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Amanda Hirsch
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Welcome back to the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Hirsch, and I still can't believe that I get to chat with some of my favorite stars on my very own podcast, where you'll feel like you're just talking shit with your best friends in your living room. Okay, I'm doing an Ask Me Anything podcast today, which we all know that I flip. And I don't know if I publicly share this, but I usually fucking hate this because I'm like, well, no, you guys know this about me. I hate when podcast hosts ask you to ask them what to ask their guest, which I don't do. Okay, because that's not your job. But. But then this is like, ask me so I can answer you with which that always feels super self important to me. Even the Ask Me anything's on Instagram. So, like, ask me. Ask me because I'm. You care so much. I don't know. It feels very self important. But I'm gonna do it anyway because doing the questions on Instagram gets tricky because you wanna answer a lot and then you have. Oh my God, I have a. An Israeli friend that calls them couscous stories. Do you know what couscous is? It's this little small, like, kind of like rice, but way smaller. So when you have a gazillion stories, she calls it couscous stories. Anyway, I thought that was funny. And I always have cusco stories. So if I do a lot of questions, then it's like never ending. And then I can't post any other content. So we're gonna have a dedicated podcast today to answering some of your questions because guess what? You guys think that I'm like, so not mysterious. Things we need to talk about more. Pretty mysterious, because I think a lot of people, like, in the public have this thing and I might have some of it too, which is like, somehow you think that I share everything. Because I do, in a way. It's like, here's what I'm eating for breakfast, and here's Noah's first day of school. And here's this. But like, there's a lot of things that I don't share. Not on purpose. I'm not like this. I shared this. I don't. But it just kind of happens organically where, you know, it's the way Taylor Swift makes you all think you know her so well. Meanwhile, she's just singing about a breakup. You don't even know who it's about. So that's me, I'm Taylor Swift. That's the conclusion anyway. So we picked some of your questions that I'm going to answer and I'll probably go all over the place. I know myself. So let's start with a good one. If you took yourself, your younger self out for coffee, what would you tell her? I would tell her to keep being her Delulu as self and that she was right all along when she was working odd jobs and in the back of her mind there was a voice telling her, you're meant to do something bigger. Queen. It wasn't just a voice and she wasn't psycho. Not that anyone was telling me this to my face, but I really did. When I was working odd jobs, you know, and people would be. And I remember I used to say this, which is so embarrassing. People used to be like, what do you do? Or even people like, I'd apply for an apartment. Like, we'd put an application for an apartment. The. The landlord would be like, profession. I'd be like, I'm a bookkeeper right now. But, but, but that doesn't represent me. That's not like, who I am. You know, I'm. And it's like, okay, let me just write down what the fuck you're doing with your life, you fucking weirdo. But it's not weird because I think, although everyone has their journey, and I always say this, there are the sleep in the car people. I was never that, but I was the like, do what you need to do to make money and to like, be able to pay for rent and do what you need to do. But like, always have that yearning for what you actually want to do and always put some eggs in that basket. Like all the Delulu shit that I did along the way, if it was. You guys know this. Lying to get an agent in Israel, by the way, here, I didn't lie. Lying to get an agent, doing little, like, acting jobs, you know, starting to write a book at some point in my life, sending headshots to agencies, even though it says do not solicit. I was like, sorry, soliciting. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? My gorgeous pixelated photo I printed out from my computer. So I would tell her, like, you're. You're not crazy, you're on the right track. That voice in your head telling you you're meant to do something bigger. Listen to it. And you know what? Sometimes listen to it more. Maybe you should have been more sleep in your car. Even though everything did work out the way that it was supposed to. I would tell myself, like, a little bit of advice. I always had to, like, put a few eggs in that basket. No, babe, you could have put more. Don't fret. You could have put more. And I look back and I think, that's it. It's like, I minored in theater. Like, I was always doing like the bare minimum to try to achieve the dream where I look back and I'm like, you could. You could have done more. Like, who's to say what would have happened if I did that? But it's okay to put a little bit more effort. I think I have a really good self defense mechanism in my body and I think I. I do things so I don't get hurt. So it's like if I put a few eggs and nothing happens. All good. If you put all your eggs and nothing happens, you're fucked. But maybe you're not fucked. And that is a risk I would have been willing to take. How do I book my amazing podcast? This question happens a lot. I love that you guys are interested in inside baseball, because I am too. Like, I love to know from celebrity guests how you know the back end of producing works and directing and, and acting and auditioning. So I get that you guys want to know. And I do see a lot of times people think that people pay for. For podcast guests or for TV appearances. Like, if you're doing a late show. Let me break it to you. Nobody pays for a podcast guest. Okay? Nobody. I may have gotten a few requests from time to time, be like, can you pay for, like, my glam or my travel? And I'll be like, no. Like, this is an opportunity for you as much as it is for me. So that's how press works. It's a whole new world. Okay? Pr, the way that works is a celebrity or an actor or reality star. They are meant to promote themselves, their show, their movie. So podcasts, really fun and really honored to be part of it, have become part of the press journey. It's like they'll come here, then they'll go do Drew Barrymore or. Or they will come from Kelly Clarkson and at night, go to watch what happens live. And this is their pit stop. It makes me feel so proud and so honored to be part of that press journey. But that's