Debt Collecting From A Dead Guy | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Podcast Summary: Debt Collecting From A Dead Guy | Not Today, Pal

Episode Information

• Title: Debt Collecting From A Dead Guy
• Podcast: Not Today, Pal
• Hosts: Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
• Release Date: May 15, 2025

---

1. Robert Iler's Return to Acting

The episode kicks off with Robert Iler sharing his recent experience revisiting the acting world through the Netflix show Bad Thoughts. Despite his long hiatus from acting, Robert receives overwhelming praise for his performance, leading to an engaging discussion about his return.

• Robert Iler: “I have acted. It happened. [00:24]”
• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “You've managed to remain best friends despite our differences.” [00:30]

Rob reflects on the challenges of returning to acting after two decades, emphasizing the emotional toll and the repetitive nature of the craft.

• Robert Iler: “Learning lines has become a nightmare for me. I'm just sitting in a room, like alone, reading.” [02:03]

Jamie shares her experience attending the screening of Bad Thoughts, comparing the acting process to enduring a dinner with unsatisfying food, highlighting the behind-the-scenes pressures actors face.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “It was like going to a dinner with a bunch of people who you really like. And then all action. You got to act.” [02:20]

2. Discussion on Bad Thoughts and Tom's Performance

The hosts delve into their admiration for co-star Tom's acting prowess, expressing surprise at his versatility and comedic talent.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “I was very surprised about how good Tom is. I was thinking this guy could carry a comedy movie.” [02:38]

They dissect specific scenes from the show, praising Tom's ability to set the tone and bring depth to his character.

• Robert Iler: “He plays this assassin in the first one and he was fucking awesome.” [03:08]

Jamie and Rob also touch upon behind-the-scenes moments that showcase the creative process, including candid discussions of challenging or humorous scenes.

3. Personal Experiences and Social Interactions

Transitioning from acting, the conversation shifts to the personal lives of the hosts, particularly focusing on the strains of social interactions and public appearances.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “Doing career day and talking to 200 fifth graders in 20-minute increments... What it's like to be an actor.” [05:00]

Rob shares his fatigue from social gatherings, expressing discomfort with constant interactions and the pressure of maintaining varied responses to compliments.

• Robert Iler: “People are like, hey, that was good. So, hey. I'm like, I don't...” [07:11]

4. Skipping Sponsored Advertisements

Note: The segment from [07:10] to [15:43] includes sponsored advertisements for Babel, Acorns, and Ridge. This summary excludes these sections as per the request to focus on content.

5. Exploring Love on the Spectrum and Personal Reflections

Post-ad break, Jamie and Rob transition into discussing the heartfelt and impactful show Love on the Spectrum. They share their deep appreciation for the series and its portrayal of individuals on the autism spectrum.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “These people should be running the fucking world.” [12:28]
• Robert Iler: “There's a moment where there's a girl who goes on a date with another girl... it's the best show I've ever seen.” [12:58]

Their conversation highlights the show's ability to humanize and celebrate neurodiversity, advocating for a more inclusive perspective.

6. Listener Call-In: Debt Collection from a Deceased Friend

The hosts address a listener voicemail from Johnny Questions, who seeks advice on collecting a debt from a deceased friend.

• Johnny Questions: “He owed me about three grand. How do I go about asking his family to reimburse me for the money?” [18:50]

Jamie and Rob navigate the sensitive topic with humor and practicality, discussing the ethical and legal considerations involved in such a situation.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “You have to approach the family... start scouring some texts or emails.” [20:27]
• Robert Iler: “We gotta figure out how to get Johnny Questions to pay the three grand. This pod will not sleep.” [21:10]

7. Nostalgia and Personal Anecdotes

The conversation then drifts into nostalgic memories from their school days, reminiscing about lunch experiences and enduring friendships.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “I brought my own lunch most of the time. It was either a peanut butter and jelly or a roast beef and mayonnaise.” [10:00]
• Robert Iler: “Once I became the fat kid, I realized I had to become friends with the kid who brought the bagel with cream cheese every day.” [17:46]

They humorously recount the trials of school lunches, highlighting shared childhood experiences that strengthen their bond.

8. Meeting Heroes and Personal Growth

Jamie shares a touching story about her child meeting music hero Parker McCollum, illustrating the importance of dreams and perseverance.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “Bo got to meet Parker McCollum. He said, 'Young Man's Blues' goes out to my new friend, my buddy, Bo Dijkstra.” [23:40]
• Robert Iler: “They’re just gonna have a lot of kids getting sick because they want to meet their heroes.” [25:11]

This segment underscores the profound impact that role models can have on young lives and the lengths to which children will go to achieve their dreams.

