Podcast
Not So Dumb Blonde
Hosted by Kaytlyn Gilner · EN
Not So Dumb Blonde is a mental health podcast for women who are tired of being told they’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “too emotional” when in reality, they are thoughtful, attuned, and deeply human.
Hosted by Kaytlyn, a soon-to-be therapist currently working toward her Master’s in Social Work, the podcast approaches women’s mental health through a grounded, evidence-based, and systems-informed lens. With an additional Master’s in International Relations, Kaytlyn brings a broader perspective to conversations about trauma, attachment, emotional regulation, boundaries, and relationship patterns.
Drawing from experience working with teenage girls in inpatient mental health settings, building community and resources for hundreds of women in Denver, and studies becoming a social worker, this podcast blends professional insight with lived experience and not just personal opinion.
Listeners can expect:
• conversations with licensed mental health professionals across evidence-based modalities
• thoughtful discussion of real-world mental health, relationships, and systems
• stories shared by women navigating real life, real emotions, and real challenges
• solo episodes reflecting on growth, healing, and the therapist-in-training journey
Not So Dumb Blonde isn’t about fixing yourself because nothing about you is broken. It’s about understanding yourself, accepting your experiences, and learning how to work with your emotions in ways that help you feel more grounded in your personal life, your work, and your relationships.
This is a space for nuance, safety, and not having to shrink yourself to belong.
For educational purposes only. This podcast is not a substitute for therapy.
26episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Flashback Episode: Navigating Attachment Styles and Relationship Patterns With Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
1w ago00:41:08Tap to summarizeJoin us for an insightful and engaging episode as we sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a leading psychologist and relationship expert. Get ready to explore the world of attachment styles and discover how they shape our love connections.Dr. Tracy shares practical advice for cultivating healthy and successful relationships. From communication tips to nurturing intimacy, her wisdom is both enlightening and applicable to all aspects of your love life.Connect with Dr. Tracy on her social media @drtracyd for a treasure trove of additional relationship gems. And while you're at it, don't forget to follow us @notsodumbblondespodcast to stay up-to-date with our latest episodes.Get ready to level up your relationship game and embrace a journey of love, laughter, and lasting connections. Enjoy!
Transcribe →Narcissistic Parents and How it Affects Dating & Attachment in Adulthood
2w ago00:47:27Tap to summarizeHOST LINKSInstagram: @notsodumbblonde_podTikTok: @ItsTherapyKayStop Sabotaging Your Relationship Workbook: https://linktr.ee/kaytlynmEPISODE SUMMARYIn this episode, Kaytlyn Gilner interviews David Weeks, an expert in healing from complex trauma and narcissistic family dynamics.They break down what narcissism actually looks like within families, how these dynamics impact identity and relationships, and the long-term effects of emotional abuse.They also explore common roles within narcissistic family systems—such as the golden child and scapegoat—and share practical, realistic steps toward healing and recovery.If you’ve ever questioned your family dynamics or are navigating CPTSD, this episode will help you better understand your experience and feel less alone.KEY TOPICSNarcissistic family dynamicsImpact of narcissistic abuse on childrenTrauma bonds and healing strategiesFamily roles: golden child, scapegoat, truth seerTriangulation and control in narcissistic familiesKEYWORDSnarcissistic family, complex trauma, CPTSD, narcissistic personality disorder, emotional abuse, trauma healing, attachment, trauma bondsGUESTDavid WeeksGUEST LINKSInstagram: @djweeks_Website: https://traumaiam.comRESOURCESTrauma I Am: https://traumaiam.comDavid’s Instagram: https://instagram.com/djweeksCHAPTERS00:00 Introduction to Narcissism and Trauma Healing02:37 Understanding Narcissism05:09 Growing Up in Narcissistic Families07:47 Golden Child vs Scapegoat10:36 Day-to-Day Family Dynamics24:03 Attachment and Isolation26:33 Triangulation Explained30:33 Speaking Up and Backlash34:05 Impact on Adult Relationships39:55 Practical Healing Tips
Transcribe →NPD vs BPD: Same Behavior, Different Intent (Impact, Rage & Relationships)
