Podcast Summary
Not Skinny But Not Fat | Host: Amanda Hirsch
Episode: Lukas Gage: I Wrote This for Attention (September 23, 2025)

Overview of the Episode
In this candid and engaging episode, Amanda Hirsch welcomes actor and writer Lukas Gage back to the podcast. The focal point of their discussion is Lukas’s memoir, I Wrote This for Attention, which delves into his tumultuous childhood, experiences with addiction, trauma, his showbiz journey, and recent infamous marriage. Throughout the conversation, Amanda and Lukas oscillate between deep vulnerability, uproarious humor, and insightful media/industry commentary, providing a nuanced look at fame, family, mental health, and owning your story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

A Warm Reunion & Setting the Tone

• Amanda expresses excitement to have Lukas back, emphasizing she rarely repeats guests unless they’re truly special.
• Lukas jokes about this being his “comeback tour” ([06:21]), referencing a previous less-than-stellar appearance due to being “shell-shocked” from a wild night before.
  • "Oh, God. This is my... this is my comeback tour." (Lukas Gage, 06:21)

About Lukas’s Book: I Wrote This for Attention

• Amanda genuinely raves about the memoir, noting its depth, vulnerability, and writing quality ([08:07]), and admits she took time off watching TV just to finish it.

  • "I wouldn't have expected just how good it is." (Amanda Hirsch, 08:04)
  • "The way this was written. And you didn't hold back, Lukas." (Amanda Hirsch, 09:17)

• Lukas reveals the inspiration for the provocative title, joking that all actors write for attention but also highlighting that the process was cathartic and helped him understand himself better ([09:57], [10:28]).

  • "I didn't make this book to be inspirational. I really wrote it to be honest and to just put everything out there." (Lukas Gage, 09:29)

Raw Childhood and Family Dynamics

• Lukas opens up about early exposure to drugs, starting with over-the-counter medications at age 12 and harder drugs by 14 ([11:42]-[12:02]).
  • "By probably 14, I had done every. Everything. There was nothing else to do." (Lukas Gage, 11:56)
• Discussion of opioid prevalence in San Diego and the deep impact of his brother Corey's addiction ([12:03]-[12:47]).
  • "I think by the time I graduated high school, eight kids had overdosed in our grade." (Lukas Gage, 12:57)

Wilderness Camp, Trauma & Forgiveness

• Lukas details being forcibly sent to a wilderness rehab camp as a teen and the trauma and resentment it fueled, but ultimately says he doesn't blame his parents ([13:54]-[15:55]).
  • "We punish people that need help. Like, it's completely backwards." (Lukas Gage, 14:17)
• He reflects on a complicated but loving relationship with his mother, and the ways generational differences impact parenting and healing.

Molestation and the Complexity of Identity

• Lukas bravely discusses being sexually assaulted at an acting camp as a child, not grasping its effect until years later ([20:12]-[21:00]).
  • "I didn't even talk about it till three years ago." (Lukas Gage, 20:28)
• He notes the complexities and stigma around male survivors and how humor became his defense mechanism ([27:30]-[28:40]).
  • “For me, that was a way to gain my power back and use a little bit of humility to gain my own narrative of that story…” (Lukas Gage, 28:08)

Why Write a Memoir Now?

• The 2023 writers’ and actors’ strikes gave Lukas unplanned downtime, which he channelled into writing. He’d already been selling screenplays but found memoir writing uniquely honest and cathartic ([29:12]-[30:16]).
  • “It was during the strike… I’m insane. I don’t know how to sit still.” (Lukas Gage, 29:12)

Structure and Reception of the Book

• The memoir is structured as interconnected essays rather than strictly chronological narrative, with Lukas intentionally including both his Hollywood stories and his difficult past ([31:38]-[32:04]).
  • "I sold it as a collection of essays... but I do still view it as a collection of essays." (Lukas Gage, 31:49)

Sexuality, Coming Out, and Family Support

• Lukas talks frankly about his early, confused hypersexuality and eventual coming out experiences. He describes how his family, particularly his brothers and mother, were always supportive ([34:29]-[34:49]).
  • "My brothers were incredible and my mom... I'm very grateful for how easy that was for me." (Lukas Gage, 34:49)

Cultural Shifts, Honesty & Hollywood

• Both marvel at the shifting landscape of public honesty in Hollywood, discussing figures like Julia Fox and Charlie Sheen as refreshing for their unapologetic openness ([35:38]-[37:20]).
  • "Ownership is the sexiest thing in the world." (Lukas Gage, 37:20)

Mental Health, BPD Diagnosis and Stigma

• Lukas breaks down his diagnosis with borderline personality disorder (BPD), received just before his high-profile marriage ([38:28]-[39:07]).
  • "I have a lot of resentment on that and try my best to be a better friend and family member." (Lukas Gage, 38:22)
• Discussion of DBT therapy and the importance of finding the right mental health treatment; touches on medication missteps leading to manic periods ([41:36]-[42:19]).

