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Rob
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Cutter
Not today.
James
I feel like we got energy today because it's so cold out.
Cutter
Ah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Like literally. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good word.
James
I'm just like, yeah, I'm ready.
Cutter
Yeah, I'm very. I feel like my eyes are wide as.
James
Yeah, you can't chill outside today.
Cutter
It's.
James
It's tough out there. Yeah. So, you know, last week we talked about you were having a rough time and, you know, we all understand that you have to let it out, but this. This clip that we saw of you, I. It's just too much. And I don't. I don't approve. You have a family at home and this is just not okay. You have the boat one. Yeah. Woke up this morning, got some guys. I mean, James, you got kids at home? Look at this.
Cutter
Do you think that that looks like me?
James
Wak.
Cutter
So many people have sent me this ch. I didn't hear the song that went with it. I got better moves than that.
James
Oh, yeah, you're better than that chick.
Cutter
I'm half Cuban. Yeah, my hips move way better than that.
James
Whoa. All right. Dancing does look like me.
Cutter
Tell me honestly, I'm not offended. I think she's a beautiful woman, but.
James
Like, how could you get offended?
Cutter
Look like me.
James
Well, I'll tell you, it reminds me of Meadow Soprano. Like, it doesn't remind me of you. Right, but it like, somehow I had.
Cutter
A lot more meat in my bones.
James
But also it's like I could see the sunglasses. The what? Do you have a little white claw.
Cutter
White claw with a striped straw.
James
How does Cutter feel about this? Have you seen this already?
Cutter
Yeah, I actually showed it to Cutter the other day, cuz somebody sent it to me on Instagram and I was watching it in the car with him and I was like, does this look like me? And he's like, I mean, I see it.
James
Yeah.
Cutter
He's like, I wish it was you. Meaning he wishes I was drunk on a boat in a bikini.
James
But. But you got better moves. You told him? Did you tell him you got better move?
Cutter
I would hope he would know.
James
Yeah, I hope.
Cutter
I wouldn't have.
James
I think he knows about that. So that song wasn't with it. The original soprano song was with it. But I didn't want to get us copyrighted. Oh, so that's like another version. Can you play that song? Can you play just the song again, please? It's so good.
Chad
Woke up this morning, got some gabago. And then I woke up the next.
Rob
Day and got some.
James
A gabagoo. Keep waking up, keep getting different types of gabagoo out.
Cutter
Could you.
James
Could you imagine if that song is actually playing while she was on the boat? That's what she was listening to.
Cutter
Oh, yeah. Well, you know, everybody's got to let loose sometimes.
James
Yeah. So something I. I'm taking this thing right now, and it says, take on an empty stomach. What does that mean to you?
Cutter
No food or water.
James
So you have to take it, like, first thing when you wake up, and then you can't. That's it. Right.
Cutter
And then you wait a couple minutes, like.
James
Right, but I'm just saying. But I'm saying, like, you can't take something like, you know, shortly after dinner. Like. Like when I see empty stomach, I'm like, oh, this has to be before any food.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
So I look at this thing and it says, you have to. You have to take it three times a day. And it says, take on an empty stomach. I said, listen, I only have an empty stomach at one point in the day. It's before I eat my giant meal.
Cutter
Or before you go to bed. Kind of.
James
Kind of. But so I'm like, how is this possible? So we googled it, and it turns out, take on an empty stomach. This. This was mind blowing to me. Take on an empty stomach means you haven't eaten in two hours.
Cutter
Oh, because the food has gone into the intestines now.
James
Not when Robbie's eaten. You see what happens in my age.
Cutter
Size of your stomach.
James
Well, you know what? You know what we should do? We should have me eat while I'm like, on a CAT scan, like an X ray or something, and watch how long it takes to digest. I bet it's 10 times longer than anybody else.
Cutter
But you'd have to be lying down, right?
James
Yeah. We got to get a standing.
Cutter
Standing.
James
Standing X ray.
Cutter
Just a stomach right on top of it.
James
Yeah. While I eat for an hour and a half. And then they. We watch and see how long it digests. What does it say up there?
Cutter
At least one hour before eating. Well, but you don't know when you ate last or two hours after eating.
James
Yeah, that's what I googled. That's insane to me. Before you guys saw this back there, when you heard take on an empty Stomach. Is this what it meant to you?
Rob
You mean don't eat or drink anything?
James
That's what I thought it would mean, but this is. It says two hours after eating is considered having an empty stomach. I never thought that. I thought empty stomach was like, you wake up, you have an empty stomach.
Rob
Yeah, I guess I never thought about the time frame in which you need an empty stomach.
James
Is this your.
Rob
The day of. Before I take it?
James
Yeah. Like, if it says if. It says when. When the thing said, take this three times a day and make sure it's always on an empty stomach. I'm like, that's impossible.
Rob
Oh, three times a day?
James
Yeah.
Rob
That's crazy.
Cutter
Well, I know when, then you can do it. You can do it right when you wake up then, right before you go to the gym.
James
That's not even four hours. It's what you have to take four hours in between.
Cutter
That's not four hours. Right. When you get back from the gym.
James
But then I eat right away.
Cutter
Yeah, but you're cooking for a minute.
James
I just. I was just blown away that I was like, I didn't think you had an empty stomach three times a day. I thought you have an empty stomach once a day when you wake up, and then your stomach is not empty anymore.
Cutter
Right. I got what you're saying, Rob.
Rob
Don't you eat, like, just one big meal a day?
James
Right. And that's what I'm saying. Like, four hours after I eat my big meal, I don't think I have an empty stomach.
