Podcast
Not So Dumb Blonde
Hosted by Kaytlyn Gilner · EN
Not So Dumb Blonde is a women’s mental health podcast hosted by Kaytlyn, an MSW student and mental health advocate passionate about trauma healing, emotional regulation, DBT, relationships, attachment styles, and women’s empowerment.
This podcast explores the real psychology behind anxiety, BPD, people pleasing, trauma responses, emotional dysregulation, self-worth, boundaries, family systems, and modern relationships — in a relatable, honest, and easy-to-understand way.
Episodes include conversations with therapists, mental health professionals, trauma survivors, authors, and experts, along
33episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Sasha DiGiulian on Bullying, Body Image & Becoming a Champion
Yesterday00:47:21Tap to summarizeSasha DiGiulian on Bullying, Body Image & Becoming a ChampionWhat does it take to overcome bullying, recover from an eating disorder, and become one of the world's most accomplished athletes?In this episode of the Not So Dumb Blonde Podcast, I sit down with world champion rock climber, entrepreneur, speaker, and author Sasha DiGiulian to discuss the challenges that shaped her journey—from navigating body image struggles and public criticism to breaking barriers in a male-dominated sport.Sasha shares how she built resilience through adversity, learned to embrace both her femininity and athletic identity, and found the confidence to pursue ambitious goals despite setbacks, injuries, and self-doubt.We also dive into mental health, social media, entrepreneurship, leadership, women supporting women, and what it really means to stay authentic while building a successful career.Whether you're an athlete, entrepreneur, student, or simply navigating your own personal challenges, Sasha's story offers powerful lessons on self-trust, perseverance, and growth.🎁 FREE GUIDE: Anxiety or Red Flag?Download here: www.therapykay.com/freebieIn this episode:• Overcoming bullying and eating disorders• Building confidence and resilience• Mental health in elite athletics• Women in sports and breaking stereotypes• Recovering from injuries and identity shifts• Social media and public criticism• Entrepreneurship and founding Send Bars• Embracing femininity in competitive spaces• Leadership, authenticity, and personal growth• The importance of community and women supporting womenConnect with Sasha:Instagram: @sashadigiulianSend Bars: sendbars.comConnect with Therapy Kay:Instagram: @itstherapykayTikTok: @itstherapykayYouTube: @TherapyKayIf you enjoyed this episode, please follow, rate, and share the podcast. Your support helps us continue bringing meaningful conversations about mental health, relationships, personal growth, and resilience to more people.
Transcribe →4 Surprising Signs of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment
3d ago00:10:58Tap to summarizeHave you ever met someone who seemed incredibly loving, attentive, and all-in at the beginning of a relationship—only to become distant once things got serious?In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn Gilner breaks down four surprising signs of dismissive avoidant attachment that often get missed in dating and relationships.Many people assume avoidant attachment looks like emotional distance from day one. In reality, dismissive avoidants can initially appear affectionate, reassuring, and deeply invested. The challenges often emerge once true emotional intimacy develops and attachment wounds become activated.In this episode, we discuss:• What dismissive avoidant attachment actually is• Why avoidants can seem loving and emotionally available at first• The connection between love bombing and attachment insecurity• How superficial relationships can be a warning sign• The role of work, hobbies, substances, and other distractions in emotional avoidance• Communication red flags that may indicate avoidant attachment patterns• How attachment wounds impact long-term relationship dynamicsWhether you're trying to understand your own attachment style, make sense of a past relationship, or learn how to identify healthy relationship patterns, this episode offers practical insights into one of the most misunderstood attachment styles.🎧 Subscribe for more conversations on attachment styles, relationships, anxiety, trauma recovery, mental health, and personal growth.💗 FREE GUIDE: Anxiety or Red Flag?Download here: www.therapykay.com/freebieConnect with Kaytlyn:YouTube: @KaytlynGilnerWebsite: www.therapykay.com
