Dylan Sprouse Is Entering His Dad Era

Summary

Podcast Summary: Not Skinny But Not Fat

Host: Amanda Hirsch
Guest: Dylan Sprouse
Episode Title: Dylan Sprouse Is Entering His Dad Era
Date: August 4, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, Amanda Hirsch sits down with actor, entrepreneur, and soon-to-be dad Dylan Sprouse. The conversation covers everything from Dylan’s evolution into dad mode, his relationship with supermodel wife Barbara Palvin, social media quirks, brotherhood with Cole Sprouse, and the story behind his viral home invasion headline. Listeners are treated to candid, self-deprecating humor, warm anecdotes, and genuine insights about fame, family, and impending parenthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dylan’s Dad Era: Embracing Parenthood and Dad Stereotypes

• Dad Habits & Genetics: Dylan reflects on how he’s unintentionally turned into his dad, picking up quirks like using speakerphone, wearing chained glasses, and New Balances.

  • “My dad is a religious speakerphone head. He refuses to take the call into his phone. He's always talking to the world for everything.” (Dylan, 04:28)
  • “I'm about to hit a grill so hard this summer, I'm going to f***ing crush it.” (Dylan, 04:52)

• Becoming a Father: Dylan discusses the excitement and nerves about expecting his first child—a girl—with Barbara Palvin. He expresses both anxiety and readiness for the transition.

  • “I'm worried, but excited, too... you really can't expect what to do until you're kind of there.” (Dylan, 43:36)
  • “This is the first Sprouse girl born in a very long time, so...my dad can't really help me understand this.” (Dylan, 40:49)

Timestamps: [04:27–06:06], [37:07–44:07]

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2. Relationship with Barbara Palvin: Banter, Beginnings, & Balance

• How They Met: Debunking the DM myth, Dylan shares the “rom-com” story of meeting Barbara when she cut him in line at a Harper’s Bazaar party, their witty first banter, and their unusual first date in Beijing.

  • “She just jumps over the red velvet divider and cuts me… and she goes, what are you, a hot dog vendor?” (Dylan, 29:30)
  • “We ended up having our first date in China, believe it or not . . . that's where I really want to go for our five year anniversary.” (Dylan, 32:10)

• Importance of Humor: He shares that shared laughter is central to their relationship’s longevity.

  • “I really think humor is the key to a really positive long-term relationship.” (Dylan, 30:05)

• Self-Deprecating Humor & Outkicking Coverage: Dylan repeatedly jokes about being lucky to end up with Barbara, blending self-deprecation with honesty.

  • “Let's be very pragmatic. Like my ancestors...would have cursed me if I didn't make the best of what I got...I was shooting way above my pay grade.” (Dylan, 33:06)

Timestamps: [28:02–37:04]

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3. Social Media, Branding, & Meme Culture

• Instagram Strategies: Dylan reveals his unique approach to IG: deleting most posts except for a signature “drawn living room” grid for brand strategy.

  • “I want to post for brands and stuff, but I definitely don't want to keep a coffee scrub on my page for three years.” (Dylan, 08:59)

• Reflections on Internet Trends: Both discuss meme culture, AI-generated content, and the nostalgia of early internet memes.

  • “The algorithm can perfectly find a meme that feels like it's expressly designed for your sense of humor...It's just a picture of a moth saying lamp.” (Dylan, 16:02)

• Cole’s “Camera Duels”: Amanda queries the intention behind Cole’s IG account that documents people sneakily snapping pics of him. Dylan finds it validating for celebs facing invasiveness but not malicious.

  • “They found it very, like, validating because there is, like, an invasiveness to it…but I don't ever think it comes from a place of...maliciousness.” (Dylan, 12:23)

Timestamps: [08:07–13:36]

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4. The Sprouse Twins: Fame, Identity & Family

• Twin Experiences: Dylan describes the weirdness of occasionally looking identical to Cole and their shared upbringing—plus fans confusing them.

  • “We'll have periods where we look very alike...then there'll be periods where we are very different looking...Face shape will just look very different for a period of a year.” (Dylan, 14:06)

• Relationship with Cole: The brothers share a “weird, strange sense of humor” and he finds joy when their close friends overlap.

  • “Cole and I have definitely, like, some of the weirdest humor algorithms on any social media...I'll send him the same stuff I'm sending Nicole and he's like, Dylan, this is really strange. Seek help.” (Dylan, 15:10–15:30)

• NYU, Hiatus & Career Pivots: Dylan confirms the “hiatus” shown on his Wikipedia refers to his college years. He purposely avoided acting during NYU to focus on video game design—a field he still loves.

  • “I made a very concerted effort that I did not want to act really, at all during the college experience…” (Dylan, 20:05)

Timestamps: [14:06–21:10], [19:32–21:10]

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5. Authentic Insights on Fame & Childhood Stardom

• Growing Up on TV: Dylan reflects candidly on starting acting (with Cole) out of family necessity, not passion, and the uniqueness of “twin” child acting.

  • “Kids can only work so many hours in child labor laws. But if you had the same baby, you could double your hours. So twins were hired a lot.” (Dylan, 61:00)

• Press & Privacy Pre-Social Media: He’s grateful they grew up just before the social media age, which shielded them from the constant scrutiny today’s young stars face.

  • “I'm really happy. We, like, hit the generation, by the way, that was just pre-social media.” (Dylan, 57:14)

• Olsen Twins Connection: Amanda asks about camaraderie with the Olsens as fellow “twin child stars.”

  • “They're kind of like New York legends...I didn't realize that until I came out here and people were like, yeah, they rock.” (Dylan, 61:39)

Timestamps: [57:14–62:06]

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6. Life’s Lighter Side: Vaping, Quitting Smoking, and a Celebrity Encounter

• Quitting Cigarettes: Dylan hilariously details quitting smoking after sharing a cigarette with director David Lynch at Chateau Marmont, which, he claims, “could never be topped.”

  • “It made me want to quit smoking...I'll never have a better cigarette than that in my entire life.” (Dylan, 65:49)

• Debating Vaping vs. Smoking: Amanda and Dylan riff on the loss of “coolness” in moving from cigarettes to vapes, and Dylan’s intention to quit before the baby arrives.

  • “I'm gonna try...I had a buddy who did the hypnotism thing and it worked.” (Dylan, 69:53)

Timestamps: [62:00–70:07]

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7. Addressing Viral Headline: The Home Invasion Incident

• What Really Happened: Dylan recounts, with wry humor, the actual events behind the rumored “heroic tackling” of an intruder—clarifying the man was just confused and high, and Dylan escorted him out with no drama.

  • “He kind of got stuck in this area like a raccoon...I was like, hey, come around the corner. I have a gun. Come out from where you are...” (Dylan, 76:18–77:40)

• Dealing with Security and Headlines: The story goes viral; Dylan finds the police/TMZ confusion comical but is mostly relieved for his family’s safety.

  • “TMZ arrived, which is crazy...they ran with that [that I tackled the guy]. And I was like, not correcting them because that is cool.” (Dylan, 81:16–81:50)

Timestamps: [72:38–83:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Outkicking His Coverage:
  “Come on. This is one of the things I say, too, where I'm like, dude, what was I gonna do? I'm not gonna get better than Barbara.” (Dylan, 32:54)

• On Social Media Algorithms:
  “Nowadays, the algorithm can perfectly find a meme that feels like it's expressly designed for your sense of humor. It's just a picture of a moth saying lamp…” (Dylan, 16:03)

• On Childhood Acting:
  “If you wanted to be an actor back in that day, you were basically hoofing it in California…So twins were hired a lot.” (Dylan, 60:05–61:02)

• On Dealing with Fame:
  “I'm really happy we hit the generation, by the way, that was just pre-social media.” (Dylan, 57:14)

• On the Home Intruder:
  “He kind of came…like a raccoon. Like, he was like, whoa, what do I do now?...And I can hear him from the garage go, ‘nobody.’ Which is like some real Odyssey type s***.” (Dylan, 76:18)

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Episode Highlights (with Timestamps)

• Dad Mode, Parenthood, and Self-Image: [04:27–05:56]
• Meeting Barbara, Relationship Banter: [28:02–32:35]
• Social Media Uniqueness & Brand Transparency: [08:07–10:10]
• Growing Up Sprouse: Twins & Fame: [14:06–16:22], [57:14–61:39]
• Podcasting, Humor, and Guest Strategy: [71:13–72:18]
• The True Story Behind the “Home Invasion”: [72:38–83:03]

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Tone and Style

The episode is playful, down-to-earth, and candid, with Amanda drawing out Dylan’s quirky, sharp, and self-aware humor. There are frequent moments of laughter, off-the-cuff banter, and authentic reflections. Listeners will feel as though they’re eavesdropping on two friends catching up rather than a formal interview.

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Summary Takeaway

Dylan Sprouse opens up about entering his dad era, cherishing his relationship with Barbara Palvin, his unique approach to fame and social media, and the realities behind viral internet headlines. The episode blends light-hearted anecdotes, genuinely insightful reflections, and rapid-fire humor—delivering a fresh perspective on growing up in the spotlight and navigating adulthood, love, and fatherhood with wit and humility.

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For more Dylan and Amanda, tune into Dylan’s podcast "Wild Men" or follow him and Amanda on their respective social accounts.

Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hey, hey, hey. Happy Tuesday every everybody. Welcome to a new episode. Not skinny but not fat. It's a girl. It's your girl, Amanda. I hope everyone's having a wonderful day. You know that when people call me not skinny, not fat, I don't correct them. Just like it gives the same. Like I could probably change my handle and people wouldn't notice the butt is missing. When people call me not skinny, no butt fat. That's funny. Anyway, how is everybody doing? I don't know why I'm in a good mood. I was just really annoyed five minutes ago. Just family stuff. Sisters are crazy, families are crazy. And I love my family. Obsessed with my family. But sometimes I'm like, can I move to another country so I don't have to deal with your weird ass? So right now I'm sure this happens in many families, but like everybody's birthday is in August. Like my sister's three kids, her husband, my mom and Noah. Now Noah, because I'm normal, I celebrated his birthday with his class in June, which is like annoying for a summer birthday. But so he had his birthday party and now it's like yeah, of course on the day of we'll do like a cake with the family. But I'm like organized like that. Okay. My older sister is really not. So she's like scrambling trying to do her three kids birthdays together. Last minute I'm like, okay. Then her husband and my mom have the birthday on the same day. So if we try to plan something for my mom, it's like, oh, my husband has to be included too. And I'm like, we want to go to a girls massage. He's coming. Like it makes no sense. It's so all. It stresses me the out. I'm like, get me to Timbuktu. Like I cannot deal with this birthday craziness. You know what I mean? Like get your together. Anyway, so that's why I was pissed before I started recording. But then I just thought about you guys and got instantly happier. I was also talking to my sister just now about Shaboozi and Sierra Miller rumors and I was like, I love it, but that it said she was being canoodily with him. Somewhere on de moi. And they look pretty close. But then I was like, but she is flirtatious. Like, don't forget, like, her and Jesse used to canoodle, like, and she wasn't even gonna hook up with him, you know? So I feel like we can't know for sure, but I would like it. And then I told my sister. I was like, and I think I like his new song. And then I started singing his first song. And then she was like, no, it's a new song. And I was like, oh, it is a new song, but I think it sounds like the old song. She was like, I think it's exactly like the old song just gave me a chuggle.

[B]

And I know.

[A]

Whiskey. I love it. So country. Anyway, guys, what else is up? I have a very, very, very exciting podcast guest today. I was excited when we booked him, but I got more excited because leading up to him coming on the show, I started getting served and also just watching more and more clips of him from his new podcast, which is what he came on to to promote. And then I was like, oh, my God. Not only am I was I excited to have him as a guest, but now more excited because he seems so cool and conversational and interesting and funny. And then he came on and proved all of that to be right and more like, I left Giddy being like, I love him. It's Dylan Sprouse from the Sprouse Twins. You know him. You love him from that baby on Friends and Big Daddy to the Sweet Life. And now he's married to supermodel Barbara Palvin. He's a dad to be. And he's very much a dad, which I learned from the minute he walked into the studio with the chain on his glasses and New Balances. He's so cute. You're going to love him. You're going to enjoy this. You're going to. You're going to be giddy.

[B]

My dad is a religious speakerphone head. Like, he will. He refuses to take the call into his phone. He's always talking to the world for everything.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Which I am now doing myself. I didn't realize that this is, like, a something that can be genetically passed on.

[A]

It's like a dad thing to do.

[B]

I feel like it's absolute dad mode. I mean, I got the chained glasses already.

[A]

You're in dad mode.

[B]

I got New Balances on, dude. I'm about to hit a grill so hard this summer, I'm going to fucking crush it.

[A]

Wait, you're turning. You're. You're a Leo.

[B]

I'm a Leo. When's your pre day 34 on August 4th. Can you believe that?

[A]

Can you?

[B]

I still think I'm 15.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I don't think I've mentally changed.

[A]

Well, you do have a baby face.

[B]

I guess, but the face fluctuates a lot depending on how hungry I am,

[A]

when you're hungry or what happens.

[B]

I am like. I have like a weird elastic body. I've noticed that I can be. I can either be. I'm normally sitting at like a soft four, but I can hit a hard ten if I lock in.

[A]

In hotness.

[B]

In hotness. I can lock into a nine if I know you free lock in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But I'm comfortable at a soft four

[A]

when you're locking in. You mean what? Like the routine?

[B]

Working out, hitting the gym, eating right. But it's a full time gig to do that.

[A]

Yeah, I'm aware.

[B]

I don't have the.

[A]

I mean you're on the not skinny but not fat pod.

[B]

Dude, this is the story of my life.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Maybe this was titled for a guest like me.

[A]

When your long hair era was an era.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When was that?

[B]

Barbara still loved me through that too. Which is crazy.

[A]

I would, I would think. My guess was that she maybe liked that more. Or no.

[B]

I have a theory that the guys who are. Who have been historically the most successful in the dating sphere are medium handsome, funny guys with a sense of humor

[A]

that have long hair.

[B]

No, that just attributes itself to medium handsome.

[A]

Okay. I think they're not medium handsome.

[B]

But when I have long hair, I'm like, I. I think in my mind I look like the way people look at Erling Holland in, in the Norway games and I'm like, that's what I look like. It's not what I look like.

[A]

It was good for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You think I liked it.

[B]

I found out though.

[A]

Did you do a bun ever?

[B]

I never really did a bun and I never really. I have very thick hair which I'm thankful for. My. That's my father's side. Which apparently they say that like your mother gives you the hair thing. Right.

[A]

Like if you bald. They're like, it's the mom's side.

[B]

Yeah, but it's. I know for a fact it's my dad's side. It's the same as it's hair.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if that was scientifically proven.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know either. Maybe color. Hair color.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know. But I just would never cut it thin it so it's just kind of a big mane.

[A]

And she loved you through it. Like, she dealt with it.

[B]

Barbara's just watched me undergo a lot of changes. She jokes a lot that she has, like a different looking husband every other month.

[A]

Like, what changes, though? Aside from hair, you were saying? Like the fluctuation.

[B]

Hair, body weight, you know, she loves you for you. She actually does love me for me, which is great.

[A]

Which is. Which is amazing.

[B]

I think that's the dream, right? That's what you're.

[A]

You're. That's what you want.

[B]

Yeah. You hopefully get.

[A]

Well, I'm glad you're here for many reasons. Thank you. But one of them is because your Instagram page always fascinated me. I don't know if anyone, if everyone pays attention to these things, but two things. One is that you have this, like, weird graphic.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

It used to fit a better on the older version of Instagram.

[A]

Okay, what's happening there?

[B]

So it was a drawn living room that I drew and in the 9 by 9 or the 9 grid, the 3 by 3 grid, it would like match up so that the TV was the picture that I was posting.

[A]

Okay. I thought it was like a animal.

[B]

I mean, it looks kind of like anything now because the format changed.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

However, I've also had those images for, I pretty sure, like nine, 10 years now.

[A]

But there's a. There's an intentional thing here where you keep that.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then you post a post and only the newest post stays in the first location and you get rid of anything before a hundred. Tell me about that. About that. Strategic.

[B]

It is strategic decision. You're very, you're very keen to notice. Because I, I want to, like, post for brands and stuff, but I definitely don't want to keep a coffee scrub on my page for three years.

[A]

But how often are you doing coffee?

[B]

Pretty rarely. But I'm just also, like, I don't necessarily want to have, you know, like a Coca Cola enema powder, like up on a page. It's just doing that.

[A]

It came from that.

[B]

It came from a practical standpoint of being like, okay, well, I'm gonna keep it up for three, four days. And you, the brand could come to us and be like, hey, we really wanna collaborate with you and we wanna work with you. And if it's stuff like I just love to post, then I'll just do it anyway. But after a certain amount of time, you're actually really paying for like a time period, which is actually what most brands already do.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But they'll do like, hey, four months, right?

[A]

They'll do four months. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I'll just be like, okay, well, it's most likely five days.

[A]

So it came from a brand thing, but now you're kind of stuck with this. Like, even if you post something, like your pod new pod clips, you're still keeping only one.

[B]

I'm keeping only one. But thankfully, the.

[A]

Oh, the real page.

[B]

The real page is separate now. And I thought I would do more of, like, the archived stories thing, like I did for, like, a year and a half.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I quickly realized I was just too much.

[A]

What do you mean, the archived stories thing?

[B]

Like, you know, it shows you, like, the previous. Like, you could put story albums on your paint.

[A]

Highlights. That's it. Highlights.

[B]

Dude. I know. It's bad. It's bad.

[A]

Okay, so you were doing highlight.

[B]

I'm also getting suggested, like, boomer AI content now, which, by the way, is

[A]

like, where you don't know if it's AI or not.

[B]

I know it's AI, but I know it's, like, designed to trick boomers. Right? Like. Like, you see it? My dad's like, I can't believe this guy exploded into stars. I'm like, well, I mean, it's probably AI. Did you see this French bulldog doing the Dougie? I was like, well, you know, I don't think it's real.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm getting suggested that.

[A]

It's crazy how quickly they're on to Instagram related. Your brother's. What's it called? The reverse duel.

[B]

Oh, camera duels.

[A]

Camera Duels account, which I've had many feelings about over the years. I feel like it's. It's a bit controversial, apparently.

[B]

Yeah. People do find that it's.

[A]

Okay. So Cole has an Instagram account where he will film fans or whatever filming him, and he's kind of like. Kind of like a.

[B]

Like, I see you.

[A]

Yeah, I see you. Sometimes I feel bad for them.

[B]

I wouldn't.

[A]

Right. A lot of people think that I

[B]

wouldn't because they also, like, I've had people come up to me not knowing that I have nothing to do with that account, and they're being like, I took a picture of you so that you could get me on camera. Duels. And I was like, oh, well, I hate to break it to you. You just took a picture of me mid bit.

[A]

Wait, like, oh, my God.

[B]

So there is that.

[A]

They have an ulterior motive now.

[B]

They do, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's a lot. I mean, I'm sure there's some that don't yeah. But I'm pretty sure there's a lot of.

[A]

I think they could get IG famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you love that account.

[B]

I think it's funny. Yeah, I think it's funny. I know that a lot of when Cole started that account, there was, like, a large amount of people in the industry who had reached out to him, been like, this is really valid.

[A]

They could relate.

[B]

Yeah. They found it very, like, validating because there is, like, an invasiveness to it, I think. But I don't ever think it comes from a place of, like, maliciousness, you know?

[A]

Yeah. It just comes maybe, like, there are more. There are, like, better ways to go about it.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think. I think, like, it comes from a place of. I think it comes from a place of weirdly kindness. And maybe I'm an optimist because they go, oh, I don't want to intrude on their day, but I do want to have this thing that I remember seeing him by, so I'm going to do it secretly. Which in its own way, is kind of invasive.

[A]

Yeah. Would you prefer to, like. Do you mind it to be approached?

