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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
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Welcome back to the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Hey, hey, hey. Happy Tuesday, everybody. How are you doing? I'm. I'm not great. I'm not. Not great. I'm. I'm getting over my horrible night, which it upsets me on a. On a. On a deep level, the night that I had. Because, listen, I really try, okay? I really try to eat healthy most of the time, okay? And then it's like, okay, I was having a little craving. I had some healthier ice cream in my freezer, and I went down. I went down a pint and enjoyed every bit. And I was like, yeah, that's what happens sometimes. Like, sometimes you have a craving. You give into it and do it. But that was like 10pm Right? So then I didn't go to bed maybe. Yeah. Got into the bed situation. 11. Couldn't fall asleep. Couldn't fall asleep. Probably. I didn't want to look at my phone probably till like 1:00am I think, like, my body was, like, digesting that sugar or whatever. And then I finally fell asleep. Woke up maybe 30 minutes after falling asleep, heart pounding on my chest, sweating through my pajamas, and stomach just knots. Like, not, not, not well. The gut wasn't well. Like, felt like I had to poop. So I was like. And by the way, like, I think I'm swinging about this before, but things like that, that are, like, physical kind of different feelings, like, gives me anxiety. So then I get, like, anxiety, and on top of what I'm already physically dealing with, so then the heart is, like, beating even faster, and I'm kind of like, you know, like, because you wake up in a panic, I feel like when you wake up sweating and all those things, and I. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do a. An easy one plus one here and say, like, it's because of the fucking ice cream that I ate, that my body was processing that. I don't know. I don't. I'm not a scientist, but, like, sugar up, you know, dairy, all that, and it just sucks. I'm like, okay, can I not. Like, I probably can, you know, on a don't take it too far level, I think a pint was too far from my body. It's so funny that those are my like, wake up bad. Like, it's not like a hangover. I really realized yesterday I went to do my annual, and she was, like, drinking, and I was like, no. Like, I used to be, like, one to two a week. Like, I was still on the low end of drinking, but now, like, drinking. Like, I don't drink. It's not, like, a choice, but it's literally like, unless I'm at an event and I'll, like, take a glass of champagne or go to dinner with friends, you know, or then, yeah, I'll get, like, a glass of wine or. But. But it's so not. Well, it's definitely not a daily thing. And it's barely a weekly thing. It's maybe like once a month kind of thing. So it should be really skinny is what you're saying. I'm like, some people are drinking every day and they're like, they look hotter than me. Like, I just don't get it. Also, I went to sleep yesterday after with the. The ice cream regrets, which I feel like you guys are gonna think I have an eating disorder now. But I had just talked in the DMs with somebody. Somebody I follow posted that she's, like, trying peptides. And I literally had to ask you, Chad, gbt, what are peptides? I know, that's how behind I am. And then it said, like, there's so, like, there's so many. So now, like, the weight loss ones go into the peptide category, but also there's, like, peptides that are for aging and. And stuff like that. So I was like, should I be doing the peptides? Like, not the weight loss ones, but the other ones. But then I was like, wait, should I. If this girl who's three pounds. That girl's three pounds, told me she's on Z Bound, okay? For, like, the peptide world. She, she. I. I don't think she thinks she needs to lose weight. That would be crazy. But as part of, like, the peptide regimen of all the other peptide stuff, and I'm like, am I the only person on fucking planet Earth? Like, and I do think, you know, for me, it was like a. When those epic stuff first started rolling around, I think I was a little, like, judgmental about people taking it that didn't need it. And then I kind of was like, everybody do what they want. Like, my opinion did shift, you know, about it. And it's become so normalized. So obviously, like, my opinion changed. And, like, everyone I know is on it as well. So no judgment on my part. And also, even in My mind a daily question of, like, why? Why not me? Why not me? Why not me? Why am I the only person not on it? And I don't mean the only person doing it the right way because, like, I'm doing my best. I'm, like, eating well, and I'm, like, trying to work out. But your girl doesn't get down from a certain weight. Like, I feel like it's made for people like me, you know, like, for like, a Mindy Kaling, an Oprah Winfrey. I'm not putting myself in the same category, the same weight. I'm just saying people that their whole lives, like, couldn't get past a certain weight no matter what they did kind of vibes, which, like, Mindy Kaling, like, her saying it was from hiking was, like, annoying. But, like, I totally understand why she would want to take it and why she, like, you know, it was a good candidate for it. You know, I do think it was a while to come out with the swimsuit campaign right after and. And the article said, you know, I started hiking. That is wild, though. You don't know us anything, but don't fucking, like, taunt us like that. You know what I mean? So I'm just saying, like, if I ever tried it, I would tell you, don't you worry about it. And I would probably be nauseous and wake up sweating with my heart beating out of my chest just like yesterday. That made me realize that, too. Like, that's because the girl that's so skinny that's doing it, she was like, how? Like, not in a mean way, but she was like, you haven't tried? And I was like, no. And I was like, I think it stems more for my anxiety because, like, side effects scare me. Like, I'm scared to take a supplement. Okay, anyway, let's get into our guest today because this was such a freaking exciting guest for me. Like, for. I mean, the. The nostalgia, the. The. The cult. I mean, it's not even culty because it's worldwide sensation of a show in the 90s. Like, obsessed with the 90s. The show curated my. My. My growing up. I was watching it way too early. It is just a cultural. It's a. It's a monument of our culture. It's a. It's a cultural monument. It's a historical. Historical show. Okay, Like, I don't know what other words to use for this show. I'll just go, da na na na, da na na na. Which, by the way, if you go listen to that intro right now and you don't get chills all over your body, then we're not the same. 902-109-02 Beverly Hills 90210 Da na na na na na na Anyway, Kelly Taylor, we all wanted to be her, dress like her, have two guys fight over us like her. And Jenny Garth, who played Kelly Taylor, is here today. I am so excited for you guys to hear this conversation. I listened to her book, I Choose Me, which was so good and so insightful. And she's definitely not Kelly Taylor. She's a very different than Kelly Taylor.