Transcribe →S2E21 - How to Build Self-Trust When Life Falls Apart | Sarah Beaver on Healing After Divorce, Cancer & Life's Biggest Challenges
1w ago00:38:25Tap to summarizeHow to Build Self-Trust When Life Falls Apart | Sarah Beaver on Healing After Divorce, Cancer & Life's Biggest ChallengesHow do you trust yourself when life feels like it's falling apart?In this powerful episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn sits down with cancer survivor, podcaster, and retreat host Sarah Beaver to explore how self-trust becomes the foundation for healing during life's most difficult seasons.After navigating both divorce and a Stage 3 cancer diagnosis, Sarah shares the mindset shifts, daily practices, and emotional resilience tools that helped her move through uncertainty, grief, fear, and major life transitions with greater confidence and self-compassion.Together, they discuss why self-trust isn't something you magically find—it's something you build. Through journaling, meditation, community support, nervous system regulation, and focusing on what you can control, Sarah learned how to navigate adversity without losing herself in the process.Whether you're facing heartbreak, anxiety, illness, loss, uncertainty, or a major life transition, this conversation offers practical tools and hope for rebuilding trust in yourself, even when life doesn't go according to plan.How to build self-trust during difficult seasons of lifeHealing after divorce and major life transitionsNavigating a cancer diagnosis and recoveryWhy focusing on what you can control reduces anxietyJournaling as a tool for emotional healing and self-awarenessMeditation, resilience, and nervous system regulationHow community support helps us navigate hardshipTrusting your intuition during uncertaintyHolding multiple emotions at the same timeFinding meaning and purpose through adversity✔ Self-trust is built before the storm—and strengthened during it.✔ Healing doesn't mean avoiding pain; it means learning how to move through it.✔ Anxiety often decreases when we focus on what we can control.✔ Journaling and meditation can help strengthen emotional resilience.✔ Community and connection are essential during life's hardest moments.✔ Healing is not a destination—it's an ongoing process."Divorce prepared me for cancer.""Feelings can be complex and dual in nature.""Healing is an ongoing process."Sarah Beaver is a cancer survivor, podcast host, retreat leader, and advocate for personal growth and emotional healing. Through her work, she helps people cultivate resilience, joy, and self-trust while navigating life's inevitable challenges.Connect with Sarah:Guest Resource PageInstagram:https://instagram.com/itssarahbeaverFree Resources:Anxiety or a Red Flag?A free DBT-informed guide to understanding relationship anxiety, emotional triggers, attachment wounds, intuition, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional safety.https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie00:00 Why Self-Trust Matters When Life Falls Apart01:20 Cancer Diagnosis & Focusing on What You Can Control02:45 Journaling as a Tool for Healing and Self-Trust04:45 Meditation, Anxiety & Managing Uncertainty06:55 Did Divorce Prepare Her for Cancer?08:15 Sharing Her Cancer Journey Publicly10:50 The Most Important Emotional Resilience Tools11:15 Creating Sunshine: Finding Joy During Hard Times13:40 The Power of Duality & Holding Two Emotions at Once16:40 What Cancer Taught Her About Suffering17:45 Helping Children Navigate Grief and Loss21:00 Discovering Purpose Through Adversity24:35 Community, Support & Finding Your People26:50 Signs You're Building Real Self-Trust30:05 What Healing Looks Like Today34:00 Where to Find Sarah Beaver#SelfTrust #HealingAfterDivorce #CancerSurvivor #EmotionalResilience #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealthPodcast #GriefHealing #AnxietySupport #HealingJourney #WomensMentalHealth #LifeTransitions #TrustYourself
Transcribe →S2E20-Surviving Columbine: How Trauma Changes the Nervous System and What Healing Really Looks Like | Krista Hanley
