2: MY BOYFRIEND Is Talking To His EX?! Is He EMBARRASSED OF ME?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Not Loveline – Episode 2: "MY BOYFRIEND Is Talking To His EX?! Is He EMBARRASSED OF ME?"

Release Date: December 2, 2024

In the second episode of NOT LOVELINE, hosts Tana Mongeau and Trish Paytas delve deep into the complexities of modern relationships, offering candid advice drawn from their personal experiences. The episode, titled "MY BOYFRIEND Is Talking To His EX?! Is He EMBARRASDED OF ME?", tackles issues of insecurity, self-love, control within relationships, and navigating interactions with ex-partners. Through engaging conversations with callers, Tana and Trish provide a blend of humor, empathy, and raw honesty that characterizes their unique approach to love, sex, and dating advice.

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Key Discussions and Listener Questions

1. Coping with a Boyfriend’s Interaction with His Ex

The episode kicks off with a caller named Regan seeking advice about her fiancé’s ongoing communication with her best friend, who is also engaged and part of her bridesmaids' party. Regan expresses anxiety over attending her friend’s wedding with her fiancé, fearing it might create an awkward dynamic or indicate lingering feelings.

• Tana Mongeau (@04:25): "That is so, so, so true."
• Trish Paytas (@06:52): "He's not into you."

Advice Given: Tana and Trish suggest setting clear boundaries, possibly excluding the fiancé from certain events to maintain harmony. They emphasize the importance of prioritizing the friend’s wedding experience and ensuring that the fiancé respects these boundaries.

2. The Role of Self-Love in Relationships

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing whether self-love is a prerequisite for entering a healthy relationship or if it can develop alongside one.

• Trish Paytas (@12:25): "He taught me how to love myself."
• Tana Mongeau (@15:13): "They just showed us a different way of living and loving that made us be able to be whole on our own."

Insights Shared: Both hosts reflect on their past relationships, acknowledging how partners like Moses and Makoa played pivotal roles in fostering their self-esteem and personal growth. They agree that while self-love is beneficial, meaningful relationships can also catalyze self-improvement.

3. Navigating Control in Relationships: Dressing and Personal Freedom

Listener Melanie from Houston raises concerns about a man who dictates what she should wear, questioning whether to comply out of respect or assert her autonomy.

• Tana Mongeau (@19:24): "I don't think a man should ever tell you what to wear."
• Trish Paytas (@21:21): "I would absolutely, like, not tolerate. I think that's, like, a zero tolerance thing."

Guidance Provided: Tana and Trish firmly advocate for personal freedom, advising listeners to resist controlling behavior. They stress the importance of maintaining one’s identity and clothing choices without external pressure.

4. Emotional Availability in Men

A recurring theme is the challenge of finding emotionally available partners. A caller named Anna seeks advice on avoiding emotionally unavailable men and fostering reciprocal relationships.

• Trish Paytas (@56:57): "I just love to be like dream."
• Tana Mongeau (@57:09): "There are different cases, you know. Like, some men are emotionally available, don't get me wrong."

Recommendations: The hosts suggest proactive approaches such as speed dating with clear intention-setting and prioritizing open communication about emotional needs from the outset. They also highlight the importance of recognizing personal patterns that may attract emotionally unavailable individuals.

5. Dealing with Boyfriends Who Don't Take You Out

Caller Christian expresses frustration about her boyfriend never wanting to go out, always preferring to stay in and cuddle, leading her to question his embarrassment or lack of commitment.

• Trish Paytas (@44:07): "Don't stop dating other people because of this person."
• Tana Mongeau (@48:03): "Keep your options open."

Advice Offered: Tana and Trish encourage maintaining an active social life and exploring other dating opportunities. They emphasize that a lack of willingness to partake in typical dating activities may signal deeper issues in the relationship.

6. Enhancing Intimacy and Openness in Relationships

In one of the final questions, a caller seeks advice on encouraging her boyfriend to be more "freaky" to meet her needs.

• Tana Mongeau (@60:19): "Open communication."
• Trish Paytas (@61:19): "If you talk about marriage and kids on a first date and they're not scared, I think he's emotionally available."

Solutions Suggested: The hosts recommend fostering a safe space for discussing intimate desires, ensuring mutual consent, and gradually introducing new dynamics to enhance intimacy. They stress the importance of understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries.

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Hosts' Personal Experiences and Insights

Throughout the episode, Tana Mongeau and Trish Paytas share anecdotes from their own relationship histories, illustrating how past experiences have shaped their perspectives on love and self-worth. Their transparent storytelling underscores the authenticity that resonates with their audience, making complex emotional topics more relatable and accessible.

• Tana Mongeau (@14:34): "Makoa definitely like saved me, changed my life, changed how I view love and loving myself in general."
• Trish Paytas (@16:36): "Better just love your children. If you're just there for your children and give them attention, like, it just. I think it'll change, like, the whole course of their life."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Trish Paytas (@04:25): "Let's hear it."
• Tana Mongeau (@12:25): "That's a deep question. Wow."
• Trish Paytas (@22:14): "Or just getting older, too."
• Tana Mongeau (@57:35): "Maybe you'll find a man in the trees."
• Trish Paytas (@62:54): "You're saying yes, saying no, so good luck."

Conclusion

In this episode of NOT LOVELINE, Tana Mongeau and Trish Paytas offer a raw and unfiltered take on love, sex, and dating challenges faced by their listeners. Their honest discussions, peppered with humor and personal anecdotes, provide a comforting and relatable space for individuals navigating the tumultuous waters of relationships. By addressing a variety of concerns—from dealing with exes to fostering self-love and enhancing intimacy—Tana and Trish reaffirm their commitment to helping listeners find their way through complex emotional landscapes.

For more in-depth and spicy content, listeners are encouraged to visit their Patreon, where exclusive episodes and additional advice await.

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Not Loveline Fresh for Everyone

Note: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections as per the request.

Transcript

[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

Like, oh, it's her best friend and this is wrong. But cropping out of the photo is diabolical. Okay, he could have chosen a selfie. Look at my armpit. Like, why is it 10 shades lighter than me?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, don't give it out for free. Save it for the Patreon. 4words messaging on Instagram. Mat on Grindr.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have my four.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's not into you.

[Tana Mongeau]

God, I love this.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I love it so much. It's late.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we're in like dulu hours.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love dulu hour. I never stay up this late ever. So I'm just like, how? Woo.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so funny. That is the one thing about us that's so different. Like, I'm a night owl to the core, but I love when you and I have been filming for a couple hours and then we just start saying the craziest.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's so surreal, like, looking at you like you're here and I'm just like, this is like. I'm like, hallucinating a little bit. I'm like, whoa.

[Tana Mongeau]

We just shot the Patreon for the other one and we got really crazy. Like, I feel like we just learned so much more about each other. Like, about our spicy lives.

[Trisha Paytas]

It got it so intense.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I. Wow.

[Trisha Paytas]

Taught me so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

You taught me so much. I'm not kidding. For those who watched that, you know, it's wild.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's crazy. Patreon. Patreon.com. not loveline, you guys, we are not experts. We are not relationship gurus. We're not doctors.

[Tana Mongeau]

We are not Loveline.

[Trisha Paytas]

Don't sue us. Well, originally felt like, not Loveline, don't sue us. But then I also thought, like, do you remember, like, they did that dumb Starbucks? Do you remember that?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. It's Nathan for you. I love him.

[Trisha Paytas]

And everyone was like, oh, he can, like, do it. Because I had, like, dumb in the name. So I was like, oh. Because I really, I thought, dumb love line.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

But then I was like, maybe not I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like, not love line. You were on Nathan for you. Can I say that in your entire, like, discography? Like, I would put that in, like, my top five favorite things you've ever. Really love that show. It's one of my favorite shows of all time.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's a show I don't get at all. I really try to, like, watch my episode and I'm like, I don't get this show. Like, I don't get his humor. Even when we filmed it, I. We didn't get to talk before and after. I just walked in and I'm like, this is like. I literally was like, am I being set up for something? Like, it felt so awkward and weird.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was it just like, one camera guy wasn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

And they're like, you're just going to walk in and he'll, like, explain what's going to happen. And so I just walked in and he's just like, this is this guy where. I was like, yeah, it was so weird. He was just as weird in real life. Like, it was really.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's not a bit.

[Trisha Paytas]

No. Like, he didn't talk to me before. After that was it. I was like, okay, you guys can go. And I was like, okay, where's my check?

[Tana Mongeau]

So it's so crazy, like, what you see on TV versus what actually happens.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your stories with all the shows are so different than, like, what I thought watching as a fan.

