RED FLAGS, TRAVELLING WITH CRAZY FRIENDS AND MORE! | NOT LOVELINE Ep 73

Summary

NOT LOVELINE Ep 73: “RED FLAGS, TRAVELLING WITH CRAZY FRIENDS AND MORE!”
Hosts: Tana Mongeau & Trish Paytas
Date: June 16, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Not Loveline is packed with candid conversations, playful banter, and real talk as Tana and Trisha field call-in questions about red flags in relationships, the complications of traveling with wild friends, fashion nostalgia, self-healing, and more. The duo draw upon their own lived experiences—no expert advice here, just plenty of honesty and humor—as they offer support and relatable stories about navigating toxic dating, setting boundaries, rediscovering identity, and keeping connections alive amid life’s chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Healing, Fashion Nostalgia & Embracing Pink (00:00 - 09:08)

• On Letting Go and “Not Missing Out” On Soulmates
  • Tana emphasizes, “You’re not missing out on your soulmate because if you and that person are meant to be and you leave on that red flag, you will run into them again and they could have healed and grown from that and you guys could get back together. Like, continue to live your life without that fear.” (00:00)
• Don't Date Your Siblings (Humor)
  • [Laughing] “Don’t date your brother. I don’t know if we’ve ever said that here on Not Loveline.” (00:14)
• Fashion Throwbacks: BB shirts, '00s Malls, Juicy Tracksuits
  • Both reminisce about Y2K fashion, BB stores, and the mall era, highlighting how the simplicity of those times represented comfort and community.
    • “I’m loving a BB moment because I swear life was just simpler. Like when malls were... the be all, end all.” (03:11, Tana)
    • “There will never be a feeling like walking into BB with your tax refund!” (03:36, Trisha)
• Wearing Pink and Emotional Healing
  • Tana and Trisha discuss the “pink theory”—loving the color pink as a sign of self-acceptance and healing:
    • “They say that when you’re healed, like, you love pink and colors and so many things and, like, embracing your femininity, like, so much more... that really happened to me...” (05:17, Tana)
    • “Getting your pink back is like when flamingos give birth and then they get pink two years later.” (06:28, Trisha)
• Motherhood and Identity
  • Trisha shares how regaining her sense of self has been a post-pregnancy process: “I actually feel myself again... being pregnant for four years, kind of took a toll.” (06:44)

2. On Pregnancy, Work, and Facing the Unknown (07:01 - 09:08)

• Working Through Pregnancy
  • Trisha notes increased work opportunities while pregnant, and both discuss the fear of the unknown.
    • “The unknown is scary, but also necessary for change and growth every day... I’m always thankful for a change.” (08:39, Trisha)
• Family & Self-Reliance
  • The importance of family and relying on oneself is underscored. “No matter what happens, you have you, and, like, you will find a way to work it.” (08:48, Tana)

3. Pet Parent Life & Teeth Talk (09:23 - 13:23)

• Dog Parent Parallels & Nature vs. Nurture
  • Tana describes her “helicopter parent” tendencies with her dog Buster and notices weird similarities: “He has more teeth than me, though.” (10:37)
• Delaying Dental Work Due to Unknowns
  • Tana explains her hesitation about another dental procedure because of previous pain and swelling.
    • “The first time I... got them, I looked like the moon emoji for, like, three weeks.” (11:09, Tana)
• Don’t Rush into Veneers:
  • “I’m the poster child. Don’t get veneers unless you know everything about them.” (12:38, Tana)

4. Embracing the Raspy Voice & Apology Videos (12:45 - 16:03)

• Voice Confidence
  • Tana finds empowerment seeing Miley Cyrus’s raspy voice: “She makes me feel so much more confident in my voice, genuinely. And my voice is also very self inflicted...” (12:54)
• Favorite Apology Videos (YouTube Lore)
  • Trisha jokes about the overabundance and intensity of YouTuber apologies:
    • “It is so crazy to see which ones were, like, not that serious, but everyone took so seriously. And which ones were like, why wasn’t this taken more seriously?” (14:07, Trisha)
  • Trisha praises Tana’s heartfelt Tanacon apology:
    • “You were just like... you took responsibility, took accountability for everything, even though everything wasn’t your fault.” (14:42)
  • Tana reflects on outside influence and insecurity when making public apologies:
    • “It’s not only the thing that you are apologizing for, but it’s so many other factors in your brain...” (15:01)

5. Reflections on Tanacon & Learning from Failure (18:48 - 20:40)

• Impact on Fan Relationships
  • Tana discusses the pain of letting down fans in person vs. online.
• Doing Things for the Wrong Reasons
  • “Nothing should ever be done in spite... I wasn’t spiting my fans, I was spiting VidCon.” (19:24, Tana)
• Musical Possibilities
  • Trisha pitches a “Tanacon” musical theater piece.
    • “A Tanacon like one woman show on Broadway..." (20:13, Trisha)

6. Gambling, Dreams, and Vegas Tales (20:41 - 25:53)

• Lottery, Gambling, and Casino Stories
  • Trisha discusses her recurring dreams about winning the lottery and casino nightmares: “My nightmares have been in casinos... demons would drag me from the table.” (21:33)
  • Tana shares her love for roulette and slots, but warns against believing in slot machine “luck”: “It is the worst way to gamble... it’s just randomized.” (22:45)
  • Trisha: “Don’t they like reset it if you win?... they like make it so you like, don’t win for like... the rest of it.” (23:16)
• Vegas Clubbing in Sobriety
  • Tana reflects on visiting Vegas clubs now that she’s sober.
    • “A Vegas nightclub is not the same sober... after 20 minutes I was like, get me to the table.” (24:52, Tana)
  • Both enjoy the idea of attending events just long enough to get cute photos.

7. Audience Questions & Real-Life Scenarios

Spiritual Energy in Cities (25:53 - 29:35)

• Are LA and Vegas “Low Vibrational” Cities?
  • Both agree there is dark energy, but Trisha asserts the importance of what you make of it:
    • “You can block it out with whatever you have. Someone’s always negative around you, but you can have that positive energy.”
  • Tana: “Every city has its low vibrational aspects... it’s about what you put out.”
  • Emphasis on seeking and valuing good connections and being grateful for the positive people found even in tough environments.

Red Flags in Dating & Soulmate Discourse (35:32 - 41:47)

• Should You Ever Stay After Spotting a Red Flag?

  • Tana: “Some people do work it out. Some people grow together... but at the same time, I don’t think I believe that if you’re not putting up with red flags... you’re missing out on your soulmate.” (35:46)
  • Trisha describes how she and Moses had a rough, even “crazy toxic” start, but fate/universe kept pulling them together until they matured as a couple. “The only reason I talk about it is because... we worked through it.” (36:11)
  • Both address the importance of discernment and trusting yourself, distinguishing between deal-breaker red flags and minor quirks.

  Notable Quotes:

  • “If it’s meant for you, it would have been there.” (36:11, Trisha)
  • “Continue to live your life without that fear. You will find your person and just, like, continue to have fun until then.” (38:30, Tana)

Dating Someone with the Same Name as a Sibling (43:14 - 47:38)

• Caller wonders: Could you date someone with your brother’s name?
  • Tana: “If I like the person, I’d be like, how funny is this?” (45:01)
  • Trisha: “Yeah, I agree. I’m not gonna say no...” (45:15)
  • Both suggest nicknames happen naturally and, unless the shared name is a deal-breaker, don’t overthink it.

What To Do When Life Collapses (Breakups, Job Loss, Health Crisis) (48:03 - 56:03)

• Caller lost partner, job, and mobility (due to broken back)

  • Tana and Trisha are deeply empathetic:
    • “There will always be a new normal... sometimes the worst thing ever happens to you... but there is going to be another side.” (49:00, Tana)
    • “There is always purpose to the pain. You just have to find it.” (54:08, Tana)
  • They recommend writing, affirmations, finding new creative outlets, and reframing the struggle as a time for creative growth.

• Turning Pain Into Purpose

  • “How can I turn this horrible thing I’m going through into my new purpose in life?... Maybe you end up... as a physical therapist...” (53:16, Tana)

Travelling With Difficult Friends (58:13 - 62:36)

• Sex On the Floor Next To You – What Now?
  • Tana: “Open and honest communication is so important when it comes to traveling with friends... If you don’t want to share a room, that’s okay!” (59:42)
  • Both stress setting clear boundaries and only going on trips you feel comfortable with.
  • Trisha: “Sometimes people are just so insufferable that you don’t need to go on the trip... that can be answer number one.” (61:12)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Don’t date your siblings. It’s kind of important.” (47:32, Tana, in peak Not Loveline spirit)
• “Your life does change and you do attract different things when you start vibrating higher by choice.” (34:15, Tana)
• “If there’s one thing for sure, if you’re given another day on this earth, is like, you’ll make it through.” (57:20, Trisha)
• “Continue to have fun until then... you will find your person.” (39:06, Tana)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00 – Soulmate FOMO & Red Flags; “Don’t date your brother” moment
• 03:00 – BB/Mall nostalgia
• 05:17 – Pink theory & healing
• 07:39 – Working through pregnancy & unknowns
• 11:09 – Delaying dental work (Tana’s ‘moon emoji’ swelling story)
• 14:42 – Tanacon apology video legacy
• 22:45 – Gambling in Vegas: “Slot machines are just randomized.”
• 24:52 – Vegas clubs, nightlife sober edition
• 25:53 – Spiritual energy in LA and Vegas
• 36:11 – Red flags in dating; when to stay or go
• 45:01 – Dating someone with your brother’s name: don’t overthink if it’s right
• 49:00 – Life “three-peat” (breakup, job loss, health problems): grief and moving forward
• 54:08 – Reframing pain as purpose and new beginnings
• 59:42 – Travelling with problem friends: boundary setting and consent

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Tone, Language, and Chemistry

Playful, candid, authentically conversational, and deeply encouraging—Tana and Trisha offer their signature blend of humor (“Don’t date your siblings!”), heartfelt relatability, and sage-by-experience insight. Each segment balances real vulnerability with self-deprecating comedy, making even the toughest topics approachable and validating.

