someone, oh, 30 years less like, you know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Secure. Yeah. They're super insecure people their own age. That's like if you can't match with someone your own age or something like wrong with you. If you're like genuinely there with a 20 year old, I'll never understand. It's like that. I don't know, like I don't, you know, who's a big. Well anyways, I know what you were.

[Trisha Paytas]

Gonna say, but that's so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was like, let's not wait.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Oh my God. See, and here we are getting controversial.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like a controversy. I guess it's fine. Like it's not even like anything controversial. He's very open about it. But like Dave Portnoy dates like always younger girls. And I think Brianna just straight up asked him and was like, why are you always dating young girls? And he's like, oh, those are just the people. I mean it's like, like, okay, that's not why. Like there's like a reason and maybe. And I actually don't blame Dave Portnoy because he doesn't want to be committed. He doesn't have children. So it's like he wants to have fun. It's just more of like the girls I think start like it seems they seem to catch feelings and maybe like want to get married and hope they.

[Trisha Paytas]

Can change him and stuff like that. And you just have to know 21 is also just crazy. Like you're going to turn 25 and your frontal lobe is going to snap.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you're going to be like Wait, you're 26 now?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And don't you think you like changed so much in even like three years like do it 23 versus now genuinely.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's, it's, it's, it's been studied. I think here I am saying facts that I don't know about. Like that your frontal lobe actually fully develops when you're 25. And for me it weird, it was genuinely like a light switch. Like I didn't give a about any of that. Like all of those things. I would date older. I would do so many things where I wasn't respecting myself fully and like whatever and I just woke up and a light switch flipped and I was like wait, yeah, I have to change everything am I doing?

[Tana Mongeau]

And it doesn't. The 25 is that age. That's why I've always said like 25. Date a 60 year old if you want. I mean whatever. But below that I think the guy is just, just know the manipulation of it all.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's hard to tell someone when they're 21. Like hey, this all means nothing. You need to have fun because at the time you feel like it, it's a the end of the world and everything means so much. But like you will look back and be like this. That meant nothing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And it's such a blip unless you find like the love of your life like your high school sweetheart and you're gonna like marry that person. It's like different but all the other stuff. Yeah. Don't waste your time too much on it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Let's see her question the high school.

[Trisha Paytas]

Sweetheart people blow my mind because he.

[Devon]

Got kicked out of his last apartment for punching his roommate for hunting the rent in full by herself, bought all the furniture and bought him a dog. He basically has made her quit her previous job in order to stay away from other guys too. And since then she's not been like allowed to have another job if there's another guy working there. And this is a whole year long leak anyways. She barely keeps in contact with me and her parents at this point. She's only allowed to hang out with Me for, like, a few hours at a time and absolutely no overnight. So I try to tell her, like, open her eyes. She got a therapist. Her therapist has tried to tell her, her parents, too, but nothing seems to work. So what do you think I should do?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, what you do?

[Devon]

Is this the kind of situation that she needs to handle it, like herself and find out like, that?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, this is sad.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's a really sad one. I just want to say you to her. She's a great friend. And it's hard to be the friend I've been in both, you know, where I'm doing that to all my friends. And it's sad, but it's also very hard to, like, watch your friend. It's clear he's just, like, trying to isolate her. Like, narcissistically isolate her so hard. And it's, like, working.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. This is why I love you. Because I've only been the person that's, like, with the older man, and, like, just, like, I don't care give a about my friends. So I like that about you because I honestly was just, like, I was that girl, and I feel like she just, like, ultimately has to learn about it. And, like, I've been that girl, and it's like, I just think it's like, the guys have to do something so cold to her, and she's just gonna be, like, so sad about it and so depressed. I think the best thing you do as, like, a friend is, like, still be there after she's, like, gone through this. Like. But no, it hasn't worked out. Like, friends don't stay around for me, but.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, I will always say I love you, but no, this one is like, yeah, it's very sad because it's like, yeah, as a friend, just. I mean, stick around and just know that she is a victim of emotional right now. And, like, that's really sad. It's. It is. And just to all the girls out there watching, if you are ever in a situation where you are not allowed to do something by a man that he's not. And you know what I mean? He's not even paying your bills, even if he is. Whatever. The, like, someone who really loves you will not disallow you to do things you love and will be secure enough to do what you love. You know what I mean? And it's like, I dated people who were, like, didn't want me to have a podcast or of or even just stuff like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, what did you do?

[Trisha Paytas]

It depended on just who I Was with.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you stop? Did you. Were you ever like, okay, yeah, I.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was dating a guy and he was like, if you make an of, like, I'm breaking up with you. And we were deep. And I said, see ya. Which is crazy, like, looking back. And then he came back years later and he was like, you were so smart. You were ahead of the wave. And I was like, yeah, wow.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've always put my life on hold for everybody. I've always been like, all my early 20s, it's like you never saw me anywhere. I was just like waiting for a guy to call me.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, it's hard because you, you think that's love. You really do. You're like, they just want the best for me. They just even like, he's so jealous because he loves me so much that I can't, you know, work this job and be around other guys. But like, someone who really loves you would want you to have your dream job and be around a million guys and be proud and secure that you are theirs. And I hope she gets out of it and I hope she will find it. And I hope that geriatric loser gets. It's funny because it's like, it's not geriatric at all if he was a good guy, but he's geriatric. He's. He's geriatric because he's a freak. So let's see what else we've got.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Next question. So sorry. That is awful. You have to like, let her have her own path. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you are a great friend and yeah, I have faith that you guys will come back together.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, that guy was like the ultimate loser. Just kept getting worse and worse. He's like, he punched his roommate. He has no furniture. Like, Jesus. Yeah, girls are really blinded and it's.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like these men live with mommy issues forever. Like, he probably wants her 21 year old, fresh out of the womb to literally be his like, mommy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's what messed up about it. It's like they want this like, young girl to take care of them. It's like so weird. I always had guys do that too. They're like, can you cook? Can you do this? And I was like trying to cook 20. I was like, you're 50.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do I literally change your diaper? Like, what's up?

[Tana Mongeau]

They will have to soon.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Oh my God. And that's only worth it if he's like, nice. And you're in your bag. I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You have to be in the bag for that one.

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[Tana Mongeau]

Should we listen to more?

[Devon]

How many red flags is too many red flags? Love y'all.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow, that was short and sweet.