how it works today. A lot of it is incoming pitches from their PR people, which would be like, are you interested to have so and so on? They're coming out with this movie and. And it's a hard decision to Make. Cuz it is a decision that at the end of the day I make. Like, I don't work for a TV network that's making me have guests. So it comes down to like, okay, I like this person. I don't. I. I think they're great. I want to learn from them, or I don't know them, but I'm like, whoa, they, they seem really interesting or they have a big following. And so it's a hard decision to make. I don't even know if I make the right decision all the time. It's only, you know, when the episode comes out, I'm like, oh, that was really good. Or I do it and I'm like, should I have done that? Or I say no to someone and then I see another podcast dude, that person. I'm like, oh my God, should I have said yes? So it's a constant, integral part of all this. But in my case, it is all done by me. The booking of the guests. Like, we don't have bookers or anything like that. And I really like to keep that pipeline individualized and personal because that's how I started and I made relationships with all these people and with these PR people and, and with the guests themselves. And I just love how this podcast started and how everything was so organic and beautiful. So even though I'm trying to, what's it called, like, hand things off more, and now I have Regina who kind of helps me and I put kind of backtrack Regina who helps me, it's still hard for me to like, give things over because I really love to be a part of it and I love. And I will never kind of let that go because I think that's such a huge part of why this succeeded, if I may say so myself. Oh, or by the way, if I am obsessed with a guest and then I can reach out, try to track down their PR DM them, like, whatever needs to be done. Which I know you guys love that. Let me say one thing about my listeners and my followers. You guys love my advice of like, putting yourself out there. DMing, if need be, emailing that sometimes some of you will like take my advice to the max and be like, sorry, I emailed you 10 times about my business or whatever, but you said to do that. And I'm like 10 I. But what I mean is I do believe in putting yourself out there, reaching out. But of course you do with elegance, you do with class. You play the long game. Would you ever do reality tv? Listen, you guys know my opinions I. If you asked me 10 years ago when I was dying to be discovered in any way, I would have been like, yes, fucking put me. Blast me anywhere. But I think now, after being a fan of reality TV for so long and seeing the inner workings, meeting some of these stars, seeing how they're lifted up, taken down, seeing the toxic fandoms of Bravo and Love island, right now that's happening, I would be a little bit, I would be too scared to put myself through that, to put my family through that. Like, I see how it can go. And yeah, it could be really great for some people, but you're giving a lot. Like, you are taking a huge risk to your personal life, to your business, to put yourself out there. And I am really proud. And I think I don't necessarily say that to myself enough. Like, I started my Instagram and my podcast just being a nobody, like somebody that wants to do this. And I didn't have reality tv. So a lot of times you get a platform from reality tv. But if I have a platform, yes, it could get bigger, but it could also. Sometimes I don't want that. You guys wouldn't believe me, but, like, so many people are like, you're almost at a million. I'm like, like, it scares me. I literally will go in and delete deactiv followers. I don't want to have more followers. I want to have like a community of like, people that want to be there. If I could control it, they would all be like, nice people that are interested, obviously. Like, I post my kids and stuff. I, I, it's not like I'm like more people, you know, I'm more like, let's just be, be cute and tiny the way that we are. So I don't know, I think that it would have to be very specific and something that like, toxicity can come out of it, which there doesn't remain a lot. I wouldn't mind being like a friend of and just coming in and being like, this is what I think about Yalls drama. But I'll be like, no, I won't say Lala because she fudgeing gets, she gets it. But yeah, I don't know. I don't know if that's for me. I'd be too scared. I'm a pussy. Okay? I'm pussy when it comes to that. What's something from your childhood or tradition that you want to pass on? Not many traditions, I feel like, because I grew up with a single mom, for us, it was kind of like day by day, second by Second, like, one mom, three daughters. How do you manage that with traditions? Like, yeah, we did holidays, we did whatever. But I say this till this day, like, we weren't going to pumpkin patches on the weekend, but the way that my mom raised me, and that's something that I am utilizing and passing on to my kids, is just remembering, like, the end of the day with everything we have going on and all the things you can offer your kids, what they really need is just your undying, unwavering love, support, and building them up and making them feel confident in this world, which today has so many, like, negating point of views. Like, I remember when. When this was coming from my mom, then I'd be like, oh, just lift them up all day, tell them they're amazing. But now all these reels pop up for me, telling me I'm doing it wrong. Like, don't tell them they're that amazing, because then they won't know how to handle failure. So now I'm like, I've told Noah since he was born that he's smart every day. And then now he'll be like, right, mom? Cause I'm so smart, so smart. And I'll be like, I'll think of that reel and I'll be like, you solved that problem correctly. This is what the reels do to you. You guys, when do I find time for myself? Here's the thing. Here's the tea. Although this job is 24 7, and I'll be the first to say that. That it is demanding and it is all hours and it's no days off, it is also the hours that you choose. Of course, if I have a podcast recording or something booked, but I think that mostly I can choose my own hours. So if I want to be with my kids, if I want to. Nope, don't want to be with them. If I. If I choose to not be online for a few hours or if I, you know, want to take the afternoon off, like, everything will be fine. Everything will. Everything will be managed. So I really do find it easy, I will say, to maintain the balance. Of course, there's so many times I wish I was more present. I wish I was never on my phone when I'm with them. And I find myself sometimes