2w ago00:14:45Tap to summarize🎙️ Episode Type: Interview🎯 Primary Goal: Educational🧠 SummaryThis episode breaks down the nuanced differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), with a focus on one key concept: intent vs impact.Hosted by Kaytlyn Gilner, therapist-in-training, this conversation explores how trauma, behavior, and diagnosis intersect—and why two behaviors that look the same can come from very different places.🔑 KeywordsNPD, BPD, mental health, trauma, diagnosis, intent vs impact, therapy, narcissistic abuse, emotional regulation, healing📌 Key Topics• Differences between NPD and BPD• Intent vs impact in behavior• The role of trauma in personality disorders• DSM-5 diagnostic criteria• Therapy, healing, and change💡 Takeaways• Impact alone doesn’t tell you someone’s intent• Understanding intent can reduce misdiagnosis and stigma• Trauma often underlies behaviors in both NPD and BPD• These diagnoses involve complex emotional patterns—not just labels• Change and growth are possible🎤 GuestKaytlyn Gilner🎧 Title Options• NPD vs BPD: Same Behavior, Different Intent• NPD vs BPD: Intent vs Impact Explained• Understanding NPD vs BPD: Trauma, Rage & Misdiagnosis🎙️ Sound Bites“Impact alone does not reveal the intent behind behavior.”“People with BPD often feel a lot of shame and guilt.”“People with NPD can change and grow, despite common beliefs.”⏱️ Chapters00:00 NPD vs BPD: Why Intent Matters09:09 Diagnostic Criteria Explained13:23 Trauma & Personality Disorders14:05 Final Thoughts📚 ResourcesDSM-5 Diagnostic Criteriahttps://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsmDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/Kaytlyn Gilnerhttps://kaytlyngilner.com/
Transcribe →Can Therapy Be Harmful? The Truth About CPTSD, Trauma & Bad Therapy
3w ago00:22:06Tap to summarizeEpisode SummaryKaytlyn Gilner, a social work graduate student and aspiring therapist, explores the potential harms of therapy—especially for individuals with CPTSD. She breaks down why trauma-informed care is essential, how to choose the right therapist, and where therapy can fall short.Through both personal experience and professional insight, Kaytlyn shares practical guidance for navigating mental health care, validating your experiences, and finding healing strategies that actually work—including Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).therapy, CPTSD, trauma-informed care, therapist selection, DBT, mental health, healing, validation, complex trauma, therapy pitfallsWhen therapy can be harmful without trauma-informed careThe importance of therapist alignment and shared valuesPersonal experiences with therapy and traumaRisks of couples therapy in toxic or unsafe relationshipsThe role of diagnosis and self-validation in healingBenefits and limitations of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)Kaytlyn GilnerThe Hidden Dangers of Therapy for CPTSDHow to Choose a Trauma-Informed Therapist“Therapy can be harmful sometimes.”“Get a second opinion for your diagnosis.”“Support and trust are key in therapy.”00:00 — The Complexities of Therapy08:33 — Navigating Couples Therapy12:30 — Understanding Diagnoses and Their Impact16:41 — The Power of Trauma-Informed Care20:03 — Finding the Right Therapist21:26 — ClosingDBT Workbook: https://linktr.ee/yourlinkNASW Code of Ethics: https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-EnglishSAMHSA: https://www.samhsa.gov/KeywordsKey TopicsGuestEpisode Title OptionsSound BitesChaptersResourcesDialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Workbook - https://linktr.ee/kaytlynnmNational Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics - https://www.socialworkers.org/About/Ethics/Code-of-Ethics/Code-of-Ethics-EnglishSubstance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) - https://www.samhsa.gov/
Transcribe →Healing After Divorce: Stop Self-Abandonment, Spot Red Flags & Choose Yourself
3w ago00:57:36Tap to summarizeIn this episode,Kaytlyn Gilner hosts her friend Rachel, a financial expert and author, todiscuss the intersection of self-worth, red flags, healing from toxicrelationships, and rebuilding confidence. They share personal stories,practical tools, and insights to empower women in dating and relationships.Key topics:Recognizing andtrusting your intuition in datingThe importance offinancial independence in relationship boundariesHow to identify redflags vs. deal breakersThe role of therapy,journaling, and self-reflection in healingStrategies forspeaking up and setting boundaries confidentlyCommon relationshippatterns and how to break themThe impact ofattachment styles on relationship dynamicsHow to protect yourpeace and prioritize your well-beingPractical tips forself-trust, self-love, and healingTimestamps:00:00 - Recognizingthe moment of self-abandonment in relationships 01:56 - IntroducingRachel's background and new book project on dating red flags 03:38 - Rachelshares her journey through divorce and therapy 04:45 - The storybehind her motivation to write about red flags and healing 05:53 - Howfinancial independence influences relationship choices 07:22 - Examples ofred flags and overlooked early warning signs 08:58 - Overcomingred flag patterns and ignoring warning signs 10:46 - Theimportance of partner support and loyalty in relationships 11:33 - How therapyhelped uncover early red flags and patterns 12:23 - Rachel’sexperience with trust violations and self-awareness 14:03 - Manipulativebehaviors and red flags to watch for 15:37 - Thesignificance of accountability in red flags 16:58 - The momentRachel realized she couldn't stay in her marriage 17:39 - The power oftherapy and journaling for clarity and closure 20:44 - Usingjournal entries as evidence to understand recurring patterns 23:29 - Theimportance of environment when addressing mental health symptoms 24:47 - Intentionalshifts in dating and building confidence 27:09 - Thetransformative power of speaking up for oneself 28:34 - Theimportance