Rob
Yeah.
James
Because I'm full to the mess.
Cutter
Your parasite cleanse.
James
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cutter
How's that going? Any worms yet?
James
Nothing. Because you did a parasite cleanse where it was. You drank milk for seven days.
Cutter
Yes.
James
Nothing else. And so I wanted to try a parasite cleanse because I saw my friends were showing me these videos that was like, you could poop out worms.
Cutter
Like you checking the poopy every day.
James
I'm checking the poop. I got no worms. No worms, no parasites, no nothing I want. That's the only reason I'm doing it.
Cutter
Parasite.
James
This one. You don't really. You don't really have to change. Oh.
Cutter
What do you think?
James
You hear that? Any what?
Chad
What's that?
James
She said parasite cleanser cap, bro.
Chad
All the cleanses are cat.
Cutter
Here we go.
Chad
Y'all white people are so definitely.
Cutter
We're so stupid.
Chad
Let me eat a dried grape or whatever the. And it's gonna help me.
Cutter
Don't hate on that. That any. You ain't tried no plum. You don't know what's talking about.
Rob
Miana got her cleanse off a tick tock. And I'm like, come on.
James
Yeah, listen, when you show me videos of people pooping out worms, I'll do. I'll. I'll do it because I want to poop out. I want to get worms out.
Cutter
You know what? But I don't know. I don't know they're able to do anything now.
Rob
Have you seen the. The bears with the worms coming out?
James
Oh, like tapeworms? Yeah, yeah.
Rob
Like three feet long.
James
Yeah, yeah.
Chad
See, like if you ate in the woods. Okay, right. You know, now we're talking. Maybe you need a little something maybe to clean yourself. But like, bro, come on.
James
No, but this. Did they say when?
Cutter
You know, I will say, though. When I fish. Yes, you get worms. When I would get. When I lived in LA and they'd have all like the farmers markets and all like, you know, and people would literally, like, cut their produce off and bring it right to the farmer's market. And you would wash it. I remember washing like, a head of broccoli and there was worms in it.
James
How do you feel about that, any? You're saying Jamie's cap. Jamie's. Jamie's cap, huh?
Cutter
Why would. Why would I not have. Why would I be lying about a worm in my broccoli?
James
Any? I got a new. I got a new water. I got a new water bottle for you to zoom in on when I. When I drink. You ready?
Cutter
No plastic for Robbie. No more plastic in his testicles.
James
How's that? You need a wide lens for this one.
Chad
I got you.
James
There was a guy, a football coach, Jim Harbaugh, and he says that he remembers the day he was born. Like, he remembers being born.
Cutter
Cool.
James
He remembers all that.
Cutter
I love football coaches.
James
Oh, the best. What is. What's the first thing. Any. Do you think that's Cap? You think he remembers being born? 100% cabin. Unless.
Chad
Unless he got that photographic memory type shit right. If he's that dude, then fine, he got like that infinite storage glitch. But if not, then that's good.
James
If he's a football coach, he probably has something similar because I have cte.
Cutter
I have photographic memory of my first birthday.
James
Wait, you think football coaches have cte?
Chad
I mean, they played, didn't they?
James
Not all of them. He's like a scrawny white guy.
Chad
You hear that? Go ahead. Yeah, but this particular one did play.
James
Yeah. Jim Harbaugh. Yeah. You. You win any what? Go ahead. What'd you say?
Cutter
I said I have a. I have picture memories of my first birthday.
James
Really?
Cutter
Yeah.
James
And it's not from photos you saw after what happened at your first birthday?
Cutter
I can remember, like, I remember, like, walking to my dad and, like, him picking me up. I can remember the feeling that it felt like in my dad's arms. Like, I loved my dad when I was, like, a little baby. Like, he was, like, my favorite. And I can, like, remember that very vividly. And then other memories when I'm three, I can remember my brother was, like, spinning me around, like, holding my arms, and he let go, and I just, like, hit the. You know when you hit the ground so hard and, like, the wind gets knocked out of you? And I remember being so terrified of that feeling and, like, wanting to cry, but, like, no sound coming out.
James
Yeah.
Cutter
And, like, that fear. I have a very vivid memory of that. And I checked in with my brothers, and they're like, oh, yeah, that. That happened.
James
That happened every day. Yeah. When do you feel like you start where you can go back and, like, real. You remember, like.
Cutter
So I'm doing. I'm doing, like, EMDR therapy right now. Like, PTSD type therapy, and we're, like, trying to take it back to my childhood, and I am having a very hard time with it. Like, getting to, like, the root of things. Like, there's blocks, which is, like, the point of this.
James
Right. And you're also writing a book, so you have to go back to. Right. And you're not. What is hard? When does it get fuzzy?
Cutter
Like, between 5 and 10 is very fuzzy for me.
James
Yeah. I feel like I have. I have, like, three photos in my head, and then I'm nine. Like, I don't. I don't remember.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
Being a kid.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
Like, being a baby.
Cutter
Do you think that's because you were trying to block things out, or is it. Do you think it's the drugs? Like, did you ever have a memory of that before?
James
No, I never had a memory, but there is a famous photo of me that my. My dad has. I think I was, like, six months old, and I'm in a baby carriage with a can of Budweiser. And. And. And he remembers holding that can. No, but I think that might have been, you know, like, I think, like, I think my grandparents were like, yeah, you put brandy on the. On the pacifier. And then they stop either. I don't know. They had, like, this whole. I think I might have been. I think I might have been drinking before.
