CRINGEY YOUTUBER APOLOGIES + IN LOVE WITH MY GAY BESTIE!?

Summary

Not Loveline

Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trisha Paytas

Episode: Cringey YouTuber Apologies + In Love With My Gay Bestie!?

Date: August 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this relaxed, pajama-clad episode, Tana and Trisha invite listeners into their chaotic, comedic corner of the internet to dish out (not-so-expert) love and life advice. This week, they cover everything from the phenomenon of “cringey YouTuber apologies” to navigating intense intimacy with a gay best friend, and reminisce on the wildest moments of YouTube culture and their own personal journeys. The conversation is packed with iconic tangents, heartfelt advice for callers, and classic Tana-Trisha banter—equal parts hilarious and honest.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Set & Vibes: Golden Girls, Pajamas, and Dream Photo Shoots (01:23–08:09)

• The hosts lean into cozy, “Golden Girls” energy, joking about their friendship in old age and fantasizing about communal compounds.
• They discuss their love for pajama episodes and elaborate (often animal print) set designs.
  • Notable: Trisha goes into detail about her desire for a new, wild set: “Maybe like a red wall with like a zebra heart that’s furry…” (04:22).
• Trisha shares her quest for a custom vinyl leopard dress inspired by Euphoria and the frustrations of not finding the right fabric.

2. The Playboy Photo Shoot & Separating Art From the Artist (09:01–16:15)

• Tana brings up wanting to hang a vintage Dolly Parton/Playboy photo in her house but feeling conflicted about Hugh Hefner's presence in it.
  • Tana: “Separate the art from the artist.” (09:38)
• Both hosts share inside stories of their own Playboy shoots, praising the brand’s evolution, but also poking fun at the “bring your own everything” approach now versus the Hefner era.
  • “I was paying to do this. But okay, yeah, that’s real.” – Trisha (13:39)

3. YouTube, Fame, and the Economy of Internet Drama (15:13–19:00)

• Discussion about the economics of being a Playmate or reality show contestant and the unfairness of prize/appearance fees vs. show profits.
• Trisha recalls AGT memories, the nature of reality TV fame, and reflects on big YouTubers making serious money from daily vlogging.

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Caller Advice Segments

Call #1: Intimacy with My Gay Best Friend

[19:59–25:42] Caller: Explains cuddling intimately with her gay best friend—wondering if it’s normal, emotionally dangerous, or a “perk.”

• Tana's Raw Reaction (21:15): “That made me horny. I need to get laid. Like, I was like, oh my god.”
• They discuss emotional/physical intimacy with gay friends, referencing similar stories of blurred friendship lines and real feelings.
• Tana warns about the risk of emotional investment: “If it keeps happening and you start to feel a type of way, you definitely have to bring it up or stop it.” (24:17)
• Trisha, voice of experience: “You end up breaking your own heart...I knew, there’s so many gay boyfriends I’ve had, I’m like, they led me on, whatever, but at the end, like, I knew.” (25:13)
• Both ultimately advise self-awareness, open communication, and prioritizing your own emotional health.

Takeaway:
These friendships can be fulfilling but come with risks—it’s easy to develop deeper feelings, so check in with yourself and be honest if the dynamic changes.

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Call #2: Not the Favorite Friend

[46:25–49:59] Caller: Recent grad feeling like “not the favorite” in her friend group post-college, reluctant to rely only on her boyfriend for closeness.

• Tana: “Really good friends will never have you questioning your place in their life.” (47:49)
• Both agree transitional periods are natural and this is an opportunity to explore new connections where you feel valued.
• Trisha: “Go where you feel good!” (49:13)

Takeaway:
Listen to your instincts, and don’t be afraid to seek new friendships. True friends reinforce your value without ambiguity.

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Call #3: Grieving Lost Love & Getting Back Out There

[51:50–58:14] Caller: Lost her boyfriend of 7 years in a traumatic event, struggling to date again at age 30.

• Tana: “Grief is love with nowhere to go...the person you lost will always be a part of you.” (53:16)
  “You want your next partner to be someone who says, this person is with us.”
• Trisha adds: “You’re already out there, already thinking about apps, you’re young, you deserve to find love again.” (55:53)
• They suggest embracing the timing, considering therapy, and seeking someone who respects her past and journey.
• Both stress: a supportive partner will welcome, not shy away from, her grief and memories.

Takeaway:
Healing is non-linear, but seeking love again is a triumph; the right partner will honor your story.

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Call #4: Instant Connection—Love Bomb or the Real Thing?

[58:45–71:22] Caller: After one great date, wonders—is this “love bombing” or just genuine chemistry? Asks how Tana and Trisha knew Moses/Mokoa were “the one.”

• Tana underscores caution and time: “As love bombing became a buzzword, a guy gets a girl flowers and it’s like, am I being love bombed? Time tells all.” (59:58)
• Trisha: “Even in our toxicity, there was something pulling us back together...he was constantly there for me at my lowest.” (63:00)
• Both highlight:
  • Consistency and how your partner shows up for you
  • Overcoming hardships together
  • Respect and admiration for each other as people
  • Feeling truly “seen,” no matter how messy or raw
• Personal stories abound: Trisha describes Moses Googling how to love someone with borderline personality because he wanted to understand her; Tana recalls instantly “gagging” for Mokoa and engaging in deep conversation from the start.

Takeaway:
Real connection isn’t just initial chemistry—it’s how someone invests, shows up in hard times, and makes you feel truly accepted. Love bombing feels intense but isn’t sustained; the real thing grows through challenges and empathy.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “We’re not experts and we’re not love therapists—but we are hot…and gorgeous and broken.”
  – Trisha & Tana (02:29)
• Tana on Jaclyn Hill drama:
  “People might as well have been in the street, car alarm blaring, screaming like The Purge over Jaclyn Hill’s lipsticks. That was so crazy.” (36:15)
• Trisha on internet mob mentality:
  “2019 was unhinged for everybody. I was like, what is happening?” (36:54)
• Tana on relationships:
  “Your true best friendships in life will never have you questioning it.” (49:27)
• Trisha on lasting love:
  “He saw me for more than just surface—even if I had a lot wrong with me, he’s like, God made you in a perfect way.” (67:14)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:23 – “Golden Girls” energy, pajama episode chat
• 09:01 – Art vs. artist: Playboy/Dolly Parton/Feminism
• 19:59 – Gay best friend intimacy call
• 46:25 – Not the favorite friend post-college call
• 51:50 – Dating after bereavement call
• 58:45 – “Love bombed or real thing?” caller
• 36:15 – Jaclyn Hill mass hysteria/apology videos tangent

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Episode Tone

Unfiltered, playful, and sincere—a mix of wild honesty and warmth. Both hosts are self-aware and willing to poke fun at themselves and their pasts, while also offering genuine empathy to listeners.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is an encapsulation of what fans adore: wild yet relatable tangents, honest stories, and non-judgmental, funny takes on tough questions. Whether dissecting YouTube scandals, discussing trauma, or giving hard-won advice, Tana and Trisha leave listeners with both laughter and real validation.

Transcript

[Trisha Paytas]

Get yourself ready for a trip through McDonaldland. There's fake shaped volcanoes.

[Tana Mongeau]

You'll even find a French fry patch.

[Trisha Paytas]

Now just turn around and see if.

[Tana Mongeau]

You won't find a hamburger patch as you're heading for. Order the McDonaldand meal today and get the Mount McDonaldland Shake with your very own character souvenir kit. You say you'll never join the Navy, that you'd never track storms brewing in the Atlantic, and skydiving could never be part of your commute. You'd never climb Mount Fuji on a.

[Trisha Paytas]

Port visit or fly so fast you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Break the sound barrier. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Start your journey at navy.com, america's Navy, forged by the sea. Tarte gave me that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Sent you this to your birthday is diabolical. They had it out for me. People like people.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was mass hysteria. Like, people might as well have been in the street, car alarm blaring, screaming like the purge over Jaclyn Hill's lipsticks. That was so crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Hello. Hi.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're taking calls.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're gonna take so many calls.

[Tana Mongeau]

Great to see you too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. We're feeling. We're just like, you know, like when women, like, get to be 80 years old, right? Either they have a widowed or they're divorced or whatever, and they're like, we're gonna live together. There's a show. What is that show with old ladies that live together. Grace and Frankie.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think I love Golden Girls. I've never seen Grace.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, we're kind of Golden Girls, which is crazy because Golden Girls were, like, in their 50s, which is, like, insane. I was like, wait, we're giving Golden Girls. We're giving Garrison Frankie.

[Tana Mongeau]

I never want anything to happen to Moses and Makoa. And I honestly do believe will outlive us. Like, I'm being so honest, but at the off chance. And I don't even want to say that. I just. How fun would it be if we lived together?

[Trisha Paytas]

We can live together with them, I guess. So manifest there.

[Tana Mongeau]

Imagine our compound.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, Time to get that compound there. One time we talked about that, I was like, I want to get a house in my. You're like, should we go in on one together? I'm like, that's like a big commitment. But okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would show my property with you. I like, I trust you to buy property with you. We would that up.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I would love it, but we just have such different lifestyles. Like, you're such a person. Like, you love people around, and I'm like, So I don't want anyone around.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is true. That is true. I am like. But codependent. Hate the silence. I'm applying my lip liner right now.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know. I love it while you do that. Welcome to Not Loveline. You guys, we're not experts and we're not love therapists, but we are hot.

[Tana Mongeau]

And gorgeous and broken.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love that. That's better. And if you want to call us and ask us your question, call this number here. We have 15, 000 calls waiting, but what's one more? Devin loves going through calls.

[Tana Mongeau]

And today we are taking your calls and we are so excited.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're so excited. And also we have a patreon. Patreon.com not love. I got like wild. We do a little mukbang. It got a little crazy. We were talking.

[Tana Mongeau]

We were talking a lot about, honestly, our personal. We really overshare personally over there. Even if you're maybe not into the calls or the advice, like, if you want to know about our spicy lives or things we have done in our 90 lives, we. We overshare.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was spicy. It was spicy. I was. My mouth was on fire. I was dying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Habanero wings and condoms. That's what we were talking about. We were talking about our. Our history with condoms. We love protection and life. It's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Go subscribe patreon.com not loveline. We're in our pajamas. We're just feeling. I mean, I just feel like we're just like literally, like we're tired. Ladies.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

By me.