of setting boundaries and trusting yourself 31:31 - Listening toyour intuition and protecting your peace 32:43 - Reframingattachment style triggers and healing in relationships 35:54 - The value ofpausing and trusting your feelings 44:40 - Embracingimperfect healing and ongoing growth in love 45:29 - Funexercise: Identifying red flags and green flags in potential partners 50:32 - Clarifyingwhat constitutes a red flag versus a deal breaker 52:30 - Thecomplexities of ex-relationships and how they relate to red flags 55:54 - Practicaladvice for dating with awareness and confidence 56:25 - Connectingwith Rachel and upcoming projectsResources &Links:Passive IncomeAggressive RetirementSelf-Love Workbookfor WomenJustin Magaluski& Lisa Welling research on narcissism & exes (search for relatedstudies)Psychology TodayConnect with Rachel:Website: Money HoneyRachelTwitterRemember, trustingyour feelings, setting boundaries, and investing in your self-worth are key tohealthy love. Practice self-trust daily and know that you deserve safe,respectful relationships.
Transcribe →BPD vs NPD: How Trauma Shows Up Differently in Women and Men (Borderline vs Narcissism)
4w ago00:13:10Tap to summarizesummaryHost Kaytlyn Gilner talks about what she has learned this week as an MSW grad student and soon-to-be therapist. This episode explores the nuances of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders, their social and gendered roots, and how trauma influences these conditions. It emphasizes understanding behaviors as coping mechanisms and promotes healing and validation for those affected. keywordsNarcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Trauma, Socialization, Mental Health, Healing, Gender Differences, Personality Traits, Narcissistic Abuse, Emotional Maturity key topicsNarcissistic Personality Disorder prevalence and misconceptionsGender differences in socialization and emotional expressionTrauma and attachment wounds as roots of personality disordersThe importance of accurate diagnosis and understanding behaviors as coping mechanismsTreatment and recovery options for BPD and NPD takeawaysMost people with traits of NPD or BPD do not meet full diagnostic criteria.Trauma and early attachment wounds significantly influence personality disorders.Socialization shapes how men and women express emotions and cope with trauma.Labeling behaviors as traits rather than diagnoses helps in understanding and healing.Healthy narcissism includes confidence and self-worth, not entitlement or lack of empathy. guest nameKaytlyn Gilner key frameworksTrauma as a root cause of personality disordersSocialization and gendered emotional expression action itemsValidate your feelings without diagnosing.Recognize behaviors as coping mechanisms, not identity.Seek treatment options like DBT for BPD.Educate yourself on the differences between traits and diagnoses.Support trauma-informed approaches to healing.TitlesUnderstanding Narcissism and BPD: Trauma's Role and SocializationThe Gendered Roots of Narcissistic and Borderline Disorders sound bites"Most people with traits do not meet full criteria""NPD and BPD are socialized expressions of trauma""Men externalize, women internalize emotional pain"Chapters00:00 Understanding Narcissistic Abuse03:25 The Gender Dynamics of Personality Disorders06:41 Trauma and Its Expressions in Personality Disorders09:38 Healing and Recovery from Personality Disorders10:55 Validating Personal Experiences in Relationships12:31 NSDB Thank you for listening Final .mp4 resourcesDSM-5 - https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsmDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) - https://behavioraltech.org/John G. Gunderson's research on BPD - https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
Transcribe →How to Stop Spiraling and Regulate Your Emotions in Relationships (DBT Explained)
4w ago00:49:15Tap to summarize# Unlocking the Power of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) with Mallory GollickDiscover how DBT, backed by extensive research, can transform emotional regulation and mental health treatment. In this episode, Mallory Gollick, a seasoned DBT expert in Denver, shares insights on how this modality is helping individuals, especially those with borderline personality disorder (BPD), CPTSD, and other trauma-related conditions, create meaningful change. Main topics:The proven effectiveness of DBT, with up to 88% remission rates for BPD after a year of treatmentHow DBT restructures brain activity, decreasing amygdala size and activityThe core modules: distress tolerance, emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulnessPractical DBT skills: STOP, opposite action, checking the facts, Dear Man, and moreHow DBT can be adapted for various mental health conditions beyond BPDStrategies for applying DBT skills in real-time during emotional episodesThe importance of structured modules and repetition in skill acquisitionResources for learning and implementing DBT, including workbooks and training opportunitiesBuilding a Life Worth Living by Marsha LinehanGreen Couch CounselingDBT workbook tools: https://tr.ee/AfNgWqYqxgLinkedInWebsiteDBT is a powerful, evidence-based approach capable of reducing symptoms dramatically.This therapy offers practical skills that