I REGRET EXPOSING MY HUSBAND + PLASTIC SURGERY RISKS! | NOT LOVELINE Ep 74

Summary

Not Loveline – Episode 74 "I REGRET EXPOSING MY HUSBAND + PLASTIC SURGERY RISKS!" Release Date: June 22, 2026 Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trisha Paytas

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EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode of Not Loveline dives into a cozy, confessional, and candid conversation between Tana and Trisha, with listener call-ins about love, relationships, body image, and dealing with Internet scrutiny. They reflect on relationships, food nostalgia, plastic surgery, celebrity pressures, and voyeuristic social media culture. As always, their real-life experience (not “expertise”) steers both their advice and the fun, intimate tone of the show.

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KEY DISCUSSION POINTS & INSIGHTS

1. Comfort Food, Fried Food, and GLP-1s (00:30–05:30)

• Tana and Trisha bond over feeling cozy and tired after eating Cheesecake Factory and reminiscing about nostalgic childhood foods.
• Tana discusses her reliance on rotisserie chicken (not the grocery store kind, but California Chicken Cafe), riffing, “I should be a spokesperson for rotisserie chicken” (01:56, Tana).
• Conversation shifts to using GLP-1s (weight-loss medications) to help regulate cravings: “That’s why I use GLP-1s…to make me order the rotisserie chicken” (01:41, Tana).
• Both discuss comfort eating, the impact of fried food on energy, and a genuine attempt to balance nostalgia and health.

2. Going Live Online: Regrets and Realness (05:31–08:58)

• Tana opens up about anxiety after going live while blacked out: “I was live drunk, and then I just woke up on live. I’ve never had more anxiety in my life” (00:07, 06:20, Tana).
• Trisha touches on the permanence and risks of livestreaming, with stories about Aaron Carter and the dangers of unfiltered live content online.
• Discussion about the motives for going live—community connection versus receiving gifts (“I don’t even want people to gift me…I just like being live,” 04:37, Tana).
• Tana reflects on returning to live content in a “brand safe” way after previously banning herself from it.

3. Influencer Products, Makeup, and Authenticity (08:10–10:51)

• Tana distinguishes between “cash grabbing” products and genuinely loving what you promote: “I just don’t need to be cash grabbing juice…I’d release a product or an IP, but just not beverages” (08:03, Tana).
• Both reminisce about Tana’s old makeup series (“How to Cake Your Face Like a Pro”) and the appeal of makeup content for “type B girlies.”
• They value hacks and relatability over being a “pro”—“I like to be there for the type B girlies and be like, this is how I do my makeup in the fastest way” (09:16, Tana).

4. Hair, Hats, and Plastic Surgery Risks (10:00–16:18)

• Laughter over men refusing to remove hats even in intimate moments leads to a broader discussion about insecurity and hair transplants.
• Tana frames hair transplants as analogous to plastic surgery, celebrating men embracing their vanity.
• Both discuss international plastic surgery tourism (e.g., Turkey, Colombia) and the associated risks: “There’s so much more room for if something goes wrong…you’re so far from home” (11:39, Tana).
• Trisha shares her plastic surgery regret, especially about nipple reconstruction: “Now I have no sensation. They’re wonky. They don’t work. Like, I couldn’t breastfeed. Like, it actually ruined my life and my baby’s life” (15:39, Trisha).
• Consensus: If an insecurity “plagues you” for over a year and genuinely affects you, surgery may be justified—but the risks are real and self-acceptance is crucial.

5. The Media, Celebrity Scrutiny & Double Standards (18:21–22:45)

• Discussion on the hypocrisy of how celebrity scandals (e.g., Vanessa Hudgens’ nude leak) are handled, especially for women versus men.
• They reflect on the early 2000s tabloid culture and damaging, invasive media: “All those interviewers were looked at as so esteemed, but you were just, like, bubbly” (16:43, Tana).
• Tana draws parallels between media treatment of Michael Jackson and Justin Bieber.

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MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS

• “Your truth is your truth. You don’t have to do that on social media.” (24:01, Tana, on exposing one’s reconciliation story online)
• “If someone is mean to you, they don’t love you. 100 everything.” (36:05, Tana, on red flags in relationships)
• “What people don’t know, they can’t judge you on.” (27:08, Trisha, on privacy)
• “There is someone out there who will act like you hung the moon, whether you did or didn’t.” (40:36, Tana, on finding a loving partner)

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LISTENER CALLS & ADVICE SEGMENTS

1) Regretting Publicly Exposing a Husband & Facing Criticism (22:56–29:39)

• Caller asks how to handle the consequences of publicly posting about her husband’s relapse and subsequent reconciliation after he entered rehab.
• Advice: Both hosts stress you’re never obligated to share updates online; privacy is powerful. Sharing opens you to judgment–if you’re not ready for that, don’t. Your real-life relationships matter more than online opinions.

2) Parents Warn About Mean Boyfriend (32:49–41:55)

• Caller’s parents think her boyfriend is mean and gaslights her; they give an ultimatum about supporting her moving out.
• Advice: Red flags shouldn’t be ignored—especially if you’ve “heard that before.” Lean on those who love you, and don’t rationalize poor treatment. “Dump him”—no one who loves you should be mean, especially in front of others.

3) Throuple and Loss (43:37–48:10)

• Caller in a throuple with a married couple asks how to move on with grace as she prepares to move away.
• Advice: Treat this heartbreak like any other; allow yourself to grieve, but also have the hard conversation. If a future is possible, discuss it. Otherwise, cherish what you had, and know that longing is human, but the rest of your life awaits.

4) Relationship Gone Boring (51:51–66:58)

• After six years with her boyfriend, a listener finds things “boring” and needs advice on raising it without hurting his feelings.
• Advice: Don’t focus on calling him “boring”—initiate new activities and experiences to revive the spark. Communication is key; if he’s sensitive, couch things gently (“I never want us to get to that place”) and let action lead.

5) Feeling Young & Out of Place with Boyfriend’s Older Siblings (67:18–73:46)

• Listener, mid-20s, struggles to relate to new boyfriend’s siblings who are nearly 40.
• Advice: There may never be total relatability, but “lean in”—ask questions, engage with their interests, and bond over learning from each other. Common ground might surprise you.

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NOTABLE TOPICS: PLASTIC SURGERY & BODY IMAGE

• Reflection on surgery risks, the societal pressure for women to look a certain way, and regrets about altering one’s body (see detailed regrets about breast/nipple surgery at 15:39).
• Tana’s philosophy: “If it’s plagued you for over a year…then, it’s okay” but avoid doing it impulsively or due to fleeting trends.

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FAVORITE LIGHTER MOMENTS

• The infamous “Costco card as fake ID” (02:22, Tana)
• Discussion about couples’ quirks: men refusing to remove hats, Tana’s ex clinging to hats during sex (10:00–10:14)
• Nail salon stories, learning how Vietnamese nail techs came to dominate the industry (48:10–50:36)
• Tangents about odd online purchases (“I just ordered a fake jellycat. I’m done.” 60:27, Tana)

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STRUCTURED EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS WITH TIMESTAMPS

| Segment | Timestamp | Key Notes | |--------------------------------------|--------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | Food, Comfort, & GLP-1s | 00:30–05:30 | Eating habits, nostalgia, pharmaceutical aids | | Livestream Risks & Anxiety | 05:31–08:58 | Going live while drunk, social media boundaries | | Makeup Series & Influencer Products | 08:10–10:51 | Authenticity, influencer launches, audience connection | | Hair Loss, Plastic Surgery | 10:00–16:18 | Plastic surgery, male vanity, surgery tourism, regrets | | The Media & Double Standards | 18:21–22:45 | Celebrity privacy, judgment, the impact of press | | Advice: Exposing Husband Online | 22:56–29:39 | Privacy, vindication, living for self vs. internet | | Advice: Mean Boyfriend, Parents' Input| 32:49–41:55 | Red flags, the importance of kindness in relationships | | Advice: Throuple Heartbreak | 43:37–48:10 | Love, longing, moving on, “yearning” as theme | | Advice: Relationship Boredom | 51:51–66:58 | Reviving romance, action > accusation, direct communication| | Advice: Age Gap with Siblings | 67:18–73:46 | Relating to older in-laws, finding connection |

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LANGUAGE, TONE & ATMOSPHERE

As always, Tana and Trisha mix candid confessions with playful banter, swearing, self-deprecation, and bursts of encouragement. They tackle deeply personal and sometimes humorous anecdotes without self-censorship, keeping the show grounded and accessible for their fanbase.

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FOR NEW LISTENERS

This episode is an ideal showcase of Not Loveline’s signature: advice from a place of hard-won personal experience, humor, honesty, and tremendous empathy. No pretense—just two friends unpacking life’s messiest questions over Dr. Pepper and rotisserie chicken.

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Want more? Submit your questions or dilemmas for future episodes, where nothing is too juicy (or trivial) for Tana and Trisha’s advice couch.

Transcript

[Trisha Paytas]

You woke up.

[Tana Mongeau]

Did you go out?

[Trisha Paytas]

You pass in like, or.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I was so blacked out, and then I just fell asleep and you

[Trisha Paytas]

hit live during your.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, like, I was live drunk, and then I just woke up on live. I've never had more anxiety in my life.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is that the clip where you're like, coming up?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, that was my teeth.

[Trisha Paytas]

Welcome back to Not Love Line. Love it. You guys, we're back.

[Tana Mongeau]

We're back, and we're comf. And we're cozy. We just ate Cheesecake factory. We ordered Dr. Pepper.

[Trisha Paytas]

Crispy Dr. Pepper.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're my favorite person to be so tired with.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, we're both sleepy girls.

[Tana Mongeau]

We are sleepy girls today. We've both been doing so many things, but I think that there's something special in that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

That you can just be tired.

[Trisha Paytas]

Sleepy back problems. Eating all the fried food. We're always like, the fried food makes us tired, and then we eat it. It's so weird. But I'm the same way, too. I used to always eat, like, chicken fingers French fries all the time. It's like, I really don't eat that unless I'm like with you. But I do love it. There's, like, a comfort to it because it's like my childh. So it's like nostalgia, but it does feel. I think you were saying, because, like, I'm so tired. He's like, well, because you had all the fried food. And it is so true. It's like, I will not eat it all day.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then I'll get home and I'll be like, baby, have you eaten? And I'm like, I had a coffee. He's like, that's not food. And then I'm like, I just ordered Prince street pizza, and then I eat it, and I'm like, I'm so tired. And he's like, duh.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, the mathematics of this or that. You literally were deprived of energy all day from the food, and then it's so heavy that it's, like, knocking you out of my mouth. But it's so good. And that's why I use GLP ones, like, honest to God. To give you.