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So.
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So I loved getting to know her because I feel like. And I said this throughout the interview. Drink every time I say it. I watched this show so young, before I was like, obviously reading tabloids because I was probably 11 or 10, so I was aware of the characters. Right. We were all obsessed with Kelly Taylor or Brandon or. Or Brenda or. Or Dylan. But we weren't aware of the actors, like at our age, you know, and obviously later I was. Knew them, but it just made it that much more special to. To get to know her on a deeper level from her book and then in. In this interview. So enjoy. Yay.
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Hi.
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Jenny Garth is here. I've been listening to your voice for the past. Finish it pretty quick. Your book.
A
You listen to the audiobook?
B
I listen to it. I'm an audiobook girly.
A
How did I do?
B
You did so good.
A
You're just saying that.
B
No, no. I swear to God that you did so good that I was thinking, like, I could. Because I assume you recorded on different days. No. And I'm like, how don't. I feel like it's a different day.
A
Oh, good.
B
You know, because I feel like I would come in, like, raspier one day or like, you know, and you had the same tone throughout the whole thing.
A
Well, I. My director, you know, put me through the warmup.
B
What did you do?
A
Like, oh, yeah. Or see, she sells seashells by the seashore.
B
Oh, wow.
A
This is a good one. Red leather. What is it? Red leather. Purple. Oh, yeah. Red leather. Purple leather.
B
Red leather. Purple leather. I would be so fucking bad at audiobook. But I love when. Because I listen to, like, novels and fiction as well, but I love when it's nonfiction and the. The author is narrating it, you know, because it really feels like you're just telling me your story.
A
Right, Right.
B
You know?
A
Yeah.
B
And I loved your book so much.
A
Thank you.
B
So your book, I choose Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose, and Embracing Reinvention. What made this is Your second memoir?
A
It is actually my first. Yes. My first was a quite a while ago now. And it just was, you know, a little lighter, a little bit more palpable. I think this one's deeper and more. You know, I've lived a lot more life since that book.
B
Right. That's what I was thinking when. When reading your book. Because, you know, a lot of people are writing books nowadays, right? Almost everyone. Right. And I was like, here's a person that should be writing a book, you know, that has a story to tell. You know what I mean? That has a lot. And I feel like there's even some more that you could tell, probably. Yeah, right.
A
For sure. There's more that I. There's a lot that I left out.
B
Right.
A
That ended up getting edited out. I feel like I have another book in me for sure.
B
You do? What made you write another one now? Like this timing.
A
Wow, that's a good question. Why not is the answer. Right. Like had the opportunity. And I love when a door opens. I don't ever, you know, not at least peek around the corner and see what's in there.
B
Yeah.
A
So I also kind of came to this place in my life in my 50s. You get a different perspective on things and all the work that I've done, my personal work that I've done, and my journey sort of reached a point where I felt like, oh my gosh, I've learned so much. I want to share this with other people. And my parents are both educators, so I think it's just kind of in my blood to want to help people and. Yeah, like, teach what I've learned. Like, I shouldn't just keep it to myself. It's not really doing anybody else any good. And I do it with my girls. Like, I teach them everything I learn and they teach me everything they learn. So. So it's just I wanted to kind of write this book and tell my story. Well, initially I didn't want to tell my story. Initially I wanted it to just be a self help book because I love self help books. I grew up with self help books. My mom had them when I was just a little girl, all around on every bookshelf. And I just would sit around and read them and I just found them fascinating. I think if I had gone to college, I probably would have studied psychology.
B
Like you would have been a therapist,
A
I think maybe because I really love helping people.
B
No, I could tell that. I know this sounds like cliche, but I could tell that you've like, done the work, you know, like, the work. Like, introspective. Like, how did you get to that place where you're like. Because you did journaling, you went. You went abroad and. And did, like, a meditative stuff, right? Like, what. What are, like, the big. The biggest things that helped you kind of become this version of yourself?
A
I think it was just asking the question, what do I want next? Like, what do I want to focus my precious time on? And what do I not want to focus my time on? And just getting really clear about that first. But honestly, I was just stuck. I was like, I've got to do some work because I want to change. Just not just for myself, but for my girls, but, yeah, also for myself. I want to live. I want to be happy. And there was a certain period of my life where I just couldn't find the happy. And I would look around and I would see all these people living these happy, joyous lives, and I couldn't get out of my own way.
B
You talk about mental health a lot in the book, which I think is. I mean, nowadays people are being more open about it, but, I mean, back in the day, the stigma around it. So since when were you kind of struggling with that kind of thing? What age did that start for you?
A
I was kind of born a blue person, really. I don't know if everybody kind of knows what that means. It's like, I wasn't born with, like, you know, rainbows and unicorns flying out of my house. I was, you know, like, I like to think deeply. I feel things deeply. And so I was always trying to sort of manage that. You know, I just. My nickname when I was a little girl was Puddles, because I cried a lot. Like, I was just very sensitive to things. And as I got older, I really tried to shut that down because it was brought to my attention that being emotional was too much for some people, or it felt like they were trying to tell me that it wasn't a good thing. And I really kind of decided to flip that script because I wanted to be emotional. I don't want to be cut off from my emotions. I don't want to lose my voice. And so now I just say, I am emotionful.
B
I love that in the book. And it's so important, I think, still, because people think about people like you or in the public eye or people that have been on hit TV shows or in movies, we just assume, like, they must be so happy.
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They've got it all together.
B
They've got it all together. They have the money, they have the Fame. They have the cameras, they have the glam.
A
And also, you can't complain when you're in that position or else you look like, wah, wah me, you know, but, hi, we're all humans, like living this human life and it's not easy.
B
And like, everyone has emotions. And even more so when you're maybe, maybe more so when you're in those high intensity situations. Like, I mean, nano to a note, you guys. I listen to the theme song full body chills every time I hear it. Like, you too, by the way, my husband, not that I always like, I don't know why I give him no credit in this world. Like, I am still surprised that he, you know, because he grew up on it too. But when I told him you were coming on, he was so excited. When I was listening to the theme song in the car, he was like, I was like, oh my God. I just got literal chills. He goes, me too. And I think it's everybody.
