HE WETS THE BED!! + AM I A BAD MOM??

Summary

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Not Loveline — "HE WETS THE BED!! + AM I A BAD MOM??"

Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trisha Paytas
Date: November 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Tana and Trisha challenge themselves to a "relay race" of listener calls, aiming to answer as many questions as possible on love, dating, self-worth, and life’s wild surprises, all with their signature blend of unfiltered honesty and hilarious banter. The duo discusses everything from tattoo exes and sober milestones to toddler TV guilt and boyfriends who wet the bed—no topic is too taboo or too trivial for their unique comedic wisdom.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Podcasting & Podcast Networks: The Unwell & Alex Cooper Discussion

[00:30–04:30]

• The hosts reflect on the evolution of the podcast industry, expressing admiration and friendly envy for Alex Cooper ("Call Her Daddy") and the Unwell network.
• Trisha discusses loving being noticed by 'the popular girl' and the aspiration of doing bigger productions, even envisioning a live Netflix dating show together.
  • "It's just inspiring. It's very cool to see... another woman succeed in the podcast field regardless of any. It's just inspiring." — Tana [03:33]
• They riff on matching merch, influencer culture, and the power/fun of controlling their own brand.

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2. Setting Dating Standards & Tattoo Regrets

[13:37–16:59]

• Caller 1: Dating a guy with his ex’s zodiac sign tattooed on his chest—how to address discomfort.
  • Trisha: “Dump him!” [14:05]
  • Tana: Suggests asking him to cover it up or laser it, but also shares her mixed feelings from her own history dating guys with exes' tattoos.
  • General consensus: Having clear boundaries and expressing your discomfort is valid—and tattoos for partners are a risky business.
  • Trisha: “I'm pro tattoo for other people. I just... cannot do it for me.” [15:43]

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3. Celebrity Stories & Tom Sandoval Debate

[18:12–25:44]

• Caller 2: Wild story about accidentally infiltrating Tom Sandoval's inner circle at a show—then realizing it was embarrassing, but also unforgettable.
  • Tana is inspired to request more celebrity encounter stories.
• The hosts discuss Tom Sandoval’s reputation, cheating, and public shaming of Ariana Maddox.
  • Tana: “On national television, I would let Ariana Maddox step on me… How dare you on her.” [20:10]
  • Both support holding men accountable for bad relationship behaviors, but also acknowledge people can grow and change (albeit with skepticism).

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4. Sober Celebrations & Milestones

[27:07–33:45]

• Caller 3: Struggling with staying sober at major events like her own wedding and bachelorette.
  • Tana gives an in-depth, heartfelt answer (one of the episode’s standout moments):
    • “How cool is it that you're actually going to be able to remember every moment from your bachelorette party?... Just remind yourself all the reasons why you are sober. And girl, do it.” [29:00]
  • Tips: Mocktails, embracing new types of fun, focusing on gratitude rather than deprivation.
  • Trisha emphatically supports Tana’s advocacy and suggests they pitch a “Tana Mongeau is My Sober BFF” reality show. [32:41]

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5. Toddler TV Time & Parental Guilt

[34:24–39:32]

• Caller 4: Feels like a 'bad mom' for letting her toddler watch Ms. Rachel all day to get some peace.
  • Trisha reassures: “If yours is just Ms. Rachel to find peace, I think you're actually doing a pretty good job... Anything you can to get peace is fine.” [35:25]
  • Tana and Trisha both watched lots of TV as kids and turned out creative/ambitious—no guilt!
  • “If you're even worried about being a bad mom, that means you're doing a good job.” — Trisha [37:54]
  • They discuss educational TV's benefits and reject mom-shaming from social media.

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6. Raising Your Dating Standards Financially

[41:08–46:43]

• Caller 5: Now earning six figures, wants to date men at her level—not “fund a grown man’s life” anymore.
  • Tana supports her new standards and says it’s fine to demand more.
  • Trisha: “Maybe find someone who can give equal value... Sometimes equal value is more important than equal amounts of money.” [43:46]
  • They warn about controlling "high earner" men, but affirm everyone's right to look for ambition, support, and real partnership.

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7. Relationship Anniversaries & Communication Games

[46:53–53:38]

• Caller 6: Wonders if she should test her boyfriend by not mentioning their anniversary to see if he remembers.
  • Both: Instead of playing games, directly communicate expectations/desires—don’t expect mind-reading! Send hints, links, or straight-up requests.
  • Tana: “...some of the best advice I've ever received is like, sometimes you just have to tell a man what you want and not get mad at him for not reading your mind.” [49:11]
  • If, after communicating, he lets her down—call back for less gentle advice.

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8. He Wets the Bed—What Do You Do?

[53:38–57:32]

• Caller 7: Her boyfriend wets the bed every time he drinks hard liquor.
  • Trisha: “I have nothing to say, sorry to this man, we're moving on.” [54:23]
  • Tana shares a funny story about a friend who drunkenly peed in someone’s makeup drawer.
  • Verdict: If it’s a medical problem, help him address it; if it’s just from drinking, lay down boundaries—futon, tarp, adult diapers, or abstain from drinking.
  • “You can't be pissy pants McGee when you’re blacked out like that.” — Tana [57:11]
  • If the relationship is new or he refuses to fix the issue—consider leaving.

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9. Burnout, Career Changes, & Choosing Peace

[61:08–68:05]

• Caller 8: Healthcare worker struggling with PTSD, mental exhaustion impacting her marriage; wants advice for choosing peace and being a better partner.
  • Trisha, Tana: Express enormous gratitude for her selfless career.
  • Advise her to make small gestures of love/effort, but also seriously consider a career change if her job is poisoning her spirit.
    • Tana: “Sometimes things run their course and it served you for that period of time, and you got to help so many people...” [64:10]
  • Suggests making a 5-year plan, exploring ways out, finding little rituals of connection (sticky notes, special meals, jokes, etc).
  • “Just do what you can. Don’t feel married to something you once wanted if now it’s not serving you.” — Tana [67:48]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Podcast Jealousy:
  • “I used to hate on Call Her Daddy... I could have been more jealous that these two girls were making such a killing... I was doing it first. Why not me?” — Trisha [01:03]
• On Sober Milestones:
  • “You'll never regret it being not drunk. You will always regret being drunk, you know...” — Tana [30:35]
• On Mom Guilt:
  • “If you feel like a terrible mother, that means you’re a good mom. Because bad moms don’t worry about being a bad mom!” — Trisha [37:54]
• On Relationship Standards:
  • “I just don’t want to fund a grown man’s life anymore.” — Caller [41:34]
• On Bedwetting Partners:
  • “You can’t be pissy pants McGee when you’re blacked out like that.” — Tana [57:11]
• On Trying to Read Minds vs Communicate:
  • “We get upset at people for not reading our mind... it's so good to talk it through. You got this.” — Tana [52:51]
• On Value in Relationships:
  • “Maybe find someone who can give equal value. Sometimes equal value is more important than equal amounts of money.” — Trisha [43:45]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:30] Opening banter, podcast business, Alex Cooper envy
• [13:37] Zodiac ex tattoo dilemma
• [18:12] Tom Sandoval/Night of Celebrity Intrigue
• [27:07] Sober wedding advice & heartfelt sobriety message
• [34:24] TV guilt & motherhood
• [41:08] Dating with six-figure salary; raising standards
• [46:53] Anniversary games & the value of direct communication
• [53:38] “He wets the bed!”—bedwetting boyfriend advice
• [61:08] Healthcare burnout & relationship self-care

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Episode Mood & Tone

Playful, irreverent, deeply supportive, and fully unfiltered—Tana and Trisha effortlessly balance real talk with comic relief. Their chemistry shines as they move from raucous storytelling and gentle pep talks to loving roasting—always rooting for self-acceptance, personal growth, and friendship.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is packed with candid advice, memorable stories, and the reassurance that, whatever your struggle (weird tattoos, bedwetting partners, or toddler TV guilt), you’re not alone—and sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.

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If you loved this episode, call in with your wildest celebrity stories, let Tana and Trisha know what dilemmas you want unpacked next—and remember: communicate your needs, don’t be afraid to set standards, and absolutely crack the whip when needed (especially if your boyfriend’s pissing the bed)!

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

Experian.

[A]

We are having a relay race today of calls to see how many we can answer. I'm actually excited for this. Me too.

[B]

And it's so true, Moses. And my phone originally was just like, the water squirt emoji, because I was like. It was like, eggplant water squirt. And then I went to, like, that's.

[A]

So funny that you just admitted that, like, have to eat my own words.

[B]

Meet with Gary Jowsey, but I would.

[A]

Do anything to punch him in the face.

[B]

What did he do? Hello. Welcome to Not Loveline, presented by Unwell.

[A]

Unwelco to not love mine.

[B]

No, we truly love it. I feel like when we make the tick tocks and stuff, it sounds like we're being, like, sarcastic, but, like, Alex Cooper truly is, like, everything I've always wanted to be. Like when I used to hate on call her Daddy, like, back in the day, like, in 2019, I could have been more jealous that these two girls were making, like, such a killing off of just, like, being so, like, silly and like, kind of like back in the day on their podcast, I was like, that was me. That could have been me. I was doing it first. Why not me? So I was always so jealous when I'm doing that.

[A]

He was doing it first. Like, just sucking, like, the 9,000. You're like, I sucked it first. Okay.

[B]

I talked about it online. First I was like, this was my brand. And then I was like, damn, they did it better.

[A]

I also do just love that when you and I, like, like, we just go so hard. Like, we are the least nonchalant people absolutely ever. Like, can you tell that we're trying to get unwell to buy not love.

[B]

What love would love? You know what it is? It's like, I love doing everything. Like, I truly love doing it all ourselves. Like, there is some, like, power and, like, controlling over your stuff, and you're saying not giving percentage and stuff like that. But there's also something so fun about, like, having production, having budget. Like, when you saw, like, we were talking about the Unwell Festival and stuff like that. Like, I would, like, even Harry Jowsey said, I'm like, that's giving production. You know what I mean? Like, that's giving someone's behind it. And I would just love. We have our own Unwell, like, brand of, you know, nuggets or whatever we wanted. You know what I mean? I feel like they can make it happen.

