B (1:55)

Weirdly, it's not. Like today it's weirdly helping me. The hardness of chair. I don't know.

A (2:00)

You should, like, lay in that format yes.

B (2:02)

Like, I don't. And it's so weird the way the spine works, because it's like I hurt myself down here, and then now, like, my whole spine up to my neck up to a headache. And I'm just like, I'm 95. But then I'm on the way here and my Rolls Royce is giving me a back massage, and I'm like, you know what? Like, it's get. There's some give and take here, right? It did help, honestly. I gave myself a little heated back massage. I'm ibuprofen maxing right now.

A (2:27)

Like, is that a thing? I never heard of that.

B (2:28)

Well, yeah. No, it's not.

A (2:30)

You made it.

B (2:30)

I. I can't stop adding maxing.

A (2:32)

I love that. Yeah, I can't.

B (2:33)

Like, like, right now we're long hair maxing.

A (2:35)

We are. You got the extension. I did.

B (2:38)

I relapsed on extensions. It was Trisha's wig. And it's funny because I saw the comments in the last episode and I felt so seen because I was literally sitting across from her. Like, I'm sure Jimmy cut out just my immense fart sucking. But I was just being like, this wig, this wig, this wig. It's so good. I want to go darker. I want long. Like, your wig was my final straw.

A (2:57)

It looks good and you did it perfect. Like, you did. Like, it is a little darker and you did the extent. It does look good. Like, honestly, it. I know. If you're like Trisha, don't tell her to not get extension while you're wearing a big lag. And I think you're absolutely right.

B (3:07)

26 inches. We're not helping me.

A (3:10)

And you're so real. It's amazing, but it is damaging.

B (3:13)

And, like, it definitely won't be, like, forever, you know, But I'm having fun right now. I just. I had that moment where I needed even. Like, I got white toes again yesterday. And, like, the hoe toes, you know,

A (3:23)

maybe I'll get that for our photo shoot we have next.

B (3:25)

Like, I just. There's certain little things where it's like, I love a fun toe color, and I was loving my natural bob and I was loving all these natural things, but I, like, I had to just. I had to get the spray tan, I had to get the white toes. I had to get the superficial girl.

A (3:38)

Yeah.

B (3:38)

And it's working. It's working for my mental health. Honestly, it does.

A (3:42)

I know. I had the relapse, too. I'm in my under consumpt era, and then I just splurged and bought everything that was shamrock from Dior. And yeah, it's all on display then I'm even hiding it from Moses anymore. Everything's just on display. And I moved everything. I had a whole Bridgerton display in my bedroom. Like all of it got pushed to the side and I was like, we're putting all Dior shamrocks and it's just like this hyper fixation of like Shamrocks and St. Patrick's Day this year has been like so alarming to everyone around me. They're like, are you okay? Like what is happening?

B (4:05)

That's so funny because I feel the exact opposite. If anything. You said in your tick tock you were like, I never really took took it there for St Patrick's Day. That's not what she said. But she said something like that and I was like, that is funny because you are like lucky girl and manifesting in luck and luck and luck and luck and luck.

A (4:20)

I love and I think I told you or maybe I told everyone at this point now, but I Aquaman we before we knew his gender, we wanted we thought about the name Lucky Lucky because the Britney Spears song Elvis was Lucky Jackson and Viva Las Vegas. But we thought it was too close to Lucky Blue. Yeah, that's what I was gonn. I know. But we do love the name Lucky.

B (4:35)

It is a cool name.

A (4:35)

And we went to Lucky's in Malibu today. Yeah, I'm really taking to the extreme because I was like we need to just do everything.

B (4:41)

Everything Lucky. No, I honestly, I love that it is your holiday. And then you said Luck of the Trish and I was like, come on like. And I'm needing that Trish luck today. I need my vertebrae.

A (4:52)

You look amazing. Like it's crazy. Your glow up is so insane. When I see videos of you as like you literally get Britney Spears right now and then right when you do that face it look like Britney Spears. I guess people like you did. I know just the laughing all of it. Well, people say you look like Millie Bobby Brown. If you say Millie Bobby Brown should play Britney Spears. But right now you are getting get

B (5:11)

you a friend Britney.

A (5:12)

No, it's crazy. Like it is crazy. I see old videos of you and you look obviously always beautiful but it's just like crazy. Like just your aura, your glow like everything.

B (5:20)

And the people were kind of right. Even my hair's starting to lighten up again because I was rinsing the toner out. But when I first got it done it was dark and like I looked in the mirror and I was like, I've been fighting against these comments for about three years now, and, like, maybe my hair should be a little darker. Like the people usually know before me.

A (5:37)

That's true. Because I think, okay, but it's also still blonde. I think when people are like, go dark, we think, like, brown, black. But this is still blonde. And I think we're so blonde. Like dysmorphia, where it's just like. We think this is dark, but this is very blonde. It's just not that white blonde, playboy. But it's gorgeous.

B (5:53)

And when she first did it, it was super dark, and we accidentally toned it a little too dark, and I was kind of freaking out. And then after a day, I was like, wait, this who I'm meant to be. Like, now, if anything, I want to tone it back darker. I don't know what that means.

A (6:04)

So, yeah, it would be beautiful. Like, a little. I love it. This color.

B (6:07)

Your wig. Your wig, really? And it's funny because I got that wig made too. I texted your guy, and now we have them matching, so I'm so excited. I don't know what it's coming, but we should definitely do a whole moment. This is a whole matching, even for our Vegas show. That could be fun.

A (6:20)

Just come on. Brown long wigs. I was like, where's the blonde?

B (6:22)

Yeah, I guess that's true.

A (6:23)

I did that once in Trishma's. I came on a brown wig for the meet and greets. And I think people. They didn't say it, but I could tell they were just like, oh, this is a different wig. And I was like, I think they wanted the blonde trash. And I should say I do that

B (6:34)

too, though, where I convince myself that, like, my. I guess my brand almost my business, like, the bleach and tone and just everything has something to do with blonde that, like, because that is a real thing. Like, hair is a part of. Have you've seen all the hair theories? Like, if the Kardashians want to make a change in their pr, they change their hair. Like it's. There's a real thing and, like, hair in aligning with business. Okay. Girl, boss town. And I'm butchering it, though.

A (7:00)

It's working. I feel like this is, like, a huge rebrand. Even though it's just a darker blonde. It does. For some reason, you look at you and you just feel more mature.

B (7:07)

Yeah. My main inspo was Addison Rae. Honestly, I. I just, like, love her tone. Like, the warm. Like, there's something about a warm tone and, like, a Little bit that I like. I just love. I don't know.

A (7:18)

Oh, Addison's the blueprint for everything.

B (7:20)

She really is. And it's funny because I. I showed my hair girl, and then she dyed my hair, and it was, like, similar. Not perfectly on the nose. Addison Rae. I wasn't trying to, like, cosplay or copy her fully, but just a little more similar. And then the neck day, Addison had dyed her hair red, and I was like, the universe knew. Like, she felt. She felt a tickle in her spine. These were about to copy her, and she knew, and I was like, that is so funny.

A (7:45)

Oh, my God. That does. That happened to me all the time in school. I would, like, know when girls were matching. They'd always wear, like, the same, like, Byron Tiger sweatshirt. And so I would. I got the same outfit as them. They had Byron Tiger sweatshirt, orange plaid pants, and they would wear it every Friday for game day. And so I was, like, literally his head. And they were 10. And so then I finally convinced my mom to buy one. It was kind of expensive. It was like, 40 bucks for each thing. But I finally got it. I was like, I'm gonna go matching. So I went matching on a Friday, and they were kind of like. You could tell. They were, like, annoyed. So then the next Friday, we're gonna match again. And they wore it on a Wednesday. They all switched to Wednesday.

B (8:13)

That is traumatizing.

A (8:14)

Isn't it crazy? So when you said that. Not that Addison was doing that, obviously, but, like, it was. It was like. Yeah, it was. It was one of those things that

B (8:20)

was so even, like, in Mean Girls, when they're, like, on Wednesdays, we wear pink. That was such a thing in school. And, like, a clicky thing, really, in

A (8:27)

your school, in real life, just, like,

B (8:28)

a clicky thing of, like, certain girls, like, would match or, like, if I was matching with a friend. You know what I mean? And then it's like, it was a social hierarchy of, like, oh, they're copying this person. And none of it was real, but it all felt so real.

A (8:39)

That's one thing I was, like, scared to ever have, like, friends or even. Even now in, like, adult life, I'm thinking I'm scared to say anything because I don't want, like, rejection. I'm like, do whatever. But I do love to match. So we were talking about Holly Madison right before this, and I was saying, like, she's another one that's just, like, so down to match. Our first clap ever was before I had the podcast, before anything. We just ate McDonald's in my pink Rolls Royce, and she had an outfit. I've been copying Holly Madison since day one. And every time I would comment, I'd get an outfit. And anyways, she knew I had this, like, purple sweater. And then she. Do you want to match? And I was like, oh, my gosh,

B (9:06)

she is so healing.

A (9:07)

The ultimate beautiful, popular girl wants to match with me. I was like, gay.

B (9:12)

She knows. She is so. And what we all have, like, the dynamic we have is so healing. You know what I mean? Because it's like, it'd be so easy for society to let us, even the three of us, you, me, and Holly, like, not do that. And we're like, no, we're all gonna match, and we're all gonna, like, you know, play into it, because you need those friends in life who want to match with you, because that's what girlhood is. That's like.

A (9:30)

That's a damn.

B (9:31)

Like, ever since I met you, that was, like, the one thing I was like, no, I show her, like, there's a friend out there who wants to match every time, and.

A (9:36)

Yeah.

B (9:36)

Who wants to, like, do all the things.

A (9:38)

You are a light. I do think that every time I see you in person, no matter how. Because we were talking about how, like, just the time change has, like, thrown everything off, and, like, everything just feels out of whack. And I feel like I go, like, I've been going a little crazy the past couple days, and then it's like, when I see you in person, you have, like, such, like, this light. You know what I mean? And I'm always like, you.

B (9:53)

You. Like, I. It's. What we have together is very special

A (9:55)

because I thought, like. And then when we're in pain and I was like, oh, my God, did I just, like, forced you to be here and, like, sit through this thing with, like, back pain? But it's even.

B (10:01)

It's one of those things where this morning I was in excruciating pain, truly, right? And then I Ibuprof maxed, and then I started to. I'm still in a lot of pain, honestly. But there. There is something about, like, just, like, the levity of being here and, like, what we do that, like, is distracting from that, or, like, even if there's a lot of times where I come here, one of us are, like, going through something off camera that we're, like, not talking about, whether it's, like, a family thing or a friend thing or just anything, you know, we're going through some work things, life, and you And I will, like, vent an hour before the podcast about all the, like, things we're going through, and then we'll be able to just do this. And it is, like, a lovely. You know, it just, like, I always say I enter the Trisha world, and it, like, distracts me from anything else that's going on.

A (10:43)

It's very meditative, I think, also, too, because we're, like, not on our phones. Like, we're rarely on our phones. So it's like meditation.

B (10:49)

I can't. My back.

A (10:50)

I can't move.

B (10:51)

I literally can't move because of my back, and this is all I can do. But, like, I always say that.

A (10:55)

Yeah.

B (10:56)

That I. I get off my phone and you and I just sit and talk, and we, like, trauma dump. And then we giggle and then we, like, talk about whatever. Where Pamela Anderson's look at a gas station in 2001. And, like, to have that is. Everyone needs that friend, you know, it's very.

A (11:10)

That. I know. I was in Malibu this morning. I literally thought of you because I was just like, what if I just see Adam Sandler here? Do I call Tana? Do I take a picture or not? Like, sometimes I think, like, oh, no, I wouldn't take a picture, because I feel like that would make you feel worse. Because I feel like I can't move.

B (11:23)

And I'm gonna get there. I'm gonna get there. If you ever meet him and you even remotely think that you should not take a photo with him, because that would make me feel worse, I'm going to have to admit somewhere because I

A (11:34)

feel like if I saw you, like, take a picture, I guess I know what you mean. I guess.

B (11:37)

No, do it for us. What do you mean? Like, are you kidding me? I'm like, that's my girl. That's my sister. She met him. Like, we're close.

A (11:44)

I guess then, you know, you never want to be that person, to be like, oh, my. My friend loves you. Yeah, but, like, I mean, I love him too, but I love him too, but I. But you know how annoying it is to be like, who talked about it recently? Someone talked about recently.

B (11:56)

Jacob.

A (11:57)

Lordy. He said he hates when people be like, my mom loves you. My sister loves you. You know, it's never I love you.

B (12:01)

And I was like, adam Sandler does not. Like, he would love it.

A (12:04)

Like, do you know, Tana, like, you

B (12:06)

have to say, I'm. I, Trisha, love.

A (12:07)

I mean, I do love you, but I feel like I loved him. I feel past tense. Like, I was in a Hyper fixation. And you're in the hyper fixation.

B (12:13)

Yes, I am.

A (12:14)

For a while.