A
It brings you right back to a very specific day and age. Before social media, before cell phones, before the Internet. Like, you go back to this place of we. It. It's so fondly remembered in our hearts
B
and in our history, truly Kelly Taylor. I remember the. Where I was when Kelly got shot. Like, I remember how that affected me
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in the parking lot.
B
Yes, yes. And like, I remember where I was with my sister. By the way, try to do the math. I was probably like too young, right?
A
You shouldn't have been watching.
B
I was probably because 1990 to 2000, I would assume she got shot, what, in like 1995.
A
The. Maybe 4. 94. Okay, wait, so do you have an older sister?
B
Yes.
A
So that's why you watched it.
B
Right. But traumatizing and all of it. You learned it was probably not age appropriate for, for any of us. No, but we lived it. I mean, it was like the show that you wait for, that you put on the time that it's on. It's just you can't like recreate that kind of thing. You were trying to be an actress since you were a little girl. I know you were in beauty pageants and stuff like that. So how did the acting come up?
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I never wanted to be an actress. I thought I was going to be a dance teacher. I went to a pageant to get a scholarship. Like, if you won the pageant, you got a scholarship. And I really wanted that for my mom and dad so that they, you know, would have help paying for college. But I didn't win. But somebody at the. He was one of the Guest judges. And he and his wife were there, and they came up to me and said, we think you have something. Have you ever thought about acting before? And they gave me a script, and they said, tomorrow, let's meet up for lunch and you can read this scene. And so I took the scene and I did my. You know, I tried to memorize the lines and ended up doing the scene with his wife at a little table. And I just remember they were like, yeah, you.
B
Did your mom come with you?
A
Yeah. Oh, yeah, my mom. Of course. It would have been weird if he wasn't.
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
And thank God his wife was with us, right? Creeper. But so I. He said, you know what? You're still. You're not ready yet. You're green. You need to go get some training. So I went and took some acting classes in Arizona, where I was living at the time. And I would send in, like, my progress on the VHS tapes. We'd send it in, like, the snail mail to him in la.
B
He was a big deal then, the agent guy, he had been the head
A
of casting for ABC in New York City, and he had just moved and started a whole new venture as a personal manager in la. So, yeah, it was cool. Another door that opened, and I just
B
went through it and you went through it. And when you started doing the acting lessons and stuff, did you get in? Did you feel like, wait, I like this. I enjoy this?
A
Not really. Not really, no. No. I did, like, getting lost in, like, the scene, the moment of these characters. I've always said what I love about what I do is when the director calls action, and that's the moment when there's that connection between you and the other character, or the connection with the lens, the camera. There's something so intimate about it. I really love that moment. Cause there's no other noise. There's no. Everybody's quiet, you know, on the set, and it just feels so nice.
B
And everyone playing pretend, too.
A
Mm. And it's not real. Yeah. And you get to step into somebody else's shoes and live somebody else's life, which was so fun for me as a young girl. I didn't know anything about this character of Kelly, this world she came from.
B
So at some point was agent guy. What do you call him in the books?
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Mr. Showbiz.
B
Mr. Showbiz. Was he like, okay, you're ready. Like, you've been progressing well?
A
Yeah. He said, if you. You. I think you're in a good place. If you want to come over, let me know. And we Packed up our bags and knocked on his door, and he was like, oh, shit, she's here. Okay, that. And he started sending me out that.
B
That Pilot season and was 902-101 of the.1 of the shows.
A
No, I first. The first show I did was called A Brand New Life. It was. I was playing Barbara, Eden's daughter, and it was just a really incredible learning experience because that was my first time, like, on a set. And I just watched every move she made, and she taught me how to be a pro, you know, and her work ethic is so incredible that I just took all of that on like a sponge. And I always attribute her to, like, making me such a professional.
B
And did you enjoy that? Like, did that start. Given you like, I did, because I
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like doing things well.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, and I.
B
You're feeling like you were getting better and, like.
A
Yeah. And I felt like people were. Were happy with my performance. They were, you know, saying I was doing a good job. And I think when you're young, you want to hear that from people. You want to hear, like, you're doing great and, you know, exactly what we wanted from the scene. And I think that sort of, like, turned into this, like, need to please.
B
Yeah. You talked about the validation, like, coming from the outside. You made me think a lot with this book. Like, I have some anxiety, too, and it brought up, like, feelings for me. You know what I mean? Like, with just like that kind of stuff with competition that you talked about with aging, with, you know, a lot. So the validation thing as well. I mean, we all live in this now, you know, like, you were talking about it since then, but now it's like, I mean, just go on Instagram and post a pic to get some love, you know, to get some validation check in the, like, so that. That really landed. So 90210 came after this show.
A
Yes.
B
Did you got the script for Kelly Taylor? Did you feel like I'm her?
A
No, I felt like I could pretend to be her.
B
Yeah.
A
And I thought it would be really super cool to be her. And I just did the audition scene. And, yeah, I guess it went well because Erin Spelling hired me.
B
Like, was it like, one audition?
A
Yeah, it was one audition. Really? I read for the casting director right before I went in to read for a room full of suits sometimes.
B
Now I hear that it could be like 11 auditions or something.
A
Oh, yeah, it's nuts.
B
Like, you think today it's more nuts than it was?
A
I mean, I haven't had an audition in a while. I Don't really. Like, I haven't been focusing on acting as much lately, so I think it's just a process. And it's changed so much because, like, you don't go in to meet the casting director.
B
Right. You do like, a zoo.
A
You do, like, put yourself on tape. On tape. It doesn't even. You don't do that. It's like you video. What. What do you call it?
B
Yeah.
A
You record yourself.
B
Yeah.
A
You send it in digitally.
B
Yeah.
A
So you never even meet the people.
B
Yeah.
A
And you are either right for the role or you're not. And then you don't hear yes or no. You just. You only hear something if you get hiding.
