Not Loveline Ep. 63 — “Making More Money Than Your Man 💲💰 + Did I Really Cheat?! 😭”

Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trisha Paytas
Date: March 23, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of Not Loveline delivers a classic “callathon,” with Tana and Trisha aiming to answer as many listener questions as possible—touching on topics from being a female breadwinner, alone time in relationships, body image in the age of social media, divorce and rediscovering yourself, mom-friend drama, military long distance, and what to do when your partner encourages you to cheat (!) and then flips the script.

The hosts bring their signature blend of humor, candor, and chaotic-but-heartfelt advice, bouncing between playful banter and deeply empathetic responses, while fiercely championing self-worth and the complexities of modern relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Being the Female Breadwinner in Relationships

([11:01–17:21])

• Pressure & Societal Judgment: Both Tana and Trisha discuss the stigma around women making more than their male partners. Tana notes:

  "I do think there’s a lot of societal, almost damnation, for being the breadwinner as a female. And…what society says about the man if he’s not. And I just don’t think that it’s fair or it’s true." (11:09–11:31)

• Resentment and Value:

  • To avoid resentment, the non-breadwinning partner should “pull their weight” in other ways, like emotional support, home life, childcare, etc.
  • Trisha shares that her husband Moses gave up his career to help her pursue hers, encouraging a 50/50 mentality:

    "I would gladly give him 50% because he’s built me up, built us up into what I have and everything now." (15:14–15:33)

• Communication and Balance:
  Tana reflects:

  “Making all the money doesn’t always mean you’re a great partner. …Just because you’re the breadwinner…it doesn’t mean you can just slack off and not help.” (16:02–16:24)

2. Feminism, Politics & First Gentlemen

([06:03–09:54])

• Playful caller asks if Tana should run for office & what the hosts think about a female president.

• Both lament the lack of female leadership in U.S. history. Tana hopes:

  "In our lifetime, I hope we see a First Man—a woman in office and a first man." (07:13–07:23)

• They muse on celebrity dream-candidates (Billie Eilish, Cardi B), the importance of humble beginnings, and the kind of leadership they'd admire.

3. Navigating Alone Time vs. Couple Time

([20:03–24:19])

• Caller feels guilty for planning a solo trip and her boyfriend’s hurt reaction.

• Trisha normalizes needing "me time":

  “He just wants to be with you…But you should definitely normalize getting your alone time if you want it to.” (24:09–24:17)

• Tana suggests incorporating independence and personal rituals into daily life, rather than relying on “band-aid” big trips.

4. Divorce, Rediscovery, & “Getting Your Pink Back”

([24:24–29:34])

• A listener going through a divorce after her partner comes out as bisexual and requests an open relationship.
• Both hosts urge taking time to rediscover yourself, develop hobbies, and not rushing into dating.
• Tana advises:

  “After something for so long, you have adapted to this version of yourself…Now you are in this era where you are, you know, diving into a completely new version of yourself.” (27:08–28:28)

5. Making Mom Friends & Navigating Mom Cliques

([31:06–34:54])

• Caller struggles to form connections with other moms.

• Trisha emphasizes patience, mutual interests, and not forcing friendships:

  "I desperately want a mom group too…I do all the things…but you can’t really force things like that. You’ll find it. Sometimes it just takes time, the right fit, the right activity.” (31:10–31:58)

• Tana suggests being more proactive, vulnerable, and “doing the awkward thing” to break the ice.

6. Body Image, Confidence, and the Pressure to Lose Weight

([37:18–44:29])

• Caller voices frustration with loving her body, yet feeling compelled by society to change:

  "Why do you think it is that I like how I look, but I have let society make me believe I need to lose weight and I’m unhealthy and disgusting?" (37:18–37:57)

• Trisha commiserates:

  "No matter what, no matter how confident or happy you are, those comments will always make you think, ‘Okay, I should’…It’s something we’re just conditioned to think about or do and it’s so annoying.” (37:57–38:43)

• They discuss the futility of chasing ever-changing beauty standards, and offer reframing exercise and food choices in terms of health and well-being, not aesthetics.

• Tana:

  “Society literally does not want us to feel beautiful. They want us to be this malleable consumer who hates ourselves.” (39:24–40:01)

7. Sick or Vulnerable Partners: Staying or Breaking Up?

([47:20–53:12])

• Listener wonders if she should break up so her boyfriend can have a “better” (non-sick) partner.