[Tana Mongeau]

You do.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because it gives you like you're in Miami. Like you're just like 80 years old.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just we're little jungle girlies today. And I love that. I am 80 years old. I've always said that. And I love. People love our pajama episodes too. I was reading the comments and so many of you guys were like, I love this. It feels like I'm just chilling with you guys. So of course Trisha ordered 50 pair of pajamas.

[Trisha Paytas]

We have so many. I was pulling them out. Skims, tiger print, zebra print. Because I love mix matching, like animal prints too. I think it's just so funny and it like clashes and crazy. I want to get something new here. Let us know too here. Because we've talked about this before, but for real, I want to get something. I don't know if it's something fuzzy like lime green and purple because I always use that for our hearts or is it something like animal print? Do we do like fuzzy zebra?

[Tana Mongeau]

I would. I think Something red could be cool too. Like, I love leopard and red.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. Love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, crazy scary. But I like it like a furry red wall.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. Like, red and zebra could be cool. Yeah, Maybe like a red wall with like a zebra heart that's furry or.

[Tana Mongeau]

Something with a ne with a neon in the middle and then glitter and then like just every possible sequins.

[Trisha Paytas]

This will clash with it because it's like red and. Yeah, yeah. I love this.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do. I love it as is. But I know you've been wanting to.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yeah. I want to change it up just for fun. Because also this was kind of like.

[Tana Mongeau]

A last minute thing and you love a set like that is. That's my girl's thing. Okay. She loves a set. Let her cook. She's never done. She's always adding something.

[Trisha Paytas]

Drip Dome is coming for one week in October and one week in December because I need my Halloween sets and maybe they'll come do this. And then I need my Christmas anniversary sets. And Christmas.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Oh, my God. What do you guys do for your anniversary? Like, what?

[Trisha Paytas]

It's December 11th, so we always do. Every year we dress up in. Since we got married and I made black wedding dress and it's black tux. We always do. Now we do pictures with the kids. Drip Dome did a great set. It was better than our wedding. They did like a chapel. They did like a chapel with, like, snow on the ground. And then we put Malibu and Elvis in their black dresses with me. And then we just do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And this is like Aquaman's first year and all the, like, photos. That's so exciting.

[Trisha Paytas]

We'll get him a little black tux. He'll be like five months by then. Yes. And I always love to put a little recap. Like, what are we, four years married? So I'll be like four years married and three kids later.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's really cute.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love a photo shoot, as you know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we do. They're so fun. They're just so fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was trying to get these. If anyone's out there that's like a designer, I'm trying to get those plastic leopard dresses made, like from the Euphoria. The girls. Barbie and Alexa's. Her name is that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, Alexa Demi. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

They have those plastic leopard dresses. And every designer I work with, I was like, can you find this fabric? And, like, there's no, like, vinyl leopard print fabric. I wonder.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow. I wonder if we buy, like, custom or something. Yeah. Or like, buy a bunch of the dresses. So we have the fabric and Then have them like remake.

[Trisha Paytas]

What do you mean by a bunch of the dresses?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like they wore those dresses that's made out of that fabric.

[Trisha Paytas]

It must be custom because I googled like vinyl. Like I would love to buy when I could always alter it if it didn't fit me. But there's no like vinyl plastic leopard dresses out there in the market.

[Tana Mongeau]

Damn. We need help.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, so let us know. I hit up everyone. Like that goes like downtown LA or just anywhere that no one could find these. So. And it needs to be vinyl. It needs to be vinyl. Cause like, well, we have the sequins. And I was like, no, but then it's just a leopard dress. We need the see through one.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I agree with that.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is probably custom, but I really want to do that photo shoot because where'd that pillow go?

[Tana Mongeau]

We were just so funny for being in jeans and like being Calvin Klein. Because when you really think about like, like what, what the show is like, well, this is so like trad wife. You know what I mean? I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

The original inspo was. You remember Pamela?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it was from the 90s and it's Pamela just being so hot. She's wearing like these denim jeans with like a black bra and like a white cutoff and like this blue thing. Like she looked. So you were giving Pam.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know what I was like, everything. I was giving Cracky on the corner.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, you actually look so slay. And that's why I felt sad. I don't want it to be like, oh, you're hot and I'm so ugly in this photo.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I really not even sure you're mogging me. I just think that it was too like Loveline is kind of like, oh, nighttime raunchy. Like we talk about the craziest on Patreon. Like it's very.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it can sexy. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like there's some edge to our set and like, well, there should be some edge to our shoe, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. So next time. So yeah, we'll do that. That's one idea. But we can also do other ones. Do this one. It will haunt me forever. And the fact that who did Tarte give you this? Who gave you this pillow?

[Tana Mongeau]

Tarte gave me that sent you this.

[Trisha Paytas]

To your birthday is diabolical. They had it out for me. They had it out for me for real. I was like, what do you mean? Why are my eyes sunken in view?

[Tana Mongeau]

But yeah, these photos, we want new one.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's no one's Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think you look gorgeous.

[Trisha Paytas]

Hate it. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was feeling.

[Trisha Paytas]

I hated it.

[Tana Mongeau]

But one thing about you is, like, you. You stand on it. Like, since the moment she's seen these photos, she's like, this is not my photo.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I never like with you. I never want to be, like, pessim ever. So I was just like, I hate it. Like, I said it'd be, like, so honest. But then I was like, but this is all we had. So I was like, whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I think it's good. I think we're. We're going to redo it and we're going to have a new, new little era. And that's always fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

We love a new era.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love an excuse for a photo shoot and, like, a change of the brand.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

All right, should we take a call? Because we love our callers and we love giving advice to them so much, even though we never do.

[Trisha Paytas]

No. We gave last episode. We gave that one question. We gave it our all.

[Tana Mongeau]

We did. We did.

[Trisha Paytas]

We gave good advice.

[Tana Mongeau]

We did. We gave that call 10 calls worth of.

[Trisha Paytas]

Question number one.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Devin's in a Hannah Montana shirt. That's so iconic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just wanted a flunt and you're vibing. I love comfy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you take an outfit of the day in it?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but it's funny you just said that.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel like I need to take a picture in your mirror.

[Tana Mongeau]

We need.

[Trisha Paytas]

I need to get that mirror's the best. Is it? I think the background's like, you all my mirrors. I realized even today I took a one in the mirror and I realized the background of all my mirrors are just ugly. Like, I need to find a cute background. So when you're taking a pic, were you telling me in your house?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, I really want to put a photo in the back. So that did.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And I was like, oh, actually, that's so smart.

[Tana Mongeau]

I found this photo of Dolly Parton, but Hugh Hefner's in it, and I can't decide. It's a photo of Dolly Parton getting dressed. Hugh Hefner's, like, dressing her to be a Playboy bunny, and then there's a real, like, guy in a bunny suit in the back of the photo. The photo is so sick. But I'm like, do I really want old? It sucks because the Hugh Hefner, it was so camp, you know, Playboy was so camp and like, whatever. But now with all the knowledge I have, I'm like, I. I'm one who.

[Trisha Paytas]

Can kind of Separate it. Yeah. To me, it's like, right. It's also kind of your brand, but also it's like Elvis. Like, I really love Elvis Presley. And everyone's like, but he met Priscilla when she was born. Like, I get it. Like, gross. But also, like, just different time. And it's like, not how I. Like, that's never I thought of him and how no one thought of him.

[Tana Mongeau]

Separate the art from the artist.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Because also, that was, like, in the 50s and he's also dead, and it's just like, I just know his music.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't really get all that, even with Hugh Hefner. It's not like I'm accrediting. Like, Playboy was so successful because of the amazing, hot, beautiful, sexy women, you know, and, like, who they were and their personalities and girls next door and their personalities.

[Trisha Paytas]

And Dolly is the main focus of the photo. So it's like, yes, he's there because he's a Q. Hefner. I mean, if it was someone, like, currently problematic, like Harvey Weinstein or something, you know, it's like, imagine you walk in my house. That's what I'm saying. If it's something, like, current. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Or even, like a Chris Brown or something. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, it's like, oh, that'd be even more diabolical. You would have to admit me somewhere. You'd know I was off.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right. So that's what I'm saying. Like, in that case, I don't necessarily know if I separate art from that, because it's, like, it's so recent. So, like, now. But something from, like, the 50s and someone who died 30 years before I was born. I'm like, not.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. I was like, whatever. Yeah. Dolly Parton's so iconic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, especially that shoe. Is she wearing, like, is she have like, the little poofy hair and the.

[Tana Mongeau]

She has the bun thing on.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's what I wanted to do for my Playboy cover. And they're like, no. And I was like, what do you mean, no?

[Tana Mongeau]

I. Trisha. It was so funny, me pitching my Playboy cover. It, like, it came out.

[Trisha Paytas]

How have you not seen this?

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'll show it to you. It just. I loved it, though. And it was such an honor. It was such an honor. I can't stress that enough. Like, it's on my Instagram.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wait, recent? When did this come out? Because I was, like, looking for it. I was like, when is this coming out?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'll show you. But I wanted to do Pamela Conehead Makoa so bad. Me and Makoa. And then.

[Trisha Paytas]

And what happened?

[Tana Mongeau]

We just. This is it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Look.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, see? You scroll right past it. You didn't even think it was it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, wait. This is so different. I love it. But, I mean, like, you were like, oh, I want to do paintings.

[Tana Mongeau]

They don't do remakes. Like, they're.

[Trisha Paytas]

What do you mean? That's all they were doing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know, and you should have heard me on the calls. I was like, trish, I did have remakes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Everybody did. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then they were like, okay, okay, we can do a remake, but we can't do that remake because Paramount or whoever it was for a movie, so someone owned it. And I did understand that.

[Trisha Paytas]

So why can't they do remakes?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I'm gonna do that for Halloween now. Actually, I just realized the COVID I.

[Trisha Paytas]

Hated the most when they pitched that to us to do the cone head thing, and I was just like, absolutely not. That's.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know why. I think it's so sickening for Mokoa to do because his identity and look is so much to do with his hair.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right?

[Tana Mongeau]

So, like, no hair.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is cute, though. So this is not a recreation?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, we just they. A backdrop in a dream. A backdrop and a stylist in a dream.