B
Yes. Wow. We'll be right back after the break. So somebody actually told me this recently. Former podcast guests reached out to me and said, like, I love the way you're. You do your podcast, but I also even love your podcast ads. And you made me want to buy dog food even though I don't have a dog, because I really do curate who advertises on my pod. And with Ollie, the pet food, like, it came across that way because it's true. Like, I am obsessed with Ali. I really. You know, it's a story that I told you guys a few times here, which is Leo is getting older. My dog Leo that some of you don't know and get to know. You know. Then I'm like, I know you're not. No g. You know, so getting him Ollie. Okay. And giving him meals a day that he's so excited for. That he's getting, like, real chef meals. Okay. Backed by vet nutritionists that are delicious. And he licks the bowl. Okay. It looks like it's clean. Other day, husband was like, did you give him food? I was like, yeah. He like. He's like, the bowl looks like it came out of the dishwasher. So I've been giving him Ollie, and they're just amazing. He never had any issues, and he has a sensitive gut, so I was very surprised. So this is the dog food you want to give your dog if you love your pet. Okay. Also, from the moment you start your subscription, everything is tailored for your puppy. You even get a puptainer and a scoop that I use for easy storing and serving. Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com not scratch skinny. Tell them all about your dog and use code not skinny to get 70% off your welcome kit when you've subscribed today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee if you're not Completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's O l l I e dot com, Not Skinny. And enter code Not Skinny to get 70% off your first box. If you're over the whole traditional banking situation, monthly fees, minimum balances, random charges that make no sense, you should check out Chime. Chime is an award winning financial app that helps you take control of your money without all the extra noise. No monthly fees, no overdraft fees and no minimum balance requirements. You can also get paid up to two days early with direct deposit, which honestly makes life easier. I know people waiting for your paycheck in order to, you know, do fun things, buy a concert ticket or go out with your friends can be frustrating. And Chime is here to make your life easier. Everything is managed right from the app. Whether it's checking your balance, sending money, setting up automatic saving tools that help you put money aside without even thinking about it. It's just simple, it's smart, and it just removes all that unnecessary stress that traditional banks have. You know, that charge you the overdraft and monthly fees. Chime has thousands of fee free ATMs. So like why would I ever want to pay to get my own money? Okay, it's built for you. Chime is built for you, not the 1%. Members can also benefit from up to 1,115 annual rewards fee free. Chime is rated five stars by USA Today for customer service. So think about the switch because you won't just be switching banks, you're upgrading to America's number one choice for banking with a Chime checking account. My younger self would have definitely benefited from this. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com not skinny. That is chime.com not skinny. It only takes a few minutes to sign up. You know when I come home from like a podcast recording or really anything and I'm hungry and I'm starving and I forgot to order food on the way home and what am I going to make myself like a sandwich, ran out of turkey. You know, I'm panicking, I'm hangry and there's nothing for me to eat. And that's why I love having Home Chef in my fridge and in my life because it is actually delicious. They are balanced meals and you know, you save money by not ordering takeout. So this is one of those. If you don't know Home Chef, it's a meal prep company, it Comes straight to your door. And the meals are just on point every time. They're so impressive. They're so easy to make. And you can be on a weekly delivery to stock up your fridge and take care of your meal planning. I mean, save time, reduce dishes and clean up and all that. You'd be shocked if you check like how much you'd spend on Home Chef versus on takeout. Okay. Like you could actually save money and feel like you're cooking for you and your family. Home Chef really makes cooking simple. Fresh food is delivered, easy recipes to follow and meals that actually taste great. It's perfect for people with busy schedules, whether you need a 30 minute meal. They also have oven ready trays, which I love, or even a quick microwave lunch, which I also love. Love and people really love it. Home Chef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste and recipe ease. For limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50 off and free shipping for your first box plus free dessert for life. Go to home chef.com not skinny. That's home chef.com not skinny for 50 off your first box. Going to be shocked at how low that that comes out for you. And free dessert for life. Home chef.com not skinny. Must be an active subscriber to get the free to search. And we're back. You did talk in the book about like rejection in this industry, that you kind of were hoping to have more like respect from your peers or maybe more. You were saying like you were hoping maybe you wouldn't have to audition like after 90210.
A
Right. I mean, coming off that show, that high, you know.
B
Yeah.
A
And having gone through the gamut of moments, like emotional, you know, I showed my dramatic chops for sure.
B
Right.
A
Yeah. I kind of thought like, I didn't really plan ahead. Like, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was just open. And I had a baby at the end of that show in the 10th season. And so my priorities just shifted radically and I didn't really even care what came next.
B
You didn't?
A
No. I just knew that it felt weird to be like out in the wild with no PA leading me around, like, and telling me it's time to eat or, you know, turn right and here's what you say, here's what you wear. This is when you go to the bathroom. This is when you go get your hair done.
B
Like 10 years of this show. Wait, so you. Because I guess I watched it fairly young. I wasn't aware of like, you Guys in real life, you know, I was aware of the characters. So you writing in this book that you were pregnant during the show? I was like, what? Like, I. I didn't know that then. So you were pre filming pregnant?
A
Yeah. No, actually, I think it was season eight. I do a rewatch podcast and we just rewatched it and I. I was hiding the baby in season eight. Yeah, we called it Bob.
B
You called what Bob?
A
The baby bump. We were like, somebody hide Bob. Really? I can see Bob.
B
Stop. Did everyone know in the cast, like, how. How early did you share it with everybody?
A
I mean, I. I showed early and.
B
Oh, you did.
A
I. I was large.
B
Really?
A
Yeah. I wasn't like, oh, cute little pregnant girl also.
B
Okay.
A
I am sure you swallowed a basketball.
B
No, usually with your first. Right? It's usually with your first. You. You show later.
A
Yeah, no, I showed.
B
You showed. It was your young 24. You got pregnant. Which I'm. I'm on one hand. I'm sure it was hard being so young and pregnant, but now it's so nice that your girls are already, like, older. One is here, right. They're in college and.