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Takeaways For Listeners

• Healing and self-love come in waves—and sometimes with new favorite colors and rediscovered passions.
• Not all red flags are equal; trust your discernment and don’t be afraid to walk away.
• Low moments in life don’t last forever, and creative reframing can transform pain into purpose.
• Boundaries matter—in both friendships and travel.
• Name quirks aren’t deal-breakers if the connection is real, and humor helps most things.
• It’s okay to get honest, get silly, and get through it—together.

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Transcript

[Trisha Paytas]

If you.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're not missing out on your soulmate because if you and that person are meant to be and you leave on that red flag, you will run into them again and they could have healed and grown from that and you guys could get back together. Like, continue to live your life without that fear.

[Trisha Paytas]

As long as that's your actual brother.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Yeah. Don't date your brother. I don't know if we've ever said that here on Not Loveline. Don't date your siblings. Hello. Not loveliners.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Tana Mongeau]

We just did extremely hard, agile, physical, strenuous work outside.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, we were doing a tick tock.

[Tana Mongeau]

We made a tick tock tick tock. It was. Who are we? We were being Brooke Monk and we

[Trisha Paytas]

were Leah Halt and yes, Brooke Monk. My two favorite people. I was worried. I was like, oh my God. Because I did the brick monk, like hiking 20 miles thing and I thought it was so cutesy. Like, I thought it was cutesy. And then people like, not, not so many. I was saying I have to get better. This one, like, everybody said it was like five comments that were like, oh, is this like making fun of Brooke? That's so me. And it's like, I love her so much. She's like my new hyper fixation. Like, I'll find like a new influencer. That's like, cute. And I'm like, oh, who's this person? And I know she's massive, but she's a massive creator.

[Tana Mongeau]

I didn't know about her until Makoa's little sister. She was like, I love her. And she was showing me. She like keeps up with all of that. Like the Natalie Reynolds and like all of those, like, those are her. So I almost think that that's like their views are like a little younger and stuff. And I don't ever get like the dances and the trends and stuff. But I love, like, I think it's camp to do an occasional one. Especially like if I can lip sync it. I'm like, yes, popular.

[Trisha Paytas]

That trend is like, not just them, but they got 18 million on there. So I'm like, we're doing this and I do love at the end. And maybe that's why they got the 18 million. Either it's because they're hot or their camera person fell at the end. And I saw behind the scenes of it because they do. They're those kind of tick tockers. Right, love? I wish we had another person on hand because I'd have Moses filming behind the scenes of us. It showed them filming and him falling. So you see the. The cameraman in that angle and you

[Tana Mongeau]

get all the angles and they're. Oh, my God, so smart. Camilla does a lot of that too, where they're just milking the same moment and making money. It is crazy to me, but we were twinning in our bb. We went outside a lot today, too. Like, randomly, like, I feel like twice for two minutes. But, like. But we never go outside. Like, when we're here, we, like, we don't see the sun at all. And today we've really been, like, romping around Trisha's house for, like, two minutes.

[Trisha Paytas]

But we're also like, this is very Beni Hana, where it's like, you don't see Arbor Vegas, where you don't see what time it is. So it's just like, where are we? What's the time?

[Tana Mongeau]

The not Loveline set is very Vegas Casino. Like, in the regard that you don't know what time, you don't know where the sun is. You don't like you. We just lock in.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

So it was fun.

[Trisha Paytas]

When you leave, it's like, well, like, lighter now that it's like, going later. But I also. It was also giving Regina George and Cool mom, which I like, love. And I was saying it's not even that crazy because she. Stop it. But I'm like, Amy Poehler was 10 years older than Rachel McAdams when they did that. So in theory, we are the cool mom and mean girl. Because it was giving Regina and what's her name? Cool Mom. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the mom's name. Honestly, I don't. But it's so funny because she'll be like, it's giving mom and daughter. And to me, I'm like, girl, you. You're literally the fountain of youth. Like, I don't think we look like

[Trisha Paytas]

cute little skirt in the boots. And then I'm in, like, mom leggings, which I, like, love. I own it.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but this is why. And, like, I want this exact shirt and these exact pants to be y2k about it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Crazy, because I copied you. You had a BB shirt on maybe, like, I don't know, two months ago. And I was like, I need this bb. And it came out. And the hair, too. When I saw the bronze, I'm like, I need to do bra, too. So you wanting to be me is me wanting to be you?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we both just go back and forth, but I just. I'm loving a BB moment because I Swear life was just simpler. Like when malls were like when. When going to the mall was the be all, end all. And everyone went to the mall. And like the smells and like the. The. You'd get the cinnamon pretzel and like, you'd go into BB and like, I wouldn't buy any. I would just look around. I was like, you know what I mean? Like, all of that, it just reminds me the romanticization of malls. Like we are.

[Trisha Paytas]

I loved it. I remember so specifically bb. It must have been at the fashion show mall. It was so nice. And it was a thing in the Aladdin shop too. There was two BB stores and we were like 15. And my mom went after like the tax payday, whether you get money back, whatever that is. And I remember we went to Vegas and she spent like $1,500 at BB. And we were not rich. And my sister and I were decked out in bb. And it was the coolest thing because we could never afford it. And we're like, wow. We went to Vegas and we got BB and it had like, BB Vegas. So it was like this big BB Vegas special edition.

[Tana Mongeau]

Jack, I'm gonna be on deep hop a hunting.

[Trisha Paytas]

Okay. So it was like this like, crop. It'd be so cute on you. It was like this white, but it had like pink metallic. And then it's like BB and I and we had one that was actually black and it had like the Vegas sign and it said BB on it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my gosh.

[Trisha Paytas]

Las Vegas. It was so cool.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love, like, Vegas. I buy Vegas, March on depop all the time. I don't know what it is, though. I really did also think that Y2K was gonna be like a phase for me. Like, dressing Y2K would be like. And I did, like, dial it back a little. Like, I'm not in a juicy tracksuit all the time, but like me, like, no, I love. But I'm let one's cute though. Just the pink one. I got tired with it for a second.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, that gives way cool mom.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I just. I felt like every brand ever, every shoot ever, I was always in a pink. The pink juicy tracksuit. To the point though, that I like, never want to see a photo of myself in one again. I don't know if brands think I'm going to sell their product better if I'm in a pink tracksuit.

[Caller 1]

I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's always in my contracts. It's always like Tana in pink tracksuit. I guess if anything, it is like, it's very Paris Hilton and it's very. Like, the fact that they want me to do that is, like, iconic, you know, But I'm just. I could never wear one again. And I've worn it enough.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I feel that with pink, my own standards and just church, I'm like, I need to wear pink every episode. And so now I'm like, sick of pink. Any other time. But when I used to show up to meet greets not wearing pink, and everyone was in pink, and I'm like, all right, we're going pink. We're going back to pink.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I do love pink. Have you seen like, okay, and I hate, Like, I'm not big on the. Like, have you seen the Matcha Theory? Have you seen the Air1 theory? Like, there's a theory for everything nowadays, and not everything needs a theory, but the pink theory. Like, a lot of girls I feel like, will, like, hate pink. And then, like, people say, like, the. And I was one of those. I didn't really like wearing pink. I wasn't, like, super into it. Like, it wasn't my favorite color or anything. And they say that when you're healed, like, you love pink and colors and so many things and, like, embracing your femininity, like, so much more. And I feel like that really happened to me, like, where now I love pink and I love wearing color.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Wearing that. Actually, me too. Because I went through a phase where I'm like, no more pink. I got rid of all my hello Kitty and now I love pink again. So I believe it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I, like, I was only wearing black and like, that made me feel hard. Like, you know what I mean? And like, now I'm like, I might have just changed the tone of my hair, though. This could all be no theory.

[Trisha Paytas]

Pink just looks good with my hair tone.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, for a while, I felt like Teemu Barbie if I had pink. Like, when I was like, super platinum. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

That also was a vibe. Like, the Barbies. Like, the Barbie was like, the fashion before Barbie. Like, that was definitely, like, a huge thing where people were just tan with pink and platinum blonde and smokey eye.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like, girls next door did do that. I guess my self confidence, honestly, was just low. So I think I was like, I look like tew Barbie.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's so funny. I love. But I do love pink. I do. And they say, like, getting your pink back is like when flamingos give birth and then they get pink two years later. So you get your pink. But any situation, like, if you've lost your pink and you get your pink

[Tana Mongeau]

back, you're like, yeah, that's a perfect like it. That's exactly what I'm trying to explain. I have my pink back.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel the same. I finally felt like it today and I was like, wow. I actually feel myself again. And over the past four years, really, Even though the past four years have been great. I think the post, the pregnancy of it all. Being pregnant for four years, I'm like kind of took a toll. Even though I didn't. I love being on it. It's like such a weird feeling to

[Tana Mongeau]

not be your body and your hormones.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, you're like like I feel like a little normal today. Yeah, I felt normal then I felt happy. It just different kind.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is crazy to me that you like just like were pregnant for so long.