[B]

No, not at all.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

But also, like, my brother and I lucked out in terms of our audience base, right? Because no one is like. And I've said this before, but no one is really, like, weird to us because we're just kind of like. We almost remind them of a family member 10 years ago, right. So they're not, like. They're not coming up and being aggressive or weird. Cole's gotten it different than I have after Riverdale, for sure. But when people see me, they're like, oh, my God, bro, like, let me get you a beer. And I'm like, yes.

[A]

It's not a toxic fandom.

[B]

No.

[A]

Right. No, it's like a wholesome.

[B]

It's like families.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Could you imagine being weird about that?

[A]

Look.

[B]

No. I'm in the gym. You're talking to, like, a 15 year old and her dad.

[A]

Wait, do you guys get confused? Like you were saying during Riverdale, Cole was getting kind of more of that. Would people think you were him? Like, I haven't seen you in the same room. Yeah, but like, how similar looking are you?

[B]

It goes like this. Twins are really weird, okay. Because I'll have. We'll have periods especially identical, but we'll have periods where we look very alike. Like, people right now are telling us it's one of those periods, okay. Where we look very alike, but then there'll Be periods of time where we are very different looking. And it's not only, you know, style or hair, whatever, it's actually face shape. Like, face shape will just look very different for a period of a year. Okay, let's say. But then we'll come back together. Right now my favorite thing is that Cole is being asked a lot. Or he's getting told, congratulations, having a baby. And Cole is, you know, he's in the city. Like, this is my favorite. Like, we will come up to him.

[A]

Growl.

[B]

No, he's just looking like, I'm not having a baby.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

He's gonna get. He's gonna get fomo.

[A]

And you would love that.

[B]

I think it's.

[A]

You love it. Well, how are you the same? Like, personality wise?

[B]

I mean, we were raised in the exact same environment, doing the exact same thing at the same time all of our lives. So that'll make you pretty alike.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like sense of humor and stuff.

[B]

A sense of humor is definitely alive. Yeah. Like, Cole and I have definitely, like, some of the weirdest humor algorithms on any social media. Like they are very strange.

[A]

Like you send each other.

[B]

Oh, it's the weirdest, strangest shit. And I'll like, even my co host on the podcast, Brendan, like, I'll send him the same stuff I'm sending Nicole and he's like, Dylan, this is really strange. Seek help.

[A]

Like, what kind of stuff? Give us an example.

[B]

I don't know when this happened, but do you remember years ago, like the. When you said meme, you had like, like advice raptor or advice dog and like philosopher and things like, I can has cheeseburger. Like, okay, it's dumb, but that was when it. Where it started. Uh, hu. Nowadays, they. The algorithm can perfectly find a meme that feels like it's expressly designed for your sense of humor.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And it's very strange to the point where I'm like, there are others out there like me who think this is funny. It's just a picture of a moth saying lamp. You know? Like, I'm like, this is insane. That can't really be.

[A]

I don't know, like, you thought you might be more original.

[B]

I thought it was more original. Definitely not.

[A]

So Brendan is your best friend.

[B]

He's my best friend.

[A]

You have the podcast together, but still, you still have that, the. The special brother bond for sure. And you were born before.

[B]

I was born 15 minutes before Cole. Yeah.

[A]

Do you use that?

[B]

It was the best 15 minutes of my life. No, he's.

[A]

Are you older?

[B]

I am older.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which, by the way, 15 minutes is long in mommy time, I think.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's like long. And twin time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Normally twins are born within minutes of each other. Fifteen, like, if you're pushing double digits, it's not. It's not a good.

[A]

Like, maybe there was some worry in the room. I don't know.

[B]

I think Cole's just cozy. He finally has on space.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He didn't want to come out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is like, not a nice joke, but I tell him that he was like, the longer he was in there, the more evil he became, so.

[A]

Well, I just saw your pod clip, which I've been loving because my Instagram also knew you were coming on. So I've been seeing them all. All. And I love them.

[B]

Did you start to get my memes? My, like, funny, weird humor memes? I'm going to send you something.

[A]

Send me one and then my.

[B]

Understand.

[A]

But I saw Barbara was on. Right. The podcast called Wild Men.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Barbara was on. And KJ was on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I loved your. Com. Both your conversations when KJ was on, you talked about. I mean, he. You're getting people to really open up.

[B]

K is a good friend of mine.

[A]

How did you become friends? Because they were filming Riverdale in Canada. Did you go often?

[B]

I didn't go very often, but they came back from Vancouver often because Vancouver was like. Vancouver's like, one of the most beautiful places in the world, but it's, like, not a fun place to be.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And like, no, hate to people from Vancouver, but, like, it's.

[A]

It's in the winters. In the. In the winters especially, honestly, in the

[B]

summers, like, you have, like, two good. Really good months in Vancouver, but it's. The rest of the time, it's. I think it's on the same. I don't know if it's longitude or latitude or whatever it is, but it's on the same longitude, latitude as like. Like the uk. So it's pretty gloomy and rainy and the seasons can be pretty hard there and it can be pretty depressive. So I know a lot of the. A lot of the cast and crew, any opportunity they get, they would come

[A]

back to LA because it's closed. It's like a quick flight.

[B]

I think it's like a three, four hours. Not bad.

[A]

So you got to hang out a lot. You became close.

[B]

Yeah. And K.J. and I became friends, obviously, through Cole. But K.J. was also very, like. He was really kind of my brother's brother while there, you know, and so as his brother, I Was like, okay, naturally, I think we're gonna get along. And you're also, like, kind of taking care of him and watching his back, which was always nice.

[A]

Did you ever get competitive over friends?

[B]

No.

[A]

Like, if your friend became his friend kind of vibe?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Like, is Brendan only your friend?

[B]

No, no, I think that's been, like. Part of the joy is seeing them become friends. Like, we. We, Cole, as well as myself and Brendan were all at NYU together for, you know, four years. Brendan tried to drop out and not graduate, but it didn't work. His parents dragged him back to the graduation. It was quite funny.

[A]

Wait, you went there? What year were you at NYU?

[B]

We were class of 2015.

[A]

Because you know what's funny? On your Wikipedia, you know how it says year is active? And most people, it's like, from when they started till now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And for you, did you know this? It's like, years active. 1993 till 2011 or something? 12. Yeah. And then two. 17 and on.

[B]

That's so funny. They say that I took a hiatus.

[A]

Yeah, you took a hiatus. Going to Wikipedia.

[B]

I mean. I mean, that's. That's.

[A]

Is that college years? Like, what. What is that?

[B]

Okay, that's college. I. I made a very concerted effort that I did not want to act really, at all during the college experience, just because I also am too dumb to micromanage all of that at the same time. Yeah, but, you know, we were. We were in class with other actors and actresses and who were working, and I don't even know if they still graduated.

[A]

Wait, but you did video games? No.

[B]

Yeah, that sounds.

[A]

I don't think I've ever heard of anyone that went to school for that.

[B]

I love it. I was actually talking about it on the way over here. I just think it's my preferred medium of entertainment in general, just for me personally. And I still have a dream of maybe putting a nest egg aside and producing and making games. It's hasn't come to life.

[A]

Do you know, like, is that what you learned? Like, how to design video games?

[B]

Yeah, how to design games. And I also think that. Well, so I double minored in creative writing and also studio art, too. So it was really like, art direction, game design, and that kind of thing, which I really still love. And I think games are, like, my number one hobby.

[A]

You play a lot?

[B]

I play a lot. Like, the same way people watch TV and movies and, like, they binge it. I just play video games.

[A]

Does that annoy your wife?

[B]

No. She, like, very early on understood that this was my previous love and that she was coming along for the ride with it.

[A]

Is sports part of your life?

[B]

Only the Dodgers.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Baseball. Baseball, yeah. Only the Dodgers.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But Barbara's actually a gamer herself and she's a gamer. Yes, she is, but kind of more so. Like, her and her sister are very into board games, traditional card games, tabletop games. And so naturally that eventually translated into when I would, like, try to show them some things and they were like, oh, this game's really fun. And they would co op it together. And so it's been cool to see that too.

[A]

So does she play with you, like, against you?

[B]

We, yeah, the games we normally play, like couch co op games together. Like, I think the one of them is it takes two. And then there's this other one that they release which I'm sadly forgetting the name of now. But we love those. Every time that there's like a new co op story mode game, we have a lot of fun playing them.

[A]