on my phone, I fucking hate it. I find myself sometimes waiting for Monday so that Noah can go to camp so I won't have to handle two kids on my own. Like, I feel bad about those moments. So I'm like, these are the moments that I'm going to miss. And I hate fucking living for the Monday or the Friday. Like, I really want all the tips on how to live in the moment. But I will say that it is normal to feel that way. Like, if you feel that way, don't be shamed. Don't feel bad that you feel that way. I do feel bad, though. I feel bad fucking all the time. If you're a mom, you know, one thing is for sure. Mom guilt is real, okay? Mom guilt, you feel it all the time. You yell at them, you feel bad, you didn't say something, you feel bad, you said no to something. You feel bad. Like, you say yes something, you're spoiling them. Like, you just feel bad all the time. And the guilt is just real all the time. But I have to say, like, it is an interesting question because I'm like, oh, I can find the balance. But in that balance is there's really only work and kids. I don't really make it a point to find time for me. And if it's time for me, then it's like watching Love island or catching up. Like, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. Am I supposed to get a massage? I don't know. I don't know how to just kind of unwind in that way. So there's a dating question. Let's see if my 15 your married self or with the same person self can help you how to chat up a qari in a grocery store. I would never dating advice you would give a single friend. So here's the thing. When I was single, I remember what I would get so upset about. So I feel you. Especially in New York. I don't know if this happens everywhere. I would move, by the way. That's the advice I'd give the single friend move. It's not happening here. I would like make eye contact with a cute guy on the subway, right? Be like, okay, he's looking at me, he's into me, I'm into him. It's all happening. Then he gets off. I know there's like a missed connections page on, like, what is that? De moi does it. But also there used to be on like Craigslist hit on me. Which today maybe women would say, I'll hit on you. But I would have that all the time. Like, I would have like a guy looking at me. I'm looking at him. Nothing at a bar that would happen. Or, or even I would know somebody in my neighborhood that, like, we were both. Nothing would happen. Nobody would have the balls to. To do something about it. Maybe today I would be like, amanda, you have nothing to lose. Fucking go for it. So maybe that's what I would tell your single friend. Also move. I really do feel like there is this phrase in Hebrew that says, you change your place, you change your luck. And that was kind of my, like, I know you guys are like, you're so hot, you're so smart. I'm sure you had all the guys all the time. Something weird. No, I didn't. No, I didn't have all the guys all the time. And I was like, if anything, I'll just move to Israel and find a guy there. So even though I, I didn't actually go to Israel for that, I did end up meeting my husband there. And I feel like a lot of people, my sister's friend just did the same thing. Single for so many years, she moved, she found someone. Sometimes you change your place, you change your luck and your chances of meeting someone that that's maybe more for you. We'll be right back after the break. So right before I gave birth, not actually right before, but leading up to it, I was way more organized this second time. So getting myself all prepared with the supplements that I will need for after I give birth since, you know, your body goes through so many hormonal changes, was really important. Nutrafol was one of those supplements. Neutrful has a postpartum formula and it is breastfeeding friendly. So I started taking Neutrophil postpartum formula right away. And I really feel the difference this time. Like I feel like my hair, knock on wood, didn't go through that kind of shedding phase. Neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. You can feel great about what you're putting in your body since Nutrival hair growth supplements are backed by by peer reviewed studies and NSF Contents certified the gold standard and third party certification for supplements. See Thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering my listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com and enter the promo code not skinny10. Find out why Nutrafol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand and nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code is not skinny10. That's nutrafol.com promo code, not skinny10. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack sponsor. 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Right now IQ Bar is offering my special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ bar products plus get free shipping. To get your 20% off, text not skinny to 64,000 text not skinny to 64,000 to get 20% off that's not skinny, text that to 64,000. That's the number. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for deets. Hi friends, I'm Cameron Rogers, mental health advocate, mom of two, content creator and host of Conversations with Cam. This podcast is dedicated to having honest conversations, prioritizing your well being and reminding you that no matter what you're feeling, you are not alone. We'll discuss mental health maintenance, the ups and downs of motherhood, the trials and tribulations of life, and have a lot of fun along the way. Whether you are knee deep in diapers or just trying to keep your sanity intact, this podcast is for you. Expect laughs, maybe a few tears, and hopefully some breakthroughs along the way. Make sure to subscribe and tune in for new episodes of Conversations with Cam every Wednesday morning. And we're back. Deets on your journey with Zoloft. So Zoloft is an ssri. Don't ask me for inhibitor. Here's my journey. I used to, back in the day, not have anxiety. I don't know what that's like, but before I was 17 years old, I didn't know what that was. There was no worry in my mind. There was no fear in my brain. I would do anything and everything, including drugs, including getting in people's cars. Like I should say thank you that I'm alive And one day when I decided that I'm going to study abroad, it was such an interesting thing because I wanted to study abroad in a Spanish speaking place, because I loved Spanish. So this is where I wanted to study abroad, you guys. I wanted to study abroad in Buenos Aires in Argentina. And the reason I wanted to study abroad there is because Argentinian men are hot. And I used to meet them in Miami when I went with my friend and lied that I