[Trisha Paytas]

Four years straight from 2021 to 2025

[Tana Mongeau]

and you had so much energy as a pregnant. I will never like forget this or let this go. Like if I am ever pregnant, which I don't, I don't know. Like again I'm a big adopter, big surrogate. Like that's where I see myself kind of going. If I ever am. Just know that like no one's getting a podcast. Like I. No one's. I'm not doing that. Tick tock. I'm horizont eating and, and crying and like watching Grey's Anatomy over again.

[Trisha Paytas]

I do love that I got my first pregnancy. I definitely was like not doing much and I loved it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

But I also weirdly had like the most opportunity ever career wise while pregnant. So I just took it. I was like, I need to take all this now because it's like you just, you never know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, I guess I say all of that but I also feel like being pregnant probably incites different. I don't want to say fears. I guess I could just say emotions. But also fears where you're like every dollar counts so much more. It means so much more. It's not just for my wants and my needs. It's for. So like if work is able to happen while you're pregnant, like you're not going to let it stop you. So I guess I'm lying.

[Trisha Paytas]

I also thought I was very much the same way where I thought like after the baby's here, I won't be able to work for like a year, you know, Even though not true, but that's also what I think. So I was like hoarding the work so in case I couldn't work for a year. Yeah, I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

And the unknown. There's so much Unknown. Especially with the first baby where you're like, who am I going to be after this? That, like, I still know who I am right now without this child. You know what I mean? Like, yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. It was really scary when Melbourne was born because we had, like, nothing going on. I had no podcast. Like, nothing. And I was like, what.

[Tana Mongeau]

What is gonna happen?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, what are we gonna do? It's just like, it was. It was all the unknown. But the unknown is scary, but also necessary for change and growth every day. So I'm. I'm always thankful for a change.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know I used to be so fearful of the unknown and afraid of the unknown and, like, hated it. And I think. I don't know. Getting older is like, you just realize that no matter what happens, you have you, and, like, you will find a way to work it. We were talking about that a lot off camera today. Like, being the type of person where it's like, just figure it out, and it's gonna be.

[Trisha Paytas]

Figure it out. And like you said, what matters is what you like. Family for me is like, that's it. Like, that's all that matters. Like, nothing else in life matters. Everything else is fun. But is it here, your food?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I think I'm just looking for water.

[Trisha Paytas]

Do you need another one? Oh, no, there's one right here.

[Caller 1]

I have.

[Trisha Paytas]

There's more in there, in the glamour.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's funny. I'm always talking, like, about Buster and how much he pees. Like, he is. I've never seen a little dog. Like, he. Like, for the amount of water he drinks and then the amount pee that he pees. I'm like, this doesn't calculate. Like, he just like, how. How are you making more pee?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, wait, but how do you know which water he drinks? Don't you just, like, always drinking water dogs? I don't know how that works.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't. I'm just very. I'm a hover. I'm like a helicopter parent when it comes to Buster. I don't trust him as far as I can see him. Like, my little son. He doesn't. He doesn't know much yet. Like, he's just. He's dumb.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yeah. Babies.

[Tana Mongeau]

So I like helicopter mother Buster. So I'm like, I see how much. And I'm pouring the water. Obviously, I see how much water. I know what's going in you, and I don't understand how triple comes out of you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, has he gone to a doctor? Maybe he's like a blad issue.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, what I was gonna Say is that I just. I realized today that, like, I'm the same way.

[Caller 1]

Oh.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like mother, like son.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Like, I go pee, like, so much, and I'm drinking so much, and, like,

[Trisha Paytas]

I don't know, there's some realness to that. Like, obviously, Buster is, like, your adopted son, you know, but they. They do say, even if it's not genetically, like, your baby, which, like, Buster, obviously not, like, genetically your baby, but, like, because you guys are together, he's like, you guys are becoming the same. It's kind of the nature versus nurture thing. Right. It's like you guys are becoming the same.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because you are so bonded, and you were always meant to be family, so maybe that's why you have so many similarities.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think we look alike, too. I swear. He has more teeth than me, though. He has a lot more teeth than me. I'm serious. Like. Well, I'm being, like, dead serious. What? The teeth under my teeth. Like, like, under my veneers, the amount of tooth I have, Like, Buster has more tooth than what? Factually.

[Trisha Paytas]

Those chompers.

[Tana Mongeau]

I know he has, like, veneers. Like, he really. They're straight. Yeah. I don't know what he did before me. He could have been, like, hustling in Miami. Like, you know, I really don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know, what happened to your teeth journey? You were supposed to be going on a seat journey. I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then I just didn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

You were supposed to do it early in the. Then it got postponed in May, and now are you just, like, not doing it?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's one of those things where almost the unknown that we were talking about where I don't know how much pain I'm going to be in. I don't know, like, what's going to happen. I don't know, like, how swollen I'm going to be. The first time I, like, ever got them, I looked like the moon emoji for, like, three weeks.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. Really?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's like that meme.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Of me sitting up in the bed. I look like that for two weeks straight.

[Trisha Paytas]

This is why I love you. I love that you recorded that, because I feel like I've recorded myself in the craziest situation.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's. I looked like a who from Whoville, but not even a cute one. Like, it was.

[Trisha Paytas]

But you also just woke up and, like, the. Or it looks like you just woke up because there's, like, a clip of you just, like, getting up. And I was like, what was it for?

[Tana Mongeau]

I honestly, I was on so Many painkillers. Like I was just vlogging it. I have no idea that like, all I really just remember from that time is like dark room, swollen face, being in so much pain. And honestly, just Hunter, Hunter did a lot for me. Like, I just remember him like helping me out, being there for me. That's really all I remember. But like, yeah, I keep pushing it off because like the podcast and different stuff, I'm just like, I don't have the time for the unknown of how ugly and in pain I'm going to be. I can't like book jobs and all the things, but I need to. I really do. I know new teeth are loading.

[Trisha Paytas]

I need to do the. I didn't get my implants out, but same. I'm like, I don't know like how the downtime is and what if there's like. You never know.

[Tana Mongeau]

It is scary. I know. Honestly, I'm like, I might take a tooth or two from Buster. He has too many anyways. Like he, he really has those veneers on him. Imagine I just had my dog's teeth in my mouth. That's where I'm at. Like, I'll take any options. I don't have any.

[Trisha Paytas]

Great though. I know they're probably like you said, you're like bothering you or something like that, but they look good.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're sweet. I just. So many discrepancies, but I'm the poster child. Don't get veneers unless you know everything about them.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's good. You were giving Miley there. That was good. Or Miley, from what I seen on Hannah Montana, she talks like that little dolly. You were complaining about your raspy voice earlier, like a couple episodes ago, but it's like Miley has a raspy voice, so you.

[Tana Mongeau]

She makes me feel so much more confident in my voice, genuinely. And my voice is also very self inflicted. So truly. Like, like my voice was so much higher. Even if you go to old videos and stuff. Like my voice was so much higher. And then I wanted to smoke like Snoop Dogg for like years and years and years, like in blunts or tobacco too, you know, like so like I lowered my own damn voice. So it's like as much as I don't like it, it's like, well, go tell that to the mirror.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, well, you know, it sounds good though. Yeah, I just, I like it.

[Caller 1]

Don't.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's funny because I love a rasp on anyone else. Like even Justine, my stylist, she just lost her voice and I was like, you sound so sexy. You give.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you lost your voice, but in a good way. Like, it's good. I like it. And I love it because I'm.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am a permanently lost voice. But. And I. Obviously the Valley girl, too. Like, there's a layer of, like, you add the vocal fry. Like, not on purpose. Not, like, not cognizantly, but, like, I just feel like over time, you, like, become so.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's good. The vocal fry. Like, apology video. We're just like, hey, guys. I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hey, guys. God, we should. I know you've done this for just Trish, but I would love.

[Trisha Paytas]

Let's do it.

[Tana Mongeau]

To react to, like, apology videos.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oscar's got the playlist. I'll just go. We didn't even get to all of them because there's so many. And it is so crazy. And I know we talked about. So I will keep it short, but it is so crazy to see which ones were, like, not that serious, but everyone took so seriously. And which ones were like, why wasn't this taken more seriously? But there's so many variations. Like, react. Brothers are pissed that you guys are mad that they're copywriting React. Like, and they're like, why are you pissed at us? They're like, you guys did this.

[Tana Mongeau]

I loved that.

[Trisha Paytas]

But it's. And then Zoella's apologizing for, like, her Advent calendar being $50 when there's, like, stickers in there. And she's like, so serious about it. I'm like, girl. Then you have, like, Laura Lee cry. There's just so many.

[Tana Mongeau]

There's so many.

[Trisha Paytas]

Remember was so genuine at 19 years old for the Tanacon, like yours was. And we said it. And it's not a bias because I like you, but I remember it being like, of all the ones who were watching Logan, Paul, watching everyone, David, everyone back to back, and I was just like, damn, yours was, like, so sincere. You could tell. You were just like. Because you took responsibility, took accountability for everything, even though everything wasn't your fault. And I was like, damn, girl, get.