[Trisha Paytas]

To make you feel full or to make you not want fried food to make.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, to make me order the rotisserie chicken. That gives me protein along with.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you order rotisser chicken from the grocery store? I.

[Caller]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

I order them from California Chicken Cafe.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, yes, those are great.

[Tana Mongeau]

And they're. They're. The grocery store ones are bomb, too. I just. With the California Chicken Cafe 1 is so and similar priced. It's so.

[Trisha Paytas]

You should be a spokesperson for rotisserie chicken.

[Tana Mongeau]

I a lot cuz I really will like when I'm trying to be really healthy. A lot of times I like craving a whole meal and I know that this is a good way to just get protein with no carbs.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you just rip it?

[Tana Mongeau]

I rip it and I dunk it in buffalo sauce.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. Oh yeah. You can make like buffalo chicken wraps.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I'm just. I'm making buffalo in my mouth.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're making the wraps. Have you had the Costco George's?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I'm about to become a Costco member. I need to. I can't believe I haven't been this whole time. I know Ashley is so I like can utilize that but I think I'm A Costco card would have done me no good. I would have been trying to use it as a fake ID drunk like look I swear it's me.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I this is the first time of my life were like it would make sense for me to have a

[Trisha Paytas]

Costco membership in your grown up era. I don't. I don't love Costco. I get overwhelmed. But Moses loves Costco and I love when he goes because they have like huge toilet papers and he sent me something day had like 50 razor blades and there I was like perfect. Cuz I go through razor blades so like I always need a new one. And he's just like I got 50 for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm like oh my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's everything.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like the fact that you can get a swirl ice cream cone and Costco's never raise their prices which is so cool. Like on the food. It's so nostalgic because that's the prices. They were like when we were younger.

[Trisha Paytas]

Post me as soft serve from Costco.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've been craving.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just a proper vanilla chocolate swirl ice cream cone for like days now.

[Trisha Paytas]

Those at Costco.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know that's what I want. I want a Costco one. But I think I'm just going to go to like yogurt land or something.

[Trisha Paytas]

But then it's not. It's not soft serve. It's yogurt.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh I know.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love sa and I haven't had it because like when you're pregnant you can't have saucer cuz you get listerious. Like I was so scared of it. Yeah. So you can't have it at all. And I like that's because of the

[Tana Mongeau]

machine or because the food. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

The Machine like listeria is like a bacteria if they don't clean it properly, which obviously a lot of these like places like McDonald's and stuff like that, they like have young kids so they don't clean it properly. And I can like literally like kill your baby and I'll just eat like

[Tana Mongeau]

soft serve out of a machine. Can you have anything out of a machine?

[Trisha Paytas]

No. I mean like, like you can, right? Like they say you're not supposed to eat like deli meat. I mean obviously people can do whatever people do like crack, they're pregnant. You know what I mean? That's, that's people's argument is like people literally do crack and the babies are fine or like relatively so. I get the argument. But when you're first pregnant you're very like, I can't eat anything. Like, you know, but yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh my God, I can't imagine I have such bad like health anxiety. I would lose it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, you probably eat anything. Cuz that's how I was in the beginning. I was very much like, oh my God, I can't eat that.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, but then the cravings, I also, I feel like I eat like a pregnant person. The other night I was live on Tik Tok eating blue takis on top of pickles.

[Trisha Paytas]

You do live on Tik tok.

[Tana Mongeau]

I&TW people comment and they'll be like, you're literally. You talk so much about him. Sorry, you can bleep it.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's crazy.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love that that's the comparison.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm like, no, I, I.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're not like racing for galaxies on there at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't even want people to gift me like at all. Sometimes I just like being live. And I wasn't for so long. And lately I've been enjoying it, especially with like brand safe and like new things are happening every day that I'm like enjoying.

[Trisha Paytas]

What are you talking about? You're just like answering questions like, and

[Tana Mongeau]

there's something about being live that motivates me to do something I wouldn't like. The other night I like really needed to do my skin care, but I was like, I need to like feel like I'm talking to someone. And so I was like, let me just go live and like talk about everything that's happening.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're by yourself live?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like I would imagine your friends are like, you know, with you like popped in.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, I don't know. I tick tock live. I've and I can't believe I'm saying this Like, I've been enjoying. I still stand on the fact that, like, maybe the pan. I didn't understand the panhandling, like, fully. And, like, maybe age brackets and panhandling. I was having a bit of confusion with, like, I still stand on that, but, like, the actual act of just talking to all the girlies and the gays and stuff and, like, you know, like, that's fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

Your streamer era.

[Tana Mongeau]

I used to love Instagram Live a lot, too.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think Live, I just feel like, is trouble. Like, I just feel like. I agree. Like, I think the last time I went live was, like, with Aaron Carter and just like, it's like, up on YouTube forever, and you're just like, this is such a bad idea. Like, it's. He was always live. He was live, like, 24 hours a day. He really. Maybe there's something to it. I. I guess I don't either because, like, you know, like, kids, they can just say whatever, and you just. I don't know. I just don't need, like, no more. If a kid starts crying in the background, then. You know what I mean? It's just like, a whole thing. So it's very much like, yeah, I

[Tana Mongeau]

banned Live for me for, like, up until right now. Like, this is when I'm go, like, starting to try it out again. Because the last time I went live, I was drinking. I had released dizzy wine. I drank a case of dizzy wine, and I woke up on live.

[Trisha Paytas]

You woke up? Did you go out? You passed in like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or. Like, I was so blacked out and then I just fell asleep Live during your. Yeah, like, I was live drunk, and then I just woke up on live. I've never had more anxiety in my life.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is that the clip where you're, like, coming up your mouth Is.

[Tana Mongeau]

That was my teeth.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, no. I just. There really aren't many clips of that Live and think.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you have it scrubbed?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I didn't, like, go just for some reason. Like, thank God the angels were in

[Trisha Paytas]

my favor because they were, like, intoxicating. Maybe people were like, well, let's not share this. You know, sometimes the Internet has some morality. Yeah. Where they're like, well, she was. You know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. Because four of those dizzy cans would equal an entire bottle of wine. And so I would drink then. They're tiny. They're smaller than this cup. They were tiny, so I would drink four of them.

[Trisha Paytas]

Would you ever come out like a mocktail?

[Tana Mongeau]

Honestly?

[Trisha Paytas]

You don't love mocktails?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, no, I like. I like them now. And again, I've warmed up to them a lot. Like some. The healthy ones and stuff. I won't ever drink like a non alcoholic beer. There are certain ones where I'm like, this is just calories. And I'm like, I still am never gonna get the feeling that I want to get. Like, I understand that you don't love the taste.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you don't miss the taste of it. You just love the buzzness when you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I liked the taste combined with an effect to where the calories felt like they had a purpose versus, like, I'll just have a Dr. Pepper. Like, but like a yummy, juicy mocktail. Yes. But like, I just. Influencer hits a certain, like, mark and they're like. And I did it. I released Dizzy. Like, I'm not like talking, but like. And then they release a beverage and I just like, I'm not passionate. I was passionate about wine at that time. Very.

[Trisha Paytas]

You're not.

[Tana Mongeau]

Arguably way too much. I was passionate. Like, I'm not passionate enough about like nootropics and the things that go in these mocktails.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, but you do love Martinelli's. We talked about that last time. And I was like, oh, I love their little bottles.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just don't need to be cash grabbing juice. I would release a product or an ip, but just not beverages, I think.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you have a product idea?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know. I. Ever since the tarte thing, I really do realize how much I love and know about makeup. And like, I love that for so long I was so unsponsored that I was just so unfiltered about the products that I liked or didn't like. And I. I'll never like, lie about if I like a product or not. So I think it'd be fun to like make makeup. But I also, I don't know if I have the time or bandwidth to like, Yeah, I think have the smock time. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you're in the. A factory, in the lab.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, literally. But it'd be fun. It'd be really cool.

[Trisha Paytas]

What was your series called? Your makeup series? You did have one back in the day.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so cute that you remember.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it was a cake. Your face.

[Tana Mongeau]

How to kick your face like a pro.

[Trisha Paytas]

It could be your little brand.

[Tana Mongeau]

I thought about starting a second Tick Tock, something like that. You know too. Like, I do love. I've always loved.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you do your own makeup, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I mean, don't use today as an example at all. I did this with like One hand while I was ordering you a Balenciaga bag to pick up.

[Trisha Paytas]

But, like, it's so good, though. It's actually so good.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love a full glam. Like, when I really sit and do the whole eye and the lash and the good skin and all those things.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was it our. The brand safe episode we did? I think you had a full glam. Did you do that one?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, I did. Like, that was fun. I love. And, like, obviously, like, the true pros are, like, better like a Jaclyn Hill's gonna mog me every time when it comes to it. But I also, like, I like to be there for the type B girlies and be like, this is how I do my makeup in, like, the fastest way.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel like. Yeah, like, it's like almost like a hack system, you know? Like, how to do that is like a series too. Like, how to do makeup for beginners.

[Caller]

What do you do?

[Trisha Paytas]

How to cake face. Like, take your face like a pro.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Which was kind of ironic because obviously I was not a pro.

[Caller]

But.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I love a cake face. Like, I like that term. I like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Me too. Because I think that it was. It was one of those things that men wanted to take her swimming on the first date. Cake face.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I just, like, take your baseball cap off on the first date. Like, so stupid.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God. I used to hook up with this guy who would, like, wear a hat

[Trisha Paytas]

all the time while you're hooking up. I didn't. Guys are. Guys get really.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're butt naked and wearing a hat. Like, that's like, what are we doing? Like, I know. I know why you're wearing the hat. Like, that's acceptable.

[Trisha Paytas]

Was it Kenny Chesney?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, it was not Kenny Chesney, but I'll comb my fingers through your bald spots.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know, guys. I mean, look, you shouldn't be insecure about your hair, but everyone's getting hair transplants. Who do I just see get a hair transplant transfer? Like, someone I would never expect. Was it Zayn or Mike Malak?

[Tana Mongeau]

Got one a while ago.

[Trisha Paytas]

There was someone recent. God, there was somebody.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do get it, though. Like, I. I definitely. I'm here for the. The trans. The hair transplant guys. Like, you know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, yeah, no, I am too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, good for you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. Like, you know, they better never make fun of anyone. Mike Maylak for coming for Ava Louise. It's like calling her a little, like, rat or whatever.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so true.

[Trisha Paytas]

You got a hair transplant.