[Trisha Paytas]

But you can be the mood board. Like, now you can be the mood. Like, you know, you created your own thing. I do love that. This is cute. This is giving.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, it was cute and an honor no matter what, regardless. I mean, it's like, oh, I wanted to do the conehead for the COVID of Playboy. And then, you know, it's like, yeah, shut up.

[Trisha Paytas]

But what happened? You just. Were you gonna say something? You didn't like it, or you do? I like it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like it. I just. I wanted to be more out there. More? Yeah. Making more of a splash, I guess. But I guess the splash was me doing Playboy, and that's fine.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was it at the Playboy offices?

[Tana Mongeau]

And I think so. Like, we went down because the office is cool.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you go in and it's like, sky paths. You're okay. Look, all this Playboy memorabilia. The. The bathroom, the cafeteria. Everything's bougie. And then you, like, go down like a dungeon. Yeah, I was sweating when I was there. I was like, I'm sweating. There's no fans.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, and it was so funny because I bring so many people with me, right? Like, I had, like, my photographer. Like, someone was assisting her. My stylist. Someone's assisting her. My managers were there. Like, my Assistant. Like, everyone's there. And then there was just one Playboy intern. Like, that was it. And it was just like.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't think there was even a Playboy person there. It was like me and Carrie Ann.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And we're like. And my makeup artists.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, it's just. I can't. It's so funny comparing it to the time where obviously like Hugh Hefner was like in the room and like, whatever.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like Holly Madison's directing you. Like, it's just such a different time. Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

100. I also appreciate Playboy's progression now. You know, they're. They're so progressive and amazing now.

[Trisha Paytas]

Love that. But then they're like, let's budget cut now. And I was just like, wait, but you're a Playboy and you do everything. Like, my only. My only thing was with the Playboy shoe. I love doing shoots because I do love being like style, like polyester will style you and sets and all that stuff like that. But Playboy was so funny because you had to like provide everything. Like you bring your own outfits, bring your own hair and makeup. I was like, I'm paying to do this.

[Tana Mongeau]

But okay, yeah, that's real.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because I had to pay my glam. I had to pay. I paid everyone except for the photographer.

[Tana Mongeau]

100. But that's, that's what it's like out here for us. Teetering the line. Brand safe girlies. We gotta pay to do like that. Unfortunately.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Fortunately, I should say.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right, right.

[Tana Mongeau]

But also thinking about it, Playboy was such a multi grillion dollar corporation because men were buying the magazines. Men are no longer buying the magazines. They have like center, like, you know what I mean? But other than like clothing being bought by like the Y2K baddies, where are they really? Where are they really bringing raking in.

[Trisha Paytas]

The cat and even that. Holly actually de. Influenced me. She just did a tick tock about how dolls kill. Basically like ripped off like their pink pajamas. Did you see her whole tick tock? There was these soft pink pajamas that they loved. But it was part of the nights when they would do those like sex parties with Hugh Hefner. So there's like a lot of trauma to them. And she's like, they basically just like ripped off everything like girls next door. And like, they didn't get like any credit and like, they wanted to do it whatever. So it's kind of like the influence me because I used to love buying Playboy stuff. But like you said, also just with the reputation of like Hugh Hefner and stuff, you're just like, I Don't know. I did the shoot too because it's like, it is iconic, but yeah, cover.

[Tana Mongeau]

Of Playboy is so iconic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, but there's a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's a layered. It's a layered thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

But can I tell you, like, yeah, like men were buying the catalog and like that's like the same argument for of as like people making money because men buy it. But I always take the girlies over men being like the consumer because to me that is like, you know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

100. Because the other ones, like the man was making the magazine and exploiting the women and like, did women even get paid to be in Playboy? I bet.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, I think like Playmates would get like 10,000. I think even Play with the year was like a hundred thousand dollars plus a car. Yeah, but that's not like a lot, you know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I think maybe for how much.

[Tana Mongeau]

It'S making to play the Playmate of the year magazine is going to make a. I can't even imagine at that time.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, I know. And it's like even to model, I think maybe they got like 25,000, I think is what I remember for Playmates if you're. But yeah, it is. It is kind of wild that like the magazine was.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because I always think about that like corporate if I. I mean, I guess that's why I don't run a big corporation. But even Love island was blowing my mind because the prize being $100,000 to me is so funny. Like, you know, one episode of that show makes. Makes a millions.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I guess it's like now they're getting podcasts and stuff. So I guess they're like thinking like it's exposure and it gets. It is.

[Tana Mongeau]

And all the people are gonna make. But still like 250.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, give it. Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like each person gets 125 at least. Crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because America's gonna sounds like a million. And that's like dog acts.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's like this is like your whole life and mental health is on the line. That dog's gonna million dollars. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so funny. Funny.

[Trisha Paytas]

I would audition for America's Got Talent again.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, I would do anything. I missed your TV era.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was in two and there was a girl who was like, really good and talented. She was like 8 when she was first on the show. And she came back at like a 28 year old. I'm like, oh my gosh, we remember you. And I was like, I wonder if I go on if they're like, oh my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

They remember you. Yes. And you should do the same thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely. Just, like.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what's funny, though? Now, they would probably, like, send you through.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, absolutely. Yes. That gave me the confidence because Tom Sandoval auditioned this year for America's Got Talent. Like, he just went on with his band, and they're like, this is amazing. Yes, you're going through. And I was like, that's crazy, because.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, in what world is Tom madlib of a sentence? You're lying. Tom Sandoval auditioned for America's Got Talent.

[Trisha Paytas]

With his band, and he's saying, oh, it was kind of like a hard song. And they were just like, that was amazing. And I was just like, this has to be a joke. And I'm like, But like you said, I think I went on, like, Howie Mandel is the only one who was still on from when I was on, because when I was on, it was Howard Stern, Howie, and Sharon. And Howie has definitely talked about me on his podcast before. I don't care for him, but I do think if I went back on, he would recognize me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And probably I wonder if he would put me through because I talked so much. Adam. He's like, absolutely not.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I wonder.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, he would, because he puts, like, he's kind of the mean one now. Simon's the nice one. And how he's kind of the one that, like, hates on, like, little kids.

[Tana Mongeau]

Dancing crazy Simons in the. In his p. Sarah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, Simon's like, literally the worst acts ever. He's like, you're through As a golden buzzer again for, like, literally, like, oh.

[Tana Mongeau]

My God, I missed that. Like, Simon Cowell peak American Idol, crushing dream.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. I remember one year, she's A lot of big people made it through, and he's like, we're gonna need a bigger stage this year. I was like, that's diabolical. That's crazy. Yeah. It was so wild. He was wild. He was a little out of pocket.

[Tana Mongeau]

He was. He was diabolical. Like, truly. I mean, obviously, that's why it worked.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, now he wears sunglasses because the lights are too bright, so Karma, right? Right. I mean, he's not blind. He's. You know, he's just being so funny today. I don't know. I was just excited to see you and not be sad. I was like, wow, let me bring my A game today.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, feet up.

[Trisha Paytas]

Just, like, I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Sometimes I swear, too, like, I just sit and watch you. Like, I forget that I'm also on this show. It's like, I'm watching a show.

[Trisha Paytas]

You are the show. You are the whole show. We'll take a call. Yeah. Here she goes. I love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

These are fun. They're like Victoria's Secret strips. Oh, thanks. Wow. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm obsessed with you. I do. I love our pajamas. I just feel like. But then I start sprawling all weird.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Like, why would they put zebras on here?

[Tana Mongeau]

Why were my dogs grabbing Trisha Paytas?

[Trisha Paytas]

No, your feet are beautiful. Over.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Sleepover. That is the vibe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. Who needs help?

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, before you leave, we have to do that. Tick tock. And because we're in pajamas, you probably don't know because you don't. Are you on Hamilton? Tick tock.

[Tana Mongeau]

No.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I am so excited.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is it?

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like Alexander, come back to sleep. And it's like in pajamas. And it's like, I got an early me. It's like when.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I saw you do it with Malibu.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, we gotta do one of those.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wait. I'm so excited.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know what we're doing. You just gotta, like, hop out the window or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love hopping out windows because we're in the pajamas.

[Trisha Paytas]

All right, before you go, let's schedule five minutes to do that before you have to leave because I know you have to.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you to Tinder for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline with their new feature, Double Dates. Meeting new people just got way more fun. Because now you don't have to do it alone.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's right. Tinder's new Double Date feature lets you and your bestie team up, match together, and find a pair that fits both your vibes. Just tap the Double Date icon in the app and you'll see profiles built for two. When two pairs match, the whole crew connects and the group chat begins.

[Tana Mongeau]

Double Date is a new way to keep the chat fun and is a low pressure way to meet people. Scope the profile, send memes, keep the chat fun, keep the energy up when you're out together and laugh about it all with your bestie. Whether it turns into a fun memory or something more, it's always better when you're in it together.

[Trisha Paytas]

So try the all new Tinder double Date because everything's better with friends.

[Tana Mongeau]

Explore all the possibilities. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you, Tinder, for sponsoring today's episode. We love you and we're down to Double Date. And you should be too.