We'll be right back after the break. Today's episode is sponsored by the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance Program. My Leo is getting old and Leo. Okay, Leo, my dog that you should all know about. And sometimes you're like, you have a dog who shot on your carpet. Lenny. No, Leo. Okay? He's getting older. We're in denial. We're googling things. Is this normal? Or his eyes about to pop out of their socket. Like, it gets stressful when dogs age and also when dogs get sick because it happens suddenly. It's always when you least expect it and it's always when it's really not the right time for you. Okay? But it's part of life. Life of having a pet. And that's why ASPCA Pet Health Insurance exists. It helps take some of the financial stress out of vet care so you can focus on your pet and less on the cost, which, like, is a factor. Right. It's like he can get this treatment, but it costs this much and you're like, ah, but he's old. 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This is the paid advertisement insurance said underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company produced by BTC Insurance Agency Ltd. The SPC is not insured, is not engaged in the business of insurance. I am obsessed with my sponsors, but I also am obsessed when it happens in the most organic way, which is I become obsessed with the product, they notice I'm obsessed with the product, they reach out to me and they're like, can we support your show and do this for realsies? And I'm like, sure, I've been doing it not for realsies. So would love to make it for realsies. You know what I mean? Like that's just chef's kiss and that's what just makes me the happiest. But anyway, when I found out about Egg Life okay, the wraps, I became immediately obsessed. I was looking for a low carb wrap option and finding out about Egg Life, I was like, why are more people not talking about this? Okay, These wraps, they're made from egg whites. Not even the yolk, okay? Not flour. Total game changer. First, you're getting your protein right from the egg white. They're low in carbs, like super, like maybe one. And it's just clean. It's literally like an egg white. Okay. Things I love to put in them yesterday. Last night I had some rotisserie chicken. I put a little bit of light mayo, little bit of chicken, tomatoes, avocado, wrapped it up, sriracha on top, bada bing, bada bam. You want something sweet PB and jelly rolled up for breakfast on their cinnamon flavored Egg Life wrap. You guys. So good. It makes the perfect high protein lunch snack dinner wrap for my gluten free girlies. And by the way, they also make pasta, which this week has made like these meatballs and he made regular pasta for the kids. So I ate it with my Egg Life pasta. And guess what? So freaking good. Egg Life egg white wraps make it easy to sneak in high quality protein into your Favorite meals and snacks. Find Egg Life Chillin in the refrigerator section. Aldi, Whole Foods, Kroger, Target, Walmart, and more. Visit egglifefoods.com to find a retailer near you and tag me so I can see what you cook up. Just don't know how many times I need to tell you. Neutrophil, Nutrafol, it actually really helped me. I actually really started taking it after I had Noah. I was a little late then to the game because I had just started hearing about it. I did give birth in 2020, and then I remember even sliding into people that I follow DMs after they would post about Neutrophil and show their fab hair. And I used to be like, does it really work? Because I always thought, like, I have thick hair, so, like, I don't care about the postpartum shed. Got nothing on me. And then the postpartum shed starts happening in places you don't necessarily want it to happen. And you're like, okay, I see what everybody's talking about. Here's what I love about neutral. Literally, so many people see improved hair growth, decreased shedding, visible thickness while taking neutrophil. It's clinically tested, okay? All that and obviously drug free. Okay? My hair is so important to me. There are things that are important to me. My face and my hair. My body too, okay? But it's like coming in third. I'm now realizing, like, you know, if a medication would be like, hair loss, face shrinking, I'd be like, don't love that. For me, I'd keep my hair in my face. Okay? You know what I mean? You guys get what I'm saying? You guys get between line. So hair is super important to me, and that's why I take neutral. It's a number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand and is a number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. So let your hair be one less thing to worry about. See visibly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair in three to six months with Neutrophil for a limited time, Neutrophil is offering my listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to neutrophil.com and enter promo code. Not Skinny Ten, neutrophil.com spelled N U T R A F O L.com promo code and Not Skinny Ten. And we're back. So you slid into her DMs.

[B]

I didn't. That's like a weird wait that's made up. Well, I did, but the myth is that, like, people think that's how we met. Oh, okay.

[A]

And it's not.

[B]

No, we met in person. We met in person at the Harper's Bazaar Icons party. And she cut me in line for the red carpet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And. And she, like, I was waiting for the step and Repeat for like 10 minutes because it was a big line and I'm.

[A]

This is important information. I love people to know this. When you guys see pictures of celebrities on carpets and you're like, so fancy, so glam, there is a line.

[B]

Yeah. You've been waiting for a minute that

[A]

personally, I can say, I don't know how you feel. Yeah, it feels so desperate.

[B]

No, it's so. It feels like disgusting to be on that line. Grass.

[A]

It feels like I'm waiting.

[B]

There's also, like, there's an impending imposter syndrome when you get up to the front of the line for everybody.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's every. It's all communal because you get up there, they say your name, someone waves the car, they go, this is probably why wait.

[A]

By the way, that's also important for you guys to know when you see that they're yelling somebody's name. I mean, obviously you're very well known, but if you see an influencer or somebody that you're like, wait, how do 17 photographers just know who this? But they are told who this. And by the way, they might not even know people that we know 100%.

[B]

That's their job.

[A]

Yeah. They get a card. So that's why you have 20, you know, photographers screaming your name. So you get there, you're waiting in line, you cut her. You cut her in line or she cut you?

[B]

She. I was up at the front of the line and totally like a rom com. She just jumps over the red velvet divider and cuts me. And I was like, I don't care how pretty you are, you're not cutting me. And I was wearing a red and white striped button down. And she turns around, I don't care

[A]

how pretty you are, young lady.

[B]

And she turns around and I'm wearing this red and white striped shirt. And she goes, what are you, a hot dog vendor? And I was just immediately in love. Like, it was that simple.

[A]

You love that she. That was her comeback.

[B]

She has banter, dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was talking about this recently on the pod too, but I think on the KJ episode, but I was like, I really think humor is the key to a really positive long term relationship. Because if you can't laugh at the same stuff, it's like, I Don't even know what it would be like without it. I honestly, I don't have the experience because I. I just need to be with someone who makes me laugh. I don't think that I could manage it any other way. Like when I'm sitting at a dinner table with Barbara and we're like, laughing about something and I can see a couple who's like, sitting down in complete silence. I'm like, what do you do when you get home? Do you still. Do you still have sex when you get home? Like, is it fun?

[A]

Is it bad?

[B]

Like, what do you. What do you do?

[A]

Well, my question was going to be. Because I thought you slid in. I thought that's how you met.

[B]

I did message her eventually.

[A]

Okay, so you met. She says, hot dog vendor. Does it continue?

[B]

Yeah, we ended up at the like bar by happenstance after our little banter exchange. And. And, you know, we had some more bants and then I told her, I was like, hey, you know, I've been here for 15 minutes, probably too long. I don't know if you're from out here, but I'll wait for the door for me. Wait by the door. As a joke, I said that. I was like, wait by the door and I'll come say goodbye. And she goes, yeah, I'll be there. And then the next day I messaged her. I said, hey, I know you said you're from Hungary, but if you're out in New York for a minute, I'd love to grab a beer or coffee with you and maybe we can hang out and, you know, talk some more shit together. And she goes, hey, I'm still here by the door. Are you coming or not? And I was like, dude, I'm so in.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

But it.

[A]

We were. She's so cool.

[B]

She's the best. But we were also both like freshly out of relationships at that time. And it took us about probably about seven months to really get together. And there was a big period of time where we just didn't talk to each other just because, like, I was busy and she was busy with her life and it didn't really happen. But we ended up. We ended up having our first date in China, believe it or not, because

[A]

you were both there.

[B]

I was filming out in Beijing and she had a campaign shoot. And so that's like where I really want to go for our five year anniversary, which is just. We want to go back to Beijing.

[A]

A five year wedding.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you've been together since what was 2018 when you met 2018 is when

[B]

we met or started dating. I don't know. Barbara hates that. I don't know exact. Exact numbers.

[A]

Like, what's it.

[B]

But it's been a while now. It's been like, almost 10 years.

[A]

Years.

[B]

That's so right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's been a long time. And so you were 20, 24, 25.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To get into your, like. You know, the other thing that I think have. I have a relationship at that age, for sure.

[B]

But it's one of those, like, when. You know, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also, like, come on. This is one of the things I say, too, where I'm like, dude, what was I gonna do? I'm not gonna get better than Barbara. Like, let's be. Let's be, like, very pragmatic. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's be very pragmatic. Like my ancestors. Yeah, bro. Like, my ancestors and my bloodline would have, like, cursed me if I didn't make the best of what I got, you know, I was like. I was shooting way above my pay grade.

[A]

Yeah. Which. Because when I thought that you just slid in and you had no previous, like, meeting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then I was like, wow, like, the ball's on you. And I was also going to ask if you were then surprised that she is the way she is, because, like, models, you know, they get kind of stereotyped into, you know.

[B]

You know, it is funny that kind of. That you mentioned that, because in their period of, like, not really speaking, before we actually started dating, I had met kind of some of her friends who we had, like, mutual friends with at some point, just randomly here and there. And they would, you know, find out I'm single. And they would go, hey, you know what? I have this friend who's single who I really think you should talk to. And it was always Barbara.

[A]

So people thought you were a fit?

[B]

People thought we were a fit. Even when after we had met, they were like, oh, and in China, this is a funny thing because people joke a lot that we look very alike.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

People.

[A]

Do you see it?

[B]

Yeah, I see it for sure. We're both narcissists. Yeah.

[A]

You're like, she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

[B]

Just looking at me. No.

[A]

No. Looking in the mirror.

[B]

No. I think it's actually, like, rude to say that we look alike, because it's. Again, it's one of those things where it's like, like, come on. She's like, supermodel.

[A]

She's always been, by the way. Not that, you know, you. Anyone needs my opinion, but for Me personally, pre Dylan and Barbara, I've always been like such a stan of her. She's amazing and just like her beauty and how like, different she is in the landscape of, of models. And I've always been obsessed 100 with the way she looks.

[B]

Yeah. By the way, now I know she's cool too. That's the thing, is that people are like, they look alike. I'm like, guys, you're talking about a woman who's so beautiful, she's on like, literally empirical lists for being like, like a beauty stand. No one's looking at Dylan Sprouse and being like, God damn, that's the creme de la creme. Like, come on, get real.

[A]

Can you stop self deprecating?

[B]

Look, it's. It's my love language. Yeah. I'll never be able to, but, you

[A]

know, they just thought about it the other day, like, like, it is the funniest. Like, I will always laugh at that. Like, I think it's so funny, but I feel like I do it too often to make other people laugh and like. Yeah, then what are we doing?

[B]

I still think deep down you think you're awesome, though. Like, I can tell. Yeah, I can tell. I know. I'm awesome too.

[A]

Okay, so is it acceptable then to like, hate on ourselves all day if

[B]

you know when it's like. I think when you talk to people who are really self deprecating, you know, when it's like, like legit.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They hate themselves.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that's sad. And I, like, I, I have friends like that. And I think then it's your kind of your moral responsibility is your buddy to be like, hey, you're awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know, I don't like hearing you talk about yourself that way. But when it's funny, it's fine. Like in this case, I mean, like, again, come on. She's Barbara Palvin. And I'm like, I'm Dylan Sprouse, mind you. Like, again, when I shape up, you're not nobody. I could be a nut. Yeah, but that's. On a really, really good day. Barbara's. Barbara's cranking a 10.

[A]

Wait. Do you know wake up every morning with that feeling?

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Like, how did I score this?