A
Yeah.
B
So that's so fun that you had babies young.
A
I know. We. I feel like we really did grow up together.
B
Yeah.
A
In the. In the best way. And they have. They. I've said before, they're. They're my greatest teachers. Like, I go to them for advice, they come to me for advice. We love spending time together. And I'm just like, if I die tomorrow, my.
B
I thank you for the knock, knock on what?
A
I will feel like I've done something good. You know, I will feel fulfilled.
B
That's so beautiful. We're three girls too. My mom's a single mom, so I love hearing about, you know, mom's bonds with her, with their daughters. I have boys. Womp, womp.
A
Where's your one day?
B
Someday, Someday, maybe boys could be cute too. It's not the same. It's different because they're. It feels like. And in this book, you tell a lot of stories about how your daughters were really there for you and in moments that you needed them like a friend, they had to step in. They had to.
A
Yeah. And I talk about, like, I don't even know if that was a good thing. I was probably not being. That's probably not in the parenting books of how to be a good mom, but it was the way I was a mom, and it's the only way I knew how to do it. I am not a person that can hide her emotions, like I said.
B
And I loved how you said, because I saw that quote somewhere. Like, I think there's an Instagram reel that is a tear jerker. That's like, remember that your mom is here for the first time, too.
A
Right.
B
And you said that, too, in the book, something similar. Right. Like, yeah, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm doing it this for the first time, too. Like, I don't have a prior life experience.
A
We only have, like, what we see our mom.
B
Right.
A
What we saw our mom, how she raised us, or our siblings. And so we usually will go into parenting, like, saying, I'm going to do everything that my mom didn't do or everything that my mom did wrong, I'm going to do right with my kids. But there's no. You can't. There's no map. There's no directions for it. And, yeah, you're just flying by the seat of your pants and hoping that you're not messing your kids up too much.
B
You mentioned the book that you weren't in the party club, going out.
A
No.
B
Even before you got pregnant, that wasn't your vibe.
A
Yeah, I went to the Viper Room a few times, but I.
B
That was Johnny Depp's place. No.
A
Yeah, it's still there. It's crazy. Yeah, I hear I was more of a homebody. I've always been more of a homebody. I feel more comfortable in my house, with my dogs, with my people than I do going out. And I think that that's probably just who I am in general, just being from the Midwest. And also, it was a sort of a safety, like, how I saved myself from scary things that were happening to me at that time.
B
Did you ever have fomo?
A
I did have fomo. Sometimes, like, the cast would go out and they would come back and talk about, like, what, you know, or I'd see their pictures in the tabloids. And, you know, part of me was like, hmm, I wonder, like, is something wrong with me that I don't want to do that.
B
Did they ever try to convince you?
A
No, it was just pretty well established that I didn't need to join in. In that.
B
Really. What a strong personality.
A
I just knew I was too sensitive for all of that.
B
Wow.
A
I did. I dipped my toe. But I always just retreated home afterwards
B
because usually I feel like that kind of, like, wisdom comes later in life when you're like, whoa, whoa. I know what I like. I know what I don't like. Like, why am I doing that? I. You know, why am I Being dragged to do things that I don't actually want to do. But usually when you're young, you do the. The. The. The dumb you don't want to do and you regret later.
A
I did some dumb. But.
B
So you had a. But you had, like, a strong moral compass.
A
Yeah, I think it's just the way I was raised.
B
And when 90210 ended, like, after 10 years, was there sadness around it? Were you ready to go? Cause you had a baby and everything.
A
Yeah. It wasn't as sad because I did have this personal life that I loved so much to go home to, but it was weird, and it was like, well, am I ever going to work again? Or do. Does. Is this how it is? Like, as an actress? Because I got so lucky, and then that was 10 years, and then all of a sudden, like, I thought, oh, well, how do I get another job? Or does that just come to you?
B
Yeah. Like, is that. What's the next. What's next?
A
What do I do?
B
Yeah. So what was that in between time? Like, trying to figure it out.
A
Uh, I didn't really focus on it a lot because of Luca, my first baby. Um, but then it started to, like, settle in. Like, I wasn't getting, you know, auditions and stuff like that, so I started kind of, like, seeking it, and then I knew I wanted to try something different, so I auditioned. Well, it wasn't really an audition. They brought me in to do, like, a chemistry meeting with Amanda Bynes.
B
Oh, right.
A
And I got to do the show. What I like about you is so fun.
B
I know. And you were so perfect in that you played her sister.
A
I did. I played her uptight sister. Yeah.
B
Have you spoken to her since?
A
No, I haven't in a long time.
B
Since then.
A
Mm.
B
Yeah, because things have kind of changed with her.
A
Yeah, they have. And I. I would love nothing more than to reconnect with her.
B
Yeah, that could be nice. Cause you were talking about in the book how you. I mean, you were saying just now you wanted to be a therapist. Like, and you want to, like, help people. You want to, you know, share the wisdom. So I could see that connection happening.
A
I would love it.
B
Do you think that people today can understand, like, the level of fame that you guys had at the time? Because, like, now we have a million TV shows, a million movies. You know what I mean? Like, then, like, that was the thing. It was. It was now 2, 1, 0 or bust. How do you feel like it compares?
A
I feel like there's. Yeah, like you said, there's so many Options out there.
B
Right.
A
There's so many famous people now, Internet famous people. I can't keep up with them. I don't know who most of them are. But then it was like, you know, this is what you get. These are the shows you get to watch, and these are the people on them. And that show really just resonated so deeply with, like, the youth of the world that wherever we went, it was nuts.
B
It was nuts. How did you handle that? Like, did you like that because you said, because I get on one hand, you're like, quieter introvert, a little bit homebody, but at the same time you like the validation. So how was that? Like you enjoyed the. The fan screaming. Did it scare you that you couldn't go anywhere?