B (12:15)

Don't do it all. Are you kidding me? I don't. Because you know what it is too, is I think sometimes with certain friendships, and I've definitely experienced these in my life, where another girl or another person harbors a competitive environment. Or like, you have those friends who are, like, jealous or like, trying to one up. You are trying to do one of those things. And then maybe if it was like. And obviously as I've gotten older, I have definitely, like, rid of all of that. It was more of a younger thing. But, like, if that was our relationship. Right. And you were like, look, look what I did today. Oh, I hope you have a horrible day. I'm better than you because I met him. Like, okay. But like, no, you'd just be so excited. So I'd be so excited.

A (12:51)

Yeah, I guess that's my warped way. Yeah, that's like my warped way of thinking. Because I just remember again from high school, just girls being so awful. Like, they would take a picture with, like, the guy I had a crush with and put up in their locker.

B (13:00)

Yeah.

A (13:00)

And they'd be like, look. And I'd be like, I wanted a picture with him.

B (13:03)

Yeah. Like, if it's in that way where it's to make you feel like.

A (13:06)

Yeah.

B (13:07)

It's like, well, we have such a celebratory friendship where. And such a connection to where I would literally. If you took a selfie with him, I would feel as though I took a selfie with him.

A (13:16)

Not, like, do I call you and tell you, like, where he is. You know what I mean? Like, if we were at, like, a thing and like, how you. But also, we didn't. In my head, I'm just going through these. Like, I made up the.

B (13:24)

I love some. The people say maladaptive daydreaming is what it's called. Like, I'm always in a fake scenario.

A (13:31)

In my head, I was like, he could. We were playing literally in a sandbox with like 3 year olds. Like, he could show up. He could be here, even though his children are like, adults. But. Yeah, but.

B (13:40)

And I would never. I think because I've had that happen where someone calls me and they're like, adam Sandler's here. I'm not getting in the car and I'm not driving there because I feel like I just. I always say this, but, you know, I don't want to stalk him. I want the universe. If it's meant to happen, it will Happen. If not, like, there is just something so beautiful about being a fan of someone.

A (13:56)

You know, I did that one time, Manal from Cat's Eye DM me and said, we're rehearsing right next to your dancer auditions. And I got in the car. I was. I had no plans to be at my. The auditions because Cedric was doing it. I got in the car. I was like, in Beverly Hills, and I drove all the way to, like, go see them at the thing. I'm like, but they told you.

B (14:12)

They told you.

A (14:13)

Well, but I wasn't already there. It was just like, oh, we're rehearsing next to your dancer auditions.

B (14:17)

And they're like, oh, you're like, see you in five.

A (14:19)

I'm actually gonna be there soon. And I was like, I don't know. Sometimes I will, I guess it's maybe different, I guess. And she like, no, because she told you.

B (14:26)

That's like, that's normal. You weren't. That was normal behavior, I guess.

A (14:29)

Okay.

B (14:29)

For sure.

A (14:30)

I don't know.

B (14:32)

No. This is just so random. Were you and I Talking about Shia LaBeouf at some point recently?

A (14:36)

I've been talking about him with a lot of people. So it could be.

B (14:39)

I think we were.

A (14:39)

I don't know if we were, but I have been.

B (14:41)

Well, because I was going to New Orleans for the college show, and I went and Trisha, I swear, also, I just have to say. So I spoke at Tulane in New Orleans, and it went really well. It was amazing. But I was super nervous before. Why? Because I think that there's something to be said about when we do a show, we sell tickets and people buy them with their money, and we know that they want to be there for that reason. So you have that leeway of knowing, like, I'm going out to a stage of people who paid to see me. You know, you're not walking out to a crowd of people who might not want to see you. Right. And something about the tickets being free and, you know, like, I. I just.

A (15:20)

Were they free? Are you sure?

B (15:21)

I think they pay you a flat fee. And then the tickets are free for the students.

A (15:25)

Oh, okay.

B (15:26)

I think that's how I thought they

A (15:28)

still had to pay. I don't know. But you could be. I thought students ought to pay.

B (15:30)

I think that's how mine went.

A (15:31)

Okay. And then you could be right.

B (15:33)

So I was living in fear of this image of walking out to. It's all, like, straights and, like, oh, my God.

A (15:40)

Did you meet the. I met a couple straights, like, the student body presidents are like straights. And you're just like, yes. You're so scared. Did you meet some beforehand that you're like, oh, no, I did, but they

B (15:46)

were girls, so I think it made me feel better.

A (15:48)

But most of mine were girls, but there was like three straight guys, and I was just like, yeah, are you gonna make fun of me?

B (15:52)

Yes. And there were a few straights in the front who I was like, whatever. But beforehand I like, had this mental image of just walking out to a bunch of people who didn't give up a. You know, or we're going to like, mimit or whatever. And so what I did was I went on Tick Tock and I watched a bunch of videos of you speaking in Albuquerque. And I channeled. I was just like, trisha, like, I'm channeling this energy. Like, I'm manifesting my night to go the same way. And it worked. And it did. Yeah.

A (16:16)

You have to. That's the thing when your mindset was like, all these people, like, don't give up. You have to think the opposite. I always, like, you just really have to think, like, everyone is here. For me, I'm here for a reason. Because what gave me the confidence at college? Speaking things that they told me. Like, CA told me, like, they basically give them a list of speaking speakers that could possibly come, and then they get to pick who they want. So they'll give them like 50 people. So the fact that. That two lanes chose you, the fact that, like, shout out Albert Cookie chosen, it's like, it makes you feel really special. You're like, all the people you could have gotten. Yeah, you wanted me to be here.

B (16:45)

It was so cute. Even the girl I was speaking with, she'd never done it. And I was giving her a pep talk. I was like. And it made me feel so purposeful. I was like, you go out there and you find your friend in the crowd and then you feel okay and like, like, whatever. And we. I was, like, talking her up to do it. And, like, I did so much with Brooke. I haven't done solo stuff in so long. And Brooke was my comfort. Right.

A (17:04)

Yeah.

B (17:04)

I knew that I was going on stage with someone that I knew that would, like, pick it up for me if I dropped the ball. Like, we carried each other on each other's backs, and I'll forever be grateful for that. But now in this era, I was like, I don't have my Brooke. I don't have my comfort person to, like, fall back on on this stage.

A (17:20)

Like, yeah, yeah.

B (17:21)

So I was super nervous, but then

A (17:22)

I did it confident.

B (17:23)

Yeah. But then I went out there and I was like, I'm going on a tour. You look great. It was so fun.

A (17:28)

No, I texted you right after you texted me or I texted you whatever. And I remember being like, that's all I want to do. Because it was like, I love performing, I love singing, I love dancing. I do get nervous with it and I'm not that great at it. One thing I think I am good at is talking. Like I do think I like had that gift and so do you obviously.

B (17:42)

Or yappers. We're professional.

A (17:43)

Yeah. By the time they're like, oh, you have 15 minutes because it was a hard. Did they give you a hard hour? And then someone's like, okay, you gotta wrap it up or read longer.

B (17:49)

It was a little longer, but they. It definitely was supposed to be an hour. And then we just couldn't shut up.

A (17:53)

It was definitely like 45 minute marks. Have 15 minutes left and we'll take. I mean that I can stay all night because truly I didn't have a flight till the next day. I'm like, I could literally stay another hour. And then you can only do an hour. And I was like, I want to do these forever. Because it was like so fun. All the students were like, I mean, maybe it was like that with yours too. Like every single thing you said, it was like a cheers.

B (18:10)

They were just so sweet and supportive and like, it was cool because I haven't done a lot of this on stage. Obviously. Like when I was doing canceled tours, I was telling crazy stories, which was super fun. And I still told like a crazy story or two on stage for this one. But I also got to talk a lot about sobriety and childhood and Vegas and the book and our relationship and all these different things about where my life is currently at. And it felt a lot more motivational, which was. That was kind of the big switch I was looking for after canceled. I was like, I want to feel like I am using a lot of my things that I went through. And instead of just everything being hehe haha. I was so drunk and on coke and all these that in the sky, like more being like, you know, here's. Here's where I am now and here you can get here too. And you can rewrite your life at any point.

A (18:54)

Oh, I got chills. My. It's like purpose.

B (18:56)

Cool. Yeah. Felt it just felt so purposeful and aligned with like where I'm at and who I'm wanting to Be.

A (19:02)

And, ah, you look gorgeous. I loved your little stripes.

B (19:06)

You look so good.

A (19:07)

I loved them. They look so good.

B (19:09)

It was just. It felt. But I swear, had I not watched those videos of you, I think I would have been having a panic attack. And then, weirdly, I think you and I were talking about Shia at some point because he's, like, being messy, doing his thing. I don't know. I don't know the details, but I just know that. That he did a lot of awful. He's definitely awful, right?

A (19:26)

He's definitely awful. Yes. And he still is, obviously. In New Orleans, he got, like, arrested twice in the past week. And he's another one that uses God as a crutch a lot, which I got. I'm Christian for sure, but he's super Catholic, and he will use it as a shield to be like, well, God will forgive me, and stuff like that. And it's like, well, you can't be an awful person.

B (19:44)

Yeah, just say, God will forgive me.

A (19:46)

He was abusive. He's been physically abusive, too, to his ex.

B (19:48)

To FKA Twix. Yes. And she's everything. Yeah, awful. So we were making jokes, like, oh, my God, what if we run into him? Like, Kyle and I can. Kept saying that. Whatever. I go an hour and a half out of New Orleans to a bayou, to a. Like. Like, in the middle of nowhere. I'm talking. I. I was peeing on, like, the side of the road. Like, I couldn't find a bathroom. Like, well, actually, there was a toilet, but there were so many bugs and hornets in it. It's my biggest fear. So I decided to just pee in, like, a bush hornet at the place would be crazy. Yes. I. And everyone was like, it's just a bug. I was like, it's the size of a Chihuahua. But, like. And so we're there alone, we take this private boat tour with this, like, fun Southern guy. Super funny. We're seeing alligators. We're, like, doing. It was. It was kind of scary. The boat was really small, and the guy was, like, going fast and. But it was fun still. It was, like, very funny vlog, too. Very simple life. Me and Ashley.

A (20:39)

Like, did you do a vlog?

B (20:40)

Yes.

A (20:40)

Is it up?

B (20:41)

No, it's not.

A (20:42)

Okay. I can't wait to see it.

B (20:43)

But no, it is a funny one, because it's like, why the are me and Ashley in the bayou? And thank you, DraftKings Casino, for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. DraftKings is changing the game with Florida Flex Spins. New and exclusive to DraftKings Casino Flex spins let you choose how to use your spins across more than 100 slots. New players pay $5 and get 500 flex spins. Claim 50 spins a day for 10 days. Then you choose how to play them across your favorite games like Huff and More, Pop, Cash Eruption and more.

A (21:17)

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B (21:53)

had had a lot of bad experiences in New Orleans together. So we like. And we did. We successfully rewrote it. And I love Lil Wayne so I went and saw like where he grew up and like his murals there cuz he's from there.

A (22:03)

And like did you see Addison's hometown?

B (22:04)

No, I did not see Addison's hometown. I but I did see Lil Wayne and that was enough for me. But anyways, we get off the boat and we go into the gift shop and there's no one else in the gift shop shop by the Bayou Tours and I turn around and it's just Shia LaBeouf dead alone in this place. Like just US and Shia LaBeouf.

A (22:24)

That's how powerful your words are. Because if you were just saying like what if we see Shia LaBeouf is crazy.

B (22:28)

I really should have been saying what

A (22:30)

if we see Lily like that. But that's I swear if you say that it'll happen. Like, I feel like you need to say that and it'll happen.

B (22:37)

Yes. And it's like just the way you

A (22:39)

did it without Sandler. I feel like you had him manifested him so many times.

B (22:41)

I already manifested Lil Wayne in a different point in my life. And like honestly, you met him already? Well, no, we just like messaged a bunch like we gonna meet and then I pussied out. Wait, why? Because,

A (22:55)

well, I mean that's your ultimate, right? That's what? Your ultimate.

B (22:58)

We were we were gonna meet in a. Like, we weren't meeting for lunch.

A (23:02)

Okay. But even more. Back in the day, I feel like that'd be even more the reason. You would have been like, hell yeah.

B (23:07)

I know, but I just like. I don't know, it's funny, I just. I just filmed something long form, actually telling this story of him. And like, I might cut it. I don't know. Wait, why? I don't know. Because, guys, I. The point, I guess my point was like, just, he is one of my, like, idols. Like, his music changed my life. He was the first musician Bieber, but like, right there, where I was like obsessed, you know, like, wow. Like, saved up all my money to have nosebleed seats at his concert. Like, his posters on my wall. Like, I know every word to every Lil Wayne song, every mixtape ever.

A (23:37)

Oh, I didn't know. I didn't know that.

B (23:38)

And I was just like, I'm fanned out. Like, I don't want to go, like, humanize you. And then like, what if. You know, like the experience and like a lot of times rappers like, you know what. What ends up happening is very. They're not trying to wife you up, you know, and sometimes there are scenarios

A (23:55)

where they are going in knowing that you still. Because there are certain people. Michael Jackson, for sure, he was like, I just want to hook up with you. I'd been like, hell yeah, let's do it.

