← Not Skinny But Not Fat
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- [00:00]
Podcast Announcer
The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
- [00:04]
Amanda Hirsch
Welcome back to the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars from my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Okay, you guys, I was obsessed with this season of Love Is Blind. Season seven just wrapped up last week. We watched the reunion. We have so much to talk about. I'm gonna have on Taylor Krause and Hannah Giles this episode. So first we're gonna have the interview with Taylor, then we're gonna have the interview with Hannah air. So enjoy them both. Let's start with Taylor. Hi, gorgeous. Hey.
- [00:54]
Podcast Announcer
How's it going?
- [00:55]
Amanda Hirsch
How are you?
- [00:56]
Podcast Announcer
I'm actually in LA right now.
- [00:57]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, cool. I'm in New York because if you were, I was in la, I would try to make that happen in person.
- [01:02]
Podcast Announcer
But next time in New York City. I freaking love New York City. Garrett and I were supposed to move there right after the show and everything, but.
- [01:11]
Amanda Hirsch
You were?
- [01:12]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. We both have, like, completely remote jobs and I love New York City and we're going to do, like, digital nomading, and New York City was going to be our first stop, but it's kind of aggressive and maybe one day.
- [01:25]
Amanda Hirsch
But what overwhelmed you? What overwhelmed you about New York? What scared you away?
- [01:30]
Podcast Announcer
Not. No, not. Not me, but yeah. And he has, like, two businesses and, like, works full time and, like, hasn't lived away from home. So, like, we're. We're moving, like, one foot in front of the other.
- [01:44]
Amanda Hirsch
So where are you guys right now?
- [01:46]
Podcast Announcer
We're in Fredericksburg, which is a small town. Not that small, but outside, like an hour outside D.C. where he's from.
- [01:52]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay. And the plan is San Diego at some point, right?
- [01:55]
Podcast Announcer
Not anymore.
- [01:57]
Amanda Hirsch
That huge conversation shifted. What?
- [02:00]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. So we are planning on DC next. I had been there for five years and was kind of just ready to be closer to my parents and like, find a. A, A partner that I could raise kids with. But D.C. is really great for me for, like, job wise. And I also think living on the east coast is just really, really fun and different. But as Garrett spent more time away from home this year, it just. San Diego was kind of too much of a shock, I think, across the country. But we go back super often and no one, like, who's to say what. What could happen in, like, the next five years? So we're just taking it one step at a time.
- [02:39]
Amanda Hirsch
So you're more like go with the flow. Can move like sates. Like you're. It's not, not as hard for you.
- [02:49]
Podcast Announcer
No, it's not as hard. I've always kind of been someone that like just exists in space. And my friends are like, I. We never really know where in the world you are. And I was like, I barely sometimes know.
- [02:59]
Amanda Hirsch
So. Yeah, because even your apartment that we're like, boop. Like if you like, sometimes you're watching Love is Mine. You're like on your phone for a second, you look back up, you're like, wait, does she live here? Oh, she comes here sometimes. It's her friends down downstairs. What? Like, at first I thought we were going to see your. But you're. You were in that apartment only when you were in town or. What was that?
- [03:23]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah, actually it's. This will make more sense. But like I was a corporate girly. I had my own like really nice luxury apartment with like a pool, a gym, and like was like aesthetically put together. And then after, like I was ready to kind of move back to San Diego and then the show came up and I was like, well, like this maybe can be my last hurrah of living in D.C. but like I don't like, I need maybe somewhere that's an in between spot. And was also doing a lot of traveling. So my friend owned a home in D.C. that had like a basement apartment area. And she usually rents it out or Airbnbs it, but she let me just like do it from month to month. And so that's why it looks like a bachelor den. And like she has like a storage room and stuff like that. So it was like, I look like a weirdo.
- [04:14]
Amanda Hirsch
It doesn't add up. You don't look like a weirdo. It doesn't add up for you, right? Because like when we see you, you're the most like put together person. You're like type A. And then we're like, why are there solo cups? Like the solo cups. We deserve an explanation.
- [04:30]
Podcast Announcer
So my friend would throw a lot of parties down there. And so I used to like attend the parties obviously. But then living there, it like was so different and so like it was never like, it became something that was just too overwhelming for me being someone that like needs my own space and I need things.
- [04:48]
Amanda Hirsch
You're right.
- [04:49]
Podcast Announcer
Like I'm a very specific person and like liking things put together and clean and like my own. But that was kind of the trade off that I had renting the space for flexibly from her.
- [04:58]
Amanda Hirsch
So okay, let's backtrack. As everyone that follows me knows and is listening. From the beginning, I was like this Taylor, like, oh my God. I think I even said, like, want to be her obsessed. Just everything about you is like, just glamorous without trying. You're so smart. You're so on it. You're so beautiful. Hyping you up to the galore gazoo. And I was like, wow. Like, it was so refreshing to see somebody like you on reality tv. I'm sure.
- [05:28]
Podcast Announcer
Thank you.
- [05:28]
Amanda Hirsch
You get that, right? Like, when you decide to do the show where people around you, like, concerned, weirded out, did it not align with who you are?
- [05:37]
Podcast Announcer
Yes and no. So I'm, I'm not. I don't think it's a person that's like, disparaging on other people at all. And so I was like, maybe reality show, like, in my mind, I just thought that it's like, you're more interesting the more you kind of like, stir up and cause drama. And so I thought I was like, like, even in the pod, Garrett and I were kind of sitting there after we got engaged and I knew there was only, like, people kept telling me, only five couples go on to Cabo. And I was like, okay, well, you and I are going home, babe. Like, we're super boring. And so to thinking that, like, that's why I didn't think I was going to do necessarily well, but I thought it was interesting. And my friends are. They know me as a person that's always like, trying out new things and being open minded and putting myself out there. And like, dating was something that I kind of like found to be super fun. And I've always been really open about. And so for that reason of, like, love is blind, I think it aligned well. And like, I actually only applied because I had friends encouraged me to apply because they were recruiting happy in D.C. and by like the fourth or fifth person that are like, you should apply. I don't know if I should be like, offended that you guys, like, lead to find someone, but, like, so why.
- [06:53]
Amanda Hirsch
Do you think twice? Why do you think? Because are most of your friends, like, in relationships and you're like the single one. Like, why was everyone telling you to do this?
- [07:02]
Podcast Announcer
No, I don't. Most of my friends actually aren't in relationships. Like, I'm hilariously the first person to get married in, like, my friend group.
- [07:11]
Amanda Hirsch
You're 29, right? Or are you 30 up?
- [07:13]
Podcast Announcer
I'm now 30. Yeah.
- [07:15]
Amanda Hirsch
Congratulations. 30 is so fun.
- [07:18]
Podcast Announcer
It's great. It's Just a better finance, more well thought out 20s.
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Amanda Hirsch
Love that. But you are very, like, you seem very together. Are we missing something? Like, obviously we know you party now. Like, you can get down. You're saying, like, before.
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Podcast Announcer
I. I like a good party.
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Amanda Hirsch
For sure you like a good party. The fact that you're into, like, molecules. And what's the tattoo?
- [07:41]
Podcast Announcer
It's a little hydrogen molecule. So that's like a diatomic molecule, which means, like, two hydrogen atoms together, which is like the clean energy technology. That is my field of expertise, and I did my master's thesis in.
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Amanda Hirsch
Wow. Wait. And Garrett doesn't have that tattoo, but he has, like, another.
- [08:00]
Podcast Announcer
You have a physics equation, which is the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, which is something that, like, is a fundamental theory in. In physics, where it's like, basically, you can't know where it's. It's called a wave, like, particle, but something that exists in space and time. Like, you can't know how fast it's going and where exactly it is at the same time. Like, that's what the uncertainty principle is. And so that was really cool. I was like, did you tell them that, like, you had that equation, like, that tattoo? And he was like. He was like, no, I didn't. And I was like, I don't think I told him about my hydrogen tattoo. So that's just, like, even weirder.
- [08:38]
Amanda Hirsch
Both of you are in the science fields.