[B]

I mean, we're also 10 years in, right? So. Yes, of course I do. But at the same time, like, part of the joy for me is that it's become so much more casual.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Right. Like in the, in the beginning of dating anybody, you're kind of like, oh, my gosh, like, I can't wait to show you my things and do this. But, like, we've had that, too. But Barbara and I's shorthand with everything now is like, we're like an old married couple.

[A]

Do you have a nickname for her, or is it Barbara all the time?

[B]

I don't ever call her Barbara. I call her bae. Baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's kind of, like, you know, cliche, but.

[A]

And now you're having a baby. What a nice transition. I know you're having a baby. I love, loved the reveal.

[B]

It's cute.

[A]

Well, I mean, like, the pregnancy reveal.

[B]

Yeah, that was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that. Was that a decision that. That you guys kind of made?

[B]

Full Barbara's decision. Yeah, Full Barbara's decision.

[A]

It's exciting. It was cool.

[B]

It was very cool. And I mean, she just looked so beautiful, and I think it was such

[A]

a big, like, did she wear pink or blue? I can't remember.

[B]

She wore both.

[A]

On perp.

[B]

On perp.

[A]

On per. Did you guys know at that point what it was?

[B]

We did. Yeah. We weren't really, like. We weren't ever really trying to be like, you know, one of those. I think as Californian, you've experienced so many fires started by gender reveals. You're just kind of like, nah, we should just learn the gender.

[A]

Wait, so you just got the call from the doctor, and, like, you were both on the phone.

[B]

We just did the. We did the thing. Yeah, we did. Well, we had, like, been going up through the steps at that point. What's actually funny, and I don't think I've said this before, but I'll. I'll, you know, set the record now, you know, we talking about. It's always kind of gross because you're just like, I'm having sex with my wife. Like, people are always like, dude, like, we're trying. Like, we're conceiving.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, you guys are just having sex.

[A]

Yeah. And sometimes you get into it. You're like, so you were conceived? And it's like, no. That means literally your parents were boning.

[B]

Yeah. That's pretty much, like. You want to boil it down all you like. But it happened, like, right after New Year's, which is funny. Like, the day of New Year's, we, like, we kind of found out. Or. No, the. On the second.

[A]

So she found out when she was like.

[B]

We had an inkling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was one of those things, too, which is also kind of gross, where you both kind of go, like, that's the one. That's the one.

[A]

So, you know, like, what?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When it happened. But I liked how you did the reveal, too, for the gender, because you just kind of did it on your pod.

[B]

I think it's kind of funny how people just, like, they want to make big things out of every single month. Like, you know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I'm. I'm not formulating this correctly, but I'm like, just talk about it. I don't.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, No, I.

[B]

We did a number of ultrasounds, and then you do your blood work. And then the blood work continues. Oh, the nip.

[A]

The nip. The nip.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The nipped. Yes.

[B]

So that's. That's what told us. And then we were just like, let's just look and find out.

[A]

Oh, so that's what I mean, that moment. Because I think the gender reveal of it all, which I'm guilty of doing, but if I had another kid, I wouldn't do it.

[B]

Did you do, like, the balloon or, like.

[A]

No, I did a cake.

[B]

Oh, the cake's.

[A]

It's anticlimactic. No matter how you cut, you know, you're cutting the cake and you're, like, looking for the candy, it doesn't, like, pour out, you know?

[B]

Wait, so I just imagine that the cake was, like, the color of the baby.

[A]

No. Because you want. No. You give the cake, place the envelope from the doctor.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yes. Well, I believe if you're doing it, then do it for real. When you're surprised. There are people that fail, fake. Do it like they know, and then they want that moment.

[B]

Oh, that's weird, right?

[A]

I want, like, they know. I don't know. I cut it. It comes out, I find out. But if I had another baby, then I. Then I would do just that. But I just feel like I get what you're saying. People make a big thing out of the things that. Whatever.

[B]

But no, in California, like, it's especially bad.

[A]

And it's like. So it's. So it's a girl. I mean, I guess that's exciting.

[B]

No, we, like, opened the thing together. Like, we, like, sat down, and we were like, holy shit. And obviously our hearts were, like, pounding. And the way that it was designed is you could look at, like, the online thing, and you have to click whether you're interested in seeing the gender. Oh. And then we clicked in. We clicked yes. And it said, get ready.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

So it's kind of a reveal, but it was just like, yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[B]

Yeah, it was kind of a reveal, but it was just online.

[A]

How excited Were you that it's a girl?

[B]

I'm extremely, extremely excited. It's a girl. I think this is the first. This is like, the first Sprouse girl born in very long time, so.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So we. We have a very small family in general, but this is the first Sprouse girl in a very long time, which makes me nervous because I come from a family of just boys, basically, so my dad can't really help me understand this. Barbara, obviously, her family can.

[A]

Are they in Hungary? Her. All her family. Okay.

[B]

Actually, her sister lives out here, though, in New York, who I'm staying with right now. And so we have, like, that infrastructure. But in terms of, like, raising a baby girl, I am. It's completely unknown to me. However, I'm very excited because all my buddies who have boys seem like they're undergoing, like, a traumatic experience.

[A]

Yeah. I have boys. It's a true statement.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they do say, like, girls can be easier, chiller, sleep better, all the things. Things.

[B]

I'm excited because I genuinely love tea parties. Like, I am an authentic fan of the high.

[A]

You're have to wait a little for that. It's like that. Like, she's like a newborn. You're like, so when am I bringing this up? Wait, but get your stuffed animals. I saw. Barbara said she's excited for the girl because it will mellow you out. Yeah, I mean, are you on mellow?

[B]

Not really. That's the funny thing. I think that's like a. It's kind of a Fortarian joke. Yeah, that's a term that we use on wild men. But it's kind of just like. It's a thing that everyone. No, it's hard to explain. I'll send you a clip. I'll send you a meme about it.

[A]

About Fortarian.

[B]

I'm sure there's one online that's expressly designed for it, but. But it's the same way that, like, when we were. When we still are. We're in a. About eight months now, but.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Almost. I know. Ready to pop. Barbara's not happy that I'm in New York right now. I gotta go back.

[A]

Really? Okay. He's like, you decided to come on with a pod now.

[B]

I am nesting. And you are not in New York.

[A]

Oh, that's a real thing. And she want to change the whole apartment and everything.

[B]

Yeah. And I gotta get to work on baby proofing. Yeah, I gotta get to work baby proofing hard, you guys.

[A]

You don't need baby proofing. It's a baby they don't move for the first time.

[B]

Like a potato for the first three months.

[A]

Potato. Yeah. You don't need to baby proof right now. Not. You like baby proofing and, like, pulling out the tea set when, like, it's not.

[B]

Baby can't lift its head up. Baby, I'm like, here, take the tea

[A]

and stop going in the cabinets. I lock those up for you.

[B]

Is that a thing? You gotta lock the cabinets?

[A]

Well, that's the baby proofing part.

[B]

Really?

[A]

You gotta, like, put a thing because

[B]

then they'll open it for me. Because I love going in my cabinets. I love going in there.

[A]

So I know you're excited, but are you worried about anything? How it's gonna, like, change your life? Or are you. Are you ready as can be?

[B]

I'm worried, but excited, too. I think practically. I think it's, you know, it's obviously our first child and we. I think that's, like, a load of work that you're. You really can't expect what to do until you're kind of there. Like, you can read only so much and you can, like, hear.

[A]

Are you reading for real?

[B]

Yeah, we're reading right now.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, we are?

[B]

Yeah. We both were, like, kind of, like, doing the same book. Like, oh, I written this chapter and

[A]

you guys are so cute.

[B]

We're cute. We're cute as heck, dude. Cute as heck.

[A]

And people ship. People ship. You, like, you're a power couple, I guess.

[B]

You know, like, it's funny, but, you know, we just, like. We really like to be mellow a lot. Which is what? Like, to the question again, like, we spend a lot of time just laying down and, like, eating Doritos and, like, watching stuff.

[A]

She eats Doritos. That's really annoying.

[B]

It's unfair.

[A]

She can eat, like.

[B]

It's actually really unfair. It's actually worth putting out of your mind.

[A]

Don't think about it.

[B]

It's not fair. And I've decided it's not fair. And I came to peace with it. I decided it's not fair, and I came to peace with it. Whatever could work out for a week and be like, an Olympian. And I have to work my fucking ass off for a shred of muscle and no respect.

[A]

We'll be right back after the break. You guys know how I'm always looking for ways to make life easier, especially on busy days when I'm recording, running around, chasing my kids, and trying to get 47, 000 things done at once. That's why I love Starbucks, Frappuccino, bottled Coffee drinks. They are chic, they are delicious, they are convenient, and they make this chaotic life feel perky and manageable. And I say perky because we all deserve an indulgence in our life. And like, coffee plus an indulgence just puts my day on the right track. I love that I can grab one from the fridge, throw it in my bag, and go. So whether I'm heading in the studio, sitting down to edit the pod, squeezing in a little afternoon, pick me up. I need that pick me up, by the way. It changes my life. The easiest way to enjoy that is a Starbucks Frappuccino drinks. There are so many flavors to choose from. There is literally something for everyone. It is beyond to keep in your fridge for guests that will be like, yes, of course. Give me one of those. I'd love a Starbucks cappuccino drink. You made my day because it's yummy. It makes you feel like you're at home. It makes you feel like you're getting something that you fully deserve. Find bottled Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your grass or groceries and stock on up. Put them in your fridge and make every guess who walks into your home feel like they've won the lottery. You guys know I'm nosy by nature, and I'm very inclined to want to know more about my health, which is why Superpower is right up my alley. I want to know everything that's going on within my body because I can feel everything that's going on my body. It affects everything about my life. So I need to know what's going on medically. 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And you'll unlock 15 off bullying branch.com/not skinny. Code not skinny. Exclusions apply. And we're back. Another thing that when I was preparing for the interview, because I'm a professional, it says everywhere, Born in Italy. Born in Italy. And then reading deeper into it, it's like, you were there for what, six months?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So do you like that this is attached to your.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like, I. I will say, I mean, like, you know, Hungary and, like, far and away Italy, if you haven't been, is just kind of the best European country to go to Italy. It is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the best.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

People want to talk about everywhere else. Dude, fuck it.