B (24:01)

True. There. There are. But I don't know what it was.

A (24:03)

It was just.

B (24:04)

And every time it was like very later, like I was in Miami and just like super hungover. Like, it just like the vibes were not like, you know, I was just like, I'm not gonna do it this. And. And honestly, I was face tuning so much at that time that I probably would have shown up and he would have been like, who is this?

A (24:20)

No, I don't think.

B (24:21)

Zooming out on my Instagram sim. Green triangle.

A (24:25)

I don't know what a sim is. I know the game, but what does it mean? Like, green triangle.

B (24:29)

So in the game Sims, they have the green triangle above their head.

A (24:31)

What that means.

B (24:32)

But I'm saying, like, I don't know. That's just like. No, it just like it's. That's how they walk around.

A (24:37)

They all just have one. They're all like humans with green things on their head.

B (24:39)

All of them. But I would face tune myself into a literal, literal sim. I might as well have had the green triangle.

A (24:45)

I'm sure he's been with some not attractive people. Not that you weren't. But, like, if you. You know, I always thought, like, okay, I've put it in my perspective, like, fat. I'm always like, oh, nobody wants to be with a fat person. And people would literally, I'd. Back in the day, don't ever, like, put yourself down in front of people because you'll get, like, weird responses. But I used to always be like, oh, I'm like, I know I'm fat or whatever. And then literally be like, I've been with fatter. And you're like, okay, period. You know? So I guess I was putting that in the same. And it was rappers. I'll tell you why. We've been with a lot of rappers. I'm not Jeffree star. You know what I mean? But I mean, love, love. And he says. He says it proudly, which, I'm good for him. But, like, I. I've been with a few and it is fun.

B (25:20)

Like, it's not. It's not that I didn't have fun in my rapper.

A (25:23)

Mine was not fun. My rapper era was not fun. I had, like, two, and I was like, this is not fun.

B (25:26)

Yeah, it's. It's. You just feel very. Like, anytime I was ever with any rappers, I like. It's like I'd be sitting in the studio watching them, like, mix the same song and, like, for hours, and then it's, like, fun.

A (25:37)

I just, like, went to their house, like, 3am but then.

B (25:39)

But then we were just going to do that. You know what I mean? It's like, I don't know.

A (25:42)

At least you got studio time. I would have loved to have sat in the studio and, like, been a part of something else, you know, I

B (25:47)

wasn't a part of it. Like, I was just a spectator. Like, truly, like.

A (25:50)

But that's even crazier than that. You. Because we both had that era of, like, hooking up with any. Not any. I was okay with anybody, but just randoms. But this is your idol and, like, someone you like, love so much. I'm really.

B (26:01)

Yeah, I know it really goes against everything that you would think, but I just, like, I pussied out. And honestly, I truly think I would have shown up and, like, he would have been like, who is this? Like, I was really like, Was that why my Instagram presence? No, no, the main why was that every time, just like, that things were meant to happen. Like, every time we had plans or something, it was either ended up being too late or I was with my friends. I remember there was this one night I was with a Bunch of my friends. And I was just like, I won't say who. I'll save them because they're famous. But they were kind of being like, it's 3am you're not going there alone. And there was another time I was in Miami and I was the most hungover I'd ever been in my life. This was after. This trip was the first time I ever decided to go sober. And I got an iv. And the IV nurse was a guy and his wife was a fan, and he was FaceTiming her the whole, like, time and making me take photos and say hi and sign this and do this. But I'm like, on my DeathBed getting this IV, and it was just, like, super strange. And then he leaves. I immediately start drinking again. I have the IV. I'll never forget this. I was like, on FaceTime with Lil Wayne. And I went to go to, like,

A (27:07)

you were FaceTime, but I can't trust it enough. I look like.

B (27:13)

And I remember I wanted to, like, show him my. And there was a cotton ball from the IV on my ass with, like, blood on it from the iv, like, afterwards. And I just hung up. And I was like, I'm not going like that.

A (27:25)

Yeah, okay, that's valid. And I think crazy.

B (27:27)

I saved him for sure. Like, he. He deserved better, truly. Like, at that time.

A (27:31)

How old is he?

B (27:32)

I don't know.

A (27:33)

Is he older than me?

B (27:34)

I don't. I. I don't think.

A (27:36)

I feel like he's been around for

B (27:37)

so long saying all this right now. I think it's the back pain. 43. 43, 43 minutes. Oh. Oh, my God. I was like. And it's just me saying all these things. Oh, my God. Louie's 43. Okay.

A (27:50)

I mean, no, look, it's like, that's not bad, obviously. Like, celebrities, whatever. I was dating, like, 52 year olds. It's not bad. I was wondering, I don't know if he was closer to your age or my age.

B (27:56)

Yeah, no, because he looks good and

A (27:57)

he's always looked good. That's why I was like, oh, I wonder.

B (27:59)

He really. I think he'll always look good his whole life. And he's so talented. He's just the most talented person alive to me. Like, I don't know. I can't believe I'm saying all this. I really think it's my back pain is getting to my brain and I'm just feeling too crazy.

A (28:11)

I don't think he said anything too crazy crazy. But that's so interesting. And it's it's good. I mean it's not like you guys ever hooked up or you took. There's no bad story, you know what I mean? For sure.

B (28:18)

And I think that, I think I'm happy about it because I think. Let's say I did go that night in Miami, right?

A (28:22)

Yeah.

B (28:22)

I think now I look back and be like, you're an alcoholic, you are a mess. I would have been saying crazy. I remember there was one time I called him at like 7am Because I'd been up all night like doing. And I called him and I was like, I just woke up, I'm gonna go to the gym. Like I was trying to pretend like I had just woken up at 7am versus like going to sleep.

A (28:40)

Yes, yes.

B (28:41)

And like just things like that. I think now I would look back and be like, oh my God, you gave your like idol the ick. Like that is you know, so real.

A (28:49)

I feel like the idols I've met like post everything, post like just being normal, you know, like getting help, getting treatment, all this stuff like that. I, I think I had to meet them at this time in my life versus when I was like single. Because when I was single I would hit on literally everybody. Like it didn't matter if you were like married, Mormon, whatever. I was just like, I want to sleep with you. Every being so weird and so out of control for no reason. That's such low self esteem. So now meeting my idols where I'm like obviously very happily married and just also like immensely well is so much better. Cuz now I'm not like going up to them being like oh my God, you know, it's like I'm just a human connecting with a human that I really respect.

B (29:23)

I like couldn't agree with that more. Like even like Chelsea Handler, I always talk about that. Like she's a, she loves her party favors and she loves to drink and she loves to do all the like fun things and stuff. And I know for a fact had I met her at an earlier age in my life, I would have been like, I can keep up with her. And like I couldn't, you know, like she can have five martinis and she's still normal. Like she's one of those type of people where she carries herself very well on, on the substances and the things and I still drink probably if I could carry myself well. But I know I would have tried to like show her that I could drink like her too and like embarrass the out of myself. Yeah.

A (30:00)

So now knowing her at this stage of your life. It's like, oh, you're just like so. Yeah, I do think that is totally real. Even like career opportunities. I like I could only have these now. Whereas like when I was younger, I think I told the story at the University of New Mexico where it's like I was casted on like Two and a Half Men for like it was like a two episode thing and I just didn't show up because I was waiting for this guy I was hooking up with to come over. So I just like I was casted, I was ready to go and I just like didn't show up. And I was like, I was blacklisted probably from all those shows because I just wouldn't show up to sets.

B (30:26)

Yeah.

A (30:26)

Where you're like booked for like a speaking role and you're just like what? So obviously all these things now I can only do now because I'm like,

B (30:32)

like that is so real. They're mentally unwell. Like the not showing up and like the just like.

A (30:37)

Thank you so much to Better Help for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline March is International Women's Day. We're going to be celebrating the women in your life. Women go through a lot of things with hormonal changes, births, postpartum.

B (30:51)

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B (31:50)

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A (32:01)

Thank you so much to better help for sponsoring today's episode. Isn't that crazy? Like, I was 24. It's like, what do you mean? You're just not gonna, like, show up to a job you need to a show? That's huge.

B (32:11)

There was Dixie d' Amelio had a music video that she cast me in, and this was at the peak of her music. And it was like. It was like, tick tock. Like, it was the peak at the time. Like, the d' Amelios were at, like, their biggest rise. And it was an honor that I was going to be able to be in this music video. And I partied all night until, like, 5 a. I got home at 5am and I remember I had glam at 7, so I just stayed up until 7. I get a spray tan, I get my nails done, I get my hair done, I get styled. I'm completely ready. And then obviously, like, because I partied all night, it's like, now setting in. I'm like, wait, I feel horrible. I'm gonna throw up. I'm like, I have so much anxiety. Like, I didn't blow. Like, I just. Like, I felt horrible. Like, I felt horrible. And I remember ever my whole team was standing around me and they're like, tana, you have to go. You have to. You have to go. And I look at everyone. I'm like, I absolutely cannot go. I'm so sorry. And I. I rip off my eyelashes. And that's like, the sign in girlhood and in whatever for, like, it's over. I'm not done. And I rip off my eyelashes. And all 10 people gasp. They were like, oh, my God. Like, she's not going. Like, we can't. Like, whatever. And they all just left, and I didn't go. And then Paige would call that a Dixie Day. So then, like, for the rest of our time, like, if I was bailing on something, she was like, are you gonna, Dixie? Like, are you gonna. I never went.

A (33:21)

And, like, you know what the video was for? What song was?

B (33:23)

I don't actually remember what song it was for. I know that they were all at the Saddle Ranch. I know Nessa Barrett was in it. I know. Like, and it would have been like, a fun, iconic timestamp of that time,

A (33:32)

but I was just such.

B (33:32)

I was so unwell. I Was such an addict and such a mess and all those things. But the fact that things continued to happen, that Paige now had a turn. Are we Dixieing today?

A (33:43)

When's the last time you had one of those?

B (33:45)

A Dixie day? Never. Never since I've been sober have I dixied anything that's.

A (33:49)

I know you go through those for sure. I did, too. I would. I would have days where I would just, like, cry my makeup. I'd get full glam and just, like, cry it off. Since 2019, I was, like, 31 years old, and it's just like. Yeah, I think you life happens when it's like, you're ready for it. Like, things happen for you when you're ready for it. Marriage and kids. For me, I'm like, I wanted at 20, which would have been so crazy. I was like, I need kids at 20 years old.

B (34:09)

That's so wild, sad that, like, we were trying, you know, we were getting glam and we wanted to, like, you know, but, like, like, just we'd been through so much and we were, you know, in such a messy place and hurting ourselves that, like, you could try as hard as you can, but you'd still have the days where you'd falter because you weren't well enough. Theoretically, I'm speaking for myself, but I wasn't well enough to be in the position I was in. I always, like, think of that as such a blessing that people, like, stuck beside me through all of that because, like, that was one of the main reasons I got sober. Where I woke up and I was like, you. You wanted this life more than anything, and you earned it. Like, and you worked hard for it. And then you've let it go now and you're, like, not working for. You're not waking up every day. There's someone out there that's hungrier than you for this space right now. Like, I just feel so blessed that, like, people stuck beside, like, through that time.

A (34:56)

Yeah. I feel like having people help a lot. I don't know if I really had

B (34:59)

anyone, but even just our fans is what I'm saying. Like, just like, that they were like, you know, loved us still through it, like, when we weren't at our best, you know?

A (35:07)

Yeah. When people come up to me, like, I was with you on the kitchen floor or I see on Tick Tock, like, this is how I feel now, like old kitchen floor videos, and you're just like, oh, like, it's good to, like, resonate with people or people I can see and help you through it. And it's just a cool.

B (35:18)

It's funny that you have kitchen floor and I have dirty door like that. They, like, rhyme. Like, mine was the dirty door.

A (35:22)

Was it because you had a dirty door behind you?

B (35:24)

Yeah. Like, when I was still living with my parents, obviously the house was just, like, filthy.

A (35:27)

I didn't know this floor. No.

B (35:30)

So me. Oh, you didn't Narcissist. Okay.

A (35:33)

No. But I know everything about you. I always am. Like, I saw your bleach and toad. I saw this. Like, I always see old clips that I see. I didn't know about dirty door.

B (35:38)

So, like, the door behind me and all of my, like, oldest YouTube videos was super dirty, just like the rest of my house. And people, like, will be like, I have been here since the dirty door. Like, they'll always say that.

A (35:47)

Wow. Why was it dirty?

B (35:49)

I don't know.

A (35:50)

Like, was it, like, your hand prints or was it just, like, no one? Yes. Are you supposed to clean doors? I never clean a door.

B (35:56)

I'm thinking handprints. I think I had definitely discovered foundation around that time. And I'm thinking, what was your face

A (36:02)

against the door like?

B (36:02)

I'm thinking more fingers. I'm thinking more, like, just dirt. And, like, we weren't. No one was cleaning them.

A (36:07)

I feel like I've never seen a dirty door. And I don't know if we clean our doors. So I'm like, how does it get

B (36:11)

dirty my doors now? So it is very interesting. Like, I don't know how the door

A (36:15)

got floor and dirty door. That's our album.