[Trisha Paytas]

That ADHD ate that one up.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love it. Honestly, I do love a red flag. I'm not gonna lie. It's like, there's something exciting about Red flags. I was collect. I have a song called Red Flags. Actually not to promote my own music.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do it. Stream it now. Not kidding, not kidding. Malibu needs a Bentley babe. Not king at all. These are the types that we need. Like that. That. That is the dream. That is the dream. Voice Memo. Seriously, that's great.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that. How many red flags are too many?

[Trisha Paytas]

Because I get what you're saying. There are hot red flags. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, okay, what's. I don't know, but they're. What's a hot red. Like my hot red flag was that where it's like, oh, he wants me all to himself. But like, that's not obviously a hot red flag. What's a hot one?

[Trisha Paytas]

That's like, if a guy had a tattoo of his ex's name, I would think that's a hot red flag. Because I'd be like, you were so into it and passionate. It couldn't be his only tattoo. But if it was one of his tattoos and he had, like, Samantha on his arm, I'd be like, oh, you were so passionate. You're in love with me. Like me next. You know, like, ooh, no, you get.

[Tana Mongeau]

Tattoo someone's name on your body. I'm like, what wrong with you? That's A weird red. That's the biggest red flag I'd be. Absolutely not. What? I don't know, like, Stacy. You know, like that person, and you just see Stacy over and over. Like, it'd be so weird.

[Trisha Paytas]

But, yeah, I make him cover it up, probably as I got serious.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

My ex one time got my name tattooed on him, and he posted it. And then two weeks later, we fought and he covered it up with a bullet and he posted. Dodged a bullet.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's clever.

[Trisha Paytas]

But how cruel.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's, like, artistic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it is. It was.

[Tana Mongeau]

I kind of love that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel like how many red flags are. To me, I feel like three. If there's more than three. Like, everyone has red flags, right? But it's like, sometimes they're not, you know, sometimes you can work past them. Sometimes they're not real. Sometimes they're like, you know, a little orangey. Like, you don't know if it's red or not.

[Trisha Paytas]

I agree.

[Tana Mongeau]

I agree.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I think that everyone has their, like, fatal flaw, right? Like, all your best friends, all the people that you love, everyone has that one thing that you wish you could maybe change, but other than that, you love them and you accept it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, no one's going to be perfect. You know what I mean? But I think even if you're going to stay and keep seeing the red flags, at least be mindful. Like, be aware. Write it down. Think about it. Like, don't just. Because I feel like you always look back and you're like, oh, that was a red flag. And I thought about it, but I pushed it. I pushed it under the rug and I kept it pushing. Like, at least just be aware. And, like, your gut is usually right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, did you have any red flags with m.

[Trisha Paytas]

Red flags?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think you maybe scared. You even. You're like, oh, my God, this is, like, a lot.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not really. I think that literally. No. And that's kind of why I went, like, super ahead first. He's just way more, like, chill and, like, goes with the flow, patient, like, calm, easy life. And I was. It was almost a red flag to me because I was scared that my life was too chaotic.

[Tana Mongeau]

You were the red flag.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Yeah, literally.

[Tana Mongeau]

So there's that, like, wait, you talk about your life on the Internet, like. Yeah, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, he really doesn't have any red flags. Flags. I'm trying to think maybe just too chill to a fault sometimes, but, like, in a good way.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's not bad. I think Moses. Red flags were his cats are you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not a cat person.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, okay. Can I tell you, he did not have cats when I first met him, But I remember he took in all the alley cats. He had, like, hundreds of cats in his alley, and he would take them in. Maybe people think this is endearing. I thought it was a red flag. I was like, wait, why are you taking all the alley cats? And then one got pregnant, and then he started taking care. And so when Moses's cats became a thing, everyone's like, oh, my God, she made him get rid of those cats. When we met, he didn't have cats. But, like, two months into it, all of a sudden he's like, yeah, like, I don't know. What do you call it? Harboring cats? What do you do? Raising cats? I don't know what it is.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, Peter.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, and he was giving him. He gave one to, like, my makeup artist. He was giving them, like. Like, I guess adopting them or whatever.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was kind of a metaphor, though. Like, you were like his cute little alley cat.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, okay. Like, he's in the streets. When he found me.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was definitely Mako's alley cat. Like, he took me off the streets.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was in my hardcore when I met Moses. It was like a trashy little alley. Not that Ally cats are trashy. They're fine. But she was pregnant a lot. That cat got pregnant, what, 20 times. That cat was pregnant all the time. Jealous. Funny.

[Trisha Paytas]

Red flag. Is it?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know if that is maybe.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, but that. That is, like, just so funny that you were like. But I honestly, I would think twice about it, too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, you know, man, you know, you're like, wow, all these cats love these.

[Trisha Paytas]

Cats more than me.

[Tana Mongeau]

He did. I remember the Easters. I have to go home and take care of my pregnant cat. I was like, okay. I was like, the other woman.

[Trisha Paytas]

Have fun with her. Yeah, have fun with Whiskers.

[Tana Mongeau]

They were all ocean. It was like ocean, river, rain. They were all like, water, I love you. Yeah, red flag there. I was like, oh, my God. Liking water too much. I was like. He was like, really? In. Anyways, I don't want to do a whole Moses red flags.

[Trisha Paytas]

How did we get these men that love water like this, though?

[Tana Mongeau]

Does McCall?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Literally. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Really do. Jonathan Bailey just did a whole thing about loving water. Anyways, we're getting so sidetracked, but I.

[Trisha Paytas]

Guess water is like water and it's calm. It's like, you know, it's always moving. Because why do we love, like, City Lights?

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally? Yeah, we love Smog. We're in the valley now. There won't be any smog here. God, you can breathe again. So I would say three. I think if there's more than three, you need to chill with the red flags.

[Trisha Paytas]

I agree. And just be, be mindful and maybe write down your non negotiables, you know, like these things I will not tolerate and like stick to that. You'll save yourself a lot there. But I do think people can have manageable red flags for sure.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or you learn to like love those red flags.

[Trisha Paytas]

So true.

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe I'm getting red flags wrong, but if I'm not, then three is good. Ok.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think you're hitting the nail on the head.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes, Ms. Dr. Drew. No. You're honestly killing.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're bringing Dr. Jaron for an episode. You know, I always try to get a podcast. Dr. Drew. I was like, we should do a podcast. We do podcast. And he comes on just trash all the time. But I can never name down for this. I was like, well, whatever. I'm starting not love line with him.

[Trisha Paytas]

On and it'll be funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. He's so fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

I have no idea. He might not.

[Tana Mongeau]

He's so sweet. He drives so far. He's like two hours away and drives. He's so sweet. Yeah, it's so sweet.