[Trisha Paytas]

Why do you think it's just, like, so much fun?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I was like, oh, my God, she slayed that. And it was.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think this guy is so weird. Like, I really thought, like, I don't know, something bad was going to happen or something. I was like, this feels like, not a real shoot or something like that. It felt like, fake because it was like, one cameraman, no crew. It was like some, like, random office space. Like, it was really weird.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I was like, oh, here we go again.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Anyway, no, it's. But I love it. We'll end up getting to, like, two voice memos.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're going to get two more, you guys. I promise. We're going to go through quicker rapid fire. Well, not even rapid fire. I don't know, whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your brain works just like mine. Like, you actually. Your brain works just like mine. It's so funny. Me as.

[Trisha Paytas]

This has been. This has been so much fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is so. This is my new favorite thing. And I just, like, love hearing from our fans.

[Trisha Paytas]

If we only.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

If we only do two episodes, I hope that we helped you Guys in some way and given our advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Seriously, it's weird, because I really thought we were gonna give way worse advice than we did. Hopefully, for today's episode, we knock it out of the park.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I think we were both, like, we slayed that first episode.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I feel like our trauma really was really useful.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Like, in our healing was even more useful, you know? Now we can see things through healed eyes where before I was like, oh, my God, he's isolating you. That means he loves you. You know what I mean? But now we're like, no, that's wrong.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so, so, so true.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wow. We're here. We're back. Let's go to question number one. Hello, caller. What's your name?

[Caller]

Hi, this is Regan. I caught my now fiance off to a picture of my best friend, and at the time, we were just dating, and it was, like, really, really bad. Oh, it was actually terrible, y'all. I was in the picture, and he, like, cropped me out. It was actually so bad, it. We fought for that for a while, but obviously I forgave him. And now we're engaged. Now that best friend is also engaged, and she's getting married, and I'm in the bridesmaids party, and I obviously have a plus one because I'm in the bridal party. So I know I'm going to be bringing him because it would be crazy. Like, not bring your fiance. Like, that would be weird.

[Tana Mongeau]

So, girl.

[Caller]

Yeah, so pretty much I'm like, I'm worried I'm going to be in, like, a weird head space.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller]

If I do bring him, and I'm not going to be, like, celebrating her. I'm going to be, like, too busy worried, or, like, self conscious. But then at the same time, like, no, I'm not. She's my best friend. Like, I'm not gonna be like, give two about this, man. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Mia's trauma dumping. Let me.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's not even her podcast. Trauma dump.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Trauma dump on us. We need to. Yeah, we want to hear it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dude, that's. That's so, like, hard because it's, like, your best. You didn't do anything. You know what I mean? And you're still, like, like, holding that in and, like, feeling self conscious. Girl, I think you need to let me choose my words carefully here. Send that man on, like, a golf trip. Okay. Like, he doesn't have to go to the wedding, in my opinion. Is that crazy?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, right. It is so tough because, like, obviously you want to see your friend, and it's not her fault. Ah, I don't know. I'm so conflicted with it, too, because it's like. Because I'm like, one hand. It's like. I guess it's her best friend, so it's different. I'm, like, on one hand, it's like a model. Like, you know, it's like a supermodel or something. And so it's. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's hard to. Obviously, I do think that sometimes people maybe get off to things just because they're wrong. Like, oh, it's her best friend, and this is wrong. But cropping you out of the photos, Diabolical. Okay. He could have chosen a selfie of her like that. Like, cropping you out of the photo is diabolical.

[Trisha Paytas]

Shift your eyes. You want to look at.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, at least leave me in. Right? Like, put me in on the action. Got cropped. Cropping.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, that's so t. If he corrupts me out, I'm gonna be like, why are we together?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you know, it's like, what?

[Tana Mongeau]

And then it's like, yeah. And you hope he, like, if you guys are still together, right? That he, like, learned his lesson. He feels very sorry. Hopefully, at the wedding, his only emotion is like, I'm a piece of. Not, like, oh, my God, I want the bride. Right. I really think that you should, you know, send him to a baseball game or a golf. Like, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Keep them separate.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's almost like a. Like a kid or a dog. It's like, you did something bad, so now you can't come. Like, this is my best friend's wedding day, and I don't want to ruin it for. Does the best friend know, too? Like, does she know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I would hope not. That'd be so awkward. If someone told me, like, yeah, like, my friend's, like, person was doing that to me, I'd be like, oh, you know what, though? I'm thinking about this, like, right in our scenario, right? Like, okay. Like Moses to you. I honestly, like. And this is probably, like, the worst advice, but I'd be like, I can't be friends with Dana because, well, that kind of happened to us. We won't say when or where, but it kind of happened to us. And I kind of remember being like, I had resentment towards you even though you did nothing wrong. So I remember, obviously, I wasn't, like, outwardly and mad. I remember being like, I don't want Tanner around.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Because you don't trust the guy. You don't want that 100%. I've had that happen so many times.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think. I think, yeah, like, healthy relationship would be, like, to not be in a relationship with that person because it's not the other person's fault, or you just can never see your best friend again. So choose one.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess, like, that's so tough. Like, trying to go back to normal from that is really, really, like, that's a hard situation.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't think I could be like. But at that point, because I have kids, and I'd be like, okay, well, I guess we're not doing the podcast.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

But I just think 100%. I don't know. That's a tough one. You're more close with friends. You, like, value friendship a little more. So, like, what do you say? Like, if it's MCCO with one of.

[Tana Mongeau]

Your friends and I'm cropped out of the. I'm dumping him. I think.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wow. Yeah. I would have to tell. That's weird.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, old, toxic me probably would have been like, well, now I'm going to your friends. And, like, now I'm not that kind of person anymore.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. You're like, I'm just going to move on, you know? Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. It's so funny because these take me to such a headspace where I'm like, yes. Like, I didn't even think about, like, leave. Yeah. It's like, get out. Like, death. Like, it takes you to.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it's awful. And I said for her because she's, like, living in it. So, like, you need to not do it, actually, because we're mad for our hypotheticals.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I can't even imagine it would lose my mind.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I really do think, like, oh, it makes me sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Have you ever had the hots for one of your boyfriend's friends?

[Tana Mongeau]

For sure.

[Trisha Paytas]

And what do you do?

[Tana Mongeau]

Current boyfriend. Because I love him so much and I just don't even, like, look that way.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. Like, when I was in a toxic relationship, if a guy, like, did me wrong, I would. His friends, like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

When I say that, like, I'm not kidding.

[Trisha Paytas]

I wish I had the opportunity to do that. I would have done it.

[Tana Mongeau]

My exes. I found out recently that one of my ex's friends was, like, on this tangent to my ex being like, you know, I could have Hannah, and I didn't because I had your back. Like, whatever. And then I was like, damn.

[Trisha Paytas]

He knew that I, like, But you never did.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I never did. But I definitely, like, my ex pissed me off and I definitely tried. I love, you know, like, that's I was a nutcase, but. Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I think you have to just.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think that I would try to, like, it's your best friend. You want to remain friends. Like, I would try to like, almost balance it. And I'm like, if this was like a dinner party or something, sort of. But it's like her wedding. It's all about her. And then he's just like, yeah, I hope he's grown and changed. I hope he feels really sorry. And it's still so weird. I think that you make him plans and you still go because it's your best friend.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's a good advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's just my opinion. I don't know. That's a.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's also dumb to have, like cropped the photo and stuff. Like, imagine it in your head or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

You literally imagine it. Imagination is free rent. Like, literally free.

[Trisha Paytas]

Let me screenshot and crop you out on top of that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, what crop is so diabolical? I'm serious. Like, you couldn't at least leave me in the photo.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's crazy. That's wild.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, the crop is in and like, imagine I'm sitting there cropping the photo. Like, I'm going to. Off to the. Oh, I hate him. Yeah, I'm sorry. I do hate your man. But I love you and I hope you guys have a move past even.

[Trisha Paytas]

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[Caller]

Patricia and Tana, do you think it's true that you have to love yourself to get into a relationship, or do you think you can enter the relationship not fully loving yourself, but then end.

[Tana Mongeau]

Up loving yourself through that relationship?

[Caller]

Love you both?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we love each other. Aw. That's a deep question. Wow. I mean, I don't want to speak for anyone else, but do you think.

[Trisha Paytas]

You had to love yourself to be in this relationship?

[Tana Mongeau]

I definitely think that I had to love myself more to even attract to a higher caliber. Do you know what I mean? To, like, attract. Because when you really hate yourself, what you attract.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And open yourself up to is usually along with how you view yourself.

