Not Loveline – Episode Summary

Podcast: Not Loveline
Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trish Paytas
Episode Title: Confronting Your Cheating Ex + Accidentally Pregnant!?
Date: September 22, 2025

Overview

This episode of "Not Loveline" is a vibrant, candid, and often hilarious look at love, heartbreak, family drama, and the messiness of modern relationships. Tana and Trish, in pajamas and full comfort mode, field calls from listeners seeking advice on everything from step-family estrangement and accidental pregnancy guilt to navigating breakups in friend groups and wedding party conflicts. The show’s signature is balancing wisdom earned from real (often wild) life experience with off-the-cuff banter and relatability, showcasing the healing power of best-friend support.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Setting the Tone: Comfort (00:59–03:55)

• Hosts in Pajamas: The episode kicks off with Tana and Trish describing their ultra-relatable mood—comfy, tired, and just hanging out after a big week, illustrating that sometimes showing up authentically is enough.
• Catch-up Banter: They touch on insomnia, serial killer TV shows (Dexter vs. Joe from "You"), and acting in Hollywood as themselves (“Acting is so hard. It's actually so hard.” — Tana, 08:05), providing a segue into the calls.

1. Going No Contact with Family (10:04–15:45)

Caller: An 18-year-old who went no contact with an abusive stepmom after years of trauma, now questioning whether to reinitiate contact as others pressure her to "give grace.”

Hosts’ Advice

• Manage your expectations:
  • “If you are going to go back into this and talking to this person...put the bar in hell, right? And just accept them for who they are... Boundaries are very important.” (Trisha, 12:51)
• Don’t accept guilt from others:
  • “Don’t let someone project guilt onto you for choosing that because you obviously chose it for a reason.” (Trisha, 14:33)
• Child vs. Adult Responsibility:
  • “At the end of the day, this person was the adult... If you’re not willing to accept, you don’t have to because you were the child in this situation.” (Tana, 13:51)
• Nothing is linear:
  • “Even if you went no contact, broke it, and then wanted to go no contact again, that’s okay.” (Trisha, 15:45)

2. Accidental Pregnancy & Infertile Friend Guilt (17:16–21:32)

Caller: One week postpartum after "failed Plan B," feels immense guilt around her best friend's infertility.

Hosts’ Advice

• Feeling guilty is normal:
  • “That guilt, it’s almost like a reverse survivor’s guilt.” (Trisha, 18:00)
• Let friend set the pace:
  • For those struggling with infertility, “saying nothing to me was the best thing.” (Tana, 18:23)
• Respect boundaries, be sensitive:
  • “Maybe...be more wary of things I’m saying coming off as rubbing it in her face.” (Trisha, 18:44)
  • “Maybe don’t bring your child around if she’s really sensitive about it.” (Tana, 19:04)
• Just be there:
  • “She will be so grateful that that is your role in her life, no matter what happens.” (Trisha, 19:47)

Memorable Exchange

• “Not the Plan B not working! That’s crazy, right?” (Tana, 17:40)

3. Confronting a Cheating Ex at a Friend's Party (22:56–29:39)

Caller: Ex-girlfriend cheated, then left for the other woman now moving into the group. Both invited to a mutual friend's housewarming.

Hosts’ Reactions & Options

• Choose your own adventure:
  • Show up and “serve” (look amazing, bring a hot date — “subtle, devious jabs”), or skip entirely for peace.
    • “About ten years of my life, I would have showed up to that party, taken four shots, and caused hell.” (Trisha, 25:19)
• No shame in not attending:
  • “Housewarming sounds lame anyway. I’m not coming to a housewarming.” (Tana, 29:14)
• Petty suggestions (playful):
  • Trinkets of chaos like “leaving a hard-boiled egg in the bathroom cabinet” (Trisha, 29:27) or discussing the infamous “shrimp in the curtain rod” TikTok prank.
• Humanize the cheater issue:
  • They note how hard friend group politics can be and discuss the ethics of friend loyalty after cheating.

Notable Quote

• “If you can pull that off and genuinely feel unbothered...that’s a good thing to do.” (Trisha, 25:10)

4. Coping with a Fresh Breakup—Ex On Tinder in 12 Hours (31:10–35:05)

Caller: Devastated by ex-bf (of two years) dumping her, then immediately spotted on Tinder. Hurt, angry, lost.