9. Host Personal Struggles: Eating Disorders and Addiction

A significant portion of the episode delves into Jamie's personal struggle with an eating disorder and Rob's battle with addiction, offering candid insights into their vulnerabilities.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “I had a 25-pound difference on a 5.5. It was completely overwhelming.” [48:01]
• Robert Iler: “I was taking 15 Percocets a day. It’s like, oh, no I think about all the days…” [48:54]

They discuss the origins of their struggles, the societal pressures that exacerbated their conditions, and the long-term effects these challenges had on their lives and careers.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “Everything felt so much bigger for the first time in my life and everyone's obsession was being skinny.” [50:09]
• Robert Iler: “It's like, you got to endure without people understanding what you're going through.” [50:03]

Their openness serves as a powerful reminder of the hidden battles many face, fostering empathy and understanding among listeners.

10. Concluding Reflections and Future Episodes

As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on their enduring friendship and the journey they've shared, both professionally and personally. They hint at future episodes that will continue to explore deep and meaningful topics, maintaining the show's blend of humor and heartfelt conversation.

• Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “When you need somebody to call something out, that shows you care.” [42:32]
• Robert Iler: “But now, look what will happen.” [25:17]

The episode concludes with a sense of solidarity and commitment to addressing both lighthearted and serious subjects, promising continued engagement and support for their audience.

---

Notable Quotes:

• [00:24] Robert Iler: “I have acted. It happened.”
• [02:20] Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “It was like going to a dinner with a bunch of people who you really like. And then all action. You got to act.”
• [12:28] Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “These people should be running the fucking world.”
• [25:17] Jamie-Lynn Sigler: “When you need somebody to call something out, that shows you care.”

---

Conclusion In this episode of Not Today, Pal, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler offer a rich tapestry of conversations ranging from the intricacies of acting and personal anecdotes to profound discussions on mental health and addiction. Their dynamic chemistry and candidness provide listeners with both laughter and deep emotional connections, encapsulating the essence of their enduring friendship.

Transcript

[A]

Not today, pal.

[B]

Kapoom watch on the hat. One of the stars. Not today. So a few days ago we went to the screening of Bad Thoughts, the new Netflix show. When this comes out, it will be out.

[A]

We are Robbie's re entry into the acting world.

[B]

I have acted. It happened.

[A]

Well, it's all anybody talked about was how amazing you are.

[B]

Yeah, well, I'm there there. Of course they're gonna be. Rob, you are really good. Thank you. Yeah. Coming from Chad, I. That's. I do believe it. I mean, I thought that even in the trailer when you're running down the street, I'm like, that's some good. You know, you had real fear in your face.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I imagine.

[A]

Very real.

[B]

I imagine that's how you run here every time you're running late. Yeah. When I'm running to the bathroom in between pods. Yeah, yeah. There's no. Listen, when you have 20 years of pent up acting built up inside you, you know, something comes out. But I'm, I'm just such a, like even when I'm even at the screening. So the way that I described my experience was like. Because people were like, did you like going back to acting? And I was like, it was like going to a dinner with a bunch of people who you really like. And then the food sucks. Like I just, like, I was around Tom and these guys and we're laughing and we're having fun. Everybody is really nice. And you're like, this is a really good vibe and this is great. And then you're like all action. You got to act. And you're like, you know, you're just like, this is, this sucks. Like, this food sucks, you know, because again, it's like, you know, and again, this I'm complaining about. This is what acting is. It's like you do something one, two, three times, you're like, okay. When you're doing it for the 90th time and you're like, I walked through that door 90. I don't know, I just don't. Yeah, learning lines has become a nightmare for me. I'm just sitting in a, in a room, like alone, reading.

[A]

What's your process, learning lines?

[B]

I'm just. Well, luckily I figured something out later on. But like in the first one, it was I don't know how many pages, 11 pages. And I just sat there reading 11 pages a hundred times over and over again.

[A]

Like all the lines, all the dialogue, all the lines.

[B]

And then I would write it out because you can't just know your lines. You have to know the person line before you so you don't step over them or whatever. So when your line is supposed to come, you have to know, especially sometimes it's fast.

[A]

So you would write all the lines out, not just yours.

[B]

After, I think. I know. I would read the lines over and over and then I would write my own. So, like, you write it down and it helps and whatever, but. And I also went into this thing being like, I have to know every word, word for word. And then when you got there and you're like, oh, it's Tom and a bunch of guys who are cool, it's like, I didn't have to know every line word for word. But it's good to.