[Caller]

I have been friends with my gay best friend for a few years, and we have both been single for at least, like, a year. He is definitely 100% gay, and we're 100% not attracted to each other. Like, that's not at all a question. And like I said, we're both single. Back in the day, we used to, like, sometimes we'd, like, cuddle a little bit early. Cold hands when we were walking, or, like, if we watched a movie, we'd cuddle a little bit or whatever. So, like, physical touch is something that we've always just kind of had as, like, a little love language or whatever, which is fine. But the other night we had a sleepover, and I was in his bed, and he started holding me and, like, massaging my back. And, like, we were cuddling and we literally fell asleep together. And this wasn't just, like, head on the shoulder. Like, it was full on, like. Like, holding each other and cuddling and stuff like that. Like, it was very intimate. And, like, had I been with a partner, I would have been like, damn. Like, this is romantic as hell. Just my gay best friend. And I don't know, like, I almost felt like I was cheating, but I was like, this is stupid. There's literally nobody I could be cheating on. But, like, I don't know, I just felt weird about it. Like, kind of crazy. And, like, it was really nice. And I just don't know. Like, is this one of the perks of having a gay best friend? Do you just get to do, like, this, or am I weird and I need to get my together and stop. Thank you. Lots of love.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. Wow. Wow.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay. That made me horny. I need to get laid.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because, like, I was like, oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I was like, I know. Same. Especially when it's like, with your gay best friend. I'm like, oh, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like, oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like the ultimate fantasy.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like. Yeah. Okay, hold on, let me compose myself.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right. Crazy. I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

That was crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not Loveline. I'm like, it's been like eight weeks for me. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

I. We need to get. I'm holding out for Trisha, though. And then we're gonna do it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Tell me when the diaper's off.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. This is crazy. This is tough because you. I'm. I'm inferring here. Okay, I am. I'm definitely reading between the lines, but I feel like if you're calling in about it and the way you're kind of Talking about it like you. She might have felt a little something. I'm not saying like full feelings, like for whatever that would make me too. I'd be like, like hello? Yeah, like that's hard. I had a friend that this was happening to. Like her gay and her, her and her. My girlfriend and her gay best friend. They were just like. They had this relationship that was so like it was platonic. It was 100 platonic. They did not sleep together. Like, you know what I mean? But like it also wasn't 100 platonic. You know what I mean? It was so like intimate and like hookupy and like I don't even.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was it hookup like touching? Yes. And like sometimes I think even intimacy like, like I have like I have this one friend and she's like obviously like falling as me. Everything that. But it's also just like emotionally. I was like, wait, I feel like emotionally connected to this person. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But then, but physically is worse. I. But then I watched their relationship get to this point where the one person was obviously gay and then I think the other person was a little too invested and maybe had this person centered in their life more than a friend, you know what I mean? More than the rest of their friends. Like almost like how this, this person's emotions and feelings and all of these things centered. Like it was her boyfriend, you know what I mean? But like it wasn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was a gay guy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Anyway, like it ended up being like.

[Trisha Paytas]

A. I don't know, it's tough because we talked about this before and I love their story. But like Gabby, Nikki and Gabby, like her boyfriend was her gay best friend and now they're like full on in a three year relationship, intimate everything. And I was like, wow, it really can true.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess, I guess that's true. That is really true. So a part of me is like my. I don't know what the I would do. I would.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know why when it comes to straight men, I'm like not a P at all. And I'll write anything on my mind. But I'm thinking like if this was like my gay bestie, like I'd be.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I wouldn't know what to say. It's almost like harder because like you are like connected on like a deeper level. Like you said, straight guys is almost like it's like, could be just sex, whatever, but it's like you're also like connected emotionally because it's your gay best friend.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. But Then it's like, this is like, honestly one of the very first Not Loveline questions. I'm genuinely saying I'm stumped. And I. I don't ever really feel stumped.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, it's a tough one.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, holy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Again, she doesn't have anybody. Right. Okay. So, yeah, I don't know, I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe like, see what happens again. Right? Like, was this just like a one off and maybe you both were just like, like feeling maybe not lonely, but you know, like just down for the intimacy and like, maybe. I don't know. If it keeps happening and you start to feel a type of way, you definitely have to bring it up or stop it. I think if I got too deep in this situation, I would get on a dating app. That's what I would do. I would have to start seeing someone who was interested in me too, to like, re center my ideas. And that's bad advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

So I don't know, I.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bad advice.

[Trisha Paytas]

I've been with so many of my. I wouldn't say gay's best friends were just gay friends. And it's just always ends in heartbreak because, like, you know, you know what it is. But still, especially as, maybe as a girl, I like, was way too into it. I read way too into it and I was just like, you know, things happen when you're just like on drugs or drinking or whatever. They're not even on that. But you just end up breaking your own heart. You know what I mean? Because it's like, you knew. There's so many gay boyfriends I've had there. I'm like, like, they led me on, whatever. But I'm like, but at the end, like, I knew, Like I knew, you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Know, but that's hard because you, like, want to believe and like, it's the dream. Like you're emotionally in tune. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like I said with Gabby, like, I watched her story, I was like, oh, that could have happened for me. And I never did. And I was like, okay, that was my own fault. Fault. But I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

But her situation, I would say is more rare. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, I. I think just be careful of protecting your emotions, knowing what it is. If it keeps happening, definitely talk about it or try to, like, dial back a little bit because you just don't want to end up getting hurt.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or go for it and maybe it ends up being like the most insane, hot happily ever after story.

[Trisha Paytas]

You never know. Hannah's Toxic tips is coming back on Spotify.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I tried. That was such a Weird time.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love that for you. I'm really like, two podcasts at once. And I. Okay, just getting all the podcasts. I was so. I've been jealous of you so many times throughout your career, but only one, really. I had one podcast ending, and I remember I came on canceled, and I was just like, I wish I had two podcast offers. Like, and it was like, Bougie with the sets. You know, I love a set and I never had sets. I was like, wow, Bougie.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I was like, so funny.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you did two big ones.

[Tana Mongeau]

Toxic Tips. So it's truly exactly what the name says. Like, I was getting on every week just, like, drunk at 3:00pm Telling people.

[Trisha Paytas]

To, like, cheat junk at 3:00pm is kind of wild.

[Tana Mongeau]

But, yes, that's what I'm saying.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, how far you come because you give such good advice now.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I remember it was when I was dating Chris Miles and he'd be there and we'd just be, like, fighting live on Tana's Toxic tv.

[Trisha Paytas]

Where did it air? It was just audio.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it was audio on Spotify and it was live.

[Trisha Paytas]

And was he on a mic?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, we. I would just do it into my phone and that's.

[Trisha Paytas]

There's.

[Tana Mongeau]

There's something about, like, cameras and that, like, keep you mentally right. You're like, I'm filming a show I'm on. Like, it's just into my phone and I'm like, cheat girl.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, oh, my God, that does sound. Is it still up?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm sure people could find it. It's like, I don't. But I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

They took mine down the Dish of Church Podcast one took it all down. I was like, cost you nothing to put that up. And they, like, just deleted all the episodes. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's good for the branding and that, you know? But it's on Spotify.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, it is.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I should, like, react to one of those.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's a page you have for you. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's like. Because I just know it's diabolical.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do it this week. We just react to you on our Patreon. I'm like, I don't understand, like, what the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not at all. Get your bag. I eventually, like, I've been thinking about that if I were to have a solo Patreon, what I'm going to be doing. And you are so smart with, like, reacting. Like, Brooke and I were both. Because we've always done them together, and we both were talking about, like, what are. If we do solo Patreons. Like what, what is the content?

[Trisha Paytas]

You just like run out of stuff at some point because we were acting to me reacting to Oscar. Then at some point we're like, let's just react to Tanacon with Shane. We were just like reacting to stuff that wasn't ours.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's good. I mean, people love a reaction. I love watching people react. Like my favorite creators react.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love doing it. I do love doing it. We always like order food and just like react for like an hour.

[Tana Mongeau]

Half.

[Trisha Paytas]

We did reacted to YouTuber apologies for four minutes. It was like a four minute video. But it took us like two hours to like get through it because you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Were pausing and like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I Love it though. YouTuber Apologies are crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. Like, oh, yeah. Logan Paul's forest one in the hotel room.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love. The guys are always like a minute. His was like a minute long. The worst was like, there's a girl. I don't even know who she was. She was like a tick tocker. Oh, God. And she had a serious allegation. I think her. Yes. Sienna May. You know her. I didn't know this. And her boyfriend or, or some guy. Yeah. Oh, you know, you know the lore. I love this one.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. That's a very layered situation.

[Trisha Paytas]

But her apology video and it was like, it's crazier because the more serious the crime could be or whatever, the, whatever, you know, is the crazier. The apology videos were so like this girl, Sienna.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Her apology video was her like doing like an interpretive dance and she was doing like a voiceover over it. And I was like, this is the craziest apology.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know if I've ever seen that.

[Trisha Paytas]

I've never seen it. And I watched it. I was like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Remember Colleen's ukulele?

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, that's what I was going to like, toxic. Like watching. It's kind of camp and fun. But then you're like, wait, but the allegations, like talking to like minors in a group chat about her like, period and tampons and Adam McIntyre being sent underwear when he's 13 years old. I was like, this is your apology With a uk. With a UK and being like not a groomer, just a loser. I was like, that's wild. Like that lyric that she wrote.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I just wouldn't. I wouldn't be able to deadpan sing that. That I would start. I would be like, this is so ridiculous that I feel like I would like start laughing. Low key.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was scary. It was scary to watch because it's almost like, what do you mean this is your apology?

[Tana Mongeau]

Not to be dramatic, but I'm gonna re watch that in the car on the way home.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, you have some of these apologies. We have Oscars. Any of the place. He had a playlist of all the apologies of like YouTubers and I hadn't seen like half of them.

[Tana Mongeau]

Not that mine are also any better. I just, I. Before I even like, oh my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like. But look, apology videos are hard. I done 5,000 of them and like, it's hard to be genuine. So even looking at Laura Lee's, I was like, I had empathy for her because I was like, I know how hard this is, but the people doing like interpretive dance to apologize is crazy. Like, even Logan, I give him credit, he like sat down, talked serious for a minute, like acknowledge it. But these people were like not acknowledging and like truly dancing around it. And I was like, that's the.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, it is. It is very, very interesting because there's also like all the etiquette of apology videos, right? Like if you cry, it's about you, so you're wrong, but if you don't cry, you're like not empathetic. Like a lot of different, like, like things like that that people say, like, yeah, where it's like there's lots of double edged swords. I think with those videos where like, I almost think that like some people, like, no matter. Like, I think Sienna May was a perfect example of like no matter what she said or did, people were going to be.

[Trisha Paytas]

I might disagree with Sienna because I think if she just sat down and apologized might be a lot better than the.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I also, I guess I, I speak from that situation because I like, like was around in LA at the time and like my perception of it might be like, different.

[Trisha Paytas]

I agree. I think any apology video, like you said, Shane, whatever, anyone's apology video, like it. Yeah, you can't win. But that's the whole point of an apology video. You just. That people are gonna be mad at you or they're gonna forgive you. Like, you can't really win.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's true. I guess trying to win is probably actually the wrong.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like trying to put something at least acknowledging it right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, that's what you can't do.