- [08:41]
Podcast Announcer
Yes, both in. Both in science field. Garrett's more in the. Like, he works for a company that builds quantum computers, which, like, don't ask. I don't even. I don't. He's explained it to me, like, 10 times. And then I work in more of, like, policy that helps clean energy technologies become more commercialized.
- [09:02]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, that's cool. And you said also he has another company now, like, his own company.
- [09:07]
Podcast Announcer
You mentioned he owns two other businesses.
- [09:10]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah, two other businesses. Okay, so Garrett's doing well. Garrett's doing well.
- [09:16]
Podcast Announcer
He's a really. He's a very smart and driven person. And I. That's one regret from, like, not regret, but something I wish was a little different from the show. Like, I don't feel like people got to know him as well. And he. Yeah, he's like. I just. I just feel like Ken was like, I sometimes. But he is very. He's very put together, too.
- [09:37]
Amanda Hirsch
He felt like. He felt like he didn't. His personality didn't come through right.
- [09:43]
Podcast Announcer
And I agree with that.
- [09:44]
Amanda Hirsch
I feel like I think I even made the mistake because I remember, like I said at the beginning, I was so, like, into you, Right. And then I see your dates with Garrett, and you're so into it, and I'm like, she's so cool. He's a little bit of a nerd. I don't understand. But I actually quickly took it back. Like, I. A couple episodes later, I was like, I completely take it back. Like, he's definitely deserving of her, and they're so cute together, so. You're right. People that are not as observant as I am could have made the mistake and not gotten with it, but it took me, like, a couple episodes to learn. Like, no, no. Like, he's. He's. He's good. He's good for her, and he's a good. He's a good catch. Then. Now we can't say that anymore.
- [10:27]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah, he's smart and, like. And, like, has very, I think, interesting interests and, like, supports me and is kind of all you can ask for.
- [10:36]
Amanda Hirsch
Listen, the fishing, like, now I'm, like, disappointed that my husband doesn't have, like, more interesting hobbies, because, first of all, a hobby is such a cool thing to have. Like, I don't really have one, but, like, catching these huge fish and that being something you're so passionate about, aside from your job where you make money and everything, and aside from your wife, it's such a cool thing that really, like, enriches your life.
- [11:00]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. And I love boats and sushi, so this is, like, a perfect one.
- [11:05]
Amanda Hirsch
Has he made you sushi from any of the fish?
- [11:08]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. Like, nice at sashimi, which is, you know, is expensive. And, like, we have a freezer full of, like, high quality, natural, awesome fish at all times.
- [11:21]
Amanda Hirsch
So you kind of have to live somewhere where he could go fishing, which isn't New York. Like, that's not happening in the Hudson river, you know, I would hope not.
- [11:29]
Podcast Announcer
But apparently there are places, like, in New Jersey that you can go spear fishing. And, like, I mean, San Diego has a lot of fishing, so I'm hopeful to maybe.
- [11:44]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah, some fisher.
- [11:45]
Podcast Announcer
Some fishermen could beg to. To befriend us.
- [11:49]
Amanda Hirsch
Garrett's glow up, which obviously took the Internet by storm. Is he not into talking about it? You guys were kind of like, obviously, nobody's saying Gary wasn't good looking before he was, but there was a change of, like, the hair and the fits. That's more of it, right? It's like his hair got long. And maybe because what everyone was saying, like, wait, Garrett's dressing so much better. Like, he's still married. That's what the vibe was on social media. Everyone kind of knew you guys were together because he was dressing so well.
- [12:20]
Podcast Announcer
Isn't that funny? Because I just, like, for girls, we always have breakup glow ups. So I was like, in my mind, I was like, it could go either way. But I guess, like, for some, most of my exes, like, they look worse after, for sure. So I'm just kidding. But for, for Garrett, like, he actually has a very, like, I think, more robust taste in fashion than I do. Like, in the pods, I told him I had just gone to New York Fashion Week and, like, just as like, a friend, a guest, he was like, that's so cool. Like, I would love to go. And I was like, really? And then he, like, started talking about the clothes that he had, had bought or, like, had with him that are very detailed and, like, higher quality, and talked about, like, this one jacket for, like, 20 minutes. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, we could have talked about. But anyway, like, I thought it was endearing and cute. And then, like, this past September, he got invited to model in New York Fashion.
- [13:17]
Amanda Hirsch
How did that happen?
- [13:18]
Podcast Announcer
He had bought a couple pieces from a designer who was actually based in San Diego and, like, worked with him and he needed models for New York Fashion Week and had reached out to Garrett and he was like. We were like, hell, yeah, let's go. And so went up to New York City and he did it. And that's where a lot of the, like, glow up pictures, right? And he looks freaking hot. Like, he looks great. Like, he looks like a model.
- [13:43]
Amanda Hirsch
So did you have anything to do with him growing out his hair? Was that him?
- [13:47]
Podcast Announcer
No, it was all him. He's. He didn't really like his hair before, and, like, it's something that he always wanted to kind of work on, but, you know, he didn't really have a reason to. He was more focused on, I think, his businesses and spearfishing than, like, opportunities that would look better. So I'm very supportive. I'm never going to tell him how to look or what to do or what to wear. Like, he would never do that for me. So I'm. I'm glad that he's excited about stepping more into, like, how he looks and feeling really good.
- [14:19]
Amanda Hirsch
Well, I think also people thought that, that it was you because your fashion sense was so good and we loved your fits in the pod. Like, did you plan those out before? Like, did you have any help? Like, what was the vibe?
- [14:33]
Podcast Announcer
I did plan them out before because I am a type A person and they send you. This deck of the, like a packing list, essentially. And if you, if you matrix all the things that they're asking for, it's like 30 different outfits. And I was like, how am I going to fit this into, like, three suitcases? And so you kind of have to be diligent about, like, what you pick and choose. There's some people that probably just, like, didn't. But I'm just, I'm not that kind of person to not be as prepared as possible. So I, I did my styling thing and I come from science. Like, I don't really get to try this kind of stuff. And my friend who brought me to New York Fashion Week, she was like, yeah, this is how you do it. Like, you put on the clothes, try it. Like, get out your phone, look at it on camera. It's going to be so different than when you, like, look at a mirror. You're going to feel a lot more prepared and confident going into it, if you're, if you're ready. So that's, that's what I did.
- [15:23]
Amanda Hirsch
And did you, did she help you or did you kind of pick all of your own outfits?
- [15:28]
Podcast Announcer
I mostly picked all of my own outfits. Like, I think I'm fully. I had a spreadsheet and, like, a budget because I was like, there's no way I'm spending over, like, $1,000 for this stuff. And, like, I'm, I'm like, intimately familiar with like, Zara at H and m of like, September 2023.
- [15:45]
Amanda Hirsch
Listen, you guys, H and M can surprise you. I'll just put it that way. I know that everyone hypes Zara, but, like, check out H and M sometimes. Like, there could be a blazer. There could be like a pair of slacks. Like, it's there for you if you need it.
- [15:59]
Podcast Announcer
For sure. I think they have. I honestly, a lot. There's a lot of things from my closet that are H and M. And I completely, wholeheartedly agree.
- [16:07]
Amanda Hirsch
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- [21:10]
Podcast Announcer
I just didn't really have too much to say, to be completely honest. Like, during the experiment, Garrett and I, like, both became friends with, like, people on, like, me, the girls, him with the guys, and. But I kind of really kept to myself. Like, I just. That I just kind of stayed in my lane. So when people, like, were airing out their stuff, like, I didn't actually really have too much to, like, kind of contribute. And it's. I. I just kind of wanted to, like, stay out of it again. Like, it speaks to me thinking that I was going to be the worst reality television show person ever, because I was like, I don't. I don't really. I don't have anything to contribute, nor do I want to, like, kind of it.
- [21:52]
Amanda Hirsch
So are you friends still with any of the girls or. Not really.
- [21:56]
Podcast Announcer
I'm still, like, I'm still friends with all of the girls, I would get a. Like, coffee or dinner with any of them. But I'm closest with Ashley, obviously, because we both, like, got married. Like, we were. We were homies in the pods. And then obviously, the evolved in you. We both got married, and it's. It's a different ball game.