individuals can use daily to improve emotional regulation and relationships.Structured modules combined with repetition facilitate real change and new neural pathways.Timestamps:00:00 - Introduction to DBT and its success rates in treating BPD00:31 - How DBT rewires the brain in just one year01:01 - Why DBT is effective for various mental health conditions01:31 - Tackling emotional reactivity and impulsivity with DBT tools02:06 - The significant stigma around BPD and how DBT offers hope02:51 - Overview of the neuroscience behind DBT’s impact on the amygdala and other brain regions04:23 - Building a meaningful, life worth living through DBT07:30 - Common reasons women seek DBT: relationships, self-harm, suicidality08:48 - How DBT helps with emotional dysregulation in relationships12:44 - The four core modules of DBT and their practical application13:32 - The structure of DBT group classes and individualized support16:15 - Recognizing triggers in relationships and applying DBT skills18:16 - Differentiating intuition from emotional dysregulation20:36 - Addressing black-and-white thinking and fostering cognitive flexibility22:15 - Understanding emotional spirals and how DBT can help break the cycle23:54 - The research evidence supporting DBT’s effectiveness24:30 - The treatability of BPD and common skills for immediate use28:38 - Real-life examples of using opposite action in relationships33:14 - Tips for those struggling to implement DBT skills in the moment42:14 - Next steps for learning DBT through group classes and therapy43:16 - The difference between trained DBT therapists and DBT-inspired work44:00 - Duration and structure of DBT modules45:06 - How to connect with Mallory Gollick for more information45:44 - Final thoughts on the impact of DBT and resources availableResources & Links:Connect with Mallory Gollick:Takeaways:Feel inspired to learn more about DBT and how it can support your mental health journey. Whether you’re seeking individual therapy, group classes, or resources to self-apply, this episode provides a comprehensive overview to help you get started.
Transcribe →Amelia Earhart: The Hidden History of Women and Why We Feel the Need to Prove Ourselves
Apr 800:44:07Tap to summarizeJoin the host, Kaytlyn Gilner, a MSW grad student and soon to be therapist while she interviews Rachel Hartigan. Rachel, is an award-winning journalist and author, discusses the portrayal of women in media, the pressures women face to prove themselves, and her recent book on Amelia Earhart. This conversation explores narrative shaping, gender biases, and the importance of authentic storytelling.DescriptionUncover the deeply rooted stories that shape women’s roles, voices, and self-perception in a world built on bias and tradition. In this eye-opening episode, renowned journalist Rachel Hartigan breaks down how narratives—both overt and implicit—fuel the relentless pressure women feel to prove their worth and credibility. From how media and institutions historically underrepresent women to the surprising truths behind Amelia Earhart’s daring life, Rachel reveals insights that will reshape your understanding of female empowerment and societal expectations. You’ll discover the behind-the-scenes decisions that influence which women are seen as experts and which stories are deemed credible—and how these biases continue to influence everything from media portrayal to workplace dynamics. Rachel shares fascinating moments from her experiences, including her expeditions searching for Earhart's fate, the cultural impact of black-and-white storytelling, and the subtle pressures women face around their cycles and careers. Her exploration of Amelia's fierce independence and refusal to conform to societal norms offers powerful lessons on authenticity, resilience, and the importance of forging your own path. We break down real-world tactics for questioning and challenging societal scripts, including how implicit bias from childhood shapes perceptions and how women can reclaim their narratives. If you've ever felt like you need reassurance before stepping into new spaces or uncomfortable conversations, this episode provides a blueprint for courage and self-trust. Rachel's work, rooted in decades of investigative journalism and her latest book "Lost," inspires women to embrace their individuality and to redefine what proof of worth really looks like. Why does it matter? Because understandingkeywordsWomen in media, narrative shaping, Amelia Earhart, gender bias, storytelling, women’s rights, media representation, women’s stories, female pioneers, resourcesRachel Hartigan's Website - https://rachelhardiganauthor.comBook 'Lost' by Rachel HartiganThe Host's Resources:How to Stop Spiraling: DBT Inspired Work Book - https://linktr.ee/kaytlynm@itstherapykay@notsodumbblond_podTalkspace discount code: SPACE80
Transcribe →Change Your Relationship with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) & Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
