Not Skinny But Not Fat

Episode: Jessi Draper Is in the Hot Seat

Host: Amanda Hirsch
Guest: Jessi Nagati Korra (Secret Lives of Mormon Wives)
Date: November 21, 2025

Episode Overview

This juicy episode features Amanda Hirsch deep-diving with Jessi Nagati Korra, one of the breakout stars from the Hulu reality series "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." Season 3’s shocking drama centered around Jessi: her affair with Marciano, fallout with castmates like Demi, and the very public unraveling of her marriage to Jordan. The conversation is raw and honest, unpacking how reality phenomena spill into real life, how Jessi’s business and relationships have been affected, and the complicated sisterhood of Utah influencer culture.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Season 3: All About Jessi

• Amanda reveals she booked Jessi for the podcast before watching the Season 3 screeners, only to discover Jessi is the center of the season’s drama.
  • "Every single episode...had a huge story. There was no, like, filler episode. You know what I mean?" (A, 01:16)
• Jessi describes being thrust from a “side character” to the main storyline unexpectedly with the exposure of her affair.
  • “You always, like, you're like, oh, you know, when are you going to be a main character? And it's like -- not this way.” (B, 05:01)

2. Fallout From the Affair

• Jessi and Amanda discuss how the affair with Marciano surfaced and exploded (especially the confrontation by Layla at an influencer event).
  • “She knew what was about to happen. She knew and I didn’t.” (B, 05:31)
• On reality TV’s authenticity:
  • “That’s when you know it’s like, legit legit, slash, it’s still a reality show.” (A, 03:46)
• Jessi says she felt truly blindsided by Layla, but her friend genuinely didn’t expect the situation to be real.
• The “Cialis” story and Marciano’s oversharing, which became a point of laughter/shock among the cast.
  • “He said that on the call?…He said that was gross too. I was like, what?!” (B, 07:34)

3. Jessi’s Marriage: Behind the Scenes

• Jessi opens up about her marriage struggles, emotional abuse, and the fallout from the affair:
  • “I had been emotionally abused for about four years...not to make it okay...but I just was in such a dark headspace.” (B, 11:43)
• Jessi and Jordan kept the affair secret for six months before it became public; they only disclosed separation publicly after confronting the reality that it would be revealed.
• On whether the cheating was a “cry for help”:
  • “I did like, do it as, like, a cry for help. Like, I was like, maybe if I do this, I can get out of what I’m in.” (B, 12:06)
• Post-scandal, Jessi and Jordan separated for 90 days and have since reconciled, crediting therapy and public accountability for their growth.

4. Public Perception & Masculinity

• Amanda and Jessi talk about audience reactions and the gendered narrative of cheating, especially as Jessi was the breadwinner after Jordan quit his job:
  • “I feel like men need, like, work as a sense of identity...he stopped working...and I feel like it just threatened his ego.” (B, 25:03)
• On emasculation:
  • “It was almost like you didn’t care about me. It was just, like, the idea of me. And he’s realized that.” (B, 29:20)

5. Influencer Culture, Money, and Marriages

• The Utah influencer scene is examined—the unique blend of reality TV fame, influencer marriages, and gender roles.
• Several husbands, including Jordan, have left traditional jobs; not all adapt well.
  • “They don’t want to be full time dads either. Like, they want to have their cake and eat it too sometimes.” (B, 25:39)
• Jessi’s success with her hair extension business (Jay Z Styles) and dynamics with other cast members who leverage her services.

6. Friendship Fallout, Villain Arcs & Cast Dynamics

• Amanda and Jessi talk cast relationships:
  • Jessi’s friendship with Demi officially ended before the affair was public; their deeper issues began in Season 1.
  • Demi’s "villain" role this season is dissected.
  • Whitney’s journey from disliked to "queen" of the audience; proof cast trajectories can change with edit and time.
  • "Honestly, good for Whitney for sticking with it and not just running away." (A, 55:15)
• On whether Jessi could be friends with Demi again:
  • “Never. We tried for a minute...I hit a point where I’m like, okay, I’m actually done.” (B, 59:00)

7. Mom Talk/Mormonism/Utah Culture

• Influence of Mormon culture, perfectionism, and the rapid pace of relationships/divorce in Utah.
• "Everyone gets married young and very quickly, like, within six months." (B, 63:53)
• Cosmetic enhancements are discussed openly: Jessi shares details about her nose tweak and laser treatments, and the pressures of beauty in Utah.