[Trisha Paytas]

People will feed on that and be like, oh, she's insecure. She's this. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I also think that Makoa has taught me how to love myself in so many ways that I did not before. And I think that a good partner does challenge that. And it's almost like eye opening to me. I don't know if you relate to this, but just like when you see someone love you so much and all the parts of you that you hate, it makes you accept and love those parts, like, so much more. Yeah, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, a thousand percent. Someone. It was for me. It was like Moses, like loving me through so many. And I don't recommend this because I do think we had a really toxic relationship on my end. I was like, really mentally unwell and unstable when we were dating at the beginning and even just being friends. And I put him, like, through the wringer, right. I'm like, tossing keys over the fence. I'm like, you know, doing. I'm in a K hole at the W hotel. Like, he's picking me up. Yeah. Like, just crazy, you know, I'm doing of hardcore. I'm doing like all this crazy. And he, like, kept coming through and, like, picking me up and saving me from all these situations. And I was like, oh, my God, like, this person loves me so much. Like, why don't I love myself? So then, you know, he wanted to be in a relationship with me. And so that's like, oh, my God, this person, like, loves me. Then we got engaged and that's when I really started, like, caring more about myself and what I put out there and respecting myself, like, way more. I was just like, oh, wait, this person, like, loves me. Maybe, like, I should, like, try to, like, keep this, you know? So I think it for Me, it saved me. I did not love myself when I got in a relationship with Moses. I never loved myself in any relationship. But now I like love myself so much. I'm so confident. It's the first time I don't think about, you know, feel guilty eating. It's the first time I don't feel, you know, I have to overspend, like all these things. I don't have to use any substances. Like it's so he really did save me. I don't know if that's like the greatest example because I know people are like, you should love yourself and. But he, he taught me how to love myself.

[Tana Mongeau]

I relate to that in like so many ways. Like that's beautiful. And I really relate to that. Like, yeah, I moa definitely like saved me, changed my life, changed how I view love and loving myself in general. In a lot of ways. I think it's on paper, of course you want to love yourself and be perfectly whole before you enter someone in, but sometimes that doesn't happen. I think for you and me, we relate on that. That this person. I do think that both Moses and Makoa though, it's not like they filled a void for us. They. They just showed us a different way of living and loving that made us be able to be whole on our own.

[Trisha Paytas]

Definitely.

[Tana Mongeau]

Which I think is beautiful. Yeah. Really sweet. But yeah, that's. That's a tough one. I think it's situational. It is. Because it's also hard being in relation a relationship when you don't love yourself with a good person. You can also end up ruining it, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, absolutely. Because like most people, if you're like treating them poorly, will run and like you should like. I mean, what I put Moses through, I was feeling like why would anybody want to stay? But the fact that he did and so many times we've gone through so much, like I said, you know, just even after we're married, just so much stuff and you know, financial stuff and everything. And he's like, yeah, he's just like really stuck by me and like never wavered and like love and stuff like that. So I think, I think someone like loving you because maybe we just weren't loved enough as like kids or something. But I think that's why with parents it's like so important to like love your kids so they don't have to like seek validation everywhere, you know, 100%.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I think that I really was accepting what I thought love was. I associated love with chaos. I associated love. I Thought love was something that you had to fight for and earn and not something that you deserve and just should be given, you know, and it all does kind of come from your childhood. And it's wild in that sense.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. It shouldn't be like that at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're right that the, like, end of that question is, like, parents should be.

[Trisha Paytas]

Better just love your children. If you're just there for your children and give them attention, like, it just. I think it'll change, like, the whole course of their life.

[Tana Mongeau]

100.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, so.

[Tana Mongeau]

But obviously, if you didn't have that, it is important to just try to love yourself and speak to yourself kindly and change those patterns. But it is also nice to meet, like, good people who do do that. So I think it's a mix. I think it's different for everyone. And, yeah, I think all things, all roots are acceptable in that case.

[Trisha Paytas]

And if you are, like, single, just. You don't work on, like, loving yourself. It's the best way to be, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because you really will vibrate at a higher frequency. Like, I don't mean to sound all, like, sound bowl and crystals over here.

[Trisha Paytas]

So true.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you. The more you try. I think I was in a place when I met Makoa. There were so many years of my life where I wasn't even trying to love myself. I was like, this is what it is. These are the people I'm gonna date. This is my life. This is my future. This is it. It's good, you know? And when I met Makoa, I was. I was in Hawaii in this whole existential crisis of. Because someone. I saw a quote once where it's like, when you start thinking about how to love yourself more, you already are. You already do.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're making the steps.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Because it's like, even thinking, how do I love myself more? You are loving yourself. Right by thinking that. And I think I was opening those channels to meet someone like that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And then it just came into your life that way. And I do feel like when they're meant to be for you, they will be you. But I always think, even if anything happened with me and Moses, like, I'm just always so thankful that he, like, taught me how to, like, love myself. That. You know what I mean? Like, at the end of the day, I don't, you know, I would be so thankful regardless of how it ended.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I couldn't agree more. Like, I want to marry this man, but no matter what, I will forever be so grateful. And the way he changed, like, How I view relationships, I think that's like, a healthy relationship.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because, you know, people say that they're like, I stayed friends with my ex and we're cool. I'm like, how?

[Tana Mongeau]

What?

[Trisha Paytas]

And it doesn't make sense. But then I'm like, I get it now. When you're, like, in a good one, you're like, okay, I'm glad it happened. Which I can't say about any of my other relationships. So. So, yeah, you never know. The right love can save you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, and now we're going to be on the Patreon talking about, like, get.

[Trisha Paytas]

It, get it, get it, get it. Next question.

[Caller]

Hello, I'm Melanie from Houston, Texas. Just wanted to ask, what do you guys think about the man not letting you wear what you want? Should you have, like, a certain level of respect to, like, all right, maybe this is not valid enough to wear when I'm out with my man or without my man. Or should you just embrace it and wear whatever you want? Love you guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my gosh. I saw you. Visceral reaction to it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I didn't realize until we were in this how much these, like, the hypothetical of it all, like, with your. Takes you to a place.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yeah. Like Jesus.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm passionate about this.

[Trisha Paytas]

Let's hear it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm so, like, I don't think a man should ever tell you what to wear. I really don't. Or who to be friends with or where to. I'm. I'm never against this help healthy suggestion or someone wanting you to grow. But if someone is, like, putting rules and parameters on you, like, and you want someone to love you for who you are. Okay, now here's the thing. If you're wearing dental floss and two tassels to the target down the street, like, maybe there's some constructive criticism to be had. Okay. But, like, if you just want to feel sexy and hot and stuff like, that sucks. You should want a man who is proud of you for who you are. And if he wants a Mormon wife, turtleneck, none woman, I just find that it's out there. I hate when a man starts and in my own personal life, so much. I'm sure you've dealt with this so much. But, like, when a man brings you in, dating you for who you are, and they love it all for the first few weeks and the first few dates and then the first few. Whatever. And then they're slowly starting to try to change you. This isn't Build a Bear, babe.

[Trisha Paytas]

Has it happened to you? Because you're so such a strong presence. I wouldn't think anybody would be like, that's just how she is. Like, I'm not gonna change her. But you have people try to change.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, for sure. Because it's like, people just get comfortable, you know, and it's. At first they want the fun in the wild and the sexy, and then eventually they are insecure or possessive or, you know, so they try to change you, and you never feel good about that. You know? Like, it's one thing if you want to put on the turtleneck, right? But, like, if you wanted to wear the lace top and then now you're in the turtleneck, you feel like, about that, you know, like, you feel sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Totally. When I hear those kind of things. I've never been in a relationship like that, so it's, like, so bizarre to me that someone would say that, because the minute someone would ever be like, don't wear that. Like, who are you?

[Tana Mongeau]

Why?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like. But. And I'm really insecure with a lot of things, and I'm very, like, timid in a lot of my relationships with, like, that thing. I, like, I would absolutely, like, not tolerate. I think that's, like, a zero tolerance thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I agree. I just think. And I think a lot of men always start that off sweet. Right? It's like, I love you. And, like, I just.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're all mine, and I just. I want it to be for me. And, like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then, like, that can snowball into, like, don't wear that. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so scary.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I really. I had one like that. That was crazy. And I was like, I'm wearing miniskirt.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh. Just wanted to dress more conservative.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Like, he. And I was like, like, baby, I'm from Las Vegas.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I should be a stripper. Like, the fact that I am even not you should be, like, it's just crazy to me.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's. That's absolutely wild. I think my, like, style has definitely changed since, like, being in a relationship, but I think that's, like, something you should definitely.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do and want.