Apr 100:27:02Tap to summarizeUnlock the truth about women’s behavior in relationships and discover why the patterns you see aren't your fault — they're solutions you can reframe and change. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, misunderstood, or trapped in a cycle of over-functioning or under-functioning, this episode is your game-changer. Join Kaytlyn, a master’s-level social work student and emerging therapist, as she dives deep into groundbreaking insights from couples therapy, attachment theory, and real-world strategies to transform your love life. She reveals how societal messages about independence and connection often keep women stuck in unhelpful roles, and explains how understanding these patterns empowers you to reclaim your agency. You'll discover:Why women tend to over-explain, over-communicate, and over-function in relationships — and how these behaviors are actually solutions to anxiety and disconnection.How to reframe problem behaviors as purposeful actions that meet unmet attachment needs, rather than personal flaws.The power of micro moments and the 'Caring Days' method, which encourages acting as if your relationship already reflects your ideal, to create rapid positive shifts.The pitfalls of couples therapy that assumes good intent and how to speak your truth safely, especially if you're experiencing emotional abuse or gaslighting.How to harness attachment-aware compassion without minimizing your own needs or excusing harmful behavior.This episode isn’t just about theory — it’s about real growth. Kaytlyn combines expert knowledge with her own healing insights to help women navigate vulnerability, set boundaries, and foster genuine intimacy. Whether you’re single, dating, or in a long-term relationship, these strategies will give you a clearer, more compassionate path forward. Activate your relationship potential today by understanding the patterns holding you back. Empower yourself with tools that promote authenticity, safety, and love — starting now. Perfect for women ready to break toxic cycles, therapists-in-training, or anyone seeking a richer understanding of healthy intimacy. Stay tuned for practical frameworks, heartfelt reflections, and a roadmap to relationship resilience.
Transcribe →Is It Anxiety or Intuition? How to Tell the Difference?
Mar 1800:45:26Tap to summarizeMost women are disconnected from their body's true signals, leaving them trapped in anxiety, people-pleasing, and chronic stress. Brenda Johnston is here to reveal the overlooked truth: your body's wisdom is the key to trusting your intuition—and transforming anxiety into clarity.With over 20 years of experience working at the subconscious and energetic levels, Brenda helps high-capacity women who have achieved success but feel unfulfilled and out of alignment. She shares eye-opening insights on how nervous system dysregulation, complex trauma, and societal conditioning sabotage your inner guidance. Discover how understanding your unique energy blueprint, using tools like human design and tailored subconscious work, can accelerate lasting change and deepen your self-trust.In this transformative episode, you'll learn:The subtle signs your body is screaming for attention—chronic illness, nervous tension, gut issues, and more—and how to interpret themPractical steps to differentiate between fear and intuition, even when they feel blurred togetherHow energy management, thymus tapping, and internal awareness can shift your nervous system from overwhelm to empowered clarityThe importance of age and life cycles in uncovering your purpose, and why your 40s and beyond are the most potent times for transformationWhy traditional methods often fail, and how personalized, energetic profiling unlocks your innate potential fasterThis episode is perfect for women ready to reclaim their inner authority, break free from societal scripts, and step confidently into their next chapter. If you’re tired of surface-level advice and want to connect deeply with your true self, Brenda’s expert guidance will show you how to tune into your own body’s language and live with purpose and trust.Get ready to tap into your unique energy signature, heal chronic stress, and finally hear what your body has been whispering all along. Your journey to authentic alignment starts here.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Brenda Johnston and Her Work02:25 Understanding Intuition vs. Anxiety09:11 Nervous System Regulation and Intuition15:08 Common Themes in Women's Experiences20:38 The Impact of Suppressed Emotions on Health23:07 Understanding the Body's Response to Fear26:29 Navigating Purpose and Life Cycles32:15 Exploring Human Design as a Tool for Self-Discovery40:00 Practical Tools for Aligning with Intuition resourcesBrenda Johnston's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/_brenda_johnston/Limitless Life Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/limitless-life-podcast/id1551234567Free Energy Management Practice - https://brendajohnston.com/energy-practiceHuman Design PDF Guide - https://brendajohnston.com/human-design-guideBrenda Johnston's Workshop on Purpose - https://brendajohnston.com/workshop-purposesGuest LinksInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/_brenda_johnston/Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/limitless-life-podcast/id1551234567Join her free energy management practice and upcoming workshops via the links in her bio.Unlock the power of your subconscious and energy blueprint—your transformation awaits. Hit play now!
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