was older, but I was getting in the clear. Fake IDs. What's up? I met a Martin. I met the Sebastian. And I was like, I'm going there. I'm meeting my husband there. I guess I always knew that, like, I should be with someone not American. I don't know why. So that was my plan. Spanish speaking country. I wanted to go to Argentina. And then when push came to shove and I need to figure out my credits, it was like, ugh, they don't have a program that the credits, blah, blah. So I was like, ugh, like, what other Spanish speaking countries? Spain. Fine. Barcelona. Cool. Little did I know, they spread bo Catalan in Barcelona. Not Spanish. No, it's not the same language. It's motherfucking Catalan. Okay? I get there. I'm like, what are you saying? Are you speaking Portuguese? Oh, what? Like, imagine arriving, being ready to speak Spanish, and like, they don't speak Spanish. That was a bummer. And a lot of things happened on that, I'm assuming, first few weeks of my study abroad that just were kind of weighing down on me. It was like I chose to stay in this, like, dorm. The dorm ended up being literally on top of a brothel. Like, we heard people. There were no windows. The food didn't agree with my stomach. I was either constipated or diarrheaing. There was like a shared shower. I wasn't doing well. And I think I didn't know what that meant for me. So it kept on weighing down and weighing down until one day I stopped in the middle of like Las Olas Boulevard and felt like I was dying. Little did I know it was a panic attack. And they took me to the hospital there. They started doing blood tests. My blood splattered on the wall. It was just literally so bad that then my whole study abroad was one big panic attack day in, day out. Not like a panic that goes away. Like just a constant panic attack. The thing I regret most is not going home. But I was always raised in the mindset of, like, you don't quit, you finish something out, blah, blah, blah. So that's when my anxiety started. Now I was started on Zola then, but I think because I started it on such a like SOS moment, I was disgusted that I was on medication. I was like, me, Amanda, like, no, I'm this carefree. Like this is not anxiety, this is something else. I'm having daily heart attacks. Like whatever I thought was going on took me so many years to come to terms with the fact that it is anxiety. And only when I came to terms with the fact that it is anxiety, which you could do in so many ways, right? You could go to a therapist. You can actually get, do the MRIs, do the CT scans, like get, get cleared by a doctor. So my relationship with Zoloft started being a positive one once I accepted the fact that I, what I'm struggling with is anxiety and that this little pill could help. And once I heard people say if you were diabetic you would take medication. You know, that's kind of how I started looking at it. Then my relationship shifted from why am I taking this? This isn't me, this isn't Amanda, me, carefree, you know, do anything and everything. Kind of girl needs to take this to thank you. Thank you for helping me make my days not debilitating. And I think only once you've had debilitating days will you say, okay, I'm gonna try this thing that might help me. So what happened was in Barcelona, I started taking it, but hated it. Try to wean myself off. It was really bad. And I think only when I started taking it for the second time in my life, which was when I moved back to New York in 2015 and the move was much harder than I anticipated. And I remember getting to a point of I'll do anything, so of course I'm willing to try this. And I think I wasn't scared to take it, cuz I already took it. And I knew that it didn't affect me negatively at least and I gave it a real shot. And I think that at this point I'm like, is it placebo? Is it whatever? I feel good, knock on wood. Like, thank you God, thank you Zoloft. And obviously comforts me to know that so many people in the world are on it, so many people I look up to are on it. It doesn't make you less than, it doesn't make you different. You're actually different at this point if you're not. And I'm just thankful for every day that I feel good. Because if you've been at a place where you don't feel good before. And I'm not talking about a cold or a runny nose, but I'm talking about, like, really bad with anxiety. Or if you suffer from depression, you're willing to take the med that works. Like, again, you have diabetes, you have an ulcer. Whatever you have, you're going to take a med, right? So my. I think the journey to getting comfortable with it is that, like, knowing you need medication and it could help you with whatever problem you have, then take the medication, in my opinion. And now I look at it like, call me little baby. Whereas I used to be like, can't believe me. Carefree Me needs it. Okay, but you're not carefree anymore. Like, deal with it. Did he. Do I ever get imposter syndrome? I used to say no. And I think it. It goes both ways. Like, no. A lot of the times I'm, like, meant to be here, bitch. Thank you. Which goes with the dulu that I was talking about. But I think that a lot of times now, yes, I think it sucks. When was I the most confident in my life? When I was, like, you know, 15 and 20 pounds overweight. Like, I just feel like as we get older, our confidence dwindles because we know more, we're exposed to more. But I think, yeah, sometimes. But you know what? I think that my imposter syndrome is like, oh, my God, I can't believe it. Like, I can't believe it. But in this really grateful way, which I actually don't want that to disappear. Like, I think owning your shit and saying, I deserve this is one thing, but I. I think also being humble and saying, I can't believe this is happening to me, or, I can't believe this guest is coming on the podcast, or I can't believe I have this opportunity. I think I don't look at that as a negative thing. Like, with my live show, I was like, no one's gonna come now. One ticket will sell. I'll need to, like, say, I have Covid. And then it's selling out in, you know, less than half an hour. I think that's imposter syndrome. Cause it's like. I mean, I, like, some people were like, of course. Like, people want to see you. And I'm like, me. But to me, it's more like, for the live show. Okay, I know how you show up on Instagram. I know how you show up on the podcast, but this is something new, and I think it's always scary to do something new. How is Lenny sleep? Not great. I'll be honest, I did say I remember I went on Kylie Kelsey's pod and I said, what's her thing? Not gonna lie. Not gonna lie. So not gonna lie. It's fudgeing. Annoying. People talk about their kids sleep and say their kid is