[Tana Mongeau]

And.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, like, I'm way.

[Tana Mongeau]

I used to be on my Instagram grid, like, nipples out, you know? And like, now I'm. I've naturally changed.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right, right, right.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's.

[Trisha Paytas]

Or just getting older, too. I'm like, I don't know if I can wear all this stuff. Like, we did a photo shoot in these outfits just now, and I literally was like, it's a picture of Pamela Anderson. Like, A bra. Bra. Like a see through bra. And I was like, oh, that's what I'm gonna look like. And then I looked at the pictures. I'm like, oh, my God, I look like a substitute teacher on the school picture day.

[Tana Mongeau]

Looked amazing.

[Trisha Paytas]

But you and I looked good. But, like, I was not. I was thinking Pamela Anderson and like, all her glory. I was like, you and I relate.

[Tana Mongeau]

To this so hard, though, because me as like, I'll see a photo of Pamela Anderson and then I'm trying to, like, recreate it, and it's like, baby, you are not.

[Trisha Paytas]

You did really good, actually. You're gonna love yours. You really did eat.

[Tana Mongeau]

You slayed down. You stop it right now.

[Trisha Paytas]

She doesn't pose Pamela with her arm up. And that's my biggest insecurity every. No, you look so good.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, why is it 10 shades lighter than me?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, don't give it out for free. Save it for the Patreon. People love an armpit.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do they people armpit fetishes.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think guys like armpits on guys. I was just asking this the other day. I don't really. I was trying to understand it.

[Tana Mongeau]

But did you get it? When a guy is like, sexy on.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, you do have an armpit. I guess it's a pheromone thing maybe, like, someone produces a lot of like.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, no, it's deep in McCullough's armpits. Damn it.

[Trisha Paytas]

You love it. Okay, I just. I'm not into it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I can never shut up. I'm just always over sharing boots. Like, I don't mean to. What was the question? Even.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know. We.

[Tana Mongeau]

We flipped. Like, literally. What was the question?

[Trisha Paytas]

A guy changing the way you dress. Yeah, girl, keep the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Keep the bralette on and tell him to. Yeah, shut the up. And if he. Like I said, if he wants a turtleneck, there's plenty of them out there.

[Trisha Paytas]

Mormon rhyme, season two, Find those blue goats.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not kidding.

[Trisha Paytas]

Next question. Next caller.

[Caller]

Hi, Tana. Hi, Trisha. I want to know what both of your opinions are on your boyfriend talking to the ex. Is that something I should be, like, worried about or not? Love you guys. Thanks.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, God. This is another. Just very polarizing. I think there's always, like, two opinions. There's people who are like, yes, be friends with ex. Nothing wrong with it. And then there's people who like me is like, absolutely not. You're being friends with your ex. But I know you're friends with exes, so, yeah, that's.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is One or the other.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like it's. Oh my God, it's a hard one. That's kind of like we were just talking about one on the Patreon over there where someone asked us like, how do you feel about the boyfriend watching? Right. And that to me does feel like it's like it's personal preference. Like it's. How do you, how do you personally.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Feel? You know, I would be a hypocrite if I hated someone else doing that because I am friends with my exes. But I'm very boundary based. Like obviously if him and his ex have a weird friendship.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or like a. She's a weird like, you know, like, or something. She still wants him like ill, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, I will never understand it. You know, I love Jake and Tara. Yummy. I still like, I asked him a thousand times when I see him, I'm like, I just, I don't get it. Like what do you mean? There was a picture on TikTok. I sound like literally a Gen Z person. But there was like literally his like alleged new girl and then liked her on the other side. And it was just like all these comments are just like how what? Because like. And I guess you can answer this because you are friends with your ex. Like don't you have a little bit of feeling for them or you have none whatsoever anymore?

[Tana Mongeau]

I, I personally like don't like Jake and Tara. It's. That's a little different to me because it's like they're really like everyday close.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I'm not everyday close with any of my.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're not the right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Ever. And but I also understand that views and the Internet make people do true very different stuff. Like I'm not. Maybe he would have bought in her the car without the camera on. I don't know their personal thing. Like I'm not talking to any of my ex all day every day or hang out with them all day every day. But I am the type of person where I do feel like a lot of my relationships have ended like personally where it's just like we were just friends. Like it was like we're better off as friends. Like our whole relationship was almost like we were friends and then we were trying to make something else happen and it wasn't. So then it was like easy for me to. And obviously also with time, like all of the exes I'm friends with, it wasn't like the day after our breakup I was like, okay, bestie. It was just like, over time we were able to like, be friends because we spent so much time. But even just with Makoa, I've had to like, dial that back a little because I don't ever want people to perceive it in a bad way, you know, And I don't want Makoa to ever feel a type of way. Even though I know I'm just friends with them and they're just friends with me.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know. I feel like even if he was like, I'm just friends with this, knowing that they hooked up, I just like, could not look at that person. I'd be like, sick.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, that's like me.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's like such a. That's like the one thing I feel.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I'd be like, no, I think it's like so normal. Like, I actually think that's like, so, so normal to not. And it's just like a preference thing. I also think I just personally have had a lot of weird situations in la and I have a really weird, like, life history where I would like, date someone for four months and then like, it was like, right. I was just like high out of my mind and it's like, that wasn't a relationship. So, like, of we can be friends, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Right. Interesting. Yeah. I feel like I've only had maybe like a couple relationships for real, so I don't think it was like, ever an issue.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, I don't even think I know what the word relationship means. Like, I do now.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, like, I dated that person and it's like, what the we all doing? You know? It's like there was so many, like, blurred lines and.

[Trisha Paytas]

Have you ever lived with a boyfriend? Like, full on? Like, he didn't have a place. You guys just shared one place. And when he broke up, you guys had to figure out where to live.

[Tana Mongeau]

No.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I never did either. Until I met Moses. I never. And I was always like, let's. But a lot of people do.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think I did have like one guy who I think was like, crashing in my house, but again, it was one of those relationships that was like five months and like, what the hell were we doing? It was during COVID Like, I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Interesting. Okay. I just didn't know because I was like, wait, I know you, like, have your friends that you live with, but I just didn't know if you like, live with a guy guy.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but I mean, yeah, that one I think is just so personal preference. And I totally understand the other side And I've always said to Makoa, like, if you ever feel some type of way about anyone or anything, I prioritize you, that's over them.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's such a good way to look at it.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean? Like, if you tell me you say the word, I will navigate changing any relationship with anyone to make that's amazing. Comfortable, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

And I love that because I've had so many people are like, oh, like, you know, I'd be like, I'm not comfortable with this person. And, like, well, they're my friend. And now you're gonna have to deal with it. It wasn't like. And I was like, okay. Like, that made me feel so.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I don't think that's fair. Like, you know what I mean? Like, if he said, hey, I don't want you to be friends with any of your ex, I would be a little sad. Like, because a lot of them are just like, my homies now. But, like, yeah, yeah, he's very secure, and I'm very. Like. I think I'm also just, like, so obsessed with him. Like, he knows he. I'm like, I don't want these, like, gremlins that, like, I don't know your friends. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I love them, these gremlins so much.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do. I know. Yeah. No, I didn't mean to say.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just in a. In a way, I'm. I feel nothing towards anyone but him. That's what I'm saying.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. She says, yeah, so personal preference.

[Tana Mongeau]

I could have just said that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. But Tana's saying yes, saying no, so good luck.

[Caller]

Hey, Tammy. Hey, Trish. I just want to say I love you guys so much. My question is. So my current boyfriend is craziest. Like, craziest. And my ex just called me, and I want to tell him because he's gonna see that he called me because he has my Instagram password, and I've been texting my friend all on Instagram about it because I forgot that he has my password. And I know he's gonna see it, and I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait, Whoa. She started speaking. Rubik's Cube.

[Caller]

Know what to do. I don't know how to tell him. He. And we called for, like, two hours, but literally, we just called for two hours because we were just talking about, like, how we're doing. Like, I told him about my boyfriend and everything. I don't know what to do.