- [22:14]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. And she's. She's also super smart. After I. I watched the reunion, I was like, she's so great. And then someone wrote, like, I wish I was as smart as her and as, you know, patient and calm about the situation as her. I did notice that Garrett was getting kind of pissed during the reunion about the grenade conversation that went on for a long time about Hannah and Nick. Is that because he's close with Nick, or did he just feel like the conversation was, like, stooping too low?
- [22:41]
Podcast Announcer
I think he's actually just. He's friends with Nick, and if I. If that were my friend and you kind of watched them get belittled over and over again, and, like, Hannah, like, didn't really say sorry out of the gate, she kind of doubled down. So I think for Garrett, it's like. It's like, no matter what he called you in the beginning, like, you. Like, for Garrett, he saw that Nick actually really fell in love with her and, like, was authentic about it from, like, there on out. So going back and trying to justify doing that, I think just really frustrated him. And, like, if that was my friend, I'd probably feel the same way.
- [23:16]
Amanda Hirsch
Like, he'd stick up. You'd stick up for them. But he did say that he, like, wanted to be famous out of the show. Like, that would piss you off, too. No.
- [23:25]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. No. It's a giant. It's a giant red flag. Like, I. I never thought I'd be defending Nick. D. We got to the end of this experiment. I'm not saying that he possibly didn't go in with, like, ulterior motives, for sure, but from our experience on, like. Like, once we were in the real world, like, it seemed very genuine. But I don't know him very well, but that. That was Garrett's take on it.
- [23:52]
Amanda Hirsch
I say. And about the fame thing, because, listen, the fact that Nick wrote it down and that was aired out is one thing. The fact that we know that a lot of people do go on reality shows for a multitude of reasons, one of them being you can get some followers, you can get some Internet fame. What was your kind of percentages? Like, did you have any of that? Like, were you into that side of it at all? Or was it Just like the dating part.
- [24:17]
Podcast Announcer
So this is so bad because I actually did not know that Love is Mine was, like, a really big show before going on. Sorry, Netflix it. I didn't watch. I watched it, but, like, when I was holding laundry and I thought it was kind of like this. The list reality show. Like, sorry, I know. It's like, number one on Netflix, and it's like millions of people watch it. It's like number one watch show of all time. It's great. I didn't know that. I'm glad I didn't know that because I think I would have been probably too intimidated. But I think the experiment and the people, like, it's different than a dating show where it's like, I. I'm just judged by the way that I look at the bikini or something like that that I would have probably, like, been too intimidated to do. And I. I think it's a lovely concept of, like, trying to get to know someone for the merits of them rather than all of these other things. And I'm a scientist at heart. I thought that it was an experiment and just. I'm a curious person. But, yeah, I'm. I'm not gonna lie that they're like, are quote, unquote, like, opportunities that come from the show. But it wasn't top of mind going in at all for me. I. If anything, I thought, like, I was gonna leave in the first couple of days. Like, my parents were actually on a. They're on a safari in South Africa that I was supposed to be in. And I was like, okay, guys, like, might meet you in South Africa in, like, in probably a week. And then, like, they just didn't. Continually. Just didn't hear for me. And I had my. I obviously, like, had a producer telling them that I was continuing on, and I thought there was a 1% chance of. It's, like, actually gonna meet someone. But I thought, if anything, I would, like, learn something about myself, make a lot of girlfriends. So the way that it turned out is just like, it's still. It's still shocking in a lot of ways, but I'm. I'm really grateful for it.
- [26:06]
Amanda Hirsch
I know I've watched so many seasons. I've talked to a lot of people. It's a for real marriage, the one that we're seeing on the show, or did you get For Real Married after?
- [26:15]
Podcast Announcer
No, we got real married. Like, on the show, you go down to the courthouse, you fill out the paperwork, you work with our. What is it called? The minister, the. The officiant.
- [26:24]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay.
- [26:25]
Podcast Announcer
Like to fill out all the paperwork and so it's, it's for reals.
- [26:29]
Amanda Hirsch
And would you ever, because you said like opportunities arise from this. Would you, is it more of a side gigs? Would you ever leave like the, the, the world the actual job that you have?
- [26:41]
Podcast Announcer
Well, I work in policy, particularly clean energy policy and kind of think tank and so we have a really big week this next week in terms of like who sits in the White House. And like I think that really does affect my day to day. And for me, no, I'm, I don't plan to just like quit my job next week to, to do like any opportunities that come from the show. I'm, I'm just, I am, I know I got married on reality television in a couple weeks, but I am someone that's a little bit more risk adverse in the job kind of thing where I would take, I'd put one foot in and there are opportunities I think to like promote sustainable products that I'm in like do more creative things in fashion that like I, I got the chance to kind of experience then working at like the current place that I work. But I really like where I work. It's flexible, the people are great commission driven work. So if there's something that can like replace that that's just as fulfilling, I'm, I'm open to it. But I'd have to be proven otherwise.
- [27:43]
Amanda Hirsch
I mean did they have, did the people you work with, were they surprised at seeing you on reality tv? Did you give them a heads up?
- [27:49]
Podcast Announcer
I gave them a heads up and they were surprised. They're like you would do something like that. So like your sentiment about me being put together person is shared professionally and they thought honestly I work at a very nerdy place. The clean like climate and clean energy is also very niche. And so everyone was just very supportive and thrilled to see someone that works in, in that space base like reflected on a national stage. Like it doesn't happen often. So they were super supportive and I'm, I'm excited to go back and like they don't really gossip about the.
- [28:27]
Amanda Hirsch
You're like, you guys want the tea? You can get it. Are you guys going to plan like a big wedding now? Is that in the, in the cards?
- [28:35]
Podcast Announcer
We went back to San Diego like over Christmas like a couple months after we just got married or like a month after we got married and we're looking at wedding venues and, and for like the west coast fam because we did one for the east coast and I was like what the fuck Am I doing, like, trying to plan a wedding?
- [28:52]
Amanda Hirsch
I, like, give yourself a second.
- [28:55]
Podcast Announcer
Let me just like, focus on, you know, my new marriage and like, new, like, different parts of my life. And so we actually are excited to do that in like, when it feels right and it's enjoyable because I'm not sure, like, how your wedding played out, but, like, I've never met a bride that was like, that was great. Not stressful. Like, that was.
- [29:15]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah, like, give yourself a minute and, and there is no rush. Right. Like, you are married and you could do the, the, the part. Are you guys, Are you really. I mean, because you. Now you've said it too. Like you're a planned out person. Do you have a timeline on, like, the kids stuff and where. When you guys want to be settled down and living in a specific place?
- [29:35]
Podcast Announcer
I mean, for me, I really did think five to seven years of wanting to actually fully feel settled and enjoying like that this chapter of our marriage.
- [29:46]
Amanda Hirsch
Five to seven years.
- [29:48]
Podcast Announcer
I'd be like 35.
- [29:49]
Amanda Hirsch
No, it's a good age, but that's. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that. It's a great age. I mean, I just had a kid. I'm 36. But I wasn't. For some reason I thought. I thought differently for you. I don't know why.
- [29:59]
Podcast Announcer
And maybe I might change my mind. It was, it was so not on my radar. And I also, you know, as a woman, you do have to think about these things. Like, we do have a biological clock that I've never like, kind of figured out before. So hopefully that's a. Not a stressful journey. But if it, it's like, oh, actually, like, you're. These are the years that you. You'll have to like, consider having kids, then like, I would definitely expedite that. Five to seven years. But.
- [30:29]
Amanda Hirsch
And is Garrett on the same page?
- [30:31]
Podcast Announcer
No, he would want them, I think, like, sooner.
- [30:34]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah, you might have to. At least you might have to start saying like five and not five to seven to kind of ease like yellow. Yeah. But it's also. It's always funny when the guys are more into it because it's like, good, then do it, you know?
- [30:49]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. And his, his friend group is all married. Some of them are on like their second or like third kid. And my, like, my friend group is like, super different. So the people that are like, representative of where you are in life, like, that might. It just is different for both of us. So we're kind of trying to find out what I think a happy medium is.