[A]

Truly. Like, just, like, it is. Like, it's fun. Like, these are. It's. It's all just. It's in good fun.

[B]

We got these on our bed in Vegas. And Tana's like. I'm like, did you see our sweatshirt? I know you're gonna, like, love it, because I was talking about.

[A]

She loves the merch.

[B]

I love merch. And, like, again, I can be easily influenced. When I saw Alex Cooper on the jet wearing the Unwell. Because this Unwell shirt I love so much, she was wearing backwards. So when they gave me the merch shirt, all it says on front is, I am unwell. The back had all the cool stuff, and she turned it around, and I was like, period. That's what I'm gonna do. Because that's where the cool thing is. So I turned mine around, too. And then I saw her in sweats interviewing Kim Kardashian. I was like, we should be wearing those sweats, too. And lo and behold, they had them on our bed.

[A]

And here we are.

[B]

Sizes.

[A]

What'd you say?

[B]

How do they know our sizes?

[A]

Honestly, it's funny because I never wear sweats this small. Like, I like that my sweats, like, significantly bigger than this. But I'm trying out the fitted sweat look.

[B]

Same. They fit us, like, both perfectly, and we're different sizes.

[A]

So, like, how do they know? I feel like Alex Cooper knows everything.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

She's, like, all knowing. Like, you know what I mean? She's like, Tana, Trisha, side, duh.

[B]

I do love her. I feel like it's like, the cool girl. And it's like I was going to be friends with, like, the popular girl in school, and I feel like we were, like, noticed by the popular girls. Very. That we're like, her minions now. We're like, we love you.

[A]

Literally. Minions were like Alex Cooper to the moon. That's actually so.

[B]

Really. It's really weird and funny, but we love it and we love. And they're really comfortable. I wore these last week on that Loveline, and I actually really do love it. And I don't wear them. I wear them.

[A]

Such a fun memory. And, like, it is. It's true. It is very inspiring. And, like, you're so right. Like, long gone is the time, like, seeing another women and hello, another woman, like, succeed in the podcast field regardless of any. It's just inspiring. It's very cool to see, like, get Glee Squad.

[B]

I love them.

[A]

Like, just. They're just Hannah Burner and Paige. Like, I love.

[B]

I love a name for a group. What should we be called? I want a name for us. Like, Sister Squad. Giggly Squad.

[A]

Oh, what are we?

[B]

Oh, got it. I love the name, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, we're not.

[B]

Which, by the way, for the record, Tiana is so sweet because she went along with it, but she's like, I don't know about the name. Maybe we could do better. I'm like, nope, it's not.

[A]

And I was like, period, period queen.

[B]

But even me, everyone, like, doesn't get it. Then I explain, because, again, Loveline was, like, way my generation. Some people were just like, oh, what? But, I mean, this isn't the biggest. Loveline was a show. So I'm really going big with this. Like, we're gonna be on, like, Netflix, answering live calls, because that's what they did, honestly.

[A]

So true. That's what Unwell could help us with.

[B]

Live Netflix.

[A]

It's so funny because, like, theoretically, half of this conversation is, like, a boardroom meeting we should have, but we're just having it out.

[B]

But it's called manifesting, and I really do believe in it. I had a meeting. I can even show you my phone. I had a meeting at Netflix, and I said, I want to make history, and that's what we're doing. No, I said, But I went in there and, you know, just like, a general meeting. So they talk about whatever. And then we brought up. Because I had just done Unwell and they were brought up, like, the Harry Jowsey show, like, one of my hair. And I was like, oh, my God, how does that work? Did you make it for him? Did you have this bachelor idea and whatever? And he's like, well, Unwell brought it. Like, they produced the show. They brought it to Netflix, but Harry was already in, like, the Netflix family or whatever. So anyways, the whole thing to say, Unwell is doing his show. They're doing another dating show with Gabby Wendy. And I was like, maybe me and Tana could host.

[A]

Like, that actually would be so fun. It is. It is a dream of mine. I love Ariana Maddox. Like, I am so inspired, obviously. I'm not saying I want to be Ariana Maddox. But I'm saying, like, hosting a dating show would fulfill such a dream of mine. And you and I would be so funny.

[B]

I feel like it'd be fun to do, like, like, a lesbian one or a queer one, kind of like a shot at love.

[A]

Like, that's how we'd be positive. Because if it was like. If it was, like, straight men on women. But that'd be funny too, because we'd be so mean as the host to this.

[B]

We literally never talk to them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, just leave the stars. The stars of the show are the women, not you. Yes. Stop.

[A]

But, like, that's so funny. You never see that. Like, think about how, like, Ariana Maddox even, like, bites her tong on Love is Blind. Like, imagine us as hosts, and we're, like, literally digging into the street, man.

[B]

Like, I was happening. So between Netflix and the unwell synergy, it's like, unwell, we love you. And so anyways, we do. And it's everything. We also are sponsored by Tinder. I was like, tinder is our sponsor. We love them. We're talking doing the ad. Ad read. Do you say, is it true? It is true.

[A]

It is true.

[B]

Oh, is that what you said?

[A]

Just like, loving Tinder.

[B]

Oh, loving Tinder. Yes. Because we were talking about. Were you ever on it?

[A]

I was on every app.

[B]

I was on Tinder.

[A]

The more I think about it, I was on every single app.

[B]

It was like. And I know we're doing an adery later, but I was, like, doing the ad ready. I was thinking, like, because what it was. Oh, I was talking about changing the name of, like. It was like, John, like, heart eyes to John this. And it's so true. Moses. And my phone originally was just like, the water squirt emoji because I was like, it was like, eggplant water squirt. And then I went to, like.

[A]

So funny that you just admitted that that is. And saying it so casually, like, screenshots.

[B]

It was called, like, mosey and that. And then it went to, like, we got a house together. So it was like Moses heart. Like, red heart house. And then it became wedding ring. Then it became one baby, two baby. So now it's like Moses was like three babies and, like, a house. And the ring, it's like it just kept adding on. That's actually really cute emoji back in there just to, like, have the full lore. But I was like, that was so real from the Tinder ad read. Whoever wrote that was so good because I was like, that is so real. And I Used to be on. I used to be on Tinder all the time. Even just for like entertainment, like when I was like bored. And like, I always tell people that.

[A]

Great things can come from the apps. Like, yeah, I feel like I had lots of good things come from the apps and then I would. But like, if I wanted to. Like, obviously I met Makoa. Everything is worked out the way it was supposed to for me. But I'm always telling Ashley, I'm like, get on the apps. Like, you never know what's gonna happen. Like, I believe in them truly.

[B]

Yeah. It could be friends, it could be entertainment, could be love of your life, it could be babies. It could be like all this stuff. And there's so many great stories. Anyways, not to be a whole Tinder thing, but this episode we are doing the challenge. We are challenging ourselves to as many questions as possible.

[A]

Oh my God, I forgot. Yeah, we have sweating already.

[B]

We have five minutes. Are you putting like a timer on? So you're gonna. The question will come and then we have five minutes.

[A]

We are having a relay race today of calls to how many we can answer. I'm actually excited for this. We've done. We've been yapping now like genuinely for two days straight.

[B]

Two days straight? Yeah, two days. It's so interesting that we do like two days back to back.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I don't know why. I guess it's like the time we have you like come back. Yeah, I go to New York.

[A]

It always works that way.

[B]

A week we have. I'm like, let's get as much in.

[A]

And it's kind of funny cuz the second day is always more delusional. Like in. In a fun way. Like we're more just like sleepy and like silly. Like today we've been so silly. So I think it's good to just like silly.

[B]

Positive though. Like literally like went to a change and it was just like, best day ever.

[A]

Literally, I'm having the best day. It's funny because I woke up today so tired and I was like, I'm so tired. And then I was like, wait, no, this is the best day ever. And like we were, we were a cheese pull today. It's just. It's been one of my favorite days. One of my favorite Tana and Trisha days of all time.

[B]

We've been a cheese pole. We've been death becomes there. We've been Alex Cooper. Like, there's just no end to our Halloween extravaganza, which I love, honestly and truly.

[A]

I just.

[B]

We are we love Unwell.

[A]

We're so. We're so well.

[B]

We're so well. Right. I guess I never thought about that.

[A]

Manifesting the unwell. Unwell needs some well.

[B]

Yeah. And we're so well. That's our network. We call it. We just come up with so well.

[A]

So well.

[B]

So well, actually. It's actually so well true.

[A]

All too well. Taylor Swift, 10 minute version. Oh, that's like. I could see you getting obsessed with that.

[B]

With what?

[A]

What you don't know about this Taylor Swift? Well, I'm assuming you don't know about this.

[B]

No idea.

[A]

Taylor Swift wrote a song about Jake Gyllenhaal called All Too well and just about knowing it all too well. But it's 10 minutes long, the song. And like, there's so much lore. Like she. It talks about his. His scarf. Her scarf.

[B]

A scarf. That's crazy.

[A]

No, but, like, you have to get. You have to get in on that. That should be your next deep dive. It's just the all too well lore.

[B]

Okay, and what is it? What's the. The summary?

[A]

The summary is she made a whole movie about it. Like. Like a little, like, long thing. He broke her heart. She was younger than him.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And like, he was just like, typical bag. Like, didn't care and like, all of the things. And she wrote one of the most poetic 10 minute beautiful songs and made a short film to it about Jake Gyllenhaal. There's so many Easter eggs in it. It's one of her greatest songs, in my opinion. It's so good. You need to get in.

[B]

Maybe I will. Maybe. Probably not. I'll try Gone Girl and Zep before. What is it? It's Gone Girl, Sex and City. Baby Girl.