Cutter
Drunk through your childhood.
James
I remember one time my dad, they. They for his Christmas present at his job, they gave him, like, a bottle of whiskey.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
And I was young, and I remember, like, he gave me some, and he was like, yeah, here. And I was young, young. Like, I don't even know. Yeah, like, really, like, definitely not 10.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
Like. Yeah. And he was like, yeah, because he. He was taking shots of it, and then he was like, yeah, here, have some. And I remember being like, oh, like, that's warm. Like, I remember drinking and being like, that's fucking warm.
Cutter
That was your first reaction, was, it's warm. Not. It's disgusting. It burns.
James
No. Yeah, it's warm. I was. Listen, I had a tough childhood. I was looking for warmth, you know, And I found some in. In a bottle. What. What are the first memories you guys have?
Rob
I have, like, just kind of vague, fuzzy memories of. I remember a big dog in, like, an orange Popsicle. But also, I do remember when I was, like, 6 or 7, when I found out that someday I would die. Oh, yeah?
Cutter
Why did that. What? Tell me about that.
Rob
I was at my grandma's, and, like, my cousins told me, and I didn't believe them at first. And then I asked my grandma, and she said, yeah, it's true. I thought you just died, like, you know, getting hit by a bus or something. And then I, you know, found out. Nope, everyone.
Cutter
That was a more comforting thing for you, that someday you would just get nailed by a bus?
Rob
Well, I thought if I could avoid buses enough, I'd be fine and live forever. Yeah. Yeah.
Cutter
But you knew you would get old.
Rob
I don't know if I had a concept of that. I knew my grandma was old.
Cutter
So you thought maybe she was just an old person and you were going to be, like, forever a young person?
Rob
Yeah, I think when you're young, you don't really.
Cutter
Yeah, yeah.
Rob
I mean, even now, it's hard to conceptualize myself as an old guy.
Cutter
I mean, if I think about it like. So Jack is seven. Just turned seven. And he. When he was, like, five, six, he. He. He went through a period of asking me a lot, like, how old are you? When are you gonna die? Like, like. Or if I would get, like, sick or a cold. Like, does this mean you're gonna die? Like, there was, like, a good, like, one to two months where, like, a lot of his focus and questions were around, well, does that mean that you're dying? Because he just needed to, like.
James
And what would you tell him? How do you comfort a kid?
Cutter
No, I don't think so. No. Like, it's like, I. Well, I was like, you know, most people get to live till they're very old, but sometimes things happen. Like, you know, I had a brother pass away very young. Like, different things like that. That things happen, but there's no reason for us to believe that that's going to happen to us.
James
I feel like you're calling might be like a podcast or. We do it. We could do it here, guys. Our email. Not today, pal. Podcast@gmail.com. phone number 512-387-1880. I feel like people who have kids and their kids ask them, like, tough questions. They don't know how to answer it. I feel like you're fudgeing great at it.
Cutter
That's so nice of you to say. Well, here's the thing. I, like, have. I, like, have my kind of, like, Cuban fiery reaction, and then I come back with, like, my okay, therapies. Yeah.
James
Answer. Can you think of a. Can you think of, like, even five years ago whenever. Like, can you think of bad answers you've given your kids?
Cutter
You like, lying, like, to make them.
James
Or just where if they ask you some? Because I remember. I don't know if we could even say this on YouTube, but I remember we were at. It was like, me, you, your son, and Cutter were in the kitchen, and somehow, like, it. You. You, like, gasped, and you were like. And you're like, oh, my God, this person just died. And we're all like, oh, no. And then, like, me or Cutter were like, how do you die? And you were like, oh, suicide. And then your son was like, what's suicide? And I've never seen Cutter walk away so fast. He instantly turned his back to him and just walked into the other room. And you were like. Well, like. And. And I don't. I don't even remember what you said.
Cutter
He did that to me recently about sex, because Beau was like, I know what sex is. And next thing I know, Cutter's gone. And I'm like, what the. Like, he should be the one to, like, have that convo with him.
James
Yeah, but you don't want Cutter sitting there talking to his son about how he doesn't get any. You know, that's probably what it would turn into. Come on. I gotta take Cutter's side.
Cutter
Sometimes he gets plenty.
James
Do. Do you think so you can't think of any. Like, there were any times where you were like, fuck, like that. Like, that didn't go well?
Cutter
Yeah, a lot. Well, like yesterday, Beau, he. He's had some things that are very mature and Hard to understand that he feels since the hospital. And I've tried to explain to him that like kids can't understand it. He had a moment where he tried to explain it to some friends at school and it backfired. It went really bad for him. And there was a. At first my re. I told him I was like, bo, you have too high expectations of like how people need to react to you and you're always going to be disappointed. And like I just, just was getting frustrated with him because I told him this so many times and like, I hate that he had to feel that pain, but it was like. And then I realized later I'm like, ah. That was kind of like a up thing to say to like an 11 year old kid who's like struggling to make sense of stuff. So then later last night I, you know, sat him down and I was like, tell me what you want to tell me. Like tell me what you feel. And he looked at me and he said, if I was you, I wouldn't believe what I'm telling you right now. And like, because he prefaced that I was like, oh. And like he told me what he told me and I was like, well then I'm going to choose to believe you because I can't imagine what it's like walking through the world and have something feel so true to you and that like everyone's telling you you're crazy for believing it. Like, who am I to say that he didn't have a near death experience? He did.
James
Well, he did.