[Tana Mongeau]

Say that. Because when I look back at all of my apology, I think it's. It's interesting because it's not only the thing that you are apologizing for, but it's so many other factors in your brain. Like, and I think that especially during that time, like, I just remember before any. Any time I needed to apologize, every big YouTuber feels the need to, like, at that time would feel the need to call you and tell you what to do and what they would do. And, like, in all these. And if you do this, this is going to happen. And like, my manager and like, just all of those different, like, factors that it doesn't just become like. Like, I almost look back and I'm like, I just wish that I, like, you know what I mean? Like, didn't have so much to like, make it so I don't know.

[Trisha Paytas]

The outside influence.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And, like, were you, like, listening to

[Trisha Paytas]

people, like, everybody's opinion and you let

[Tana Mongeau]

the what ifs get to your head? And I think that I just wasn't secure of who I am either.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, you.

[Tana Mongeau]

You read the comments, you're like, oh, my God, like, I am the worst person ever. And, like, this is all going to be over. And like, well, you know, like, where it's.

[Trisha Paytas]

You were, like, so hard on yourself, but you, like, really were like, I'm sorry, I take the. Which is crazy. Like, no one else was doing that to this day.

[Tana Mongeau]

I feel that way about Tanacon. I really do.

[Caller 1]

Wow. I just.

[Trisha Paytas]

Because you were 19, I think there's

[Tana Mongeau]

just a difference, I guess, of like, for me, at least.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you so much to Mars men for sponsoring today's episode of Not Love Lying. We do have quite a few men out there that watch. And you also may be thinking, okay, you guys talk a lot about. About girl stuff, but what if I'm feeling low energy? What is. What is this? Is there something wrong with me? I don't know. Do I? Just to go to therapy, Maybe. But also it could be something with your testosterone. Sometimes when your testosterone is lower, you can feel just not yourself. Maybe you don't have the energy. You're not feeling yourself at work, at home, you don't have the energy to go to the gym, sex drive lower. There's just so many things. And this could happen as early as your 30s. Obviously, when you get older, men sometimes lose their pizzazz for life and it's just not talked about enough. Men feel certain things, and because they're men, they can't talk about what they're feeling. Well, you're not alone if you need testosterone support and Mars men is there to provide it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And honestly, also, it's the worst on the other side too. If you're dating someone and you feel like, why don't they want to hook up with me? And like, I'm doing everything and like, they're just not showing up with energy or they're not showing up excited like they used to be. And sometimes it actually is a deficit. And I feel like men's mental Health, you know, should be normalized.

[Trisha Paytas]

Absolutely. It's not talked about very often, but tons of men deal with low testosterone levels starting as early as their 30s. And men's testosterone does affect everything. Energy, mood, confidence, motivation, sex drive, workouts, recovery and everything. When their testosterone levels are low, a lot of men just aren't themselves anymore. But this really doesn't have to be such a big problem for so many men.

[Tana Mongeau]

Mars Men is a natural solution that allows men to support their testosterone and improve the way they feel every day. It contains eight natural ingredients that are all backed by science and specifically chosen to support healthy T levels, energy and stamina. A lot of the testosterone enhancing supplements on the market don't contain proper dosages, but Mars Men actually utilizes clinical doses of each ingredient to support real results.

[Trisha Paytas]

Plus, it's hormone free, non gmo, vegan and third party tested. In a world where the solution seems to increasingly be needle synthetics or drugs, it's very refreshing to see a company that uses all natural ingredients and the

[Tana Mongeau]

results speak for themselves. 91% of men said they felt they have higher energy after using Mars men. 82% said that they noticed improved male vitality after using this product and 87% said they noticed increased strength. Long term users often report better sleep, mood stability and an overall sense of well being.

[Trisha Paytas]

So if man in your life is struggling with low energy, lack of motivation, moodiness or confidence, Mars Men is the much needed solution designed to help them feel feel like they're in their 20s again.

[Tana Mongeau]

For a limited time, our listeners get 50 off for life plus free shipping and three free gifts@ Mengotomars.com that's men. Go to Mars.com for 50 off and three free gifts. When you check out after your purchase they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Not Loveline sent you. Thank you Mars for sponsoring this episode of Not Loveline.

[Tana Mongeau]

There's nothing I love more in the world than the girls who support me and like, just like they, they saved life, you know what I mean? They changed my life. I want to do nothing but make them proud, make them happy and keep them safe and like be their safe space, be their bestie, like be all of the things. So I think it's one thing to digitally let like people down. It's another to like let people down face to face when your intentions are to not let them down. Like that's what I'm saying.

[Trisha Paytas]

Your intentions were good. There was no malice. You were not scamming you're trying to give.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was scamming, but I think that it was a big lesson to me that, like, nothing should ever be done in spite. Even though I wasn't spiting my fans, I was fighting Vidcon. Do you know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

People supported that. Every creator did. David Dobrik, Shane Dawson, everybody was worst examples now, but like, you know, at the time there was such big influential creators and like Emma Chamberlain, like, all those people, people supported it because they understood why the movement was. And it was.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I really wonder if, like, it wasn't done out of spite and it was done with a completely rational mind. I obviously was very, very young, and I do wish that I had people around me that were smarter and telling me no. But at the same time, I could argue that I wouldn't have listened to them. Like, I'm just saying if, like, let's say, like, what if in that time I was like, okay, I'm not gonna do it this year. I'm gonna take a year to. But I still would have gone with that guy because I've been to his conventions. Like, some things might just be how

[Trisha Paytas]

it was meant to be. I do see it as like, literally like a Broadway musical or a TV show or a movie, like a series. I do see it specifically, just that even event, your whole life story could be that. But I honestly think, like a Tanacon, like one woman show on Broadway or like a Broadway musical, maybe it's a huge ensemble doing it.

[Tana Mongeau]

You are if you are Tana.

[Trisha Paytas]

I so can't. Me just being like 30 years older than you were at the time and be like, I will a thousand percent do it, and I'm gonna one day, if I win the lottery, I'm back to playing lottery. I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna get it made.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you back to lottery?

[Trisha Paytas]

I'm back to lottery.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what's so crazy, Trisha is like, I could just really see you for some reason, like, yeah, me too. Like, just who you are. Like, like you're winning the lottery.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, I've had so many dreams of these, like, specific numbers, and they've never been called ever. And I'm like, well, I'm definitely gon.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, and you have your numbers and you do the same numbers every time

[Trisha Paytas]

for literally five years now.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm surprised you numbers and having your numbers made me think of roulette. And like, just like, that's where my mind went. Because I'm a gambler. I'm surprised that You. You don't gamble.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think because in my dream, I saw myself winning this.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

I remember having the ticket and calling, like, a lawyer in security instantly to just, like, guard me with their lives. Because it was like, literally like a billion dollar jackpot. And I need to call everybody. And I wouldn't even, like, drive to, like, my mom's house. I'm like, come to me. Like, I was very, like, in my dream. Like, I won this. And so I think that's why. I think if I had a vision that I, like, won at the crap stable, I probably would.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I want you to have a vision so that we can do it.

[Trisha Paytas]

My nightmares have been in casinos. Like, I will be like, when I was on drugs, I would be, like, paranoid and I'd be like, I'd be in casinos and the demons would drag me from the table from the. I'd be, like, leaning over and they'd grab my arm and drag me down. I only happened, like, three times. But I think that's why I'm kind of scared to gamble. Loki. But I never told you because you love it. And I want to go with you and overcome that fear because I don't think the demons can get.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think we can rewrite it. I think you would love roulette.

[Trisha Paytas]

I think so too, because I was, like, on drugs.

[Tana Mongeau]

But that is, like, That's a crazy dream. I really do.

[Trisha Paytas]

Roulette. I think it was the one where you throw the dice.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Craps. Craps. To me, this is my take. I don't know. They're all men's games, actually. But, like, craps is, like, such a manly game. Like, it's a bunch of men around a table, like, screaming at each other. To where, like, you can sit at a roulette table and, like, catch a vibe and, like, be cute.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, I'll do it with you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I'll go scream with the men and play craps. Like, I'm not making you. That wouldn't make you, like, gambling? Yeah, yeah. Like, you'd be like, what the is this? Like, you know, no, I want to

[Trisha Paytas]

do it with you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And we have to do the Britney Spears slots in the Cosmo before.

[Trisha Paytas]

I've never seen them.

[Tana Mongeau]

They're so cute. They're pink and purple and glittery. And Ashley loves them and she always wins on them because she loves Britney.

[Trisha Paytas]

You should have a Tana slot machine. That's so your brand.

[Tana Mongeau]

Trisha slot machine.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God. I feel like it's you Solo.

[Tana Mongeau]

I would love.

[Trisha Paytas]

I know me I love to be in anything, but I feel like that's so your thing.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do love slots. And you're saying this. Slots are wrong though. Like, like all the gambling. All the gambling. Like aficionados and like, even dealers. Like, I've obviously have a lot of friends who are dealers and or have become friends with my dealers over the years just because of how much I do gamble. And they will be like, don't put your money in those machines. Like it's. It is the worst way to gamble because. And you can argue that nothing has strategy and there is just luck in everything. But because it's like digitized. Like you're not. It's just randomized. Like it's the easiest way to burn money.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I love it.