[A]

And you're like, I was born there,

[B]

and I was born there. And when we went back to our hometown where we were born, and I say hometown, but really woodland.

[A]

Okay, so answer to my question. You fucking love it.

[B]

Fucking love it.

[A]

Does he like that? That's it. Yes.

[B]

I will clarify. I will clarify because I think this is important. I do not call myself Italian, nor do I think I'm Italian. I'm not pretending that I'm Italian because I think far too often and something that irks me just of this could be Italian. I have no. Have no nona in Italian. In any of my Italian lineage. I have no.

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, what are you mostly. Here's what. Here's the. What I want to say. I'll tell you what. I am Californian, and I'm Californian because I think when you get brought up in a place, it affects the person that you are far more than your, like, genetic lineage. I think, like, dude, me going and hanging out with the El Camino real kids in fucking dickies and high socks in Woodland Hills, California, is way more essential to my identity than, like, my genetic background. And funny enough, I was reading up, like, not long ago on, like, this thing, and I was like, apparently Teddy Roosevelt had a big. Had a Had a big, like, stance on this, which he called people, like, stop calling yourself hyphenated Americans and call

[A]

yourself blah, blah, blah, American.

[B]

Exactly. Just call yourself from where you're from. And I know that was, like. That was politically charged and stuff, so I don't really necessarily agree with. But I did find it interesting. And that was a. That was a thing even back then, right. Where people were like, I'm actually much more related to my previous home than I am related to, you know, Pennsylvania.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Really? You're probably just from Pennsylvania. You know what I mean? So I say I love being from Italy, but at the same time, I'm like. Like, I'm kind of a valley brat. I'm not like, yeah, not much else.

[A]

Right. Well, what was the hometown? Is it, like, a place we'd know?

[B]

It was. It's a Retso is where we were born in, and it's in Toscana.

[A]

Uhhuh.

[B]

And when my brother and I first went back, like, within the first 10 minutes, this girl runs up to us on the street and goes, oh, my God, you guys. Like, you've not been here again since you were born, right? And we're like, yeah. And she goes, yeah, my grandmother delivered you.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

We were like, what?

[A]

You're like, you're Nona.

[B]

Yeah, you're. Wait, you have a Nona. I need one of those.

[A]

Wow, that's crazy.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's cute that you went back to visit. You lived there for what, six months?

[B]

Six months. And then we moved for my dad's work. We moved to Switzerland. Lucerne. Switzerland. Where we spent a lot more time, funny enough. So I have more memories from Lucerne. Actually, my first memory is. Is pulling on the tail of a goat, and I got kicked by the goat over a fence.

[A]

Are you scared of goats now?

[B]

No, I love them. I think they're cool as hell, but I do.

[A]

Wait, how old were you that you remember that?

[B]

Like, sub two.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

First memory is like getting kicked by a goat, though. I mean, it's pretty memorable.

[A]

I. I wouldn't picture Switzerland as, like, the goat.

[B]

Oh, it's beautiful. Rolling green hills and farmland and a lot of areas over there. Switzerland's like, like, remarkably beautiful.

[A]

So then Switzerland. So then when do you move to California?

[B]

When my mom and my dad were thinking about having a divorce, which they then acted on. I like to say they. They were thinking about it. Yeah, no, they did.

[A]

You know the timeline.

[B]

Yeah. I think we were about, like, three, four. So around that time, my mom Would fly back with us and we would literally fly to and from Burbank, California, and like, Switzerland, which was hard. And then my dad eventually moved back to California where. Where he, you know, we stayed.

[A]

And then he raised you from about 11 onward?

[B]

From about 11 onward. And my mom suffered from, like, a lot of different things, but it was largely drug induced and. And she kind of like, there was a big custody battle around the time that we were 11, which is like, conveniently when we were starting the Suite Life, which was crazy.

[A]

Do you remember, like, being aware that that was going on?

[B]

Yeah, we did, like, the court appointed therapy and stuff, which was a huge bummer. It was just a drag. Not like, it was like, man, this really stinks. It was like one of the most boring things ever. The lady was like, putting us asleep.

[A]

Like, driver's ed vibes.

[B]

Realize this is really hard. And we're like, yes, at 11. At 11.

[A]

And you guys, you think you maybe didn't understand it fully too?

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you're like, what. What do you really understand at 11?

[A]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

You're not like, well, the geopolitical politics of this day and age. Like, I feel like I. I need a therapist. Right? You're like, I'm like, I want to go run outside.

[A]

You're like, I'm actually on a very successful TV show.

[B]

You don't know it yet because it's not your age demographic, but maybe your kids will like the show.

[A]

Well, could you imagine if that happened now? Like, the world would probably know about it.

[B]

But as in, like, the cussy battle and.

[A]

Or like there was something was happening at home and whatever. Like then, like, we didn't have social media. No one really knew about people's private lives. Cole spoke a little bit about, like, growing up with your father and stuff.

[B]

I'm really happy. We, like, hit the generation, by the way, that was like just pre social media.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I couldn't imagine.

[A]

You couldn't imagine. There was stuff, right? There was what, J14. What was going on at the time.

[B]

Tiger Beat, right? Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Bop. Those things.

[A]

Did you used to go on? Did you still read up about yourself?

[B]

I wish I could find the, like, the collection of, like, the covers from those cheesy magazines we were on. Because they're actually like, kitschy and cool.

[A]

But they were nice, right? They weren't.

[B]

No, they were never really like. They weren't like yellow media tablets.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I don't think they were just like, funny and cute. It was like, look at all these cute New boys. It was like, that's like, basically it's like, like aimed at, I think like young girls mostly.

[A]

Well, for sure. And also like, were you aware at that time how many young girls had like crushes on you? Like, were you aware of like.

[B]

No chance.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Because also think about that. That's the other divide. Right. Because there's no real social media. What? You're just like, you just go to work and then you go home and then you can like maybe hear online or in public when someone says something to you, but you're not like, like receiving a mass amount of feedback all the time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So.

[A]

So is it able to be a little bit normal,

[B]

I guess, at that age?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean we were, we were in public school up until about like high school and then. And then set school.

[A]

Basically like set school.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

You also had each other, which I feel like is big difference with maybe other child actors.

[B]

Yeah, it makes it so.

[A]

Yeah. To like do all this, all this stuff together and have somebody to like lean on 100. But you talked about like, which I feel like not many people talk about that. Like you started acting at the age that you did, which was like what, six months or being in stuff out of a need for money. Right. Or did one of you said it.

[B]

Yeah, I guess that's. It's. I think it's. I mean if you want to boil it down, it could definitely be that we started acting at that age. And you can hardly call it acting.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I know it's like drooling and farting like.

[A]

Right. We still do, but like very cute pro now.

[B]

I've been doing it for years.

[A]

Well being and stuff.

[B]

Yeah. My mom and my dad were thinking about their divorce like we talked about. And then I think she very intelligently saw that there was this industry that was happening in California which at that point in time, again, no social, no self tapes. These weren't really a thing. If you wanted to be an actor back in that day, you were basically hoofing it in California or you were doing theater in another part of the

[A]

world and you were waiting in rooms with the hundreds of other kids.

[B]

Funny enough, I never remember being in the hundreds room, but there was like five of the same kids you saw all the time.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And unlike I think nowadays where it's like you basically. I think casting agents can pick from a Rolodex of people they think is exactly the person that they're casting. Like back in the day you had to be like, all right, today I'M a goblin, and you're like, okay, well, tomorrow I'm a sweetheart in my classroom. Like, you really had to put on more of a mask. I think nowadays they don't require that much of you. And I think, like, the actors are cast definitely more to be, like, who they are. And we as kids, when we got into the industry, it was really a practical thing because kids can only work so many hours in child labor laws. But if you had the same baby, you could double your hours.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So twins were hired a lot.

[A]

Did you ever connect with the Olsen twins on your both being twinsies?

[B]

We did, but they were also, like, fully adults, and we were, you know, like kiddos. Right. I don't know the age difference.

[A]

I think they're maybe, like, five years older than you. They're not in their 40s. Dylan,

[B]

what's the age?

[A]

I think they're my age. I think they're 38. So they're seven years. Six years older than you.

[B]

Six years old. Which, by the way, when you're young, that's like a. Yeah, you're like, huge difference.

[A]

Yeah. So you. Have you met them? Yeah. Okay.

[B]

A long time ago.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're kind of like more like New York legends. That's what's like.

[A]

They are the row.

[B]

Yeah, dude. They're kind of like New York legends. I didn't realize that until I came out here and people were like, yeah, they rock.

[A]

Well, you could smoke cigs together. That's for sure.

[B]

For sure. For sure. I quit Sigs, though. And now I'm on this stupid thing.

[A]

What? The gums, the vape.

[B]

I'm on this.

[A]

Oh, that is stupid. What flavor?

[B]

I'm really glad, by the way, I'm married, because I want to be a single guy smoking this out and about. Could you imagine how unattractive that is?

[A]

Is, personally?

[B]

It's an ick.

[A]

It's an ick. A Sig is way cooler, by the way.

[B]

Like, the Jewel used to be sexy.

[A]

But wait, why did people quit the Jewel?

[B]

I think just the infrastructure died.

[A]

I don't know. I have no clue why a Jewel was cooler. And now everyone's with this.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Watermelon.

[B]

Let me see.

[A]

I don't know. Oh, they did.

[B]

They did not in California. Or maybe they did in California. This is sour strawberry. You want to puff?

[A]

No, I don't. Wait, when Cole Smith smoked cigs when he did the podcast, Call Her Daddy podcast, did you make fun of him? I hope you did.

[B]

I thought it was sick as hell. I don't know.

[A]

Wait, wait. You should pay me. Yeah. Wait, wait.

[B]

The same thing, just the way cooler version.

[A]

So anyway, no, when he lit up that cigarette, I. I about died.

[B]

It's kind of sick.

[A]

Yeah, kind of sick. You were like, bro, yeah, what a move.