A
Yeah, it's. I'm much more of an introvert than people realize, and it did scare me. So I actually didn't. I. I started to develop a little agoraphobia where I wouldn't leave the house, I wouldn't go to the store. I still don't go to the grocery store. Like, I don't know, I just. I get a little nervous out in
B
the real world that people will, like. You get uncomfortable if people approach or.
A
It's not even that I think people are going to freak out or anything. It's just something inside of me that needs, like, to be safe and secure in an environment that's controlled, you know?
B
Yeah. Who was the most well equipped to deal with that from the cast with the fame and the fans?
A
Gosh. I think. I don't know, like, I don't know their personal journey with that. I think that it was hard, definitely, for the boys, Luke and Jason, Hard for them because they were. They couldn't go anywhere.
B
Yeah. And what about Steve, leaving Steve out, who aged so beautifully. Let's give Steve some love. Yeah.
A
Yeah, he did. He's a. He's a stud.
B
I just looked his age up because I saw a pic of him because I was, you know, looking through all the nanoju and all this stuff and I'm like, how old is Ayan? Like 62.
A
Damn, he looks great. And his spirit is the same as it was back in the day.
B
He looks so. He wrote you a beautiful birthday post. I saw in Feed and everything.
A
Oh, and in Feed. Wow. I made it.
B
It was in Feedback. So you were saying it's like, I'm like Dylan and Luke and Brandon Lucan. Jason. Oh, my God, look, I'm in the characters. No, no.
A
I've been called Kelly, like, three times today. It's Fine.
B
On live tv.
A
Not on live tv, like, by the producer.
B
No, stop.
A
The segment producer.
B
But you said in the book it doesn't bother you. A lot of people have some sort of weird relationship with the role that they're most known for. So what's your relationship with that?
A
I love Kelly.
B
Yeah.
A
I love what that show did for so many young people. I'm proud of it.
B
Yeah. You have no, like, mixed feelings about it? Yeah. I mean, what is there not to be proud of? We'll be right back after the break. Quick message from today's sponsor, the ASPCA Pet Health Insurance. If you've never owned a pet, you need to know something about them. They run in their own logic, okay? They jump first, they think later, and, you know, that's what makes them so lovable. But that's how you also end up with surprise vet visits you didn't see coming. That's where ASPCA pet health insurance comes in. Okay. And it helps cover eligible vet expenses. So when those moments happen, you can focus on getting your pet the care they need without, like, freaking out over the cost or second guessing your decision to even take them to get care. When you enroll in an ASPCA pet health insurance plan, you could get a 25Amazon gift card. So a little treat for you for. For doing the right thing. Okay? The program also offers customizable accident and illness plans. Okay. 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Trustworthy there for you. So my favorite are the Bianca slings, the Presley strappy kitten heel sandal, the Hazel pump, and the Alina sandal. And I got a code for you. So if you go to samadleman.com to explore everything you need for spring, you can get 15% off with my code. Notskinny. 15. And we're back. Speaking of Luke, you. You dropped a bombshell in the book about him being your first love, which was beautiful to read and beautiful that you shared. What really like made my heart gretch is what you shared that also, people didn't know that when he, he suffered the stroke, you. You went to the hospital, you were waiting in the hospital for him, not even knowing which hospital he's at. You took your daughter.
A
Mm, yeah, I, I got that call on the way to drop my daughter off at school and I just went where I felt like he was like, based on where he lived. And I just was drawn to a certain hospital and it was actually the hospital that he was in, but I couldn't get up to see him. They weren't allowing anybody up that wasn't Family. So I just sat in the lobby for a couple hours that day until his manager at the time came and said, you know, go home. I'll keep you posted. So I did. I went home.
B
It was something in you that was pulling you to go. Were you that close at that time that you would be a friend that went, or was it something bigger?
A
Yes, we were very good friends. And I think if any one of my cast members was in a situation like that, I would want to be with them. Wow. Like, I love them. And I know that I got sick once on the. During. Well, a couple times. One time when Luke ran me over with a jet Ski and knocked me unconscious. And I remember he went with me in the ambulance. They made me go and get all my whatevers checked. And, you know, I remember him being there. And then once in. I got some sort of, like, kidney infection or something. I was really sick, and I ended up in the hospital during filming of the show. And he was there by my bed. And I. You know, I won't ever forget that.
B
What do you wish you had, if you had the time to say something to him that day that you came to the hospital and you. Because you thought, probably, he's gonna get better. I'm gonna see him. Like, you just wanted to be there for him and. And hold his hand.
A
Yeah. Just wanted to be close.
B
The way you talk about that grief in the book was, like, really, really touching. And you even said, like, it's not something that you even want to open up in a way. Were you debating whether to include that in the book?
A
Yeah, there were some things around Luke that I chose not to share. And also sharing what I do share, it feels. Because when he passed away, I didn't want to talk about it or go to the service or anything. And everybody wanted to know. And I remember, like, I didn't post a picture or tribute to him on social media, and I got, like, a lot of backlash, and I just wasn't. I didn't want to. Like, my relationship with Luke was sacred to me, and I. I don't know, I just couldn't. I still have, like, very hard time believing that it's real. Like, I don't want to accept it.
B
The posting on Instagram is so. Sounds silly, but it's such a prevalent thing because people, when something happens, anticipate certain people to respond.
A
Right.
B
And if you don't, you're just so. I'm, like, proud of you that you stuck to, like, your feeling, you know,
A
Like, I mean, you can't win. I mean, I didn't post for Luke's death and I got, you know, annihilated. And then I did post for Shannon's death and I got annihilated. So what. What are you going to do?
B
But it was just a feeling, like for Luke, it was hard for you to do that. And for Shannon, what was, what was that? Like?
A
I really felt like she deserved to be honored by, by me as a woman. Like, I had so much respect for her that I. I wanted the world to know, like, what she had meant to me. Even though everybody had their, you know, what they thought was the real story.
B
Well, again, it's weird because watching it as a 10 year old or wherever, like, again, I wasn't aware of the. What was happening in real life. But reading your book and learning that there was kind of a parallel real life nano2 10 situation where you guys had some issues on set was, like, shocking to me.