- [31:09]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. And like, reminder You. So now it's been a year, right? So you've been together for a year.
- [31:16]
Podcast Announcer
In two weeks, it'll be our. Our one year anniversary on November 13th.
- [31:21]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, wow. Well, first of all, congratulations. And I hope you guys, like, stay just as cute and perfect as you are and that you figure out your own timeline, because, spoiler alert, it's probably going to change and, like, I'm sure many things you're like, it's not going to go exactly how I plan, but know that we adore you. Everyone's obsessed with you. We're so happy for you. Did Olivia Munn ever acknowledge the compliments that you guys look alike?
- [31:49]
Podcast Announcer
I have not. I've not seen Olivia Munn acknowledge it, and I'm totally okay with it. She's actually the same, like, genetic makeup as me, like, Irish, German, Cantonese, and so that's why it might look like that, but I still am. Like, I don't. I don't think so. I think she's obviously gorgeous, so I'm.
- [32:06]
Amanda Hirsch
I'm.
- [32:07]
Podcast Announcer
I'm very complimented that she, like, I look so much.
- [32:09]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. Well, that. That's crazy that you're the. The same exact genetic makeup you said.
- [32:15]
Podcast Announcer
Last time I checked.
- [32:16]
Amanda Hirsch
Last time I checked, her 23 and me, we were the same.
- [32:20]
Podcast Announcer
That was creepy. I shouldn't have said genetic makeup. I should have said, like, ethnic.
- [32:24]
Amanda Hirsch
Well, you are a scientist, so you're allowed to use those words on us.
- [32:29]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah, our chromosomes are like this.
- [32:31]
Amanda Hirsch
Well, you and Garrett need to get a matching, like, neck science tattoo. Did you plan one out?
- [32:36]
Podcast Announcer
He did talk about matching tattoos, and I was like, is it that the kids of death. Like, I'm not like a superstitious person, but.
- [32:44]
Amanda Hirsch
No, you need something like, something about, you know, molecules becoming an atom. I don't know, you're, you know, more than me, but. But you should do it. Both of you.
- [32:54]
Podcast Announcer
We should.
- [32:54]
Amanda Hirsch
Let's do.
- [32:55]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. He wanted to get a tattoo in, like, every city that we.
- [32:58]
Amanda Hirsch
We visited.
- [32:59]
Podcast Announcer
And I was like, that's so. I was like, that's a lot of work and money. But he talked about getting a sleeve and someone was like, this is. You're just getting hotter and hotter.
- [33:07]
Amanda Hirsch
Garrett. Garrett, no. So does he surprise you every day since you got together? Are you, like, learning new stuff all the time?
- [33:16]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah. I think you're constantly learning things about your partner. And, like, we. Us too, just given the really weird circumstances of, like, now having all of these opportunities, like, we're learning different interests and where we overlap, and every day is actually just it's usually. I mean, 90% of the time, because relationships do take work and they're not perfect all the time. Like, our. It's super fun. It's like living with my best friend. We have the absolute blast of, like, doing anything. And, yeah, I can't rave about him enough.
- [33:49]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, I'm so happy for you. And I know you. You have to go. I don't want to take too much of your time saving the world and making everybody clean energy, people. So thank you, Taylor, so much for coming on. I wish you guys the best of luck, and you've been really, like, such a pleasure to watch, so just know that.
- [34:05]
Podcast Announcer
Oh, thank you so much. And, like, I love your podcast and, like, your Instagram, it's always hilarious. So when I saw, like, your story, I was just like. I was like, oh, my God. Dance rolling, like, so hard. Thank you so much and appreciate it.
- [34:17]
Amanda Hirsch
Thank you. Bye. Say hi to Garrett. Get that sleeve. Okay, guys, now we're going to move on to my interview with Hannah. Hannah, what is up?
- [34:28]
Hannah
What is up? I'm so excited to talk to you.
- [34:30]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, my God. I just watched the reunion. I have to say, first of all, you know, we do have a lot to talk about. As you saw. What was it last week? Amy Schumer is a fan.
- [34:40]
Hannah
Yeah. That was cool. That was cool.
- [34:42]
Amanda Hirsch
So Amy Schumer. I'll tell the story. Amy. Amy Schumer calls me, and I'm. I call her back, and I'm like, hey, what's up? And I think it's something like, you know, like, what's happening? Am I going to be in her next movie? Like, what's going on? And she's like, we need to talk about Love is Blind. Like, we need to talk about it right now. It's like, okay, what's up? She's like, did you see the last episode? And I was like, yeah, like, tell me. And she had this idea for, like, a skit because she's, like, a comedian, so she thinks. And, like, comedy. And she's like, hannah. And she went on this rant. She's like, I love that girl. You know? And up until that point, like, that week, there was a lot of negative noise, you know?
- [35:18]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [35:19]
Amanda Hirsch
And then Amy Schumer literally sees the other side. She calls me, and she's like. She's so smart. She's so this. She's accepting all these, like, red flags about this guy. She tells it how it is. And she even said, I relate to that. Like, I see myself in her. Like, has to handle her. She's gonna lay it out, she's gonna be herself. I love that. And then the joke was, which she could really see it in her head was, you took all this from Nick, accepted all this, like, red flag situation. And then you were like, he doesn't eat. And then. And then. And then she was like. The way she said to me on the phone, she was like, I don't think it's a coincidence that the next day, like. Or whatever the time was, like, she broke up with him. Like, she didn't say it was because of that, but she's like, the joke is took. It took, it took. It doesn't have his own phone line. You know all this shit.
- [36:11]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [36:12]
Amanda Hirsch
So first of all, very cool anecdote. Did that feel good to get some, like, celeb love on the Internet?
- [36:18]
Hannah
Yeah, it honestly, like, yeah, it makes you just feel so much like, it's okay. It's okay. Not everybody hates you. And, like, someone as cool her, like, likes you. So, like, don't be. Okay. Yeah, it felt really cool.
- [36:29]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay, so let's start because we have a lot to get into. Hannah, first of all, you do look amazing. And I have to ask, while I was watching the reunion, and also, we know you're like, the video you did to the Freaky Friday. Was it the Freaky Friday sound? Well, no, the.
- [36:44]
Hannah
It. No, it's from Uptown Girls.
- [36:46]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, Uptown Girls. Okay. Yeah, I think so. You know, you. There was, like, a big change that you made, right?
- [36:54]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [36:54]
Amanda Hirsch
And in this reunion where obviously it comes up that Nick was talking about your looks, not so kindly, I have to ask if that had anything to do with changes that you made or feeling insecure or are we not?
- [37:09]
Hannah
Yeah. To be honest with you, I'm a spiteful person. And it's like, like, when someone, like, does me wrong, like, I have to be like, oh, like, that's what you think. Like, I'm gonna prove you wrong type of feeling, which is not a good quality to have, but it is a quality that I do have. And I was already on, like, the journey of, like, trying to lose weight and trying to, like, feel better, look better. And. Yeah, I think I heard the comment, like, back in May or June, and I was just like, I would, like, stood up, and I was like, it's time. Like, I don't know.
- [37:36]
Amanda Hirsch
But wait, you're saying to translate, you're saying you heard him say negative things about your looks, and you're like, just wait, how hot I'm going to get?
- [37:45]
Hannah
Yes, I mean, I do want to do it for myself, don't get me wrong. And, like, it is because of me. Like, and I was already doing it when I heard that. I was like, oh, you think of Renee and I'm going to show you what a bombshell looks like. Like, that's what I thought. And like, not great. But I was just like, no, that's not gonna be the narrative, which is bad. But yeah, definitely, like, kicks me up to, like, you know, get on the treadmill.
- [38:06]
Amanda Hirsch
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- [42:25]
Hannah
After. So Marissa's the one who originally had told me and I guess everyone knew but me. And they had. It was right after the reveal that he told all the guys about it. And so they had known for forever. And then Marissa finally called me like in May or June because she just like, that's really hurtful comment. She's really kind and like me, I'm like, this is what they said. But to her it's like, I don't want to tell you that's gonna hurt your family.