[Tana Mongeau]

So, yes, I definitely think a hair transplant implant is the same as plastic surgery.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So that's what I was kind of trying to say is that I like seeing the guys become little divas and get a little.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, same, same. They're all flying over to Turkey together doing it. I kind of love it. I want to go to Turkey to get something done. It kind of sounds fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

Beautiful there.

[Trisha Paytas]

You bet.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Not for plastic surgery. I. But like I get so scared about. Because I. So many people I know they fly out of the country wherever it may be to get plastic surgery and I see why. Like, like there are probably better surgeons all around the world and like, you know what I mean? A lot of people do it because it's cheaper and like health care and like whatever. But then I've seen so many horror stories.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like I think not getting plastic surgery in the place that you, in the country that you reside in, like just there's so much more room for if something goes wrong. Like you're so far from home, you're far from your people, like you have to fly. Like did have you ever seen those tick tocks of like all the girls that would fly back and forth from Mexico or like Miami even or whatever and it'd be the line of all the BBL girls in wheelchairs to get on the plane.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like Colombia is a big one for that because they can take out like 50 of your fat as well. I mean 50s, like exaggerating like here is only like a certain amount you can do like a 4% of your can be suctioned out. But in like Colombia they can like suction like everything out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, but then that's scary because like obviously there's a reason why.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I think, I think the US is just super conservative and so yeah, if you go to like Tijuana or like Columbia there, I mean those girls look snatched. Like, I mean when I look at like Colombian bodies and stuff or people went to Columbia to get the work done. They look amazing. Like would love. Yes. I'm scared anyways. Just all the time to get surgery,

[Tana Mongeau]

surgery in general is just very, very, very scary.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's as you value your life more and more, you realize the risk that you're running for something like vain, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think I was doing surgeries. I was like whatever. If they go out this way at least I peaceful like at least you're like out or something like that. But now it's like, no, I need to wake up. Like I have to wake up. Like that's not an option. So it does Pig you a little.

[Tana Mongeau]

I, like, want, like, my smile lines are my biggest insecurity. I hate having them. It's in every. Like, even now, as I'm in my lesser Facetune era, like, I will. Maybe there are photos where I'll do nothing other than still just, like, a little smooth right here.

[Trisha Paytas]

I hate why that means you're smiling and happy. You can see your face. People said about Cindy Sweeney with the acting, right. Did you see that clip of the one girl who had the Botox and Cindy Sweeney had none in the same scene before. It was like the wedding. And she's like. She was. It was our kids. Like, the girl with the Botox, like, that was our kids is fun, and she's, like, really upset. And then some of these means, like, what's that my fault? She had, like, all these, like, wrinkles, and it's like, you could see expression. And I think people were just, like, so, like, missing that because, like, those lines mean something. They say a story. It means you're happy. You see your face. If you're just, like, filled, you're just gonna look filled. And, I don't know, it just. You want to get them filled because also, filled can make you look.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's the problem is that the only way to genuinely actually rid of them is to get a facelift. No, I won't. I won't. I know I won't. I know I can't. I'm 27 and, like, it's just dumb and, like, I know that. But obviously my belief on plastic surgery, just, like, point blank, period. The only way that I believe in it is if you have an insecurity that is extremely plaguing you for, like, let's say, more than a year, more than two years. And it genuinely affects your quality of life. Every photo of you, it's the thing that you're thinking about, like, that was my nose for me, where it's like, if you get to a point and this is my belief, but just that then, like, you live one life and you can fix it. I don't think that getting them, like, lattes is a vibe. Like, you know what I mean? But, like, if this was any other thing where I, like, if it was like, my boobs or something, and I could just. It's been years of it plaguing me, and I could just go get the, like, normal, easy surgery I would have by now. But I can't be 27 with a face facelift.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, that would be.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, Kylie Jenner has one, though.

[Trisha Paytas]

Does she?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

She's good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I mean, people do look good.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is it worth it? But I won't. That doesn't mean that I shouldn't be. I'm not Kylie Jenner.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's giving. In the Michael movie, when they show him get his nose. Nose done for the first time, it's, like, so sad because, like, obviously his dad, like, in the movie and obviously in real life, too, would, like, just calm big nose and say how big his nose was. And so when he finally gets it done and his dad, like, calls him and he, like, takes off his sunglasses looking just like. Like, bruised, and you're just like, ah, Your face was so perfect. Like, you were such a gorgeous person. Like, would he have had those insecurities if it wasn't for, like, his dad and saying, yeah, big nose, you know, it's like. And everyone, like, thought he looked so good. It just made me so sad. It's like, you know, the way people get it. And I agree with you. Like, if it really plagues you. Mine were my boobs. They had very uneven boobs. One was like a beat cup. One was like an aka, a DNA was like, mine. So I had to get them done. Like, they just were, like. It was insane. But I regret getting, like, my nipples done because they were like. They were huge. But. But that should be okay. And I feel like you guys are made to feel so insecure about it because now I have no sensation. They're wonky. They don't work. Like, I couldn't breastfeed. Like, it was. It actually, like, ruined my life and my baby's life. And I was just like, this sucks. Like, I just kept the big nipples. You know what I mean? Like, it's just.

[Tana Mongeau]

You run a lot of risks.

[Trisha Paytas]

No. Yeah. And I'm just. I'm actually so pissed about it. And, like, for what? Like, someone would find them attractive or not care or, like, whatever. That's my body. And I was like, damn. I'm so. I don't regret the first boob job. Although, kind of, because implants can actually kill you. And I'm trying to get mine out, but, like. Like, it made me feel good at the time. But honestly, now I'd rather have, like, no boobs than what I have now. Just a little.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're right. And like, that. That is, like, my final consensus on the smile lines is it's just like, we're owning them and we're doing our best to love ourselves.

[Trisha Paytas]

Good on you. Like, I couldn't even imagine you with, like, Them pulled back like, don't look crazy. I was gonna say, you know what? And people gave Michael Jackson for looking like. I saw. I see so many interviews with, like, Oprah and stuff and, like, all these people that were awful to him. Barbara Walters being like, but do you look the way you look? Of course paparazzi are gonna follow you and, like, act like. His face was so weird. And I was like, honestly, that's so mean. Yeah. And also, that's his face. Like, you know what I mean? Maybe he was happy, maybe he wasn't. Maybe he went too far.

[Tana Mongeau]

But, like, saying that it's so 2000s interviews were the craziest in the world, obviously. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, all of them. And, like, it's so wild how all of those interviewers were looked at as so esteemed, but it's like you were just, like, bubbly.

[Trisha Paytas]

We love you. Seeking. Thank you for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. Summer is here. The summer of a music baby. I'm excited to go see Ariana Grande, Tana and Trish. I want to take Tana to Donny Osm. I want to go to so many events. In fact, I think I might even want to go to a baseball game. Take me out of the ball game. That sounds so fun.

[Tana Mongeau]

Noah Khan is performing all of his things at baseball fields. I'm gonna be at Every baseball field is crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, stadiums.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. That's insane.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna follow the tour bus around and get my tickets on SeatGeek.

[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

Sea geek has your back. Each chick is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know you're getting a deal. So look for the green dot. Screen means good, red means bad. Plus every ticket is backed by their buying guarantee. They have great customer service. You can also search by section. Best deal, best seats you can search day of you can sell tickets on there. Seeking has you covered for whatever your ticket needs are.

[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thank you, seatgeek, for sponsoring today's episode.

[Tana Mongeau]

And yes, and like, to women especially too, like, blaming them for anything that was happening to them. Even, like, I was doing a deep dive the other day on like, Vanessa Hudgens career and like, the fact that like, someone. And she was like the very first of my generation where. And it was. It almost started a. A conversation of like, oh, my nudes can get leaked. Like, I can take a private photo for someone and then they can get leaked. And like, that's. It was the. It was eye opening to my generation that that was like a real thing. And like, smartphones had just started happening and stuff. But obviously someone went in her phone at the peak of her High School Musical moment and like, like, robbed her and like, took these photos and put them out. And then she, you know that like, she. She apologized. Interviewers, like, chastised her. She had to, like, she obviously staged paparazzi shots of her, like, leaving churches and like, just to keep her, like, Disney career. And it's like she was so robbed

[Trisha Paytas]

of like, yeah, like, someone took her personal photo and like, everyone is nude. Everyone has sex, Everyone takes pictures. Like, yeah, was she underage at the time too? Which is like, I feel like double bad for whoever did it, whoever took it. I was like, how are you getting jazz size? This is a child.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that whole Disney juxtaposition was so interesting. I can't imagine the mind that it was for every single last one of them. Because it's like, in reality, like, as you're turning 16 and 17 and 18 and 19, the ages of these Disney stars, you are hooking up with people and you are figuring out your sexuality and you are like, those are like normal things that are happening. You know what I mean? And like, and it was such a double standard to the women too. And like, the Jonas Brothers had those purity rings and like, that purity rings.

[Trisha Paytas]

Joe Bros. Like, that's so crazy to me. It's like, what do you mean? Like, and no one said anything about it after they just had them off all of a sudden. And Joe Jones is with every single person. I'm like, lies, liars, all of them. Because they started out like we're saying.

[Tana Mongeau]

I just said that society was like the Golden Boys, even though they were dating the Mileys. And The Demis who were getting, like, absolutely ripped to shreds for, like, doing those same things. And, like, that juxtaposition of being like, I'm on this kids network and I play this kid, but, like, I'm a young. Like, I are transforming into a young adult normally, but I'm not allowed to act like I am.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I have to apologize for, like, real ad things that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Someone took your photo and. Or violated you and stole it from your phone. Like, that's so insane. No, it. The Christian angler has that with the lines, like, and double standard. The guy gets all the glory the more he could score while the girl can do the same. And yet you call her a. Yes. Like, she knows it. Christina knew it straight up, which is so true. I hate it. I hate the media for that reason. Especially early 2000s media. And I feel like they. It's trauma for life. Like, Britney, even now, I feel like she probably has so much trauma from, like, paparazzi and people calling her and just like, being the worst.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, even at that time, the way, like, any of those girls would gain, like, one pound and then it would be like, I'm like, I do.