Cutter
Yeah, he did. And so I think, and then what I said to him is I was like, I think I'm going to have to. You and I maybe can just figure out this group of people that you can feel safe to talk to about this if you need to. But like other 11 year old boys is just not the audience for you in this moment because they're just gonna make you feel crazy and weird. And I don't want him to feel that way. But maybe that's also just like part of his journey. I don't know. It's a hard thing with a parent to know like when to just kind of let them figure it out and then like when to intervene, you know what I mean? So I've definitely not always reacted in the best way. I definitely made him feel pretty shitty about it when he first came home from school.
James
But you should do a cutter doesn't just walk away and then he'll just be left standing alone and he'll have to figure it out.
Cutter
What Cutter does best.
James
Yeah, you. What did he think sex was when he's like, I know what sex is?
Cutter
I asked. Well, he. He. I said, what do you think it is? And he said, a penis in a vagina. And I was like, yeah, about all I know. And he kind of was like. Like, not, like, into it. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, listen, that's. That's how you get a baby. And he's like, oh, like, I don't want to do that till college. I was like, yeah, even later, bro. Great. And I was like, there's so many other things you can do. You can talk to dad about that. Like, there's so many other things that you can do with another person. That's it. That's. Yep. Daddy's favorite.
James
Daddy's favorite. Yeah. He takes after his father.
Cutter
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James
Yeah, you know, we were just talking that. This was just something that I wrote down because we were just talking about it, but when we're talking about death and everything, it's weird to bring it back now, but they said, like, I read this thing that said humans are the only thing that know that it's gonna die.
Cutter
Really? Animals don't know.
James
Like, animals don't know. They just think, like, yeah, we're just living this life. And, wow. Life is.
Cutter
The animals know when another animal is, like, preying on them and wants to eat them.
James
Yeah. Which is, you know, oh, my God. What? I don't know what, but I don't know if I don't I'm sure they know, like, death is possible, but I don't think they know, like, oh, eventually, like. Like what Chad was talking about. Right? Like, I'm just gonna. That's why I don't go in the ocean. People go in the ocean and just like. Like, I was in Mexico one time and there was a guy. There's a guy every morning who would swim out whatever, 100 yards, and he would swim for 30 minutes this way and 30 minutes away. And like that. To me, that guy has a gamble. 50, 50 every time. Yeah. It's like, that's.
Cutter
Is that, like, known shark waters there?
James
I think all water to me is known shark water.
Cutter
You wouldn't even get in the lake, of course.
James
Yeah. No, I go in the ocean, but I go in, I get out. I'm not like, I'm going to swim for an hour a day and do laps.
Cutter
Right. You know, I mean, you're increasing your chances.
James
Yeah. I think that's not our home. The ocean, that's the fucking shark. Like, you watch one video of a shark fucking eating somebody and you're like, I'm good. I. I'm not. I'm not about that. So now Cutter walks away, and then he comes back. Does he go, so, what happened there? No, he doesn't even want to know.
Cutter
Just like, time for bed.
James
That's. That's the best.
Cutter
No follow up.
James
Oh. So Beau told me that he asked a girl to be his valentine.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
And that. And I was like, oh, cool. I was like, what'd you say to her? And he's like. I said, are you. Are you a keyboard? Because you're just my type. 1 want to be my valentine?
Cutter
Yeah, he's full of those.
James
Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's so bow. Yeah.
Cutter
Yeah, yeah, he's got a lot of those.
James
Are you a keyboard? Because you're just my type.
Cutter
Wow.
James
Wow. And he, like, instantly fired. Would you be my valentine? He didn't let it, like, sink in. I don't think he was just like, what do you mean, Valentine?
Cutter
He is girl crazy.
James
Yeah. But. But he doesn't want sex. Interesting. I'm kind of the opposite. Yeah. Just want sex and, like.
Cutter
But if I think back to when I was 11, I was, like, making out with kids.
James
Yeah. I'd say, I think. Yeah, that's around where it started. A little truth or dare action.
Cutter
Yeah. I had, like, a full makeout session with my fifth grade boyfriend. I can remember.
James
And that's 11 years old. Right.
Cutter
I mean, he's gonna be in middle School next year.
James
Yeah, those. Those become your first memories. We're talking about first memories, right? You remember? Yeah, I remember. I remember my first, like, make out party.
Cutter
Yeah, it was crazy.
James
I was like, I can't believe we're.
Cutter
Allowed to do that. That's the thing is, like, we used to have a lot of, like, group GE togethers, like boys and girls at somebody's house. I don't know if maybe he's just not getting invited, but, like, he's not. Like, they're not doing that. Doesn't seem all these boys here are so into sports, though. Like, their lives are sports here.
James
Yeah, but I also feel like we weren't doing a lot of group get togethers until we started smoking weed and drinking. And then it was like we all got to get together to drink and smoke, you know, so it's probably good that he's not.
Cutter
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, Course. Of course.
James
Doing that.
Cutter
I would really like it to be my house.
James
Oh, your. But then what if you. What if you know that they're making out in the other room? Like, how do you handle that?
Cutter
True, true.
James
What the. You. You hear, like, music and you. Oh, you look in the. The lights on. The lights off underneath.
Cutter
O. Wow. I have really a lot of things to look forward to, don't I?
James
My first makeout party, we were at this girl's place and there was like 10 of us and. And a couple broke off into, like, each part of her room and she put a lava lamp on and put on Santeria.
Cutter
Oh, Sublime.
James
The Sublime album. That whole album. And I remember it. That album is like, whatever, probably just under an hour. It went by in like three minutes.
Cutter
Oh, everybody just made out to the album.