1w ago00:47:02Tap to summarizeSurviving Columbine: How Trauma Changes the Nervous System and What Healing Really Looks Like | Krista HanleyWhat happens to the nervous system after trauma—and how do you learn to feel safe again?In this powerful episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn Gilner sits down with Columbine survivor, writer, speaker, and trauma-informed educator Krista Hanley to discuss the lifelong impact of trauma, PTSD, hypervigilance, emotional safety, boundaries, trust, and nervous system healing.Krista shares her experience surviving the Columbine tragedy and offers an honest look at what trauma recovery actually looks like years later. Together, they explore how trauma affects the body, relationships, self-trust, and the ability to feel safe in everyday life.This conversation dives into the realities of living in survival mode, finding the right therapist, rebuilding trust after trauma, somatic healing, self-defense as empowerment, and why healing isn't about becoming fearless—it's about teaching your nervous system that safety, connection, and trust are possible again.Whether you're recovering from trauma, navigating PTSD, struggling with hypervigilance, or supporting someone on their healing journey, this episode offers insight, hope, and practical tools for moving forward.How trauma impacts the nervous system long after the event is overPTSD, hypervigilance, and living in survival modeWhy emotional safety is essential for healingThe role of boundaries in trauma recoveryHow trauma affects trust and relationshipsSomatic healing and reconnecting with the bodyFinding the right therapist after traumaSelf-defense, empowerment, and reclaiming your voiceRebuilding a sense of safety after violencePost-traumatic growth and resilience✔ Healing is not about eliminating fear—it's about expanding your capacity for safety.✔ Trauma lives in both the mind and the body.✔ Boundaries are a critical part of nervous system healing.✔ Trust can be rebuilt, even after profound trauma.✔ Recovery is not linear, but healing is possible."Healing isn't about becoming fearless.""Your nervous system learns safety through experience.""Boundaries are part of healing."Krista Hanley is a Columbine survivor, writer, speaker, trauma-informed facilitator, and violence prevention educator. She is the co-owner of We Are Safer Together, where she teaches trauma-informed safety, self-defense, empowerment, and violence prevention.Her memoir, How to Survive a Mass Shooting: A Columbine Memoir, explores the long-term impact of trauma, resilience, and recovery after surviving one of the most significant school shootings in American history.Krista Hanley:https://kristahanley.com/We Are Safer Together:https://wearesafertogether.com/Preorder:How to Survive a Mass Shooting: A Columbine Memoirhttps://www.motinabooks.com/book/how-to-survive-a-mass-shooting-a-columbine-memoir/Anxiety or a Red Flag?A free DBT-informed guide to understanding relationship anxiety, attachment wounds, emotional triggers, intuition, nervous system dysregulation, and emotional safety.https://therapy-kay-2.kit.com/freebie00:00 Introduction to Krista Hanley and Her Work04:18 The Impact of Columbine on Personal Safety07:14 PTSD, Hypervigilance, and Survival Mode10:37 Finding the Right Therapist14:09 Trust Issues and Relationships After Trauma18:14 The Role of Boundaries in Healing25:51 Navigating Relationships and Emotional Safety26:48 Somatic Healing and Nervous System Recovery27:51 Yoga, Self-Defense, and Reclaiming Power29:19 Finding Your Voice After Trauma31:14 Empowerment Through Self-Defense34:59 Creating Safe Spaces for Healing37:46 The Journey of Recovery38:59 Redefining Safety After Trauma43:46 Advocating for Yourself in Health and Healing#TraumaRecovery #PTSD #Columbine #NervousSystemHealing #SomaticHealing #EmotionalSafety #MentalHealthPodcast #TraumaHealing #Hypervigilance #Boundaries #WomenMentalHealth #HealingJourney
Transcribe →S2E19-Anxiety or a Red Flag? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is Toxic