Navigating the Hustle: Starting Out and Scrappiness

• Lukas recounts moving to LA alone at 18, living in a motel, and the resourcefulness that led to his first breaks ([52:16]-[55:10]).
  • "I just literally got a motel that was doing a monthly stay." (Lukas Gage, 52:57)
• Anecdotes about faking resumes, taking cues from reality TV (Tiffany “New York” Pollard), and having luck sometimes emerge right out of mistakes or impulsive choices ([54:24]-[56:38]).

Showbiz Realities: Ambition, Auditioning, and Managing Jealousy

• Lukas is candid about being content as a “working actor” rather than obsessing over A-list fame, joking about being “in five minutes of your shows” ([58:18]-[59:00]).
• He acknowledges the competitiveness and envy that is inherent to Hollywood, but asserts with time he’s learned “what’s meant for you is meant for you” ([61:49]-[62:51]).
  • "The competitive anxiety of being in LA is never going to go away.... Competing is what makes me get shit done." (Lukas Gage, 61:52)

Infamous Marriage: Public Scrutiny, Identity, and No Regrets

• The duo discusses the much-publicized Chris Appleton marriage on The Kardashians, how it was tangled with Lukas’s desire to shut down queerbaiting speculation, and his mixed feelings on its legacy ([65:07]-[66:52]).
  • "Part of it was like, yeah, shut the up. Like, what? I'm gonna be so on your face and annoying about it because you guys are on my tip about it for so long..." (Lukas Gage, 65:07)
  • "But no regrets. Hashtag no regrets. For real." (Lukas Gage, 66:52)
• Explores how being on psychiatric meds may have contributed to his detachment during the marriage, and how coming off the meds led to greater self-clarity ([68:33]-[69:00]).

Industry Hustle, Recovery, and Book Promotion

• Amanda and Lukas discuss Hollywood AA meetings (“It’s like, don’t talk about Fight Club,” [51:14]), the continued hustle required to book acting work, and Lukas's self-promotion efforts for his book ([51:28]-[71:49]).
  • “I am sending it to everybody. I am dming random book talkers who tell me I don't want to read your book.” (Lukas Gage, 71:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I didn’t make this book to be inspirational. I really wrote it to be honest and to just put everything out there. Take it or leave it.” (Lukas Gage, 09:29)
• “Ownership is the sexiest thing in the world.” (Lukas Gage, 37:20)
• “My favorite critique is like the White Lotus, the marriage, the viral video. Those are the most boring chapters. I agree.” (Lukas Gage, 31:14)
• “I have a lot of resentment on that and, and. And try my best to be a better friend and family member. I think that's probably the biggest thing where I wish I. I could have.” (Lukas Gage, 38:22)
• “What is meant for you is meant for you. I love that.” (Lukas Gage, 62:51)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [08:04] Amanda praises the book’s writing and depth
• [09:29] Lukas discusses being “too raw and too honest”—and why
• [11:42] Lukas recounts early drug use
• [13:54] The wilderness “camp” and family trauma
• [20:12] Addressing molestation and family impact
• [29:12] The book’s origin during the writers’ strike
• [34:29] Coming out to his family
• [37:20] “Ownership is the sexiest thing in the world.”
• [38:28] Discussion of BPD diagnosis
• [52:57] Moving to LA, living in a motel
• [58:07] Lukas on wanting to be a working actor
• [61:41] Dealing with jealousy and ambition in Hollywood
• [65:07] The public narrative and motivation behind his marriage
• [66:52] “No regrets” about Kardashian wedding
• [71:26] The undignified hustle of promoting a memoir

Final Thoughts
The episode is a masterclass in balancing humor with vulnerability, as Lukas disarms heavy topics with wit while refusing to hide from their messy realities. From addiction, mental health, and industry hustle to a legacy of family love and showbiz perseverance, he and Amanda create a conversation that feels honest, riveting, and, true to the book’s title, impossible to ignore.

Book: I Wrote This for Attention (available for pre-order; official release Oct 14, 2025)