James
It was dark and you had like. Everybody had like a blanket or a sheet or whatever. And we were like, messing around and you were like. And I was like, yo, this is crazy. And it's crazy how fast, even at whatever we were 11, 12, that you forgot, or maybe 12, 13, you forgot that there were other people in the room. Like, you come out of the. Like, the record ends and like, you come out and you're like, oh, ew. There's like 10 people in this room. Like a small room in New York City.
Cutter
You know what you got to do, what you got to do. You don't have a lot of options.
James
You have to. Yeah, it was the park or someone's place when their parents were gone.
Cutter
Right.
James
That was. Was there any better news when you're like 13 or 14? I was like, My parents are going away for the weekend. That was. There was nothing better for me to hear.
Cutter
I told you, I had one party in high school. One time my parents. My parents never left town. One time my parents left town and it blew up. Like, other towns in Long island had heard about it. Kids parked on my lawn, like, and somebody had brought pot brownies. And I didn't know that they were pot brownies. Yeah, you know the story. And I ate, like, two or three, and I freaked the out.
James
It's so funny because, like, when I was. When I would have, like, my place, when it's like, oh, you place yourself. It's like, how can I get as high as possible? And Jamie's, like, looking for snacks. Like.
Cutter
Yeah, it's like stress eating.
James
Yeah. It's like the most epic party in the history of Long Island. And you're like, are there brownies around? Like, that's crazy.
Cutter
I was, like, vacuuming my floor, like, Magda. And something about Mary, you know when she's, like, all high and, like, you're like, Cutter.
James
Yeah, like, Cutter at Jack's birthday party.
Cutter
Now, Cutter made everybody leave Jack's birthday party, like, 40 minutes into the party. Like, all right, that was enough, right?
James
He said he started cleaning up like.
Cutter
30 minutes into the party. Cutter, people are here still.
James
He said some dad texted him, was like, man, you really put on a clinic today how to do a birthday party. Yeah, he's like, as soon as. Like, somebody would have half a drink, you'd be like, you done with this?
Cutter
Like, true. People drove all the way to the party with their kids, presents, and 35 minutes later, cut her ass. Everybody to leave.
James
That's. I remember there was. I forget whose birthday it was, but, like, he was coming over to me and you together, and he'd be like, they're eating brownies in the living room. Like.
Cutter
Or whatever they had eating people over swim one day.
James
Yeah. And he's like, they're eating. They're. They're eating chips in the living room, like. And they were just like, oh. He was so. Wait, so what's. So how far out do you find out your parents are going. Going away?
Cutter
I think like a week.
James
And you have two brothers and they're.
Cutter
Brian was in college. Two. No, two. Old Brian was in college. Adam was still living at home. Adam walked through my party in a towel. He had showered and walked through the party.
James
In a town, of course.
Cutter
And then actually, I found out later, Adam is. Who called the cops.
James
Really? Wow, that's such a new layer To Adam for me. Wow. Okay. So. So it was only you planning this party.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
And in your head you're gonna have.
Cutter
How many people over 20, 30.
James
And it turned into 100. At least 100. And when did you get the first, like, murmurs of, hey, this is getting a little out of hand.
Cutter
When every corner of my house was filled with a person, like, everyone. And then some chick I knew from, like, dance class that lived like 25 minutes away was there. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing here? She's like, I heard there was a party in Jericho.
James
Wow. So are people, like, breaking shit? Does it get bad or. It was.
Cutter
It wasn't so much. You know, I did prepare. Like, we had had a whole, like, photo wall thing. I took every photo down and had put them away in, like, my parents closet. I had locked my parents room. I had. And then we cleaned. Like, my friend stayed and helped me clean up. What honestly gave it away was a friend of mine cleaned our hardwood kitchen floor with pledge.
James
I don't know what that does.
Cutter
Liquid pledge. Pledge is what you use for wood furniture, not wood floor. So it made it like an ice skating rink, like, slippery. So if you walked in, you would. That gave it away.
James
Yeah, we. I remember my. My apartment, when my mom would come back would smell better than when she left. So that's how she knew, because we had.
Cutter
So what we would do is too clean in here.
James
Yeah. So you take. You buy. There's a thing, I. I think it's called boof. A boof. Where, like, you. You take a paper towel roll and you put. You put.
Cutter
Isn't that something else?
James
Well, there is boofing, which is some. That's up your butt. That's something else.
Cutter
You blow cocaine up your butt, Something like that.
James
Yeah, you blow. There's something. But then this thing was called boofing back in the day where you take a booty boo. Yeah, Booty boofing is a different thing. This is so. Oh, no, sorry. Maybe it's a spoof. That's what it was called. So you take a paper towel roll or a toilet paper roll and you fill it with dryer sheets. And when you smoke weed, you blow the smoke through there and it comes out smelling like the dryer sheets instead. Yeah. So what we'd all do is we would get like 20 ounce sodas and we'd poke holes in the bottom of it. You fill those with dryer sheets. And then we would just hold anybody. You could smoke 10 blunts in a row in here. You just have to blow every one into the dryer. So you're just. You're smoking, but you're also just inhaling. Dryer sheet.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
Smoke and get. And so, like, you're so fucked up and you just smell like a floral rob.
Cutter
I think a paradise, a parasite cleanses is a minimum of what you need to clean out this.
James
Yeah.
Cutter
Years of.
James
I wish they could just turn me inside out and scrape whatever's inside me and then push me back somehow. Yeah. What did it say about boofing is when you blow something up someone's asshole or something. Oh, oh. Excuse you.