B (36:18)

Honestly.

A (36:19)

So funny.

B (36:20)

That's, like, really cute.

A (36:21)

We love it.

B (36:22)

We should do. That'd be cute. Like, merch. That'd be a cute shirt for our Vegas show.

A (36:28)

Love it. I think it's so cute. Yeah, it's always cool. Full circle moments in and out is

B (36:33)

in front of us.

A (36:34)

We should do a pause.

B (36:35)

Should. I think it's funny? Because I never am. Like, you. You were always like, let's pause for the hot food. And you put that in me. And now I'm like. Like, let's pause.

A (36:43)

Do you want to pause? Okay, you tell me.

B (36:45)

Are you down?

A (36:45)

Yeah, I. I always want to pause.

B (36:46)

Okay, we're pausing. We're so back. I'm so full. That was amazing. That was utterly just, like, in and out. I feel so sad that it's not all over the globe.

A (36:56)

Yeah, it is kind of sad. I think they opened one in Asheville, and that line is, like, five hours long every day in Nashville.

B (37:02)

Yeah, I mean, I get it. Though, it's.

A (37:04)

It just is.

B (37:04)

It's real meat. I feel like a lot of times, and I've been seeing a lot of discourse online right now about how McDonald's is. Is human meat. No, I've heard this too.

A (37:13)

There's just no way someone else. People have been trying to convince me this for the past, like, couple weeks that there's, like, human meat. There's no way McDonald's would serve at humans.

B (37:20)

I do feel like, and this might be a hot take, but I've been watching a lot less TikTok these days. Like, I've been scrolling a lot less. Because every time I open my for you page, it's like, sorry, I'm looking for lip gloss.

A (37:33)

But I love when people look through their purse. I think it's kind of like their.

B (37:36)

Oh, my God.

A (37:37)

Looking for stuff. No, I don't know why. It reminds me of my mom, my childhood, like, looking for keys.

B (37:41)

It's just.

A (37:41)

It's very therapeutic.

B (37:42)

Okay, well, that's what I'm doing here. The lips are dry. They're covered in in and out sauce. But anyways, I feel like every time I open my for you page, it's like, Jim Carrey is a cologne. Selena Gomez has been dead for 10 years. We are eating human meat. And it's like, okay, even if those things are factually true, even if they're true, the God honest truth is that we will never know.

A (38:03)

Know.

B (38:03)

We will never know if McDonald's has human meat. We will never know if Jim Carrey is cloned. We will never know if Selena Gomez was duped.

A (38:10)

We like.

B (38:11)

And at what point is it. And I don't want to, like, use psychosis as a buzzword, but like, I don't know, like, just at what point are we conspiracizing, spending so much of our time conspiring, conspiracizing, whatever the word is, about things that we will just factually never know about. And we're filling up our brains with like, either A, propaganda, B, anxiety, like C, like, you know what I mean? Like, I think that's like the whole

A (38:39)

point, right, is like tick tock is meant to distract from what's going on in the world, which is a whole stand to itself, right? It's like, what are they distracted? Like, the whole Savannah Gun 3 thing. Everyone's like, what are they distracting us from? You know, like, no one's talking about, like, the ice raids that are still happening and stuff. So it's like, it's a distraction. So that's obviously or not into itself. And I'm with you. I'm very much. The Jim Carrey clone thing was like pissing me off. So much my couth. Who cares? It's Jim Carrey. That's Jim Gary.

B (39:04)

Like, and it also very well could be. But the fact of the matter is that none of us can call Jim Carrey up, so we will never know.

A (39:12)

Like, right, right.

B (39:13)

And it just like. And then I scroll past Jim Carrey clone and then it's like, buy this viral magnet or you are worth nothing or you're worthless if you're not having a coquette core hot girl the summer you should end your own life. Like, it's just. And it's just so much of like, yeah, that. And then like obviously the comparison, like the my life is not as good as X, Y and Z influencer. Like I just used to scroll and I felt like I would get a lot of funny videos and like maybe animal videos or maybe like informational tutorial videos or like people were. There are still a lot of relatable content creators. I don't want to generalize, but I just felt like my for you was filled with a lot of things that brought me joy and inspiration.

A (39:58)

Yes, I agree. I would venture to say there's like not many relatable content creators left because I love a relatable content creator. It's like no one is. Like, once you get 100,000 followers in a brand deal, it's like you're no longer like relatable. And I think that's just like, it just sucks. I don't know if everyone just is trying to be so brand safe or brand friendly or try to put out an image, but it's like I'm trying to think of like a real one. Even the Mormonized. I like loved Taylor Frankie Paul, but definitely has become brand. Like a bachelorette. Hulu got it. You know, like everything and it's great date but you're like, damn. Where is like the realness?

B (40:29)

You have to like. One of my favorites is like this girl, Swagatron Forever. She's like very random, but she's. She talks a lot about like mental health and stuff. Like I just, I like having. When she's going through it. Like, I try to like lean into finding those people where like they're even yesterday I like had been filming this tick tock. I was like having just a lot of OCD intrusive thoughts and I was like, this would be a really funny thing to do. Like every time I do it film Them not only funny, but also, also there is something about having OCD and saying the asinine thought that's plaguing you. Like this morning I was dead convinced I had appendicitis and my appendix burst and it like, factually didn't you have scoliosis and you pulled a muscle and you know that, but it's your lower right back. So like in my head, I'm doing my lip liner and my brain's just going, you have appendicitis, you have appendicitis, you have appendicitis. You're gonna die. You're gonna like. And so I filmed it, a video saying all my thoughts like that. And I almost didn't post it. I. I was like, people are gonna pick this apart and it's like a little bit vulnerable. And like, OCD is also one of those things where people love to be like, no, that's just anxiety. Or like, kind of like.

A (41:27)

Yeah.

B (41:28)

Like I feel like whenever I realized I developed ocd, a lot of people, even just in real life were like, telling me I didn't have it. And like, I knew I had it. I felt this shift. And so maybe it's more of an internal thing, but I debated and then I was like, no, like, you can't just post Jack in the Box brand deals in Buster. Like, this is. This is who you really are and like, share it.

A (41:47)

Did you post it?

B (41:47)

I did post it this morning. I posted it like yesterday.

A (41:50)

Okay. But I just love those ones that you pose. But it's just like, oh, I didn't see that one. I guess that's like, it is more vulnerable cuz like a real thing that you're going through and it's like, yeah, that is kind of hard to like, post in the moment, but it is,

B (42:00)

it's wild because the Internet is almost taking us to this place where you do like, second guess the stuff that really is like relatable and really is vulnerable. Even my like, sobriety one year YouTube video, it took me like a, a month to post it. It was ready, but I was like, I know this is gonna, you know, but at the same time, that's what I feel the most fulfilled doing is like actually being relatable. Tana. Like, we love a good haul and all, but like, that's one tenth of.

A (42:24)

You know, I think that's my favorite is yours. Like the funny ones, the real ones. I think that's like where you thrive with everyone. I think that's why. And you, you've kept it right? You've earned. You've gotten money and gotten success, but you kept that realness. And that's why people love when you're like missing a tooth and you'll like go on camera and be like, my tooth just popped out. And you're like, what girl? But like real.

B (42:45)

Because I think that if you're just posting the good, the influencer life, it's just. You're living a lie.

A (42:51)

I don't know.

B (42:51)

So that's why I like try to look for creators who are also not like, I don't know. But there's so many more problems. I swear lately for me it's been the conspiring. Like I just opening my tick tock makes me go into these like rabbit holes of deep, dark stuff that I like, will never really know about.

A (43:07)

Like, makes you spiral.

B (43:08)

Yeah, and just like, makes me be like, why am I filling my brain with this? Like, I should read a book, you know?

A (43:12)

Yeah, that's valid.

B (43:13)

Like, I'll never know if Selena Gomez is a clone. I should read like, they think she's a clone too.

A (43:17)

I didn't know they do.

B (43:18)

They think that when she had her NCI know and this is like, I don't want to know.

A (43:21)

Is she like the Debbie Ryan clone? Is that what the theory is?

B (43:24)

They think that when she had her transplant, what she had transplanted, she has lupus and she had either a kidney or a liver transplant. A kidney transplant. And it was her best friend. But then they had a falling out and like I think it was was kidney, kidney, kidney. And the conspiracy theorists are just saying like, she's never been the same since, like, you know, whatever, but it's like a lobotomy instead. Yeah, but it's like, also, maybe she just has lupus and maybe she's just going through things. Maybe she's just a girl, but she's been through a lot. Like, I don't know. I don't know.

A (43:55)

She did like Benny Blanco's dirty feet.

B (43:57)

I saw that.

A (43:58)

Apologize. What'd your take on it?

B (44:00)

I. I like, am so the wrong person to ask because you would do it.

A (44:05)

I love it.

B (44:05)

You hate Makoa's toe.

A (44:07)

I kind of said that too. That was kind of my take is kind of like, yeah, I mean, it's a dirty foot. Like I would look at like, yeah, Moses.

B (44:13)

You know, that's, that's kind of where my head goes to. Is that like that? Honestly, when I saw that, I thought like, that's some real couple. And it's like refreshing to see people Doing real couple. And I know that people have a lot to say about her, Benny Blanco, and they also don't. They don't share a lot of their relationship. So to go from just like, like sitting together on Jimmy Fallon or Kimmel or whatever. Jimmy. To then biting a toe might have been like a. Licking a toe might have been a stark contrast for people. But like, half the people in those comments are doing like, like when you're really comfortable with someone. To me, that's what I saw. I saw two people who are really comfortable with each other.

A (44:47)

Yeah, like the dirty foot. I mean, you eat like a dirty butthole. You know what I mean? And it's just like, what, like she

B (44:52)

was like sucking the pavement off his toe. Like, it was just like a little like love for thing. But I also. I am the wrong person to ask because I'm always probably going to be on the defense of like the McCo and I are so like that. You know what I mean?

A (45:04)

You're on defense of like, like we're a little gross.

B (45:07)

I guess I would say, if I had to say, I could say that like a lot of the things Moko and I do, a lot of people might be like, that's nasty.

A (45:13)

Well, I guess love, I guess that's

B (45:14)

just how we are. Yeah.

A (45:15)

I think love. I don't really like gross things, but if it's Moses, I can handle anything. You know what I mean?

B (45:20)

I'm gonna.

A (45:20)

Yeah, I probably look a dirty foot, I guess. I don't know if I would like, do it just willy nilly.

B (45:24)

But do you and Moses ever like, toot on him each other?

A (45:26)

Never. That is always grounds for divorce. I say like, that's like, I'll take cheating over that. Like, absolutely not. Absolutely not. One time when you, when people and Benny Blanco talks about, like just farting on people and stuff, and I'm just like, that's great. Like, what do you mean you're just like farting?

B (45:41)

I don't think you should like, you know, just be like blow dryer level farting just at all times. Like, for sure. No, but like, sometimes, like, I don't know, I'll toot on. We'll toot on each other. Occasionally I say toot to try to make it cute.

A (45:55)

I would.

B (45:55)

I love grounds for divorce.

A (45:57)

Grounds for divorce. You never have while you were here?

B (45:59)

What? No, I would never. That's like, that's, that's so you're able

A (46:03)

to like hold it in. You just.

B (46:04)

Of course, like, if we're more doing it as Like a bit. Like, we'll be like. We mess with each other a lot. Like tickling and like play fighting and like, just like messing. And I'll be like, I'm gonna toot on you if you don't, like, shut up. Like, whatever.

A (46:15)

Oh, my God. That's actually.

B (46:16)

It is a little. It is a little far.

A (46:18)

No judgment though.

B (46:19)

Honestly, he's just like. He is like a farter and a burper. Like, I'm not. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't.

A (46:24)

But just now naturally he just has a lot of gas.

B (46:26)

Yeah, I think so. He's. Yes, he's very gassy and like, whatever. So then 5i. If he does some nasty. If it's like nasty, I'm like, don't do that. I'll be like, makoa. And he's like, I'm sorry, you're right.

A (46:37)

Like, like, Matthew McConaughey said he left a turd in Timothy Chalamet's toilet on the set of a movie they were filming on purpose. Yeah. For him to find it.

B (46:45)

Oh my God, I'm so toxic because I think that's like kind of funny, but I also have the most pee, pee poo poo sense of humor. Like, album.

A (46:53)

It's crazy.

B (46:54)

So funny. He his toy. It's like, oh my God, shut up.

A (46:57)

Thank you so much to SeatGeek for sponsoring this episode of Not Love Life.

B (47:00)

I'm so excited to see Tana and Trisha live in Vegas using SeatGeek.

A (47:05)

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B (47:25)

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B (48:12)

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A (48:15)

I couldn't. I would actually be like, I hate. Yeah.

B (48:18)

And that's also, like, a man thing. Like, imagine you and I doing that. That, like, I wouldn't be like, trisha, I left you. Like, that's weird. Like, that is. That's nasty.

A (48:25)

Yeah. I can't do it. I cannot do it. Well, that's like a love language, I suppose, is like, I'm saying for them,

B (48:31)

I, like, understand that I. I personally would never partake in leaving you behind my bowel, I guess.