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm sorry. If you put out a Twitter note like, no, I'm not gonna like accept that apology. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

But I also think with like a lot of my favorite creators or just people like, whatever, like, like the only thing you can do is see someone's growth over time. Like, even if someone posts the perfect apology video, if they continue being the same person, that's where the real problem lies. Like, the. The true answer to all things is just gross.

[Trisha Paytas]

And, you know, I could be like 80 years old and, like, literally being so philanthropic, like, feeding kids all over the world. And like, still people will be like, but remember this. You know what I mean? So at the end, and it's like, fine. That's why I'm never like, someone who's like, oh, you should forgive me. Like, it's fine if people don't. Whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

But yeah, I had such, like, sorry.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, no, no. There was nowhere I was going. I was just. Kept talking.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're just real for that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, that's. No, but it's true.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like, there's always going to be someone like that just.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, apology videos are just tough. The craziest one I thought was the. Do you remember the Fine brothers?

[Tana Mongeau]

And they tried to trademark react?

[Trisha Paytas]

But their apology video was even crazier because they were pissed at us. They're, like, pissed at the viewer. They're like, you guys, you don't understand what we were saying. Like, we're just like, trademarking our react. And I was like, like this. And they were so mad. Like, I think his name's Benny. He's like looking at the camera like, he is going to kill us. And he's just like, you guys are the dumb ones. Like, we're just trademarking our react series, not the word react. And he's like, we're making it easier for creators because we're gonna help them react. And I was like, you're insane.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. That was such a funny time, though. I was talking about this recently to someone. Like, I was literally on a whole tangent recently about, like, how the world. Like, I almost miss when, like, the. The biggest, worst problem on the Internet is like, that these two brothers are trying to trademark react and they don't have the right to trademark the word react. Like, so seriously serious.

[Trisha Paytas]

Or Joey with his. Remember his tax. He was parked. He was parked in front of someone's driveway. Do you remember. Do you not remember that he parked his car in front of someone's driveway and they couldn't get out. And it was this whole thing. And they're like, wow, these YouTubers are entitled. And they knew it was Joey because his tax forms were, like, in the passenger seat. So they called him out and I think they even said, like, how much he was making because they saw his tax Forms. It was so crazy. But everyone was pissed at Joey. They're like, I can't believe you would double park in front of someone.

[Tana Mongeau]

And this was before the time where, like, we've now realized, like, that's insane.

[Trisha Paytas]

The double parking.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, no, no. Like, like to go in someone's car and take a photo of their tax forms and like, you to over parking. Like, this YouTuber. So entitled. Like, it's so hard to park in LA. Like, people need to have that. Like, that's.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love it. I mean, no, it wasn't the worst thing, but it is funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

And then they went and watched the try guys and they're apologizing. Their apology video.

[Tana Mongeau]

They didn't even cheated, right?

[Trisha Paytas]

One of them, Ned, but he wasn't even in the apology video. So there's three try guys and they're apologizing to the fans and they're like, we tried. Yeah. No, they were. They were. They were pissed, but they were like. They were like fine brothers, where they're pissed, but, like, obviously rightfully so because, like, they didn't even do anything wrong. They had to do the apology and they didn't even mess up because the guy that cheated was not even there. So I was just like, damn. Yeah. There's so many. I know. When we were watching these, I was like, wait, what did this person even do? Because there's so many, like, apology videos and.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And just so many now. It's like so funny because there's like a new one every week. It's just a different time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is there new apology videos?

[Tana Mongeau]

I just. Well, I was just talking about, like, Sierra from Love Island. She had to come apologize.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right, Right, right. But she did, like, a note, right? Or she did a video.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, she did a video and then she was wearing a crew neck that said empathy and people were like, why would you wear that? Like, mad.

[Trisha Paytas]

I mean, that's kind of. I get it. Signaling, like, I'm empathetic. Have empathy for me. I don't know. I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know what she meant with that. It just.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love it. I love that people still do apology videos. Because I thought it was like a lost art form where I'm like, wow, people. People just move on. Like, no one. No one talks about it. No one apologizes.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's a true relic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Apology videos were so, like, every month there was an apology video and it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was like YouTube drama just was like. We talk about it all the time. Like, oh, my God, a part of me died. There, there's just. It'll never be the same.

[Trisha Paytas]

The most. This is the one I felt worse for is Jaclyn Hill. Her apology video is crazy.

[Tana Mongeau]

We. Oh, societ, we owe Jaclyn Hill. Well, actually, not me, because I was never one of these mother I loved. Actually let me stop because I probably made some jokes in some videos, but at how unserious it was. Like there was hair in the lipstick or whatever, right? And people acted like this woman came into their house and shattered their windows and killed their family.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, people were so.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like that too. Was just so crazy the way people were. So it's like, if you then don't buy the lipstick.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, they didn't know, to be fair, that there was gonna be fuzz in it or tweeze it out.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Or don't just.

[Tana Mongeau]

And.

[Trisha Paytas]

And to her credit, her potty was crazy, cuz she was talking about everything. Everything went wrong for her. She's like, well, first, the first batch was like the glove fibers came off in it. Second batch, they wiped the bats with the gloves. And then it got fuzzy. I'm like, girl, what is this factory? Like, everything went wrong, like five different times.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Then that sucks so bad. All you want to do is make. Make this product. And like, I'm not saying that it's like, oh, I ordered a lipstick and there's something in it. Like, I. I deserve a refund. Like, I understand the, like, the plot point, the logistics, but, like, I just. People like people. It was mass hysteria. Like, people might as well have been in the street, car alarm blaring, screaming like, like the purge over Jaclyn Hill's lipsticks. That was so crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is a year. 2019, I realized, was the year of apology videos. And just like, everything going wrong for everyone. Because 2019, I don't remember any of this happening. Dramageddon was 2019, Jaclyn. And I was like, this is also my year. I'm in three mental hospitals. I'm doing meth overdoses. I'm doing, like, the craziest. I mean, I don't remember any of this stuff going down.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was your wedding 20.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was gonna say I was getting. I was getting fake married.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God, that's crazy. That's what I'm saying. 2019. And I don't even remember. Like, I remember everyone was off.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is so funny. Everyone was just certifiably insane, which is.

[Trisha Paytas]

What I think my conspiracy here. Call me Shane Dawson. My theory is like, 2020 happened, so everyone had to do a reset.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

2019 was unhinged for everybody. I was like, what is happening?

[Tana Mongeau]

Everyone had to, like, sit at home with their thoughts and be like, wait, I'm literally an idiot.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, like, let's reset the whole thing. Like, I think I gotta reset in 2020 first. Sure. David. The not to. Whatever the Jeff incident was happening during COVID like, everything was like, because.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it's interesting because to me, when I look at my perception of 2019, that's, like, really when I found out how much of a, like, machine and business, like, I always knew it was like. But, like, Fanjoy was such a big thing. Every influencer was making a million dollars a month with their merch. With Fanjoy Brack, he was printing money. The Paul Brothers printing money.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, the clickbait hoodie. I was like, yes. I think it was awful.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just views and AdSense. This was before AdSense. Like, this was right before AdSense kind of changed. Like, YouTubers were making millions. You know what I mean? And, like, daily vlogging.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, that's such a manic, psychotic thing to do. If you really think. I know the art of daily vlogging is insane. Like, the things Dobrik was doing to get clickbait and views and all these things. Like, it was like, the peak of insanity before, like, bad happened and people had to, like, reel it back.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like a completely different thing. Like, the whole culture of, like, YouTube is so different. Even. There's, like, a clip of you and Jake, and it's, like, so weird. It's, like, coming to, like, where my recording studio and, like, giving me an invitation to the wedding. And I was like, this is 2019. I'm, like, canceled. I'm, like, exiled from the vlog squad. I'm like, mental hospital. Hospital. I wasn't even friends with either of you. And it's like someone found it because I said, oh, I've never met Jake Paul or something. Which if I say I never did something, I probably did it at some point. Everyone's like, actually, Trish.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I was like, trisha, I do not remember this at all.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's crazy. And it's like, there's. Yeah, it's like you and Jake in the frame and, like, handing me this giant invitation. It's, like, outside where my recording studio is. I mean, how did that even happen? Like, who called me to be like, where are you? We're giving you an invitation. Like, we never talked. Like, it's so weird. I love it because I felt cool that I was invited. I was like, wow, I got invited.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think I'm remembering. I'm fake remembering. I remember that day. I remember we brought it to, like, the Dolan twins. And I guess that makes sense.

[Trisha Paytas]

Dolan twins make sense. Me at, like, 2019, at my, like, floppiest era. I was like, what is happening?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. Yeah. It was so weird. What a strange day of my life. I remember we were, like, fighting by the end of it, like, we were pissed.

[Trisha Paytas]

Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Just, like, that's all I really remember.

[Trisha Paytas]

You guys looked so cute. I was honored. I was like, wow, that was so funny. And I really didn't know you that well. I definitely didn't know Jake. I was like, what is happening?

[Tana Mongeau]

I wonder if it's because you and I were managed by Jordan and I was probably just like, hey, Trisha, thank.

[Trisha Paytas]

You so much to Ro for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. You guys, health care is not just about physical health, but it's about how you show up. How you show up for yourself, for your workmates, classmates, your family life, for yourself. Honestly, taking care of your health is very important, but sometimes it's complex. Sometimes you're like, is this right for me? How much is this? I need to call my insurance, see if they cover it. And calling insurance, there's like 5,000 phone numbers and it's so hard. And it's like, what's my plan? What's the perfect plan for me? Is it right? And then you just give up. You just give up your gosh. Everyone's talking about the glp. Why? Funds. But I don't know if my insurance covers it. How do I find this out? Don't worry, because the ROE free insurance.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

When you become a RO member, you'll have support throughout the process. You'll have access to your provider on demand.

[Trisha Paytas]

For any questions, join the over 500,000 people who trusted ro check their coverage for free.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

That's ro co not loveline to see if your insurance covers GLP1s for free.