[Trisha Paytas]

And don't they like reset it if you win? If the machine wins too much, they like make it so you like, don't win for like. Yeah, the rest of it. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

A machine is always like recoil, coping to hit the win and then starting over. And like, like, let's say three machines are together. Like there's one bank in those three machines. Like, they're not different just because they're like. You know what I mean? But the dopamine of hitting, like, I just hit a slot. Jackpot. So did Devin.

[Trisha Paytas]

Where were you guys?

[Tana Mongeau]

Devin was in Vegas with me because I shot an episode of Brand Safe out there with Holly. Yeah. And Devin was there and he had never gambled. So we did have some more puff. And honestly, Moa's the reason. Reason? Cuz Moa's smart. Like huffing more puff. I always huff and puff. That's why when I'm reading that DraftKings read, I'm like, yeah, no. And there's that big bad wolf, and we love him.

[Trisha Paytas]

500.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Devin turned 20 bucks into 500.

[Trisha Paytas]

It was so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

But that was cuz Mako was coaching him on doing it smart.

[Trisha Paytas]

I wouldn't have done that funny. Oh my God, you won. That's big.

[Tana Mongeau]

First time in Vegas, Devin was so. Because there's something about Vegas too, where when you're really accustomed to it, you obviously become like desensitized to the gambling of it all. But it's almost like it becomes this Jennifer's body thing where you like, want the new person to come and like their energy and like seeing them win for the first time is like, it gives you more of a rush than you winning. So like Devin's like so giddy and kicking his feet and I'm like, oh my God. Like, I was on a high for you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Would you guys do for the first time, Would you guys do anything fun, like a restaurant for the first time or like a main attraction? I went to a nightclub, which I've always wanted.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh yeah, we went to Excess at the Wind.

[Trisha Paytas]

Did you go?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, my unbanned. I was like, let's bring everyone to the Wind.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my God. Was it everything?

[Tana Mongeau]

It was. I mean, I don't drink. Like I. And I used to go to Excess. Like I used to go to all of the clubs when I drank. So a Vegas nightclub is not the same sober. Like, it's still cutesy. Like Holly and I went, we took photos, we like talk, giggled and then. But after 20 minutes I was like, get me to the table.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, I love going somewhere for 20 minutes, take photos and then be like, we had fun. Bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's my favorite thing in the world. I'm serious. I love. I used to like, you know what I mean? How people used to just. Or people do talk about this. Like going somewhere just to take a photo and leaving is so like. But it's, I love it. Especially in my sober era. I'm like, I'll put on the cute outfit. I'm so excited for the cute photo. Like, see it. But that's how I felt about Coachella. Oh, really?

[Trisha Paytas]

Just get me love. Yeah, they're giving that 20 minutes even because it is about taking a picture and looking cute. But it's enough. You know what I mean? It's like enough. Like I got a drink. Like we've been doing like the after parties for like premieres and stuff. So me and Moses will go literally for like 20 minutes. We get the drink, we get the free food that they pass around.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Get a couple photos. I'm like, I, I feel so alive. Like, I'm like, that was great. And I'm out. You know what I mean? And it was, it was so fun. I think you're food. Oh, it is. All right, question.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Trish and Tana. My question for you guys is, I know that like, Trish, you're pretty into like spiritual kind of stuff, like manifestation and everything, and I was just curious what your guys thoughts are on people saying that that LA and even Vegas are pretty low vibrational cities spiritually and they've kind of got a lot going on here in the spiritual world. I don't know if you guys have heard of that, but I'm just curious what your thoughts are. Love you guys so much. Bye.

[Trisha Paytas]

Interesting. Well, I think it also is like what you make it. I, I do agree Los Angeles and obviously Vegas is. There's a lot of dark and like just dark energy and sad energy. Like, but I think it's what you make it. I remember going when I first came to Hollywood, like the tour of Hollywood, like the death museum and stuff like that, and it felt so dark and heavy. I needed to move out of Hollywood, but that's what I was like looking at being surrounded by. But when you like move out and have different energy, it changes. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I also think that I saw a TikTok the other day where someone made it and they were like, people always say that, like they don't want to move to a big city because people are so fake. But like, I never want to go back to my small town because of the way word gets around and like everyone gets so fake and like, whatever. Like, I think that every city has its low vibrational aspects. Even like New Orleans came to mind where it's like I just rewrote it and I finally like New Orleans. And I did all these fun things, but in the past I was going to the strip clubs and like doing all this stuff at night and like, do it the more, like focusing more on the haunted stuff and all those things. Like Miami is a great example. You can go to the beach and have a beautiful beach day or you can get like completely lost in like the underworld of Miami, which I've done a lot of New York, same thing, like Texas, even like, like the south. Like people can have like, really, you know, regressive views and like, I don't know, I think everywhere is what you make it and like what you put out. And like sometimes it is about seeking other people whose like, morals and values align with yours. And in some places it's easier than others, but like you can find it anywhere. And it's.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it's about how your energy is and not necessarily the energy that surrounds you. You can, you can block it out with whatever you have. Someone's always negative around you, you can have that positive energy. But it's everywhere, anywhere you go. I think it had bad and good energy. That is the life.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like arguably Vegas especially, like, it does have a lot more dark energy than maybe like Burlington, Vermont, you know, like, it is there because there's a lot more, you know, roads you can go down that are so accessible in a city like Las Vegas that have to do with so many dark things and stuff. But it almost again, it taught me to be more vigilant and it taught Me to protect good when good came my way and foster good and water those plants and made me more grateful for those things. And I found the good, you know, like, the good people and the, like. Even, like, Holly Madison's such a great example. Like, when I go to Vegas, I'm literally hanging out with my Disney princess, Ray of sunshine.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yes. And she's like, Miss Vegas, and she's so radiant. So. You're right. There's light everywhere, too. And that's where the spiritual aspect comes in.

[Tana Mongeau]

In la, I feel. Feel like I had so many times where I, like, did lose faith in, like, really making friendships in the scene. And now I sit across from, like, a woman that I would literally die for. And, like, we build each other up and have the best time, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

So it was. Today was a very deep day. We're at the end of our day, and I was just like, damn. Really connected soulfully, spiritually.

[Tana Mongeau]

We got each other and we really do. And that's arguably, a lot of people could say, like, you don't find that in this city. And, like, we did. And. Yeah. And I'm very, very grateful because I think it's what we put out into the world and the universe waited for us to, like, be ready to find each other. We always say that.

[Trisha Paytas]

And, like, the timing.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. It's just. And I. I always say in any situation, like, the more bad that there is happening, the more you are grateful for the good.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, oh, my God, yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, even the city, there are so many fake morons who, like, want nothing from you but a dollar sign or a view or, like, whatever it is. But it makes me all the more grateful for, like. Like, I met Paige in this city, and, like, that's a ride or one that I love and I would die for. But, like, I met her here in Los Angeles, and we had arguably some dark people around the both of us when we met. But, like, we prevailed, you know, Silver

[Trisha Paytas]

lining to everything, there's a silver lining. Gotta look for it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And, like, if. And you can always get up and go. Like, I feel like. Yeah, I don't want to say that. Like, it's just the easiest thing in the world to get up and move. It's hard. But, like, at the same time, I definitely. There was a point in my life where I was like, the Vegas I'm living isn't serving me, and it is dark. I need to go move somewhere else. And then I was able to come back and kind of rewrite it, you know? Like, I don't know. Thank you, Shopify, for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. I feel like when I'm online shopping, I'm so bad at remembering logins and passwords to all these different websites, which is such a, like, niche thing. Like, I get it, it's like, But Shopify does make it so much easier when you see that purple button and you can just use your account and check out so much more seamlessly. Shopify is great for a seamless online shopping experience.

[Trisha Paytas]

And Shopify makes it easy too, if you want to start your own business. I started using Shopify for Just Trish merch because I was going through like people and it was just like so many people like taking cut of everything. So I was like, let me just do it directly. And I was like, where do I even start? And you guys know I'm like technologically, like not advanced. But Shopify made it super easy.

[Tana Mongeau]

They are so easy. Just with everything they do, they make it so much easier.

[Trisha Paytas]

Listing, calculating, shipping, like contacts, everything's in it. You can see all your money, the payouts, everything like right away. Everything's so instant. Shopify and building your business is so much simple. So if you've been thinking like, I want to start a podcast, I want to start businesses, you seems so complicated. It's like Shopify makes it really easy and it takes all the guesswork out

[Tana Mongeau]

and they're a type B. Girlies dream too, you know, not too much fluff they get right to the point. I think that's important.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, absolutely. Shopify is the e commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like just Trish to brands just getting started.

[Tana Mongeau]

Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style, accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography and get the word out.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like you have a marketing team behind you. Because not everyone does easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. And I thought this was a really important thing too. Sometimes you always get those emails like, come back, stuff is in your cart, you don't know how to do it. Shopify does it for you. They're literally your brain and they just make it easy so you can make that money or shop easy.

[Tana Mongeau]

And what if people haven't Heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support.

[Trisha Paytas]

Tackle all those important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments, analytics and more. No need to say multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. Everything is an all in one place making your life easier and your business operations smoother.

[Tana Mongeau]

And did we mention that iconic purple shop hey button that's used by millions of businesses around the world. It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It helps boost conversions meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you you. That's huge.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love that cuz I do forget about a cart sometimes you have all those tabs open and you forget about it. Shopify.