[A]

Baby Girl. That's a good one. All too well is like. Oh, it is. It is. One of. Which one?

[B]

If I do one this weekend. Which one of all the things you tell me to do.

[A]

Well, you have to watch.

[B]

Okay. Gone Girl first.

[A]

Yes. That's because that's my favorite movie. I'm just All Too well is just a good song. And, like, it could make you a Swifty maybe.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, it's like a kind of like short film.

[B]

Like R. Kelly. Didn't he do a short film of music? No. No. Okay. R. Kelly music video. Like Are we in the Closet part.

[A]

No, it's good. It's good. Next time you're getting glam. Just maybe just try.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Just. I don't know.

[B]

Okay. Maybe that'll be on the long.

[A]

That's how I Became a swifty is, like, on the. Like, she's really coming at this man's neck lore like that. Those are the best ones to me, where she's poetic. Like, I can't get behind the like. Like, her new album. Like, just a girl bossing too close to the sun. I like Taylor Swift when she is poetic and heartbroken. You know, personally.

[B]

Right. She, like, got too healthy, and everyone's, like, not gonna do it.

[A]

I love that for her. I really do. But, like, I just. I love when she's a tortured poet.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, that is the struggle.

[B]

Right? People love you because they can relate to you when you're like. But you're like, but I'm so much better now.

[A]

That is so true. Like, people do prefer when people are unwell, but always bring it back.

[B]

Not sponsored.

[A]

Okay, we are starting the challenge.

[B]

We're starting the challenge. 3, 2. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[A]

Called.

[B]

Who was it? Mel Robbins. Was that her name? Tony Robbins? Tim Robbins.

[A]

Mel Robbins. Why did I want to say it was Meg Robbins, but I'm looking at my Ryan. I am like, oh, Meg. This is what I mean by day two. I'm hitting the day two brain fog. So I'm ready.

[B]

Meg Ryan.

[A]

Debbie Ryan.

[B]

We're gonna make this Debbie Ryan.

[A]

We just do this the whole time.

[B]

It's like, what is that? There is a game where you just say the first word that comes. Like, I say a word, and then you say the first word that comes to mind. What is that game?

[A]

Word association.

[B]

Is that a real game, or we just made that up?

[A]

No, that's a real.

[B]

I don't understand. Like, foot fetish.

[A]

Now you say a word to fetish. Like, you have to, like, say fetish. No, like, we got the same fetish. Like, what comes to your mind?

[B]

Alfredo. Okay. Fettuccine Alfredo. Chicken parmesan.

[A]

Oh, but then Italian.

[B]

Oh, cooking.

[A]

Mama Mia. Goth.

[B]

Marilyn Manson. I don't know.

[A]

Manson Ribs.

[B]

Jillies.

[A]

Baby Duck chilies.

[B]

Mmm. Barbecue sauce. Honey mustard. Chris. Chris. Chris.

[A]

Celia.

[B]

Canceled podcast RIP. Wait. We should play so hard. That's so stressful. We should play word association more.

[A]

We should 100 do that.

[B]

I played it really? Like, I never played it fully. That's. That's stressful.

[A]

I'm unwell.

[B]

I'm unwell.

[A]

Please buy us. Oh, my God. We should play word association.

[B]

That was. It's so much pressure, and, like, all my nerd is food. I'm always just thinking about food.

[A]

No, but I kind of loved that you said crispers, and I said crystalia that was great.

[B]

Well, we just did a dissertation on.

[A]

The crisp we were talking about for a full hour.

[B]

Like, not a good way. Yeah, just, like, off camera. Yeah, yeah. Not to be repeated on camera because we don't want the drums. But not in a good way. Yes.

[A]

Devin cut us off. You got this. You got this. I believe. I believe in Devin to cut us off. Like, truly.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

Hi, Trish. Hi, Tanner. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been together for a couple months. He has a tattoo on his chest. It's a zodiac sign. And he's told me that it's one of his exes, and I just want to know, like, how do I tell him that I want him to remove it and that it makes me feel, like, uncomfortable?

[A]

So she's dating a guy who has a zodiac sign tattooed across his chest of his ex girlfriend's zodiac sign. What would you do? We have five minutes.

[B]

Dump him.

[A]

Yeah, I think I would get a tattoo gun and I would try to cover it. Tattoo gun. The tattoo.

[B]

What do you mean, you suck the tattoo out?

[A]

No, I'm tattooing over it. Oh, you are. You're getting, like a full. You're. You're getting my zodiac sign. Like, God, hope it's not like, Sagittarius or something, because, like, I'm covering that. I don't know actually, though, because I. I've dated guys with tattoos for other girls, and I just got over it.

[B]

Oh, I hate it. No, absolutely not. Like, what do you mean? No, I don't.

[A]

But I also dated people who are like, I dated a lot of coloring books, school desks, lots of tattoos.

[B]

Oh, they get it for everybody. They add your name to it too. You're like, well, whatever.

[A]

They have their fifth grade gym teacher's name tattooed on my own.

[B]

Right. Okay, then it doesn't mean as like.

[A]

I dated a guy with a to do list on his thigh. It just said, like, to do. And it was like, wake up and, like, whatever.

[B]

Oh, I thought, like, women's names. It was like, to do Tana.

[A]

No, he actually one of the to dos was, like, love whoever his ex girlfriend was. And then he, like, got rid of that and crossed it out. And I remember that I was like.

[B]

I think it's so weird, but I do love when guys do that. Like, I think Johnny Depp had Winona forever and changed it to, like, wino forever. And I was like, okay.

[A]

I actually, like, love people getting tattoos for each other. Like, weirdly, I know it's bad juju. Everyone, I have matching tattoos with for the most part. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I do kind of whatever. I do kind of believe your grads on them. No, you.

[B]

You kept that.

[A]

I mean, I am lasering young AF off my ass, but, like, other than that. No, like, they were fun moments and memories and times. And like, when you are that girl and the guy's getting the tattoo for you, it is kind of everything. Like. But then it's like. Yeah. I don't know. Across the chest and like, her zodiac sign is fierce. I would be like, fix that.

[B]

Yeah. And also, if you just like, put your zodiac on there, then you just look like a zodiac killer. It's like, who did you kill?

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

It's just like, I don't like that either. I'm like, pro tattoo for other people. I just. I cannot do it for me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, yeah, someone's. I'm gonna get my. Your name tattooed on me. I'm big. What are you? Are you psychotic? Like, no. Unless they have a bunch. I'm like, whatever. But if you get, like, one, I'm like, that's weird.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I like it. I'm out of that era. I stopped getting tattoos because I just, like, I don't like them. I always get them and hate them. Mokoa has no tattoos. No plans to get any, so I think I'm out of that era, but.

[B]

Oh, he has no tattoos.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. That is. Yeah.

[C]

Different.

[A]

He's cuz his family, their values are very. No tattoo.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Which again, just loving the brand. The rebrand.

[B]

What Kim say there's like a. No stickers on a car, no bumper.

[A]

Stickers on a Bentley. But I love no stickers on a car.

[B]

I was like, love that balling because I'm.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would get Moses like, tattooed all over me to get to my forehead.

[A]

Do you have any tattoos done?

[B]

No. No.

[A]

Wow. I love that, though.

[B]

Like, maybe scared also. I'm like, so not like, I changed my mind on, like, what I'm obsessed over.

[A]

That's. That was my thing is I would get something and then just be like, this is wrong. And like, I don't know.

[B]

Yeah. Five minutes.

[A]

But we didn't even give her any advice.

[B]

You would do.

[A]

Yeah, Cover that. Make him cover it, laser it. Or just get over it.

[B]

Or dump him.

[A]

Or just dump him. I don't think dump him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know. But we can also disagree, right? You're right.

[B]

We can. Yes.

[A]

Like, Trisha thinks Dump him. I don't. And that's okay.

[B]

That's the world we live in.

[A]

Yes, I know. Because we always, like, agree with each other. I know, that's true.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's okay. We are babies first. Disagree.

[C]

I just wanted to tell you guys some crazy lore that happened this weekend. I drove like eight hours to visit my best friend in Virginia and just kind of as a joke, we were going to see Tom Sandoval. Please reserve your judgment. Anyway, when we were like in the pit of the show, you know, we were drinking our Pinot Grigio, having a good time, and this girl was like, come with me to the meet and greet after. I'm his girlfriend and she like told us to hang out with her. So we stuck with her after the show and then became part of like the inner circle and just like hung out with this girl as if we were like close friends. Friends went to the bar, like the bar, like the after party and stuff. Like, hung out with her family and literally we're just like acting like we were supposed to be there with like all of her best friends. And then me and my best friend pretending that we belonged and then we hung out with her and Tom Sandoval until 2:00 clock in the morning. And I'm going to give a shout out to Tom Sandoval. He was a really cool guy to hang out with. I'm embarrassed to have said that. I'm embarrassed that any of this happened. But, you know, sometimes you just got to go out and do crazy things with your best friend and life is good. We will remember this night for the rest of our lives.

[A]

Oh, my God. Can I please put in we love you. Can we I please put in a request for people to call in for any of their weird, good or bad celebrity interactions. Yeah, like love, love. Like that made me want to do an entire episode with this style of call because, like, people have so much random tea. Like anyone, the most random person. I want to hear it. I love it. Please call in. Wow.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Tom Sandoval is a nice guy. Yeah.

[B]

It was like such a range. It's like so embarrassing. Hold your judgment. He was so nice. Loved it. We were in the inner circle, but never again. This was embarrassing. Why am I talking? So many emotions. Yeah, same, honestly. And Tom Sandoval is that one because I like, know nothing about him. But then I saw on Traders, like, oh, he's kind of funny. Everyone's like, no, he's the worst person. He broke this person's heart and cheated on her and whatever. I was just like, okay, we hate him. And then I saw him on America's Got Talent just like singing like blinding lights by the week. I'm like, I love him. Like, it's just like. It is like. Like I don't know him, but he seems.