[Trisha Paytas]

She's whispering like, she's in the closet right now. Like, where's Ex boyfriend.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so funny.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

I really only heard like a third of that, but from what I gathering, and she's dating a crazy man. Her ex called her, they talked on the phone. She's like, she wants to tell her boyfriend, so he doesn't think she's hiding anything, but he's nuts.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Well, my biggest concern is for the callers who think are scared of their boyfriends. I feel like if you're scared to tell them, like, that's. But it's a very common theme and it makes me nervous for people and I feel sad because I don't think you should ever be scared to tell like someone you're dating, like, the truth, you know? I feel like if you're like actually scared, like, physically, like, don't tell him, leave the situation. But if you're just like scared of his reaction thing, he's gonna like, flip out. I still think you should be truthful because, like, it probably, probably will be worse if you don't tell him and he finds out, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's really hard because I think that my overall advice is like, you want to be dating someone that you can tell anything too, you know? And like, I feel like she almost needs like a gun. My ex boyfriend. Like, it's like, that's a scary situation, right? Like maybe maybe tell your boyfriend over the phone. Maybe tell your boyfriend, well, what if we live together?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like send a letter.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, like maybe get out of. Go on a staycation somewhere and tell him in another way.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my God. No, that's. That's worse and you're not there. Then he thinks you're doing the worst or something like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel like this has got it. This is like a common thing though. Like, what do you think about people hiding things from people if they're not doing anything wrong? Like, what do you think if she like, what do you think about if she never told her boyfriend but like, she didn't do anything wrong?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, God, I don't know. I'm like so honest to a fault when it comes to that stuff because I like, I'm like, I just love to like, say. I like to tell myself, you know, So I. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right? Like, I just love to be like dream.

[Tana Mongeau]

But yeah. Before it gets to like, someone finding out something else the other way. I like to tell on myself too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I have dated people that I felt like I had to keep things from. So I like, would just like, not tell them the full thing, even if it wasn't bad, like, I've been in that situation too.

[Trisha Paytas]

You do it because why you just don't want the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I'd be dating someone who was so crazy that like, let's say I ran into someone I like used to hook up with at a party and we talked for 20 minutes. Like, like, you know what I mean? If you're dating someone secure, you can tell them everything about your night. But if you're dating someone insecure, it's like, I just went to a party that's I've been in that situation, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then, but the moral of the story there is that you want to date someone that you feel like you can tell everything.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's, I think, where it is. I think it's like I'd rather just know because if he did something and didn't tell me and it happened early on in relationship, right? Like, it's like, oh, someone texted me, didn't tell me. And yes, he didn't text back. But I was just like, why would you hide that? Or like, you know, certain things. I'm just like, I don't like that you were hiding it. So I think like honesty is like definitely the best policy on this. But.

[Tana Mongeau]

And if you're dating someone that you are scared to be honest with, like, that just, just sucks. And maybe if you are like desiring that two hour call with someone that you dated, maybe you aren't with the right person.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I feel that absolutely. I had a. I wouldn't even call him an ex, but someone I was probably the person I was the most obsessed and infatuated with, like in my early 20s where I just like waited around for years just to like be next to him. Literally haven't talked to him. Like when I was 22. How long ago? Like literally 15 years ago. I haven't talked to him in 15 years and literally started emailing me and texting me again, like out of the blue, like maybe six months ago when I was like pregnant, about to give birth. And I was just like. And I just was so shook. I was just like, I had to tell him. I was like, I don't know what's happening. But he's like, it's like, is this doing your number? Obviously didn't reply. And then email. Now part of me just wanted to be like, what? Like, why are you. I haven't talked about him. Like, what? Like 15 years later? Like, that's so weird.

[Tana Mongeau]

And if someone does you wrong, you like, want the validation of like, you Came back and like, look how good I'm doing.

[Trisha Paytas]

But was it like, that's what I wanted to know. I'm like, is it like, oh, wow, look how good I'm doing? Or he's like, I'm gonna sue you or something. I don't know. Something horrible. So I was like, just trying to figure it out. But ultimately, you just don't want to cross that line. Because I wanted to write back because I think the email was like, it's a secret email. I'm like, yep, just to see what he said. But then I was like, let me just not even open that door.

[Tana Mongeau]

The can of worms.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm so happy right now to anything up. Which, I mean, Moses literally probably wouldn't care about that either, but I just don't want to chance it.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's exactly how I feel with McCoy, too. Like, I just like, by. Day. By day, I'm just like. I'm becoming more like. I don't even like going out in public because it's like, who knows who I'm gonna run into. You get.

[Trisha Paytas]

You get a. That I feel. Because you do have so many friends and you, like, go out and people are just exes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, Jesus, you have to date everyone.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's such a flex, though. I love girls who date, like, a lot of people. We talked about this before, like, Nina Agdal and stuff like that. I'm like, that's such a flex. Like, I wish I had, like, a long history of boyfriends. I've had, like, two.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just had to know everything that was out there. Like, I'm not even just with, like, houses, like, touring them. I had to see every house in the Los Angeles Valley before I could decide on my house. Like, it definitely taught me, like, everything I wanted in a person, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I mean, I think that's. I think that's so important.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't mean by too. It was like. I was like, everyone can get the smoke.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, absolutely. No, you're like, maybe this person. No, I think it's the way to be. I mean, for people who need to. That, you know, I'm the same way.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel you. I love you always. Your safety is the number one priority.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think all these things should make you evaluate. If you are with your forever person.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And we love you. Be safe about it. Maybe you do tell him via zoom.

[Trisha Paytas]

And then maybe break up if you have to do that. So anyways, break up with your boyfriend. We should have Ariana Grande on the podcast so she can sing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Come On. Come on, Ariana, please.

[Trisha Paytas]

Next question.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, please.

[Caller]

Hey, ladies, my name is Anna, and a question I have for you is, what is your go to meal after a big breakup?

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that question. Can I tell you that I have this fear now? Like, new fear unlocked, and that someone's gonna call in and be like, tana, I can hate you, Trisha.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, we have a screener. Thank God. That's the scary part of, like, live calls. Even if we're not live, like, just talking to someone like one on one, all of a sudden they're like, I hate you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, literally.

[Trisha Paytas]

I like the idea of it, but yeah, that is a little scary.

[Tana Mongeau]

But, yeah, I keep that. That just keeps happening. I'm like, there's got to be someone who hates my guts for sure. Go to.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did we get any of those calls?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it was like a prank call. It would be like, yeah, can I get a large pepperoni with.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, okay. That's actually a prank call for pepperoni pizza. But no hate calls. Nothing. No one hate call.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, God, I'm scared. That's crazy. It's the inevitable. I know it's gonna come.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, don't say that. It's a full. It's a super full moon tonight, so don't. Don't say anything bad.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it's tonight. You should. We should go bathe underneath the moonlight right now. Because it's supposed to, like, calm and cleanse and everything like that. I don't think it's supposed to manifest on a full moon, but I think it's what I love. Everyone, like, looking at me, like everyone.

[Tana Mongeau]

In the room just turned to Paige as if she's literally a witch. Like, not kidding. Oh, my God. I will be bathing under the full moon. I gotta do all that.

[Trisha Paytas]

You never do moon work?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you? Yes, all the time. We put our crystals out in the moon, and I do get my moons mixed up. There's something you're not supposed to do on a new moon that you're supposed to do on a full moon and vice versa. And I think it's like, you're not supposed to manifest on full moon. I think you're supposed to, like. Like, write a list up and destroy it or something. You have a lot of irrational fears.

[Tana Mongeau]

So many.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I feel like there's. What was the one. There was something in there, and you're.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just like, I thought I had tinnitus.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, yeah. You're like, do you hear that? But I mean, that is scary. You might have. Because I couldn't hear buzzing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I made Paige come in and like, check it out.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was it a buzzing? Did you hear.

[Tana Mongeau]

She heard it. She heard them.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, it must have been like super subtle because I was like, I literally thought that's what it was. So I had my ear to the light. I'm like, I don't think so.

[Tana Mongeau]

But yeah, I was hearing ringing in my ears earlier. I probably scared the out of poor Trisha. Like, I'm like, do you hear the ringing? Like, I think I'm losing my mind.

[Trisha Paytas]

I used to hear voices and stuff, so I feel like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And stay shooting the podcast with me. I'm like, do you hear that weird noise? You're like, I'm out of here, girl.

[Trisha Paytas]

Never, never know if I hear voices in your head, I'd be like, okay, yeah. Or ringing, whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, there's a few me's up here for sure.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's all. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So what do we eat after a breakup? This is honestly a great question.

[Trisha Paytas]

Are you an eater after something emotional? Oh, you are.

[Tana Mongeau]

I envy the people who are not like that. But I am. So dopamine. That's. I'm an addict. Just through and through.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I didn't, you know, with food. Because I've never seen you like, fully indulge. I mean, obviously you eat. But I never seen like I go like so in. Like, that's one thing I noticed when we went to Madonna and I was like, God, I really like going on like every food and I think it's not normal. I think I eat way too much, obviously. But no, I've never seen you like, go in on something.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm really a nighttime. Like, that's my favorite time. Like in bed. Like when I say crunch, wrap off my chest, I. I mean it. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you're post meeting to bed. Yes, but I love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I am. I'm an emotional everything. Like, I. If I'm in an emotional state, anything that brings me dopamine, I will like.