1w ago00:19:28Tap to summarizeAnxiety or a Red Flag? How to Tell If Your Relationship Is ToxicAre you experiencing relationship anxiety—or are you ignoring real red flags?If you've ever found yourself overthinking texts, questioning your intuition, wondering if you're being too sensitive, or asking whether your relationship is healthy or toxic, this episode is for you.In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, MSW candidate and therapist-in-training Kaytlyn Gilner breaks down the difference between anxious attachment, relationship anxiety, and legitimate relationship red flags.Social media often labels every disagreement, uncomfortable feeling, or trigger as "toxic," but healthy relationships aren't conflict-free. The real question is whether there is emotional safety, accountability, repair, curiosity, and mutual respect.Drawing from attachment theory, DBT skills, nervous system regulation, and the work of relationship experts like Dr. Sue Johnson, Kaytlyn explores how to recognize unhealthy relationship dynamics without confusing anxiety for intuition.The difference between relationship anxiety and genuine red flagsSigns of anxious attachment and hypervigilanceWhat emotional safety actually looks likeHealthy conflict vs. toxic relationship patternsWhy relationship repair matters more than perfectionHow nervous system dysregulation affects dating and relationshipsTrust, accountability, and communication in healthy partnershipsHow to stop second-guessing yourself and build self-trustIs It Anxiety or a Red Flag?https://linktr.ee/kaytlynm00:00 Why Social Media Is Confusing Relationships02:14 Red Flags vs. Relationship Anxiety05:02 Understanding Attachment Styles08:31 What Actually Makes a Relationship Healthy?12:06 Conflict Is Normal—Repair Is What Matters15:42 Emotional Safety & Nervous System Regulation19:27 Anxious Attachment, Hypervigilance & Overthinking23:11 Secure Relationships vs. Toxic Dynamics26:48 How to Know If a Relationship Is Safe30:15 Learning to Trust Yourself Again33:04 Final Thoughts on Healing & Relationships#RelationshipAnxiety #AnxiousAttachment #RedFlags #ToxicRelationships #HealthyRelationships #AttachmentTheory #DatingAdvice #DBTSkills #EmotionalSafety #TrustYourself #RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealthPodcastIn This Episode:Download the Free Guide:Chapters
Transcribe →S2E18- Is It Anxiety or Intuition? Trauma, Attachment & Relationships
2w ago00:19:58Tap to summarizeIs It Anxiety or Intuition? Trauma, Attachment & Relationships #traumahealing #intuition #relationship #dating #anxiousattachment #attachment #nervoussystemregulation How do you know if it’s your intuition… or your anxiety talking?In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn Gilner explores why so many women struggle to trust themselves in relationships, dating, and emotional decision-making — especially after trauma, attachment wounds, toxic relationships, or chronic anxiety.We discuss how trauma changes the nervous system, why hypervigilance can feel like intuition, and how societal conditioning teaches women to disconnect from their needs, emotions, and inner voice.If you constantly overthink relationships, question your instincts, struggle with anxious attachment, or feel trapped between “trusting your gut” and fear of overreacting, this episode will help you better understand the difference between anxiety, intuition, trauma responses, and emotional dysregulation.Kaytlyn also breaks down practical DBT-informed tools for emotional regulation, nervous system healing, self-trust, and accessing “wise mind” — the balance between emotion and logic.Topics Include:• Anxiety vs intuition• Trauma and hypervigilance• Nervous system dysregulation• Women’s mental health• Attachment styles and relationships• Emotional regulation• DBT skills and wise mind• Self-trust after trauma• Relationship anxiety• Healing anxious attachment• How trauma impacts perception• Women and societal conditioningRESOURCES:FREEBIE- DBT-Informed Guide: “Is It a Red Flag or My Anxiety?”https://linktr.ee/kaytlyngilnerDeepen Your Healing with the DBT Workbook:https://linktr.ee/kaytlyngilnerIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone navigating healing, anxiety, attachment wounds, or relationship confusion.#anxiety #intuition #trauma #attachmentstyles #dbt #mentalhealth #relationships #healing #emotionalregulation #selftrust #podcast #womenmentalhealth #relationshipanxiety #notsodumbblondeCHAPTERS:00:00 Anxiety vs Intuition Explained02:11 Why Women Struggle to Trust Themselves04:37 Trauma, Hypervigilance & Relationship Anxiety07:22 How Trauma Changes the Nervous System10:08 Societal Conditioning & Women’s Emotional Needs13:02 Why Dysregulation Feels Like Intuition15:46 DBT Skills, Wise Mind & Emotional Regulation18:31 How to Rebuild Self-Trust After Trauma21:10 Practical Tools for Relationship Clarity23:42 Final Thoughts on Healing & Intuition
Transcribe →S2E17-5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed & How Parents Can Help