- [42:46]
Amanda Hirsch
Right?
- [42:47]
Hannah
Yeah. So she saved it and then eventually she was like, you know, I said this you, right?
- [42:50]
Amanda Hirsch
And I was like, wait, this is after you broke up with him though?
- [42:53]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [42:54]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, so this was going on and you didn't even know. And so many.
- [42:59]
Hannah
No clue. Yeah, like, no clue. Yeah.
- [43:01]
Amanda Hirsch
But this is, to me, is really important in the reunion. And, like, I know there are a lot of people are gonna be like, yeah, yeah, he said that. But Hannah was still like, a. No, no, this is really important. And the reason why is because this whole time we're watching and you are being, let's say, a little bit mean Tim. And he's like, hannah, I love you. So to me, that's a very big point, because so we see on the show, we're like, oh, she's mean Tim. And he's just taking it. He's just like, I love you. You're the perfect woman for me. And something isn't adding up, right? Because it takes two to tango. It doesn't make sense that one person is being. Is here and one person is here. We don't really see any explosive chemistry. He's not trying to French tongue you down the throat at every chance like some other couples. So the reason why this is important is not only because it's, like, offensive and not nice, but I feel like the reason you brought it up is more so to, like, show that he was kind of not being honest. Like, maybe he wasn't that into you. Maybe he was acting for the cameras because he wanted to be the most famous person on Love Is Mine, which didn't work, by the way. Like, what? So tell me your feelings on finding that note. Tell me if when you were in it with him, was the sexual chemistry there and we weren't seeing it because we weren't really seeing it, and what? Something. You're a smart girl that no one can take away from you. You're smart, you're sharp. Is that why we're seeing you kind of pissed? Because, like, what he's saying and how he's acting isn't connecting, or you weren't thinking that he was being real or something.
- [44:35]
Hannah
Yeah, I was livid. And that's why you're seeing, like. Like, I'm a. I have hard times, but, like, I was, like, towards the end, I'm, like, trying to seize. Like, you are not this, like, kind, like, quiet person until the cameras turn on. And so I'm being, like, extra. And I shouldn't have done this. This is my fault. But I mean, like, this extra. Like, come on, come on, come on. Because, like, towards the end, I'm like, be for real. Like, this is not. As soon as cameras cut, like, you were not like, sitting there Like a, like a quiet, kind boy and just like taking it in, which I should never done that. But that's wise because like the, the sexual chemistry that we. There was none ever. Like, I'm not a big PDA person. And like when we were Mexico, I feel like Marissa and other people were making comments like, you guys aren't touching. It's like, because I'm just not touchy. Like, I'm just not. But in private I'm very like loving, caring and like we weren't. Like there wasn't even. Not only like the sexual chemistry wasn't there, but like just like holding each other's hand or like when you're sitting watching tv, like being near each other.
- [45:35]
Amanda Hirsch
So what was there? What was keeping it there? No sexual. You were saying he wasn't giving you back like intelligent, intelligence wise. So what was keeping you there?
- [45:43]
Hannah
I think it's because, like I really like when no, I feel like I'm just like in my mind. I was like so set on and like, okay, I chose this person. This is who I chose. Like, I picked him. Like, we. I love him. Like, we. The things that he said and how like kind he was in the pods and like all this, like emotional depth to him. Like, I know it's there and like I know who he is. Like, this is not him. And I think I was just like, I don't, I really can't even tell you because I feel like the whole entire time I was just like fighting with my intuition. I was so confused. Like, my emotions were everywhere and I just like didn't know what to do really because, like I, I really did love him. And like there was a lot of good qualities there in the beginning and I think they just started to lose it. And I thought we were just like both just kind of like losing her mind a little bit. Like, it's a lot, it's. It's a lot in this experiment. So I think that's why I was like there for so long because I didn't know because he wasn't like telling me that he didn't like me or he wasn't telling me that he wasn't into me or like you could just feel it. And so like you start to think like you're crazy kind of and what.
- [46:43]
Amanda Hirsch
Happened with the going down on you stuff. Like he said, I'm not into it like as much as you can tell us with feeling comfortable. But was he just like, I don't like doing it. I don't do that for girls.
- [46:53]
Hannah
So he actually like Ramses have told me like in the pods they had a full on conversation about it because like we're prompted for like questions about sex. Like they want us to talk about it because it's important in relationships. And Rams and him had had a conversation like in the lounge about how like Nick doesn't eat. Like he just, that's not his thing. He doesn't do. He doesn't understand it and so he just doesn't. And when we were together like obviously like there were just we were lacking in like that like sexualness and like he did do it a couple times but like he's just, that's not his thing. Like he's, he wants to be pleasured and not give pleasure kind of. So. Yeah, no, I don't think he, I don't, I don't think it's just a me thing. Maybe it was, but I don't think just like preference. He's not into that or he hasn't grown up enough to be into that.
- [47:42]
Podcast Announcer
Maybe.
- [47:42]
Hannah
I don't know.
- [47:42]
Amanda Hirsch
How old is Nick?
- [47:44]
Hannah
Nick is 29.
- [47:45]
Amanda Hirsch
29. And you're 20 what?
- [47:47]
Hannah
I'm 27.
- [47:48]
Amanda Hirsch
How are you? So like you mentioned a few times you didn't really get into how you grew up, but you mentioned a few times that you've been super independent since you were younger. You've had to work, you've had to provide for yourself. Like so what can you tell us more about your background and how and why that happened?
- [48:05]
Hannah
Yeah, so my family dynamics a little bit different and so my parents very close with my parents but financially wise. So I was, my dad's not my biological father. I was adopted when I was four by him because my dad was like deadbeat, like a drunk alcoholic when mom left him type of situation. So then she married my father, now they had two more kids. It was just like, let's not talk about a type of situation. So I have a little bit of daddy issues, but financially my. When I turned 16, it was get a job. And so I played sports. So it was like, well then every single Sunday you're working at Panera Bread or you're being a lifeguard during the summertime. So my parents paid for my bills when I was in high school, but it was like anytime you want to go to the movies or you wanted to have any fun, you pay for it. And then when I turned 18, I went to college and it wasn't like my parents were like, no, we cut you off, we're never gonna see you again. It was like, they cut me off financially. Like, you're an adult now. You've got this. And if. Let's say I needed help and I was like, mom, I'm really struggling, she'd be like, yeah, of course. But it was just like, they embedded me and my brother. He's also on his own now, like, just to be financially stable and to be, like, an adult. And I think that's, like, what I was trying to say is, like, they just don't help me financially. Like, they would if I needed it. But, like, I'm not. Like, I know all my bills and I know everything because, like, I've had to do it. And so that's, like, what the point I was trying to make. Like, I'm dramatic, and I'm like, look, like, my parents are, like, you raised differently.
- [49:32]
Amanda Hirsch
It was just like, did your mom, like, get offended that you made it sound like you were an orphan? She was like. She was like, hey, we love you.
- [49:41]
Hannah
And I was like, I know you do. I don't know why I'm so dramatic. Like, I didn't. I don't. I didn't mean it like, my parents cut me off. We don't speak like, that's not how it meant.
- [49:49]
Amanda Hirsch
You meant, like, you've had to support your lifestyle, pay for your own stuff, like, once you left the house.
- [49:56]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [49:57]
Amanda Hirsch
And why. This was more of, like, a mama's boy spoiled. Right.
- [50:01]
Hannah
And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, I think it's wonderful if your parents, like, let you stay home and your parents pay your bills. Like, and it's economy. It's crazy. It's amazing. But it was just like, we. I was just trying to make a point that, like, we are at different. Like, even out here, younger than you, I think we are at different, like, levels. And, like, being ready for marriage or being, like, independent.
- [50:19]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. No, and that makes total sense. And I think you're right. I mean, people were kind of saying, like, the amount of times you said, like, I'm direct. I'm direct. But I think because I do see you and I do get you, and I wouldn't be talking to you today if I thought you were, like, a mega bitch bad person. I don't think that you are. I think that Nick wasn't a fit. And I think that, like, there was just a disconnect because it's like, why are they, like, together? Why are they saying I love you when, like, obviously you're not in the same place? And, like, yeah, okay, tell me about finding that note with I want to be the most famous person. Like, what? Did everything click for you in that moment? Were you offended? Were you. Did you feel like you were being let on? What was going on?
