Podcast Summary: Not Skinny But Not Fat – "Jen Affleck: Mormon Wives, DWTS, & Meeting Ben Affleck"
Host: Amanda Hirsch
Guest: Jennifer Affleck
Date: September 16, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Amanda Hirsch in conversation with Jennifer Affleck, star of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and upcoming contestant on Dancing with the Stars. The episode explores Jen’s journey through mental health struggles, motherhood, reality TV drama, her controversial supposed Affleck family ties, and her surprising recent collaboration with Ben Affleck himself. The tone is raw, candid, humorous, and supportive, with Jen sharing insights about overcoming adversity and thriving after tough times.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jen’s Mental Health Journey and Motherhood

• Struggles Filmed on Reality TV: Jen reflects on her visible struggles during season two of her show, describing it as one of the lowest points of her life. Despite being naturally optimistic, the compounded stress from pregnancy, marital issues, and isolation left her deeply depressed.
  • "I'm naturally a very happy person... so if I'm sad, it's because I'm really sad." (07:25)
• Depression and Asking for Help: She details experiencing both prenatal and postpartum depression, and emphasizes the importance of prioritizing her own mental health for the first time, asking for therapy even amidst cultural and familial pressures to be the caretaker.
  • "This is the first time where I was like, no, I need help and it's okay." (09:12)
• Motherhood Perspective: Jen, 26, is mom to three, with her youngest just two months old. She shares that young motherhood wasn’t planned, but she’s embraced it.
  • Tips for thriving: “You can't pour from an empty cup...I've realized...when you're taking care of yourself—when you have your own outlet—for me right now, it’s Dancing with the Stars.” (14:47)

2. Dancing with the Stars & Career Goals

• Manifesting the DWTS Spot: Jen reveals her longtime obsession with Dancing with the Stars and how she deliberately set out to be cast after her first season on reality TV.
  • "I grew up watching DWTS...when I entered the reality TV world I was like, I've gotta do it!" (15:41)
• Balancing Family and Ambition: With three young kids and a supportive husband, she’s bringing her "village" with her to LA for rehearsals.
• Rivalry with Castmate Whitney: While rumors swirl about on-show competition, Jen says, "If anything, I think it's going to make the season even more legendary. It’s nice having someone who gets it." (16:55)
• Rehearsal Intensity: Prep for DWTS is grueling (5-8 hours/day), but Jen is motivated and wants to enjoy the challenge—and the physical transformation!
  • "Ballroom is actually a sport...my body actually hurts, but I'm having so much fun." (48:24)

3. Reality TV and Relationships

• The Mormon Wives Experience: Jen shares how her family’s dynamic (her mother took in foster children; she grew up with over 20 foster siblings) influenced her resilience and perspective—often not feeling "entitled" to complain or seek help.
• Friendship Evolution: Her close bond (and drama) with Whitney is teased as a major element of season three.
• Returning for Season Three: Despite speculation, Jen affirms she’s returning—and promises her “thriving” side will be showcased more than previous seasons (18:51).

4. The Ben Affleck Family Connection Saga

• The Viral “Affleck” Tale: Jen addresses accusations of being a "pathological liar" after claiming her husband’s family was related to Ben Affleck—a family myth that turned out to be unfounded.
• Meeting Ben Affleck: The story takes a wild turn: Jen recently filmed a Dunkin Donuts commercial with Ben Affleck, meeting him and his family. Both had a good laugh about the ancestry rumors.
  • "It was very lighthearted, we just laughed about it...His daughter came...she was like, we are family. I don't care if we're not related." (28:13)
  • "If that's the worst people are saying about you, calculated, like, you'll take it?" – Amanda (29:36)
  • "I'll take it...I met Ben Affleck, you guys. We're family." – Jen (29:42)
• Lesson Learned: Jen notes that the seemingly "dumb" controversy led to a huge, funny, and positive opportunity—demonstrating the unpredictability of reality TV fame.

5. Marriage, Therapy, and Transformation

• Marriage in the Spotlight: Jen publicly navigated marital challenges, including support and judgment from others.
• Ketamine Therapy: She and her husband Zach underwent ketamine therapy, which she credits with opening new perspectives and facilitating deeper healing.
  • "It's changed my life...made me look at the bigger picture and reset a lot of things for me to start therapy in the most productive way.” (32:03)
• Pressure of the Mormon Community: Jen outlines differences entering Zach’s affluent, high-achieving family and their initial lack of acceptance—contrasted with her upbringing. She now sees their differences as opportunities for mutual growth.

6. Unmedicated Birth Experience and Postpartum Life

• Natural Labor: Jen describes her decision to deliver her third baby unmedicated as a way to reclaim the difficult pregnancy as a spiritual, empowering experience—and to recover faster for DWTS.
  • "Every time I'm in pain [at dance rehearsal], I'm like, I've done natural birth, I can do anything." (47:04)
• Life Philosophy: Embraces transparency and personal growth—even amidst public scrutiny.

7. Reality TV Drama & Accountability

• Drama with Castmate Demi: Jen discusses season two’s "cease and desist" threat drama, explaining she was targeted for being willing to speak up.
  • “I realized I don’t have to do anything—the truth will always come out.” (50:59)
• Judgment from Mormon Community: Acknowledges that her openness on reality TV is often criticized by the Mormon community, but she prioritizes authenticity and self-improvement.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On rebounding from adversity:
  "You can be at a sort of rock bottom situation, and then you could—" (06:52, Amanda)

• On being called a liar:
  "Watching back season one and season two...I know a lot of people were saying 'she's a pathological liar'...because of the Affleck thing." (25:50, Jen)

• On mental health and asking for help:
  "It was the first time in my whole life that I actually, honestly put myself first and, like, asked for help..." (09:12, Jen)

• On embracing reality TV:
  "I'd rather do the hard thing if it means becoming a better version of myself than hiding, which I do think a lot of Mormons do." (52:08, Jen)

• On meeting Ben Affleck:
  "It's so funny because so many people are like, she's so calculated. I'm like, no, it's me not being calculated that gets me in trouble...and what leads to crazy stuff like this!" (29:26, Jen)

• On the empowerment of unmedicated birth:
  "Like, it's definitely empowering...Every day I wake up, I'm like, she's a badass." (47:32, Jen)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 07:08–11:06 – Jen’s struggle with depression, asking for help
• 13:05–14:47 – Early motherhood and tips for thriving postpartum
• 15:14–16:39 – Manifesting Dancing with the Stars, career moves
• 25:38–29:49 – The Ben Affleck family connection saga
• 31:18–33:29 – Ketamine therapy, marriage work
• 43:01–44:47 – Navigating in-law acceptance and class differences
• 45:01–48:02 – Unmedicated birth experience, recovery
• 50:10–51:56 – Cease and desist drama, reality TV controversy
• 52:26–52:41 – Handling judgment from the Mormon community

Conclusion

The episode is an open, funny, and inspiring look at real growth under the glare of public attention. Jen embodies resilience, transparency, and the often surprising blessings that emerge from even the messiest reality TV moments—a message surely resonant for fans and newcomers alike.