3w ago00:47:18Tap to summarize5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed | Teen Depression, Mental Health & Parenting SupportHow do you know if your teenager is struggling with depression — and what should you do about it?In this episode of Not So Dumb Blonde, Kaytlyn sits down with pediatric psychologist Dr. Jessica Rabon to discuss the warning signs of teen depression, how parents can support adolescent mental health, and why early intervention matters. They explore how depression and anxiety show up differently in teens, the impact of social media and COVID-19 on adolescent development, and how parents can create safer conversations around mental health.If you’re a parent, caregiver, therapist, teacher, or someone who works with teens, this episode offers practical tools, therapy insights, and mental health resources to better understand teenage depression and emotional well-being.Topics Covered:✔️ 5 signs your teen may be depressed✔️ Teen anxiety and behavioral warning signs✔️ Parenting and adolescent mental health✔️ How to talk to teens about depression✔️ Suicide prevention and crisis resources✔️ Therapy approaches for teenagers✔️ The impact of COVID and social media on teens✔️ Mental health support for families⸻✨ FREE RESOURCES + LINKS ✨📌 American Foundation for Suicide Preventionhttps://afsp.org/📌 The Trevor Projecthttps://www.thetrevorproject.org/📌 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifelinehttps://988lifeline.org/📌 Affordable Therapy Resources — Open Path Collectivehttps://openpathcollective.org/🎙️ Dr. Jessica Rabon’s Podcast — Psych Talkhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psych-talk/id154123456⸻CONNECT WITH DR. JESSICA RABON:Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/jessicaleephdTikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@jessicaleephdYouTube → https://www.youtube.com/c/PsychTalk⸻ABOUT NOT SO DUMB BLONDE:Not So Dumb Blonde is a mental health and psychology podcast hosted by MSW student Kaytlyn Gilner, focused on trauma, relationships, women’s mental health, emotional regulation, DBT skills, and healing in a world that often tells women to shrink themselves.Subscribe for weekly conversations on:🧠 Mental health🩷 Trauma healing🎙️ Therapy insights👩👧 Family dynamics✨ Emotional growth & relationships⸻TIMESTAMPS / CHAPTERS00:00 Introduction to Dr. Jessica Rabon01:21 How Dr. Rabon Got Into Pediatric Psychology04:10 Why Helping Teens Matters05:20 Understanding Adolescent Brain Development06:42 Parent-Teen Relationships & Therapy Dynamics08:23 Behavioral Changes Parents Should Notice10:32 Common Signs of Teen Depression14:11 COVID-19’s Impact on Teen Mental Health14:29 5 Signs Your Teen Might Be Depressed19:24 How Depression Looks Different in Boys vs Girls21:17 How to Talk to Your Teen About Mental Health23:56 Therapy Resources for Teens & Parents27:29 Effective Therapy Approaches for Teen Depression30:39 Serious Behavioral Issues & Safety Concerns34:04 Family Communication & Family Therapy35:30 Teen Suicide Prevention & Crisis Support40:01 Why We Need to Normalize Mental Health Conversations42:20 Mental Health Advocacy & Crisis Resources43:14 Final Thoughts on Supporting Teen Mental Health⸻#TeenDepression #MentalHealth #ParentingTeens #TeenMentalHealth #DepressionAwareness #TeenAnxiety #Therapy #Psychology #SuicidePrevention #Parenting #AdolescentMentalHealth #MentalHealthPodcast
Transcribe →S2E16-Flashback Episode: Navigating Attachment Styles and Relationship Patterns With Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
May 600:41:08Tap to summarizeJoin us for an insightful and engaging episode as we sit down with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a leading psychologist and relationship expert. Get ready to explore the world of attachment styles and discover how they shape our love connections.Dr. Tracy shares practical advice for cultivating healthy and successful relationships. From communication tips to nurturing intimacy, her wisdom is both enlightening and applicable to all aspects of your love life.Connect with Dr. Tracy on her social media @drtracyd for a treasure trove of additional relationship gems. And while you're at it, don't forget to follow us @notsodumbblondespodcast to stay up-to-date with our latest episodes.Get ready to level up your relationship game and embrace a journey of love, laughter, and lasting connections. Enjoy!