- [51:02]
Hannah
No, I think it was just like an aha moment for me, kind of. But basically what happened is we had broken up and my friends were in town and my mom was in town, and so I didn't find that note until literally right after we broke up. Like, what you see on tv and we were packing up, and my friends are like, what is this notebook? And they scroll through and they see it, and I feel like I'm getting a lot of shit about, like, why would you go through it? Stuff. It's like, well, Nick went through my stuff to find my, like, 10 things I hate about you list. Like, that wasn't left out for him. He went through that. And that was a private conversation that he went and brought up on camera immediately that we discussed wouldn't be on camera. So I don't really know how that's different. But, yeah, when they had found the. No. And I didn't even talk about it. Like, we even had like, a post, like, final interview thing where we just go and we, like, tell her about the experience and then bring it up because I didn't want to. That was like, a private manner. But I think I just got so annoyed because it's like, the truth. But yeah, when I found that note, I was like, are you kidding me? Like, is this, like, I just, like, I laughed a little bit because I was like, what? Like, you want to be.
- [52:04]
Amanda Hirsch
Did he give that vibe, though? Like. Because he doesn't give that vibe when we first meet him on the show. Doesn't give someone who's on there to get followers and brand deals. Like, it doesn't. He doesn't seem that way.
- [52:17]
Hannah
Yeah, I think sometimes. Yeah. No, he would be, like. He would be like, on the phone because he does real estate, like, an hour a day, and he was.
- [52:24]
Amanda Hirsch
An hour a day. Are you trying Shade?
- [52:27]
Hannah
Like, it's not trying to, but I think I just get it on because everyone's like, she's unemployed. How dare. And it's like, no, I literally quit my job to be on the show and got a job after. But, like, he would go and he would, like, film, like, a video for his Instagram reel. Like, and for like, an hour he would come back. So it's whatever.
- [52:46]
Amanda Hirsch
Wait, so he would go film, like, what, a new listing or something and then post it. And that was his thing. For the day.
- [52:53]
Hannah
Yeah. Or he would be on the phone all the time with, like, his clients. I don't know what they are, but. And he'd be like, yeah, on the new season, I love his blinded. I'm like, my fiance's right here. Do you want to speak to her? Like, he'd be like, yeah, I'm actually going to be in the upcoming season of Love. Like, he, like, I was like, Like, I don't know, like, on the plane, even on the way back from Mexico, he, like, he didn't want to set with me set, like a cross. And he was like, with some lady. And he just, like, there for, like, the two hours, just talking to her about, yeah, we were in love is blah, blah, blah.
- [53:20]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah, everyone. It seemed like everyone at the reunion thought that was weird. It seemed like, by the way, everyone at the reunion seemed to have your back, obviously. Mostly Marissa. The only person I have to ask that seemed like they were kind of shady towards the situation was Garrett. Does Garrett not like you?
- [53:41]
Hannah
I don't know. I don't speak to Garrett, really.
- [53:43]
Amanda Hirsch
I know. Imagine Hannah and Garrett had, like, this secret friendship that wouldn't really make sense, but he was kind of like, I'm done with this conversation. But also, he. He said something to the. Like, Nick had so much patience. Like, I don't know how he did it. Something like that. Yeah.
- [53:59]
Hannah
I mean, and understand, like, maybe they have, like, a good friendship. They never did, but maybe they do now. And Garrett was actually someone who told me to, like, he literally set me aside with Ramses when I. And he was like, what. What the fuck are you doing? Why are you with him? Like, why are you with him? Why are you dating him? So. And I was like, you're so right. Garrett. Garrett was my number three when we were in the pods. Yeah. So.
- [54:22]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. So let's remind everyone who your number two was.
- [54:26]
Podcast Announcer
Yeah.
- [54:27]
Amanda Hirsch
So when you saw Leo on the season, were you like, oh, my God, how was I into him? Like, what were your thoughts?
- [54:35]
Hannah
No, Leah. So Leo was someone who didn't share anything about himself at all. I just knew that he was, like, Jewish and he was, like, taller. So, like, I imagine what he looked like, and he is pretty similar to what I imagined. Just I thought he would have, like, more of, like, a flow. But no, when I saw him, like, I wasn't, like, shocked. I was like, yeah, that's exactly what I imagine.
- [54:54]
Amanda Hirsch
No, not looks wise. Like, the way he was about the money and the Rolex and what everyone's kind of.
- [54:59]
Hannah
He didn't talk about money to me.
- [55:01]
Amanda Hirsch
Really? Okay. Yeah. You didn't, like you. You didn't get the ache from him?
- [55:05]
Hannah
No. Like, sometimes he would say, like, he's goofy and he said some, like, weird sometimes, and I'll be like, what? But no, like, I never got the egg from Leo at all.
- [55:14]
Amanda Hirsch
But when he broke up with you, that moment, I mean, he took accountability for it at the reunion. I don't know how genuine he seemed, honestly. Have to be honest. Like, most of these guys fucking sucked, in my opinion, on this season. Like, everyone on that stage. I was like, ramses, I hear you. Tyler. I don't know. I'm trying to give him grace. What. What is your thoughts on the Tyler situation? Are you.
- [55:36]
Hannah
I don't know. This is. I'm. Me and Ashley aren't super close, but I like, love and respect Ashley so much. We talk here and there, but, like, she's a very private person and their relationship is like, they keep to themselves. And so I knew about the whole kid situation thing, but then when I saw the Internet stuff, I was like, whoa. Like, I didn't know. It was like this insane. But I think they know the truth. And whatever that truth is, they know that. And she's.
- [56:02]
Amanda Hirsch
They're.
- [56:03]
Hannah
They seem happy and they're together. So, like, there's probably so much more that I don't know. But I. I don't go. I'm not like, actually, I saw this on the Internet. Like, let me know if it's true or not, because I'm like, I'll let her be.
- [56:14]
Amanda Hirsch
Like, yeah.
- [56:15]
Hannah
So I think it's crazy, but, like, I don't think we really know everything. Like, we don't know what she knows. We don't know what's true, what's not. So I don't know. It's a crazy situation.
- [56:26]
Amanda Hirsch
I agree. And I have a quick. A quick one for you. Like I said, the. The guys of season slip Sim Pickens. If you had to do a Mary kill with Leo, Nick and Steven, what would you do?
- [56:39]
Hannah
I would marry Leo. I'd. Stephen and I'd kill Nick.
- [56:43]
Amanda Hirsch
You'd marry Leo, you'd see. Okay, so we just have to kill Nick. That's what you're doing. Okay. But it's hard because Leo, you'd rather be with him forever. With Steven, you rather just get it over with because you never have to see him again.
- [56:56]
Podcast Announcer
Yep, that's.
- [56:57]
Amanda Hirsch
That's a good one. Yeah. I mean, you guys, let's take a minute and think about it. The girls the girls got the short end this season. There were a lot of dudes with a lot of problems. The girls were sticking out for each other. Let's talk about the friendship. So obviously you and Marissa, super duper close. It sounds like by the way you're talking, like you were kind of close with Ramses because he was with Marissa. But did you turn on him now that he did that to your girl?
- [57:21]
Hannah
No, I love him. Like, I think Ramses is a wonderful human being. What he did to Marissa is absolutely wrong and he shouldn't have went on the show if he wasn't ready. But at his core, he's a good person. And Norris is my best friend, so I always take her side. But I do like Ramses. I don't dislike Ramses and I think they even have a good relationship.
- [57:40]
Amanda Hirsch
Really?
- [57:41]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [57:42]
Amanda Hirsch
But. Okay, but the thing with Rams is when he told her she's too much, don't you think that my opinion is that she kind of gave that to him on the spoon. Like earlier in their relationship, she was like, guys usually leave me for this. So to me it felt like it was kind of like an excuse to break up with her. Saying that you're too much thing, it exhausts. Exhausts me after a day. To me it felt like he's not that into her. She kind of told him this is what guys usually do. So he kind of rode that. That train. What are your thoughts on it?