[Trisha Paytas]

She got, like a fat thing. I'm like, tiniest girl ever.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I also can't imagine the grocery store of it all because now, like, our media is on our phones. But, like, imagine being any of those people and then you get to the grocery store and you're on every tabloid for being all these things that you're not and you're just trying to buy, like, and you can't say a case of bottled water.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right. Like, yeah. You can't go on TikTok like you do in just. Just, like, clarify it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

What's printed as fact back then, like, Michael Jackson talked about this only because I keep seeing these interviews, but him being like, in a frozen. He sleeps in a cryo chamber. And Oprah's like, what is that? Or like, maybe it was Barbara and like, oh, what is this about? He's like. It literally was like, oh, he. It was his. In his center for burn victims for children. And it was like something that, like, helps heal them. And he's like, I was just, like, testing it out and someone took that picture and sold it as a paparazzi. Be like, oh, Michael Jackson sleeps in, like, a frozen chamber or something. He's like, it's all.

[Caller]

All.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was all just lies. And it's just. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's always why I feel for Justin Bieber, too. Like, I almost feel like, and this might be a hot take, but I like, will always say this, that I think Justin Bieber is the closest thing to Michael Jackson that we will ever see again. And I don't mean like in the talent or in the way, like, I mean solely in media portrayal and trust. Like even that. Imagine you're like, I made a burn victim center for burn victim children and I'm trying out my machinery and then someone in the room who's probably someone I know and trusted immediately sold that image to like, make me look like an insane person. And like so much just that happened to Justin Bieber so much too, where he just couldn't trust anyone because they were selling his like his life and twisting it and then both going through

[Trisha Paytas]

it as like children too and going through all that stuff. It's, it's a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And then people are mad that he turned to God. It's like, who else?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, well, at least you're turning somewhere. At least you're not dead. You know what I mean? Like, that's why I always. Yeah, anyone who's has to turn to something as long as you keep living, you know, whatever it is, it's so, so true. Keep going, Mom.

[Caller]

Hi, Trish and Tana. About a year ago, I completely blasted myself on the Internet when my husband left me and got millions of views, a hundred thousand followers. Like, it was very fast and I've not known how to deal with it. And now it's been a year. Like I said, my husband has been in treatment for six months. He's going through a 12 month rehab discipleship program. And I truly feel as though I forgive him, but I'm really scared to speak about it online, even though part of me wants to. So just wondering, how do you deal with getting immense amounts of opinions and not letting them bring you down? Because I know a lot of people will try to talk me out of this, but I believe in healing and I believe in forgiveness and I want to see him be, be the best sober version of himself. And I truly think we can do that together. And I don't know, should I just never talk about it online? Should I just not continue to open myself up to that? Thanks.

[Tana Mongeau]

Wow, that's. That's heavy. That's a lot to deal with. First and foremost, like, your truth is your truth. I do like that you kind of ended it because like there is an argument that the advice is maybe that bringing it online is opening, you know, yourself up to receiving all those opinions. And if you already have this, like Adversion towards receiving all of these opinions that. And maybe there might be this part of you, too that feels like you want to vindicate him or, like, justify why you're doing this thing by taking him back and all of these things, and you're doing that. But just know that you don't have to do that on social media. Like, if that's what you want to do, you can just do it. And, like, but at the same time, also, like, like, you shared your vulnerability and people resonated with it. And, like, there are these anomaly situations where, like, you know what I mean? Someone sticks by someone's side through them getting clean. Or someone sticks by someone's side and truly believes they changed and they go on for the rest of their lives and they thrive. And, like, if you felt like you were sane enough to, you know what I mean, and strong enough to, like, share that vulnerably and, like, maybe help some other people and stuff, it could be a good thing. But you just got to remember that, like, you're indifferent of all the opinions, you know, and that, like, your people in your real life know you and that's all that matters.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, that is the tricky part. Yeah. Sharing something so open and vulnerable, especially relationships, right? Like, it can feel so good to vent and get the validation. And again, then the circumstance, and all of a sudden people are like, you're dummy. It's like, it's so hard to, like, ignore it. It's. It's tough. I'm with you, girl. I want to share, like, every little thing I have learned. Just my personal experience. But, like, honestly, I'm down for obviously, whatever I want to do. Share it, don't share it. I realize when I, like, keep some things, keep, like, most things about my relationship more private. It's better. You know what I mean? I feel. Because no matter what, you could have the perfect relationship. Even if I share every little thing, which I do share a lot, I guess. Like, I was pushing on the Patreon here about our relationship. Like, I would never share anything. Like, that could be perceived as a negative because everyone takes it and twist it because you, in your head, you're like, oh, I know how this is, but it can play out such a different way to the Internet yet. And, yeah, if you're not, like, fully prepared to take that in or hear the criticism about someone you love, like, it's like, then don't.

[Caller]

I don't even.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I put that rule with anybody, like my mom, you, anybody. It's like, I don't share things that I don't. What I would think people could hold it against Moses, even if it's like not a big deal. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I agree with that. I think that like knowing if you're ready or knowing if you're not ready to take that there because we do live in such a time, you know what I mean? We talk about this a lot where people are just so like, they see these short form things and they are just flippantly sharing their opinions because they want to. And like a lot of times they're very negative and like, you know what I mean? Like, you could easily like be doing this thing because you want to vindicate yourself and you want to like vindicate your relationship and like say that you're starting over and like do that thing for you. But then all of a sudden you are receiving a surplus of people who have never been in this situation or this scenario that like don't understand fully and aren't with you guys behind closed doors and then like you end up up, you know, making your emotions, making it worse, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yes, yes. Because then you try to defend yourself. I get in that mode. I guess I can relate with like the kids, you know, you like. I don't show them much anything because it's like if you show what they're eating, there's always a criticism. They shouldn't be eating that or should. But like there's always a criticism. I'm just fully. Yeah, I'd go into like defense mode. I don't feel like I can fully take it. So I'm just like, you know what? And guess what? What People don't know, they can't judge you on. So it's like I just, you know,

[Tana Mongeau]

and don't feel like because you so deeply shared this one thing that you still have to like be that person and that you owe anyone explaining anything else. Like you could come online tomorrow and decide that you want to make tacos on your tick tock and say like, I'm keeping all of my love life things private, but just know that I'm in a good place. And like so many things have healed and so many things have changed and that could be that on that and like, you know, you don't, you don't owe anyone an explanation. And again, the people in your real life just. That's what matters.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, I think of, I always think of like Becky G. When she was on Call Her Daddy actually she was like, she came out out for the first time like, obviously she took her cheating boyfriend back and people were so pissed and they're like, why would you take him back? So it's like her addressing it and her explanation. I could understand where she was coming from, but the way it was coming across was giving, like, girl, you don't value yourself. Like, so, like the Internet was like pissed at her. You know what I mean? Obviously then she goes and does challenge kills and everyone's like, we love you again. But it is such a roller coaster and people, people love to judge. And so, like, if what they don't know, they can't judge, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And if you just don't feel like you can handle that, which is valid. It's a lot to handle, especially while you're going through such transformative period that you're dedicating your time to, like, I would just be careful and I would think it through and I would just remember that you can do a get ready with me or make those tacos and that you don't owe anyone that because I also understand that, like, I've gone on some crazy tangent and we were just talking about this actually on the Patreon with an ex of mine where like I went on the podcast and I said all of these things and then later I felt like I had to come back and be like, that was so heat of the moment and this person's actually a good person and it was layered. And I still see repercussions of that now and again where, like, I'll see someone call this person a bad person person. And I don't think they are, but I did that, you know, but that also doesn't mean that I need to make like a 50 part series about it now. Like, you know, because I've changed and like I made the reparations and stuff. Like, I don't need to do the same thing that I once did because I've grown, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, absolutely. Pick and choose. I would, I would venture to, maybe not, but also up to you, whatever you feel, you feel like I need to share.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, we love you and we're very proud of you and we're very happy for you. And I know that, that, that is still a hard thing to go through. But sometimes there are again, like I said, anomaly situations where make the decision

[Trisha Paytas]

that's best for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Or someone is your true love and you knew that the things they were doing to you were out of addiction or not being who they are and all of these things. And if you, as long as you deeply intrinsically believe that you can create a secure environment and a happy, healthy one. Then we wish you the best of luck and we love you so much. So much.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you for the call. Thank you so much to RO for sponsoring today's episode of Not Lovelines. You heard about GLP1s and you may be thinking like why haven't I started and why haven't you? Because the GLP1s are now more affordable than ever and RO helps you find the best way to pay for your GB1, whether it's through insurance or the lowest pace cash option. They have so many different variety of ways to pay and now it's becoming more affordable for everyone. I used to hear it was like $500 a shot and with ROW membership you can have different options and not spend that much money on your GLP1. And good health is worth it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And obviously GLP1s have become known for their results, but also for sky high price tags. That reputation alone can make treatment feel out of reach. ROE is changing that by helping eligible patients Access FDA approved GLP1 options at the lowest cost available to them, whether through insurance or lower cost cash pay options. And too many people write themselves off before even exploring treatment, assuming they won't qualify, insurance won't cover it, or the cost will be too high. ROW makes it easy to check what's available, helps determine coverage for free, and offers cash pay FDA approved options so eligible patients can find a path that actually fits their budget.

[Trisha Paytas]

Starting on GLP one can feel unnecessary, complicated insurance questions, pricing uncertainty, and no clear starting point. ROSE implies all of it by helping patients understand their options upfront and find the lowest cost way to access FDA approved GLP1 treatment, whether covered or paying cash.

[Tana Mongeau]

When it comes to GLB1s, most people don't actually know what their lowest cost could be. They just assume it's expensive. ROE helps eligible patients figure that out by checking coverage for free and showing cash pay options, helping people access FDA approved GLP1 treatment at the lowest cost available to them.

[Trisha Paytas]

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[Tana Mongeau]

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[Trisha Paytas]

ROE offers a multi month membership option in addition to the multi month medications that help members prepay and save on their GLP1 medications. Just another way ROE is working to increase access to this life changing medication and these cash pay options ship right to your door. No pharmacy visit required.

[Tana Mongeau]

If you decide to move forward, RO can help you understand if GLP1s are right for you and your goals. But that's just the beginning. When you become a ROW member, you'll have support throughout the process.

[Caller]

Process.

[Tana Mongeau]

You'll have access to your provider on demand. For any questions. Join the over 3 million people who were one of them who have trusted ROW on their weight loss journey.

[Trisha Paytas]

Go to Roveline to see if you qualify. That's R O Co, not Loveline. To get started on row for side

[Tana Mongeau]

effects of GLP1 medications including box warning, go to ro safety. That's ro safety.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you so much ro for sponsoring today's episode. Hi Trisha and Tana.

