Podcast Summary: Not Skinny But Not Fat

Episode: Haley Lu Richardson is Sad & Horny

Host: Amanda Hirsch (A)
Guest: Haley Lu Richardson (B)
Date: November 18, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of Not Skinny But Not Fat features actress Haley Lu Richardson in a candid, hilarious, and surprisingly poignant conversation with Amanda Hirsch. The main focus is on Haley's new poetry book, Sad & Horny, exploring her journey through breakups, self-discovery, creative expression, and the realities of being a working actress in Hollywood. Haley and Amanda bond over everything from puberty, failed relationships, skin routines, Netflix, reality TV obsessions, and why embracing awkwardness and emotion is a sign of true freedom.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Names, Identities, and Early Roles

• Haley’s Name Origin:
  • Amanda jokes about butchering celebrity names and remarks that Haley Lu Richardson is “unfuckable” in the sense it can’t be screwed up (00:29).
  • Haley recalls a grade-school teacher calling her “Halle” despite the spelling (00:42).
• On Edge of Seventeen Set:
  • Haley shares she was called “Haley Lou, like the Pooh” to differentiate from co-star Hailee Steinfeld (01:39).
  • She reflects on her early 20s and how she “blocks out a lot of professional experiences” to move on (02:14).

2. Puberty, Insecurities, and Period Stories

• Early Puberty:
  • Both got their period at 12, sharing awkward and funny stories about that milestone (03:50).
  • Haley: “I had braces and confidence—even during my unibrow phase. But it was probably the most insecure time of my life.” (03:28)
• Period Sex in Poetry:
  • Amanda mentions a “period sex” poem in the book and jokes about Haley’s dad reading it:
    “Some were hard for a daddy to read.” – Haley (05:31)

3. Book Concept & The Sad Clown Aesthetic

• Clown Vibes and Emotional Themes:
  • Haley’s choice to wear a sad clown hat and platform ballerina shoes represents her book; inspired by the “Pierrot” archetype for yearning, depression, and the poetic mask (07:02).
• On Writing the Poetry Book:
  • Most poems were written before she even thought of publishing. The idea came from a fellow actor (“Awesome”) who encouraged her to compile them (09:08).
  • The book is an act of creative completion for Haley:
    “I’ve literally never done anything like that in my life—seen something through from the soul out into the world.” (10:30)
• Selecting Poems:
  • Amanda chooses a humorous poem to read:
    “Toothbrush, hairbrush, shower head, cucumber… This is just my shopping list. Get your mind out of the gutter.” – Amanda reads Haley’s poem (11:55)
  • Haley: “That’s by far the dumbest one in the book!” (12:14)

4. Turning 30: Lessons, Saturn Return & Self-Awareness

• Feelings on Aging:
  • Haley wasn’t scared to turn 30—her 20s were much scarier:
    “I was really scared throughout my 20s, so I was ready for that decade to be done.” (13:12)
• Astrology and Identity:
  • Amanda is a Gemini; Haley is a Pisces with a Gemini moon, which they joke means “crazy” and “sad and horny” (13:53-14:01).
• Tattoos & Authenticity:
  • Haley shares about her four tattoos—a cat included, joking about being “consistently kooky” and openly non-mysterious:
    “I’m consistently kooky. Maybe not mysterious, but consistent.” (14:43)

5. Embracing Vulnerability & Navigating Expectations

• On Publishing Personal Work:
  • “After publishing this book, I don’t know if there’s any hope of me ever being mysterious again.” (15:13)
• Fear of Being Stereotyped:
  • Haley’s past dating life involved expectations to always be “cute and happy and fun—like a distraction for someone’s tortured soul.” (16:06)
  • Now, she wants to show a more “well-rounded actual representation.”

6. Processing Heartbreak, Therapy, and Emotional Growth

• Inside Out & Emotional Embracement:
  • The Pixar film “Inside Out” was a turning point for Haley in embracing sadness as well as joy:
    “…the sadness is actually important, and makes the happiness more genuine.” (17:39)
  • Therapist uses Sadness and Joy plushies in sessions (18:16).
• Heartbreak & The Big Breakup:
  • Haley recounts her eight-year relationship, her engagement at 22, and the two-year delay before making the breakup public (25:16-26:45).
  • Despite pain, Haley expresses gratitude:
    “I’m kind of in awe of the fact that I have so much love to give, even for the person that wasn’t right.” (28:06)
  • She avoids bitterness:
    “I try to hate men. I try to be like that [Julia Fox], but I can’t.” (28:59)

7. Romantic Patterns, Dating Types, & Self-Reflection

• Evolving ‘Type’:
  • Used to date “lanky, tortured artist” types (“like Pete Davidson,” jokes Amanda), but now is drawn more to “rugged, mustached guys that build things” (32:05).
  • Now, she’s aware of past patterns:
    “I’ve really looked at why I have continuously had this pattern of the emotionally unavailable person.” (35:39)
• On Dating Apps
  • Haley prefers Hinge for its “Normie vibes,” avoiding Raya:
    “Raya… it’s douchey.” (36:56)
  • Keeps her profile balanced—no crying pics first, “save that for the second date.” (36:42)