[A]

You know what I was very surprised about after the premiere was what a good actor Tom is.

[B]

Tom is good.

[A]

Yeah, Tom's a great actor. Like, I was watching the opening skit thinking this guy could carry, like a comedy movie.

[B]

Oh, for sure. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I would watch a full feature length film of him in his, like, normal, like, essence. Do you know what I mean? Like, his delivery of lines, his comedy, like, everything about it. He's a star.

[B]

Well, it's out now, so we could talk about it the second. The second skit is when he's like, in the nursing home. I thought that acting is fucking great.

[A]

Was.

[B]

Because he's like, what is.

[A]

Who did they say he was? He. Garfield. Like in great makeup. Yeah, but. But he plays this like, assassin in the first one and he was. It was fucking awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like we were talking about it before. Like, that skit really sets up like the type of ride that you're in for.

[B]

Yeah. It sets the tone to being like, this isn't your grandma's, you know, this isn't the CBS show. But yeah. And then like, you know, you don't see this stuff. But then that scene where Tom is like, you know, pretending to watch virtual porn or whatever, like where there were times where they kicked everybody out except for like me and Tom and then the camera people and the director and we're sitting there and they're just spitballing lines and like, to him. Yeah, like, what should I do this? And someone's like, jerk off a dog. And he's like, like.

[A]

So it was just all like, oh, my God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you had to play Tom's part, would you be able to do that stuff?

[B]

Oh, just. You haven't seen the whole show. We only watched three episodes. Just wait. Yeah, I.

[A]

You have to do stuff like that.

[B]

I have to do. I Jamie. I mean, what I've already done is. Yeah, I had to do.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Well, that. Yeah. Wow. Okay.

[B]

I had. Listen, I'm back in a way that's gonna surprise a lot of people.

[A]

Yeah, baby.

[B]

I don't think people are expecting that.

[A]

Put it this way.

[B]

My dad saw the episode that I did, and he said, how am I supposed to go to work now? That was his reaction? Yeah. He's like, how am I supposed to go to work? And he wasn't kidding. And I was like, good. You've been proud of me for 20 years. Not anymore.

[A]

Oh, well, I'm proud of you.

[B]

Well, thank you. Yeah, no, it was. It was fun. It was cool seeing everybody. But like, you said, this is two days ago, and you said even today. I was like, I'm tired. I'm, like, just being around socially.

[A]

Been out so much this week.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just being around here twice socially.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I'm. It drains me. I don't know what. And I'm like, sitting in a recliner at the premiere, watching a show, and I'm just like, man, I'm spent. Like, I'm just.

[A]

Well, I think it's more the talk. It's talking to a lot of people. It's like, a lot more social interaction than us. It's not that. The act of being at a place. Like, where was I yesterday? Oh, no, I just went on a girls trip. I went on a girls trip to Mexico. Great time. I love everybody I was with. But you're talking the whole time. You're in conversations the whole time. Like, when I came home, I missed Cutter, but I was like, I can't conversate anymore. I've, like, I'm hit. I've hit a wall. I'm talked out. And then I had career day today where I had to talk to 200 fifth graders in 20 minute increments. So I do it six different times. What it's like to be an actor.

[B]

You didn't say you were a podcaster.

[A]

I talked about our podcast, too.

[B]

Yeah, not this one. Talk about the other one.

[A]

I made a Google Slides presentation, and I've obviously never done that before. And, like, you know, like, the photos are, like, spread out a little too thin. They're a little. I showed it to Cutter because I needed help, like, learning how to send it to the guidance counselor so she could prayer. And he was like, this is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen in my life. Well, I'm like, well, Lisa's on brand. This is what I do. I work very hard, and it just turns in mediocre. It's what I do.

[B]

Wow. Well, you're terrific here.

[A]

So I'm. I'm really tired of talking to people, so I'm gonna need you to carry the torch right now. Yeah, that's my iced coffee.

[B]

Talking. Talking to people can be. And then also it's like, on top of it, you're getting compliments, which takes a lot out. Like, it's drained. I feel like I'm. I'm very uncomfortable.

[A]

I am, too. I understand.

[B]

Yeah. People are like, hey, that was good. Like, so. Hey. I'm like, I don't.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And then also, you. You kind of feel the. The like you don't want to say the same thing to everybody. So now you're like, I don't want to say the same. Have the same reaction. So now I have to like, what's my reaction for this? You know what I mean? It's just. It's a lot, you know, It's. It's.