[Caller]

I love you both so, so much. Yeah, I've never called in, but I was watching a video today and then I was like, let me just call and see. I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. We just went on a vacation with my parents and it went absolutely terrible. My parents said that they think that my boyfriend is mean to me and gaslights me, which sometimes he can be a little critical for sure. And like, yeah, I do see their point. I know that they love me and want the best for me and they're basically like kind of giving me an ultimatum. I'm supposed to graduate and they're saying they're not going to help me move in if I'm still with this guy who I love so much. And I talked to him about it and he, he says that he like can see where they're coming from and like wants to change. But I feel like I've heard that before. I don't know, I'm just so torn on what to do. I really do love him so much, but I know my parents have my best interest in mind. So yeah, just let me know what y' all think. Love you. Bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm gonna say, she said at the end, she said, I feel like I've heard that before and I feel like if you've heard that before from him and that's what you're saying, like I've heard that before from him, I would Listen to your parents. I. And I know it sucks. And our brains convince us that, like, what if this is my person? And all of these things. Things. But your person is gonna go. I also think that there is, like, there are levels of disrespect, like, and being any type of way to you in front of your family.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, in front of other people and stuff like that. I. I would raise that as a pretty big red flag. And like, I don't necessarily love your parents ultimatum approach. However, I do understand that that's what they think. They're doing what's best to get their daughter out of a situation that they want her out of. They're not. There's definitely a better way. But maybe if you have other people in your life also ask their opinion or if you're calling in about this and, like, you might. Because sometimes we know something deep down. I feel like a lot of times I was in relationships and everyone was like, you've got to end this. It's bad for you. And I would try to defend it and I would be like, but they can change. Or they're my person or they're this. And looking back, like, everyone around me who loved me was so right. And that's always what I say. I have no regrets in my life, but at the same time time, I can look back at a lot of things and be like, girl, leave. Like, you could have left a little sooner.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, yeah, I feel like that's every one of my relationships. She was like, damn.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Every single person, even people online, knew I'm more for me. Yeah. Like you. I was like, oh, yeah. Probably that. Yeah, I guess I. Yeah, I agree. I think ultimatums from parents are just, like, never a good thing because it makes you just want to rebel more. I've gotten ultimatums before from, like, my parents, and it just, like, never works. But yeah, someone was, like, critical of, like, Malibu. I don't know what that means. Like, being critical. Is he like, your looks, your appearance, putting you down? I don't know, but.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, she. Her parents straight up said he was mean, and then she was kind of. She's kind of doing the thing that we do where we're like, you know, oh, but he's just. I can see how he's a little overly critical. But, like, your parents think he's mean to you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. If someone is mean, it's my daughter. Oh, my God. I would, like, beat the out of them. I would be like, absolutely. Like, what do you mean? Like, being mean, like, especially in Front of parents, like you can't even hold it in like here. But if you're like being mean in front of us, I'd be like, what the hell is your problem? Like, I'd be like, you're piece of like that's being mean to the person you're in. A relationship is like not your prison. If someone's mean to you, they don't

[Tana Mongeau]

love you 100 everything. Like I know that like at a young age it's hard to see this, but like that person would then be mean to you in front of your daughter one day and then your daughter would then grow up with the precedent that that's what love is like and that it's just awful. I'm not trying to like really like ostracize this thing and make it this drastic future thing, but a lot of times that is how women end up snowballing into these type of lifestyles. And you sound like a beautiful, emotionally intelligent, kind, incredible woman. Like from that call, the way you worded it, like you have a lot to offer and you deserve someone who is never mean to you. Like just never, never, never mean to you. Especially in front of other people. Like we talk about that a lot. Like it's one thing if you guys want to discuss a disagreement at home and he said he wanted to change. You said you've heard that before. If you've heard that before from him, I think you dip. If you just mean in general, you could maybe give him one last shot. But also like there's a heavy chance that like you might look back on something that happens eight months down the line and be like, my parents were right and I should have like, yeah,

[Trisha Paytas]

even you calling in and like thinking about this means like, yeah, you should probably leave him. Because like I had people be so mean to me and I just didn't realize it until like obviously I realized it and then you're just like, damn, I wish I would have. And it like ruins your self esteem over time. Like I think I have like the lowest self esteem. It's been built up a lot obviously with Moses the past like six years. But like it was down. I was down bad. I was like being down bad because you're just your self esteem over time because maybe you don't think they're being mean, maybe you don't think it's that bad. But then over time, yeah, you just start thinking like you're worthless.

[Tana Mongeau]

And there's so many guys out there that would literally like do anything to like kiss the bottom of your foot and tell you that you're perfect and it's so real. Like it's just. And obviously like we could go into his psychology, right? Like he's probably overly critical of you and being mean to you because he's insecure himself and he can project that somewhere else. But that also doesn't mean that it's your job to fix somebody's roof son who can't get their right in front of your parents, who should mean the most to him. Like if, if he valued this relationship he would be like, these are my parents in law and I want to impress them and I want to go above and beyond and like I don't know girl, I'm gonna say that like there are a million more men out there and your brain convinces you that like it's just this guy and you're not gonna find the other person. You have to start over and just all of those things aren't true. And I'm gonna say dump him. I wish we had our dump him 100.

[Trisha Paytas]

Dump him 100. Like there's no person who's in love with you. It should be mean to you. In fact, like I said, should be so nice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Maybe if he's going through something and maybe if he really just wasn't aware of his delivery of things and maybe if you really have not heard this from him before, like maybe there is this 1% sector, I'm trying to devil's advocate that like maybe, but like if those things aren't true, like I, I wouldn't let him heal himself on his own. And if you guys are meant to be, you'll come back together when he maybe wants to be nice, but also so many people will be so nice.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, there's a lot of nice, nice people out there that are wonderful and

[Tana Mongeau]

attractive and sweet, of course. And we love you and I don't know, I think when all the people in your life who love you have something to say and you have rose colored glasses, sometimes it's important to recognize and yes, you have to like mourn it and go through the breakup and all of those things which suck. But like it's for a greater life.

[Trisha Paytas]

Crazy. Someone could be like the one worst to you and you're still like, I miss that.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mourned. I mourned people who treated me horribly for so long and it was hard and that was why I stayed. Cuz I didn't want to go through the morning of it. And you build these attachments. But then after I was out on the Other side. And all of a sudden, I was on a date with a guy who was, like, being so kind to me. I was like, what the was I doing for so long? You know, it's like, no, I think

[Trisha Paytas]

with all the time again later, this makes me emotional so much because it's like, damn. I really put up with, like. Like, awful, Awful. People just treat me awful. And, like, maybe it's like, my fault that I stayed around. I don't know. Like, there's so many reasons, but, like, your fault.

[Tana Mongeau]

It was just like, the cards that you were dealt led you to believe that something weird. That was love.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's what's, like, so crazy to me. And I just was, like, treated so poorly and, like, stayed around. And then obviously, like, I had my own issues, too. But, yeah, you meet someone that just, like, gets you, and it's just, like, overly nice to you to the point where I'm like. Like, it's so funny. Like, when Moses says stuff now, and he'll be like. I'll be like, oh, I don't know what you're watching. I think we're talking about before. I'm like. And it was on the podcast. I was like, oh, what are you looking forward to tonight? He's like. Or I said, who are you looking forward to seeing tonight? Or something? And he's just like, you. And I was like, we're talking about euphoria, but thank you. And it's just like, stuff like that. You, like, roll your eyes and you're like, all right. But then it's like, he just showers me so much love that he's just like. Or like, we were on the carpet for the Billboard Awards, and someone asked him who he was excited to see tonight, and I was, you know, I was like, Ludacris and tlc and that Moses, who, excited to see. He's like, Trisha. Like, it's so cute.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's like, they're really. For every girl list to this show, there is someone out there who will act like you hung the moon, whether you did or didn't. I'm a all the time. MCO acts like I hung the moon, like, and I'm. I'm myself all the time is what I should say. It's not that I'm literally a all the time, but, like, I'm not this perfect. I don't have to fit into this mold that this guy wants me to be. I get to be myself through and through and feel loved and adored for that. And, like, that is out there.

[Trisha Paytas]

For everyone is, like, literally, like, driving you back and forth. And I don't live close. We don't live that close to each other. And you were, like, driving, driving. Dropped you off. He's, okay, I'll see you. I'll pick you up at, like, 7. Comes back, drives back up. I was like, damn.

[Tana Mongeau]

And just, like, all the little things, you know, like, the amount of people I dated that I felt like I had to look a certain way for. He thinks I'm my most beautiful when I think I'm my most ugly. Like, it's just there's so many little things, you know? And he might guide me now and again and be like, hey, maybe don't do that. Or maybe, like, you know, don't say that or something. But he's never gonna, like, be overly critical of me. I think that someone can wanna help you grow. There's a difference between overly critical and being like. Like, hey, maybe, like, life would be a little easier if you, like, did this or, like, whatever. Like, I'm not saying someone has to just, like, suck your fart, but, like, at the same time, I don't know. I don't like how this sounds. So I'm gonna say I think, dump him and we love you and you got this. You can dump him. And you will prevail.

[Trisha Paytas]

Someone's better out there. Yes. Definitely.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

We hate him. You look so cool. You just look like a rock star.

[Tana Mongeau]

I swear to God, it's because my eyes are burning so hard, Hard from being so tired that these lights are so bright that I'm like, thank you

[Trisha Paytas]

so much to no CD for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. We get a ton of questions. People who have intrusive thoughts. What if my partner doesn't love me? What if I'm not good enough? Is this relationship worth it? Am I worth it? Am I a horrible person? If I've ever had bad thoughts about my partner, intrusive thoughts can have a hold on us. With no cd, intrusive thoughts can hold less power over you and they won't cause as much distress. If your brain has ever tortured you with the what ifs and the unknowns, NOCD may be able to help. Sometimes you may think, what if I'm with the wrong person and I'm too scared to admit it? These are thoughts that are caused by overthinking. NOCD provides treatment for ocd. You can learn to manage your OCD symptoms so you can live the life you've always wanted. OCD is nothing like the stereotypes about liking things organized. It's a serious condition involving distressing, unwanted thoughts that get stuck in your mind and behaviors that you do to try and make those thoughts go away. OCD is treatable with the right kind of therapy, and that's where NOCD comes in. NOCD is the world's leading treatment provider for ocd. All of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy, exposure and response prevention, which has proven to be the most effective treatment for ocd. OCD is often overlooked or improperly treated, but NO CD therapists go through extensive training led by leading experts in ocd, so they know exactly what to look for and how to help. Therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans, and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's n o c d dot com. Thank you so much, NOCD, for sponsoring this episode of Not Love Life.