A (48:38)

Rapid fire Hot topic. Since we're talking about Timmy Chalamet, thoughts on ballet Gate. Him saying people don't care about ballet. And then Doja Cat responding, being like, people do care.

B (48:46)

Yeah. If anything, I think that, like, like, I. My prediction for society. I saw Brooke made a tik tok, and she had a really good point in the tik tok where she was like, well, I'm trying to, like, phrase this how I want to phrase this. Essentially, I could see our society going back to enjoying tangible live things, whether that's movie, whether that's theater, whether that's all of these things because of how, like, AI like, VR, let's go to the VR gaming center. Like, we're, like, going so far that way. That's that I could see us, like, you know, the pendulum swinging backwards for people wanting to see real people creating art. So I definitely, like, maybe he was saying it in the regard of, like, how people say people don't go to the movies anymore. But then he said something about, like, 14 cents that was bad.

A (49:33)

Oh, I didn't see that. 14 cents.

B (49:34)

I think he said, I, like, I just lost 14 cents in viewership after he said the ballet. Mean, like, as in like, like, what does it mean?

A (49:44)

What's the joke?

B (49:44)

Like, he was joking around. It Wasn't. I don't. I don't think that 14 or 14 cents, like, even, like, I. Because I just said something that people don't like, I just lost the amount of viewers. That equates to 14 making 14 cents for me.

A (50:02)

Oh, okay. So, like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't affect him. It's not affecting his paycheck. Yeah. Which, like. Yeah, yeah.

B (50:09)

I mean, that one could have been a draft.

A (50:12)

Right? Right.

B (50:13)

That sentiment definitely could have been a draft. Well, it's all the same energy.

A (50:16)

Interview we had. The. The, I guess is that around Oscar time, people. Because it's an old interview. It's from a few months ago, but people drag up old interviews to make sure he doesn't get the Oscar. And it seems to happen with, like, some other.

B (50:30)

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A (50:59)

Oscar nominees right now, too. There's, like, a girl that's, like, won everything and, like, old things about her have come up.

B (51:04)

That makes perfect sense because it was.

A (51:06)

It was months ago. It's all from the same Matthew McConaughey turd interview. It's all from the same one. But, like, weirdly, it's getting, like, brought up now. Yeah.

B (51:12)

That is why I need to watch that in full.

A (51:14)

I like what?

B (51:15)

Just want to see. See it. Like, that is so. I believe in that. I used to, like, be a little more skeptical of the PR machine, and I think the Justin Baldoni, Blake Lively stuff getting brought to the front made me really realize that, like, everything is a campaign. Everything is, you know, and just like, having a PR team, like, really starting to understand, like, the back end of pr, because I never did. And, like, I don't get it.

A (51:36)

I never had a PR person. I don't get it.

B (51:38)

I don't know what it means. I, like, have one for the first time in my life, and it's like, I'll never have the PR team that's telling me what to say. And whenever people are like, oh, she's PR trained now. I've never had PR training so long as I've lived. Like, and I Never will. I think that it's like, I. I enjoyed learning all of my lessons in real time, like, falling on my face and, like. And no one can take that away from me any. If I'm able to dodge a risky question or respond in an intelligent way to a question. I was not PR trained. That is me. I. I learned that, and I don't want anyone to ever take it away from me. I have a PR team, I guess, to, like, now to, like, bring me, like, they just booked me a magazine cover. They just booked me, like, different stuff. Like, that's what they kind of do is, like, the pr. Or, like, if you want to do. Do, like. Like, I'll hit them up and be like, I want to do the gq. Like, what's in my. Then that's why I'm never gonna get it.

A (52:22)

I love that one. Is it. What is the GQ1? Is that the one? Is that what's in my bag or 10 things I can't Live without or something?

B (52:27)

Yes. Like, those. Like, if you want to do stuff like that, you can hit them up, but obviously, like, they think with the minds of, like, this would be good for you because it's putting out this message and this imaging for this. Like, it is a whole.

A (52:39)

Tell you this would be bad. Don't do it.

B (52:43)

They definitely. Yeah, but I'm not really in that era. I feel like. I know, like, if that's something's bad, I don't want to do it or, like, you know what I mean? Like, we're just trying to even, like, I texted them the other day. I was like, I want to go on more sobriety podcasts.

A (52:53)

Like, you know, like, it's a good one.

B (52:54)

It's a lot of, like, wholesome. You should.

A (52:56)

I feel we were talking about that too, how, like, Haley Bieber is, like, goes on, like, motherhood podcasts. And it's, like, very specific and niche and kind of small. But it's kind of cool that she does that. You're like, your Haley Bieber could go on, like, anything. Yeah. And she'll, like, do these, like, little. Like, she was with her OBGYN on a podcast. Oh, I love that.

B (53:10)

I'm really loving, like, seeing her. I loved her on Jake Shane, too. I've been loving him on Netflix too,

A (53:15)

so I haven't seen it.

B (53:17)

So his podcast is just got bought by Netflix, basically. So it's the same thing. You're still watching the therapist podcast as you would on YouTube, but just on Netflix. And Marcelo Hernandez was so good Too.

A (53:27)

Like, oh, was he.

B (53:28)

He had Marcelo on and Marcelo brought him a bunch of gifts from like HomeGoods and, or like TJ Maxx and stuff. And it was so cute. Like he was just raised right. You can tell.

A (53:36)

Yeah. Marcelo or Jake?

B (53:39)

I mean both of them, honestly. Yeah.

A (53:41)

He was like his single mom and stuff he said, right? Yeah.

B (53:44)

Just like never showing up empty handed. Like, that's really cute.

A (53:46)

Yeah, that's. We were talking about how that's just like in some people, it's like I really need to be that person more. I need to just like we were.

B (53:52)

Because we were talking about Ms. Holly Madison and like, she's going above and beyond for me right now in life in a way that's. I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced this, but like when someone's getting you extravagant gifts or just doing such kind things for you and like, it gets to a point where they're doing something for you that's so amazing that you feel like you can never repay them.

A (54:09)

Yes. Yeah. The guilt said yes.

B (54:11)

Like, literally, she got me unbanned from the wind. She's planning all this stuff for us. At the win, she sent me a wedding level cake. Like, I know this cake was 700 bucks at minimum. Oh yeah.

A (54:20)

Her cakes are fancy three tier.

B (54:22)

It's. It's painted like the win. Carrot cake is my favorite. It's inside is carrot cake. Like it's taking up my whole fridge. By the way, everyone, I'm like, sorry about your leftovers. Like, and it's just like, I, I. And clearly that's her love language, you know. And she's like, does this Isabella and Ashley want matching pajamas? Like just she's. And she does that for you always with the kids in there.

A (54:41)

Every birth is a cake and it always shows up as always. Yeah. And like you said, you almost feel guilty. I was like, can I send you. I. Do you have an address? Like, let me. One time I think I sent her like a bling Yoda. My. My love language is bling cups. I'm like, I'll send you a bling Yoda cup.

B (54:52)

Yeah.

A (54:52)

I didn't know what to send because she was so like you said, she just gives, gives, gives and like, doesn't expect anything returning. Same thing with Vegas. Like, what show do you want to see? Like, I can get you this. And I'm just like any.

B (55:01)

She's a queen of Vegas and one wants to extend that. If I had Holly Madison's power and people were constantly asking me for in Vegas I would feel like, literally suck my.

A (55:08)

Yeah, especially because. Well, interesting you said that. So I did her podcast. I don't think it's out yet, but I did her podcast, and I was talking to her probably maybe after two, and I was thinking, like, oh, like, I didn't know her ex husband was like, the EDC guy maybe we're talking about with you.

B (55:22)

Maybe.

A (55:23)

Yes. And I was like, oh, I didn't know he started it or something.

B (55:26)

He's like, the goat of that industry.

A (55:29)

Oh, my God. I had no idea. Like, I. I'm like, I always, like, wanted to go. It would have been fun, like, to wear a little tutus. I know people don't do that anymore, but, like, the tutus, but it's.

B (55:36)

It's fear.

A (55:37)

And she's like, if you want to go, I'll go with you. We can do, like, a little, like, VIP thing. So with the people. And I was just like, I know.

B (55:42)

She helicopters in.

A (55:44)

I was like, going to that with you would be everything, because I think I missed that chapter in life. And she. We could just go for like, an hour. And it doesn't have to be fun.

B (55:52)

I've been to 14 EDCs or like 13 or like, 10. Like, something. I don't know the exact number.

A (55:57)

But, yeah, obviously we mentioned you, and we're just like, that would be. So when is it? Should we do it?

B (56:01)

It used to be in June, and then I think they moved it earlier because it would be, like, 110 degrees and people would, like, pass out. Yes. And, like, it's kind of want to go. I would 100 re. Enter my rave era with you for one night. Yes. And then you do this. Ready? So they wear all the bracelets.

A (56:18)

Okay.

B (56:18)

And they're all the, like, beaded bracelets that they make, and they're called candy. And you, like, spend time before the festival making all the candy and people. I actually was going through my garage the other day and, like, found all my candy, like, all my rave bracelets. And people make the most intricate ones, like, their flowers, and they're, like, insane. And then. So, like, let's say I'll have bracelets on my wrist, and you'll have bracelets on your wrist, and then we'll go. Peace, love. Oh, unity. And then respect. And then I'll switch my bracelet to you, and you'll switch your bracelet to me. Yeah. Like, but that's what you do. You do that, like, the whole time you're there, and you're so. Plur. That's the acronym and, like, isn't that

A (56:53)

a name of a little fragrance company? They always send me PR packages.

B (56:56)

Blur.

A (56:56)

Yeah. They're always sending me scents.

B (56:58)

Peace, love, unity, and respect. You know, it's crazy.

A (57:01)

Oh, I love.

B (57:01)

So we could go and we could be so plur.

A (57:03)

Oh, my God. That would be everything. I would actually love to. We need to go.

B (57:07)

It is. But it's super hot and it's definitely. It's far. And the traffic, like, we should go for one hour.

A (57:13)

Yeah, no, literally one hour. One hour max.

B (57:15)

And I used to go, like, absolutely. Like, sun up to the next day's sunrise, and then.

A (57:20)

No, that sounds crazy.

B (57:21)

Like, I can't believe I ever used to like, edm. Like, is it.

A (57:25)

What, like, music?

B (57:27)

Okay. The EDM community is going to come for me for that.

A (57:30)

But you love this.

B (57:31)

Yeah.

A (57:31)

You were in it at one point.

B (57:32)

I did. I loved Excision. I loved Carnage. I loved, like, so many of those. Like, you know, but.

A (57:38)

But going with her would be so fun because she's like, you both are like, Queen of Vegas. Anytime with you girls in Vegas, I feel like, was so cool. But it would be fun. You could, like, do, like, a steak dinner before and then go. Yeah. Okay, now I'm going to bed.

B (57:48)

Yes. Literally. Because it will drain, like, the post-80s and just desert air. And, like, I'm going to text you human contact. Because it's like, I don't know, it's a lot more. I feel like at Coachella, everyone's like, oh, Instagram. Like, oh, my God. Whereas at edc, everyone's like, let's blend our sweat together. Because, like, I love that people very touchy and lovey and like, all those

A (58:07)

things, you know, I'm excited to go to that.

B (58:09)

And.

A (58:09)

Are you going to Coachella? Because I think, like, did you invite. Are you going with a. I'm going with.

B (58:14)

I'm going with a few brands, and they're like, all my favorite brands, actually. So I'm really excited.

A (58:18)

What does that mean?

B (58:19)

Like, same thing as, like, a YouTube video where you can have, like, a dedicated sponsor or, like, with thick exclusivity. And, like, a lot of girls do that. Like, they'll stay in the house of, like, the brand and they'll just rep the brand all weekend. But I like to, like, do my own house with my friends. And then I like to, like. Like, I'll probably wear white fox. I'm, like, probably gonna use certain body care products that, like, I love and, like, just different. And they're, like, sponsoring my. Yeah, yeah. Do you want to go for the

A (58:46)

first time a brand reached out to brand. It's YouTube. YouTube's like, do you want to go to Coachella? And I, like, was just like, what does that mean?

B (58:51)

Like, just for Bieber.

A (58:53)

I really want to. I think the only thing that stops me is the crowds. You're always in a line, right? There's no getting past any line.

B (59:01)

No, you'd have, like, an artist band,

A (59:02)

but even then, there's lines for artist bands.

B (59:06)

Yeah, but, like, someone could go, I'll.

A (59:07)

I'll.

B (59:08)

I'll get you all the accoutrements. I'll get you all the things to make it as easy as possible. Like, you could. You could also. I know jet suite. Like, in, like, helicopter. People, like, go in that way. Like, I know that the Goodyear blimp is taking people this year. Like, people are riding into Coachella by blimp or. I'm making that up.

A (59:24)

I don't know if you can be inside about blimp.

B (59:26)

I know. I saw a message one of my friends got the other day.

A (59:28)

Really? Yeah.

B (59:29)

I guess the blimp.