Chad
Slang term for inserting drugs or alcohol into your anus to alcohol immediate high or avoid the risks of other methods of administration.
Cutter
Well, I guess if somebody's, like, snorted cocaine for too long and, like, destroyed their nose.
James
Yeah.
Cutter
Gotta go up the poop.
James
I never shoved anything up the ass.
Chad
Is like. That's how you get, like, alcohol poisoning, right?
James
Yeah, they did that with alcohol poisoning. Isn't cap like people would, like, pour.
Cutter
Alcohol in the butt? Like, what, through, like, a funnel or something?
James
Yeah, that's Stevo did that in Jackass. He literally took a funnel, put it in his butt, and poured beer in there.
Chad
Telling you, man, why people are bored as fuck.
James
Yeah, it's crazy. Well, also, he made tens of millions of dollars pouring beer in his butt.
Cutter
So I can think of a lot of other ways to try and make tens millions of dollars. Or I'd rather just not have tens of millions of dollars.
James
Alcohol enema.
Chad
That wouldn't do. One booth. One booth of what? One booth of alcohol? Yeah, like, say, like an ipa. We're just gonna pour that in there for how much? I'll say, like 500k.
Cutter
Is there any, like, possible permanent damage that can happen to me from this?
James
You got. You get really cool.
Chad
We all want you to do it.
James
You'd be on ymh.
Chad
J me. J me.
Cutter
Honestly, I'm gonna say no, because that would for sure end up being the thing that I end up being most famous for. And I just can't do that anymore. I can't do that to myself.
James
What do you think? What is your price?
Cutter
I need to know if there's irreplaceable damage that will be.
James
Well, Steve O.
Chad
Did it.
James
Steve O Did it. He's fine.
Cutter
He is not fine.
Chad
Looks great.
James
Yeah, he's doing great. So what, you might wake up with a tattoo of a penis on your chest or whatever he has, you know.
Cutter
What would you do it for? I mean, could this with his sobriety.
James
That's what I'd be. That's what is the big problem.
Chad
Definitely.
James
Yeah. For sure. I'd be drunk.
Cutter
Oh, you'd get drunk?
James
Yeah.
Chad
Oh, you get, like, really. That's why I really get alcohol poisoning, because I think it's, like, more. What is it? Absorb.
James
Yeah.
Rob
Accelerates it.
James
If we're saying I walk away with 500,000 in my pocket, I think I do it.
Chad
Yeah, but, like, so. And hold on, Jamie. I'm not saying filming it. I'm just saying doing it, period. No, no. No one knows about it. It's just.
James
Yeah, just cut her in the room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cutter
Who's paying me? So this is a private show, and he's ballin.
Chad
I got you 500.
James
What do you think?
Cutter
You know, I do anything for you.
James
How sweet. How. When you were in. When you were in Disney, you just came back from Disney. Tell me about the food. How bad. Oh, how bad is the food in Disneyland?
Cutter
I barely ate, so let's.
James
You. You went to Disney for how long?
Cutter
Three days of parking, like, doing the park.
James
Oh, okay. Yeah. I didn't even.
Cutter
Okay.
James
Yeah. Three. That's probably what they call it, those Disney lovers. So you do three days of parking.
Cutter
Yeah.
James
You get there. What is. I want to know, like, the first sense of food you get.
Cutter
First, we went to this restaurant in the hotel with my brother and all his kids and my parents, and it was just chicken fingers, burgers, fries, Caesar salads, whatever.
James
And bad versions of those things, of course.
Cutter
I got some. Like, because I had been eating so well, I got this, like, basic bitch salad and then, like, made my own, like, kind of dressing from, like, things that they had. But it's really hard to eat there. Like, everything is fried. Everything.
James
And it's fried and gross. Like, sometimes you go like, hey, these are amazing chicken fingers. This burger is great. You go. I remember the last time I was at Disney was probably 15 years ago. The burgers were so fucking disgusting.
Cutter
Yeah, it's bad.
James
Like, so, like, worse than McDonald's.
Cutter
I ended up eating a lot of, like, pizza. Like, that was, like. Felt like the safest choice in places.
James
But bad pizza?
Cutter
I mean, it wasn't like a. Yeah, of course. But it was. You're hungry and, like, you've got to eat something. So, like, to me, that was, like, the healthiest choice was, like, bread, cheese, and sauce. I don't know. I just don't want to eat, like, meat.
James
What about when you're in the park? Like, you're in the park yeah, Pizza. Oh, my God, it's so. Wow.
Cutter
Popcorn. I got a lot of popcorn.
James
What is in that helmet?
Cutter
Chili fries. You know, that might be good, actually. I used to love a turkey leg, though.
James
Oh, yeah?
Cutter
Yeah. Cutter wouldn't let me get a turkey leg because he said he couldn't look at me eating it. But I. I really. I would have with a turkey leg for sure.
James
He. So wait, you said, I want to get a turkey leg, and he sick. Put the kibosh on it. He was like, you're not eating it.
Cutter
Watch him eat that.
James
Really?
Cutter
Don't look at me.
James
So why didn't you just get it?
Cutter
Because I was on the Rascal, you know? Cause it's, like, hard and, like, he wouldn't go get it for me. And, like, it was like. It was a. Yeah. So I needed. For me. I know.
James
I want to go with you guys. Disney next time. Just to walk around a turkey, like, the whole time.
Cutter
I get a lot of gummies.
James
Weed gummies or just gummies?
Cutter
Yeah.
James
Okay, so then you're high as fucking. You have no food.