[Caller]

I have an unconventional situation in my life right now. Basically, I'm in a throuple dating a married couple, and it's been about five months now. Communication is great. Jealousy doesn't really exist. It truly is just like an ideal situation. However, I'm moving out of state in a couple months. So I guess I'm trying to ask for advice on. On how to cope losing two people who I'm really close to, because it's not like I have a future with them, but I've known that from the beginning. That's not the issue. But how do I continue to put myself first and try to move on from these two people I created such a beautiful connection with?

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, that's sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Can you move with them? Like, what's the solution here? That makes me actually so sad that you're like, I'm losing two people.

[Tana Mongeau]

And, like, I know that she's saying, like, I knew that I couldn't have a future with them, but obviously when you create these beautiful things, connections, like, there's fact versus your heart. You know, it's like a head versus heart. Like, maybe your head is saying, like, okay, I'm not gonna be in this trouble forever, and we're gonna be fine. But your heart is, like, falling for these two people. God, that's tough because it's like the pain of a breakup two times over,

[Trisha Paytas]

and then they get to be with each other, and you're like, what about me?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, my God. That does. That is just devastating. I mean, God, I. You have to treat it just like a monogamous breakup, right? Where it's like, this can't happen. I don't know, though, you know, because it's like, is it just the distance? Like, why can't it happen?

[Trisha Paytas]

Why can't you go with them?

[Tana Mongeau]

But then that is such an interesting. I'm in a long distance throuple forever. Like, what is the thruffle?

[Trisha Paytas]

Works without the physical intimacy part. I mean, maybe, but I just think in general, couples are. Well, I guess I know I never been a long distance relationship, so I don't know. But in general, I can never be because I need to be physically next to someone. Even if it's not sex, I like to be next to somebody.

[Tana Mongeau]

God, that is just so hard. Because even them as a couple, like, they're. They would be mourning you too, I assume if you guys have all created this beautiful connection and then they're with each other in bed at night, and then they're both like, yearning for the other person to be there, and they're not.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yearning is so Bridgerton, too. I love all these words we've been using today.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love a yearn. I love the word. But like, damn, that does just suck. Like, I try to move with them.

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't. I don't understand what's stopping. Is it like them.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think they're saying, she's moving, leaving.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, oh, girl, you stay. Where are you going?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I guess it's really the point where you sit down and you have the hard conversation with them about, like, what does this look like in the next five to ten years for you?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, you're the one leaving.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And just like, is it worth me staying behind or was this a fun phase for you guys? And I got emotionally, like, caught up into something that, like, I now need to move on from, you know, and that's okay too.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel like she's, like, in love with them, and I feel like you need to stay for love.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that is so. But, like, what if they don't ever see the idea of, like, the three of them raising kids together? What if they don't ever see the idea of, like. Like, you know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, talk about it, like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, Like, I feel like this. This calls for a very hard conversation because I think that if you don't have the conversation, you're gonna spend the rest of your life living. Living. It'll be 30 years from now you're gonna be living in my opinion, I'm a yearner. So, like, living in the. What if. Living in the. Like, what if I stayed? What if I. This. I miss them? Like, I. Whatever. But you need to figure out with them if, like, there's even a future of that or if it was supposed to be this fun thing that turned into this connection. And, like, I think everything happens for a reason, though. Like, if you. If you guys are meant to be, you will be. You know, like, I. I say my advice to you is to have the hard conversation of. Of, like, why are we ending this slash? Like, what does long term, if any, look like for you in this? Do you. You, as someone who loves me and cares about me, do you think I should go and move?

[Trisha Paytas]

And, like, yeah, that's a good one.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, I hate that in movies

[Trisha Paytas]

when they're like, do you think I should go? And they'll be like, if you want. It's like, no, I want you to fight for me and be like, maybe they will.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And then if not, I mean, obviously, like, you will still be okay no matter what happens. I don't know what you're moving for, but if you're moving for a new opportunity or a new life or a new thing and, like, you felt called to move, you also might be being called to your soulmate or soul mates that are in this new place that makes more sense for your future and your life. So I would. My advice is to have the hard conversation.

[Trisha Paytas]

Good luck. And I feel like you're right. What's meant to be.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, that's tough, though. And you should honestly document it, because I want to watch every. Every video on this.

[Trisha Paytas]

So content creator review. Like, docus are in right now. Everyone's buying it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know, I know. But, God, it is just so interesting to, like, mourn a breakup of two people that get to remain together. That is such a pain.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I know. Knowing that they're gonna just be together and not. You do the docu series about nail techs? No, the original nail tech. I just watched that. That was so interesting. I go to, you know, the nail techs that are like. Or, like, the nail salons that are just kind of like on the corners, like in the malls or something like that. You know, they're pretty affordable. I like going in them because I just get, like. I don't really get much done to my nails, but I like going in them anyways. It was so interesting. Dakota Fanning's, like, grandma was, like, a famous actress in, like, the 50s or 60s. And she. Maybe it was like her assistant or something like that, but one of her nail techs or one of her, like, her assistants, she's like, oh, go to nail school and learn how to do nails. And she was Vietnamese, and then she went back home and taught it to everyone in Vietnam. And that's why nowadays there's a lot of Vietnamese nail techs because they went and, like, learned this trade because it was like, you know, it was pretty good money. And it was like a way to like, come over here. And I was like, the whole history of nail tax, I was like, that is so interesting to me. So, like, one person went back, taught everyone, not everyone, but, like, people who want to learn.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that was like the domino effect, teaching people.

[Trisha Paytas]

And that was like a way, like, out or way to make more money and send it to their family back home and stuff like that. I just thought it was so interesting because I love all my nails. I've been going to those, like, nail salons literally my whole life, and I love them so much. And I always am, like. Because they're just, like, really sweet too. And they're so good and they're so fast and you're just like, how did. How does. How did you guys learn this? You know? And then, like, one person did. I thought it was really interesting. It's a good documentary. I really, like, nailed it, maybe. It was really.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like, have had the opposite experience to what you're saying where you're like, like, like, I don't know, maybe just the ones I choose in la where I'm, like, getting botched or hurt or bleeding or like, all the things get

[Trisha Paytas]

nicked all the time.

[Tana Mongeau]

But that's fine. That's fine. But I've had, like, some serious, like, I don't know, infections, I guess. And I also feel bad. Like, I'm like. I move around a lot and stuff, so I don't, like, want to go in and like, up someone's day.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, that's good. At least you're like, nice. Because some people also treat them like too. Like, I've seen people on Tick Tock, like, yell or accuse them of stealing money or just like, being so.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's crazy.

[Trisha Paytas]

And it's like, they're also, you know, obviously too, like, if, like, I've seen people. People just be so awful and be like, you know, if you don't understand English and like, they're just, like, so mean. They're not going to, like, Vietnam and talking and communicating with them, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, they're. They're so. I don't know. I love them, but I know what you mean. Like, yeah, I mean, definitely. Yeah. There's certain ones. Like, any industry. There are certain.

[Tana Mongeau]

I also just can't be still. And, like, it really is more of a me thing where I never want to, like, disrespect someone else's time and stuff with, like, my inability to. My ADHD is just so.

[Trisha Paytas]

I definitely had. Yeah. Where people always get the whole color wrong, but I never. It's very much like food, too. I'm always. I was just like, you know what? It's fine. I was meant to have blue nails today.

[Caller]

I also.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I used to, like, so thick, but it's so funny to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, no, I think those are cute. Very Y2K.

[Trisha Paytas]

Give me that. Like, unintentionally. I like chunky, but I was like, beautiful. Love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I always say it. I always go back to the same people. I'm like, whatever. And sometimes it's great, and sometimes it's not.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't really care if it lasts for a month. I think having like, a real hissy fit about, like, the amount of times in my life where I went in for something, I showed the photo, and I got something else different.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've never really been the one to, like, I might go home and, like, show Ashley and be like, I wanted this and I got this.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, to actually, like, throw a fit in person. Unless it's like, your wedding day.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right. Like, also, like, manage the expectations.

[Tana Mongeau]

Right.

[Trisha Paytas]

If you see some, like. If you see Sean Legend doing, like, crazy artist nails, he charges fifteen hundred dollars for and takes fifteen hours to do. Like, you can't just go into, like, a salon where they just have, like, very basic training and expect to have

[Tana Mongeau]

these, like, like, amazing amount of time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. It's like, they're very. It's a very quick servicing. It's a very quick turnaround, and that's why I like it. But I get waxed there. I get everything there, but no way.

[Caller]

What do you want?

[Trisha Paytas]

My brow and my lip and I go probably, like, once a week because my. My lip is really bad. Like, I swear I just got waxed on, like, Sunday, and it's like hair starts growing back instantly.

[Tana Mongeau]

I shave my upper lip with a Venus razor like that you use for legs. I know.

[Trisha Paytas]

How do you have no stubble?

[Tana Mongeau]

I. No, I do. Oh, my God. I had a stash last week. I was giving it to me. Mario like, did you have a mustache? Like, last week? I had a mustache, like, full.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you have a mustache, kid?

[Tana Mongeau]

Not really. No. I just. Is it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is it, like, blonde?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, no, it's kind of like my root color. It's dark, too.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I get some, like, long ones. I'm so self conscious. I have a really dark mustache. I was like, a kid, and I was, like, super self conscious about it, and I'm still self conscious.

[Tana Mongeau]

Waxing is so painful, though. I know. It gets less painful over time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. I feel like I don't. It's. It's painful down there if you're shaving and then wax. But I've never, like, shaved up here, so I feel like it's pretty like a virgin.

[Tana Mongeau]

And the face is, like, more manageable. But the cooter, like, I've only ever tried a Brazilian wax one time, and I walked out halfway through.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, looked like an Oreo. Like, it. Like, I walked out halfway. It was so. It's so painful. Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I got mine done without ever shaving my pubic hair. I never shaved, like, my pubic hair until I was like. Well, I never did, but When I was 18, I went to go get a full wax, and it didn't hurt at all. I was like, oh, my God, this is, like, so easy. Did not hurt at all. But it had never shaved.

[Caller]

And then.

[Trisha Paytas]

So when I went back a few years later and I've been shaving for a couple years and couldn't get past, like, two strips.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I was like, absolutely not.

[Tana Mongeau]

And, like, the glue of the wax against the hair, like, the wrong way. I can't do it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think if you never shave, I think it. It's okay. Is what I gathered, because the first time I was like, oh, that was nothing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I would have had some sort of pain.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, some people use lidocaine cream. One of my best friends, she does that. Like, she'll, like. It's like, slightly numbing. Like, she'll numb her cooter and then go get it waxed and, like, whatever.