[A]

This is me saying something that, like, I'm probably. I'm gonna run into him at a party one day and I'm gonna be like, what did I say about you? Why did I say this? Like, like it very flippant. I'm just gonna say it and then like, watch me run into Tom Sandoval and like, have to eat my own words.

[B]

Meet with Gary Josie.

[A]

But I would do anything to punch him in the face.

[B]

What did he do?

[A]

Me stacking, shocked at what I said.

[B]

What did he do?

[A]

Because correct me if I'm wrong and he didn't do this, then I will immediately retract and apologize. Me unsure. I just said I would love to punch him in the face, but he shamed Ariana Maddox live on television for wearing a shirt while sleeping with him. And then he ended up having been cheating on her. And he said, like, real sexy. You were wearing a shirt. And then she released T shirts that like, said that, right? And he was like, awful to Arianimatics and I love her.

[B]

I don't really understand. He's like, you were a T shirt while I had sex with you and I don't like it.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Like, she was like, I had sex with you. And he was like, yeah, in a big T shirt. Real sexy. Like being a. Okay. On national television, I would let Arianomatics step on me in her stilettos and her beautiful retrofat gowns. I would let her hit me with the semi truck. How dare you on her. And I can't forgive you yet, Tom Sandoval. I don't care how many electric guitars and singing moments you have. I'm go on trader six times. I don't like you.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Okay.

[A]

And I might regret it.

[B]

Yeah, I support you. Yeah, I support it.

[A]

That was a real response. I'm not saying you have to join me in this because I like.

[B]

No, I join you because I found.

[A]

That out, like, kind of recently.

[B]

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[A]

Like, you know what I mean? Like, I just, I fell in love with Ariana Maddox, like, just across the love island. She has beauty. She is Grace. She is Miss American Race. And he cheated on her, right? Like, yeah. And it's Just like, I just. And now it's like, men just love to do that. Like, I'm gonna cheat. I'm gonna say the most, like, weird thing, trying to make you feel bad about yourself on national television. But now I sing. Now I sing. Everyone should love me. Now I sing. I don't.

[B]

Okay, I love that because I do. I. I love this turn for you because I do like it, because I do think there's, like, straight men you're friends with. I'm like, they're the worst people ever. But, like. But I know them. They have such a good heart. So I do love this turn of being, like, I don't care. You said. You said you hated this T shirt on her. And, like, you're gonna go, so 10. And I like that because I think we should do that. I think we should be harder.

[A]

It is one of those things where it's like, you know, like, people. He might be a very redeeming friend, right? Like, I could know him and then be like, well, he's a horrible partner. Anybody's grown and he could be a good friend. And it's true. It could. It's. I don't know him. So that's why I'm so passionate.

[B]

I get you. Because also, that's embarrassing. What he's. I'm sure they're in their 30s or something, so it's also embarrassing, like, why are you doing this in your 30s? Like, that I'm. I'm with you. I love it. I love that for you. Because I was like, okay, I love this. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I just. That one just. I don't know what it is. It's like, I. And I don't know Ariana Maddox personally. I'm very parasocial, but she is just like. Like, that's gotta suck, right? Like, imagine, like, you're in this public relationship and then he cheats on you, and then you guys are at some reunion, you finally get the balls to talk about it, and then he's gonna, like, try to make you feel self conscious about how you were in bed on national television. Like, and it's like, I would want to wear a T shirt. You too? Like, you hate over my face.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Don't want to see you literally like that.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

We get them now.

[B]

I hate them.

[A]

I think I just. And now, anyway, it's just like, I went on Traders and now I sing. But I mean, people also do grow and change. So let me retry. Let me say no, you have me.

[B]

Anything about you. I was like, yeah, you're Right. You were awful. You were off pitch. Like, able should sue you. That was the worst ever.

[A]

Yeah, I just. Yeah.

[B]

With you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

You're right. That's a whole other.

[A]

Like, people can grow and change, though.

[B]

I was like, yeah, you're right. Okay. I hate him now.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, see, I literally. It's like, I believe in people to grow and change, and I believe that you can regret things and you can change and you can. Whatever. But he did get.

[B]

A lot of people did hate him. Right? Like, first, I think he did get like a. Like a resounding we hate you. I think he's having a little redemption. Maybe the Harry Jowsy of it. All. Right. Like, I was like, he was the worst. But, like, now, I don't know. Like, sometimes he grows on me a little bit. I'm like, maybe he's better. I don't know. People grow up. I suppose people do grow.

[A]

And like, I'm. There's also. I'm also very. I don't know everything. You know what I mean? Like, maybe it's like someone's gonna comment me like, Tom Sandoval did these nine great things for.

[B]

But I don't say that either. They're like, well, they did all these good things. And I was like, well, okay, but let's not just because they did good things. I mean, they did these awful things. Things too. So.

[A]

But like, if he's had a crazy growth arc that I don't know about, like, forgive me if I'm like, talking two years ago right now.

[B]

Became a monk or something like that.

[A]

Yeah, the timer and thank God.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Too much time. Convince me though. I was like, you know what? Yes.

[A]

We don't like. And honestly.

[B]

Yeah, Me trying to defend him. I. I don't know him either. It's fine. Everything's fine. We love Ariana.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hi, Tana and Trish. I love you guys so much. This is a question for Tana. So I'm early on in my sobriety journey, and you were a huge, huge inspiration to me in stopping drinking. I actually, over the last month have been having all these dreams where you and I are friends and you're, like, helping me through sobriety. So thank you for joining me on the astral plane and, like, working through my. In my subconscious. Like, very much appreciated. I don't have, like a ton of friends in real life to talk about this kind of stuff with, so it's been super helpful for me. But my question is, so I'm getting married next year in 2026. And the thought of not drinking at some of these major events is, like, really tripping me up. Like, it's hard for me to imagine my bachelorette trip without drinking, my wedding without drinking. I know it's the right thing, like, logically, but I'm hung up on it. And I'm curious if you have any just, like, words of encouragement or advice, because I know you kind of went through a similar thing with your birthday this last year. So. Yeah. Love you guys so much. Thanks.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, first of all, Trisha, I just want to say thank you so much for being so down to advocate for something that is such a big part of my life on this platform. And just the. And same with me with, like, your postpartum, like, we have our things that, like, we both haven't necessarily, like, gone through, like, the other one and just supporting each other in advocating so important.

[B]

This is the comment I see the most, is, like, people on their sober journey and, like, your sobriety. I think this is, like, the most important thing. I think this is your biggest platform and your most important platform, like, sobriety. And I think you should speak on it everywhere.

[A]

In a way I just appreciate.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

And you have just been such a supportive friend across this. And even just, you are one of the people where, when I really think about the fact that I'm sober now, I'm like, I'm so happy I can be sober to show up for Trisha in, like, the best way. And it's just, I. You have been a big part of my sober journey. Journey, just almost like, unknowingly. You know what I mean? Like, I don't just. It's very amazing. So with that being said, first of all, that is so crazy. Like, the spiritual realm. And just like, that, like, that is so. That means so much to me. Like, that is so cool that, like, a version of me almost is, like, meeting you, like, I will never forget this call. Like, that is. That is so cool that I am like. And I am like, you know what I mean? We might not know each other personally. I always tell people, though, people, when they come up, they'll be like. Like, we're so parasocial. I'm so parasocial to you. And I go, but how parasocial is it when I am really bearing my heart out there and, like, you have saved my life. You know what I mean? Like, it's so. It's not parasocial to me at all. Like, truly, like, I am there for you and I. It's really cool that you feel that. And I love you. With that being said, to answer your question, first of all, I just want to say I'm so proud of you. And I struggled a lot with this where. A lot with this where I was like, the big moments of my life are no longer going to be fun because I'm sober and no one else is. And like, oh, my God, my first Thanksgiving that way, my first Christmas that way, my first Coachella that way, my first. I had to do my first New Year's that way, like, was. I thought it would all be so hard, each thing. Like, just whether it was Christmas, whether it was New Year's, whether it was Coachella, I would be coming up to it. And I was like, oh, my God, like, I don't want to do this sober. And my birthday, a lot of my relapses were at the fault of this thought and this mindset where I'd be like, I can't do that sober, so I'm just gonna drink. And then I'd find myself blackout drunk three months after the big event. And I'd been drunk every day since that thing that I convinced myself that I needed to have alcohol for. And I'd be like, wow, I'd find myself at another rock bottom and I'd be like, oh, my God, I wish I didn't get drunk for that birthday or for that event or for that whatever. Because all of these things transpired that were negative from it. And as I continue to conquer these new events and milestones sober, I've almost turned over this insane level of gratitude because how cool is it that you're actually going to be able to remember every moment from your bachelorette party? How cool is it that you're going to be talking to all your girls and, like, so thankful for them and taking photos and, like, looking good and all of the things and like, just glowing and like, the. That's. That's so sick. And facilitating alcohol for people who can have it, like, that was my other thing too, you know, where I was just like, oh, my God, I wish I could have it, but it's like, I can't. So you have that glass of red wine for me. Cuz you can stop, like, you know, like, you have that wine to celebrate for me. Like, I don't. And like, I'm sure that even a part of your sobriety journey maybe might be like, wow, I want to be the best wife. You know what I mean? I want to be the best. I want to be present in My marriage, I don't want to, like, sing and do things that are going to embarrass me. So I think that it. If you are. Because it seems like with her placing this call, she really wants to, like, lead with that, like, be sober. But it's like these events, like, if that's what you want, just remind yourself all the reasons why you are sober. And, girl, do it. I think that you try, and I think that you'll end up being like, wow, I'm so happy I did that. Because imagine the hangover and imagine saying and doing the things that you don't want to do on your special day. And imagine, you know, up relationships and just different. There are negatives and there are reasons why we go sober, and I think you got to really focus on those and find the new fun, you know, because that's what it is. It's like you. You go sober and you think you're never gonna have fun again in the ways that you were. And then you find all the new fun things. Maybe you're going to bed a little earlier. Maybe you're spending that night, like, writing a letter to your partner. Maybe you're like, there's just so many great good things that you can do. And I'm gonna say, go for it. I'm gonna say push yourself, because you won't regret it. You know what I mean? You'll never regret it. Being not drunk. You will all like, at least me, I will always regret being drunk, you know, so. And I know that maybe your bachelorette is also different. Maybe it's, like, more brunch oriented or more like, I know that my bachelorette party, well, I'll probably go to Vegas, but that's because I'm from there. But I just mean other than that. Like, I don't know, like, I will do wholesome daytime things with my friends for my bachelorette because, like, there's no point in getting drunk and, like, being. I'm like, dude, that's not my life.