[Tana Mongeau]

Go to ro co safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you so much to Ro for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. Because I was for a while and we had still never met. You know what I mean? It still was never like maybe we met briefly. I think you were in the backseat of this car one time dropping something off at my apartment once.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so strange. That's so. You know what I was talking about the other day that I like, I think is one of your best eras and most iconic. And like you won't convince me otherwise. I think you might agree with me actually though I don't know I was because I'm always telling Mokoa, like I want Mokoa to know as much about you as possible. And obviously we had to start from like, he does. He's not on the Internet. He didn't know anything. And so I just like, I educate him on the lore whenever it pops into my mind. Mind. And I was telling him about how you married a cardboard cutout of Brad Pitt.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like it was. I was trying to express to him at the time, like Devin, it was so insane. It like everyone was like, Trisha's getting married. And like she wasn't telling anyone to who. And everyone was like, oh my God, who is Trisha marrying? Like, wait, really?

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't remember anyone caring everyone cares so much in 2019.

[Tana Mongeau]

Everyone cares.

[Trisha Paytas]

2019. The cardboard cut out ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

I remember because like Jordan worked out of my house at this time, which is so strange. Like, he worked at my pool house. His management office was my pool house. So all of his clients would have to come to my house, which was like so wild.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, they would come in and enter through my house and like People would just be like, jordan, who is. And he didn't know. You didn't even tell him. And he like, we were.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was not real.

[Tana Mongeau]

But just. So wait, when did you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Maybe I was trying to reheat your nachos. When did you got married?

[Tana Mongeau]

You did it before. Maybe I was reheating your nachos.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, I'm. No. First of all, your wedding was the biggest thing, but probably I saw you get a couple days. Like, I'm going to try it too.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I really.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think yours happened before me.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, there's no way. I definitely probably copied you for show.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's. But like how the Internet and then everyone. And it was just like harmless. And then everyone's like, oh, Trisha, how iconic. You know, that's so.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't. Wait, what's the tea?

[Tana Mongeau]

We're both in Business Insider.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because they also did an article about you marrying Brad.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

See what I mean? It's a business. That's what I'm saying.

[Tana Mongeau]

Trisha. Everyone cared. She doesn't remember things.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't remember 2019 at all. And I do remember it came out the same day as the conspiracy palette. And everyone thought I was trying to, like, compete with Shane. First of all, I didn't even know it was happening. Conspiracy dropping, whatever the. And I was just like, why would I. First of all, didn't think I was competing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Isn't that so funny too? The Internet was even that like, oh, you married this. Think about this sentence. You marry this cardboard cutout. The same day Shane Dawson and Jeffree star launched the conspiracy palette. And we're mad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Yeah. They were like, yeah, we're mad. Like, I do an apology video for it. That's so funny. Didn't want my big day to ruin it. Obviously. Their launch was the biggest thing ever. I wasn't trying to. Honestly, I was just on drugs. I was just like, let's go to Vegas. Brought my mom and sister to make.

[Tana Mongeau]

It real weird thing. Like, I'm gonna crack on this launch of the eyeshadow palette. Let me marry this. Like, they're not even. Like, it's not like you were like, enough doing anything makeup related. Like, they're not connected at all.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I'm not selling anything.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, there. They couldn't be two more different things. No, it's so iconic.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was. You know what's crazy is I was in such my, like, drug era for real. Like, I don't know what I was on. Maybe Prozac and Stan. I don't know what I was on. I was on a lot. But I remember going to Criss angel that night. Night. And he brought me on stage and was like, oh, Trish just got married. But, like, didn't he find it weird that I didn't have my husband with me? Like, there was no husband. And there's pictures of me and Chris angel on stage. Like, my hand up with him saying, she just got married. Everyone's cheering and I'm just like. But there was no husband with me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was he like, what are you doing later?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I did have a little crush on Chris Angel.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm not gonna lie, everyone. Oh, my God, Are you kidding? I wanted him to, like, pull a rabbit out of my, like, so hot.

[Trisha Paytas]

And he was nice. I mean, Holly. Like, well, once I became friends with Holly, I was like, out, Angels, out.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I'm saying, like, at the time, like, it was like, oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Especially when she was dating him. He was like the hottest. He was really nice. Like, he. I remember him being so nice. He, like. I went to his, like, studio. I was like in the opening of, like, his, like, little lobby and he, like, drove me. It was cool. I thought it was like, so cool. I was like, oh, my God. With Chris Angel. But yes, I know he never hooked up with him.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that type was like, so much my type. For all of my.

[Trisha Paytas]

What is the type? What is that type? What'd you call it? Magician. Oh, okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

A little.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love Ed Hardy. Like a Brett Michaels.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, like, look like you're dying in some aspect. Look like you eat. Look like you eat cigarettes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, interesting. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

That was only my, like, type, really. Until I met Makoa. And then I had to. I'm so happy.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's very different. Isn't that crazy?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Moses too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, he's my. He's not my type.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was realizing I was never gonna, like, find love in the eyeliner.

[Trisha Paytas]

Men. Maybe.

[Tana Mongeau]

I guess that's true. But I'm happy I didn't. Yeah, that was crazy. We talked about that. We had to have talked about that. They're back together.

[Trisha Paytas]

Who? Ronnie Racky?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, Britney and Tommy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, okay. Well, you know, that's great. That makes sense. I like that. That's great. I love it. That makes sense.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what we should do, Devin? Normalize. Interrupting us with calls. No, cuz like, normal, like, imagine we just shut up. We'd take the call.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, let's take a call. And we'd save us, like, if we're ever in.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, like, we need to Be saved. Save us with a call.

[Trisha Paytas]

Save us. What was the question that we just answered?

[Tana Mongeau]

The first one was an hour ago. It did go off on a tangent. The gay friend.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, play the goal.

[Tana Mongeau]

Play the goal.

[Trisha Paytas]

We. And we love this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like. Like, it's like, God damn.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that call. Yeah.

[Caller]

Hi, Trish. Hi, Tana. I was just calling in because I didn't know if you guys have ever felt this way or had any advice for me, but recently I've just been kind of feeling like, not someone's favorite friend. I'm a recent college graduate, and so all my friends are kind of scattered across the map, and I still talk to them and everything, but I don't know, I just kind of get in my head and feel like I'm not their favorite friend. Or maybe they just have other friends that are closer, which I'm not really jealous about that, but I just wish that I could relate, I guess. I have a boyfriend, and so he can kind of help with that. But I also don't want to be the girl whose best friend is her boyfriend, if that makes sense. So. Yeah. Thank you. Bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

She only think a best friend is a boyfriend. Essentially, she's just kind of saying that she's leaving college and she has her friend group and they all still kind of talk, but she doesn't feel like the favorite. Favorite friend. Like, you know what I mean? Like, everyone kind of maybe might be closer type of thing, and she doesn't feel like anyone. That she has a super strong connect. You know what I mean? Like, she just. And maybe she's just in her own head, she's just beating herself up, but, like, she doesn't feel like the favorite friend. She doesn't want to be the girl who's only best friends with her boyfriend. She wants to have her best friends, too. And, yeah, she doesn't feel like the favorite friend.

[Trisha Paytas]

Leave that friend group.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's what I was. Because I was really thinking about it, and I was like, yes, there's a world where everything is fine and your anxieties could be convincing you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

That your friend friends don't like you as much as they do. But also, I think that really good friends will never have you questioning your, like, place in your role in their life and that you will encounter people as you get older that you're like, no question, this person is my favorite person and I am theirs, you know? Like, no question that we are, like, locked in. So it's like, yeah, if you feel.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like you're the least favorite friend, I Mean, like you. Like, you said, me too. I'd probably be like, oh, this person hates me or whatever. But sometimes I like, listen to my body too. I'm kind of like, well, if I'm feeling this way. And like, for me, I never really had friends. But, like, boyfriends is like, I feel like they don't like me. Like, usually the time I'm like, right. I mean, maybe they don't like you. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, you, you never want to feel like that, even if they do fully like you. But maybe their communication style doesn't match your attachment style. And then you leave feeling uneasy. You deserve someone who keeps your nervous system calm, like we always say here on not loveliness, but and just fills up your cup, you know? And I will say, too, it seems like you're in maybe a little bit of a transitional period. Like, these were all your friends in college, and now you guys kind of all went your separate ways. This is a great time to find new people closer to you with new interests that are similar to yours and get out there and see if other people are making you feel that way. And then maybe you can reflect and be like, okay, maybe I just have anxieties and it's not my friends. Or, you know, go compare. Go. Go find a new person, get some lunch and see how they make you feel.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, go where you feel good. I think that's so important because even if it's in your head, because, like, so many times I'm in my head where I'm like, oh, I don't think this person likes me or whatever. It's like that. It's like, well, then, like, listen to that. You know what I mean? 100 even like you said, even if they do. If, like, I'm feeling weird, maybe it's like my body being like, oh, no, this person's like, weird or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

For you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or just we don't click like that and we're forcing it, or like, just whatever. Like, you know, you can feel. But like, yeah, your. Your true best friendships in life will never have you questioning it. So I think that it's time to go on a little bit of a hunt. And that's fun. Try new things and get out there and. Yeah. And you can still talk to those people. It's not like you have to be, like, malicious about that. Like, maybe as you're pulling away and kind of talking to these other new people, you'll see how much these old people reach out, and maybe they end up reaching out a bunch and they're fighting for you and then you're like, wow, maybe these were my friends all along.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, I love that. I love when someone fights for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime. From streaming to shopping, prime helps you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Get more out of your passions. So whether you're a fan of true.

[Tana Mongeau]

Crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like Prime Video, Amazon Music, and fast free delivery, prime makes it easy to get more out of whatever you're into or getting into. Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more. You say you'll never join the Navy, never climb Mount Fuji on a port visit, or break the sound barrier. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is. Learn [e-mail] America's Navy forged by the sea Chronic spontaneous urticaria or chronic hives with no known cause. It's so unpredictable.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like playing pinball.

[Tana Mongeau]

Itchy red bumps start on my arm.

[Trisha Paytas]

Then my back, sometimes my legs.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hives come out of nowhere and it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Comes and goes, but I just found.

[Tana Mongeau]

Out about a treatment [e-mail] Take that, chronic hives. Learn [e-mail] yes. Love that. Like, talks at 3am yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Me fighting the next morning.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's literally me. I'm like, I'm not going away.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love it. I love it because like, I think we talked about off camera. I was like, last time I felt really bad because I felt like I was like so depressing, like Eeyore of the group. And then you were like so nice and you were like second to me. Cute tik toks. And I was like, yeah, she's not mad. She's not scared.