[Trisha Paytas]

If you're gonna, like, pass the surgery, they could just do it while you're under.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Just get a little quick.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, even though, like, fractal laser. Laser treatments, you can get, like, people do it, like, while they're under so they don't have to feel the pain.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would, like, live for a way to wax it. I used to wax my underarms a lot. I honestly missed that.

[Trisha Paytas]

I loved that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Mine I can never get. I have, like, the Worst double under there. I always have stubble no matter if I just shave. There's a stubble, too.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want lasers so bad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Doesn't work. I've done laser way and that never worked. I did so many treatments. Laser way. Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, a lot.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes, a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it just, like, didn't do anything.

[Trisha Paytas]

Years.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

It did nothing. And I was like, I. I think this is.

[Tana Mongeau]

I want to give it a go so bad. I hate shaving more than anything I know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Anything. Electrolysis. I would do anything to, like, not have hair.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, I don't say anything that's a bad thing to put in the universe. I don't want to get sick or anything, but, like, I. Like as far as medical. And I'd be healthy, you know, I would do anything.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I would just. I cannot. Like, I feel like I blink and I have stubble after shaving. Literally.

[Trisha Paytas]

Mine just too. I know. I'm like, how do people get those clean armpits?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't. I think it's waxing or laser or just genetic. Like your pores and your follicles and your whatever.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, thank you to Lola Blankets for sponsoring today's episode of Not Love Loveline.

[Tana Mongeau]

You freaked out.

[Trisha Paytas]

You freaked out.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am freaking because this is one of those things where it doesn't have to. I'm so grateful they want to work with us, but I. No matter what, I want my whole house covered in them. I love them more than anything. I just gave Deborah one for Mother's Day. I think they're the best gifts in the world. I was definitely so intrigued to see what the hype was all about. Like, when I first got it and when it got to my house, I was like, people are literally under hype typing this. People should be talking about this more.

[Trisha Paytas]

I agree.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're so soft. They maintain the softness. They're so heavy. They're so warm.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, it's like a hug. It's like a hug. And the designs. Oh, my God, I love this.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're so cute. The pink one that I just got Deborah was everything McCo and I sleep with at minimum, three on our beds. They have a travel size that I put in the car and to bring on the plane. Like, they're my favorite thing in the world.

[Trisha Paytas]

We are sponsored here today by Lola Blanket. That's right. Lola is the world's number one blanket. Crafted with ultra soft luxury faux fur and a signature four way stretch that sets it apart. It's machine washable, double hemmed for durability and stays flawless no pilling, no shedding, even after repeated washes, which means so much to me.

[Tana Mongeau]

That goes back to why I love it, because I think you can buy so many blankets and, like, at first they'll be soft, but then they just depreciate in quality so fast. I've had this one now for, like, months and months, and they just stay the same. They're perfect. They're gorgeous. No, it's. It's the best blanket.

[Trisha Paytas]

Buster loves this blanket too.

[Tana Mongeau]

Buster loves. Because he's a cold Chihuahua. It's. It can make you so warm and just cuddly. It is.

[Trisha Paytas]

Elvis loves it too. She has her big blankie that she just comes everywhere with it. Like, Melboy is a cute little one, and she has this big one that she just like wraps herself in.

[Tana Mongeau]

I completely get it the best. And one Lola will instantly elevate your space. I even remember when Paige got the caramel Lola in her new place, and I was like, this changed your room. Like, draping it over a chair, draping it over a couch, Edge of the bed folded out. I'm passionate. If you can't tell.

[Trisha Paytas]

I discovered Lola through Tana, actually. I remember she was telling me about these blankets, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I want one. Obviously, it's all over, like, TikTok. It's all over social media. It's everywhere. But when Tana's like, oh, I'll just like, uber the one I have here. It's like, oh, my God, this was great. It's so cozy. It's so wonderful. Now I see them everywhere and we tell everyone about it. And it is a great gift as well. It's personal, beautiful, and something people actually use every day. People want it, so they may not splurge on a nice blanket. Maybe it's your turn to do it

[Tana Mongeau]

for them and even, like, just their patterns or when I got this one, I was like, this is such a cute little tiger print. Like, it just changes the whole room. And I'm the most comfortable I've ever been.

[Trisha Paytas]

So nice. Lola has over 20,000 five star reviews. And once you feel it, you'll know why. There's a reason it's called the world's number one blanket. This thing is next level.

[Tana Mongeau]

Lola Blankets has collaborated with a number of amazing designers. They've done limited edition with Tezza Harmony Bows and Rachel Paul Parcel. But you've got to move fast. The drops always sell out for a limited time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Our listeners can get 40 off select Lola blanket products with code not loveline at checkout. That's right, 40. Just head to lola blankets.com and use code not loveline to get 40 off your order.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you so much to Lola Blankets.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you. And make sure after you purchase to tell them our show sent you. Say not Loveline sent to you. And it helps support our show and let them know. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola blanket.

[Tana Mongeau]

And honestly, if your girlfriend's ever mad at you, like, get her a Lola blanket. It just. It fixes things. It does love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I always see an ad on TikTok and it's you with like, a pink thing, like, squeezing your face.

[Tana Mongeau]

Medicube, that's their booster pro and it's always coming up. I, like, got into it because I'm a sheeple and I saw Kylie Jenner using it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Wow.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it is interesting. It's like a. It helps your product absorb, like, way crazier. And like, the. The one I was using that you see is like a gua sha, but, like, it sends, like, squeeze.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like bling your face. I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. It sends, like, microcurrents like it. So it, like, helps you. I should use it more often. That's the only thing. I think I would see more of a difference. Ashley's super good about using hers, like, every day and she's glowing for that reason.

[Trisha Paytas]

But yeah, her skin looks good. Makes me want to get. Honestly, I hope they gave you couple a good bag because I see that literally every two scrolls. I'm always like, oh, my gosh, again,

[Tana Mongeau]

I really do love Medicube. Like, they were so sweet for, like, wanting to work with me. Like, it was really cool that because I've been using those face masks me so brand safe for so long and just I love their products.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know. I want to try the Dr. Groot because Bretman Rock talks about it and they took him to Korea. And I was like, I want to go to Korea so bad. So I was like, I'm trying Dr. Groot again. I ordered it, but I never used it. But the doctor on it looks scary to me because it's like an 1800s Victorian mustache and doctor. And that's the Dr. Groot. And I'm like, well, this looks very

[Tana Mongeau]

old, but anything to help this hair grow, I would want to try that too. This is gonna be a tick tock shop clip, by the way, and there's gonna be a link to it right now. And I would like 10. That's what I'm gonna say, that it should be illegal.

[Trisha Paytas]

I Know I hate when people do that. I was like, so annoying. It's like, okay, well, now we're moving

[Tana Mongeau]

less to, like, using clips of, like, us and just using straight AI people. And it's like, yes, so scary.

[Trisha Paytas]

Makes me sad all the time. And they're like, that's an AI person.

[Tana Mongeau]

You couldn't even figure out what real outfit was. Who's, like, on. On X on Twitter. I hate it, like, because there would be, like, Lady Gaga in five different outfits, and they all looked real. And it was like, which one is the real one? It makes me so sad.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I'm. I'm really over this AI. We gotta find out a way to stop it.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know. It's so, like. Yeah, it's just so sad. Even that. Like, on Tick Tock, I was telling you this a while ago, but, like, I saw something. Some clip of, like, two girls hanging a Justin Bieber poster in their room with the Tick Tock shop link. And it was just AI and I was like, we're literally losing, like, humanity and camaraderie and, like, you know, someone bought that poster from that. And it's just like, consumerism.

[Trisha Paytas]

Whatever they do with the hunter styles too, the K Pop Demon hunter dolls, they're all fake. I order them and they never come. Or they're like, little. And I'm just like, it's like paper dolls. Came in one.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was like, I just ordered a fake jelly cat. I'm done. We should take a call.

[Trisha Paytas]

I always see that. Is it the first one?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's the leopard one.

[Caller]

One.

[Trisha Paytas]

Is it a. Oh, like a leopard animal?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, a little bunny.

[Trisha Paytas]

I seen the jelly cat. Like, Birkins.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And I.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I just got it and I was like, it's because I have a real jelly cat that Makoa got me. And, like, it's just so dhgate. Like, it has the jelly cat tag and stuff, but it's giving. Like, it's giving, like, not. It's like jelly dog.

[Trisha Paytas]

So what did you do with it?

[Tana Mongeau]

Jam dog. But I'm keeping it. It's the leopard. It's cute. And then, well, so I wanted this jelly cat. This is the worst podcast topic. Like, tennis. Shut the the begging. But it was a little leopard bunny. So cute. Jelly cat was selling it at face value. People became obsessed with it. They bought it, and then now people are reselling them, even on marketplace for like, 400 for this little stuffed animal. And it's like, I just.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I fall victim to that too. I got one of those glitter dumplings for 400 on StockX. And it was tiny. I thought it was the big glitter dumpling. And it was a tiny glitter dumpling.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I was like, it's. And then I'm talking about the Starbucks bear cup. And then here I am, like, I

[Trisha Paytas]

have five of those.

[Tana Mongeau]

I will say, like, fighting people is what I'm really talking about. Like, people doing astronomical things, but still. Oh, my God. I, like, that's why I need to go to Hawaii, because I'm not a max consumer over there.

[Trisha Paytas]

Reset.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I can't even get it shipped there in the time I'm there.

[Trisha Paytas]

So it's like, I do love that. That's great. It's like, doesn't ship to Hawaii. It's like, okay, yes. Like, thank God.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank God. I don't need it.

[Caller]

I want to keep this anonymous, but I am. Been with my boyfriend now for six years, and we love each other. Everything is cool. Everything's good. Except everything's kind of boring at the same time. And I don't know how to bring that up to him without making him kind of feel bad, because it's like, he's a very sensitive person, and I will be very honest, but I don't know how to bring up to him that boring. So if y' all have any advice, let me know, because it's been boring for the past year, man. But I love him so bad. Like, I can't keep with the boring cycle.

[Tana Mongeau]

My poor thing.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's a very tough one.