- [58:16]
Hannah
I think, yes. I think that Marissa and she has said this and she told him this, that like, she's the type of person that gods love her in the beginning and then a couple months or whatever happens and then they're not into her anymore. And she straight up told Rams just like him a lot. Like, they don't realize. And I think that, yes, I think she's got a big personality. Most women are a lot. Who freaking cares if. If we're a lot. You're not enough. But I don't think that's actually the true reason why he ended it with her. And I think that's why she struggled so much, because she knows that's not the reason, but.
- [58:47]
Amanda Hirsch
Right.
- [58:47]
Hannah
But the real reason is I don't know if we'll like, ever really know or does he even know what it is? I don't know.
- [58:53]
Amanda Hirsch
And you guys, both, you and Marissa said something on stage. She said, and I that man after. So then we learned that she had sex with him after the breakup. And you said something more to off to the side, like. Yeah, I also did. I wanted to see what it was like. So you're saying you met up with Nick after the show, after you broke up?
- [59:15]
Hannah
Yeah. So I think, like, maybe two weeks after the show, we. I invited him over because I found the lesson. Like, I had been ignoring him, and I was just like, let's have a conversation. Let's see what he's really like. When it's not just like, the cameras are in the room. It's, we're done.
- [59:30]
Amanda Hirsch
So you created Contact. You did?
- [59:32]
Hannah
Well. Well, he had blown me up, and then I had. I was like, don't talk to me. And then I was like, actually come over.
- [59:38]
Amanda Hirsch
Was he blowing you up? About what? Did he want the.
- [59:40]
Hannah
No, he wanted to make sure I didn't tell anyone about the note. Yeah.
- [59:44]
Amanda Hirsch
So it wasn't like, I miss you. Let's see if we can do it. Like, he just wanted the note.
- [59:48]
Hannah
The only time he. He would reach out to me, it'd be like, hannah, I love you so much. Like, you're so amazing. I'd be like, I know Nick, but I just need to break. And he'd be like, but okay, but, like, did you tell production about the note?
- [59:58]
Amanda Hirsch
Or.
- [59:58]
Hannah
It'd be like, but okay, like, what are you gonna do about, like, our situation? Are you gonna say, like, anything off camera? Like, it would never. Like, he would never reach out. Like, in a loving way. He would act like he would be. But then it would be like, okay, but, like, what have you told everybody?
- [60:10]
Amanda Hirsch
Wait, so did the first time you told anybody about the note was the reunion? So you didn't tell production then?
- [60:18]
Hannah
I told producer production right before the show came out. Like, we were having, like. We were speaking to them, like, back in, like, August.
- [60:26]
Amanda Hirsch
But Yeah, but we only found out about it now at the reunion.
- [60:29]
Hannah
Yes.
- [60:30]
Amanda Hirsch
So he was probably. Did he blow you up after to, like, be like, why'd you do that to me?
- [60:35]
Hannah
I had him blocked on everything for the past year. Yeah. I had unblocked him for when the show came out.
- [60:39]
Amanda Hirsch
Oh, you had to unblock them so people wouldn't know?
- [60:43]
Hannah
Yeah, he's walked again. But I had to.
- [60:45]
Amanda Hirsch
Why? Why go to that extent? Because you don't want him popping up for you. Like, what's the vibe?
- [60:50]
Hannah
Because, like, the. The amount of, like. Because he's not changed. Like, I've gotten so many hey, girly messages. Like, of, like, hey, Nick invited me over. I walked in, like, he thinks it's Beyonce. He has, like, Love is Blind playing in the background, and he's, like, telling them, like, yeah, and like, that he was like, look. Like, look, that's my ex. Like, it's all Cap. Like, like, he was like, it's all cat.
- [61:11]
Amanda Hirsch
Like, my God, I can't.
- [61:12]
Hannah
Like, it's all Cap. What he's saying and stuff. Like, I've had, like, probably five girls message me, I guess, about it, and I'm like, I don't know what to tell you guys.
- [61:19]
Amanda Hirsch
What do the girls want from you, though? I don't. That I didn't understand.
- [61:22]
Hannah
I think they're like, I guess we see maybe, like, the hate that I'm getting. And they're like, I. I think they feel bad that, like, they see, like, who he really is, and, like, that's not what he's putting forth for the show. And so I feel like they just feel. I don't know why, even girls and Haley girlies. Is it, like, obligation to be like. I just want to let you know.
- [61:44]
Amanda Hirsch
I'm not sure I want to talk about the hate for a second. Why is the Internet taking it to the next level where it's like, you're. You know, where you are getting this hate? Like, you're saying you don't think it is.
- [61:55]
Hannah
I think it's like, trust me, I know. Like, the delivery is insane. And, like, sometimes, like, you. I was so. Like, you just seem. You're in a bad relationship. You're seeing the worst version of yourself. And, like, a lot of things I did weren't acceptable, but at the end of the day, I was just like, what?
- [62:09]
Amanda Hirsch
What do you think wasn't acceptable?
- [62:11]
Hannah
Probably the tone is the main thing. I think that's really coming across is like, that is like, that. I'm just like, this is this, and this is this, and this is this. Like, you could have been a lot, like, kinder about it. But I think what people don't realize is I'm not a very passive person. And I think because he is so passive, people need to realize that being passive doesn't make someone kind. It just.
- [62:32]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. You know that movie? I like to quote it. You know the movie this is 40, I think. Or no. Or maybe it's with Leslie, man. And she's like, you're mean. Just because you don't yell doesn't mean you're not mean. You're mean. She says that to him, and I like to look at that on the flip sometimes. Like, that's true. But also it's true that just because you yell doesn't mean you're mean. Sometimes you're just yelling. I mean, when you were telling him about the socks, like, yeah, it was a little belittling to be like, do you know what a motherfucking sock is, you fucking idiot? But at the same time, like, to me, I'm watching television. I want to be entertained. You are someone interesting to watch on tv. You're in that moment, shocked that this guy has no idea about finances. So you took it to the next level in that moment.
- [63:26]
Hannah
But, yeah, I mean, it was. The thing is, I think with me, it's like, I'm not wrong. It's. I go about it and kind of, like a wrong way. Like, you know what I mean?
- [63:34]
Amanda Hirsch
But you are, like, taking accountability for that.
- [63:37]
Hannah
Yeah, I know everyone's, like, thinking, like, I'm not, like, empathetic, or they expect this apology. And I'm like, do you guys want me to do, like. You want me to shave my head and, like, pull a 2007 Britney for you guys to, like, feel like I'm, like, apologizing enough? I'm having a break. It's just like, I am sorry. Like, I'm very sorry for the way it came out and, like, the way I treated him. It was. It was unkind. And I'm working on it, but, like, it. That's how I felt in the moment. And, like, everything I said, what was the truth? Was it cruel? Yeah, but it was. It was the truth. So.
- [64:05]
Amanda Hirsch
But also, you guys are kind of missing the side of, like. And this is my opinion is, like, you were being a little unkind because you were probably being thrown a lot of mixed signals where this guy is telling you, I love you, but isn't really showing it. And it's probably. We found out at the end of the day, this guy wanted to be famous on the show. So, like, you were frustrated, and that's how it was kind of coming out. You know, I feel like if you were probably in a healthy, happy, you know, feeling like this guy's attracted to you, loves you, all this, and we find out later, like, he wasn't actually into you. I mean, if you're running around saying, she's a grenade, and then you're coming to her face saying, I love you, that I love you is insincere. Because if you love somebody, you wouldn't say that about their appearance.
- [64:54]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [64:56]
Amanda Hirsch
So take a moment, you guys, if you're listening here, I know that a lot of people also love you. Right. Let's not get it wrong. Like, the hate is always so much louder. But know that you do have, you know, a Lot of support. Are you feeling that as well, like, in your DMs and on social?
- [65:10]
Hannah
Yeah, I get a lot of really kind dms. I think a lot of people are scared to, like, comment stuff because they're just gonna get chewed apart. And my DMS are a lot nicer.