A
Yeah, I mean, like, they, the writing pitted us apart. Like they made a love triangle. Like we were best friends on the show. Then Kelly broke the best friend code while Brenda was away, and that was the moment when the world just decided you were either team Kelly or you were team Brenda.
B
So did people hate Kelly in real life because of it?
A
There are still to this day people that do not like me because I was Kelly, because you, because I.
B
Because I don't know. My listeners know. I don't know if, you know, I don't know if your daughters watch Summer House, but there's a reality TV show where that's happening right now. Like a best friend hooked up with an. You know, and
A
I mean, nowadays, I cannot imagine.
B
No, no, no.
A
They're being like, like death threats.
B
That's what I'm saying. Like. Yeah, I'd be scared to go outside if I, if I were them. So that's why I was just thinking, like, if. If you felt that as, you know, playing Kelly, if you felt that at
A
the time, feel it as much in the moment. Yeah, but when you, when we did step out of that soundstage, because we were really together in this little soundstage in Van Nuys, California, like we weren't experiencing what was happening in real time.
B
Right, right. Because it wasn't like online. So it's like a tabloid or a. Yeah, yeah.
A
To read like the Big Bopper or whatever.
B
Right. That's kind of nice.
A
It was nice.
B
So you're saying the writing and the storylines kind of. I mean, you guys found it hard to separate it a little bit yeah.
A
And it created tension, it created competition. More, more competition than it was already there. And I fell prey to, you know, acting in ways that I wouldn't, you know, I wouldn't want to ever repeat. So, you know, in, in really examining those relationships and, you know, writing about them in the book, that is a case of like having to forgive myself for acting in certain ways as a young woman. That I thought was how you were supposed to, you know, defend yourself or keep your position or be the chosen girl or whatever in that moment. And there were areas that. That was, you know, it was painful and it was damaging.
B
Like you have, you're. You had regrets about that and that's why you're saying part of it is like forgiving yourself for.
A
Yeah, I mean, we, I think at some point in our lives it's really important that we get self reflective. And I, and I, I really believe in the. I say stop pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb. And I will always look at my part in something. Now as a grown woman and wherever there is a misstep or wherever there. Something that needs to be cleaned up, I'm welcoming it. I welcome it because I don't want to. I never want to hurt anybody or be not nice person. But I think in those moments as a young girl, I resorted to the only thing I saw around me as effective and defending what my position was because I had no security and it was all a lot of insecurity, whether it was in my personal life or on set. I had a lot of growing up to do after that show. And I took a. That's when I really started to delve deep into like, who am I and why have I done the things I've done? Why do I act the way I act? Why is or why are really love relationships so difficult for me? You know, I had to really look, go inside, go deep inside.
B
Because you also mentioned that you were good friends with Tiffany Thiessen, who played Valerie.
A
Yes.
B
And they are not friends anymore, which made me sad. I got excited. It was like a quick, like, oh, they were best friends. Oh, they're not friends anymore. Like. But you talking about that very openly about how, you know, as a young girl feeling like competitive and having those issues come up and finding it hard sometimes to connect with other girls because you're maybe both after the same thing,
A
the same attention, the same, in this case, like, you know, the same attention.
B
The same attention. And he said it was really noticeable on set. Like who got attention, who didn't, who came in that must be so difficult.
A
I mean, I know the set was. I did always try to make it, like, nice for people coming in, because I can imagine what that must have been like. But there were times I was young, I didn't really know how to handle that, and there were times where I was threatened and I felt threatened. I wasn't threatened, but I felt threatened. And like I said, there are maybe instances that I don't know of where I made people feel a certain way that I would never really want them to feel.
B
So did you. You said you and Shannon did make amends before she passed, so you got to talk about that.
A
Yeah. We had a mutual respect for each other. Just as grown women, as Aries women.
B
I was wondering what sign you were. Aries. Okay.
A
Yeah. You know, we recognized our strengths in each other, I think, and we had a respect for one another, and things were nice. We weren't like best friends that hung out all the time, but again, love her just as much as I love Gabrielle or Ayan or Jason, you know?
B
Well, you and Tori had a special friendship. How did she, like, what was different about her than other. Other girls on set that you were able to kind of be more open with her from. From the get?
A
We worked a lot together. Like, our characters were Kelly and Tom all the time.
B
True, true, true.
A
I think we just spent more time with one another that we bonded really deeply. She was fun. We. We did, like, DIY projects together, and, you know, we just hung out, and she would come to my house and I. So I didn't have to go out. So she would go out with other people, and then she would come over and do, like, latch hook rugs with me.
B
That's so sweet. And you wrote in the book, too, you were like, we're so different. And I was like, yeah, they are. Like, I think people wouldn't look at both of you right now and think, you know, yeah, they make sense together.
A
Yeah. But that's the beauty of friendship.
B
Yeah.
A
You. You know, I love her the way she is, and she loves me the way I am.
B
Yeah. And you guys trying to make the. The reboot happen. Bh. I saw the trailer. I was watching it today. So good.
A
Like, it was fun.
B
How did it only get six episodes?
A
I think it was really expensive.
B
You guys were expensive.
A
And the. This show in general, I mean.
B
Yeah, it was high.
A
That's a big cast to reunite.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. And it was the writing. The team. The writing team was kind of in and out, and we had some changes mid. Mid Episodes.
B
It was really tough because then the reboots are over. Like, no more reboots in our lives.
A
I don't know. I feel like probably. I don't.
B
You know, today they're doing things differently. Like, every show has, like, a reunion. Now they're doing things more reuniony. Have you noticed that? Like, the Friends reunion they, like, brought. But I feel like with 90210, now that two cast members aren't with us, it's missing. It's missing. What did you think of the reboot? 90210? The.
A
The younger version of the CW version?
B
Yeah, the CW version.
A
Well, I was on it, and it's so funny because I say, yeah, I did a few episodes of that. And Tori's like, you did 23 episodes of that.
B
You did 23?