sleeping through the night. So I'm not gonna lie. Lenny is not. And I am okay with it. And here is why. I have a son already. He's five now, or almost, and he sleeps through the night. And I don't remember the daily struggles and how much I cried and tossed and turned and sleep trained and stopped sleeping and regression and what regression is it just for him to turn 3? I think it was. And he slept through the night. He went to sleep at night, he woke up in the morning. And if he crawls into our bed, then I fucking love it. And if he doesn't, then he doesn't. And today he even goes to the living room by himself. And it even makes me sad. Today I woke up and he was in the living room playing. And I'm like, you didn't come to my bed. So time passes. Like I said, it passes so fucking quickly that if Lenny needs to wake up once a night or twice a night and he needs the comfort or he needs the bottle, then I'm okay with it. For now. Watch me flip and motherfucking sleep train in a second. I did, by the way, try to sleep train him. What month was that? Because there was like, I'm talking like, if your baby's waking up every two hours, then, you know, and they're in an age where you can do that, then yes. But if it's once or twice a night and I could do one time me one time husb. Or if it's just when he's not feeling well, I'm okay with it. I'm, I'm, I'm okay with it. What is something you never thought you would do as a mom? Oh my God, so many things. I judged so many moms. I used to be like, I would never like, give my kid whatever they want. I would tell them like, no. And they would just listen to me. I would not ask them what they want to eat. I, I would tell them, oh my God, I wish there was like a TikTok transition from for how pathetic I can be. I literally thanked Noah for going to pee the other day. Like, it was like, mommy, I had to pee. So I went, thank you, Noah, thank you. Because moms know even if your kid is high trained, sometimes you're like do you have to pee? I see you're touching. Do you have to pee? No. Are you sure you don't have to pee? So it's like I'm thanking him for going to pee. I thank him for taking a bite of pizza. I'm like running after him with the ice cream. Another lick. So, so fucking pathetic. I never thought I would be. I thought I would be like, you don't want to eat, starve? Not me. I'm like, pizza. Running after him with pizza as if it's motherfucking zucchini. I never thought I would be that way. And I am. Okay, five more minutes. I never thought it would be any. I'd be like, he'll, he'll get it. I'll just look at him and tell him, no, we're leaving the park. Get here. I'd come. Five more minutes. Noah, the alarm. Okay, seven. And by the way, I never lie to him. Which, do I deserve an award? Like when I put five minutes for him, I let him scroll. I let him pick it. I want him to like, believe me, that's really important to me. Thinking about moving out of nyc, I always have this because listen, I do live in a three bedroom apartment, but even that is getting small. It's getting small for us. Things are pouring over. I'm in a pol. It feels like I'm in Polly pocket. Like I want more space like a motherfucker. I want a house, I do. But I want that house to be in New York. Now then people would say a brownstone. So a couple things. Brownstones are a gazillion dollars and they are like five floors because they're built up, so it's not like ideal. But I need a salulu because, you know, we can only make it so long in this apartment. And I don't want to be like, oh, suffocating. But like, is my desire to move out of New York because of anything else than space? No, I love New York. Yes, I think you can raise kids in New York. But yeah, sometimes like, it's again, the space thing. Like, I would want more space for them to run around, you know, that kind of thing. But I don't know where I would go. I don't know where I would go. Where, where, where should I go? What's my biggest pet peeve with guests? Do they have any? Oh, when they don't post. Is that the only thing? Okay, when they don't post. Here's the thing. Imagine you get a pitch from someone's pr. Okay, now you're tracking on how this happens. Well, you have so and so on and they're so excited. La la la. And then you're like, okay, I'll have so and so on. That's nice. And then they don't post. So listen now, when it's told to me, they don't post on social media post. Or I know that they don't. Or you know what? I even go as far as to understand, I'm like, maybe they don't like the way they look that day. Maybe it's like if I go on a podcast, by the way, and I talk my ass off for an hour and there are a bunch of clips of me saying wild shit that I'm okay with saying. I just don't want to see and I don't want to hear it. That I also understand. But that's why I give you the option of a pic. Here's a pic of us. So cute. But obviously, like at the end of the day, I. It is the most flattering to me and I feel the best when the, when the guests had a good time on the podcast and enjoyed being on and wants to share it and feels excited about it. So it is a bummer when they don't. And I also, like I said, do feel like it's like a two way street. It's like, I'm so excited you're on and it's great for me, but it's also great for you because you're doing press. So it is kind of a bummer when they don't share. And it could turn me off of someone if I felt like the vibe. No, if I felt that the vibe was really there, you know, I'd be like, oh. And, and I know they're seeing, I know they're seeing the tags. It's another thing if like they're not on Instagram, they don't see the tags. You can press share. It's not that hard. Do I have another puppy? Yeah, but with New York I kind of get it. With New York, I get it when they're like, we've had people be like an hour late and then it's like click clock. But, but, but I do get the like 15 minutes here or there because it's New York and we know like the traffic is fucking terrible. Anything else? Listen, yeah, that sucks because you'll get something really good, really good conversation, a really good moment. And we, at least the way we handle things is like, we'll always respect their wishes. Like, I'm not a New York Times journalist. Like I'm not here for journalistic integrity. Like no, I can't touch it. If you said it, I want you to feel comfortable. If you didn't, then okay, we'll do it. But sometimes it could really sting. We'll be right back after the break. I just had a meeting with my business manager yesterday and he told me how much I spend a year on food but it made me realize like maybe I should eat more meals in or realize that money spent on food does count. 