[Tana Mongeau]

And six years is a very long time. And, like, especially six years is so long. If one year is one way, but the other five were a different way. In retrospect, it is just, like, a frustrating pain to live in. And, like, you don't want to live in that. I feel like you can. You don't even have. Like, who says you have to? Theoretically, likely. And I resonate with this girl a lot because I'm the type of person who will be like, things are boring, and then, like, someone's feelings are hurt. And it's like, I didn't have to say that that way. Like, I just. I naturally will, like, say things exactly how I feel them. And in reality, there's, like, a way of going about it that protects feelings and is kinder. But, like, what if it's not about the things you say, it's about the things you do? Like, what if you're planning fun things for you guys to do and, like, planning different dates. Planning. Planning different sexual things. Planning different things to do and, like, almost like dancing around it a little bit where it's like, I just want to spice things up, babe. Like, I never want to be one of those couples where like, like, not necessarily saying I feel like we are one of those couples where things are boring, but saying like, I never want us to get to that point. Like, yeah, let's like put forth effort into this. Let's foster this relationship. Like, you know what I mean? Whatever that means. Like, maybe you guys have a favorite date that you used to go on a bunch and like, you do it again or like, you know, yeah, definitely

[Trisha Paytas]

saying what you want. Sometimes they don't know, you know, sometimes they don't know that they fall into this routine because there's so much comfort. I always call her. I always say, and like Mo's always tells me on the podcast, like, that's like boring. It's like a. But I love, I love having a boring life because it's like, yeah, but I think of it as like, simple. I think simple life is good, but. So you can either embrace it. But I love your advice. That's really great. Because the other thing I think is like, that is a deal breaker for a lot of people. Like, people change. Like how she was so adventurous, interest, and now she's so boring. And it's like. And usually it's like the guy saying that about the girl. So I think that's interesting and I think it's also valid too. Some people just like fall out of love and they're like, this is not exciting. But I love your advice because that's not what I was thinking. Yeah. Like, sometimes you just gotta say, I. I'm really early on in relationships. I'm like, I want more gifts.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

And like, he started buying me gifts and I was like, I don't know why I said that. But like, he just started buying more gifts. And in the moment I was like, this is what I love. And then realizing that's not like what I cared about at all. But like, sometimes if you just say things, they might. Might be like I said too, so fair.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I always talk about that. Like, I think that sometimes you want your partner to read your mind. And especially the like, woman man dynamic. A man, a lot of the times I'm an adventure to say is not reading your mind. And then like, a lot of times we are like, why aren't. Why isn't this happening? Whereas, like, the communication is just so good. Like, but also genuinely, I think if you guys just, if you're meant to be and this is the right one and all of the things he will want the same thing. You know, he wants to feel like you guys are having fun too. And there's so many ways to do that. So I think it's about putting forth effort into like planning things. And it might feel a little unnatural at first. Like I'm planning this date and like I also think time apart can be good for that sometimes. Like if you guys were to just spend if, if you're able to in your current situation, like a week apart or like something like that, like then you come back and it's like I missed you and it's like steamier and like all of those things like that can help. Like if, of just, you know, certain, certain little things I say communicate, plan and just try different things. And there are definitely ways of saying and getting what you want without being like just direct and like, especially if he's sensitive, you know, like, yeah, being like, I don't want to be this type of couple. I want to put effort into our relationship so that we, the spark is still there for me. Like all of those things, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. There's just no way when you're in a long term relationship that you, you're going to have the spark all the time. And so you just have to. Yeah, you like communicate it, fight for it, make it happen.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And I think, yeah, I agree with that too. Like ebbs and flows where there's times of life where people are working really hard and you're tired or there's times of life where it's just like, that's not. The first thing on your mind is like, how do I wake up and spice up my relationship today? It's like there's real going on in your lives. So like it does take effort sometimes, but if it's the right person, the effort is so worth it. And just don't give up. And then obviously like if someone isn't receptive to that, that like that opens a whole new conversation of like, you know, outgrowing things and like whatever. But I don't wanna, I don't wanna put that on you.

[Trisha Paytas]

I want.

[Tana Mongeau]

Give it, give it your valiant effort. If this is six years and it's the love of your life, like give it your valiant effort.

[Trisha Paytas]

Then you can always say, I tried. He tried different ways, but I tried everything. Yes, I think it'll work out. I think it's gonna work out.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Trisha Paytas]

If you love someone, I think it goes through it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. So we believe in you, diva. There are definitely ways of dancing around what you are. Want to say to protect this, the sensitive person in the relationship, but still get what you want. Don't feel like two things can't be true. You know, he can be sensitive, but you can still get what you want, like, out of the relationship in a healthy way. So.

[Caller]

Hi, girls. Love you both. I'm a girl in my mid-20s, and I just started dating someone that's about five years older than me, and he's the youngest of four. So all of his siblings that are older than him are almost 40 years old. So when I hang out with his family, it's really hard for me to relate because I feel super young, and I'm not used to that because I'm the oldest in my family out of all the cousins, out of my siblings, everything. So can you just help me with that dynamic? I want to be able to relate to them and have good conversations with them. But right. Right now, I'm kind of just struggling.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is such a hard feeling to feel, like, isolated and, like, the odd one out in an environment. But obviously, like, she loves this guy. And, like, your age gap isn't crazy. Like, if you were telling me that, like, you're in your early 20s and he's in his 40s, and you guys can't relate, I was gonna say we've got a big pill to swallow here. However, that's not the scenario. Like.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's just the family dynamics and stuff. Stuff like that. And that's so interesting. Like, the juxtaposition of being, like, the oldest in your family and kind of having that, like, feeling of seniority and feeling of, like, being a part of all those conversations and then entering these rooms where you're like, I'm lost with everything that they talk about. Yeah, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

But maybe lean into it. I mean, maybe it's kind of like a good thing. Right? Like, you finally. You're like the baby, for instance. Right. You know what I mean? Or the young one. And I feel like maybe leaning into it 1. You could always catch up, you know, later and, like, mature. As long as you're connecting with, like, your partner. Your partner. Try your best. I also think there is something to be said, like, when you're the oldest, I'm like, I'm not. But, like, if you're in your oldest for so long, you're so used to, like, leading the conversation, being the mature one now you get to be just like, yeah, I'm a. I'm the baby, and I'm just Gonna listen and you know, take it in. And I also feel like you'll be surprised that a lot of 40 year olds are, are relatively, I want to say immature but they young at heart, you know what I mean? I think there is, there's ways you can, can relate to them. Obviously you're not dating them, so it's like there's ways. I, I, when I see like 50, 50 year olds, you know, like my mom's friend, whatever, it's like I, my dad's friends, they're 70, they're gonna be at my dad's 70th birthday party. You find ways to like relate Elvis. You know what I mean? Like you just find things, you just, it takes some time. But I don't know. Sometimes I really like being around older people in like the non sexual way and it just, you like learn stuff, you know what I mean? Like, and they're kind of cool. All people are kind of cool sometimes. I agree.

[Tana Mongeau]

There's something to learn for both parties.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. And I think they'll find it.

[Tana Mongeau]

You across this voicemail you kept saying that you want to relate to them. And the point blank fact of the matter might be that you and these people have nothing to relate to each other on. Completely different generations, completely different interests, completely different whatever. But that doesn't always mean that a relationship like a friendship or a forming a bond with these people is just completely chalked because of that. Like sometimes, sometimes you can go in and be like, I want to learn all about their interests. And like what if they end up putting you on to this thing that you never thought you'd be interested in because it's not like this thing but you actually end up loving it. And then you're having so much fun with them doing that or like hearing about their lives can be so interesting. Like almost like interviewing them in a way where you're like the things about their lives that like interest you and like how they were brought up and how their generation like sometimes it's not about relating, it's just about learning and like forming a bond, I guess, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, for sure. I think that's, Yeah, I think ask questions is always good. I think you'll get there. It's like you get there or you know, you just, or you just vibe. You just vibe and see. Let them, you know, just be. Enjoy being the young one on this one.

[Tana Mongeau]

I felt so much nervousness too like with Mokoa's family like to almost. Yeah. She's like would we relate on anything? Because like we were brought up in completely different ways. And like, I don't even. I also. So, like, I never had a family dynamic. Like, there were so many layers to it that I was so nervous about. You know what I mean? I was like, is this mom even going to like me? We've live. We've led such polar lives. What if we never relate on anything? And then I found myself in so many scenarios where even with Mokoa's grandma and stuff, it's not like I'm sitting with Moa's grandma and we relate on, like, loving the same thing or whatever. But hearing all about her life is so interesting to me. Same with Mo's mom. Hearing about her upbringing was so interesting to me. And then it's almost like within, as I was just like trying to learn, I would find these intricacies that I did relate to. You know what I mean? Just like, little different things that they had gone through in their lives that like, maybe I'm going through right now or like I could see myself going through that I would relate to. And then a bond was formed there. And at the end of the day, you guys all have one common denominator, and it's that you love this person, you know, like, you have that and. And he loves you is you guys. And there's a reason for that. So I would say, like, just reframe your effort and your goal from this. Like, your goal doesn't have to be like, we're gonna like, all the same things and totally bond over the same things. But, like, who knows, in the time of getting to know them, what you'll figure out that you will bond on. I guess.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's beautifully said. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel like I just farted words and I hope that was like.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so beautiful. Yeah. You can. You can always find connection. Yeah. Same thing with, like, Moses family too. It's like different cultures. There's different parts of the world growing up. But it's like that's what's. That is the beautiful thing about humanity is just coming together and like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Finding ways to connect in ways you never thought you would. And that's what's beautiful about family and unity and all that stuff.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, not to go back to like, planning is like my advice today. But like, maybe you plan an activity that you all go do together that, like, that everyone can do.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I. My mind goes to like an escape room and like, that's a little. Or like going to see a movie and then you all talk about the movie afterwards.

[Trisha Paytas]

So, like, caper was crazy, but I like that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, you know, just something where everyone is involved at the same level, and then you end up bonding because, like, you just. You know what I mean, you did the same thing. Or, like, even asking one of them, like, what's your favorite movie? Can we watch it? And then, like, watching it and talking about it after. They're going to be so excited to talk about their favorite movie. You might end up loving it. That might send you guys down this whole rabbit hole. Like, there's.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. The best way to connect to someone that you're finding it hard to connect to is, like, asking questions about themselves, because people love to talk about themselves.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

And you may find it interesting, you may not. But, like, know gets them to open up. And then maybe you find something to connect with and maybe you don't. But yeah, sounds like he has a lot of siblings and at the end, doesn't actually matter either because you just have him and that's what you're there for, to support him.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I really do feel like you can connect with that age gap and, like, figure that out. And I believe in you. So just do it, diva. Put yourself out there. Try the things. Because you guys all have that in common that you love him so well, you guys.

[Trisha Paytas]

Another episode of Not Loveline. Answering your call calls as the podcast started out to be. And we will answer more calls next week. Call us here. We love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love you so much.

[Trisha Paytas]

See you next one.

[Caller]

Bye.