[Tana Mongeau]

It makes love to make a card and forget about it. Thank God for Shopify.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. Reminding us. Go back and get that cart.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's time to turn those wh ifs

[Trisha Paytas]

into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com not loveline.

[Tana Mongeau]

Go to shopify.com not lovelINE. That's shopify.com not loveliNE.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you Shopify for sponsoring today's episode. Cha Ching indeed. Everywhere you can rewrite it. Change that energy. Cuz sometimes you are stuck in a place that you can't move out of and you can, you can be the light you want to see. Be the change you want to see.

[Tana Mongeau]

You literally like actually just took the thought out of my brain. Cuz it is. It's hard. It's easy to get jaded, I think. And I was victim to this a lot in my life where I'm like, everyone's just bad. So I'm just bad. You know what I mean? Like everyone's. That was like horrible English but you know, like everyone around me is vibrating so low. So who cares if I vibrate so high. And it was this active decision for me to almost go against what I would naturally do in this situation. But when you do start like vibrating higher by choice. And sometimes it is a choice. Your life does change and you do attractive.

[Trisha Paytas]

Got to trust it. You got to trust it. Don't let those demons pull you down.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, girl.

[Trisha Paytas]

All right, next one. Yeah, let's do it.

[Caller 1]

Hey, Trish and Tana, I have a question about tolerating red flags or toxicity in dating. So I've been single for five years now. I'm 28. And I definitely do not ever settle. And I've really learned to stand on business. So if I catch one red flag or even an orange flag or one hint of toxicity, I am done. I am out. No question. But I've heard some stories from friends and family members who are in very healthy, happy, long term relationships tell me that when they were dating in the beginning, one person would have like a bunch of red flags. Things were really toxic. And they say they should have broken up at that time, but they stayed in the toxic of it all. And now their relationships are beautiful. So it seems like things work out in the end sometimes. And Trish, I think you've mentioned before on a previous episode that you and Moses struggled with something like that in the beginning, but now things are a lot better. So like, like, I'm just confused. Like, am I supposed to accept these kinds of things if I catch a red flag or ditch the dude? Did I just possibly miss out on the love of my life? I don't know what to think anymore.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I, I honestly, I feel like this might be if not no one quote me, but like the first time in not Loveline history where, like, I don't know if I have a cut and dry answer to this question.

[Caller 1]

Question.

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know if I have advice for this question. I don't. Because some people do work it out. Some people grow together and like, that's awesome. How lucky are they? That was there. But at the same time, I don't think I believe that if you're not putting up with red flags and you, you have a boundary for yourself that like, you're missing out on your soulmate. Because I believe that a soulmate, you guys will find each other no matter what.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's, you know, 100. You did not miss out on your soulmate because if it's meant for you, it would have been there. Yeah, because you, you said it. I can speak to it. Like, yeah, me and Moses had some crazy toxicity at the beginning. And the only reason I talk about it is because there is like, you know, we worked through it and stuff like that, but it was like, it was. Are the like, weird as it sounds, it was like ways of like the universe just kept pulling us together where it was like there was toxicity, but I don't know, it's like, what, like, something would happen. Like, someone would break into my house and then I'd call him and he'd like, come over. And then it was just like the universe just kept like pulling us together. The Whole pandemic happened two days after we met, and we were like, forced to quarantine up force. But we. We did quarantine together, and it just kept pulling us back together. So it kept feeling like I was fighting something that wasn't there because I was creating problems that maybe weren't there. There were some problems. There were some problems as well.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, sometimes toxicity that people work through is like, one person does. Does just need to heal, and sometimes the other person is able to help them. Like, I feel like Makoa did a lot of that for me.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, helped me heal and grow. So if it's that, I'm gonna say, like, I do understand that. I also think on the flip side of the coin, I've had some friends like this where they're like breaking up at the sight of every red flag to them. But in reality, a lot of the things that they're breaking up with these people over, they'll be like, and this gave me the ick, so I broke up with them. And it's like, like, well, maybe that wasn't like a real ick. And like, maybe like you're using this to protect yourself, you're being toxic or you're leaving or creating red flags to protect yourself from being vulnerable and feeling real love. Like, and so. So there's like some discernment between that there. That needs to be weighed out.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's true too. Some people are just like, this was a red flag. And it's literally just like him leaving the toilet seat up too many times. Which, like, maybe. Maybe that's your hard boundary. Maybe. But it's like, yeah, kind of figure out ours was. Ours was pretty toxic. But again, I think it was just meant to be. And I will say more on Moses's part, him just like coming back around, I was like, maybe this is something. And thank God. I do think, like, we had such a rough start and I do think we have, like, the perfect relationship for us right now. Like, I think we're in the best relationship for us, which is crazy because, yeah, when we first met, it was. It was not. It was not rainbows, you know?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. So I think there's like, I'm not sitting here, like, saying, like, if a guy is treating you, like, stay. I think just make sure that your discernment between like a real red flag and a non real red flag. But also don't second guess yourself. You know what I mean? Like, if it's a real red flag, like, yes, maybe don't go. And I think that if you. You're not missing out on your soulmate, because if you and that person are meant to be and you leave on that red flag, you will run into them again, and they could have healed and grown from that, and you guys could get back together. Like, continue to live your life without that fear. Like, you will find your person and just, like, continue to have fun until then. But this question is definitely not a cut and dry answer. Some people also stay through some crazy. You know what I mean? Crazy. And then they do make it out of the other side together.

[Trisha Paytas]

That's true. Like, even, like, cheaters. People who stay with cheaters and they're like, now we're good.

[Caller 1]

You know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, it's crazy. You could go through a whole thing and still be fine at the end of it, which is why.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. But I don't necessarily know if. I think if you asked me, like, like, my boyfriend is throwing things at me, should I stay with him? I'm gonna say no 10 out of 10 times.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's giving age gap relationship where some people are like, we're the happiest ever, and it's like, thank God it worked out for you. But, like, majority of people, it doesn't work out for staying through the toxicity. So that's why I never like to promote it either, because it did work for us. But I would imagine what I was doing to Moses too. It's just like, most people wouldn't say, and I asked Moses, why would you stay through that? And he's like, well, I could just tell that wasn't who you were.

[Tana Mongeau]

Makoa says that about me being drunk.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, so when you met him, you were drinking? Oh, I didn't. I guess I thought the sobriety are you. How. How much?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm like, a year and a half now. Oh, and you guys been together two years? Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, so do you think that's interesting? Do you think you got sober because of him? You're like, oh, I want to keep this. Or was it a totally different journey?

[Tana Mongeau]

It was not a totally different journey. I think it was a factor. I think there were, like, many factors. I think that I, like, was gonna die. I didn't want to die. I think that I did meet the love of my life, and I was like, I want to be a better me for this person and, like, but also a better me for me. Also better me for my business, Also a better me for my friends. But at the same time, I don't know. Had I never met Moko it probably would have been a much slower journey. Like, there is definitely something to be said about, like, being with the love of your life. It's not like, oh, I'm gonna get sober and meet the love of my life. Like, I'm. I'm with the love of my life. Like, don't this up. Like, do it now.

[Trisha Paytas]

You know exactly me. As soon as we got proposed to, I stopped taking Xanax, everything. And I did a kind of cold turkey, which is like a crazy thing to like, say, but I just stopped everything. I was like, I can't not this up. Like, I never thought in a million years would ever be proposed to by anybody. Like, no. I was never even close to being engaged to anybody. Like, not anywhere close. I wasn't living with anyone. So I was like, holy. I was like, my dream ring, my dream every day. I was like, do not. And we bought this house. I was like, do not this up. So I really was just like, I need to just stop. And it's. It's easier said than done, but it really is.

[Tana Mongeau]

But like, sometimes a good person is a motivating factor to get better. So this question definitely has like five different answers. And I think that the real answer is, like, what's meant to be will be. Advocate for what's best for yourself, want what's best for yourself. And like, what's meant to be will be. And we love you and you are going to find that person and just try not to. I like, look back at all the time where I was like, I just want to find my husband. I just want to find my soulmate. And it's like it was almost wasted strife, you know, like, it's. It's just like it, it will happen.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, yeah, it'll happen when it happened. The timing's there. Thank you so much to better help for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline. Life is a journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelmin. Whatever is keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But the truth is, no one has all the answers. And no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can make all the difference. I've always said my life began at the day I sought out therapy. Anytime I go through any sort of life, change doesn't have to be full blown depression. If I'm just going through a change in my body and my feelings, I love talking to someone from an outside perspective. It Just helps me refocus, rebalance and set me on the right path. BetterHelp provide therapists that work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US Better Help does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and better helps 12 plus years of experience and industry leading. Match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailor recommendations. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform Having served over 6 million people global, globally and it works with an average of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] not loveline. That's better. H E L P.com not loveline. Thank you so much to Better Help for sponsoring today's episode of Not Loveline.

[Caller 1]

Hey, not well's line. This is Riley calling from Indiana. You already know I love you guys so much. Just have to get that out of the way. Been watching you guys since I was like 11 and I'm 24 now, so you can do the math. I was wondering what you guys think about meeting someone, right? They're cool, you hit it off and they happen to have the same name as one of your siblings. Specifically your brother.

[Caller 2]

Brother.

[Caller 1]

I don't know about that. Like, we might need to name him something different if this is going to work. I don't know if you can have the same name as my brother or I'll just never call my brother by his name again. Let me know if you guys could date somebody with the same name as your brother if you had a brother, which I don't know if you guys do. Yeah, Tana does. Trisha doesn't.