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Is because I felt like, yes, I'm doing a lot, but there is also a lot that I just say no to off the cuff because it's out of my comfort zone or because it's scary or because whatever. And I just wanted to make myself give those things an extra thought. I'm not saying say yes to everything. I'm saying the things that you would automatically say no. Think about it for another second. Think about maybe, like, okay, this isn't, you know, easy peasy, lemon squeezy. You're gonna have to make a little bit more of an effort. You're gonna have to get out of your comfort zone. You're gonna have to do something a little. But do it, do it, do it. And I did, like, the live show. I've been saying no to live show for so long, and by the way, I got asked a lot of times, like, why, why? Why do you say that? Like, gives you the ick. And it was probably mostly out of, like, fear. Like, fear. Like, will people come? Will it be good? Like, and. And I think it's like saying yes, and then we'll figure it out. But, yeah, I have to say, if you're thinking of doing a year of yes, just know some things you'll say yes to and you are taking a risk, and that risk might not pay off. But I think through that, you also learn. And it's like, okay, that's another learning experience of saying yes to something that maybe I shouldn't have and why shouldn't I have and should I have known it, or am I just learning it now? And if I'm learning it, what can I take from this experience to the next? So I think, yes, I'm definitely going to bring it into 2026. What's something you used to hate or talk shit about and now you love or use? Did I ever talk shit about Botox? I probably did. I probably was like, every girl in the Bachelor gets Botox and their face doesn't move. And I like faces that move. For sure. Said that. And also, I still think that if you're 25 or 22, you probably don't need it. So here's the thing. This is only, like, my third or fourth time doing it, and every time that I. Because I don't feel like it expires, and I need to go and I was pregnant for four years. But I think that, like, it's such magic that it's crazy. It's like the craziest thing. Like, you can put skin care on every day and never fucking see result. Botox the next fucking day. Don't let them lie to you. It is not the next day. You start seeing results and you're like, what is this sorcery? It's actually crazy. What's the most Hollywood thing that I do? I would say my Uber. My Uber preferences. Because there are friends of mine that make fun of me for this. My family is like, who do you think you are? And I'm like, if I don't want a Toyota Camry picking me up, I don't have to. Okay, I don't want. I don't want a Toyota Camry. Sorry. If you have a Toyota Camry. I've had a Toyota Camry in my life. But, yeah, that's the most Hollywood thing I do. Just about my Ubers. I'm pretty specific. I don't like commuting in New York, getting to and from the studio. It could be like 45 minutes an hour. I want to sit in a comfortable car. I'm very specific. I want the air conditioning on tape. The driver left the windows open. I was like, this is loco. It's 80% humidity, sir. But then I'm such a pussy about asking. I'm like, okay, stop back here. So anyway, that's the most Hollywood thing. Is there anything else Hollywood that I do? I'm so humble. How far is the subway from my house? Avenues away. And you know what? I love all you girlies thinking you're like, Sara says Jessica Parker on the subway. Guess what? I paid my dues. I lived in the Bronx and. And went to high school in the city. I took the subway for like an hour each way for four years of my life. And that's just like school, okay? I paid my dues on that subway. And it is stinky and it is gross, and sometimes you have to stand. And I don't like it. Now, if I can avoid it, then I will. That was. No, no. I need to tell you guys about this. First of all, by the way, hot take. I like the bus more than the subway. The bus is nice. So the health journey that I. That I do talk about, and I'll just explain it in full and then I'll get to the workout and why I was on a bus, but so I gave birth in June. I gained 50 pounds with Noah, I gained 35. I. I was like, this is more. I feel like my body just. Things that didn't happen after Noah's birth happened, and it's just wild not to scare anybody. But giving birth at 36 versus giving birth at 32. Differences. The amount of weight I gained, the changes in my body, like, skin stuff, like, just things I didn't say. I was like, whoa. I was like, damn, this isn't gonna be. This isn't gonna be the same. And I kind of knew that from the get, which is crazy to me that I think I started working out in August. Gross. So unlike me, I always, always make the joke, like, am I cleared? Am I clear to work out? Because I'm not working out, Baha. Then it's like, no, but you have to work out. Like, you have to. So I literally started with a trainer once a week, and Pilates. At that point, it was once a week. And now I. I've moved up to twice. And. And so for months I was doing that, but I was kind of eating my same. Amanda's healthy, which, like, I know how to do. I've always done. When I want to get back, like, into shape, I'll just do my thing. I'll eat less bread. Like, I'll. I'll, you know, just kind of like, everyone has their version of healthy or what helps them lose some weight if they've gained weight. That wasn't working for me. Zilts. Zilts working for me. I was like, what is this? Is it the breastfeeding? And then I look back, I'm like, so weird. I breastfed. No. 1 till it was two and a half. And I got back to myself, to my. To my pre baby weight, even after breastfeeding. So something wasn't adding up. And I was, like, checking my thyroid, which, like, I do have a little bit of a elevated tsh, but not actually, like, I have elevated for, like, Eastern medicine. Anyway, nothing was really explaining it. And it was kind of like, give yourself grace. Wait till you stop breastfeeding. And by the way, I really didn't notice the hormones. Like, these hormones are so crazy with the way they make us sweat, smell, produce milk, all the things. Like, of course it makes sense that it would also store fat, but some people lose it. Anyway, I also had always planned on breastfeeding Lenny for a year. So I was like, okay, we'll deal with that. Like, if it has to be a year later that I start seeing results. And then one day I saw this post by Molly Sims on Instagram. And it was like a what I eat in the day? Which I always skip through those. But hers was just something stood out to me about it. And she also did kind of meal prep. And I was like, you know what? That's it. I have to start meal prepping. Like, if I. If I meal prep, then