Transcribe →S2E15-Narcissistic Parents and How it Affects Dating & Attachment in Adulthood
Apr 2900:47:27Tap to summarizeHOST LINKSInstagram: @notsodumbblonde_podTikTok: @ItsTherapyKayStop Sabotaging Your Relationship Workbook: https://linktr.ee/kaytlynmEPISODE SUMMARYIn this episode, Kaytlyn Gilner interviews David Weeks, an expert in healing from complex trauma and narcissistic family dynamics.They break down what narcissism actually looks like within families, how these dynamics impact identity and relationships, and the long-term effects of emotional abuse.They also explore common roles within narcissistic family systems—such as the golden child and scapegoat—and share practical, realistic steps toward healing and recovery.If you’ve ever questioned your family dynamics or are navigating CPTSD, this episode will help you better understand your experience and feel less alone.KEY TOPICSNarcissistic family dynamicsImpact of narcissistic abuse on childrenTrauma bonds and healing strategiesFamily roles: golden child, scapegoat, truth seerTriangulation and control in narcissistic familiesKEYWORDSnarcissistic family, complex trauma, CPTSD, narcissistic personality disorder, emotional abuse, trauma healing, attachment, trauma bondsGUESTDavid WeeksGUEST LINKSInstagram: @djweeks_Website: https://traumaiam.comRESOURCESTrauma I Am: https://traumaiam.comDavid’s Instagram: https://instagram.com/djweeksCHAPTERS00:00 Introduction to Narcissism and Trauma Healing02:37 Understanding Narcissism05:09 Growing Up in Narcissistic Families07:47 Golden Child vs Scapegoat10:36 Day-to-Day Family Dynamics24:03 Attachment and Isolation26:33 Triangulation Explained30:33 Speaking Up and Backlash34:05 Impact on Adult Relationships39:55 Practical Healing Tips
Transcribe →S2E14-NPD vs BPD: Same Behavior, Different Intent (Impact, Rage & Relationships)
Apr 2700:14:45Tap to summarize🎙️ Episode Type: Interview🎯 Primary Goal: Educational🧠 SummaryThis episode breaks down the nuanced differences between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), with a focus on one key concept: intent vs impact.Hosted by Kaytlyn Gilner, therapist-in-training, this conversation explores how trauma, behavior, and diagnosis intersect—and why two behaviors that look the same can come from very different places.🔑 KeywordsNPD, BPD, mental health, trauma, diagnosis, intent vs impact, therapy, narcissistic abuse, emotional regulation, healing📌 Key Topics• Differences between NPD and BPD• Intent vs impact in behavior• The role of trauma in personality disorders• DSM-5 diagnostic criteria• Therapy, healing, and change💡 Takeaways• Impact alone doesn’t tell you someone’s intent• Understanding intent can reduce misdiagnosis and stigma• Trauma often underlies behaviors in both NPD and BPD• These diagnoses involve complex emotional patterns—not just labels• Change and growth are possible🎤 GuestKaytlyn Gilner🎧 Title Options• NPD vs BPD: Same Behavior, Different Intent• NPD vs BPD: Intent vs Impact Explained• Understanding NPD vs BPD: Trauma, Rage & Misdiagnosis🎙️ Sound Bites“Impact alone does not reveal the intent behind behavior.”“People with BPD often feel a lot of shame and guilt.”“People with NPD can change and grow, despite common beliefs.”⏱️ Chapters00:00 NPD vs BPD: Why Intent Matters09:09 Diagnostic Criteria Explained13:23 Trauma & Personality Disorders14:05 Final Thoughts📚 ResourcesDSM-5 Diagnostic Criteriahttps://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsmDialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)https://behavioraltech.org/what-is-dbt/Kaytlyn Gilnerhttps://kaytlyngilner.com/
Transcribe →