[Trisha Paytas]

I have a brother.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, that's so funny. You know what I was thinking about is that like I'm doing this kind of right now. Yes game and I, I've known gay MOA for so much longer than straight moa. Like I have. I've like, I'm like on year seven with gay Moa and I'm on year two with straight Makoa. So. And he is like my brother in a lot of ways. And like he had all the jokes in the beginning. You know what I mean, he was like. Like, he's. We have a crazy relationship. He was like, you're literally saying my name in bed, like, and just clowning each other. And like, even just that, like. But it's funny now because the two of them know who I'm talking to based on my tone of voice. Like, the way I say makoa, like, the correct one will turn their head, which I think is so funny. I'm like, what the. How the. That's amazing, because I just think I, like, say it the same way or say it. Like, I don't. I'm not aware of it.

[Trisha Paytas]

Right.

[Tana Mongeau]

Obviously, I don't see gay Makoa every second, like, because he lives in Hawaii, but he really is like a brother to me. I. I don't know. I'm trying to think if it was like, literally Amari, but I would, like, I'm not gonna not date the person. Like, if I like the person, I'd be like, how funny is this?

[Trisha Paytas]

Right? Yeah. I mean, in theory, I'm like, yeah, that's so. But it's like, yeah, I'm not gonna say no. Yeah, I agree. No, you're good.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's, like, funny how quiet a room is when we stop talking.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1]

I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

We just never stop talking.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, that's true.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, I. It is, like, weird, but I think that you just make the jokes about it until it's not. Like, I don't think that you should if the only reason you're not going to be with someone is because of their name. And, like, even just nicknames, like, they just end up happening over time. Like, I have nicknames for both of them that are different. And, like, you know, I just. And, like, when I'm with my makoa, I'm not thinking of other makoa. And when I'm with other makoa, I'm not thinking of, like, my makoa. When I'm saying makoa, I'm just thinking about them. Like, you know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, I think that's, like, super valid. It's also, like, how often do you call mako mako? Like, I rarely say Moses. You know what I mean? Like, I really, like, really. I think I say, like, babe or hey or I never, like, Maybe I'm like, screaming for. I'm like Moses or something. But, like, I never. Not usually.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's so funny. I feel like I literally say moa, like a hundred. He never says my name, though. He always says, like, baby. Baby girl. Like, anything like that, like, he even

[Trisha Paytas]

like, don't say babe or anything to him.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do, but like, when I'm always. You know what it is? It's that he's very self sufficient. So he's never like tana. He'd still say babe, though. I don't know. But like, I'm always like, makoa, there's a bug. Makoa. This Makoa.

[Trisha Paytas]

Interesting.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I'm like, I'm not self sufficient.

[Trisha Paytas]

It's fun to say it is.

[Tana Mongeau]

But he like, if he calls me Tana, like, he's probably call me Tana like four times. Like, I'll literally be like, what the.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, Moses really calls me Trisha. Like, the way he says it is so funny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, yeah, cute.

[Trisha Paytas]

See? But yeah, Malibu will say Moses if there's like a. If there's a crisis happening. Because I rarely say it, but if I do. Moses getting here, like, early on, I would say it a lot. So she'll say that, like if some. If the baby's crying. Moses, like, you know, no way. That's so cute. But that's the only time she only hears me say it. It. If it's like a moment of panic or crisis or something like that. But yeah, don't let that stop you from getting the love of your life. Maybe toxic red flags. I don't know if a name.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, they have your brother's name and they, like, don't brush their teeth and they, like, are a narcissist with a God complex. Like, there you go. Like the universe told you before you needed to know. But if it's your person with your brother's name, then, like, you'll. You'll figure it out.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, as long as that's your actual brother.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Yeah, don't date your brother. I don't know if we've ever said that here on Not Loveline. Don't date your siblings. It's kind of important.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, but that should be a rule. We are left with no producer.

[Tana Mongeau]

This is what happens when Devin's in the bathroom. By the way, I don't date your siblings.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, how many? How else can we answer this question?

[Tana Mongeau]

You guys are already done.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, like, okay, we just got silly.

[Tana Mongeau]

We need another. We need another caller. Don't be sorry you were pottying. You're party in the usa.

[Caller 2]

Hi, Tana and Trish. This is jj. I love you guys so much. Oh, my God, Tana, I've met you before on the canceled tour. Trisha, I've been obsessed with you since I was like 13. I recently had my entire life blow up. My ex of five years and I broke up. I lost my job and I broke my back and needed major back surgery. It's four months later and I don't know what to do. It's so hard to keep my chin up. My question to you guys is what should I do to keep going? I'm in some final rounds for the job interviews, but it is so tough. So any appreciation or any, any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thank you. Bye.

[Trisha Paytas]

Oh my gosh. That is the worst.

[Tana Mongeau]

When everything comes and the broken back. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, maybe on my worst enemy, but like maybe. Nah, probably not. Yeah, it's bad.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, that's bad.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

All that losing your job while losing like your support system, which is your partner. Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I mean, and it's always like, I think a three peat. There's something to be said about a three Pete especially that is when you start questioning everything because it's like one bad things happens and you can start to convince yourself, you know what I mean? Like it's okay. Like it's gonna get better than the second bad thing and the third just feels like the unit. Like you're getting your beat.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like literally like you're getting your beat by the world. But at the same time.

[Trisha Paytas]

Time.

[Tana Mongeau]

I've never experienced this exact three peat. Right. But I've definitely experienced my own versions of the worst three peats of my life. Or the worst. Like when it rains, it pours times of life, you know, where everything bad that could happen just does. There is going to be another side. And even if the worst thing ever happens to you, I always try to use this analogy. When people are going through grief or just anything like that. There will always be a new normal. Like you will find a way to feel your most normal again. It's just a new normal. And I. And like I also think that sometimes the worst breakup of your life or like losing that job or whatever you always say, like rejection can be divine protection and you might not feel that way for four more years. You might not be like, wow, that thing that I thought was so awful ended up like not being my journey, you know, like I just our poor thing or.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, it has to. You just have to believe. And it's like the worst thing to here in all the situation because it is the worst that it has to get better. Like life has to get better. Like there will be a rainbow, there will be happiness again. And I Know like it seems, yeah,

[Tana Mongeau]

like a good thing, A good thing is going to happen to you again.

[Trisha Paytas]

You have to believe it.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it truly is. Like I just thought like a big three peat of my life was when I lost Jordan, my manager, I lost Jake Paul and my parents sued me. And I know that those things might sound trivial but who I was at the time, it felt, it felt like the end of the world as I knew it. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Like career, love and family.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Literally. Literally. And just like all of these people that I really was very, very, very sure for so long would be in my life forever or just people that I wanted to be in my life forever. And it like it changed who I am as a person completely and like who I was for so long. I was like these were the people obviously I saw like Amari and stuff. I'm not, you know what I mean? But I lost many major people that I was like, wow, you know, and now looking back it's like that wasn't meant to be my life.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

I wasn't, I would. That was not meant to be my career path, that was not meant to be my love path, that was not meant to be my family path. And like I ended up finding all of those other things and did in ways I never thought I would imagine. Like, you know.

[Trisha Paytas]

No, for sure. And like you look at it now and you're like, oh, this life would not have been possible if I was living that life back then.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And it's like I just want to go tell that girl about like Brittany Makoa and the stewards, you know, like it's, it's all, it's all going to be okay. And like obviously that's the, the physicality of yours as well. It's, it's very different. It's incomparable. But I'm just saying like maybe this is a time for you to really reflect. Right. Like maybe the God or the universe wanted to slow your body down for a second to sit you with your mind. And it's important I always say to, I always turn to writing. Writing is a huge coping mechanism of mine, mine. But like I feel like you need to write down all of the things about yourself that you love, all of the things about yourself that you believe in, why you would be an amazing hire, why you would be an amazing partner, all of the things that you are grateful for. Even if it is just like I get to eat a meal I love today or like I get to call my best friend today or I Am really smart in situations and I'm able to like figure things out in like boots on the ground journalism diva. Like I am able to, to like, you know, whatever those things are about yourself and just continue to remind you, like actually do it though. Like don't just hear this advice like, and not like write it all down.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And like writing helps so much and affirmations.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. The therapeuticness of it all too. Just writing. I know I can't understand the physical setbacks like that. That's. I don't understand it. But I suppose you just have to have some sort of faith, even if you've never had it before. Believe. Believing that it is all meant to be or redirection of all. Maybe it's taking you to a new career path, a new love. Like something is gonna.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Trisha Paytas]

Or maybe not. And we'll figure it out. The end of life, what happens.