A (59:30)

I think it sounds like that, like, little submarine thing that exploded. Like, just like, I wouldn't want to go in there up in the sky on a blimp.

B (59:36)

Like, Goodyear DM'd one of my friends and was like, can we give you a ride to Coachella? So I don't. I don't know.

A (59:41)

I love when brands just, like, DM you, and you're just like, hi.

B (59:44)

Yeah. Like, what do you need?

A (59:46)

What do you want? What do you need? We were talking about love languages. I want to, like, get back to that because. What. Want me to talk about it off camera? We were talking about love languages, and

B (59:54)

then hers is gift giving. Hers is definitely gift giving. But I do feel like people have receiving and giving love languages. Right?

A (60:01)

Like, yes. Two different things.

B (60:02)

Yes. Yes. What are yours? I want to hear yours.

A (60:05)

Mine was always. I like, I guess, like, I guess I'm just not a good love language giver.

B (60:12)

That's not true.

A (60:13)

I'm. I'm really affectionate, and I'm deformation. I was just gonna say, yeah, I'm definitely like someone. Which. That's like Moses is like, not love language at all. Receiving or giving. Like, he doesn't. He's not like, and I love you. I'm constantly. I love you so much. I would know. My God, what do I do without you? And he's just like, the opposite. He doesn't need it.

B (60:28)

Yeah.

A (60:28)

And he doesn't give it like that's just like not his thing. So it's like such. But I like, I like words of affirmation. I'm definitely like, before I knew what a love bomber was. I feel like I was like a love bomber. But I mean it like, I mean like love bomb, like mo's all day. I'm just, I just want, you know, I really, really love you. Like, remind him because I'm like, you know when people get divorced, like the divorce came out of nowhere. So I'm like, I'm always just like reiterating like, I love you. I don't know what I would do without you. You're my whole life. So I'm a very. That. Yeah. And I used to think gift giving was like, I love giving gifts or getting gifts. I love receiving. I used to love giving gifts. And I think I got jade along the way because people would give gifts to would be like, stop giving me gifts. I hate this. Like it would happen a couple times. Like boyfriends.

B (61:02)

You just like casually say, make me want to jump off a cliff. Like whoever that is, I hope they're having, I hope they stub their toe right now in a second.

A (61:09)

Yeah, same. And they would just be like, I want to return this. I don't want it like so it's like I watch a return.

B (61:14)

Like just someone's face is literal scum of the earth behavior.

A (61:18)

Right? I mean these were like old men and so it's like, whatever. But yeah, so I, I used to like giving gifts and I think I'm just like, I've gone the complete one. You were talking about this where I'm just like, will not give gifts. Cuz I just think everyone will hate it. Whatever. So if I, if I work with someone, I just like every gift you've

B (61:32)

ever gotten me is my prized possession. My orange mew mew bag and my, my bedazzled Bottega bag. I literally, they're my prized possessions.

A (61:38)

Well, I appreciate that, but I like it more when you're like, oh, I really wanted this Gucci bag. I'm like, or you wanted like a piece, a pink one like that. I'm like, oh, I have one. You know that it was a gift. You bought it. But I'm just saying, like, you know, I love when like someone I know want something and then I'll get it rather than just guessing because it's like, oh, it's so hard to guess anymore. And especially specific taste or whatever.

B (61:53)

But I like, I'm, I'm noticing that I'VE become such a mom. Like, like, you know how like the like moms will like hone in on one thing that you like and then they'll just like keep getting you that thing. I mean mine didn't but like moms

A (62:06)

in general are supposed to. Yeah.

B (62:07)

Like Ty always jokes that like his mom will like get him like pride cups and stuff. And he's like, I know I'm gay, but I love that. But like I don't need a fifth pride mug. Like I, I want like you know, new shoes.

A (62:18)

Right, right, right, right. That's so funny.

B (62:20)

And I so like that. Like our little sister mine in Amari, she loves this brand lonely ghost. So I just like get her lonely ghost all the time. And Ashley was laughing the other day and she's like, what if she doesn't even like it anymore? And you're just like being a mom like and just you're like.

A (62:33)

But she liked that one point. So I'm going to keep giving. Are you a gift giver? Is that your love language?

B (62:37)

It honestly really is. I love giving people gifts because I like I just. My memory is very weird. Like I don't always remember everything but I do some. Like I can't remember little things and then I'll be in a store and I'll see little things and like do that for people. So I love to give gifts and words of affirmation. Those are definitely my 2. It's funny what you were saying too about cuz I do this too where like you were saying the divorce thing where you're like oh, like the divorce came out of nowhere. So then like I'm like overly affirming and I think I do that too like with my abandonment issues. Like to mo every 2 seconds I have to be like, I love you so much. I love you so much. Like yeah, because I'm like my fear. I'm realizing lately like randomly that just a lot of my like post relationship, like my other relationships, traumas, like I'm still working through them even though I've been in something happy and healthy for literally two years.

A (63:26)

It almost like follows you forever. I feel like this is like so unhealthy, so toxic. I feel like I had a like not on purpose. My mental illness put him through it and like use put Moses through so many tests and obstacles where he like should have left me 5,000 times. They should have never talked to me again. Should have blocked me and it's like damn like up until even when we got married tell the story all the Time like I was like a million dollars in debt. It was like, you know, right before the wedding, he could have bailed. After the wedding, I had more debt. He could have been like fraud, like all this stuff like that he found out more stuff and like stood with me through like all of that. Where now my million dollar debt became his million dollar debt. His credit is lowered because he married me. Like, all this like, is like life ruining.

B (64:01)

Yeah.

A (64:01)

You say with me. I was like, okay. I think at this point point he's in it for real. So I think that has given me peace of mind. But I still now I pray. It's so funny. I saw a meme or maybe it was like a tick tock where people were like, you know, you used to worry so much about like your boyfriend cheating on you and you'd be like, oh my God, he's probably talking to girl. And now it's like when you find a good healthy one, you worry about them like dying. Yeah. Because you're just like. I'm like, I don't know what I do with it. I literally pray manifest every day. I'm like, please 50 more years of Moses being on this earth for our kids, for everyone. Like, he needs to survive more than I do. Like, yeah. It's like a crazy thing to think about.

B (64:32)

And it's. It's.

A (64:32)

And it's so true. And sometimes when I talk to him, I start crying. I'm just like, I love you. And I just. I don't know what I do without you. And I like, I saved my life and yeah.

B (64:39)

Yeah, it's.

A (64:40)

And the words of affirmation are, I guess more for maybe us than to be. Yeah.

B (64:44)

And. And the reassurance to like have them say it back to you and like just know and like it is so true. It is like just how you never says it back.

A (64:52)

He is very not that person. Yeah, never. But his acts of service is like above and beyond.

B (65:00)

That's what I was gonna say is my favorite receiving. Oh, like by far. I'm lazy. I am incompetent. I am just. I'm all the things. Like if you bring me that TV remote, like I'm gushing. Like I am.

A (65:13)

Like I am.

B (65:15)

Yeah. When they.

A (65:16)

Like when you do I. There was a sound you used the one I was like, told him. I was like, I'm like, I'm do this for you. But I know my. Some people. But it'll reach the wrong side. Tick tock for me. Where they're like, wow, he's her Assistant, whatever, the one with the bell. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so funny, because he didn't like that either. Honestly, I got some hate comments, but I get it. But I think it's like, because we haven't been in those relationships, it's kind of like, oh, my gosh. And it's like, you know, finally someone who just does it. You know what I mean? So nice. And I've never had that do it too.

B (65:42)

I think even, like, people were commenting on that tick tock. And they were like, you can tell he's fed up. And I was like, but the thing that I love is, like, I know that he's not. And like, he, like, thoroughly enjoys, like, taking care of me. Because I feel like I did have so many boyfriends that I would, like, fight and beg to do all those little things for me. Like, bring me the cup of water in bed at night. Like they just didn't want to, like, get up and get it yourself. Like, yes, just. And there is something to be said about, like, blatant disrespect or blatant mistreat, but there's also a pain of over time. Just little things like that. Like, he won't bring me a little thing that I need when I need it. If I'm sick, I have to go get the medicine from the medicine. Like, if I'm, you know what I mean, like, craving this snack downstairs and I'm comfy in bed. He doesn't look at me as, like a princess. Like, it's like, go get it yourself. It's like, he doesn't want to give me a massage. He's tired. Like, he doesn't. You know what I mean? Like, those little pains over time. So to have someone just like, Nicole gives me a full shiatsu massage every single night. And it's like, that's so, like, I know your hands hurt. I know you're probably tired too. Like, you know, and it's like, does it.

A (66:41)

Because they want to. Yeah, that's. And that. That's 100 Moses. Like, like, he'll make five different dinners. Like, one for me, one for Malbol, one for himself. Like, he'll just make all these. He's like, just send me the recipe. And I'll like, be like, no, I'll make it. Like, I actually don't mind. And he'll be like, no, like, I want to. But it is crazy because I. I hold back on sharing as much as Moses does. Like, if people knew everything he did, it would, like, Send them into a coma. They'd be like, oh, my God. And then they. Yeah, they get mad at me. They're like, well, what do you do for him? And blah, blah. It's just like. I don't know. He just, like, wants to do all these things, and I'm just really lucky and. Yes, but that camera, you know, not even on camera. Like, he does all of it, so.

B (67:10)

But I think that's why we share it, too, though, because it's like, we had so many people who wouldn't. You know what I mean? Like, give us a tissue when we sneezed. Like, people we were jumping oceans for who wouldn't jump puddles for us, you know? And it's like, I try to share those things because it's like, there is a man out there who will love you so much that he wants to see you live the easiest, possible, happiest possible life, you know?

A (67:35)

Yeah. I've had people I've worked plast surgeries with, and I've had boyfriends, and they, like, have my mom do it all, and they call me in a week when you're healed. You know what I mean? Like, it's, like, crazy. And I want to have kids with that mom. My God, I'm so stupid. And that happened multiple times. And I'm like, I am such an. I'm so stupid. Like, definitely, like, yeah, marry the one who's gonna, like, be with you, pick you up, like. And that's why I knew Moses wasn't. Early on. I knew Moses was the one. It was during COVID and my mom actually got covered, and I had her drive her all the way down to Long beach because I was, like, the only hospital that would, like, take her. And it was, like, really bad. She, like, couldn't breathe. And I drove all the way down, and, like, Moses drove all the way down to bring me because I had to wait in my car for her to go in hospital. The in the hospital. So I was, like, sitting down there for, like, a couple hours, and he drove all the way in his car to get me CPK pizza. To, like, wait. And so he ate in his car. Hate him, because it was covered, because he didn't know if my mom had covered and gave it to me. So we're just, like, sitting there eating, like, with our windows down. At the hospital. He just waited, like, six hours for me while, like, till my mom came out.

B (68:24)

Like, it's stuff like that where it's like, you'll never forget that, because it's not about the like, extravagance, it's like, about the time and it's just about the, like, consistently showing up too. I think when you have abandonment issues, like, someone consistently shows showing up is like, it can be shocking to you almost. It's like, why? You know, when your self worth is low, it's like, why do you want to keep showing up to me like this?

A (68:45)

And I know now I'm gonna cry because it is amazing that, like, someone, like, will love you that much. Yeah. Because I, like, I honestly don't even know if I'm like, sometimes I'm. I. Until I have my kids, I'm like, I don't know if I was capable of loving someone that much, you know? And still we talk about that sometimes too. You said, like, when Moko is sick, you're like, I'm horrible when Moses is sick. And I want to be so much better. Like, I wish I could be that person that's like, let me make you soup. I'll be like, I'll postmate you, Sue. But I wish, wish I could, like, home make it for him. Like, you know, I just can't. And I'm just like, yeah. So every time anyone around us is sick, I'm like, don't get sick. Get zycan. Because it's like, it's more just like, I just. I need to be more of that, honestly. Because again, the divorce came out of nowhere. Right. I need to be more of that. But, like, it is hard. And he's.

B (69:21)

People feel it's like a yin and a yang, you know, Like. Like, that's how I look at Moa. And I, like, I might be the sillier one and I might be the certain. But I, like, there are definitely certain gaps that I feel. You know what I mean? Like, you are so incredibly hard working. Like, we are providing in that way and like, just. And we're kind to them and we love them so much. They. They don't expect us to be Gordon Ramsay. They know we can.

A (69:46)

I know when people say, what do you bring? I'm like, well, I'm not going to list my great qualities either. I do have a lot of good qualities that I bring to the table.

B (69:51)

And they're having fun. Listen, They're.

A (69:53)

They're like, he's like, you're the interview entertainment director. You know, because he's like, I never done these things before, you know, like little cosplays, you know, he loves a Wuthering Heights cosplay. Like, he feels it. We all do the Tick tock.

B (70:02)

Like, there's never a dull day. I think just as things were getting super peaceful, I was like, check out this chihuahua. Makoa, you are a father.

A (70:12)

That is crazy. Yeah, just think about that when you, like, get pregnant. Like, up. Check this out.