[B]

Most validating. I. I'll tell you, like, I quit cigarettes after this one kind of legendary story which I wanted to share with you.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[B]

It's the only time I've ever. I love a sick story, ever starstruck in my life.

[A]

Oh, is it? Okay, I'm ready.

[B]

Okay. So I'm at Chateau Marmont, and Barbara and I are there with some friends and we're like, eating dinner. And behind me I hear a voice which I just know is David Lynch. And I'm a massive David Lynch.

[A]

Huge director.

[B]

Huge director.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rest in peace, he passed away. Massive David lynch fan. And I hear his, like, typical nasally voice, like he's talking with someone. And I. And I. And I literally, like, froze. I was like, babe, I don't know why, but, like, I'm freaking out right now. And I. I think David lynch is behind me. And immediately Barb was like, yeah. And I was like, I don't know what to do. She's like, why don't you just go up and like, say hi? And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I want to see him, like the great white buffalo, like, out in. Out in the wild. I don't want to interrupt him. If anything, it was kind of camera duels esque, but I wasn't going to ask for a picture. I was like, no, I just like,

[A]

you were thinking of filming him.

[B]

I was just like, I love this guy, but I'm freaking out. And I turn around and sure enough, it's. It's David lynch. And he's sitting across from Laura Dern. And I was smoking cigarettes at the time and I was like, fuck, I need to go get a cigarette. And she's like, I think you should just go up and say hi to him. And I was like, no, I really don't want to. I'm just gonna go have a cigarette. So I'm out there and I go to light up my cigarette. And like a minute later, David lynch walks into the smoking section and he goes, there's a smoking section at Chateau? Yeah.

[A]

Really inside?

[B]

No, it's in the bar portion that's outside.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

But David walks in and he goes, excuse me, young man, do you happen to have a cigarette? And I was like, yes. Gave him the cigarette. He's like, do you happen to have a light? I went, any. Anything, you know, I gave him one. He goes, thank you very much. He walks over into the corner of the smoking section, and he sits down, and he's smoking it. And then about like a beat later, Laura Dern walks in and sits down across from him, and she goes, do you mind if I. And he goes, sure. He pulls out of his pocket fresh pack of cigarettes, hands her one. She's like, can you light it for me? And he goes, yep. And he lights for a cigarette for her. I was like, what? And so they finish smoking, and I'm thinking about it the whole time, and then, you know, they get up, and David walks out, and he goes, I just want to tell you, you're very polite. Thank you. And he walked out.

[A]

That made you want to quit smoking?

[B]

It made me want to quit smoking. And I'll tell you why. Because I'll never have a better cigarette than that in my entire life. Because what he did for me.

[A]

Why did he do that?

[B]

He gave me the most elegant understanding of how to approach someone that's fangirling over you. Possible.

[A]

You think so?

[B]

100%.

[A]

You think he noticed?

[B]

I think he's one of the smartest guys, and I think he noticed, and he knew. That's why he had a fresh pack of cigarettes. He had a lighter.

[A]

I can just imagine you. That night.

[B]

I was elated, and he gave me a story that is better than any picture, any autograph, anything. He gave me what I'm telling you now. And to this day, I was like, I mean, I think it's still one of the most eloquent, tasteful ways of. Of doing that for someone that, you know, is a fan of you. And I immediately started smoking the geek bars after that.

[A]

I don't get.

[B]

I was like, fuck it. Okay, it's over.

[A]

Okay, Dylan. I am obsessed with this story, however, and I could totally picture you, like, that night, just, like, not being able to fall asleep. Just think, replaying that in your however again, it would make me be like. Like, cigarettes are so powerful for, like, connection. And I'll just keep on going.

[B]

I don't get the same vibe with the vape. Like, could you imagine if that story was told through the lens of having a geek bar?

[A]

This is sour strawberry.

[B]

Yeah. What you like, you got. You want mango, by the way, I

[A]

get grossed out when people do. You don't mind sharing.

[B]

I mean, I'm an identical twin. I think you got to just share everything for your entire life.

[A]

Life.

[B]

It's pretty hard to be grossed out by anything.

[A]

Wait, so you really quit smoking after that?

[B]

I quit cigarettes after that.

[A]

You quit cigarettes after that because of what you just said?

[B]

Well, you know, and I love, like, my brother to death, and I'm gonna rip on him a little bit, but, like, after not smoking cigarettes the way that I did, I picked it up when I was in China, because I will say, like, cigarettes are dope as hell in China. And they. You can smoke them anywhere. You can smoke them inside while you're eating. You can smoke.

[A]

What's different about that? Them.

[B]

I think they're just, like, sick quality. And the packaging is really nice, too. And they're like.

[A]

There aren't people dying on the packaging, or there are.

[B]

They're not allowed to do the dying thing on the. I don't know if they're not allowed. I think it's just that they just don't have it.

[A]

So. China wasn't that long ago. When was China?

[B]

China was. No, it was long ago now. It was about, like, eight years ago now.

[A]

Yeah, but child actors. I could see you starting to smoke at 14.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

That wasn't the tried.

[B]

I didn't. I just smoked foods like you in the b.

[A]

Ball.

[B]

Court.

[A]

Court. Wait, so. Dad, joke. Wait, so, okay, so started CIGS in 2018. Oh, Cole, you were gonna say something about. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Like, after being off the cigarettes for so long, like, smelling. My brother is stinky. Like, he is actually, like, cigarettes make you stink. And, like, it's just. By the way, they're 10 times sexier than this thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

10 times sexy.

[A]

But that doesn't stink.

[B]

But it doesn't stink.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And I also feel like I could, like, if I needed to hit a treadmill, which I really don't ever want to, but if I needed to.

[A]

You would be able to breathe better.

[B]

I feel like I would still be able to breathe better.

[A]

So I don't know.

[B]

I know it's all bad. First off, it's not as good as not doing it right.

[A]

But you just need, like, an oral fixation kind of vibe.

[B]

Well, I don't know exactly what that means. It sounds sexual.

[A]

But, like, to chew something, have something in your mouth. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I guess so. Well, but I call it a pacifier, because it is kind of like a pass.

[A]

But think about it. Like, would you like. Because people that get addicted to nicotine then would just, like, take the gum, but, like, the gum.

[B]

I've tried the gum, and I've tried, like, a patch once, because my Buddy was like, check this out. Yeah, that shit's like rocket fuel.

[A]

It feels weird. I was. I was anxious people.

[B]

Actually, it's ten times gnarlier.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Because it's also designed for people who are, like, so addictive. Packs a day. I'm just puffing this every once in a while, Right. Which I do have to kick the habit, obviously, before the baby comes, so.

[A]

Oh, you're gonna.

[B]

I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try. You know what I want to try. I had a buddy who did the hypnotism thing and it worked.

[A]

Oh, there's a guy in California. Yeah, you know that guy?

[B]

I'm gonna meet up with him, but I'm also.

[A]

No. Do you know the guy?

[B]

No. Will you send it to me?

[A]

Like, all the celebs talk about him. He has, like, a garage in, like, Santa Monica.

[B]

I don't want to go. To get hypnotized in a garage. That sounds scary.

[A]

He's like the celeb guy, really. He gets you to kick everything. Sugar, cigarettes, all of it.

[B]

I don't want to kick sugar. I just want to kick.

[A]

He doesn't like making you request what

[B]

you want to do. That would be like a fucked up thing. Like, you wake up from the hypnotism. You're like, no, I just check marked cigarettes now. I don't fuck with cake anymore. What are you talking about, bro? I can't have a cookie.

[A]

I need to remember his name for you. Okay. Before you go. Even though I'm having so much fun,

[B]

this has been a silly, fun ride, right? Yeah.

[A]

And I. I do want to say this because I talk to a lot of people. Not everyone's so fun. No, not everyone's so conversationalist. You know what I mean? And, like, it's so fun to have someone here that the time flies that, like, has a conversation that has things to say that isn't just answering a question. And you're gonna. I'm finishing up the compliment and. Makes sense. It makes sense you would start a pot because you have lots of things to say.

[B]

I was gonna say you're such a veteran at this that it means a lot that you would say that. And now I'm starting to understand because of that, because we're starting to have guests on and because I understand intimately what you mean by having sex.

[A]

So what kind of guests you wanna have on Wild Men? Is it gonna be celebs or friends or a mix or.

[B]

I think it's, you know, it's been tough because I think Like, I realized recently that the most annoying thing to do is to try and explain the podcast to people because you're like, here's my elevator pitch of me talking to my friend.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You're like, dude, like, what the fuck?

[A]

And you called it Wildman, which does maybe feel like it would be.

[B]

That's our. That was actually our friend group's group chat name.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I think what the real mission statement is to be like, you're invited in to hang out with the chat and just talk the shit as friends, which I think, thankfully, we've been.

[A]

Been.

[B]

We've been doing okay so far. I think I. In. I think in an ideal world, It'd be like 50, 50 split between Brendan and I just chatting. Because all the silly shit that you and I are talking about now, like, that's sort of, like, standard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just running with the stupidest riffs.

[A]

Well, that's what's fun about pods. Like, people just want to listen to people, have, like, intriguing conversation. Not necessarily like, a fucking 60 Minutes. I'm gonna ask you the thing that, like, you were most in the headlines about before we. Before I let you go. We gotta talk about this home invasion.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Which I do love that you have a pod, because I feel like we're getting to know more of your personality and, like, you're talking about all these things that, like, I feel like people would think you wouldn't want to talk about for some reason, but you're like. You're just saying it kind of all there. So if you guys want to get that, check out his pod. Wildman. But for people that haven't listened to you. Clearing up the. The home invasion. Yeah, Rumors. Can you give a brief?

[B]

Yeah. What's the best rundown to give? I was lying on the couch and I heard a guy, like, at the door, which I thought was my dad. And by the way, I was like,

[A]

does your dad just show up?

[B]

I was just like, chill maxing on the couch.

[A]

Like, please don't use maxing.

[B]

Chill maxing. Dude, I was fart maxing on the couch. Bloat maxing. And I was just fucking, like, playing games. I was video game maxing. And now that you said I should.