[Trisha Paytas]

He would definitely give better advice. I love how long it takes us to answer one question. No, this is awesome though.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I think we're killing it. Let us know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I hope so too. It's our first episode, so just exciting and I'm nervous. It's like me giving advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's always me being like we're killing it. And then I completely miss the mark. But I hope so.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Same.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm giving like dating advice. I'm like, if he has cats, leave him. This is the worst advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

But just two dumb telling each other.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, that should have been the podcast. Two dumb.

[Trisha Paytas]

Honestly, I was thinking like, no, I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love everything.

[Devon]

Hi, Tana. Hi, Trish.

[Trisha Paytas]

Hi.

[Devon]

This Ashley goes through. I would love some dating advice. My past has mostly been homeless men that stabbed me.

[Trisha Paytas]

What did she say that stabbing?

[Tana Mongeau]

She said homeless men that have stabbed her in drug.

[Trisha Paytas]

I actually have a lot to say about this already. Okay, but should we hear the rest? If she's getting stabbed 10 seconds in. Like, I need to know who stabbed me. Tell my friend who stabbed you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was just thinking the unhoused part, but I was like, oh my God. Okay, that's. Wow. Okay.

[Devon]

Drug addicts and drug Dealers. So I'm sure you guys know and can, like, get me on the right direction for a makoa or a murder. It would mean the world. Like, what flipped in your mind for you? Like, I need to get these dusty men off of me, please.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love you Dusty, and I know.

[Devon]

It, but I just. I only like, literally the worst ones. Help me change my brain.

[Tana Mongeau]

What did you guys think?

[Devon]

I love you guys so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

Help me change my brain.

[Devon]

It would be so cool.

[Trisha Paytas]

First of all, I just love her so much. I want to give her a hug.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's always like, the nicest, best girls that just get, like, roped into these men's because they know. They know. They're, like, playing on how sweet they are.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like, you know what I think it is, in my opinion, like, dating men, like, that is. And it took me so long to realize it's, like, too hard. It's a form of, like, self harm.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, like, absolutely. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean? And I, like, wouldn't come to terms with that for so long. Like, it. But it's like, if you are stooping down to their level, you are, whether you say it or not. And I fought this so hard. Everyone would be like, you dating him. You're stooping down to his level. And I was like, no, I just like him. He's different. But you, you inadvertently are.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You are saying, this is what I'm worth and you don't even realize it. And it might be something that your childhood conditioned you to think, like, you don't deserve happiness.

[Tana Mongeau]

You don't deserve love. So you're like, sabotaging yourself in a way by going with like. Because the things she just listed off are obviously, those are clear red flags to every single person, you know, so it's like, it's almost like you said, you almost just test yourself off for failure because you don't think you're deserving of happiness.

[Trisha Paytas]

And the I can fix him trope, I was. I call people who date girls who date homeless men or vice versa, hobosexuals. Like, as in, like, I'll take you in. I dated many hobo sexuals.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. LA is very common.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like, yeah, yes, my bed, my kitchen. Come move in.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, because they're not like the people, like, the unhoused people on the street. They're. They're people that are on, like, Tinder. And they look like, you know, they're very, like, put together. Like, you would never know until they don't leave your house. And you're just like, oh, my God, this person.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I'm in between spots right now. I'm this, I'm that. And it's.

[Tana Mongeau]

It. Yeah. It's a phenomenon that in like 2018 or 2017, while still dating, like, I remember it was a big thing. People just like, wouldn't leave your house. So what did you do when you found out?

[Trisha Paytas]

I mean, I definitely just, like, let it happen for way too long. So many times. Yeah. And I would have boyfriends that just, like, lived with me. Like, instantly I had one was during the pandemic. Like, I had like a seven month relationship with the guy. He technically had a place to live. He just like, never went there. And then, like, his friends live. I don't. I don't. I never really got to the bottom of it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you see his house? You saw it?

[Trisha Paytas]

But like, once or twice. And like, maybe it wasn't even, like. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

He broke in.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. It's kind of nuts. I mean, it's like, pay my electric bill then, babe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right? Yeah. They never offer to chip in. That's what's annoying is I've only let it happen, like, for a few days. And I realized I was like, oh, no, they're not, like, getting out. So then I just like, call someone and be like, hey, can you say you're like my boyfriend? I'm like, oops, sorry if I tell you I had a boyfriend that was here. Like, something like that, you know, it's.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, earn your keep at least. Yeah. Like, that is all just, like, crazy and obviously sorry.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. Have you ever had a guy be like. Because one time I said that, like, can you, like, chip? And he's like, oh, my God. He's like, oh, I'll chip in with this.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely. Are you kidding me?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, they really think that's payment? 100 think it's payment.

[Trisha Paytas]

And unfortunately, I have been so stigmatized. Paige calls it stuck in sand. Like, where it's like, the. Is so good that it's like, yes, Homeless king.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it does.

[Trisha Paytas]

There are housed men with good. But this is more than that. I do think. I think that for her specific question, it's like, you've got to just raise your standards immediately and stop hurting yourself. And you will realize that you will get. Something will go too far and you will get tired of being treated like that. And 100. It's like you have to vibrate on that frequency. She knows it. She's like, I'm a hot girl. Go out there and don't accept.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think it's like, the red flags. You have to pick a struggle. Because if it's like, okay, he doesn't have a house. He's an addict. Which I, like, sympathize with addicts that can be, like, really nice people, but then also a drug dealer. I'm like, okay, you're a dealer and you're unhoused. Like, then they're dealing out of your house and they're using out of your house. He's what?

[Trisha Paytas]

He stabbed her, too?

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, wait. I think a good rule is, like, if someone stabbed you, like, don't date them. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, maybe just.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's crazy. How is she still alive? That's crazy. How did she get stabbed?

[Trisha Paytas]

But that toxic cycle is probably. That was probably just their worst fight. And, like, people really do get into, like, that girl.

[Tana Mongeau]

I forgot about the stabbing part. So I just think about everything. Like, don't even. Like, don't even worry about the other stuff. Just. Just leave. Report him to the police, maybe. If he stabbed you, that's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's like, you can't fix him. You don't want to. I know that sometimes being with these men, like, a drug dealer or something. Like, I remember a time where I genuinely felt like, this is so exciting. Like, I'm breaking the rules. Let's. Let's go sell these drugs together, baby. Bonnie and Clyde. You're not Bonnie and Clyde, babe. You are just two tweakers, you know? And, like, that's what you're presenting as by associating yourself with that. And it's just like, you. You deserve better and you clearly know it. So you got to make that leap. And we live in a day and age now, too, where it's so great. It's like, get on Hinge. You can find someone new who.