[Trisha Paytas]

So the crunch that you said.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's. That's. I'm trying to think though. I guess the ice cream is always the goat.

[Trisha Paytas]

I've never done that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, me either.

[Trisha Paytas]

I just made it up. It sounds good in theory. Like, girls just want to have fun. The movie. They're like eating out of ice cream. It sounds good. It just always sounds cold. And I don't go to ice cream as my go to. I go to like, like pizza or like chicken fingers. French fries.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me too. Like fried. Just like anything With a hot Cheeto in it. That's my go to.

[Trisha Paytas]

You love a hot Cheeto.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hot Cheetos so much like my life. Like a hot Cheeto pickle combo. Pickles and peanut butter. I love.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's wild, dude.

[Tana Mongeau]

I really abuse my body. Like just red 40 and weird food combos.

[Trisha Paytas]

Red 40s becoming illegal. Now they're banning.

[Tana Mongeau]

If hot Cheetos had to change their formula due to that, I think so I would go on such a strike, protest. Like, I would dedicate my life to bring it back. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think it is, like, so harmful for your body. I mean, look at me. I, like, don't care. But also, I think it is, like, the worst.

[Tana Mongeau]

You look amazing. I. Stop it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I just eat a lot of food, but I don't necessarily, like, put bad stuff in my body. I used to. I used to put like, a lot of, like, junk food, but I am.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, anything that, like, feels like it can be made with, like, AI. Like, I want to eat it. Like, that's my problem.

[Trisha Paytas]

AI food would be such a serve no calories, but it's just like, tastes the same and it fills you up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Stop it right now. Jeff Bezos. Elon. Elon, we have things for you to work on.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm thinking, like, every time you say Jeff, I think Jeff Whitake. I was like, what's he gonna do?

[Tana Mongeau]

So, yeah, I mean, I guess go to breakup food for me personally is just everything inside, but everything. I have to work on that.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love a Domino's pizza, but that's also my food for like a Friday night.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I just.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love it, so. But I will eat a pizza all day, every day.

[Tana Mongeau]

God, I couldn't agree more. I love Prince street pizza.

[Trisha Paytas]

Have you gone through the new drive thru?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, not yet. But I'm so excited.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's in Hollywood. It's at the old Arby's. Have you seen it? It looks so. It's Prince street, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so good.

[Trisha Paytas]

I never had it. I should try it.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's far.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like, near you if you like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I love a deep dish. Like, I want a pizza to feel like I'm like 10 layers deep. Gonna lose a tooth.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, that's not your brand.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, it really is fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love when he posts a toothless picture.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's my thing. It really is. We were just talking about that on the Patreon. We got toothless and weird fast.

[Trisha Paytas]

Look for that Loveline next.

[Tana Mongeau]

What else do we have? Yeah, that question could have been answered in four Seconds. But that's my favorite thing about Trisha.

[Trisha Paytas]

Let's challenge ourselves to answer this in four words. We can continue, but let's just try words.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's fine. It's gonna be hard for us, honestly. Okay.

[Caller]

Hey, girls. My name's Zach.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hi, Zach.

[Caller]

And I'm just wondering, like, why is he responding? He's liking my Instagram stories, but he's not messaging me back on Grindr. What do I do? Thanks, mamas. Clock it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love you. Clock it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Zach, wherever you are, I hope you're having the best day.

[Trisha Paytas]

That outro was iconic.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know we'd be best friends with him.

[Trisha Paytas]

Lock it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Zach. I love you. Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, four words in messaging on Instagram. Not on Grindr.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have my fourth. You tell me. It's a fun challenge for us.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's not into you. Maybe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Definitely. Like, I. I feel you. It's definitely not. Here's what I was gonna say, but this is. Because I'm such an overthinker. Here I am yapping, like, get to your four words.

[Trisha Paytas]

Let's hear it.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's not that deep.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, that's good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I just feel like a lot of times in my life, I would, like, overanalyze things men did.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then it's like, either a, they don't give a if I live or die. Like, the man does. He just doesn't care. He's not that into you. He doesn't literally give a. Or it's just, like, he's liking stories and not thinking about messaging you back, and it's not that deep.

[Trisha Paytas]

It might be that actually, now that you say that, I go through so many people's stories, like, oh, my God, I can't believe you were, like, the first. Watch my stories. Like, didn't even know. I'm just, like, literally clicking my. Can't tell who it is. It's the next thing that comes up. So you're right. Maybe it's not that deep. Or maybe he's really into humanity. Maybe I'm wrong with that in the sense that he's like, you're more than just a Grinder to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

You are Instagram babe. That's huge. Like, that's. That's so valid.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I think it's.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, and I always think about this with, like, straight men. I just, like, as women, like, we overthink 90 plausible scenarios of something, and a man's like, I opened Instagram. I closed Instagram. Where's the gym? Like, or just whatever. And, like, the men Think. I don't know what the men think.

[Trisha Paytas]

They don't. Yeah. They just don't think that deep. You're really right about that, actually.

[Tana Mongeau]

Tools in football or whatever. I don't know, dude.

[Trisha Paytas]

But, like, it's just, like, they're not thinking about it. They're just like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, it's just, like, he could literally just be swiping through apps, and it's not that deep at all.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Or.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you're so valid for that. Like, he left the Grindr app and went to see your story.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that could mean something, but to see that, it could also mean nothing.

[Trisha Paytas]

Who knows the most indecisive answer? I think. I think it's not that deep. I'm gonna go with your answer. I'm gonna vote as that the winner. Because it pro probably just isn't. At the end of the day, he probably just hasn't logged onto Grindr because he found you, and he's like, I'm done looking.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hope this helps.

[Trisha Paytas]

Clock it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Clock it.

[Trisha Paytas]

The best tagline catchphrase ever. We add that to our sign. Not love line.

[Tana Mongeau]

Clock it, clock it. I love clocket.

[Caller]

Christian and Tana, I need your help. I'm with the hottest guy that I've ever met in my whole entire life, but he never wants to take me out. We always just go to his place. Oh, we don't even have. We just cuddle.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh.

[Caller]

And watch movies.

[Trisha Paytas]

Whoa.

[Caller]

I'm starting to think he's, like, embarrassed to be seen with me or something, because he's, like, light years out of my league. Should I leave or just enjoy how hot he is?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, this is me in every phase of life. This is so sad. I'm so sad for her. I know the feeling, girl. I don't think I was taken out of the house till I was, like, 30. Even then, I think it was for, like, a vlog. My 20s, I was never taken out of the house ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then when I was.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it's so. Yeah. If you're not even having. I mean, maybe he's gay. I was gonna say that with so much, like, love. I feel like. Oh, yeah. I've been with. I've been with a couple gay men, and it's like, sometimes they, like. It's, like, really sad to say, but, like, sometimes they think maybe they want to be, like, straight. And they're, like, trying, but they're like, okay, this is obvious. They're obviously fighting their truth. And. And it's so sad and hard because you guys get along so well, and you do love the cuddles. And it's so great because the taking out public is weird because I did go out with, like, some of my gay boyfriends. I guess I went public.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Because if anything, you would think if he was gay, then he wasn't. He wouldn't care.

[Trisha Paytas]

And.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, like, he wouldn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. So maybe he's a married, closeted straight man.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am happy that he's hot. And it's like, that's so fun. Like, obviously we love. We love a hot guy, right? But at the same time, it's like, like, you don't deserve to be feeling like this girl. Like, it's. That's like, you are everything, and you deserve someone who values you and wants to take you everywhere. And, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's that, like, hiding in the house and.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, that's what's wild. Cause I definitely been hitting. I'm like, but you know what? Sex was good. And I was like, you know, whatever. But that's what's, like, like, so bizarre.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's like, you could just look at hot guys on Instagram and that's almost like the same thing. And I.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, they don't get the cuddle. I guess that's true. The cuddle does go far. Very far. You get that, like, endorphins and.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that is true.

[Trisha Paytas]

That is really true. And if you're not getting anything anywhere else, I mean, I guess it cuddles better than nothing. Yes, that's true.

[Tana Mongeau]

And obviously I've. We've all been in that situation where you're, like, laying there cuddling, and you're just hoping, like, tonight's the night. Like, maybe he's gonna, like, you know, and it's like, but you deserve someone who just, like, cuddles you and does all of it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you know, just takes you out before the cuddle.