B (70:18)

No, literally, even today, Buster was, like, chewing on one of my vintage Burberry heels. And that is where I draw the line. He's. He shredded my bear slippers, like, the ones that I always wear here. And I was like. I was like, okay, I'll order more. That's fine. Then he shredded a pair of Chanel slippers. And then I was like, oh, wow, that's heartbreaking. And then I still was like. And then today, the Burberry kitten heel was just my last draw. I was like, those are vintage. Those are hard to get. I love them. And I'm, like, freaking out. And Makoa is just being so funny. He's like, your mommy's very upset with you. Like, And Buster, like, I was just like. Like, I grabbed the shoe and then I was just like, ugh. And Buster, like, ran to Makoa.

A (70:53)

Oh, he never.

B (70:53)

And then, like. Like, he knew that you. He was doing something wrong. And he was like, daddy saved me. And Mo was, like, petting him. And he was like, yeah, your mommy really likes her meals.

A (71:01)

Like, that's one thing. Yeah, I guess with animals or kids that they do give you lots of patience. And also, my kids have ruined a few things. You designer things. But it's like, at the end of the day, you're like, they're kids and you're just like, 100. There it is. It's gone. You know, like, I remember when Mabel was young, she could Sharpie to my pink custom couch in my office. And it's just, like, written Sharpie, and there's not. There's not no way of getting it off. But I look at it as kind of like, maybe it's like, art. Maybe it's like, she'll be an artist one day. I'm like, look, her first piece was it. But I remember at the time, and I wasn't mad because, like, how can you get mad at, like, literally one year old? But you are kind of like.

B (71:35)

It's like, damn. It's a very feeling of like, damn. Like, that was. That was definitely me with my shoes. I was like, damn, Buster. But, like.

A (71:42)

But does it does teach you to be like, it's just a material thing.

B (71:44)

We just love you so much. Like, literally I was looking for other shoes. I was like, what shoe can I give him to just destroy? Like, or maybe a toy. I'll give him a toy.

A (71:52)

Yeah. Or you also just learned to, like, put the shoes higher. Like, I was like, well, we'll just keep those Sharpies up at a higher shelf. Yeah. Literally.

B (71:57)

It's definitely teaching me things. And the dog is not the same as a kid at all, but, like, you know, they are.

A (72:01)

I feel like my sister's so close with her dogs and, like, you know, mucky was he. He just. He has, like, kidney failure and she's, like, really upset. And I. And I get that. I feel like when you have dogs. I've never had a dog, so I don't. I don't know. But I understand how close it can be. I've seen people lose pets and they're, like, devastated, and I can understand that.

B (72:18)

Yeah. It's also just like, I don't know, like, even if I just have a stressful day or like, anything, like, just the unconditional love. Like, obviously Makoa unconditionally loves me as well. Like him sleeping on my chest and stuff. Like little Buster on my chest. I'm like, oh, well.

A (72:31)

It's also like innocence and purity. I feel like both babies and dogs have that because there's no. There's nothing else they're thinking about. Right. Moko could be thinking about other things, maybe not thinking about whatever. You know, there's Moses too. Like, there's other things they could be thinking about as opposed to a child is really just thinking about wanting to be cuddled and close. And there's like, this innocence. And dogs too. Like, they're obviously the only one to love.

B (72:49)

Read this thing the other day that, like, when. If you accidentally step on a dog or bump into them, they don't. They're not aware that, like, that was an accident. Like, they don't have the concept of an accident. And I was sobbing.

A (73:02)

I know. They're just so, like. Dogs are so pure. I feel like kids grow up to be adults and they get jaded. I feel like dogs keep their purity for life. You know, they have a short life, but they're meaningful and they give companionship.

B (73:12)

And I'm keeping this damn dog. I'm foster family, I think.

A (73:15)

So hard are you keeping?

B (73:17)

I think so. I have to. I have to do the paperwork in a couple days and. Oh, I don't know. It's. I Sometimes I get a little guilty because I am very busy and, like, I found him the most amazing dog watcher. He's Cynthia Erivo's. Dog Watcher.

A (73:33)

Love Iconic.

B (73:33)

I love, I love la. Okay, I love la. But so he'll like watch Cynthia's and then watch Buster and then like, whatever. And he. And he's this fabulous guy. I'm obsessed with him, like his style, his everything. But like, sometimes I get guilty. I'm like, do you think that's your daddy? Like, am I like, the busyness is the only reason that I haven't fully like. But we're so attached. I think I know the answer. Like, I am just.

A (73:57)

If you're attached, you're attached. I feel like there's always slow periods and busy periods. So it's like just because this is busy period. And there may be a time where things slow down, but it's like kids too, they always. I'm not ready, I'm not ready. And there's like really never a ready time.

B (74:09)

You're just.

A (74:09)

You have them and you just. They fit into your life. You know, you just figure it out.

B (74:12)

Did Ty watch them? Because someone else was Ty. Okay, so he was. Cynthia was our Cynthia Rivo guy was like out of town. So Ty watched him for 24 hours and it was so funny. Like, Buster loves Ty. It was like perfect.

A (74:25)

He was in the closet. I was like, what is this? I love it. Tina knows dating is more fun when your best friend is a part of it.

B (74:31)

That's the energy behind the new Tinder double date. Especially when you think about the post date debrief. Normally you're sending texts, voice notes, or a full plate by play. The second the date ends now, you're already together, already talking it through, and already reacting in real time.

A (74:44)

Instead of a one on one first date, you and your bestie are both dating at the same time, meeting another pair and keeping social and fun. The laughs come quicker, the pressure feels lighter, and the night just feels better when you're in it together.

B (74:55)

Double day is about experiencing dating side by side. From first impressions to the immediate recap. Whether it turns into a fun night out, a new connection, or just a story you'll keep, keep, keep referencing, it is something you go through together.

A (75:07)

So try the new Tinder double date. It starts with the swipe. Download Tinder today because I just know

B (75:11)

that with my like Dog Watcher, I know that it's like very routine and like he's getting walked a thousand times a day. Like, I know a day with Uncle Ty is like you're playing dress up and like maybe like doing a workout together outside.

A (75:23)

And like just like, yeah, it's giving, like, grandparents too. Whenever they're with, like, my dad, I just know they're eating. Like, he's like, just let them have the cookies. Just let them have the candy. We come home at like 10 o' clock at night. They're like, wired and we're like, this is why you can't give them cookies. Because now they're just like, screaming at the top of their lungs. I guess that's like family, family. They just. Yeah, everyone's having, like, a sitter. You're like, okay, there is a professional caregiver. Like, they know when to feed them properly. Carrots before bed.

B (75:45)

24 hours of Uncle Ty was definitely fierce.

A (75:48)

Love the content. It was like just popping up. I didn't think I follow him. And I was like, popping up on my FYP and I was like.

B (75:52)

And honestly, Ty's just so funny. Like, that is so funny. He's like holding Buster with the Birkin, like, everything. I was like, you're so funny.

A (76:00)

No, I loved it. I love seeing all that content. Well, I hope. I'm glad he's staying. I feel like, yeah, he's needed.

B (76:04)

I need to just get him well trained enough that he can come here.

A (76:07)

He's been here. They love the girls, love him.

B (76:09)

I know, but like the. It's a short period of time. Like, the idea of him being here for a long period of time, like, those shoes would be toast.

A (76:16)

Oh, right. Well, we. I'm being the organizer to come here. So next we'll have all this put up because we're in this room a lot. I'm like, we need to have this organized.

B (76:23)

Lots of trainers and we'll see.

A (76:24)

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I love that for you.

B (76:26)

All right, do we take a call? I was going to say we're at 1:10. That was great. Perfect.

A (76:30)

Wow. We see you.

B (76:31)

We're like, good at. Normally we'll be filming for 10 minutes and we're like. We've been filming for four hours.

A (76:35)

I think as we know we're have like one episode today. We're just like, okay, we can film for like, so long.

B (76:39)

I will say the one episode days. We don't have them very often, but it's. It's very nice because it's just like one. You know, you're like, giving your all to one.

A (76:47)

It is feeling like, chill. Although I have been in this wig since like 6am so when it gets to be like 6pm, 12 hours of wig, it starts, like, hallucinating because it's like steel to your head. Yeah, usually on Loveline days, like next week when we do the photo shoot, I like glam like later like I glam like 10 and then it's like not as crazy.

B (76:59)

But yeah. I'm excited though. We're doing a little photo shoot for

A (77:03)

our Vegas because they want to announce it. Like I told Karen to need the photo right away. Cuz they want to announce it. They wanted to announce it this week and I was like we still no photo. So like I think they want to announce it within a couple days.

B (77:11)

So I'm manifesting a residency that would be so fun. And the other day we like were off camera for a second and we started to kind of write the show and very Tana Trisha style. Like I feel like most people like sit around a table and they write a show, but you and I are sitting here. Megan Devon are here. That's all we need to take over the world is Megan Devon. And we were like, we want this and we want want this and we should do this. And I like for the first time saw it. Like I had a visual of what this show would look like.

A (77:38)

I think so too.

B (77:38)

And it's so Vegas and it's so Vegas residency and like obviously regardless, and it's an honor to just do this one. But I'm definitely manifesting that we get to do more Vegas shows.

A (77:49)

Yeah, I agree.

B (77:50)

Just, I'm, I'm very excited.

A (77:52)

We love it.

B (77:53)

Thank Cosmo for taking a chance on us.

A (77:55)

Multiple times.

B (77:56)

I guess we. The proof is in the pudding. Like we did our shows there and stuff. Like they know that we.

A (78:00)

Fourth time. Yeah, it's my third time. Kind of love it.

B (78:03)

I'm so excited.

A (78:04)

I really am. There is something synergy about it where like it keeps drawing us back. And I think you had said it in your very first show there when you were with canceled is like there's like an Adam Sandler poster back there and it does feel very like spiritual because like I had my Adam Sandler. You're in your abs and it's like it feels very.

B (78:19)

Yes. The green rooms are so beautiful. Like you feel so official. I just went there with Chelsea Handler because she's a residency there to see her show there. She's a residency. She does. She has Chelsea at time. The Chelsea, which is so. Yeah, we love it and it's such a great show. But I went and I, I hadn't watched a show there from the crowd because I'd only done my show, your show and unwell. So like from the stage or like side stage. And I was like, I actually. I want to go in the crowd for this one. Chelsea especially. Because her audience, it ranges in age. Like, you know what I mean? I didn't have to like worry about anything.

A (78:52)

Yeah.

B (78:52)

So I was like, I'm going to the crowd and watch this. And I was just sitting there and I was like, oh my God. Like this is my dream. Like. And I'm just. Again, I'm at the. Everything breaking. Brings me back to the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan. That is interesting.

A (79:02)

So you like saw it. It's a very Chicago. And you like see or burlesque even to when Christina Aguilera is like serving and then she's like watching the girls on stage dance. And then she sees herself up there. She's like, I can do that. And then she's like the star of the.

B (79:11)

I just can't wait. Because I think it's really like. I've done a lot of talking shows. I did music shows. You've done a lot of talking shows. A lot of music shows. All the things. But the idea of the two of us coming together for this combination, it's very variety show. Like it's looking like. Like we wanna. I don't want to say too much much, but like we're gonna make some stuff for it and like come out maybe with some new stuff for it.

A (79:32)

Unicycles. Yes.

B (79:33)

And like literally, like. Like lots of different. Like we're just finding.

A (79:38)

We're gonna dive into some water. Should we.

B (79:40)

Whoa. I didn't even think about having an acrobat. It's gonna be like that though. Like think all classic Vegas. Like one acrobat. Okay. Whoever. Whoever just lay didn't hire for the week. But I know someone actually make it. I do.

A (79:53)

I know a lot of dancers who auditioned for a circus didn't make it.

B (79:55)

We should have people come out and do a full like. Like you know how they like do get on the rolling things. Like the balls and the rolling things across the stage and stuff.

A (80:03)

I love that. Yeah. If they can.

B (80:05)

Cuz we also want. And Jimmy bleep this. But we want.

A (80:10)

Yeah. Look at this list.

B (80:12)

It's getting like so big. But some acrobats might be kind of fun.

A (80:17)

I was kidding. But I mean. Yeah.

B (80:18)

Yeah. Like sky's the limit. Like I. I really want to take it there. I'm gonna get to work on it. I'm excited.

A (80:24)

We do a Cirque show. Tannin Trish Cir.

B (80:26)

That's what I'm saying. Like no, we can't I can't. But, like, someone can do it behind me while I yap.

A (80:30)

We could do it. We could do it.

B (80:32)

We could do like this while we y is crazy. Just, like, people doing, like, kind of everything. I'm gonna, like, get to work this week on, like, booking Vegas performers to join us. I really do think, like, this is going to be a once in a lifetime thing. Hopefully they bring us back and it's a more than once in a lifetime. But I really hope all the girlies can come in June.

A (80:49)

Emma month would be cool. Very Harry Styles. Very. Like, only residencies, you know, Then you have your set and everything and. Yeah, okay. Should we take a call? Hi, Trish. Hi, Tana.

B (80:58)

I love you both so much. I've been watching you for 10 years. I know you're both coming out with

A (81:04)

books and I'm super excited.