[Tana Mongeau]

You think Hinge is the way to go?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Over Bumble.

[Trisha Paytas]

I never tried Bumble because the girl has to message first, and I'm lazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is that still the case?

[Trisha Paytas]

Is it?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so crazy. I used to love Bumble, but I haven't been on a dating app in, like, a really long time. Like, literally, like, eight years. I don't know. Dating apps are hard. They are hard.

[Trisha Paytas]

But it's nice to know that there's, like, a Rolodex of other people who aren't. Aren't him out there. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Aren't Mr. Stabby.

[Tana Mongeau]

The majority of people don't stab you.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel, which is cool.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Stick with those people. Next question.

[Trisha Paytas]

We love you.

[Devon]

Hi, Tana and Trisha. I have a question. Kind of more for Tana, but also Trisha. Tana's always talking kind of about her life with Makoa, and it seems, like, so fun and just like, it's happening frequently. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 30, and. And I feel like we don't have enough, like, at least for my standard. But when I try to bring it up to him, he kind of, like, freaks out on me. And I tell him, like, I just want to feel, like, wanted by you and, like, attractive, but he, like, just gets offended by it. And then, like, we eventually have, like, once, and then, I don't know, I feel like I can't even bring it up to him because he's gonna get upset. And I don't even want to try to initiate it because I'm scared to get rejected. Like, that's the worst feeling, getting rejected by your partner. You know, I tried wearing lingerie one day for when he came over and I was making dinner and he didn't even say anything about it. So how do you not say, I don't know. I'm just so confused. We've been together for a little bit over a year now, and I do think we were having more in the beginning, but, like, he still comes over and sees me every night. And, like, I don't.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just.

[Devon]

I don't understand. So what do I do?

[Tana Mongeau]

Love you guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I have so much to say. Imagine I'm all, cheat on him, girl, no kidding, I'm kidding. Don't cheat.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess in that case, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I never condone cheating, but I guess if you're not getting. But I guess you should probably break up anyways. They were asking toxic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Me would say cheat. No, but kidding. Okay, here's. There's. This is so layered. There's so many things I have to say to this. It's like, obviously you want to have empathy for him, right? Maybe he could be depressed. Maybe his self image isn't great. Maybe he doesn't feel confident with how he performs in the bedroom. Some people just have a low drive, right? But the way he's responding to you makes me mad. Like, I think an open line of communication is so important in a relationship. And God, I'm trying to think about this. If I'm being completely honest, I feel like you have to, like, sit down and have a serious conversation. Like, hey, my needs are not being met. And if he has a temper tantrum. A grown man temper tantrum. Be like, then let's talk about this when you can calm down. You know, it's like. And the lingerie stuff like that is awful. You never want to feel like that in your own relationship.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my gosh. Like, you put an effort in, like, even if, like, I don't know, say something if he's giving you nothing. I think compatibility is a huge thing. I think if you're not compatible and a lot of girls deal with the same issue. Like, I know know so many girls, myself included for like the longest time when I was dating. It's like, oh, my God, is there something wrong with me that I just like, once all the time and like, the guy didn't or something. I think it's a lot of girls. A lot of them just happens. But if you're not compatible in that way, because like you said, some guys just have like a low drive. Maybe he just doesn't love like that. And then in case it just like, it will not work out no matter how much you love someone. I don't think it's gonna work out if you're just like.

[Trisha Paytas]

I fully agree. I think it, like, obviously an emotional connection matters, but, like, the physicality is also like, like very make or break, in my opinion. And it's like, girl, you deserve. If you want to be thrown around, bent over. Now I'm getting all patreon over here, so let me not get too patreon on this one. But you deserve that and you don't want to. And this is what drives people to cheat or be so unhappy or. You know what I mean? I think that if you try and exhaust, like, you love this guy in every other way and you exhaust all communication for that and you're still not getting that, that you might have to think, like, there might be someone out there that I emotionally connect with enough that's also rocking my bones and my holes. It's right.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's such a big thing. Because when you do connect with, like, it's like, it. It's such a connection. You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't like, super, like, horny after, like, giving birth, but I was like, I made sure to make that effort because that's how we connected. And our relationship was always so much better. So, like, there are certain people who are just asexual and don't have sex. I think those people should find each other in life. And then the people who just want to all the time find each other and Then there's like, you know, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

We should have support groups more often for that. Normalize that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I do think that, like, lulls are norma normal. Like, I, I feel like I am always talking about like the moments where Mako and I are doing crazy, but there's also weeks where we're both like exhausted or like not super horny or like, whatever. And that's normal. Like, it's not. You don't need to be going at it like rabbits always. But it's like it. This feels like it's something that she's having to bottle up all the time. And you deserve to put on that lingerie and your man comes in and.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is like stopping everything to do you. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Over the kitchen table. Will the dinner or the stir fry.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And that's. And it's important to you. And then that should be. To me, that's like number one in a relationship. Obviously emotional and stuff like that. But that's like a. That's like a. That's a deal breaker for me if it's like not as frequent and stuff like that. And yeah, over time it's like changes, but.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I've done that. Like, I've been in relationships like that where like, you know, the X just didn't connect. And eventually, like, you just. I like, you gotta be like fantasizing all the time about like, what could be happening too. I feel like that's. I would notice my brain just being like, I could be getting bent over this couch right now. And I'm not. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And there's somebody who will want to do that for you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely.

[Tana Mongeau]

Over and over.

[Trisha Paytas]

So I think really try to communicate. And if you find yourself in the same position in a couple months or he just won't communicate, girl, go on that hunt.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Maybe break up and then go on it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, that part.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Devon]

Hey, Trish and Tana. I'm crying about a man right now and him for real. He broke up with me over text, and I'm an absolute shambles. What do I do? Who do I call? Y'all, I need help. Then back up immediately.