[B]

Maybe like a mocktail. I went to Demi's release party. Was mocktails. So good.

[A]

They were like, yes.

[B]

And just. Yeah, it's a great idea.

[A]

Like, maybe you're eating your, like, death row meal with all your girls, you know? But. Yeah, I love you. I'm so happy we got to meet on the Astral Realm. And I hope that we get to meet in the real one. And.

[B]

And the glow. You glow like, Tana, not only are you on time and you're present, but everyone says that you're like, Glowing. You have no lashes, no extensions. And I'm like, I saw you outside Chili, and it really is like an inner glow. It's everything I did. Just think of, like, while you were talking, I was like, oh, my gosh. Speaking of unwell, netfl picking up a show. You should do a version. There's two reality shows back in the early 2000s. Paris Hilton's my BFF and sober house Dr. Drew.

[A]

Paris Hilton's my new.

[B]

So you should be like, Tana Mongeau is my sober BFF. Yeah, you can be the sober BFF to people who are trying to get, like, sober. So it's also a form of, like, Sober House with Dr. Drew, where he would go and, like, do that. So you find these girls like this who are trying to get sober, staying sober, and you're like, they're sober, Big sis.

[A]

I would love to.

[B]

You know, it doesn't have to be, like, a competition show, but it's just kind of like a little show where you guys are all just, like, in a little, like, therapy together and just showing them fun things they can do without drinking.

[A]

I would literally love to, because it's like, I never thought I could do this. And, like, oh, my God, even just hearing that, I'm like, I'm rooting for that. It's like, normalize a sober bachelorette. Go ride some horses with your girls or just play games with them. Have fun. Like, it just. That's what it is. Rewrite your idea fun slowly. And that comes by doing. So I think that. Do it. You got this, and I love you, and I appreciate the call so much. Yeah, he did.

[B]

In five minutes, too. He called the timer, you know, trying.

[A]

To, like, rapid fire my thoughts.

[B]

That's an important one, that one. You could go for 20 minutes about that one.

[A]

I know, but thank you, Trisha, also, for giving me the space to do that.

[B]

Of course. That's, like, so important, and people love it, and I think that's, like, that's your thing. And I'm so proud of you, and.

[A]

It'S so cool because I really. Even just our friendship in this show, I can't imagine if I. I'm always gonna be an alcoholic, but, I mean, if I was still in active alcoholism across not Loveline, I. Oh, my God. Let me stop. Let me stop. Let me stop. Let me stop. Call. No, that's crazy. I would just suck. It was my point. Well, shirt's making me more problematic.

[B]

No, no, you're eating.

[A]

You're, like, wearing this, and I'm saying.

[B]

Chaotic same, same me depending Tom saying of. I'm like, well Tana. I was like, why am I defending him? He's awful. You're right. Me just thinking he's like cute. I said he's cute.

[A]

No, but you're right.

[B]

No, sorry.

[A]

I think.

[C]

Hi, I love you guys. I'm just calling basically more for Trish, but do you let your kids watch TV all day? I feel like I have Ms. Rachel on all day just to get some peace, but I feel like a terrible moment. Let me know what you do or if you have any advice on a newly one year old that is in his terrible twos. I feel like I'm losing my mind here. Thanks. Love you.

[B]

Been there, been there girl. Like yeah, the toddler stage is wild because they are toddlers and you know, that's what toddlers do. But yeah, it made me feel crazy. Especially when they don't listen to you. When they don't like when they just are like defiant and everything. I think putting on Ms. Rachel all day to find some peace is very valid. I am like that person that's like whatever it takes to find peace.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Because it's like Ms. Rachel is like the least of it. I know. I suggest if people like, I think they're going crazy or can't find peace, you know, sometimes I'm like, sometimes check yourself in somewhere like, you know, put the kids somewhere safe. Like it's like, so if Yours is just Ms. Rachel to find peace, I think you're actually doing a pretty good job. Because some people, you know, need to go seek outside treatment and be like, I can't. Because it is like motherhood can drive you absolutely crazy. Especially with the one year old. I don't know if you're doing it alone. I don't know if you're like partner's working. I don't know what it is. I have a full time partner at home. I have my mom. We have helpers. Like we have like all these things and still I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes and I have to just like find peace in the bathroom. So anything you can to get peace is fine. Yeah, I know something like no screen's like, yeah, it's like probably not good. But you know what my kids do? Watch TV morning and night. During the day we try to do like an activity and stuff with that them but they're still really creative like at night. Malibu can have her iPad at any time and lately she's been choosing to do like play doh and slime and not that. So I think it's just, like, phases, whatever you can to get through. I watched TV all the time as a child. Like, I was TV from the moment I got home from school in the morning. I was TV all the time because my mom worked. And I still think I was very creative. Like, I got creativity from the TV so my imagination would run wild. So when I was at school, I was, like, writing really good papers. So he's one. One day he's gonna go to school or be in daycare, and, like, he'll have other creative outlets. But for now, if that's what Your piece is, Ms. Rachel is amazing. She's everyone's babysitter. We love Ms. Rachel, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And good for you for wanting to find peace for yourself, because you need that too. Otherwise, you will go in. Yeah.

[A]

Because it's like, if that's helping her be, like, a good mom to show up. Like, if you need to breathe for a second and Ms. Rachel needs to take over for a second so that in a couple hours, you are in a better mood and peaceful and you feel better mentally.

[B]

Like, right? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Just. Oh, it's so sad how much society makes moms feel so guilty for, like, so many things. When it's like, oh, my God, like, you are raising a whole human.

[B]

We're trying to survive. Like, no one tells you, like, motherhood is beautiful how, like, insanely hard and, like, crazy it does make you. And, like, the rewards are obviously, like, worth it. But it's, like, the most insane thing that I was like, once I became mom. Like, they never tell you how, like, hard and crazy. And sometimes you're just like, what? What have I done? Like, it's just. And then you're there. You're like, you have the child, and you're like, oh, my God. So it's very normal to feel that way, especially early on at one year. So. Yeah. Yeah. Social media, that's the bad part. Social media is the judginess. Like, a while iPad, kids at the restaurant, I was like, okay, well, we don't know what their situation is, why they have to be at a restaurant. Why this? Like, like, it's just people could be too judgy. So.

[A]

Yeah. It's so true. And it's like, if you are doing your best and you're being a good parent, like, do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just no matter what. You know what I mean? As long as you're not abusive, you're raising honest, respectful, good people. Trying your best.

[B]

Like, trying your best. And just even the fact that, like, I don't want to. I feel like a terrible mother. If you feel like a terrible mother, like, if you're feeling guilt, that means you're a good mom. If you're even worried about being a bad mom, that means you're doing a good job. Because bad moms don't worry about being a bad mom. You know, bad moms don't be like, am I being a bad mom? They're just bad moms.

[A]

That is. That is like the sentence. Like, that is, oh, my God. And how cool that you get to, like, just. Oh, yeah. I'm feeling very grateful for not love lying today. Yay.

[B]

Did you watch TV as a kid? What was your childhood?

[A]

Yes, of course. I watched so much TV as a kid. That's interesting.

[B]

So.

[A]

And that was like. Yeah, like, daydreaming into, like, that's a lot of. I talk about a lot of how watching TV as a kid changed my life for the better, gave me hope. I always talk about Full House. Like, I would watch it in daydream that I was, like, in Danny Tanner's household. And that, like, gave me hope to as a kid and, like, Hannah Montana and like, all of those things. Like, I don't know if I'd even be here if that.

[B]

Yeah. Watching, like, oh, I want to do that or something.

[A]

Yeah. Like, you know, tv. You're so right. It's people, like, TV rots the brain.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But also, it can spark creativity and people who are intelligent and, like, all of those things, you know, that's why.

[B]

I want to move to la. It's like, I have save the balance. Like, I want to be in la, you know? And I do think it's educational now. Even Ms. Rachel, I would say, of all things, Ms. Rachel's a good thing to watch because my kids are super smart. Not only do they know sign languages, they actually know three other languages. Is that they've watched from TV or just, like, you know, like, same thing with Moses, actually. I'm like, how did you learn English? He's like, oh, I just, like, watched a bunch of TV shows. I was like, what do you mean? Just watch tv? And it's, like, seeped in your head. So it can be educational. Ms. Rachel does sign language. There's another version of Ms. Rachel that teaches, like, Spanish. So my kids, like, are learning Spanish stuff through the tv, which is, like, amazing. And they'll say stuff. So there's actually just, like, A lot of educational sharing. They teach about sharing. So it's come a long way. So don't feel too hard on yourself.

[A]

Yeah, we love you, girl.

[B]

Love the cops. Well, that was a Great one. Wow.

[A]

30 seconds left.

[B]

Wow. Killed it. Crushed it. We are so fast.

[A]

We're taking our calls today.

[B]

We're on fire.

[A]

It's funny too, because every time we take calls too, I'm like, that's the best thing ever. I love this. This is like, oh my God, we love the call.

[B]

We need to do more calls just.

[A]

As much as we love the app.

[B]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. More calls for sure.

[A]

Yes. Like, oh my God, we love the calls.

[B]

This episode of Not Loveline brought to you by Tinder.