B (81:05)

I just want to know if you're

A (81:07)

doing audiobooks as well, because I am

B (81:09)

not a reader, but I will if I have to.

A (81:12)

So. Yeah, I just want to know that I love you both so much.

B (81:16)

We love you. How cute was that? You're doing an audiobook, right?

A (81:19)

Audiobook, yes. Yeah, you'd have to. I mean, have to.

B (81:22)

I think nowadays I've been writing mine with that in mind. Like, I feel like I'll write a sentence and then I'll read it and I'll be like, wait, that's not how I would say it. Same.

A (81:30)

Yeah, same, same, same like you would want. And when you hear someone tell their own story, it is so much more powerful. I'm a reader. I love to read, but I know audiobooks are the thing where people like to hear. When I read Britney Spears memoir, I read it as her. When I listened and I heard Michelle Williams, I wasn't getting the same, you know, Even though I think it's a great book, I like it better. Better when you can.

B (81:49)

Yes. And just like, the even, like, Jeanette McCurdy's, like, stuff being in her voice, like, it's so powerful. We would be doing a disservice to the girlies not to do an audiobook. So I think we both definitely know we're going to. I was writing the other day about the first time I ever stole because I was on, like, a mission to get my first phone and to get Hannah Montana tickets. And so I, like, stole stuff. And then I had this big grand scheme and the whole, like, point of the story is how I was adopting my. My dad's, like, poor morals. And, like, as a little kid, I Was kind of like adopting them. But as I was writing it, I would like be redoing sentences. I was like, needs a phone. Like I had to like, like because even though like just writing and it was like. And I wanted a cell phone. But then I was like, but that's not how I would like audiobook it. So I would like redo it and

A (82:34)

be like, especially you, you're known for your story times and you're like over enthusiasm for them. So. Yeah, to have like just a generic book like when it makes sense for

B (82:41)

you, carry my voice. It's like overly my voice. Honestly, there are a lot of parts where I'll like, because you know how like sometimes I'll be talking to you and I'll be like, and why did they do that? Like I do that a lot. Like, like and then I filmed not love. Like I talked. So a lot of sentences in my book are like periods in all caps. Like it'll be like, and why did he do that? Like, because I want people to be able to read it. Yes.

A (83:03)

And they'll hear your voice.

B (83:05)

Yeah, but it makes you so aware of your, your like cadence almost and

A (83:11)

how you taught how you tell your story and yeah.

B (83:13)

And even like there was like another sentence where like basically like I. I was talking about like someone being like a idiot. Right. But I was being like in this idiot did this and whatever. And like that's not necessarily stellar A level writing.

A (83:27)

Yes.

B (83:28)

Right. Like I don't want to write like back to back.

A (83:30)

Yes.

B (83:31)

But that is how I would deliver my thoughts towards that sentence. So I like wrote three times like,

A (83:36)

you know what I mean should. Which I feel like again that's you and that's what your audience wants to hear from you. You have so many like titles you could do for years because you're known for your story times. Other people call like story time because like literally like you have so many titles still.

B (83:48)

Your book title. I know it and I think about

A (83:50)

it to announce it.

B (83:51)

I think about it daily because it's so perfect and I have not like found mine. Like I like you. Like, I'm sure that you were like, could you tell us maybe like one of your titles that didn't make it.

A (84:06)

I actually had really bad titles before this one and this one. This one is something that like I use in my day to day life. So it was like made sense and like it made everything. I had some bad. I think my original one was this is so bad. But me, I love to like, I love to parody things or like, in my head, I was gonna do a song to release with the book. So I love Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. So I was like, ooh, Confessions of a Former Middle Aged Drama Queen. But it's so long and they may publish it. Were like, this is. This is very niche. Yeah, I, like, loved it.

B (84:34)

But you found the title.

A (84:36)

Yes.

B (84:37)

And then the.

A (84:37)

It's so funny. So then they came up with a bunch of ones. One of them was, God, what the. What the hell is. They made my other podcast. What was that one with Colleen. Not just stretch. Could you imagine? Like, no. What was that one called?

B (84:50)

The Way. I don't know.

A (84:51)

Oh, my God, the Way. I don't know.

B (84:54)

Ow, my back. What?

A (84:55)

Was it okay? Yes, yes.

B (84:58)

Not probably, but it's fine.

A (85:00)

Oversharing. That was what. And they didn't even know my podcast, obviously, with her. Who remembers that? But they were like, oh, over sharing was one.

B (85:05)

There was.

A (85:06)

Yeah, there was a bunch of titles. And then, like, none of them felt right. And then. Yes. Actually someone else came up with the title again. It's a title that's been in my life and I use it for other things. But, yeah, then I was like, oh, of course. This one. This one.

B (85:18)

Yes.

A (85:18)

Because it's.

B (85:19)

It's very all encompassing. And that's what I'm looking for is something that is me. Iconic, all encompassing. But I, like, I can't find it. I don't know.

A (85:29)

I feel like when you also, like, talk to other people around you and stuff like that, and basically what happened, like, with mine, like, 20, like, probably 10 different people were giving ideas and just like, becomes like, a thing. And then you just go through. You're like, no, no, no. And then you just know when it happens. You're like, oh, yeah, that's. And it probably will. Like, I. Sophia with an app just came out with the daddy issues.

B (85:45)

Such an insane title. Like, so. Yeah, the. Even Jeanette McCurdy, like, people are just so. Yeah, like, the blueprint.

A (85:52)

That's.

B (85:52)

That is really where I'm lacking. I'm like, I love the meat of this book, but I do not have, like, the oh, my God title yet.

A (85:57)

You'll find it. And once it is, because you do have so many things that relate to you that I feel like you'll find it.

B (86:02)

I hope I do.

A (86:03)

Yeah, you'll know once you do, regardless.

B (86:04)

Even if it's just like, here's the book. Damn. Like, that's the time. Like, whatever. Like, I'm just happy to put it out, you know?

A (86:10)

Yeah, no, me. It's gonna be good ones.

B (86:12)

So excited. And she also was done with the COVID art, too. Like, I just can't wait for everyone to see. Like, it's. So we have a cover.

A (86:17)

Have a reveal in two weeks. Two weeks. I can show it.

B (86:20)

I'm just. I'm gonna be the biggest cheerleader. I'm so excited.

A (86:23)

Thank you. And likewise. I love when people come out with books. I'm a big memoir fan, so I like.

B (86:26)

Me too. It's my favorite. Everyone's always trying to get me to read some Colleen Hoover. I need real pain.

A (86:31)

I need a real.

B (86:32)

I need real person.

A (86:33)

You're a girl. We're talking about that soft camera, too. It's just like, you are so. I do come from a background of, like, being jealous. We were talking about. We're talking about on camera. Off camera. I can't remember where it was. Like, I do feel like back in the day, if, like, someone got a brand deal or someone got something, I would always just be, like, a little seething. I'd be like, well, that means I won't get it that suc. I should have done it first or what? And you are such a girls girl in that way. And I feel like now I am because I'm just, like, old. But you, you've always been that way, even with your friends. Like, you're always. I think you said this off camera too. You're like, everyone should be able to do everything.

B (87:00)

Like, everyone should like, that there's a. There's enough room at the table for everyone and everyone to eat. And sending the elevator back down to help people, you know what I mean, Is so important. And just, like, hyping up your friends. Yeah. Like, it's. Are you kidding me?

A (87:14)

Like, that's your best.

B (87:16)

But, like, because for every negative thought that could be towards something, like, all, like, I'm sitting here and I'm like, we're both releasing books. Like, that's so cool. Like, just another one of our parallels where we're, like, aligned. Like, to me, that's just, like, makes me feel like I'm. And I get to sit with you. And at one point, we're gonna sit down for something like this, and we're both gonna be published authors. Well, you're actually already a published author.

A (87:36)

I mean, self published.

B (87:37)

Yes.

A (87:37)

But I took the book down because I'm like, this book is okay, a good book. So take them all down. I did take them all down because

B (87:42)

I didn't want the.

A (87:42)

I don't want there to be like confusion. And also I'm like, not proud of those books because it's like just so many like spelling errors grab my. I did it myself. So like, there was no publisher, there's no editor. There was like nothing.

B (87:49)

Yeah, but how cool that even at the time you're like, I want to be an author. And you did it. You know, you put the words to the paper. It's hard. It's very hard.

A (87:55)

Yeah, it is. It does take years. Everyone always says that. It does actually take years. Even when you're done with the actual like manuscript, like it takes like six months to publish and then another six months. It's like a whole thing.

B (88:04)

Yeah, I know. I wish, I almost wish I didn't go so hard on talking about it like, so. Because it's like it's gonna be. Be some time before mine. Yeah.

A (88:10)

And they, they always are telling me like, stop talking about. Stop talking about. Because they do like a big reveal to drive sales to like, it's a whole thing. But I'm like, whatever. I've been talking about it. You've been talking about it for so long and it's just like, whatever. That's just what we do.

B (88:18)

But that also. Yeah, that's a, that's like us being ourselves and B, like just shows that. Cuz obviously a lot of other people. So something that would always bother me is influencers having just full ghost writers. I'm not saying like having writers help you and having editors help you is the most normal thing in the world.

A (88:34)

World.

B (88:35)

But like stories that weren't even theirs or like, like someone just read someone's Wikipedia and then wrote a whole book and like for them and they put their name on it. Like I just, you know, it's to sit at a computer every day and detail your life and to sit with people every day and detail your life and make sure that everything is right and go over it a million times does take time.

A (88:53)

Yeah. The formatting is what I need to help with. And obviously the way I like write is very like run on sentence and it's like I just need to help with formatting the way I. It was with a book. But yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. To like tell your own story in your own words is like such a powerful thing.

B (89:05)

This has inspired me. I think I'm gonna go home and write some more.

A (89:08)

I love it and I love the book writing. But like, you know, I mean, it's like writing your life. That's why on all both this podcast and just trish I feel like I've been bringing up so much of my past and people like, why is she talking about this person? It's like, because it was like so heavy on my mind because I just did like three chapters about this person,

B (89:20)

you know, that's what. And did you find this? It's so funny. It's like whatever chapter I'm in and I'm writing, I obviously have to sit, sit in that head space for like, for that amount of time. And I, I notice it like with the negative. I definitely notice it. Like when I was writing about my like, dad having a kid before me and like, just like all my childhood thoughts, I was recently writing about all of that. Like, you know, about having a brother that I didn't know and like all these things and I was carrying that heaviness with like, with me super heavy for like weeks. And then I just got to this chapter where like, you know, my brother had like left and then like, I was noticing myself starting to do things for boys and like, my first crush wanted a girl with the phone. So I like, I was like, I have to get a phone. Like, he broke up with me because I didn't have a phone. So I'm writing about like him breaking up with me because I didn't have a cell phone. And then obviously like, no one was buying it for me and I was raised with these horrible morals. So like, I was no holds bounds to get this phone. And. But that time was very like, funny. Like, you know what I mean? It's like I'm like stealing from like, I, I don't want to like, give away too much, but just what, what I did to get the phone and the Hannah Montana tickets was truly like no 11 year old should have been this diabolical. Like, I was diabolical. And. But it's, but it's funny. It's like, like now writing about it and like after writing about that, I was like in the best mood because I was like, it was so funny and just like, you like can look

A (90:39)

back at things, I think with like mine too. I like look back at things with like such a different like, lens and like, some are funny, some it's like, okay, Trish, you were wild for that one. You know, like, you can look at it and it can be so much more healing because I really, really try hard not to like, victimize myself in the book.

B (90:54)

Yeah.

A (90:54)

As much as possible because I'm like, okay. Can reflect and be like, that was a little crazy. Yeah.

B (90:58)

That is also the thing Too, Too. Because some things are just your opinion, but you want to tell things factually. Like, I definitely, like, even, like, I noticed that, like, in the beginning of writing my book, when I was writing about my parents a lot more, I was a lot meaner. And then, like, as I've healed, I noticed that my writing is a lot less like these. You know, my mom was so incompetent and more like, my mom was so depressed. Yeah, right. Like, it's like, I noticed that, like, as I heal, the style is almost different because of, like, empathy for these things, you know?

A (91:32)

But that's a good way. And then it's then that way also the reader there doesn't feel so, like, emotion attached to some things. It's like, oh, it is just matter of fact, this is what it was and this is. Or how you can see things now differently. That's growing up and that's life. And I can't wait to read to yours. Oh, my God. It's gonna be very, very cool. We'll literally have our books here. Instead of these little phones, we'll just have our little books here. What was our best? We'll have our bed stands, and each book can be. Oh, my God, it's really cute. The bed's in the garage. We just got to bring it in, cuz drip domes coming. It's a whole thing. Okay.

B (91:59)

I can't wait for our bed. And I love not Loveline. And I love entering this bubble. And thank you guys for giving us that.

A (92:03)

Thank you. We're going over to patreon. Patreon.com. not loveline.

B (92:07)

Yes, we are. Oh, we're about to get messy over there. I just feel like a spiller today. I'm a spiller today.

A (92:11)

Spiller. This should have been a Patreon episode.

B (92:13)

It is. We're spilling.

A (92:14)

See ya. Bye.