Cutter
Well, I had. That's what I had. Like, popcorn.
James
Okay. Popcorn is okay. Yeah. Ew, look at that. What's on that sausage on that pretzel?
Cutter
Well, they have to make everything Mickey shaped.
James
What's on that pretzel?
Rob
Looks like sausage or some kind of, I don't know, hot dog or burger.
Cutter
Hot dog. It looks like a hot dog.
James
Might be some kind of Chinese thing.
Cutter
Chinese thing. That does not look like a pretty.
James
It says it's shaped for the Chinese new.
Cutter
It's a giant pretzel with cheese and hot dog on it.
James
I don't know. Some kind of Chinese kebab.
Chad
Oh, it's. It was for the year of the pig, so.
James
See? Don't. Don't.
Cutter
What are we in now? The year of the Rooster?
James
No, wait. I think I might know this.
Cutter
The snake.
James
Yeah, I think it's a snake. Anybody like it? Can we get it confirmed on that? People are telling me that 2025 is supposed to be a good year for whatever I am. The Pisces or Samesies.
Cutter
Same for Taurus. Yeah, supposed to have.
James
You're starting off real great. Things have been great in the Dijkstra house. So you can't even eat a turkey leg when you're paying thousands on vacation.
Cutter
It's 2024.
James
It's the. Yeah. How'd you know it was the year of the Snake?
Cutter
Because I'm alive and like. Like watch TV and Instagram and things like that.
James
Those. Those boys in the back look totally clueless.
Cutter
I didn't know you guys knew, right?
Chad
No, I mean, I don't know anything, so.
Cutter
Well, I guess that's part of my algorithm is like this type of.
Chad
Oh, yeah, you like zodiac.
Cutter
I like like spiritual. I like like universe.
Chad
Yeah, you like. You like the crystals? You got the crystals at home?
Cutter
I'm not a crazy crystal lady. It's not like I have them in my bag, but I got some crystals. Yeah, but like not a lot. Like four sprinkled throughout my home. It's not like aggressive.
James
And they're nice. They're like. They're bigger than this. No, they're. Yes.
Cutter
Maybe a little taller. Yeah, maybe a tiny bit. One of them. One of them. That's it.
James
Yeah, and they're wider. Yeah, she's a. She's a crystal lady, not crazy.
Cutter
I'm telling you, when the weather gets nice, I'm gonna have. We should do a party at my house. We should do a pickleball swim.
James
Well, tell them what you want to do with everyone.
Cutter
I told Zolo this already that I'm doing my birthday this year at this place here in Austin that like will. You will reenact like game shows like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy. And you can do a, like a kid version, an adult version, an X rated version. I think we should take everyone from YMH and do like, you know, Family Feud style, like verses and like I think it would be really fun day slash thing to film content.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
James
Also, there was something. You weren't here when we talked about going to the escape room. Any. What were your thoughts on the escape room?
Chad
Man, I picked that. I cheated the out of that.
James
You picked?
Chad
Man, I was bro. I was getting tired of that. I was like, hold on, this can't be that difficult to pick, right? And then I just went over and.
Rob
Just went over and ruined it for all of us.
Chad
Bam. I didn't ruin it. He said he could do that. He said he could do that. He said he could do.
Cutter
He said it wasn't the first time.
Rob
He didn't say you could do it. He said it wasn't the first time.
Chad
That means that you could do it.
Cutter
But he also didn't disqualify us. He still said congrats.
James
Well, I, I do want to say Chad made a great point because what I. I think I tried to take your side, shockingly. And I was like, well, it's like there's somebody like, it's. We're escaping. You're Escaping the room. Escape the room. But then Chad was like, yeah, but we could have just walked out at any time. Then he's like, we could have just escaped by walking out.
Chad
Wait, where could we have walked out?
Rob
You're not literally locked in. They tell us that you're. You can leave at any time.
James
It's, like, illegal to lock people in.
Chad
But you'd have to, like, ask, though, right?
Rob
No, you just walk out.
Chad
Which door could we have walked out of?
Cutter
There's like, yeah, they were all locked.
James
No, no, he did say. He was like, just so you know.
Cutter
The only door that was still open was the one that we came in.
Rob
Right.
James
But then. And then the one that you leave out of, he was. He said, like, you have to legally, like, you can't actually lock people.
Chad
But to get. But to get to the door that was behind us, I would have had to climb up a slide. I ain't doing that.
Cutter
Right, right.
James
No, because remember, the. The door right to the right of that box went back into the first room.
Chad
Yeah, the door right into the.
James
Remember the box that we couldn't figure out? You had to, like, feel, and it was like Braille, which was insane.
Rob
Yeah, you can open that. It takes you right back to the beginning.
James
Yeah, you go right back through there to the beginning.
Cutter
Can't wait to do another one.
Chad
Yeah, but see. But see, that's the wrong door is what I'm saying. You went through the. You went through the incorrect door.
Rob
You still escaped. You got out.
Chad
That's not true.
James
You.
Chad
You went through that door, which is like. That's like the bitch. Like, oh, I want to disappear and get out of this type shit. Like, you actually cheated. I just used the. The tools that were provided to me to. To go the route that they wanted me to.
Cutter
We couldn't read braille.
Chad
Yeah.
James
Yeah. Well, we didn't really had to pick.
Rob
The lock, but we paid to solve puzzles and, you know, have fun together. Not to. And we did really cheat by yourself and get out.
Chad
You trying to say you didn't have fun?
Rob
No, I had fun until that moment.
Cutter
I had a blast.