[A]

You have to vary your thank yous.

[B]

Yeah. You know when there's, like, people, like, coming up to you, and you're, like, standing with six people, and then people are coming behind you and being like, hey, that was great. And you don't want to, like. Yeah, you want to have something to say to, you know, And I'm just like. I'm not. I'm like, oh, you know, you should see me in my underwear in my apartment. That's where, you know, like, that's who I know. That's who I really.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like that. You. You'd. You wouldn't be so happy to meet me right now if you saw me, like, belly out, just staring at my tv, you know, phone here, like, probably sauce on my face. But yeah, listen, different topic. We had a. What do you call a sponsor called Babel, and they left us, which. Hey, you know Babel by Babel? Yeah. So was it. Were you not enough people were using our promo code, and maybe not enough people watches whatever it was. So what did me and Jamie do? When a life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Me and Jamie hit the books, we started studying, and we said we only have six months left of our free Babel subscription. So what are we gonna do? We're gonna babble it up. So if you guys have that to show everyone what we worked on.

[A]

Interview this, sort.

[B]

Of. Not only are we using the Babel, but also we. I think we got a new market. I think we can be a Japanese.

[A]

Pod Listen to us. We can really open up the. We can really open up the possibilities here.

[B]

Well, we stopped eating sushi and we needed to feel closer to.

[A]

That was Japanese.

[B]

Japanese, yeah. That's full.

[A]

We've learned so many languages. I can't remember which one that was.

[B]

That was our Japanese phase. Yeah, it comes close to the you. Sometimes we mix it up with the Korean and the Mandarin and the.

[A]

Right. And that's why I was like, is that Mandarin? No, no, it's Japanese, right?

[B]

Yeah. No, that's full Japanese. Your Japanese is getting good.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

That was good. Yeah. Really, really good.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Babel, when you were a kid, did you. Were you a bring your own lunch to school? Did you eat lunch at school? What was your lunch situation?

[A]

Most of the time I brought my own. It was either a peanut butter and jelly or a roast beef and mayonnaise.

[B]

Oh, the mayo, though, like, six hours later, it doesn't hold up.

[A]

Yeah. And the thing is, like, my mom didn't give me, like, ice packs and shit. You know what I mean? So, like, it's wild to think how rotten my lunches were. And then I would. I would eat in the cafeteria every once in a while. I would want it when it was, like, so gross. But, like, I loved, like, the ravioli days. Pizza Fridays.

[B]

Yeah. The pizza was the best.

[A]

Other than that, that was like. But there were kids that had lunch next to me. They would have, like, pasta. Like, their moms would make them, like, these great lunches. And I always had, like, a sandwich and, like, a juice box. But I make my kids lunches now.

[B]

And what do you make?

[A]

I'll do, like, so Beau likes a turkey sandwich. I'll put, like, an ice pack in the thing. And a bow likes a turkey sandwich. He likes a cheese stick. He likes these, like, bare fruit rolls. Yeah, of course. Then I'll put, like, some sort of fresh fruit or vegetable in, like, a little container. So he. They. He loves bell peppers or, like, raspberries. I'll try to do, like, whatever keeps J. Jack and. But Bo has to have that because a lot of kids in his grade have peanut allergies. No one in Jack's great has a peanut allergy. So I can make Jack a peanut butter and jelly or I have one of those little things with compartments, and he'll heal. Like, I'll make them sometimes, like, buttered pasta in the morning, and I'll throw it in there.

[B]

So that's the deal. Now at school, if someone in your grade has a peanut allergy, no one could have peanut butter in their thing. Wow.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

How many people in Jack's great or in Beau's grade have peanut allergies, do we know?

[A]

Well, his best friend does, so I know he eats near his best friend, but I think I. At least I know one.

[B]

Listen, we'll circle back to this. But there has just love on the spectrum. Did you finish it?

[A]

No, I haven't finished it. Why?

[B]

Waiting for you to finish. Just how great.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

It's. It's the best show out there. I don't care what it is.

[A]

I'm watching it more and more and just being like, nothing. Like, I. I know people talk about autism as being a disability, but I don't see it that way at all. These are like, these are people that are high functioning. They help, they hold jobs, they pay taxes. They are like law abiding citizens who just are so completely authentically themselves as individuals just because they're not like the norm. Like, it's not a disability to me. If anything, I'm like, these people should be running the fucking world.

[B]

But I agree with that part. But I do think it is a spectrum. So I think some people suffer a lot more. Some people, really.