A
And I'm like, I absolutely did not. And she looked it up, and it said 23.
B
Okay. So I didn't watch it. But did you play Kel?
A
I think Kelly, like, the counselor. Like, she had become the counselor at the school.
B
Oh, that's funny.
A
And I really did it because a friend of mine was producing it, and he was so excited about it, and I couldn't say no. I wasn't in that place in my life where I felt confident enough to say no to things.
B
Why would you say no?
A
I mean, looking back, I wish I had said no to that. Really, because it was a different show. It didn't need me, and it was just very different.
B
But it was a hot show.
A
People loved it.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
You didn't love it.
A
Sounds like I just felt like what was. Should have.
B
Yeah. But how does it work? Like, they got the rights. Like, it was, like, a thing like that.
A
I. Yeah, I guess.
B
Yeah.
A
They came and sat in my living room and were like, please just do this. Yeah. It's gonna be great for the fans.
B
Yeah. But again, whole new. Whole different show. Is there anything you took from set back in the day?
A
I think I only got Kelly's cowboy boots.
B
Yeah.
A
And she would wear with, like, baby doll dresses. Yeah. I still have.
B
Bitch. I was jealous of her too.
A
Yeah. She had good clothes.
B
Yeah.
A
Good looks.
B
What do you think she would. She would be like, today.
A
I think Kelly would. It's so funny because I'm in the short hair part of the show that I'm watching it back now.
B
Oh, you talked about the pixie cutie cut.
A
And I feel like she would be more like Jackie Taylor, like her mom.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Like, I think she would be fancy.
B
Oh, she would be fancy. Yeah, yeah. Like designers and stuff. That's so funny when you talked about the pixie cut, because I was like. I mean, as a viewer, you're like, oh, Kelly got a haircut. But it's like real life. Jenny got a haircut, showed up to set with it.
A
Yeah.
B
Did anybody freak out on set?
A
Like, not that got to me. I didn't get the message. But Aaron Spelling was notoriously very specific about hair not being cut, and I did it, and I never heard.
B
Did you not know that he was notorious about that, or did you.
A
Were you a rebel? I didn't know. I thought, oh, I'm up. I'm keeping up with the times. Like, the character's evolving. Like, she has to have the new look.
B
Yeah. But I feel like it worked for her. Like, was she a little edgier that season?
A
I think the eyeliner was a little darker.
B
Yeah.
A
That may have been the cocaine. The cocaine season.
B
Kelly's been through so much. I wanted to ask because somehow we've been an hour and all these freaking things can go to your questions.
A
Yeah.
B
I don't know how it's been an hour. It's so easy to talk to you. I know. Okay, so let's do a few quick ones then.
A
Okay.
B
Who was your celebrity crush back then?
A
Celebrity crush?
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, it was Luke.
B
I know.
A
Yeah. But, like, oh, my gosh.
B
I love that it's Luke. But if 921 know was cast today, who do you think would play Kelly?
A
They did a movie on Lifetime where they. They didn't cast Kelly. They cast Jenny like me, and the girl looked exactly like me. Her name's Abby. Hey, Abby, if you're listening.
B
Wait, I don't understand. They cast Jenny. I don't understand.
A
It was, like, about the real life. It was like a documentary, but with actors.
B
Oh, okay.
A
It was weird. It was weird to watch because it wasn't accurate. Yeah. Like, they got broad strokes of each of us.
B
Right. Wait, that's so funny.
A
Yeah. Who. Who would. I would like Sabrina Carpenter to play.
B
That actually is good.
A
She's so adorable.
B
Actually is good. Would you ever do a reality show?
A
I've done reality shows.
B
I know the C. You did your cmt. But would you, like, go on, like, Traders or something?
A
No.
B
Okay.
A
No.
B
Housewives.
A
Yeah, I've been asked to be on Housewives, but which one? I don't even know. The Beverly Hills ones, I'm sure.
B
But how the hell would you fit in there?
A
I don't know. That's what I. That's Why? I said no. Like, I don't think that's the right environment for me to feel good and healthy.
B
Right. And we're focused on that. Who from the cast is most like their character in real life?
A
Ayin.
B
Ayin.
A
Yeah. He just loves to make people smile.
B
His haircut, by the way, looking back
A
now, I mean, his clothes. We always rip him apart and he hates it. I'm sorry. I love you so much.
B
No, because everybody else, you're like, okay, like, it could be cool today. Like, 90s are really coming back. And then I saw Steve's hair, and I was like, that really is the
A
only thing that was really poofy during that.
B
No, it had, like, a mullet situation.
A
So good. Yeah, the mullet is back in. I mean, in certain crowds.
B
Yeah. So Ian is the most. Okay, so I'm so sad our hour is over, Jenny. I feel like we're just getting started, but thank you so much for coming. I loved your book choosing me. So everybody should pick it up or listen. You don't care if we listen, right?
A
No, listen.
B
We're down with the listening. Listen, I. I love the story. I loved hearing more about you, and I feel like there were a lot of good life lessons in there, too.
A
Great. Thank you.
B
Thank you.
A
So happy.
B
Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday.
A
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products
B
or services referred to in this episode, day or night. VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And, hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.
C
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Printed: April 21, 2026
Host: Amanda Hirsch
Guest: Jennie Garth
This episode welcomes iconic actress Jennie Garth—famed for her role as Kelly Taylor in Beverly Hills 90210—to discuss her new book I Choose Me, reflections on fame, mental health, grief, motherhood, and the unique pressures of growing up in the limelight. Amanda and Jennie take a candid, vulnerable journey through Jennie’s professional and personal highs and lows: from early career serendipity and 90s television superstardom to dealing with loss, self-forgiveness, and healing.
The episode blends nostalgia, life lessons, and inside-Hollywood honesty, offering fans a rare glimpse into the woman behind one of TV’s most beloved and scrutinized characters.
For fans of 90s nostalgia, behind-the-scenes Hollywood stories, and heartfelt self-discovery, this episode is both a trip down memory lane and a testament to personal evolution and resilience.