[Trisha Paytas]

We are the backup. The troops are here.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I wish we could be there right with you. Literally. That's so. It's the worst. It's the worst. Everyone can agree that person's. But I think, like, with this, it's like, who to call, your friends or family? Because honestly, it just takes time. It's the worst thing to hear. But I've been, like, crushed, heartbroken, shattered over, like, every breakup I've ever had where I feel like I can't even, like, get out of bed. I can't move on, like, anything. And it's just literally takes time, which sucks. Like, it took, like, year. A year in between each of my relationships to, like, fully, like, get over someone, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

But now it's like you're sitting here with Moses and you're like, thank God for that person broke up with me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Always. I think everyone has that story where it's like, thank God it didn't work out. Oh, my God. If I would have had a baby with anyone else, anything like that, I was just like, oh, my God. Things I wanted so bad. I'm like, thank God I didn't. I would have, like, gone crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

So her rock was just, like, glimmering in the light, too, on her finger right now. That was so.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Here's what I'm going to say. Whenever my friends or anyone comes to me and they say, like, some so and so just broke up with me, my immediate response is like, not, I'm so sorry. Like, yes, this sucks and it's going to suck. And you have to acknowledge that you're feeling these things. But I say congratulations because it's like, when the trash takes itself out, that's a blessing. Like, it really is. Like, this man broke up with you over text. The trash took itself out. Thank you. I didn't want to have to take the trash out. I don't like doing that. And now you are going to be on to bigger and better Things and. And you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Point blank, period.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's the tea.

[Trisha Paytas]

Staying with someone who doesn't want to be with you is hell on earth. And I think that make it camp girl. You know what I mean? Like, feel what you're feeling. Cry your eyes out. But like, get the chocolates, get the wine, call your girls. Like, post that hot picture on social media.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's a great one. When you feel like so hot and you're like, oh, he's. Because you know what? They always do. Look, even if they weren't into you, whatever, you always get those lurkers. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

So definitely clean, do your makeup and go somewhere you wouldn't normally have gone if you were taken. Like there's. And watch Sex in the City. I know this sounds insane, but it. That show to me is just like, they go through so many break breakups. It's so girlhood, it's so 20s.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, so you related. You're like, oh my God, they can get through it. So can I. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, and it just reminds you that there will be another one. And you're always gonna have your girls and your friends and that you're gonna be able to laugh at this man. You're gonna be able to laugh at all of the things. Maybe he didn't brush his teeth regularly. Or just think about your ex and know one day you're just going to.

[Tana Mongeau]

Be laughing and that person will give you X. One day when you think that's like the perfect person that broke your heart, one day you're going to be like, ill. Yeah, absolutely. And you, like, are going to worry about past you. You're gonna be like, what were you thinking? But it definitely, definitely does take time. But yeah, it is. It's hard to see that whatever you do, don't like, don't like beg. Don't be like, oh my God, come back. I was the girl that would send like 5,000 texts, 5,000 phone calls, and it just makes you feel worse. And even if they do come back eventually, like, you just don't ever want to be that person.

[Trisha Paytas]

So I know you're with someone who doesn't want this as much as you, and it, it is easier. You just want to go back to what was just comfortable. But like, this is so good. Like, feel it. I'm not saying not to feel it, like, but just know that what you're feeling is normal. Everyone goes through this, like, and it's. You're on your way like that. You're one more rung up on this ladder to your final destination. And again, thank God the trash took itself out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Exactly. Be the person. Be with the person who wants you. I think that's, like, a good advice. Like, you know, there's so many people you end up liking. Make sure the person really likes you, too.

[Trisha Paytas]

One time, I was on a plane with Gabby Hannah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Every podcast is a Gabby. I love it. I love her. I hope she's doing well. I actually, like, love her.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know. Honestly, she comes on here to guess.

[Tana Mongeau]

That'd be great.

[Trisha Paytas]

She would probably say, but I was on this plane and I was crying to her about a boy who didn't want me back. And she looked at me and she said, the number one thing you have to look for in someone over absolutely every single thing you think you want is that they want you as much as you want them. And it was the first time I had ever heard that, and I still remember it to this day. Like, Gabbie Hannah ate with that one little thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, sometimes, like, looking back is realizing, like, maturing is realizing. Gabbie Hannah was right some of the time. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Not like in some of your situations, too. You're just like, wow. Gabby was really like, yeah, she kind.

[Trisha Paytas]

Of ate with that one little thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, maybe that's why I heard.

[Tana Mongeau]

It, because I heard that, too. I'm like, maybe I heard it from Gabby.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Seriously. And I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think that's good advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

You are absolutely going to find that person.

[Tana Mongeau]

Please.

[Trisha Paytas]

I even do you. Like, I always think about this, but, like, people I would look back on and, like, I was dating them. We break up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I'm like, nobody's ever gonn. Like, he. Maybe he didn't even get you.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. Didn't even like you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And, like, when you actually are with someone who wants you as much as you want them and gets you, it's like, it's so clear, so it's so wild.

[Tana Mongeau]

And the other person that wants you will, like, will make it known. Will do, like, the most, like, move mountains. Will drive from, you know, Inglewood to Studio City. Like, any, like, anything to make sure, like, you know that and won't be.

[Trisha Paytas]

Breaking up with you over tax.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. That's the ultimate ick.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like what?

[Trisha Paytas]

But again, imagine carrying those trash bags out yourself. Annoying. Thank God you did it. Bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bye. Trash.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. He took himself out. At least he could do.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love you. Good luck.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Sex in the city. Make it camp.

[Tana Mongeau]

I gotta watch it. I've never watched him.

[Trisha Paytas]

What?

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. Wait, what? Everyone's so gasped. I know. Really, I should probably. I'm like their age now, right? Aren't they, like, you see them just grow up completely.

[Trisha Paytas]

Girls and it's. Brooke said this to me one time, that it taught her more about life, love, and relationships than like, any friend ever. And it's. It's like, it really did.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have a confession. I was a girl hater for a long time. Like, I was definitely a pick me where I was just like, I don't like any girl. So, like, the idea of a show revolved around girls. I was like, I don't want to listen to a bunch of, like, old women. Whatever. Now I'm, like, loving it. And, like, wanted to be.

[Trisha Paytas]

So you'd be cosplaying as Carrie Bradshaw tomorrow. Carrie, just. She's the most wanted to cosplay as. I think. I think you're.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like the one. I like the redhead. I like her haircut.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love. She's the most like. Paige, you're so. You're so.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's her name? Which one is her?

[Trisha Paytas]

Miranda. Yeah. No one wanted to be the Miranda.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I love her so much. She was ahead of her, really.

[Trisha Paytas]

She Wasn't she a mix of Samantha and Charlotte?

[Tana Mongeau]

Samantha's the one, right?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think people think I'm more of a sex driven person than I am. I think I used to, like, try to make it seem that way. And I never really was.