8. Surviving Hollywood, White Lotus, and Staying Grounded

• White Lotus Fame:
  • The rise felt steady, not overnight:
    “Every couple years there’s something new, so White Lotus was like two steps up, not overnight.” (38:54)
  • On working with Jennifer Coolidge:
    “She’s a genius, but she’s also nuts… so unexpected and present.” (41:08)
• Cast “Lore” and Set Gossip:
  • The off-camera experience was as “chaotic and entertaining and salacious as the show.” (50:03)
  • References to cast “horniness,” wild times, and being “always part of the horniness.” (52:14)

9. Public Perception, Fan Critique, and Cringe Freedom

• On Portia Criticism:
  • Went through many emotions as people judged her White Lotus character, Portia—ended up seeing misogyny in calling her a “villain.” (53:38)
  • “Go to therapy!” was her public response to Portia haters (53:46)
• Aubrey Plaza “Stalking” Story:
  • Haley “stalked” Aubrey at events, even befriended her cousins to get to her birthday party;
    “I got a text from her with just a knife and a drop of blood.” (56:06)

10. Childhood Fangirl, Jonas Brothers, Celebrity Interactions

• Meeting Miley, Jonas Brothers:
  • Meeting Miley made her emotional—Miley’s album soundtrack to her breakup (60:00).
  • Manifested starring in a Jonas Brothers video; has Nick Jonas’s guitar pick (61:35).
• Fan Girl vs. Celebrity:
  • Despite being a star, Haley is awed by fellow celebrities, and “will always be a Nick [Jonas] girl.” (61:49)

11. Reality TV, Craft Drops, and Creative Outlets

• Reality TV Addict:
  • Into “dating shows specifically”—Bachelorette, Love Island, Married At First Sight (63:43-65:00).
  • Approached (but didn’t go) on Love Island; would rather host than compete (65:47).
• Crochet & Jewelry:
  • Runs an Etsy page for her crochet projects, calling herself a “crochet mogul.”
    “It’s wonderful and fulfilling and grounding… no pressure, just tactile creation.” (66:41)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On poetry & vulnerability:
  “To be cringe is to be free.” – Haley (58:33)
• About heartbreak and growth:
  “I would not want to be anywhere else and anyone else than where and who I am right now… wow, I made it through that. I like myself more somehow. I’m smarter and wiser.” (29:59-30:43)
• Haley reading her poem’s punchline:
  “This is just my shopping list. Get your mind out of the gutter.” (12:14)
• On publishing personal work:
  “I don’t know if there’s any hope for me to ever be mysterious again.” (15:13)
• White Lotus set gossip:
  “The experience of being there for five months was almost, if not as wild, as the show.” (50:03)
• On being unafraid to be herself:
  “I’m consistently kooky. Maybe not mysterious, but consistent.” (14:43)
• On Jennifer Coolidge:
  “She’s a genius, but she’s also nuts… Jennifer Coolidge is an icon.” (41:08)
• Aubrey Plaza’s reaction:
  “I got a text from her with just a knife and a drop of blood, and I knew it was Aubrey.” (56:06)
• About embracing feeling:
  “The sadness is actually important and makes the happiness more genuine… they don’t exist without each other.” (17:39)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-----------|----------------------------------| | 00:29 | Name talk & Edge of Seventeen | | 03:28 | Puberty, braces, and confidence | | 07:02 | Sad clown theme and Pierrot | | 09:08 | Poetry book’s origins | | 11:55 | Funny “shopping list” poem read | | 13:12 | Turning 30 & lessons | | 17:39 | “Inside Out” & embracing sadness | | 25:16 | 8-year relationship & breakup | | 32:05 | Discussing dating “types” | | 36:56 | Dating apps (Hinge > Raya) | | 38:54 | White Lotus & career progression | | 41:01 | Working with Jennifer Coolidge | | 50:03 | White Lotus cast “lore” | | 53:38 | Portia criticism & misogyny | | 56:06 | Aubrey Plaza “stalking” story | | 60:00 | Meeting Miley & emotional fangirl| | 65:47 | Love Island hosting dreams | | 66:41 | Crochet drops & Etsy |

Tone & Engagement

With an honest, self-deprecating, and playful banter, Amanda and Haley’s conversation brims with wit (“I’m consistently kooky”), vulnerability, and relatability—further cementing why this podcast is such a charming, must-listen hangout for pop-culture lovers and those who appreciate genuine celeb confessions. The episode offers comfort: life’s discomforts—embarrassment, heartbreak, cringe, and even horniness—are to be felt and shared, not hidden away.

For more, check out Haley Lu Richardson’s poetry book, Sad & Horny, and her crochet on Etsy!