[A]

No, I'm gonna.

[B]

But do you ironically use it? No.

[A]

Ironically, I'm okay with it.

[B]

I don't. Is there any other way to do it? Yeah, but you.

[A]

I don't think the real influencer way.

[B]

I don't think anybody's really doing it.

[A]

People are max.

[B]

Right?

[A]

People are legit.

[B]

You think yeah. Have you met someone who's. Act like, who's legit maxing?

[A]

Met in real life someone's legit maxing out there? Someone's IRL Maxing for. Yes. People are not using it ironically.

[B]

I thought it was, like, silly.

[A]

No, but I love that I allow it.

[B]

Silliness, I mean.

[A]

Okay, so you're maxing out.

[B]

Yeah. I'm on the couch, and I'm lying down, and I'm playing video games, which is crazy, because, like, if you were to look through the window, like, there's definitely a lazy guy on the couch playing video games. So he just, like, was not aware of his surroundings, I think. Well, actually. I know. So he goes to open the front door, and I was like, what the fuck? And it's. Because it's midnight, and I'm like, who's there? And he goes, it's me. Just like. Just like a. It's like a cartoon.

[A]

Wait, can I need. I need a second. Couch is. What Door is here, is door downstairs.

[B]

How do I explain? Okay, I'm on the couch now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Front door is over there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But it's around this little bend.

[A]

Right. Wait, who's there? It's me.

[B]

It's me. Crazy thing to say, bro. Cause there was a second. He almost got me where I was like, no shit, dog.

[A]

Come on in.

[B]

He almost got me. Cause, by the way, that's, like. It's a cool thing to say.

[A]

Oh, it's genius. Wait, who's there? It's me. I'm dying.

[B]

It's me. And I go, I don't know. And it's me. And so I run upstairs, and Barbara had just, like, gotten into bed for the night, and I'm like, there's someone at the door. I grab the 1911 Kimber, and I go clack, clack. Felt tough as hell.

[A]

Wait, that's a gun?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. That you have locked away.

[B]

I don't play when it comes to, like, Barbara's safety. Yeah, that's, like, one thing you can. You know, you can attack me all you fucking want, but Barbara's had so many friends who have subsequently told me stories of them, like, being alone and having a home invasion scenario. The first thing I did was buy a gun when we closed, so. And I know some people are, like, like, not cool with it.

[A]

Actually, though, speaking of your home invasion, I didn't see people. You know, once there's a situation like this, people are. Are. Are not quick to. To.

[B]

I don't think it gets politicized in this case. Because no matter what side of the fence you're on, I think you want to see Barbara protected. That's like. That's what I actually believe the world is like, all right, we can shake hands on this.

[A]

I love that. Wait, okay, so you go upstairs. You realize it's a rando.

[B]

And I. And I go down. And I timed it. I was out the door in 20 seconds. Let's go. I high fived myself there. Cause it is sick as hell.

[A]

No, it was sick. Wait, but tell me the whole thing. You run down with the guy.

[B]

Run down. And at this point in time, I think he had decided he was gonna try and go, but he ended up walking in the wrong direction. Cause I think he was tweaking. I actually know he was, but he was tweaking and he walked towards the garage area of my house. And he kind of came. Got stuck in this area like a. Like a. Like a raccoon. Like, he was like, whoa, what do I do now? And so I'm like, going out the door and I'm peeping because I don't know if he's armed or anything at this time. And I was like, who's there? And I can hear him from the garage go, nobody. Which is like some real Odyssey type shit. Dude, like, no, he's like. He just fucking tried to Odysseus me. I'm gonna.

[A]

I haven't seen it yet, but I'm

[B]

gonna Paul a Femus's ass. Wait if he tries. So he. I was like, hey, come around the corner. I have a gun. Come out from where you are. Keep your hands where I can see them. When he walks around the corner, he's got a cigarette and a longboard, skateboard in his hand. And immediately I was like, okay, not a threat. Well, the dude's just like, this guy's from Santa Monica. Like, he's just. He's just high as fuck.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and that was pretty much. I forget what they call it. I've tried to say it before, but Brendan always corrects me. I think it's optical pat down or like a tactical, you know, assessment with your eyes. You're like, is he a threat? Not a threat.

[A]

So not a threat. So was the gun, like.

[B]

Gun was raised? Because I don't fuck with that. I'm like, you're still on my property.

[A]

Did he clock that?

[B]

He clocked it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He clocked it.

[A]

And was he like, yeah, for sure.

[B]

I was like, hey, carry your things out. Exactly as a walk in front of me. I'M gonna walk you outside of my property. And he did, and he complied. And he was like, really compliant, obviously. He was super mellow. So I felt like, do you wanna

[A]

come in and play video games?

[B]

Yeah, bro. I was like, bro, you're just high. You need a place to chill, bro. But I walked him out. I didn't tackle the guy. And I said this on the podcast.

[A]

Wait, so that. Okay, the tackling was the headline. How did it get to the news people?

[B]

How did it get.

[A]

He leaked it.

[B]

So, yeah. So I go, this is a guy I hired. No. So coolest thing about this scenario is Barbara's up in the crow's nest looking out, Colin, the police, like, all right, he's got him. And I was like, it was such a. I think I joked about this,

[A]

but it's like, that's when the baby was conceived.

[B]

Yeah, it was a major. It's by the way, like a major. Like, guys have a lot of icks, right, too. We just don't talk about him.

[A]

Opposite of an egg.

[B]

I think one big ick for guys is generally if shit's going down and your girl or your partner, whoever you're with is like, like, freaking out about it. That would be something where you're like, fuck, okay, that's. That's a bit of an ick. Yeah. Unless it's really like a tsunami coming or something, then I get it. But like, if it's like a minor thing or if it's something that can get over and you just need like, assistance and you need help really freaking out about. It's an ick for guys. And I think that she did majorly pass the test.

[A]

I feel like it's the Hungarian.

[B]

She's tough as nails. Yeah.

[A]

And. But, like, also, it'd be an ick if you were like a. About it for sure. But it was the opposite of that.

[B]

No, I think it was like if I was. Also, we have like a 30 pound cat. So like, then if the guy did get in the house, he sees two, like, vape smoking husband, wife combo with a 30 pound cat ready to like, shred him to bits. I'm like, that's the scariest house you can get into. I have a full suit of Viking armor by the door.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I love that. So I'm like, ready? I'm like, could you imagine armored up, handgun in one hand, 30 pound cat on my shoulder in full Viking armor. I'm fucking going after him, dude. It's scariest sight.

[A]

You got so many points for this, bro.

[B]

The Scariest thing because someone said this to me. They're like, the scariest thing would be the sound at night when you hear, like, you enter into a home as an invader and you hear like the clack clack of a shotgun, right? Yeah, but that's not actually the scariest thing thing.

[A]

What's the scary.

[B]

The scariest sound would be me turning on my night vision goggles. If you hear that, you're fucked, bro. Door locks automatically.

[A]

Was this like your, like was. Did you feel like an adrenaline rush after I did?

[B]

And look, I'm joking with you a

[A]

lot right now because it was scary.

[B]

It's funny, but I'm joking because it's fun and that's like my way of always doing. But we're safe and that's, I think, what really matters. First off, she's safe even more so than me. I'm happy that my wife, my dog, and my cat are safe. That's what really matters. It is scary. Hearing something like that happen is scary. I was thankful that it happened the way that it did, which was he was not a threat. Apparently he was on drugs, which we later found out. And he said it was PCP to me when I, like, got him to show me what's in his bag or whatever the hell is, because he had like a fanny pack under his shirt, which I thought could contain a weapon.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So I was like, hey, show me what that is. And it just had wires and like a popper thing fell out of his bag and shit. And I was like, all right, so he's definitely mellow. Barbara had called the police. Police arrived. He was on the ground already. My neighbor had come out to assist me at this point as well. And the same time the police arrived, TMZ arrived, which is crazy. I think police scanners, I think they're loaded up all over the city.

[A]

So why did they think you tackled him? Cause he was on the floor.

[B]

I think so. I think so. And they, by the way, they ran with that. And I was like, like not correcting them because that is cool.

[A]

But then you did for them to think.

[B]

But then like, you think logistically and you got like a handgun. What are you. How are you tackling? It's like, stupid. I love it.

[A]

It's still a very good story.

[B]

It's fun. It's a fun story. But I'm just happy that everyone's safe. And that's like, really what matters. And, you know, apparently there's been a lot more break ins in that area of like, where we live, which I won't say, but like there's, there's like a ton of break ins on the rise in California. California's crime scenarios. Yeah, great. Right now.

[A]

So come to New York.

[B]

Yeah, I know it seems great here right now.

[A]

Well, they don't break in and doorman buildings. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Could you imagine? You're like, fuck, I gotta go to the 30th floor.

[A]

You're like a guy get through this doorman.

[B]

You have your cigarette, your longboard. You're like.

[A]

But that is scary. I mean, thank God you were home and like, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, it is. It is scary.

[B]

Yeah. We've definitely amped up the security on our space a little bit.

[A]

Good.

[B]

A little bit too, so. And actually ring camera reached out.

[A]

I was just going to ask, do you have it on video?

[B]

So I do. I do have it on video. The ring cameras that we have were

[A]

not posted at the door.

[B]

I know, it's pretty funny cuz I. I think I probably should. I downloaded it to my phone.

[A]

But you're able to see everything.

[B]

Not everything. There was like one dead spot, but 90 of it. Yeah, it's pretty funny. The guy comes up and he goes, you know, he says, like, it's me. And he turns around, he's like, he tries to like get out. He tries to go to the garage. And then he goes like, nobody. He's got a cigarette. He drops his cigarette.

[A]

Meanwhile, you're like in the CIA. Like,

[B]

you know, it's like meth head. There's a joke between like a lot of guys where guys are just always like, I've been waiting for this my whole.

[A]

Right, right, right. No, I love it. Dylan, thank you for coming. This is so fun. Like I said, everybody go check out Dylan's new podcast, Wild Men.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.