[Trisha Paytas]

But she's very like, a. Me too. I get that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah. I try to be over. I was like, I love. But meanwhile, just, like, laying there.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Real.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love starfishing now. It's my favorite.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love a starfish.

[Trisha Paytas]

So good. It's so good. And when you're with someone who loves you and you don't have to feel like you have to, like, perform all the time.

[Tana Mongeau]

The best. Although, don't drink a bunch of water before you do that. I might. You could hear the water jiggling in my belly.

[Trisha Paytas]

That always happens to me. Really? It happened.

[Tana Mongeau]

It happened the first time, like, a couple weeks ago. And I was like, oh, my God. It was the most embarrassing thing. It was just like, gurgling.

[Trisha Paytas]

That always happens to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, wow. It means you're, like, maybe nothing in your steps. Because I didn't eat. So all I had was water. So I think it was just like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And I'm weirdly hydrated. I don't Think people know that about me? I think I give. Dehydrated.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I don't ever see you drink water.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I'm a hydrated girly.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love water. A water tub right there if you ever need one.

[Trisha Paytas]

And she got custom Loveline waters.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they didn't come for our first episode, but they're on their way in.

[Trisha Paytas]

The Just Trish water right now.

[Tana Mongeau]

500 coming. Oh, yeah. Let's. Let's do another one. Let's do it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Life's busy. Time's precious. You might be doubling down by working out while listening to this podcast. Next time, make your workout work harder with a LifePro Fitness waver vibration plate. You'll feel your muscles contracting faster, resulting in improved flexibility, stronger muscles, and even lymphatic drainage. Listeners get up to 50% off for a limited time and always free shipping. Get your waiver vibration plate by visiting meet.lifeprofitness.com pod Ryan Seacrest here.

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[Devon]

I am in between two guys right now, one of them being my ex and the other one being a man with a whole kid.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh.

[Devon]

I'm 22, he's 25, and the child's almost three, so I don't really know what to do. I'm kind of thinking of going for neither of them and just being single, but I don't know, is it cool to be a young stepmom or.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Devon]

Anyways, any advice is helpful. Thank you all.

[Trisha Paytas]

Bye. Bye, girl.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bye.

[Trisha Paytas]

Why do I think a stepmom era is kind of.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it's not uncool. I guess I would have, like, if.

[Trisha Paytas]

Makoa had a kid. I would love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Interesting. Why?

[Trisha Paytas]

Because it's just like, almost your responsibility, but, like, not quite fully. Like, you don't have to push it out. Like if the kid gets like, E. Coli or something, it's like, call the moment. Sorry.

[Tana Mongeau]

The equality is a thing right now. Yeah, I don't think I have it, but I did eat McDonald's the other day. Stop.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so crazy. If you had E. Coli, I would support you through it, though.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you.

[Trisha Paytas]

My girl has E. Coli.

[Tana Mongeau]

Raise awareness for not kidding. The new guy is the one with the kid. And then she has the ex who doesn't have a kid.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's also 25 with a kid, which is better. Like, if you told me he was like, 40 with a kid and like, a whole wife and marriage.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Also red flag because it's like, where's the mom? Does he care about the moment?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I think this is, like, such a polarizing, like, hot topic, like, issue where it's like, people are just like, one feels very strongly one way or very strongly the other. I just have, like, the worst step parent experience in every field. Like, step dads, step mom, like, absolutely horrible everything. And they would never let me be with my dad or my mom separate. So I just, like, have the worst ingrained. I know there's lots of parents. Oh, yeah. I had a few stepdads, and then I have a stepmom. So, like, I'm 36. I'm still, like, traumatized by it, but so I very much. I've dated people with kids, and it's fine. Like, you do you. You like, you like those kids. You, you know, they're there. It's wonderful and it's fun. But you do. I. In my head, I always just think, like, I should let them have time with their dad. I should let them. You know what I mean? Like, I know I didn't want to be that person that, like, takes their dad away at all. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You have to understand something, like, comes before you almost. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And some people can, like, deal with it. I don't know if I was necessarily that person ever.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't think about it like that. I would actually hate that. Like, what do you mean? You have to take them to soccer practice?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's what I'm saying. And yeah, it's. It's not obvious fair to the kids.

[Trisha Paytas]

22. It's like, girl.

[Devon]

Oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's so, like, if I. If anything happened with us, like, we got divorced, I don't think I truly would never date someone until they were, like, out of the house. Because I was just so traumatized by stepmom and stepdad. So me personally, I think it's like, you're too young, and it's like you're art. You're still with an ex, and it just doesn't seem like you're fully into this guy, so. And you don't want to go in and out of a child's life at that, you know, either, so.

[Trisha Paytas]

And that's the only thing you should be thinking about at 22 anyways.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

But don't go back to your ex either. Like, they're your ex for a reason. And remember that girl. I think you need to. There's more fish in the sea. And fish with kids are not it. You know, like schools. Schools of fish.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know, literally, actually birth.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is that what caviar is?

[Tana Mongeau]

Fish eggs?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Like caviar. Like, potentially.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's a good question.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wow. I'm gonna shout GPT that later.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're just.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think that's. That's good for that girl, right? Like, just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I would say it's definitely too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Young, in my opinion.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. But, you know, everyone has a different stance on it. I think that's a little young to be a stepmom. If I had to choose between. I honestly would say stick with the ex, you know? I don't know until you find someone else. But. Yeah, Honestly, it's hard, though. I mean, I have kids. It's hard. I'm sure it's hard to date with kids.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. It's like, a funny thing to say, like, oh, I'm in my stepmom era, but when you actually map out the logistics, it's not as camp as I was originally.

[Tana Mongeau]

But there's cool stepmom. I know there's people who love their stepmom, so out there's the ones that step in, and, you know, we love them.

[Trisha Paytas]

But you are so right about the in and out of a child's life thing. Like, that's just. You have to think about that. And that's. You don't want to do that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I had a lot of people in and out of my life, and I never really liked any of them, but it was, like, traumatizing when they would leave because it's like, they left us again. It was, like, really sad. So now I still get triggered. I'm like, don't ever leave, like, in the middle night for anything. Like, tell me. Like, if someone leaves in the middle night, I get. I literally start, like, sweats. Like, it's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

So I have a lot of that, too. Just abandonment issues. It's nuts.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I mean, that's really sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

At least we're not abandoned right now.

[Tana Mongeau]

Though, because we have each other. We have our men both. Okay. Like, literally, we're here together right now.

[Trisha Paytas]

Can we hear another one?

[Tana Mongeau]

Do we have any. Let's get another.