[A]

When's the last time you had a real crush? Like, I'm talking and checking your phone every three seconds, getting butterflies in your stomach when you a tender notification from them and smiling at the first photo that took your breath away kind of crush. Honestly, it's just the best feeling in the world, right?

[B]

Cuz suddenly you're happier, sillier, lighter, even glowing. Life just feels easier and more exciting. You literally jump out of bed ready to go each day. Even Mondays feel kind of fun.

[A]

And don't even get me started on if they double text instant serotonin that giddy euphoric can't stop smiling. Big crush energy.

[B]

Well, those crush feelings are happening right now on Tinder. Because on Tinder there's no pressure to take things too seriously.

[A]

Just like flirt and vibe with the people who actually get you. Next thing you know, Makoa Tinder guy is makoa heart emoji in your phone, right?

[B]

Go from eggplant to wedding ring. Yes. So get on Tinder. There are so many heart melting, stomach fluttering potential matches out there who can't wait to get giddy when your name pops up on their phone too.

[A]

Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder. It starts with a swipe. Download Tinder.

[B]

We love you Tinder. Thank you for sponsoring Not Loveline.

[C]

Hey Trisha. Hey Tana. I need your advice. So pretty much I'm 25 and this is like my first six figure salary year. And fun fact, I've only dated like losers. So I think I'm at a point in my life where I only want to date somebody who makes as much money as me. But I don't know if that sounds selfish or if I'm like looking in the wrong areas. I just don't want to fund a grown man's life. Anymore. So, yeah, if you guys just let me know.

[A]

I think this is actually a really great thing to talk about. You know what I mean? Just being a successful woman and then navigating like how you want to date and all of those things. And I think that boundaries and non negotiables are so important, especially if you've tried. I will say that sometimes we go through something as a woman with a man and then we want to really overcorrect and like date the exact opposite. And sometimes it ends up working out perfectly and sometimes it's like you don't necessarily like, need that, you know what I mean? But like, absolutely go out and do that. Like, you should go get in a relationship with a man, like, and have that boundary behind him. It's definitely harder to find a successful man who's kind and good because a lot of times when men are driven for their job, they're also driven to cheat. They're driven for women, they're driven for lots of other things. So there's, there's caveats of both sides that can make a man awful, but there's caveats of both sides that can make a man great as well. And good for you. You're like, I'm done dating lizards. Let me like, let me, let me step this up and like, absolutely try that boundary. And, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

[B]

Yeah, there is nothing wrong. I would say I agree with you totally. Like, if that is like something you're so adamant. Absolutely, like, for sure. Maybe. I would also say maybe find someone who can give equal value. Right? So it's like I'm have always made a lot of money. Finding someone who makes just as much money as me as more is like damn near impossible. And like you were saying to your point, if they do make more, they're very controlling, they don't want you. I mean, so many successful women who like, they had kids and they just expect them to be like a stay at home mom and quit their jobs and whatever. So it's like, that can be hard too. Like you said, I value so much. It's like equal value. Like, are we putting in the same amount? Like with me and Moses, I was like, we are so 50, 50, 100%. Maybe it's not like a 50, 50 like financial contribution, but Moses has like lifted me up and doing my career and like building sets and sacrificing his career for mine. So it's like, yes, I bring a lot of like, financial value, but like everything else, he brings a Lot of value with our kids, with family, with stability, with helping me with my career, like management, all that stuff. So I think there's like an equal value. And sometimes you don't know that till later on. Right when I met Moses, he had a great job and he was making money. He owned a building. Like, he all this up and I was like, oh, okay, this sounds like someone who could be equal to me. And like, weirdly, we did have like equal amounts of money to like buy this house together at the beginning. And then he like, gave up his like, job to like, help me with mine. But I think equal value sometimes is more important than equal amounts of money. But I will say yes. I would never have dated someone who had like a roommate or something or like, never paid for a dinner. Yeah, like, that's kind of important in the beginning. And then later on you find out if they can add value to your life or you add value to his and someone quits a job or whatever.

[A]

That is so true. It's like you want someone with ambition also and just all of those things. Like, I think that was like some of the most insane advice that you've given across the show. That was so good because the value thing is so important. It sounds like she's also maybe dated some guys who like, had no money and like, no desire to fix that, or had no money, but, like, she was paying for everything and they weren't holding their weight in any way. Like, I felt, I think that your standards have just risen in so many ways and you are now on this journey where you're gonna find out exactly what that is. Cause, like, right now, yes, it could be someone who makes just as much money as you, or it could be someone who is so supportive, driven, creative, and then like, also provides so much to your life to where you're not thinking like, this bum is my boyfriend. You're like, so amazed by the equal value is. You said it flawlessly. Like, just so important to look for and good for you. Congratulations. And it's like six figures.

[B]

Okay. Love that. That's the best. When you make six figures. Yeah, that's huge. And your standards should be high and someone should give you equal value, if not more. I'd be like, you know what? Yeah, like, I'm bringing the bacon, but let's, let's see what you got, you know?

[A]

Yes. Like, and just like, we don't talk about that enough. Like, just when you become successful as a woman and you finally, like, maybe your, your self worth is higher, you know, Your worth, you know what you want. Then it's like this whole new avenue of dating that can feel so overwhelming.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And when you date a bunch of bad guys, guys, I think it's so easy to convince yourself like that the world is just filled with bad guys. And it's like, no, you are going to find someone who like, meets everything that you want and more. And if that takes a second, if you've got to filter out the lizards, it is a little harder. But like you, you will.

[B]

Lizards is your word of the day today.

[A]

You only have to give Brooke credit for that. I think Brooke started. I think Brooke started that during Clinton Kane. She was like this. Or at some point, like, that was always.

[B]

I've never heard you say it before. I love it.

[A]

That was. That's Brook Schofield.

[B]

You're in a year delay thing. You're like the lizard.

[A]

That lizard? No, but the. Brook would always just say that about like a man and like, I. I took that one from her.

[B]

I love a lizard. Okay, I don't love a lizard.

[A]

We hate, but we love. I love her saying that. I was like. That is the perfect way to describe it. Like women will just be dating these lizards.

[B]

Poor lizards.

[A]

I know. Reptiles. Yeah, I love a little gecko. But you know, just like. Yeah, like. And that's the worst when you are dating a man with like no ambition, no drive, Navy blue bed sheets and he wants you to pay for dinner and he'. You're not even while you have sex. Like.

[B]

Or see the potential, you know, like, see there's. If he has potential or something. But.

[A]

Yeah, like just. But you're gonna find someone who fulfills you in every way, whether it is financially or just value that they provide to you.

[B]

Yeah, that's scary. But we did.

[A]

Timer up?

[B]

Crushed.

[A]

The execs have said on to the next call. Congratulations again, girl.

[B]

We love you. I love these calls. Keep them coming.

[A]

Yes, this is everything?

[B]

Yeah, it's fine.

[C]

Hi, Tristan. Tana. I hope you guys can listen to this one soon. It's a little bit urgent. My boyfriend and I's two year anniversary is coming up on November 5th. And you know, he's gotten to that point of dating where he doesn't really plan dates or do anything special. He's not really fighting for me and I'm in that weird place of like. Well, I know I deserve better, but I love this man and he's so good to me and he's never done anything wrong. But that's besides the point basically, is the Toxic if I don't say anything about our anniversary coming up. And I just wait and see if he remembers because something's telling me he's not gonna remember. And then I'm gonna have the ultimate reason to crash out, which, like, Loki, I need right now. But I don't know, I just wanted to see what you guys think. I don't know, I should be honest and just have a conversation about it. But, you know, we're a little bit here. Oh, that's my hound dog saying hello. Okay, well, I love you guys so much. My name is actually. I don't want to do that. Love you guys.

[A]

She's so real for that.

[B]

Actually don't want to do that.

[A]

I love you, girl so much. And we got to the call in time. We have time to help her before the anniversary, which makes me very happy.

[B]

I don't know though, actually, I think this episode's after that.

[A]

I know. That's what I was thinking. I was, oh, my God, like, we just have to air this one like on like tick tock or something. We gotta save her, send it to.

[B]

Her personally and then we'll put it in the episode.

[A]

Yeah, it's like, oh my God. Like, oh, we really should, because.

[B]

What.

[A]

I mean, I understand this feeling like. And I feel like this happens more often than not where it's the girl saying this about the man. You date for a while, you get comfortable, he's not doing as much. And it is so worthy of a crash out. It's the worst. It's like men will do the most to get a woman and then just, you know, and like we as women too, just naturally, I feel. Feel like more often than not. Not always. You see a lot of great men, but like, we remember more and like, just like, whatever. And it's like it's the feeling. But I will say that. So if you are dating a good man, okay, this is all. If he sucks in any way, girl, crash the out. Don't tell him about it. Lose your mind. The whole nine. Okay, this is not applicable if he is a bad man, but if he is a good guy and just kind of not doing the most. I think that you men, some of the best advice I've ever received is like, sometimes you just have to tell a man what you want and not get mad at him for not reading your mind. Like, if you're like, our anniversary is coming up and I'm gonna be really disappointed if we don't celebrate this in a way that I deserve if I do not Feel celebrated in a way that I deserve. If our anniversary is not in the way that I deserve, I'm gonna pull my weight here. I expect you to too. I really like these restaurants. Or like, I saw this. I like, even if I see cute things on Tick Tock, I'll send it to Makoa. Like a cute date idea and just be like, that's so perfect. Because it's like sometimes he just might not know. And he gets lost in that. And then like men still, I'm not excusing it, but like gets lost in not knowing what to do. Doesn't do anything like, as a result of that. Whereas if he knew maybe a little more of what you wanted, everything could go so perfectly. So I'm just kind of like, communicate, vocalize what you want from a man and if he doesn't deliver, then like crash out.