[Tana Mongeau]

What the. At all. You couldn't scare me. I've been through a lot. I've met real crazy people. You could not ever scare me away.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

But yeah, you look so pretty.

[Trisha Paytas]

Next.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right on it. I love you too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right on it. Next. Call. Look at us. We're so Call. We're so Advice. We're so. Yes.

[Caller]

Hi Trish. Hi Tana. I just want to say I love your guys's dynamic on the podcast. You guys are amazing. So I'm calling because my boyfriend and I were together for seven years. He actually died last summer in a really traumatic way. I was there and I witnessed the whole thing and he basically died in my arms. So I've really not been into dating up until recently, but I'm really having a hard time putting myself out there. I don't really have many friends or many people that I talk to on a daily basis. I'm also kind of a shy introvert. I'm not really familiar with dating profiles or how dating apps work. Honestly, they're kind of intimidating to me, Me. But I just turned 30, and I really do want to have a family. So I was just wondering what advice you would give me on how I can put myself back out there. Thanks. Love you girls.

[Tana Mongeau]

Poor thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so hard. And you're. I want to just, first of all, give you your flowers for the fact that you.

[Trisha Paytas]

You.

[Tana Mongeau]

You don't even know it, and you're already on step one. You're wanting to try to put yourself back out there. You're placing this call. You are aware that you want to open and welcome yourself to new love and new things, and that is even a mountain within itself to cross. And you've already done that, you know, so good for you for that. Like, first of all, and you sound like such a smart girl, and I'm so sorry that you went through that. And what I will say is, I mean, we all. We talk about grief, but grief is. It's love with nowhere to go, and it's very sad. And I think that in my opinion, the next people in your life, like, the person that you lost, will always be a part of you. You know what I mean? And I think that you want your next partner, because I've had a lot of people in my life die, and I feel like I have also dated people who were kind of like, stop talking about that. Right? Or stop, like, you know what I mean? And. And in reality, you wouldn't be the person that you are today if it was not for this person and how much you loved them and, like, how like. And losing them and all of the things that you've been through. And you want your next partner to be someone who is like, this person is with us. You know what I mean? Like, let's wants to talk about it. Wants you. Because that's. That's also when you lose someone. That's all you want to do when someone dies. And, like, you just. You want to talk about them, and you want to feel like they're there and you want to remember them and you want to, like, you know, not feel like the world just kept going on without them. Like, it's your duty to carry their legacy and their light and all of the great things that they were. So I feel like you will find that person who is, like, so welcoming of you. And these traumas and these memories that you carry because they're a part of you and they made you who you are. And that person is out there, and you will find that person and life will go on. It will never be the same, but you will find your new normal. And I think that you're already. I know you're saying you don't know about apps, but I can tell that you are the type of girl who might try and figure it out. And I believe in you.

[Trisha Paytas]

And. Yeah, and sometimes, like, I think you'll try it and see if you're ready. And then sometimes you'll try and be like, okay, not yet. And then you take a break or whatever and, like, things kind of just come when they're meant to come. And, like, maybe the apps are for you. Maybe that is, like the first thing you need to do, like dip your toes in the water. But I do think, like you said, you'll find someone who, like understanding it. Like, that's why I liked the Golden Bachelor. I liked it because, like, there'd be, like, widowed people would find each other, so there was, like, something to connect with, knowing that there was, like, first love before them. You know what I mean? So they could understand each other better. Because I think it's hard to understand someone who's lost, you know? Like, I don't know if I could fully comprehend it, but, like, thinking about losing my partner and it's like, yeah, you'd want to. I would want to keep them alive forever. I never would ever want anyone to think, like, you're replacing someone or.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, just know this was my first love, you know? But I think you had good advice, too. It's just like, you're already out there. You already are thinking about apps. You think you're ready. You're young. You are young. You deserve to, like, find love again. And I truly think he probably would want that for you. I know I would want that. Even. Even though I like, joke with Moses, like, you better never find someone. But it's like, realistically, it's like, we've been together five years. He could live together another 50. I'm like, well, find someone that's. And you can even be buried with her if you're 50 years with her, you know what I mean? And only five years with me. So, like, realistically, you have to, like, think about that. So, yeah, it's. And obviously the way he passed away, too, like, you're holding up. Like, that's. That's some deep rooted. I don't know if she went to therapy, like, well, hopefully you can talk to someone if therapy's not for you. Like, talking to someone. Because not only is it losing someone's heart, but, like, though, like, you're holding them as they do their last breath. Like, couldn't even imagine. Yeah, it's a gift, too, in a way. You know, you think about birth, like, getting to be their first. Like, holding them their first breath. So being someone's with them on their last breath is kind of beautiful, but it's also a lot to.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's a lot to carry. And you are right, though. It is also beautiful. And I just. I hope that you're not thinking, you know, because I can imagine that in that position sometimes you're probably just like, I'm so young and this happened to me. I think things like that can sometimes make people. And this is just like, me speaking. I don't know, but, like, feel tainted almost, or just like, you know, like, I'm hard to date. I'm hard to love. No, you're not. You know, and, like, someone will welcome you with all of this and. Because, again, you would not be the beautiful person that you are today, who is alive today without that person. And someone who truly loves you is going to acknowledge that and love that, you know, and.

[Trisha Paytas]

And they'll think it's like you said, it'll make you, like, it's a special thing about, like, I love. Like, not love, but I, Like, I. I do love. Like when Moses, like, opens up about, like, losing his dad or, like, memories with his dad or something that she doesn't do often, but, like, when he does it, like, it's something so, like, beautiful about someone being so raw who's, like, usually very. Just, like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, no emotion, whatever. And it's like, oh, it's like something beautiful. And, like, hearing someone reminisce about someone, like, it's like, a beautiful thing because it means that you were able to, like, love someone and keep loving them after death. And I think that's, like, a really, like, beautiful thing. So it'd be weirder if, like, someone was like, don't talk about your dead husband or something.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

But, yeah, I agree. Yeah. Also, like, her little pep at the end, like, love you, girls. Like, you sound like you have, like, life in your voice, which is, like, beautiful, because I think even calling or watching this or anything is like, is. Is cool that you're able to, like. I don't know, you sound. You sound like, have some, like, life.

[Tana Mongeau]

I 100 agree with that. And I think that, like I said, life will never go on the same. But you will find your new normal and you will find happy, complete, pure happiness in that new normal. And you'll be. One day you will be in a moment where you are so happy and you'll be like, wow, he's looking down on me right now and he's smiling too. And this is awesome. You know, it doesn't feel like it, but you will get there. And I love you like that. Really, I just. That really will happen for you. And we love you and call us back if you need anything. We are here and we love you so much.

[Trisha Paytas]

Heather.

[Caller]

Hi, Trish. Hi, Tana. I literally love you guys more than you know. But I just want to know. I started talking to this guy recently and after the first date, felt like that instant connection and just feel like I. I've known him for years type of feeling. But don't know the difference between maybe being love bombed or a genuine connection. So I was just wondering what the feeling was like when you guys met Moses and Matoa, because was it like this instant connection of like, I'm so comfortable with this person or was it gradual? Just want to get your take so I can find my person.

[Tana Mongeau]

Isn't it crazy?

[Trisha Paytas]

They both have some initials.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know.

[Trisha Paytas]

And they both mean something like M M's, like M M's and TNT. Like, you know, like what is TNT? Where you throw it. It explodes.

[Tana Mongeau]

NTM is like TR™ which is iconic.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. That's everything.

[Tana Mongeau]

And we.

[Trisha Paytas]

Mountain time.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that for us we're moving.

[Trisha Paytas]

To the east coast or where's mountain time? I don't even know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Madison Square Garden. We're coming for you.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't think that is. Yes, it's Easter. Mountain time. Where is it?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know. I'm in Wyoming.

[Trisha Paytas]

We're coming to Jeffree Stars. Yak.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Oh, my God, I want a yak ranch. Okay. You know what's crazy is you really don't. Like, like, yes, there are signs of love bombing and yes, you can be super aware. But I think as love bombing became this buzzword word, it's like a guy gets a girl flowers and she's like, am I being love bombed? And there is like an extent to it where it's like you don't really know if you're being love bombed until you just stick it out. Like, I agree. If someone's love bombing the ever living out of you, like, you know, but if you know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like I'm weirdly jealous of people who've been love bombed. I've never been love bombed.

[Tana Mongeau]

Never getting love bombed and then having it taken back. Like you know, because that's what love bombing is. They drop it all and then they stop and they become controlling or they become one them of whatever it is. The worst thing ever, you know. Like it does have a downside.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay, it sounds fun but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Cuz I remember I found out about love bombing like not through Internet buzzwords. Like I remember sitting and googling what this man was doing to me and that's how I found out. And I was like oh, being love bombed gag.

[Trisha Paytas]

Damn. It's kind of fun at the beginning I guess.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah it is for sure. Oh my God, get a rich period. But yeah, I don't necessarily. I think that time tells all with if someone is the one. And like unfortunately hardships also tell if someone is the one. You know, like can you guys go through it together and still remain a team? Can you all those things. How did you. What, what, what made you know that Moses was the one?

[Trisha Paytas]

I think what you were just saying like hardships because, because my story, I. I almost kind of like we're talking about in the Patreon where you're like I don't like tell people like the pull out works but it does, you know. I don't want to have to tell people our beginning because it's like it was like pretty toxic at the beginning. So it's never like we were so toxic and then we fell in love. You know it was, it is very odd and it's very weird. I think it took hardships. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out how like how I'm trying to figure out how we like came around because we were both pretty toxic.

[Tana Mongeau]

I agree that hardships are like how you really know someone is the one and time and just someone and consistency. You know what I mean? Mean like consistency. Not necessarily like routine but like every time I'm falling he's picking me up and vice versa like like time that that's the true God honest answer. But in the beginning I will say that I do just feel like I knew like I my intuition was telling me like pay attention to this person, they might be the one like type of thing. And I had also just like been trying to date and like failing like just like back to back. Just these little like almost month long things. This situationship. I remember before Makoa there was this guy just bless his heart, I Did not like him at all. And I was trying to make it work so hard and like. But I didn't like him, you know what I mean? And just with Mokoa, I immediately was like, you know, I was gagged. Like I don't know how else to explain it. I was like, oh my God, I'm gagged. Like this hooks. This might be my husband. That's really my like, you know. And as we just like talked more and more. I don't know. Yeah, I just calm deep conversations.