[Tana Mongeau]

Absolutely. And this guy could end up up either a being gay or not being gay. Maybe you guys are friends forever, you know? And, like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I mean, I don't know. That's so interesting. Or he's really religious, like, saving himself. I don't know. Yeah, but not taking you. I was just so weird. To me, that's, like, so odd because you only. You don't take someone out for, like, the main reason. Like, you don't want to be seen with that person because you have, like, a relationship or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, yeah. He could also be taken. And maybe that's why he's not so weird.

[Trisha Paytas]

He's gonna just Cuddle. And like, that's such a weird cheating situation.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is so weird.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm so perplexed by this. I think, like, I guess have fun if he's like, super hot and you love to cuddle. Like, I definitely did those stages of life. But just don't wait. Hold out for him. Like, just don't stop dating other people because of this person.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's the best advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You ate you. Absolutely. That's. That is the advice. Like, yeah, keep this up. But I think you need to go on one other date in the next couple weeks.

[Trisha Paytas]

A few. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And just see what else is out there. Always. Especially if you and a person don't have a label and they're kind of floating and you guys could have one conversation and then you can see other people and that is it. That's what a lot of your 20s is too. It's like, just see other people.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Just don't wait around if there's, like, not commitment there. And especially if that person's not taking you out, it's obviously not gonna be a long term thing. And unless you want to be hidden your whole life, which also kind of a slave, you don't have to look good. Like, the hunchback just kept in the bell tower. I kind of like that idea. If I wasn't on social media, I'd probably lock myself in a bell tower. I love Quasimodo.

[Tana Mongeau]

Have you seen.

[Trisha Paytas]

You never seen the movie? Go see that one first.

[Tana Mongeau]

What movie is the movie called? Quasimodo. Never seen Disney movies.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's so crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's so iconic.

[Tana Mongeau]

No. And people always call me the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Let me tell you something. Why? Because my scoliosis treasure. You should see me. I'm like, this is how I walk into my chiropractor every week.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm like that. When I get up in the morning, I literally am a hunchback back all the time.

[Tana Mongeau]

I have, like, so iPhone neck.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, really? Like, Ian.

[Tana Mongeau]

My arm is like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, just. Yeah. So girl, go on another date.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Keep your options open. We love you, though.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Next question.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think we're killing it.

[Trisha Paytas]

We get 10,000 views. Crushing it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not kidding. I'd still be stoked. I'd still be stoked.

[Trisha Paytas]

I would too. It's hard to start, like, a new channel, new podcast. Like, it is hard to, like, build something up again.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I think you and me both have, like, PTSD and like, a constant fear of, like, fear of the flop. If you will.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, I embraced. I've leaned into it that I'm like, even in a flop Tropica era, I still think it's kind of everything. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

There's freedom in the flop, too. You can say more and do more.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because, like, canceled as well. Just Trish as well. You know what I mean? And it's like, we just have our own little space that nobody cares, and we're just, like, talking between two plants.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would love it. I would literally love it. This is so, like, this is one of those things where no matter how it goes publicly, like, I just. I'm loving this.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's just so bizarre. It's so funny to me right now. I'm just, like, thinking about this. It's, like, so funny. Like, we built a set and, like, yesterday, and we're like, here we are having a talk show.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're the definition of. I always say this with us, but, like, it's like, who gave us money? Like, you know what I mean? Like. Like, it's like, oh, yeah, let me just build a set. My house, overnight. It's like, maybe I was meant to not have it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, that's what I would do if I won the lottery. I would give out grants for people to build podcast sets in their house and just start your own podcast.

[Tana Mongeau]

100.

[Trisha Paytas]

So fun. Even if no one watches. I love podcasts. I get, like, 30 views for real. Because they do them, like, every week and no one's watching, and they, like, live for it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

They're like, I don't care. I'm just gonna say whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

The pressures of the public almost, like, make it. Give Zach a podcast. He said clock it. I was like, get him a microphone.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love podcast together.

[Tana Mongeau]

Stop. Oh, my God. I'm not kidding, Zach. I think you have the potential.

[Trisha Paytas]

Clock it.

[Caller]

Hi, Tana. Hi, Trish. I love you guys so much. My question is, how do I tell my boyfriend I don't want to invite him to plants anymore? And not in the sense, like, I don't want to hang out with him. But I'm about to turn 21, and he doesn't turn 21 till six months after me. So it's gonna be hard for him to tag along the plan, considering, like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Me, my friends and just want to.

[Caller]

Go to clubs and he can't go in. So how do I tell him that he's no longer invited for, like, the next six months?

[Tana Mongeau]

That might be the funniest one we've received. That might be the funniest one we've received. Girl, get him a fake id.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, oh, wow, that's good advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I wasn't thinking that. I was like, you're 21. Like, sorry. Like, why does he get to come with you? It's not that serious.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's also true. Like, I don't know if it. She's making it so deep. Like, imagine sitting down with someone and being like, yeah, no, you're not coming tonight. You can't come anywhere. Like, he might just get it because he's not 21.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. He's like, yeah, stay home with my mom tonight. Like, that was what I do every night.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, what?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, it doesn't seem that serious when you're that young.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because even the question was so funny. Like, what do I tell him? He's just, like, not invited to the plans anymore.

[Tana Mongeau]

But can I just say I love her?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Queen Mia's at 21. Like, you know what I mean? And maybe it's sounding to me, if it's that deep to her, it's like, girl, maybe dump him. You're about to be 21. Like, maybe you can meet a 22 year old in the club. Like, like, it seems like you don't maybe like him that much.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Why can't you stay home for six months with him if you're, like, in love with him? Like, just wait till he turns 21 in six months.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or just go out once a week. He could have a boys night, you know, or he can, like, it's. I don't think it's this big, definitive. Like, I cannot hang out with you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Anymore in six months. We'll talk.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I think it's.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you planning to be at the day club, the afternoon club, the nightclub, every night? Me at 21?

[Trisha Paytas]

Vegas.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, me. It's fair. That was me at 21. Yeah. I don't think. I think you guys can still date, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I think it's fine. And he'll be. In six months, he's gonna be 21. It's gonna be all good. You guys can go club together. He'll be invited to the plans again.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wait for that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or get him a good fake id, sister. I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

That sounds scary. Like, the idea of getting a fake ID sounded so. Didn't, like, say by the belt, like, Zach Morris, like, literally get arrested for having a fake id. And I always scared me. I was like, oh, my God, don't get a fake.

[Tana Mongeau]

I liked using other people's IDs, which is actually like, a way bigger crime, like identity theft. Like, but is it.

[Trisha Paytas]

If they gave it to you?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's what I'm saying.

[Trisha Paytas]

Identity borrowing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's what I would do. Because then it's like, it's a real id and it would, like, scam. This is bad. Don't take this advice. Not love lying, but if you have a friend who looks just like you, that's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

You must really look like someone. I don't think I could have looked like anybody.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would always try to fake it, though, and, like, try to contour my face like them. Wherever you are, I love you. Thank you for letting me use your IDs.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's kind of nice, though.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they were just, like, blonde. We didn't really look alike. But I would just.

[Trisha Paytas]

Good enough.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would just be, like, moving really fast in front of the bouncer, hoping he didn't, like, look at me.

[Trisha Paytas]

That sounds terrifying. I was. I'm always scared of being in trouble. I can never do that, ever. Even to this day.

[Tana Mongeau]

Now I like him like that, but at the. At the time, it was the rush.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. I love that for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Scary, scary times.

[Trisha Paytas]

You need to feel something.

[Tana Mongeau]

But 21 wild. Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Invited to the plans. You were to every plan.

[Tana Mongeau]

Poor guy. Poor guy. Set him up. A boys night. Go out with your girls. He'll be 21 soon.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or dump him, because I think you might hate him.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's your advice to everyone who's called. Dump him. You might eat him. Everyone's single after this. We was singled out. Next.

[Tana Mongeau]

We have been telling a lot of people to break up with them.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know. Let's try and look for, like, the positive in this. Let's look at the next question. Let's, like, look at, like, the bright side, where it doesn't end and then breaking up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Let's hope that we don't get another call. Like the stabbing one. Like, let's hope we try to flip that positive.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm like, you're alive.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, you lost a couple pounds.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like me and I got stabbed.

[Tana Mongeau]

So insane.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, my stomach just got smaller. Sorry. That's so bad. Stop joking about that.

[Caller]

Hi. I don't know if this is the Trish and Tana podcast episode, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Girl, it is.