• Tana counsels:

  "A lifelong partner is not just there for the highs…A lifelong partner is there for the lows and for all of you and who you are." (48:27–50:26)

• Trisha adds:

  "The souls bond even closer in moments of stress or turmoil… If he’s trying to be there, you need it too, and you deserve it." (50:26–51:32)

8. “Did I Really Cheat?”—When Boundaries Get Blurred

([57:24–61:14])

• Caller’s (ex-)fiancé encouraged her to sleep with a friend, then called her a “disgusting cheater” and publicly shamed her online.

• Tana is blunt:

  "You are NOT a disgusting cheater. If someone asks you to do something and then you go do it, that is A, B, C, D. That is one plus one equals two. There is no miscommunication there.” (58:10-58:46)

• Both agree the ex’s behavior is manipulative, a red flag, and she should feel zero guilt.

9. Long Distance & Military Couples

([61:26–64:40])

• Caller’s in military, facing another 5 months of separation.

• Tana:

  “If you know for a fact that there is no one else out there and that this is your soulmate, then be as strong as you can. Use this time to start a side hustle, find friends, be passionate about as many other things…” (63:21–64:16)

• Both express admiration for military couples and acknowledge the unique strength this lifestyle requires.

10. Bath Hacks & Self-Care Rituals

([53:14–56:54])

• Callers ask for favorite bath hacks; the hosts gush about Lush bath bombs, setting a “mood” with music and candles, making small self-care rituals into moments of joy, and the importance of “romanticizing your life” especially during hard times.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Women as Breadwinners:

  "Anyone can make money. To me, that’s like, the least…as far as my checklist goes…I realized how much I value everything else, and money is actually the last for me because I’ll always make money. I’m so good at making money." — Trisha (12:44–13:25)

• On Body Image:

  "It’s just a never-ending cycle. Like, big butts are on, big butts are gross, like, it’s just…a body type should never be ‘in’." — Tana (40:01–40:10)

• On Alone Time vs. Feeling Guilty:

  "He just wants to be with you…But you should definitely normalize getting your alone time if you want it to.” — Trisha (24:09–24:17)

• On Divorce Discovery:

  “Who am I as a single person? Who am I as this new version of myself? What do I like to do?...that is the best way to get your circle back, I swear.” — Tana (28:28–29:13)

• On Toxic Relationship Dynamics:

  “Men are so stupid. I tried to be positive this whole episode…but this is one of those calls where all I know to say is how stupid. You asked her to do that…then you…try to ruin her life? What a narcissist!” — Tana (59:29–59:49)

Timeline of Important Segments

• [01:05]: Societal pressure on women as breadwinners
• [06:03]: Who would the hosts like to see as a female president?
• [11:01]: Deep dive into being a female breadwinner and division of labor in relationships
• [20:03]: Navigating solo trips and the guilt of needing space in relationships
• [24:24]: Life after divorce, rediscovering oneself, dating as a longterm partner newly single
• [31:06]: Making mom friends and the clique-iness of parenting groups
• [37:18]: Loving your body but still feeling social pressure to change it
• [47:20]: Illness and whether you “owe” breaking up to spare your partner
• [53:14]: Bath time hacks for self-care and relaxation
• [57:24]: Partner shaming you after encouraging open boundaries
• [61:26]: Coping with long-distance, especially in the military

Tone & Style

• Warm, supportive, irreverent, and unfiltered.
• They err on the side of radical empathy, but never lose their penchant for brutal honesty or playful sarcasm.
• Both hosts interweave their personal experiences with listener questions, always finding a balance between practical advice and affirming emotional validation.

Final Thoughts

“Not Loveline” Ep 63 is a quintessential episode: a rapid-fire, emotionally wide-ranging call marathon that doubles as a love letter to all the “girlies” and LGBTQ+ folks navigating the messy realities of modern love, self-worth, and friendship. Tana and Trisha remind listeners (with plenty of laughter) that their struggles are valid, their boundaries sacred, and their individuality worth celebrating—no matter what society, boyfriends, or even dear old Instagram might have to say.

For More:
Call into Not Loveline with your own dilemma, or visit their Patreon for extended episodes and behind-the-scenes Q&As.