I'll have the food ready to go, and then I won't order in as much. And. And I saw that she worked with a nutritionist, Sarah Rag, and this is how I do things super impetuously. So I signed up for a consult with her, and then the consult took, like, two months until we did it, because I canceled it. And I was like, what the fuck did I do? I don't. And then I started following her method. It's the first time I've ever worked with a nutritionist. And again, I always thought, like, my method works. Why would I need anybody to tell me anything? And I had her change it up for me. Even from an example is like, her being like, what do you eat for breakfast? Me being like, oh, coconut yogurt, berries in it, almonds, sprinkle, sprinkle chocolate chips, sprinkled granola. You know, coconut flake. Like, okay, gorgeous moosely, gorgeous Moesley. I was eating that every day. And she's like, okay, what's protein in here? It was coconut yogurt. There's like, one gram protein. Like, you need protein in your breakfast also. All this is fat. Coconut Yogurt has, like, 10 grams of fat. The almonds have fat. Like, whoa, lady. She also explained a lot to me about blood sugar and how that's why I wore the monitor for a little bit, which. Which was interesting to see. And what was interesting about that is, like, what she explained to me is when your blood sugar goes, like, up and down, like, it has those big spikes. When it spikes, your body stops burning fat. So if that happens a lot during the day, like, you're like, you're not in fat burning mode. And we want to be in fat burning mode all the time. So you want to keep your blood sugar as stable as possible throughout the day. So I don't eat carbs during the day. And if I have a serving of carbs and I have it from my mini meal, which is around four or at dinner, and that's like one serving of carbs. And she also says that as, like, a cultural thing, like, you want to have dinner with your friends, you can have the fries, blah, blah, blah. But during the day, I really do focus on protein. And I. Low carb. I mean, I wanna say no carb, but like there are carbs in like vegetables and, and, and, and berries. Like there are carbs, but it's like low carb carb. So I've been adhering to that plan. And since I started with her in April, it was the first time I fucking saw a difference. And I remember because I went to Florida in April and I noticed like less puffiness around my face, which I do think is because one of the things she told me to do was quit dairy. Because at that point I had been on whole milk cottage cheese. I actually switched to Greek yogurt. There's a lot of dairy, so. And she even said like, notice when you quit dairy. Like the puffiness, like you'll feel like just depuffed. And I really did it. Sorry to break it to you all you cottage cheese adding people. So I've been adhering to that plan because listen, once you see results, you remain motivated. And for me, seeing those ten pounds from April or in July, like that's, I'm happy with that. Like, I'm like, wow. And I, and I put in the work and I know fudgeing how hard I work and I know how much willpower I have. And the workouts have continued with a one time weight training, I should do more of that. And two times Pilates, I should also do cardio. I'm not doing it right now, but we do the best that we can. And let me tell you, weight training is great. Pilates is great. It really is all in what you eat and you know, and if you're not seeing the progress you want to see, like you got to change things up and making sure you're getting all those food groups. But if you ask me, you asked me about the bus. The bus was. It is wild that, you know, people work out for their mental health. So triggering. I get so endorphin high after my weight training workout that day in particular that I did the wildest shit. I had this workout, okay, which first of all, and this will loop in anxiety. A lot of my triggers for anxiety and which is why I like the air conditioning and the Uber and whatever. Like heat can make me anxious. Like if I'm too hot, if I'm sweating, like that causes anxiety for me. So many years I didn't work out or didn't want to sweat or anything came from that. Like it would make me anxious. So this day that I went to work out, it was 100 degrees in New York. If you remember that day. And I even texted my trainer, like, how's the air conditioning? He's like, you'll be fine. I'm like, I get there, the air conditioning is not fine, and it's on fan mode. Okay? I'm, like, dying. And I completed the workout, which for me was, again, such a proud moment of where I got to with my anxiety, because I was like, you would have never been able to do this. Like, you would have been freaking out. And I not only got through the workout, I then, like, walked. I had a dermatologist that day. I walked there. Then I walked from the derm. And I went. I took myself to, like, lunch, and then I went from lunch, and I found myself going into H and M and, like, buying things. It was so weird. I'm like, what am I doing here? Which I love H and M. But I would order. No, haven't been a store. I haven't been to store orders. It's weird. So I know. Am I crazy? You're saying crazy that I haven't been. I'm saying crazy that I went. So went into H and M, found myself, like, buying things, by the way, returned all them, which is so funny. My husband was like, but didn't you actually try it on that time? I was like, yeah, I was feeling differently that day then because of the a hundred degrees and me running around the town. There's a by the way, I didn't pay on the bus. Are you supposed to pay? Where does everyone pay? You can get caught. But can I just be like, oh, I didn't know. I saw the click. But I just got in, like, picture, like a hopping Carrie Bradshaw. That was me, M86. And I was like. And then I even took a selfie. I sent it. Did I send it to you? It was the workout endorphins. That's what I'm telling you. You guys. It's so weird. Like, it really does. And. And as much as I love Pilates, it's really on days that I do the workout. Workout that I get that head, clarity, high, ready to do. Shit. Listen, at the end of the day, what I remind myself all the time is there is so much more love than hate. Okay, not for Love island people, but I will speak personally. So much more love than hate. People that say the sweetest thing, the most romantic things, that care about me, that care about my family, that are happy for me, that are supporting me. So if I see a message being nasty or whatever, okay, Like, I really. Even though it can affect Me. And it can affect me for days. It is remembering, like, why am I letting that one measly voice take over all the, the. The. The