8. Show Business: Dancing with the Stars, Bachelorette, and Beyond

• Whitney and Jen’s stints on Dancing with the Stars—discussion of backstage dynamics and audience support.
• Taylor becoming the next Bachelorette and the anticipation/fears about how she’ll break the mold:
  • “She doesn’t follow rules, so we’ll see...it’s going to be like Taylor’s version of the Bachelorette.” (B, 59:49)

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Being Thrust Into the Spotlight:
  • “I have to just own it. Like, I have to tell it.” – Jessi (05:13)
• On Reality TV and Truth Coming Out:
  • "On reality TV, you can't have secrets, and the truth will always come out, even if it takes a few seasons. Like, I've learned that the hard way." – Jessi (08:26)
• On Marriage Breakdown:
  • "For sure cheating. But I had been emotionally abused for about four years." – Jessi (11:43)
• On Public Pressure and Appearance:
  • "It was the hate I got after...You look old. You look like a man. You are so ugly. Like, it was really flooded. Yeah." – Jessi (49:51)
• On Gender Dynamics and Emasculation:
  • "I feel like men need, like, work as sense of identity and it gives them purpose. And he stopped working..." – Jessi (25:03)
• On the Cost of Fame:
  • “Being public, you see yourself from this angle and that angle and you're like, oh.” – Amanda (50:23)
• On Villainy and Agency:
  • “It's either lean in or go home...at this point, you're, like, a beautiful villain.” – Amanda (37:23)
• On the Culture of Perfection:
  • “Perfectionism and Mormonism: We all love to, like, look perfect and sound perfect and act perfect...which benefits my business.” – Jessi (49:27)
• On Personal Growth:
  • “You have to own it. But she also does not care about money, which I love about Taylor.” – Jessi (35:27)
• On Utah Marriages:
  • “There's a thing called, like, Ring by Spring...if you meet someone in the fall, you're married by spring.” – Jessi (63:53)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Topic
|-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 00:01 | Amanda introduces Jessi and the background of the drama-filled Season 3
| 03:52 | Transition from supporting cast to main character; being “in the hot seat”
| 05:19 | Layla’s confrontation and filming realities
| 06:52 | Fallout, friend betrayals, the affair goes public
| 11:10 | Jessi opens up about marriage struggles and emotional abuse
| 12:08 | Rebuilding the marriage, therapy, and family reactions
| 13:34 | Coping with public reaction, audience perception
| 25:00 | Jordan’s feelings of emasculation and breadwinner challenges
| 31:20 | How Jordan discovered the affair
| 35:09 | Taylor as the “leader,” friendship dynamics
| 46:00 | Business ups and downs from show visibility
| 49:36 | Cosmetic tweaks and beauty standards
| 53:47 | Whitney and Jen on Dancing with the Stars
| 59:09 | Taylor as The Bachelorette; production secrets
| 61:06 | Utah influencer event culture, influencer “mole” drama
| 62:23 | Jessi’s first marriage and divorce; Utah’s marriage culture
| 64:08 | Mormonism, leaving the church
| 65:33 | Hair industry “rivalry” (Hair by Chrissy)
| 66:34 | Episode wrap-up, Jessi reflects on future drama

Tone and Style

• Conversational, candid, sometimes irreverent but always warm.
• Amanda leans into both fangirling and hard-hitting questions.
• Jessi is notably honest, self-aware, and avoids sugar-coating difficult experiences.
• Much of the humor comes from Amanda’s side comments or reactions to reality TV absurdities.

Final Thoughts

This episode delivers everything fans want: juicy reality TV backstory, heartfelt reflection, and unfiltered inside scoops. Jessi owns up to her choices and pain, contextualizes them in the echo chamber of Utah’s influencer culture, and, with Amanda’s supportive but probing questioning, highlights both the glamor—and the cost—of public vulnerability.