[B]

Queen 100 I think that's so true on both ways. Yes. I told Moses early on he did not even think about Valentine's Day as being special. And the one Valentine's Day he did not remember or like, didn't do stuff for, I was just like, I. I was so upset and I like told him about it and like never forgets a Valentine's Day after that. Makes everything so special. And even like anniversaries will come around and I'll be. He'll be like, okay, we're gonna plan this. I'm like, honestly. And then I'll just tell him, like, I don't feel like doing something. It's like totally really fun. Like it's just about communication. And same thing with him. Like he used to never communicate with me. But he does the tick tock thing. He'll send me tick tocks of like sushi places to try. So like, if we ever are in like downtown or something. I know. And same thing with his like, birthday. I never know what to do. And he's like, you know, maybe a sushi place. Like, he has to tell me because sometimes I'm like, they're doing the situation. Sometimes I don't know what he wants. Does he not really want anything? Does he want us to be like, we should do a sushi for my birthday. So sometimes you should tell people, does it take like the romance out of it? Maybe for some. But I love. I have a. I have a gift, like album we share. And I'm like, if you ever want to think of a gift, something in this realm, it could be something you. So that way you don't get that disappointment. I think that's like, so true.

[A]

Like sharing, like, a Pinterest board with them or whatever.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's, like, important to ask for what you want if you're someone who doesn't care. And just like, when your partner does romantic gestures. Great. I used to be, before we had kids, I would say that about the dates. I'm like, we need to go on more dates. And then Moses plan date. Every time I was glam, he'd plan a date because I was like, we're not ordering food. I'm glam before kids, of course. So, like, he got it. But he wouldn't have got that if I didn't communicate with him and vice versa.

[A]

It's so true. Mokoa and I, even in the beginning of our relationship, like, his first birthday, like, I didn't really know what to do and I kind of just attended things that were happening and then I felt like about it. So the next birthday, I made sure to really be like, what do you want to do this birthday? And I like, went over the top and above and beyond to kind of make up for that. Even, like, our first Valentine's Day, he did a bunch of cute stuff, but he didn't like, like, give it or show it until way late in the day. And so I spent the whole day, like, very like, is he gonna do nothing? And I, like, cried in the bathroom. I'll never forget it. And then, like, he ended up doing it. Everything ended up being fine, but it still. It was like how I imagined my Valentine's Day. But I. I couldn't be mad at him for, like, not reading my mind. And then, like, once I. I ended up telling him, you know, like, I want to wake up to cute things. And like, yeah, I wanna. And like, his love language is very much quality time and mine is very much acts of service, words of affirmation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, I had to kind of whatever. And then he ended up telling me, you're my first valentine that I've ever had. And I didn't even, like, I didn't know, like, how to approach this. And then I was like, oh, my God, I cried all day. And I was like, villainizing him in my head and like, whatever.

[B]

And it just.

[A]

Just like, so real. The communication ended up, like, fixing it so much. Or like, even your man could just be like, wow, I'm really forgetful. I'm really happy to be with you, but maybe, like, I just, like, suck with dates and whatever. Like, this could work better if, like, we put it in the calendar. A month in advance. And we talk about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we schedule it and you tell me the things. So I think a lot of problems that we as people, not. Not just women, just everyone creates is because, like, we get upset at people for not reading our mind. And it's so good to talk at the through. You got this. Happy anniversary. Talk it through. The timer went off. Can you tell? And.

[B]

Yeah. And if he's a good man. Yes.

[A]

And then if he. And then if after those things he disappoints you, call us back and I will have a very different set of advice, you know, because it's one thing if a man knows all these things and just is lazy and chooses not to. You deserve better, you know, but follow.

[B]

Up with us, Queen. We'll follow up with you.

[A]

And we love you.

[B]

Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

[A]

And remember all the reasons you love each other. Like you like this, this, this very well can be work. Not even a problem. Or it is a problem and you deserve better. Love you.

[C]

Hi, Trisha. Hi, Tana. Oh, my God, I love both of you so, so much. Have you ever been with a man that has a problem wetting the bed? And like, specifically when they're drinking, like, he's wetting the bed every time he's drinking hard liquor. And I'm waking up in this man's pit. Like, the first time it happened, I remember I woke up and I, like, was patting myself and I was like, did I piss the bed? And then I went over, I grabbed like, his. And I was like, oh, my God. He picks the bed and he always cleans it up. And he's like, really sorry about it. But the next weekend he just pisses the bed again. So I'm wondering, like, how do we. How do we get to the root of the problem? Have you guys ever encountered this? Okay. Thank you, guys. I love you.

[A]

Wow. I have a lot to say here.

[B]

I have nothing to say sorry to this man. We're moving on.

[A]

See, and here's what I'm gonna say. I really, really. Because, so I. Oh, my God, I hope she doesn't kill me for this. I don't think she will. She's talked about it. One of my best friends was dating one of my best friends, and she's in this relationship. They're together. I love. I. I love them both as individuals. They ended up not being together. They're very funny about being exes. We're actually all still great friends to this day. Okay. Oh, my God. And please don't kill me. I Won't say their names. You people. I love you both. You.

[B]

You.

[A]

I don't think the girl has a problem. The guy might hate this. I love you.

[B]

Anyway.

[A]

Anyways, when he got drunk, he would sleepwalk and he would piss. But there was this one time that I remember he fell asleep drunk. He got up to sleepwalk to piss and check this one out. And instead of it being the toilet, he went over in his sleep, full sleepwalk, opened up her makeup drawer and pissed in his sleep blackout drunk all over her entire. All of her makeup products. All of her makeup products. And like, the Armageddon that. It was the most entertaining the world in my house for me. Because this wasn't like me, like, and we're all very close, so it was like very, very funny. He ended up buying her new makeup products and, like, everything ended up being fine and whatever. But she did. She caused how. She was like, if you ever do this again, I'm gonna ruin your life. Figure it out. And I do. It's like, if you. If he has that problem, drink less. A, maybe if you have that problem, B. If you know you do that, then you better buy. Buy a futon on Wayfair that goes out in the. In the garage. And when you are gonna drink, you're sleeping on that futon because what the.

[B]

That's good. A tarp maybe. Yes. Like, yes.

[A]

Sleep on a tarp in the lawn. I don't give a. You're not gonna sleep next. Especially because it's. It's one thing if it's a medical thing. Right. You know what I mean? Like, it is another if you're getting blacked out and doing for sure that like. And if you wear your dependent. Depends then if you can't control.

[B]

Adult diapers are great.

[A]

I don't think that necessarily, if he's a great guy other than this, you have to break up with him. But I. It also does depend if there's a brand new relationship that's kind of like a red flag. You know what I mean? But, like, if you've been together for a while and you love him and he's great. Other than that, I do think the problem has to be alleviated immediately.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And people can't just get blacked out and piss everywhere.

[B]

No, they cannot.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, unless it's like a medical problem. But if he's getting blacked out, that. That's just. You stop right away. Like, just stop that drinking or.

[A]

Yeah, drink a little less or tarp or futon or lawn or something. Or get me a new mattress or.

[B]

Do not pee on me.

[A]

Be really sorry. Like, just. And I would say that I give you full permission as a crazy to crack the whip like, you crack that whip, girl. Like, that is not. You deserve. You deserve better. And I'm sure he knows that if he's apologetic. Just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can't be pissy pants McGee when. When you're blacked out like that. Yeah.

[B]

It is disgusting fasting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So do it. I think.

[A]

I think you.

[B]

You.

[A]

You get creative if you have to, but I would.

[B]

I don't. I maybe divorce. I'd be like, I have to divorce you.

[A]

No, but you so wouldn't.

[B]

Don't. If he's peeing in the bed just because he was drinking and couldn't stop drinking, I'd be like, done. I can't. Like, I cannot.

[A]

Yeah, that is true. I'm assuming they're, like, younger maybe. Like, they. Like, this sounds like a very. Because we were, like, 21, 22 when this was happening, too. So I'm, like, trying to, like, just benefit of the doubt, assume that this.

[B]

They're not, like, in their 40s with kids.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, that's divorce. That's, like, divorce, babes. Yeah, Divorce.

[B]

Oh, you were giving the mom from Parent Trap the wedding design.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

You also look like her right now with the glasses on her head.

[A]

What was her name?

[C]

Her.

[B]

She's married to Liam Neeson. I know, but what's her name on the. I know. It's so sad. Natasha Richardson. Was that she. She loved her. I know.

[C]

She was so accident. Until Pamela Anderson.

[A]

Oh, he was with her.

[C]

Heartbroken.

[B]

Yeah. In the movie Love, actually, he plays someone who, like, lost his wife. And it's, like, so sad. It's, like, awful.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he has a little boy, a little son in the movie. You ever seen Love, actually?

[A]

God, no. But now I need to. I'm newly obsessed with Liam Nissan. Liam Neeson. Pamela Anderson, like, did that same.

[B]

I saw the Naked Movie. Like, he's so funny. I never seen him in anything else. And I was like, well, I saw him Love, actually. But I haven't seen him in, like, Taken or any of those movies.

[A]

I loved Naked Gun.

[B]

You saw the new one?

[A]

Yeah, I did, too.

[B]

I thought it was so good. I thought, like, that was so good.

[A]

I just love Pamela so.

[B]

God, she is, like, a good actress. Like, she is funny and she's good. She's great in that show Girl where she's dramatic. She's great in the Naked Gun where she's comedic. Like, she really is a good actress. Yes.

[A]

And I love that she's just getting to show her range. We love Pamela always, like, forever down to everything. She's just perfect.

[B]

Pam was an icon in her hot, sexy Baywatch days, and she's, like, an iconic now, just being, like, aging gracefully.

[A]

Do you know that I've never seen Baywatch? I just watched it.

[B]

The show?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I don't know if I have either, honestly.

[A]

I was always obsessed with just the lore of it. And then, weirdly, in Hawaii, along with Elvis, I hung a Pamela Baywatch photo, and I need to show you. It's really cute. It's huge, like, blown up, and it's in my bathroom, and it's so cute. But it was playing on cable, and, like, she's so cute in the show. Like, I want to watch the whole show.