[Caller]

If it is, I have questions involving, you know, how to stop finding emotionally unavailable men and how to just find someone who is actually, you know, going to reciprocate what I put into the relationship. And. Yeah, I don't know Why? I just keep on being attracted to these types of men who end up switching up on me at the last minute and staying in these type of relationships. Probably something to do with self worth, but yeah, I love that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So sweet.

[Trisha Paytas]

What if we just gave out the wrong number? They're just calling like random people here. Like, I used to think that when somebody's like, call this number and it was like an 818 number. And I was like, oh my God, what is that? Like, you know, Jared Leto. Be like, call me. And I'd be like, what?

[Tana Mongeau]

And I would always think it was real too. I'd be like on the phone. Right. Did you call the Jonas Brothers? Have that for a while. I remember I spent like three days calling them one time. I love you, Jonas Brothers.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you actually?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I was a big like Jonas girl. Like when they had diabetes. I thought my life was over.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, you were one of those. Okay, I forget. God, this is what I'm saying. Like, it's like when guys date people. Like, I'm 36. Like to date a 26 year old would be wild. Where they're like, oh my God, I was so sad for Nick Jonas. I'd be like, what? Like, that's so random. You know what I mean? And we're only 10 years apart.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. You want to, like, I always think about that with macoa. Like, I like that we can reference the same things.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And then when it's just like, you realize the big age difference when it's like stuff like that. Because I was like, wait, what does that mean? I was like, oh, got it. Okay. But you know, he's alive and well, so thank God. Seriously, we love Nick.

[Tana Mongeau]

My, like teenage self would have ended it all if anything happened to the.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, they're good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they're doing great.

[Trisha Paytas]

Love claim to fame.

[Tana Mongeau]

What did she ask?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Stop funding emotionally.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh.

[Trisha Paytas]

We gotta do a positive. Stop fighting. Unemotionally available man. Unfortunately, you kind of just have to do trial and error, I feel. Is there a place to find emotionally available men?

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so. I mean, men. And emotionally available is almost a paradox. There are different cases, you know. Like, some men are emotionally available, don't get me wrong. But they're, in my opinion, way more emotionally unavailable men.

[Trisha Paytas]

So many. So many. I would go on a show like Married at First Sight, where it's like, you just get married right away and everybody just wants to be married. Yeah, yeah. And just get married and then just, you know, I love that show. I would Go on that show because they all just want to be married so bad. On that show. Maybe not so much Love is blind. I feel like they go on there for fame, but the married at first sight is, like, older people in, like, Colorado. It's like, people in their, like, late 30s, and they all are just, like, desperate to get married to anybody. They marry, like, a stranger, and I'm like, love this.

[Tana Mongeau]

So, yeah, like, they would, like, marry, like, a mailbox. I feel like on the Married at First Sight, people, they're close to that I.

[Trisha Paytas]

That. That honestly would have been me for sure. I would have been on that show. So maybe go on a show like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's honestly great advice. I was going to go on this whole tangent about how a lot of people use it as, like, a protection method. You know, like, people protect themselves, even subconsciously, by, like, actively seeking people who are not fully emotionally available because then they can't get us hurt. But you sound like you're aware of that.

[Trisha Paytas]

And that is step one, right? She's like, I think it's just, like, so hard to find. Also, maybe go to, like, the Midwest or, like, Alaska or something. Like, somewhere that's not la. New York.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I had to outsource, right?

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God, that's so true. You found, like, a Hawaiian. Yeah, let me go to Hawaii. Where you'll find love.

[Tana Mongeau]

Honestly. In the trees. I'm in the trees.

[Trisha Paytas]

Who's in the trees?

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe you'll find a man in the trees.

[Trisha Paytas]

What song is that?

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, in Hunger Games, they go. I think it's Olivia Rodrigo. She's like, I'm in the tree. Breeze. I'm in the breeze.

[Trisha Paytas]

I like that song.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm gonna.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's a good one. That was good. That was like, your song. I was like, it's good. You're literally in the trees right now. I keep looking.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm in the trees. I'm in the breeze. Footsteps on the ground. Yeah, I like the married at first sight trope. We don't tell people to do that enough.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would speed date, even.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I like that idea.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just ask every single person on your speed dating. Like. Like, are you emotionally available? Maybe lead with that?

[Trisha Paytas]

Just. Yeah, always. For sure. If you talk about marriage and kids on a first date and they're not scared, I think he's emotionally available. You know what I mean? It's guys who are not emotionally available. Oh, that's so scary. It's like, no, I just want to know if that's what you want.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's so true. Like, if you literally bring up marriage or kids and a man is, like, horrified, like, there's your answer. That was a banger advice, Ms. Paytas.

[Trisha Paytas]

Banger advice. Let's do one more in quickie.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm done.

[Trisha Paytas]

Always no quick, rapid fire answer.

[Tana Mongeau]

Always don't.

[Caller]

Hi, Trish and Tana. I have question for you. I have a boyfriend. Right. He's great and I love him.

[Tana Mongeau]

She's about to say she hates him.

[Caller]

Just don't know how to get him to be more of a freak. You know, he is a little twink and, you know, he can be some kind of freaky sometimes. But, you know, I have a lot of needs and me. He's just not freaky enough. I'm sorry.

[Trisha Paytas]

We just say break up with him. Dump him.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I'm realizing how much I even just like at meet and greets. Like, I'm realizing how much I tell people to break up with people. Like, I. They. Maybe there's.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're. We're anti breaking up. Let's try to stay together. This one's not as bad. I feel like this one is salvageable. You could stay together. Don't worry.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, I agree with that. I do agree with that. Oh, wow.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, how freaky do you want someone to be? Like, are you talking about, like, you know, getting her and, like, you know, doing, like. Or is it just, like, you want to be a spontaneous. Try a different position besides a starfish, you know, like, how freaky.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's true. I almost need context. I'm excited for the live calling because I feel like right now I would want to know that obviously you don't ever want to push someone's boundaries super, super hard. Like, and you want to make sure it's stuff they want to consent to and they're down for and stuff. But girl, get the chains and whips out. Bring them into the bedroom. This is almost. I feel like a lot of my answers lean more towards something I would say on the Patreon.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, open communication. Like, I think that it's just like, what's the worst someone can do? No. Say no. I don't want to do that. Like, that's true.

[Trisha Paytas]

If you're like, I really want to try this, I think you'll find there's so much more open to trying things again. I feel like we can be vanilla sometimes in my relationship. But it's like, I think sometimes when I ask for things where I feel like I'd be embarrassed before, like, a British and cosplay. I think it would be like, embarrassing most of the time, but when he feel like, when he sees what a freak brings out of me, where a two minute becomes a two hour session, it's like, you know what I mean? He's like, oh, I gotta do this more often. I'll dress up as the witch from Wicked, you know, whatever. This is like, okay, that is so true.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I even feel like with McCoy and I can think of an example right now, but just like, we end up trying things and like, liking them and you know what I mean? Like, just having that, that's what it is. It's like you introduce things, put on a movie, put on some. Put on 50 shades of gray girl, you know, show them that red room. Like, there's. I feel like it just. It's about introducing things and you can do it in like so many ways. Like, I'm really curious to know, like, what she wants. Like, do you want to be like, choked and put on mma, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, and some guys truly can't do that because I used to, I used to think I was into that, like, rough and like Moses just could never do that. Like, he's just like, I cannot do that. And I was like, oh, wait, maybe I, like, don't. I thought I, like, liked it. And I'm like, maybe I didn't. I don't know. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

So I think literally saying we're the same sometimes there's like a safe way.

[Trisha Paytas]

To do it for sure. But I think, like, there's something to be said about guys who don't want to do that too. Also, maybe start by, like, not calling him a twink. Maybe he, like, getting not excited by that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, yeah, maybe. I. I think you should approach this one with kindness and openness and, you know, respecting his boundaries, but hopefully finding some common ground. Yeah, and a lot of freakiness always isn't two sided, right? Like, you could just eat his. Right? Like you could just start doing some freaky on your own, right? I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's where we go into Patreon.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, let's get over to the Patreon.

[Trisha Paytas]

It gets there. All right, guys, if you want extra spicy, head over to patreon.com not loveline. If you guys have questions for Tana and I, here is the number on the screen. Leave them so we can answer.

[Tana Mongeau]

Call us about anything you want to know about. We've done a lot of loved ones these past two episodes, but I keep saying it like, I want to hear about best friends and all the things in your life. Who did you dirty? Who did you wrong?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

What's going on?

[Trisha Paytas]

Give us all the tea and we'll give you our best advice. So if you need someone to call, call. Not Loveline today.

[Tana Mongeau]

God, you're so good at this. I feel like a make a wish child. Bye, guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Bye.