James
Wow. In. In house fighting. This is not good for the office.
Chad
I don't know what he's talking about. I had a lot of fun.
James
And then the whole time, one other question we had that you weren't here to answer, which was, what did you do from the time work ended until the escape room?
Chad
I don't. When was the escape room?
James
I don't know. Whenever we went.
Cutter
December, did we do it or November December.
Chad
So that was like the winter break.
James
No, we weren't on break. We were. We were. We came from YMH because it was the same day.
Chad
Oh, I don't remember.
James
Dude, that's because my. I was. I was 99. Sure. You were not even close to sober.
Cutter
When you couldn't believe how friendly you were.
James
I couldn't believe. I couldn't believe how nice you were. Right.
Chad
It sounds like I had a couple drinks in me.
James
That was. That's what I was saying. Is that any drunk or any high.
Chad
It's both.
James
Okay. The combo. Yeah. Obviously, if you're drinking, you're smoking too, right? Yeah. You do the vape. You do, like, the. The vape pen. Weed thing, or you just do regular weed?
Chad
Sure, if you got it.
James
Okay.
Chad
I don't really take anything out. I go drink, and then if there's stuff, I'm. You know, I'm down. But yeah, I smoke usually at home. I don't like getting too high outside.
James
Okay. Because I remember you. You walked in, you gave me a hug, and you were like, I miss you, man. And I was like, oh, this guy's on something. I was like, there's no way.
Cutter
Yeah. Rob talked about it for a while, actually.
James
Yeah. I was shocked. I was like, is this part of the. The show? Like, is this part of the room? The escape room?
Chad
Is it. Is it part of the bit? Where is the bit end? I know.
James
Yeah.
Chad
Yeah. No, that's a little. That's a little. It's a little inebriation right there.
James
Yeah. They should let. Tom should let you drink at work. I think it was good for. I think it'd be good for everyone here.
Chad
You think I need him to let me? Is that what you're saying?
James
Oh, I don't know.
Chad
Right now.
James
I'm drunk right now. All right, we will see you guys next week.
Cutter
Okay.
James
Not today.
Chad
Whoa, whoa.
Podcast Title: Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Episode: Crazy Stories From Our First House Party
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Host/Authors: Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Description: Former TV siblings from The Sopranos, Robert Iler and Jamie-Lynn Sigler, host a comedy podcast where their contrasting personalities create a dynamic and humorous atmosphere. Each week, Rob presents segments and questions tailored for Jamie, highlighting their different viewpoints and deepening their friendship through hilarious discussions.
The episode kicks off with a brief comedic exchange between Jamie and Rob, setting an energetic and light-hearted tone despite the cold weather outside.
The hosts delve into a humorous yet insightful discussion about the confusion surrounding medication instructions, specifically the term "take on an empty stomach."
They explore the challenges of adhering to such instructions, especially when balancing meals and medication schedules.
The conversation shifts to the topic of parasite cleanses, where Jamie shares her attempts to rid herself of worms through unconventional methods.
They humorously critique the effectiveness and safety of such health trends.
Rob shares a poignant memory from his childhood about learning the concept of mortality, prompting a deeper conversation about early life experiences and therapy.
Jamie opens up about her challenging childhood, including early exposure to alcohol.
The hosts discuss the difficulties of addressing complex topics like death and sex with their children, sharing personal anecdotes that blend humor with genuine concern.
Rob recounts a recent struggle with his son Beau, who is grappling with mature and challenging questions post-hospitalization.
The heart of the episode revolves around sharing wild and crazy stories from their first house parties during their youth. The anecdotes are filled with humor, reflecting on both the chaos and the camaraderie of those early social gatherings.
Rob narrates his infamous high school party where he managed to keep things under control despite the escalating number of guests and the presence of marijuana-laced brownies.
A segment explores their experiences visiting Disney, highlighting the often disappointing food options and the challenges of managing family outings.
They humorously compare the food quality to fast-food chains, sharing memories of dealing with mass-produced meals.
The hosts recount their experience with an escape room, debating whether their success was due to clever strategy or outright cheating.
The conversation highlights differing perspectives on the rules and intended experience of escape rooms.
Towards the end of the episode, the hosts discuss upcoming plans, including Cutter's birthday celebration in Austin, which promises more fun and content creation.
The episode concludes with light-hearted jokes and banter about their antics, leaving listeners with laughs and a sense of camaraderie.
Jamie on Medication Instructions:
"I never thought that. I thought empty stomach was like, you wake up, you have an empty stomach." [05:08]
Rob on Parasite Cleanses:
"Miana got her cleanse off a TikTok. And I'm like, come on." [06:49]
Cutter on Childhood Memories:
"I have a very vivid memory of that." [09:57]
Jamie on Parenting Challenges:
"I feel like you're calling might be like a podcast or. We do it." [14:08]
Cutter on Escape Room Strategy:
"I picked that. I cheated the out of that." [37:22]
Jamie Reflecting on Disney Food:
"The burgers were so fucking disgusting, worse than McDonald's." [33:05]
Jamie’s Lighthearted Sign-Off:
"I'm drunk right now. All right, we will see you guys next week." [40:58]
"Crazy Stories From Our First House Party" offers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and relatable anecdotes from Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler. Their ability to navigate through serious topics with a comedic touch provides listeners with both laughs and moments of introspection. Whether reminiscing about wild house parties, tackling parenting dilemmas, or sharing quirky vacation tales, Jamie and Rob showcase the depth and strength of their friendship, making this episode a memorable addition to their podcast series.