Hosts’ Support

• Mourn, but recognize the gift:
  • “If that man is on Tinder...thank God he did it now and the trash took itself out.” (Trisha, 32:10)
• You are not pathetic:
  • “You’re so pathetic, he’s trying to hook up with other girls and you’re here... Thank God that happened because... God protecting me for real” (Tana, 33:32)
• It’s all part of the staircase:
  • “Each person is a stair, and eventually you get to the top...and that is where your partner...is.” (Trisha, 38:14)
• Don’t look back:
  • “What's meant to be, will be... Find peace in this breakup right now and...dive into that hobby you always wanted to.” (Trisha, 39:50)

Personal Reflections

• Both hosts share moving and embarrassing stories of their own post-breakup behaviors (Tana: “I would move next to them and then we'd literally break up a week later...” 37:19).
• The importance of not seeing time as wasted but as part of the process towards finding the right partner.

5. Wedding Party Drama: Suit or Dress? (55:58–62:03)

Caller: Bride-to-be wants her soon-to-be sister-in-law (who is gay) to “match” the bridesmaids; sister-in-law breaks down, wants to wear “men’s clothes” instead.

Hosts’ Perspectives

• Trisha’s approach:
  • “If for some reason...you don’t want to wear a pink suit...I’d want everyone to be comfortable...just ask: where would you like to stand? What would you like to wear?” (Trisha, 57:27)
• Tana’s nuance:
  • “It’s your wedding...if you had every guest wear white, and you don’t wear white, you can’t be in the photos. You know what I mean? That’s fair.” (Tana, 59:40)
  • “Give an option—do you want to be on his side and wear a tux? But you can’t be like, if you want to wear purple and everyone else is wearing black.” (Tana, 60:19)
• Find a flexible middle ground:
  • Let comfort and theme co-exist; be open, but don’t let your “vision for her” override her comfort.

Other Discussions & Memorable Moments

- Celebrity Dating Patterns & Hollywood Age Gaps (40:59–50:59)

• Discussion of men (Mike Majlak, Leonardo DiCaprio) who “never grow up” or only date younger women: “He never dated anyone over 25, and now he has a 26-year-old girlfriend. Maybe he’ll go to 27 next.” (Tana, 49:26)
• Analysis of arrested development and Hollywood stars being “stuck” at their peak ages.

- Adoption & Parenting Reflections (66:46–71:44)

• Inspired by Millie Bobby Brown adopting, both hosts reflect on their own thoughts about adopting, being older parents, intergenerational gaps, and personal family trauma.
• “I just think adoption is the most beautiful thing in the world...there’s so many people to save and give a beautiful life.” (Trisha, 67:15)

- Mutual Admiration & Show Impact (72:53–78:39)

• Emotional listener call lauding their dynamic: “Trish, I feel like you are healing Tana's inner child, and same for you, Trish. I feel like Tan is healing you in a sense.” (Caller “Sophia”, 73:53)
• Both hosts celebrate their growing friendship, fan community, and dream up the idea of a live variety show tour: “We want to do a telethon too.” (Trisha, 79:53)

Notable Quotes (by Timestamp)

• “Boundaries are very important...even if you go back into contact, it might mean that it's one call a week. You go into that interaction calm in who you are.” – Trisha, 12:51
• “Don’t let someone project guilt onto you for choosing [no contact]...it's equally right whatever you decide.” – Trisha, 14:33
• “That guilt, it’s almost like a reverse survivor's guilt…” – Trisha, 18:00
• “You have the right to cause hell, and you have the right to choose peace. Pick whichever one you want.” – Trisha, 27:08
• “If that man is on Tinder...the trash took itself out.” – Trisha, 32:10
• “Each person is a stair, and eventually you get to the top of that staircase, and that is where your partner is.” – Trisha, 38:14
• “It’s your wedding. I love that you’re flexible, but...if your vision for her hurts her feelings, maybe try to cater.” – Tana/Trisha, 59:40/60:19
• “I feel like Tana is healing Trish in a sense. And Trish is healing Tana’s inner child.” – Sophia (Caller), 73:53

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Family Estrangement / Step-parent No Contact: 10:04–15:45
• Pregnancy & Infertility Support: 17:16–21:32
• Confronting Cheating Ex at Party: 22:56–29:39
• Breakup & Ex On Tinder: 31:10–35:05
• Wedding Party Queer Inclusion Dilemma: 55:58–62:03
• Adoption/Parenting Reflections: 66:46–71:44
• Fan Impact & Not Loveline Tour Dreams: 72:53–78:39

Closing Tone

The episode closes on a heartwarming note, reflecting on the healing dynamic between Tana and Trish and the community they've built. The hosts invite the possibility of a live tour and express deep gratitude and mutual support, exemplifying how friendship and shared stories can be both an entertainment and a source of true healing.

For listeners:
You'll laugh, commiserate, and probably text your best friend after listening. Whether you're dealing with heartbreak or negotiating in-law drama, Tana and Trish promise that peace (and just the right hit of petty revenge) can coexist—and so can a little healing, even if it's accidental.