[Trisha Paytas]

I will say that even in our toxicity, like at the beginning like there was like. We always say it's something like pulling us back together. Ours was like weirdly like trauma stuff like happening to me. Like it was like someone broke into my house. So then Moses came over to stay with me and then it was like, yeah, I was doing of at the time. So I was like in this really bad situation at like the W hotel and he like came to pick me up. Even though we were just friends, not just not dating, like, he was constantly there for me. My like lowest. And then I think for me that changed with him because I always just thought he was like an or boring or whatever. All. All of the above. It was when he was like trying to learn about. I remember him googling. He googles a lot of things. Like like I just mentioned the last episode when I went to his YouTube and I saw he searched banana bread recipe. I was like, oh my God, that's so cute. It was kind of like that when we first met. I remember going through his foam because we were toxic and he was like, you know, he did give me his password at one point. So I go through it all the time because I like didn't trust him. And I remember like seeing his last Google searches and it was all like borderline personality and how to date someone with borderline. It was like all these like really cute Google searches. And I was like, oh wow, that's crazy. Like, and this was after me being very toxic, throwing keys over like just being crazy talking. So it was again, I don't recommend that because I don't think like if it's a toxic relationship, you should stick it out. But it did feel like something that was like pulling us back together. And yeah, it was weird. Like just things kept coming up and he kept showing up and. And then I don't know his answer for me, like why he came back to me, but like I was doing everything. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I also think that I dated for so long of like, I like the idea of this person, or like, I would almost think of, like, the idea of myself with like, the idea of that person, like, would be good. And I think Nicole was one of the first people where I was like, I. Even if I am never with you, you are objectively like one of the best people I've ever met. Like, I really, really admired him as a person, as a whole. That, like, that made me attracted to him because I was like, I want you. Like, you're so amazing, you know, Amazing. I don't know. But yeah, you did the love on me. I don't know. You know what I mean? Even when Nicole, like, flew out to see me for the first time, I was like, okay, is this love bombing? Yeah. Like, is it? You know, how is. How would we sustain this? Right? And then I just kept being nuts and he kept saying, that's all I.

[Trisha Paytas]

Really know to say.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was an alcoholic. He want. He was there for me through that. Like, I. I was definitely like, healing from so many toxic patterns. And, you know, I drove to Moses's.

[Trisha Paytas]

House naked in inglewood at like 2 in the morning.

[Tana Mongeau]

No way.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I didn't even know his address. I just knew he was in Inglewood. So I just started driving around Inglewood just like at 2 in the morning, just like naked. And he would not give me his address. Like, absolutely not. Go home. Like, what are you doing? And I found him and then he was like, impressed. And then he was like, well, okay, let me drive you home, cuz I don't know how you're doing this right now, so.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is so funny. Was he like, come in inside?

[Trisha Paytas]

No, he's like, I'm driving you home. Which was nice though. I was like, wow, you and Moses.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are just like that. Like, it's. That is such a cool story. I get what you're saying. You're not like, trying to glamorize anything to be toxic and like to tell people to stay in anything toxic. But to see someone stick it through with you and like, want to just get so healthy is also like, very cool. And I do think Mokoa did that with me in a lot. Like, you know what I mean? Was very patient with a lot of. Of my patience.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Someone like, just seeing you through. Oh my God. Moses just asked me. It's funny because, like, he was our wedding vows. He's like, oh, this is so crazy because he saw a tick tock where it literally had like, the words of his wedding vows. Like, I never heard this before. It just sent it to me today and I was like, oh my gosh. It's like made me cry again. And it was like this was his. Oh yeah. He literally texted me at like 10am this was my wedding vow. I didn't know he said that. It's the same and the. The vow. Oh my gosh.

[Tana Mongeau]

Support for this podcast and the following message comes from America's Navy. The Navy offers new graduates hands on training and experience in careers like computer science, aviation and medicine, plus education and sign on bonuses. Parents help your grads start their career [e-mail].

[Trisha Paytas]

Dostoevsky yeah, this was in his vows. He's like, to love someone means to see them as God intended them. And so it basically is like seeing through like not just mental illness, not just crazy or what the Internet sees. He's like, I see you as like God made you. Which was like this like perfect being and like, you know, stuff. And it was like, yeah, his vows were so amazing. And this like whole thing, it was a tick tock that made me cry. But it was like this whole thing and he's like, this is how I see you. And I was like. So he, he saw me for like more than just like surface, even if I had a lot wrong with me. He's like, you know, God made you in a perfect way. And like I see you as like he created you, which is like this creative, amazing being and stuff. So.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's so. It's so beautiful to find someone that really is just, just like truly there for you, all of you. And like that's like, that's a beautiful way to put it. To see you as God created you.

[Trisha Paytas]

And they'll see you at your worst. I thought about like giving birth and stuff and all this stuff you like go through and how disgusting everything is. And I was just like, oh my God. Like someone just like being there for.

[Tana Mongeau]

You is like that true. That's a way that I can say that I feel like I knew McCo was the one is that I didn't. And I like I've met other people or dated other people like this. But it with Mokoa it was so deep. Like I'd never experienced it like this where it's like I can truly be anything, any version of myself. I. Whatever it is. And you love me the same. At my, like, I think I'm blood that you do. At my like. Well, you move the way I'm poised. Yeah. Like yes. Like off rip with Gabe Makoa breaking my toe.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I immediately saw how this. Because that's it. It was so, like, I. I talk about the story a lot, so I'll keep it like, you know, but before Mokoa gay, Moa broke my toe, Me and Makoa walked to the beach and, like, we talked. And, like, I don't know how to explain that. Like, we were on this crowded beach in Waikiki, and we felt like. It felt. He says this, too. Like, it felt like we were the only people on this beach. Like, and we jumped in the ocean alone, and we didn't even know each other. We'd known each other for an hour, and we were like, let's go jump in the ocean. Like, so strange. Like, and I don't even know how we got to, like, be walking, because we were all at dinner, and it's like. It's not like, I love island was like, let me pull you for a chat. Like, how did we.

[Trisha Paytas]

We, like, he did, though. I love that.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then we came back from jumping in the ocean, and we sat down and we kissed. And then I came back and g broke my toe. And I was like, you block you this up for me? Like, you. This guy is gonna. Like, how annoying. Like, I was like, oh, my God, I'm never gonna see this, like, hot, sexy surfer man again. Like, he's gonna be. And then he just, like, was amazing in the situation. And then I. Mokoa's friends were also with him.

[Trisha Paytas]

Him.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then Mokoa stayed with me. And then I remember his friends kept being like, like, do you want to come back to the other side of the island with us? Like, whatever. And he just kept staying with me, like, for, like, some days until, like, get to know me. And it was just like, I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's. But that I think, okay, that's where in common. I know we have to wrap it up. That's where we have in common is like, Moses was the same way where it's like, they want to spend time with you. Right? You know what I mean? Like, and, like, quality time. Like, just hanging out with you and not, like, whatever, because that's how it was with, like, quarantine. Like, he just, like, kept coming over to my house, like, every day in quarantine, and, like, no guy ever wanted to do that. And he was driving from Inglewood to, like, Studio City, which quarantine only takes, like, 30 minutes, but in real life, it's, like, hours. And he would do it every day, and we just, like, sit on the couch and talk, and he just always drive to me and I was like, wow, this person really wants.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you know, so I think, like, making time for you, all of that.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that being, like, your favorite moments, like, as much as even like, doing all the icon is great. You know, like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like iconic dates or whatever it is or photos or whatever. Like, the. My favorite memories with Nicole. The first time I ever knew that I was gonna like him more. Us just hooking up. We were laying in bed, and we were talking about YouTube subscription page over the years, which is the most random thing you could be like. We're talking about, like, what the YouTube subscription page was like in the 2010s, but the way he was explaining himself and, like, articulating himself, I was like, oh, you're so smart.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God.

[Tana Mongeau]

And, like, you know, that's one of my favorite moments.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's so smart moments. That was me with Moses. He knew everything about the Old Testament. I was like, wow, you were so.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, right. It's like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like Sodom and Gomorrah. I. I was like, why is it called sodomy? And then he's like, well, Sodom and Gomorrah. And it's like the craziest stories that are not real in the Bible. It's literally like if you're gay, you turn to cement or something. If you ran away. And I was like, what the is this? But it's funny. Or. Or why we talk different languages. Is like the Tower of Babel. He's like, God built this tower, and they were getting too close to heaven, so he's like, everyone's gonna speak different languages, so you can't communicate and build up to heaven. I was like, that's crazy. But also love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's wild. It is like, just the knowledgeability. Non. Yep.

[Trisha Paytas]

He knew everything, right? The knowledge. And when you spend time. Okay. Yeah. We just go on and on, but I know we.

[Tana Mongeau]

And we love them.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's the thing we could talk about with them for hours. That's. You just. When you know, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

So spending time is a good one. Like. Like, if you. If they want to spend time with you and they keep making effort, that's one of the ways. Sticking through the crazy, which not everyone can do, but we love when you can. And then. Yeah. The smart. Oh, wow, you're so smart.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Once you hit that. Once you look at someone like, wow, you're so smart. You're.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And just like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or in any way, like, you just respect and adore them. And I think when you know, you know, and time will tell. And no matter if you've been hurt or not, you should go for it, because each person is different. And never give up on love.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yay. We all that advice. This was good advice today.

[Tana Mongeau]

Calls, calls. And what about it? We took our calls.

[Trisha Paytas]

That was so random. I love it. I was like, what is that character? I love it. Just.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're taking calls. We're clocked in. Girl, you know, calls in. But we love you guys so much, and it's just so cool. How.

[Trisha Paytas]

How?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know. Like, when. When I think about our audience, I think about, like, all the girls and stuff together, but they're also such multifaceted women who have been through so much and prevail and are so inspiring to me, and I hope, like, as much as we might maybe say something that could maybe inspire one of you, you know, that we, like, hello. You inspire us. We love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. We love you guys so much. All right, thank you, guys for watching. Go to patreon.com not loveline first.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're about to talk about sexual. Yeah, bye.