[Tana Mongeau]

But even like hearing that like you love both of us, like you have some interest in the influencer space. Maybe you're supposed to be making content about this. Maybe you're supposed to be writing a book on what it feels like to go through this. Maybe. Or maybe you're supposed to be absorbing information about these things. Maybe you're supposed to. This is the time of your life where you become an avid reader and a huge like plethora of knowledge and like, you know, like just try to think about what, how you can turn this pain into purpose. I think that that's an important way to also gain back a way to live. Like, how can I turn this horrible thing I'm going through into my new purpose in life? You know, what if you end up becoming a relationship counselor or a physical therapist or you know, something because of this that you never would have, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah. The way you can help others through it. It's a lot. When it rains, it pours. So I would love to believe there is a rainbow coming. Cuz this is that. You're right. You're in a downpour, raining, can't leave the house.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's so funny because as you get older, you'll look back and you'll be like, oh my God, 2019 was the worst year of my life. Right. Or oh my God, 2021, it was a wor. 15 was the worst year of my life. And you very well, it might be 2038 and you're going to look back and say 2025 and 2026 were the worst years of my life. But that will be a new version of you saying that and, like, you're able to let out a chuckle about it and you're able to, like, understand what you needed to learn from that time. Like, there is always purpose to the pain. You just have to find it. And sometimes it's very hard to get yourself to find it. And that's where, like, baby steps come in. Whether it is, like, reading a book that you've, like, think could help you and, like, change your outlook or writing things down and you become a very grateful person for the little things. Or maybe you're on dating apps and you meet someone who loves you for just you and wants to take care of you because you're not in a place to, like, get up and go get that thing from the fridge right now until you heal. You know what I mean?

[Trisha Paytas]

Someone at a low. Like, that is kind of everything because it's kind of like, oh, wow, you take care of me when I'm sick. I already know you're gonna take care of me in sickness and health. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

I feel Moses. I was, like, mentally sick and I was like, wow, you really, you really were there for me for that sickness.

[Tana Mongeau]

And, like, that's it. Even, like, we just. We do this ad read all the time, but I always think it's so interesting, like, and this is not me just, like, plugging something we do an ad read for, because I genuinely find it interesting. Thank God that I find our sponsors interesting, obviously. But Tinder has the, like, astrology Tinder, right? And I'm sitting there and I'm like, if you're newly single, like, why don't you match with some people, like, through that just for the fun? Even if you just gather lore and you end up making content about it or writing a book about it.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love, like, Like, I like it. You know, we're the same brain that way.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, I'm just thinking that, like, if we are an interest of his, you know, maybe it can end up being like, you know, like a patch passion of his. That's true. Like, but where I'm like, I do like that maybe you're gathering lore during this time. Like, you're like, tinder's free, you know?

[Trisha Paytas]

And, like, just my favorite advice is telling people to make contact because, like, it changed our lives. And I do love that. And you know what? Sometimes it works for people. You never know. I would love to see you on Tick Tock telling the story of what's happening. Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Or like, what it's like dating in this time of your life or what Job interviews are, like, in this time of your life or just truly, just. I think that it is important. Important. Like, even through, like, my sobriety, I found out that I like, really, like, like, sitting and painting. Like, I love, like, sitting at a canvas and painting. And like, maybe you really like rhinestoning things or maybe you really, like, end up liking, like, knitting. I know this is dumb, but it's

[Trisha Paytas]

like, I love it.

[Tana Mongeau]

If you're. If you're at a point where you're like, what the else do I have to lose? Why not try a new random hobby? Junk journaling. I want to try junk journaling. Or you could just, you know, like, just sparkle.

[Trisha Paytas]

Sparkling cider.

[Tana Mongeau]

I do.

[Trisha Paytas]

We should do paint and sip with sparkling cider.

[Caller 1]

Live.

[Trisha Paytas]

I love Martinelli's. I love painting. Me too.

[Tana Mongeau]

So much.

[Trisha Paytas]

Moses and I painted. You guys painted each other. We had painted each other in, like, 2021. We went to paint and sip. And I like, that's like, my favorite. I'm like, not good at it. But I do love a little paint. I would. Or your love or just for fun, me thinking content. My patreon.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, that's fine. That's a fun patreon.

[Trisha Paytas]

You can also just paint.

[Tana Mongeau]

We could do. Do it all. We can do it all, but we. You can also do it all. And we love you. And I promise you there will be a horizon at the end of this. I believe it to my core. Yes.

[Trisha Paytas]

If there's one thing for sure, if you're given another day on this earth, is like, you'll make it through. You know what I mean? Like, it, like, you'll make it through until you don't. And then who knows what happens after that. But it's like, just don't give up on yourself.

[Tana Mongeau]

And then you make it through. And I feel like that is like, so much comes out of times like this as well, because you're like, like, holy. I didn't know I was that resilient. I didn't know I could make it out of this and this and this and this and this happening to me. I didn't know I could like, you know, it's so many things you learn about yourself during these times. So just give yourself grace too, because it's easy to be in bed and be like, I can't move and I lost the love of my life and I can't find this job, and I can't, like, and I can't do anything right. And nothing right is happening for me, and nothing good is going to come because that's always what comes from those thoughts. But in reality. Reality, it's like, no, these things happen to me, and I'm gonna give myself grace because I'm gonna get through this, you know? So we love you.

[Caller 1]

Hi, Tana. Hi, Trish. So I've been having some friendship problems. I just went on vacation with my friends, and one of them ended up having sex on the floor right next to me. And we have an upcoming trip, and it made me really uncomfortable. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to share a room with this friend. So what should I do? I know I'm gonna address the issue, but I don't want to share a room with her. Thank you. Bye, guys.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, my God.

[Trisha Paytas]

Period. Don't do that.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. I have, like, so much to say about this, because I have so much to say about this because obviously, over the years, I did a lot of big trips. I would take all my friends on big trips. I would orchestrate big trips. I was, like, the big trip aficionado for a long time, and I finally think I'm, like, retiring hearing that. But I know you were the original tart trip. Yes. Tripping with Tana was a real thing for a very long time. And so it made me learn a lot about the intricacies of people being roommates on trips and, like, how trips go efficiently and, like, what creates drama and what doesn't create drama, and just different things like that, I guess. And I did a lot of traveling as well, with a lot. Just I've. I've gone on a trip with everyone under the sun, and I really do think that, like, open and honest communication is so important when it comes to traveling with. With your friends, because obviously, the sex on the floor thing. Not a vibe. Here's what I will say. That person could have another person in your friend group who doesn't give a. And then they're both having sex on the floor.

[Trisha Paytas]

I like it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Yes, Literally. And it could all be talked out and figured out, or I can also. I can also say that, like, and again, I don't know your relationship with this person. Right. But I have a lot of friends or had a lot of friends, at least in life, where I would rather have eaten my fingernails than shared a room with them on a trip. But I liked them as a person. Do you know what I mean? Where I was like, I don't want to share a room with this person because, like, they can't shut the up, or, like, I don't want to share cuz. They're going to be like, way too hammered and like, come in too late. And like, I don't want to share a bed with them because they're going to like, do X, Y and Z, like in the bed. Right. But they do in the bed. Well, I'm. I'd be airing out specific people and they're like. And I'm not one to talk. I've also been very crazy, but I'm just saying, like, where. I still enjoyed being on the trips with them, but I knew that we weren't roommates. Right. Like, I know that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Like, so it's about the room assignment really. Like rearranging that rooms.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Or I also think that good friends respect boundaries. You know what I mean? Like, Like, I feel like Trevy would be the type to be like, tana, you're way too loud when I'm sleeping in the morning. And then I'd be like, trevy, you talk through movies and I hate it. Like, this is. These are real things, by the way. And like, we both would be like, okay, we're gonna watch this movie and crack jokes about it and, like, be a little quiet. And like, tana, shut up. When I'm still sleeping. And we worked through it. Do you know what I mean? Like, because we just open. Communicated with each other. Yeah. You know, good.

[Trisha Paytas]

That sounds like a healthy friendship. Trisha, over here. Toxic. No, friends would be like, I'm not going on this trip. So. Yeah, bye.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's also fair. Sometimes people are just so insufferable that you don't need to go. Go on the trip. Right? Like, that can be answer number one. But if answer number two is that you guys even just like, I've had like, Paige be like, tana, I'm going to bed. Shut up. Like, you know what I mean? Where it's like, sometimes you just.

[Trisha Paytas]

I wonder what it would be like to share a hotel room with you. I think I could do it. I don't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Now you could. Yeah, but I would have to shut the up because you go to bed early.

[Trisha Paytas]

Yeah, but I would hate to be that person. Do you know what I mean? Because I do go to bed early and I never want to be. I think that's why I'm. Maybe I don't share rooms because I don't want to be that person. Because I am that person. I used to be, like, at sleepovers, everyone's too loud. Like, you know, and it's like, what a buzzkill.

[Tana Mongeau]

But now I'm that person where I'm like, no, I respect it. I think when I was younger, I. I'm assuming this person's also younger. I feel like you go through these, like, crazier things, like, as you're like, in your early 20s, like, figuring those things out and like, the room sharing the sex on the floor. I don't know. Some people are just crazy and still do that.

[Trisha Paytas]

But are you a talker before you go to bed? Like, are you someone who, like, if even it's like, your girlfriend in a bed with you, like, my mom, whatever. Like, would you just be talking to you fall asleep?

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally. Until, like, even Ashley and I in New York, we were sharing a bed and we were just talking every night, though.

[Trisha Paytas]

That gives me, like, my sister, mom vibes. We used to do that all the time. And, like, one person would just fall asleep, like, are you sleeping okay?

[Tana Mongeau]

Literally? Yeah, like, literally. I love that.

[Trisha Paytas]

Well, thank you guys for talking with us. I hope this advice would helpful.

[Tana Mongeau]

We love you and like, truly last thing I'm gonna say to you, my girl, is that if that person isn't receptive, that might not be your friend. And we love you.

[Trisha Paytas]

Thank you for being here at Nut Loveline. Call this number today and we will see you in the next one. Goodbye.