[B]

Young and gorge.

[A]

She had chickenpox in the episode I was watching, and I was like, this is everything.

[B]

I remember, like, the story lines being kind of crazy. Like, they were always, like, saving people and, like, obviously they're lifeguards, but, like, there was always just something crazy happening. I think there was a Baywatch Hawaii. Did you ever watch that one?

[A]

I'm on it. It's like, now I'm watching baywatch.

[B]

He's, like, 20 years old.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. He has no facial hair, no long hair. Like, he's very young on it, and I think that's how he got his start. I think he might be, like, 19 even. He was really young.

[A]

Do I run back Baywatch? Is that what Moko and I should do? And he's Jason Momoa in Baywatch, and I did it with Harry Jowsey. But, like, so what?

[B]

Yeah, but you can be the new episod, updated version, the Hawaiian version. Watch the Hawaii one and find a girl on that one and be the Hawaiian version. Because Baywatch, Hawaii is so good. Like, when I was obsessed with Jason Mo, I watched, and I was like, it's so good. I mean, all the. All of them are great, but that's a good one.

[A]

That's actually, like, kind of genius. I didn't know Jason Momoa was in Baywatch. I have to see if that's, like, a possibility for McCo and I.

[B]

That'd be so cute because I'm still.

[A]

Trying to figure out a great Bay watch.

[B]

I mean, so would you, of course.

[A]

Oh, you're so truly, like, who I was when I did Baywatch with Harry Dowsey. I was just like. Like, disgusting. Like, I just. I was drinking. I was so puffy. Like we were on the beach. I remember I like cut my vagina shaving and Alexis Oakley was helping me like literally glam my on the beach with Harry Jowsey. I had like my out doing fans. It was just like I was. I was a mess in a dress.

[B]

I do like your healing era now. Yeah.

[A]

Because now it's so much more actually accurate to my life. Like at the time it was like I hadn't seen the beach or water in years.

[B]

Right? Yeah. You guys are like water beings. Yeah.

[A]

So like that's. Oh, that's cute.

[B]

Yeah, Add that to the list. Things are doing. Yay.

[A]

Okay, our last call of the call episode.

[C]

Hi, Trish. Hi, Tana. Love you girly. So much. I just wanted to know your takes on entering a new life era. Like wanting to grow, choosing peace, but having a hard time maybe because of your job. I work in healthcare, so I'm extremely mentally drained and I've actually developed PTSD because of some of the things that have happened to me. I know it's taking a toll on my husband because I'm so negative and socially drained by the time I see him at the end of the day, he's so supportive. He's very much like Makoa. He grounds me and is very carefree. But just wondering if you girlies have any advice. Advice? Side note, Trisha, knowing you got out of a small town in Illinois and made it to the big city gives me hope that I can too. Thanks. Love you both.

[B]

Oh, I love her.

[A]

What a sweet call. We have no time limit. This is the last call. What a sweet call.

[B]

Yeah, a lot of sweetness all around. Like, first of all, doing healthcare is like the most like most needed job, but also the most thankless. Thankless job. The most like, intricate job. Like you're literally taking care of other people and they're like times of crisis. Like it's like the most needed and prob. Like the most like, thankless. So what you're doing is like. Or selfless. I should say so. That's so sweet.

[A]

Yeah. And just like again, we keep having this where girls will call about how they're like feeling bad about themselves or being negative or whatever. And then they'll call and just share positivity that they might not even have to us. So it's so sweet and it just shows that you have that in you.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like that that's what your soul is. That you're just giving a lot of your soul to something else that's not your relationship. But I think you even like making this call. Like, you. You want more for your relationship. You know, you're with a good guy, and it is just about prioritizing that in a way that works with your schedule. You know, like, maybe at the end of the day, you're coming home and you guys are doing something, you're watching your favorite show together, his favorite show, or you get into something that he's interested in. It's just. It is about a little more effort. And I know how that is when you have nothing left to give. But then maybe it's also about sending. Sending like a cute text or leaving him a cute breakfast before you, like, go off. Like, there are so many little things you can do, just little, little, little things to like, show that and appreciate that maybe, like, you use a day off that you have to, like, do something that's like, for him, but you end up having a lot of fun doing it. I also will say, like, I don't know, maybe this is bad advice, but, like, you've already done. You've done so much saving and so much whatever. Like, what if there is another job or path out there?

[B]

Oh, I was thinking that. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

For another part of your life. Life.

[B]

Like, if it's really taking a toll, like, you're just like, I'm drained and I've seen so much. Yeah, right. That part makes. Leads me to believe that maybe, like, a career switch is not easy to do. And maybe, like, financially you can't yet, but, like, really look into that because that can be, like, poisoning you. Right. It's just like, you can't take it. And then your husband's trying his best, but, like, you know, let's say even if he, like, was not there, it's like, it's still taking a toll on you. And it's like you really maybe should look into something similar, but that not as draining, maybe.

[A]

And we convince ourselves always, too, that when you work so hard for something that you once wanted so bad that you need to do that forever because, like, oh, this version of me wanted it so badly. But sometimes things run its course and it served you for that period of time, and you got to help so many people, but you would never want to look back one day and be like, wow, I lost so much life and so much of who I am and maybe my relationship or all these things because I was giving everything of me to this thing that I had already served my amount of time in, you know, so I'm like, you said, it might not be right. Now or financially. But maybe you are making a dream board with your husband and you're looking at what the next five to ten years look like. And maybe that is you with a little more free time and a little more patience and love to give and all those things.

[B]

And if he is like supportive like you said he said it was like a makoa. And like, I think like that was me like a few years ago and I was having like money troubles, right. Like, I couldn't figure out where my career was going and I wasn't, I was owing so much money to like the government and I was just like, I'm not making money. Like, what do I do? And it was like sitting down, like, this isn't going to be forever. So I sat down, like with Moses, right? Because he was like always supportive. And interviews, like, you know, we'll always figure it out and. But like making a five year plan, like, okay, what does this look like? Okay, I'm gonna try this and this, like, trying to make, show that like you're trying to do a change even it can't be an immediate. Like, okay, I'm thinking about this or I'm gonna save money this way. I'm not gonna do this like in a different way. Just trying to find a way out of this like negativity for you and him. You know, it's like, it's, it's a, it's a good first step. But you have very sweet, you have really good intentions. Your husband seems very supportive. So it really sounds like you, they want to just make a change for you. And I guess the flip side of that is if you have to stay in this profession for like a year or two years or however long it is, is like, yeah, I've always heard people who work in like funeral homes will come home and like watch comedies, like to get them like just out of that mindset, just watch like something like that everyone finds universally funny, like the office or I don't know what people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But something like that. Yeah.

[A]

And just try. Yeah. Even if like on your lunch break you write him a cute letter or a card or note or draw a little picture and bring it home. Like literally just little, little teeny things that you can do to just kind of, you know. I never want to like push like, or anything on anyone, but maybe you guys find something like that. Like you smoke, you get home and suddenly you're like, you know what? Like, I don't want to push that. But like, yeah, I'm just saying. Or like you eat a really yummy, like, order something to come home or.

[B]

Oh, that's my solution for sure.

[A]

Like his favorite food and you guys eat it together. Like, I think that we also, when we get too far in the hole of thinking, God, I'm the worst partner, I'm the worst this, or whatever, whatever. We think that little things won't, like, add up, but they can. And if that's all you can do right now is just little things where you can like. Like a sticky note on the mirror so that when he gets up to brush his teeth, he's like, I love you, babe. You know what I mean? Or like, take a nude and then just pop a titty in the bathroom at work and send it over to him.

[B]

The favorite meal one was. Okay, so I was thinking about. Zaya's talking about Moses birthday's coming up. Like, oh, I was gonna get. He told me sushi. He wants to sushi. And I was like, what if it's sushi on me? Because you were just saying the nakedness and the food. And I was like, honestly, yeah, we should do that.

[A]

That Sex in the City Samantha does that. Saman that does that in an episode. But whatever.

[B]

I need to find someone to help me with that. I'm like, who's going to put sushi?

[C]

Trisha.

[A]

The way I will help you the way I will get the sushi. I'll put it all over you and leave the house. I got you, girl. Like, that sounds so fun. I've always wanted to see someone.

[B]

Like, it's like the Thea Von situation. Just Hannah's there too. It's like a little dinner date. Like. But I want to be a part of this. I would love it actually. That'd be everything. Just taking pictures, taking content.

[A]

Oh, my God, you should do that.

[B]

Yeah. Anyways, maybe she should do that. Maybe he likes to sushi. Or if you like spaghetti or something, put it all over you. Yeah.

[A]

Or just even like, oh, my God, I'll do like just the dumbest things. Like if, you know, he loves like red lace underwear, like a colored. Wear that and show him at the.

[B]

End of the day.

[A]

Like, literally just the littlest of things. Men are so easily amused.

[B]

They are. They really are. A little effort goes a long way with a man. Women take a lot more effort. Men, a little effort goes along.

[A]

Yes, truly. Like, and it's just do what you can. Don't be necessarily feel married to something that you once wanted and succeeded in and whatever. If now it's not serving you and we just, we believe in you, girl. And you sounds like you got a good one. And you even wanting to keep him just shows where your head's at. You got this.

[B]

We love you.

[A]

Thank you for everything that you do to make people feel better. You are an amazing woman and yeah.

[B]

That'S amazing working healthcare. And thank you guys for all the phone calls. It was fun to take so many of this time.

[A]

How many did we take? Yeah, we took eight calls.

[B]

That's got to be a record.

[A]

Yeah, that's got Devin phenomenal. That was all your ideas. Like the executive executives.

[B]

More executives did it. Yes. Yes. If you guys want to see more, go to patreon.com not loveline. We post bonus episodes every Friday. We will see you there.

[A]

And we actually do take a lot of calls over there.

[B]

That one's fun. Yeah, we love you spicy. Bye, guys.