positive ones? Like, it's just giving them less space in your mind, even though they get so loud in this industry. Which is why I said that, like, I love this, like, community that I built. And I know there are trolls and I know they're haters, but I. But I think they're doing it behind my back, so I'm like, okay with it. They're less in the forefront. Yeah. I think it's kind of sad because I used to not. I used to not. You would ask me this two years ago. I would say, like, no, I don't. Because here's the thing. I'm not burnt out from doing what I do. I love what I do and I love sharing it and I love the podcast. I think when I get burnout is when I like everyone in the world. And this is regardless of my. What I do is the doom scrolling and the finding yourself. Like, wait, why am I standing in this? I found myself the other week, like, in this door, like, what's it called? Like a doorway. Just, like scrolling in the door. Like, stuck there. What are you doing, Queen? What are you doing? Leave the doorway. Go to wherever you meant to go to. And I think Lily Reinhart said this, like, even stop for the, like, take. Stop taking your phone to your bathroom. You know, go pee without your fucking phone. So I think the burnout is not from my job. I love what I do and I want to see what's up. I want to see Gracie and Paul at fucking Glatz. Dan, Barry Watson. Barry. I want to know what's up. I want to see, you know, Kylie and Timmy and Sandra Bay that I don't get burnout from. I think the burnout is all the. The background noise. It's just like the doom scrolling, the getting to the random fucking pages of things, you know, that kind of thing is what makes me burn out. That I don't want that to affect, like, what I actually do. So I want to stop with that. If, if, if I could. I put my mind to it. Would you ever have husband? No. Really? Would he talk? Regina? Yes. I just think he would not want to. He wouldn't want to. Which, by the way, I love. Wait, you guys are both tourists? Doesn't make sense. He, like, hates the spotlight. Spotlight. And you're just trying to be in it. But he really, like, even if I take him to an event, he's like, don't introduce me. Don't mention an event. He does. He always wants to be the plus one. No, he wants. Yeah. Which, like, takes away other people's plus ones. But he then doesn't want me to. Like, he doesn't mind if people think, like, he's my, like, bodyguard. Like, he's just like, you don't need to introduce me. You don't need to say who I am. Like, he doesn't want. Which the pressure is nice to be taken off because sometimes you do feel if you're with a friend or even if I take a sister, like, by the way, with you, I don't feel that pressure because I'm like, she'll find her way. She'll find her way. But with some people, you're like, oh, this is so and so. Or you don't want to leave them alone if you, you know, start talking to someone, you know. And I don't feel that with him because I know he genuinely doesn't care. How do you feel about the podcast industry being so oversaturated and everyone getting a mic? Somebody asked this or you, Me. Everyone getting a mic. You sound like a troll. Here's what I think. I think on one hand, it's, like, awesome that we're in 2025, and I remember starting in 2019 and thinking that I was, like, late to the game because it's always so nice to be first at something. And I think I wish back then that I was, like, earlier to it. Now I look at and I was like, damn, I was a motherfucking pioneer. I was in the. I was in the mines. So now I'm like, Whoa, starting in 2019, it was so early and was really, like, at the forefront of this. It makes me happy that podcasting has remained so strong that people. What do you mean, people? 2025 seems to be the year of starting podcasts. I think that, of course, like any business that gets oversaturated, I do want to read a quote. Can I have my phone? Because I saved this really good quote that will help anyone that feels like, you know, because at the end of the day, almost every industry is oversaturated. I think of actors, for example, like, how many beautiful actresses and actors do we know that we think are, like, you know, successful doing their thing? So many of them are so dying for, like, a part in a movie, you know, that you watch with a different actress, and they're like, why wasn't that me? So, of course, like, when there are a lot of pods and somebody else gets the guest that you want or, or somebody else is doing something that you're doing or let me, let me tell you what will make you feel better. So this is a quote by Lisa Kudrow. You have to surrender to the fact that you are of too many in a highly competitive field, which can be, in my opinion, any field where it is difficult to stand out over time. Through your work, you will demonstrate who you are and what you bring to the field. Just stay with it and keep working. So I really love that because this is my self talk and also now Lisa Kudrow saying it to me. There's only one of you and one of what you do and one of what you bring to the table. So even if there are five other podcasts that are in even the same world as you, no one brings what you bring to the table and no one brings you to the table. And also people like you or a different podcast or for different reasons. So I really do believe that there is room for everyone. And I also do believe that there is a survival of the fittest. Like only the people that are really passionate about this will stay in the game. And I think that's with anything. And you see podcasts come and go. So it's like, and I've, haven't we met people? Have you been with me before? Where it's like people start a podcast and they're like, it's so hard. How do you do it? How do you do it? And I'm like, if you are saying this already, then you probably shouldn't be doing this. So I think that so happy that the podcast industry is booming because it really is the present, the future. And I really think there is room for everyone and everyone brings themselves to the table and only someone who really feels passionate about it and can bring something different will stand the test of time. Okay, I love you. Thank you so much for listening to my, you know, self absorbed hour. Love you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Not Skinny but Not Fat. Follow me on Instagram at Not Skinny but Not Fat. Subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any episodes. Rate the podcast that you love so much on Apple Podcasts and write a little review. If you tell me you did, I'll give you a big virtual smoocharoo. Thank you guys so much for listening and I'll see you next Tuesday. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.