[Devon]

Hi, Trisha and Tana, I can really use your advice on something. So my fiance and I have been together for like three years now, and she's super trustworthy, but lately she falls asleep, like, way before I do.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I stay up all night, me.

[Devon]

And she's been saying this name in her sleep. And I want to, like, I just want to know what you would do. Would you. Should I just go through her phone before that she has a chance to read anything? Or should I ask her about it? Or will she think I'm like, being crazy because this name is like, not any of her friends name. No one I know no one on her social media. So, yeah, thanks for your advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yikes.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's a crazy one to end it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

If Makoa was saying some name in his sleep. I woke up a guy once by ducking him in the face. And I. I don't recommend doing that. I still look back at that and it wasn't my. But I. Oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would go someone's name.

[Trisha Paytas]

Something similar. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

What was similar?

[Trisha Paytas]

Just I went through his phone and I put everything together and then I was different.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like seeing something versus someone, like dreaming something. I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

It could be like her estranged cousin, you know, like we. She could be saying her cousin's name in her sleep. Like, we don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so true. I mean, it's also like you're sleeping. Like you can't control what you dream of when you're sleeping. Can you really hold someone accountable for that? I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I. I can't lie. If I said I. I don't like to condone going through phones. Like, I've never gone through Makoa's phone. I've really tried to, like, you never change. Never through Makoas. I have, I have in the past with sketchy guys I was dating, you know, but it scares me because it's a rabbit hole of, like, then I don't trust this person, then they're gonna do it to me, then they don't trust me, then. You know what I mean? Like, it's like a whole thing. But if McCollough was like saying a girl's name in his sleep every night, I can't lie and say I wouldn't do something insane.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow. Really? I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Why? Because it's like it's your subconscious.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. But you can't control roll yourself conscious. Like, I'm sure I've had crazy dreams about random people and it's like If I said it out loud, it's not like I chose that. Yeah, I'll tell him. Like, when I wake up, I'm like, oh, my God. I, like, dreamt I had, like, with this person or something like that I didn't want to. It's like something we like if we watch a TV show and it's like the last thing I'm seeing before bed or something. You know what I mean? And it's like. And it almost makes me feel, like, guilty. So I, like, tell him. But, like, you can't control it.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is true. That is really true. I wonder how many times it's happened. Like, has this only happened once or twice? Or is it like every night? Because eventually I'd be like, who the Samantha, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Would you ask?

[Trisha Paytas]

I think I would.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just on a little cuckoo. If you're asking what they're dreaming about, like, I heard you talk about this in your dreams.

[Trisha Paytas]

God, this is hard.

[Tana Mongeau]

Someone's phone and seeing something that's like, obviously a very different thing I went through. I used to go through Moses phone. But, like, it built trust for me because then I just started getting bored. I was like, okay, I, like, already went through.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, there's nothing there.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like photos of water. And you're like. It's literally.

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally. So now I'm just like, we have each other's passcodes and I couldn't care less. But I think if you need that. I don't know if you need that. I don't think it's necessarily a bad. I know people say, like, once you do that, you lose stress. But I'm like, it built trust for me. I was like, okay, I have full access, so I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's fair. Dude. I. Yeah. This is a hard one, I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

Give him a break. He's sleeping. Or she's sleeping.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I can't say. I would, like, I can't lie. I think I'm. I don't know why that is. To me. Maybe I've just in the past dated a lot of people who, like, totally would be, like, cheating on me and then dreaming about it and then saying the name so it's like some type of trauma. But, like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I don't. I. Oh, my God. Yeah, but I think you might be right. Like, just let it go. They're literally sleeping. And again, it could be like her first grade teacher. Like, you know what I mean? It could be anyone.

[Tana Mongeau]

It could be some peace. Right? Right.

[Trisha Paytas]

It could be like the character From a show. It could literally be anything. Like, it's.

[Tana Mongeau]

Mine's always a character from a show. It's never anybody.

[Trisha Paytas]

So, like, what was his name in the Idol?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, literally Tedious. Tedros.

[Trisha Paytas]

Tedros. Like, you're Tedros?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh. Mine would be like, the weekend, I'd be like, that weekend. Like, I was like, I tell them all the time. Like, it's so weird. Like, I don't know. Or be like Tim Allen from Home Improvement or something so random. It's just whoever. The last thing I saw on TV was, I was like, having dreams. It was when I was pregnant. So I was just like, having all these people every night, you know, And I was like, I felt bad. I wake up and I'm like, oh, my God. I felt like I was, like, cheating.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is so, like, I couldn't agree. If I ever have a dream about, like, someone else, I wake up and I feel, like, so guilty. Yeah, that happened to me recently and I woke up and cried. And I think it was literally like, Adam Sandler.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I was going to say, you do love Adam Sandler.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I have lots of dreams about Adam Sandler. So that's the thing is, like, I could be like, Adam, Adam. You know, and then McCall, he's like.

[Tana Mongeau]

He probably wouldn't care. I know most, like, doesn't care.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's just like, yeah, it's literally a dream. Yeah, it's not. It's not that deep, but you have a lot of avenues, girl. Whatever you want to do, do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Devon]

Hi fresh. Hi Tiana, this is Bridget.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hi.

[Trisha Paytas]

Brian.

[Devon]

I'm in a weird predicament in my Life where I'm 26, almost 27, and I'm starting to date more intentionally. I'm just at a loss for what path to take. There's a lot of stuff on the Internet around marrying for money rather than marrying a guy who can't really provide us substantially.

[Trisha Paytas]

What are your thoughts on that?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's very Bridgerton. Practical marriage versus love match. Which one do you go for?

[Trisha Paytas]

I love very Bridgerton. I still haven't seen that. I'll watch that and you watch that in the city and then we'll come back.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm serious. I'll start it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally, like, okay, well too. We always leave for a new show.