- [65:18]
Amanda Hirsch
Of a space to like, oh, my God. How are you doing, though? Emotionally, you're a strong girl, but, like, how are you holding up with that? Was that hard at first?
- [65:28]
Hannah
It was difficult because I know I'm, like, a polarizing person, and I know, like, I'm not. I'm not stupid. I didn't think, like, this is going to come out and I'm going to look like this here. Like, I knew, like, I was on my worst behavior, and so I expected it. But I guess you don't realize until it's you, like, how crazy it is, like, the amount of, like, death threats I get or, like, it. It's actually, like, it's not that serious. I think that's my thing is, like, at first it was hard, and then after you get, like, the same, like, you horrible, disgusting, fat, big, like, a hundred times, you're like, okay. Like, I don't know. I just, like, let them be. I mean, I put myself on the Internet and, like, I put myself on tv. Like, it's what you expect. I think we've gotten to a place in social media, in the world where it's just like, hate breeds, like, likes, and it reads comments, and that's what people like. So I understand that's what it's like, let's leave the meanest comment and see how many likes I get. And so I understand that. So I think for me, yes, it's hard. I wish that wouldn't be the reality. But, like, everyone thinks of the moral place where it's like, well, if she can give it, she's got to take it. And I'm like, whatever. So I just don't look at it. And I think I just let people have their own reality because the only people that really know what truly happened is Nick and I. And if that's your opinion, that's okay. And so I just.
- [66:42]
Amanda Hirsch
And you guys, it's a fudgeing show. You make your own opinions about him, but he wasn't for you. At the end of the day. Are you dating anybody right now?
- [66:52]
Hannah
No, I'm not, actually. That breakup was, like, so rough that I was like, no men for a year. So this past year, I've been completely abstinent. No sex, no boyfriends. No dating.
- [67:02]
Amanda Hirsch
Are you gonna get back in it now?
- [67:04]
Hannah
Yeah, I'm ready now. Yeah, it was just like. Yeah, I was just like, really trying to, like, figure myself out and like, work on what I needed to. And I'm someone who center's men. I'm very like. I decenter them all. They're never like, my attention. In that experiment, I feel like I was centering a man so much that I had, like, come back to myself and, like, so little.
- [67:21]
Amanda Hirsch
And now you're ready. Are you gonna go on, like, dating apps and stuff?
- [67:24]
Hannah
Yeah, I haven't yet. I guess I will, but. Yeah, no, I will. I'm ready to date again. I'm just like. Had to give myself a break.
- [67:31]
Amanda Hirsch
Love is mind is so weird because it takes so long to come out that you just live your life like, completely normally for that year.
- [67:38]
Podcast Announcer
Mm.
- [67:39]
Amanda Hirsch
Not knowing what the shitstorm awaits. You know, that's the worst part.
- [67:45]
Hannah
When I have a doctor's appointment at 1:00, I feel like I can't really do much in the morning because I'm preparing myself for, like, the doctor's appointment.
- [67:50]
Amanda Hirsch
Yeah. There was like a TikTok, like a meme about that or something I saw. Yeah.
- [67:55]
Hannah
Yeah. And so when, like, the show takes a year to come out, I feel like the whole entire year I'm missing.
- [67:59]
Amanda Hirsch
Like, this like, weird mode. Yeah.
- [68:01]
Hannah
Yeah. Where you're just like, what do I do? What do I not do? It's like, even dating, a lot of people weren't dating, not just me, because it's like, how do you do this? Like, hey. Like, I don't know. It's just a weird time. Yeah.
- [68:13]
Amanda Hirsch
So when Nick said a few times that it was blown out of perspective, did you want to die? Because he should have said proportion.
- [68:21]
Hannah
Like, I mean, I. I literally would have corrected him though. People like, no.
- [68:29]
Amanda Hirsch
And he said. I mean, he said it a few times and I was like, oh, my God. Like, he is. You know, there were moments where it's like, nick, hello. Knock, knock, knock. Even at the reunion, he's like, it's blown out of perspective. And I'm like, okay, yeah, that was. That was funny to me. Did it. Look, his eyes were super red. Was he cry? At first I thought he was like, crying and super emotional, but then I don't think he was.
- [68:52]
Hannah
He's probably stressed.
- [68:53]
Amanda Hirsch
Stress, huh?
- [68:54]
Hannah
Yeah. He probably didn't know what was I was gonna say. Yeah.
- [68:57]
Amanda Hirsch
Do you think the tide is gonna turn a little bit when everybody watches the reunion? Are you hoping that it does.
- [69:04]
Hannah
It didn't. No. And that's okay. I think what people are like, thinking is like, I was trying to get like my lick back this. I was like, look what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna air all this, you're gonna change. It's like that's. It's not what it is. I'm not trying to be like, it's Nick versus Hannah or it's like I want everyone to love me. It's just like, no, there's. I just want you to know the truth and whether you believe me or you don't or you don't like me, that's okay. But this is the. The reality.
- [69:29]
Amanda Hirsch
So what's next, Hannah? Would you do another show? Would you do Fucking Trader is the Perfect Couple? Like, are you done with reality tv? What's the vibe?
- [69:39]
Hannah
I would definitely do it. I have no clue what's next. If that comes away, that's awesome. Traders is a fantastic show. I love watching that. But like, yeah, I think, yeah, I think I'm just like, I've got a full time job. Like, I'm working. I don't know if reality TV is coming up or social media or whatever, but I'm just like playing it day by day because it's just a lot.
- [69:57]
Amanda Hirsch
It's a lot. Thank you, Hannah, for coming on and I wish you the best and you look great and I can't wait for you to get into the dating world.
- [70:05]
Hannah
Yeah, I'm excited. That'll be a. Maybe I'll start, like doing like, little story times of like, going on a date. Embarrassing. Yeah.
- [70:11]
Amanda Hirsch
Just be careful what you say.
- [70:13]
Hannah
I'm learning.
- [70:15]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay. Wait. One last question I wanted to ask you, Katie, is she still your bff?
- [70:19]
Hannah
Yeah, we're. We're still friends. Yes.
- [70:21]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay. Do you think she explored going on a date with Nick?
- [70:25]
Hannah
That's a good question. I don't know.
- [70:26]
Amanda Hirsch
We haven't.
- [70:27]
Hannah
We've been really good friends, but we haven't talked after the reunion. She hasn't spoke too much, so maybe.
- [70:32]
Amanda Hirsch
What do you think?
- [70:34]
Hannah
I don't know. Maybe just you need space, I guess. I guess she was really upset about that comment that I made. I'm not really sure. We think we're gonna hang out next week, I don't know. And see what's going on, but I don't know.
- [70:44]
Amanda Hirsch
Well, it was. There was a moment, I'll tell you. When you called her your best friend 18, 000 times when you were drunk after the flappers thing, that was a moment. Where I was like, is Hannah one of those girls that calls everyone their best friend? You know, because you were like, she's my best friend. I know you were drunk, so it's obviously exaggerated.
- [70:59]
Hannah
Yeah.
- [70:59]
Amanda Hirsch
But you were like, she's my best friend in the whole world. Like, I can't believe she did that. And I was like, wait, are they actually best friends?
- [71:06]
Hannah
We're really, really, really close. Were we best friends the whole wide world? And I know for two weeks. No, but it was like, one of those situations where do you go to the bathroom?
- [71:11]
Podcast Announcer
You're like, oh, my God, I met.
- [71:13]
Hannah
Sarah in the bathroom, and she's my best friend. Like, I feel like I was giving that off. Like, yeah, it was crazy. But.
- [71:18]
Amanda Hirsch
So you're saying after the reunion, she needed some time?
- [71:23]
Hannah
Yes.
- [71:24]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay, well, keep us posted on that.
- [71:26]
Hannah
I will. I will.
- [71:27]
Amanda Hirsch
Okay, well, thank you, Hannah. Thanks for coming on.
- [71:30]
Hannah
Yeah, thank you. I had so much fun.
- [71:32]
Amanda Hirsch
Me too. Bye, babe. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcast and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening, and I'll see you next Tuesday.
- [72:05]
Podcast Announcer
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.