[Trisha Paytas]

God, that's that. That is the. The question as old as time.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, is that a question for you? Really?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. And like, I just feel like I'm. I, maybe I'm just on like awful girl tick tock. But I'm always seeing a girl on TikTok saying this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Really, to me, it's like not even a question. I feel like we're so past that in 2024. Like, no judgment. I just know so many people. Look, I was definitely that girl. I was like, I'm gonna marry for money. I don't want to work. I want to be like a housewife. I want to have kids. Like, that was always my goal. I'd always seek out famous people. Rich. I went on a date with a billionaire who was like 80 when I was like literally 19. Couldn't do it yet. He dripping out of his mouth like that. Literally. I. Anyways, we were trying to be in our Anna Nicole era. Like, like that's the dream, right?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Even look at Anna Nicole. At the end of the day, huge court battle. Didn't get them, you know, like this didn't get the money promised.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's always so crazy being out of Nicole Smith and just marrying that 80 year old man and then like going, I would do the same and I'd go to court, I'd see it through and I wouldn't get the money either.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, so it was so sad. But she like was iconic her whole life and that made her iconic part of it too. And look, I don't think it's a bad thing to like want, like to have a lifestyle, but I also know people who are in that lifestyle and they get cheated on all the time. They're like the most gorgeous women getting cheated on constantly and they just put up with It. Because they don't. What else are they gonna do? And. And some people are totally fine with that. I think that's cool. Like, you know, I probably would have been. If I was, like, with a billionaire, probably at some point would have been fine with it. But I also had so much rage that something bad probably would have happened because I just had so much anger and physical rage. And I'm like, that would have been awful for me, but I think it's just like. And, yeah, a lot of people don't have choices. And that's like, what. But I just think you don't have to marry for money. And to me, personally, I think it was like a. That to me was like a red flag. If someone had money because they want to, like, control you, control aspects of you, cheat on you. Like, you have to look perfect. You have to do this. They get all the power. They make all the rules.

[Trisha Paytas]

You ate that up. Like, you hit every single nail on the head at Trisha. Pay to speed right there. Like, I want to, like, literally give you your flowers for that. That was insane. That's the. That's the gag. Everyone glorifies being with someone with money and power, but what. You have to genuinely realize that if you do that, they are not going to want you to have a job 99 of the time. They're not going to want you to have a life outside of theirs.

[Tana Mongeau]

You.

[Trisha Paytas]

You are an extension of them. You are now the poster child for their image. And again, 99% of the time, men with money like that, again, 99% of the time,. I'm not saying every time, but, like, they are going to equate this with, like, I'm paying for her whole life, so I have complete power over her, and I can tell her what to do. I can cheat on her, I can do whatever I want. She just. She has to smile and wave. And I know a lot of girls who are cut out for that. And they love. Love their Birkins and they love their horses and they love their diamonds and whatever. But, like, you have to really sit with yourself and think, am I okay with that? And I will say it's so much more fulfilling to be with someone because you love them and they love you in a sequel.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, because when times do get bad and we've gone through it too, we're like, we were, like, in debt and stuff like that. It's like, when times get bad like that love and that, like, happiness and excitement gets you through, like, even being in debt and, like, owing Money and all stuff like that. As opposed to like if you go through hard times, what are you going to leave him? He's going to leave you. It's going to be this whole thing. I think Brianna Chicken fry was a great example of this, right? Because she had her own thing going. She makes her own money. He didn't come to tour with her. He's like, I'm going to just stay home. Cheated on her. She's like, I probably wouldn't have left if he didn't leave her. You know, he like. And that's the thing. She had like all this money and all her own career going and he didn't want it. And she was like down to just not do it because of him. And then she was. What was I thinking? So I think it's, it's. Yeah, it's a, it's a slippery slope. But I mean I don't, I don't judge people. You gotta do what you gotta do for money. I did trolling for money, you know, and I regret that. So I feel like there's, you know, different avenues.

[Trisha Paytas]

But like, what do you mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Just like just my stupid trolling videos that like, are not me. And I'm like, what did I do that for? Like 8 to $10,000. And I was like, I need it at the time. But I was like, now my reputation's ruined for my whole life because of like stupid trolling videos.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, you definitely have slayed the rebrand of a century. I also loved when you were a chicken nugget.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's more just like a drug induced video. I mean that one I'm not too embarrassed about. But there are some embarrassing ones where I'm like, oh, you live with that forever. But.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, me too. I feel you completely. I was just thinking about some the other day, but that's. Well, I'll save that for our podcast. Good God, I feel you on that podcast. Our next one like a just Trish or a canceled or something like why did I watch Adam and Lena have for a YouTube video was wild.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think about that sometimes. I'm like, wait, why? I have so many questions about that. Yes, go back in the lore.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like this for views. Let's do it. No, it's crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean sometimes views aren't worth it. Neither are.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, neither is 100. Like, I think you'll feel so much more fulfilled the other way. And just people do really glorify marrying for money. If you are really debating this, like really. And Think about all the negatives that that entails as well.

[Tana Mongeau]

If you can find love and money, I guess that's a win. But I would always go for a love. Like someone you just can't stop thinking about and you have fun with and.

[Trisha Paytas]

You guys can get your back together and you're not with someone who's controlling you. And, like, it's just. Yeah, I. I definitely say love, love match. And even all the girls on TikTok were like, I'm married for money or boyfriend's getting me. Like, I know that. Like, when those cameras shut off, like, it's much more sad than it looks like. Yeah, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it is. It is. And I know a lot. You know, a lot of people, too, like, personally that are just, like, miserable, but they look so happy on Instagram. So, you know, that's just advice from 2 Dumb. It's our common tagline.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not kidding, not kidding, kidding, not serious.

[Tana Mongeau]

And not love line and not.

[Trisha Paytas]

That was. You're slaying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, you went with the not getting. I just went with it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I loved it, though. This is like. I just have to say, this is so fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have so much fun. If the real. If the people who created Loveline would like to give us the name Loveline, we'll host it. Well, I don't know what show it was on. Maybe, like, MTV or something. Can you imagine MTV giving, like, ADAM CURL and Dr. Drew, like, a. A show about sex and dating? I'm like, what? Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so. It's so crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Makes sense. But, like, Adam, Carolla, and, like, just men almost.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm like, this is for the girls. Like, it makes. Maybe that's just me being a straight man hater, but I am a straight man.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do like it. But everyone else can go themselves.

[Trisha Paytas]

Moses and McCoy can live.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, everyone else.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is so fun. I can't wait for the future of all of these voice memos. Guys, please call us and this number. Yes. And, like, tell us anything crazy. Even as these are playing, I'm like, even on other stuff. Like, if someone. If you're fighting with your mom or your best friend does something crazy, I'm down for all of it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we want to know good, bad, and you're so worthy and you're so deserving of love.

[Trisha Paytas]

And we love you guys so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love you. And go to Patreon on Fridays. We'll be posting the explicit 18/patreon.com, not loveline. And we're gonna go film that right now. So if you guys want more? We'll give you more.

[Trisha Paytas]

I am so excited. Oh my God. We're gonna talk about it all.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow. Save it for Patreon. Love you guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Bye guys.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bye.

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