[A]

There's some people that can't take care, like. But there's fucking people not on the spectrum that can't fucking take care of themselves and hold a job.

[B]

Absolutely right. But there. So there's a. I'll spoil one line in the show for you, but there's. There's a moment where there's a girl who goes on a date with another girl and they both awkwardly talk about how they've each never kissed a girl and they're just kind of standing there like, they don't kiss. They go away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then they come back for their second date and they kind of like, I forget what order it comes in. They bring up kissing or they kiss or whatever. And the girl's like, I know you have a gluten allergy, so I didn't eat gluten all day because we might kiss. Like, yes. Like, it's just. It's the best. It's the best show I've ever seen.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

There's nothing better if you told me tomorrow, like, there's a new season of a show coming out. What do you want it to be? It's not even close, love.

[A]

Yeah. You guys have heard me talk about acorns before, and I'm excited to be working with them again. Today's episode is sponsored by acorns Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now. Even if all you've got is spare change, you don't need to be an expert. Acorns recommends a diversified portfolio that can help you weather all of the market's ups and downs. I got kids, I got college to think about. I've got their futures to think about. I want to retire and do fun things with Cutter like going to Europe, investing with Acorns and my future is ways that I can do that. So sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com not today or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns tier one compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor few important [e-mail] not today I seriously love this wallet. Okay, this is my Ridge. It is slim, it is sharp and it fits perfectly in my front pocket. It looks good and it feels like quality every time I use it. I've been using Ridge now for a while and I'm all in. It holds up to 12 cards plus cash and it's built with premium materials. That's one that this one is carbon fiber but they've also got aluminum. They have titanium and even Damascus. Steal. There are over 50 colors and styles to choose from and honestly I get compliments on mine all the time. The RFID blocking tech is a huge plus because it gives me peace of mind of knowing I'm protected from digital pickpockets. And here's the kicker. Every Ridge product comes with a lifetime warranty. This is the last wallet you will ever need. Right now Ridge is having their huge Memorial Day sale get up to 40% off@ridge and.com not today. That's ridge.com not today. Don't miss their biggest sale of the year and when they ask where you heard about them, make sure to tell them we sent you.

[B]

Love on the catching they are.

[A]

It's the one show I have where my smile never leaves my face. If anything just shed a tear but then right back into being pure joy.

[B]

And like watching the show is like going to like you know, like a U2 concert where like you're. You're wide. Like when I was Watching the finale, it was like they showed a clip, and then the next clip's coming. You're like, oh, my God, this guy. Like, they do this song too, you know, you're like. And the next guy comes, and you're like. And they start to end somebody's story, and you're like, oh, no. I want to see what happens. Then they go to the next guy, and you're like, this guy. Like, you know, it's just. Every song is.

[A]

Cutter was, like, not against it, but just being like, there's no way I'm gonna like this. And one day when I was watching it, he came into the room, and immediate laughter from him.

[B]

It's the funniest. And, like, they. The parents say, like, yeah, no, you should laugh at our children. They're hilarious. You laugh at your children, right? Like, don't laugh at my kids. Like, they're. You know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just the best. There's a scene at the end where they're sitting by a fire and just the smoke is going into him. Instead of being like, we're gonna leave. They're just like. It's just. The fire is just crushing them the whole time. And he's like, boy, this is weird, huh? Like, it's, like 100 degrees outside.

[A]

Oh, they.

[B]

I just live. I live for. Yeah, but to circle back. I remember in school when they had pizza was the best. When they had the pizza, but then do you remember, like. Like, whether it was over the summer, like, all of a sudden they would switch what kind of pizza they used, and it was like a different pizza. So my. My school had, like, the round pizza that was, like, a little thick with, like, the little knob pepperonis or whatever. And I love that. And then one day you came in, and they had, like, these long, like, kind of. They didn't cook well. They were, like, kind of wet, like, whack pizza. And it was, like, for three weeks, I was like, I don't think I can.

[A]

We always had ones that resembled, like, Eliot. Like, it was like a giant pan that they would just cut into little rectangles. You know what I mean?

[B]

Were you public school?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. I was public school, too. We did not get.

[A]

I mean, I don't think it was Elios, but it looked like an Elios.

[B]

See, I was. Once I became the fat kid, I realized I had to become friends with the kid who brought the bagel with cream cheese every day into school, and he would split it with me. Little guy.

[A]

Shout out.

[B]

Shout out. Cody Hoffman.

[A]

Cody Hoffman. What A generous guy.

[B]

Yeah. And he would have either an everything bagel, toasted cream cheese, or cinnamon raisin bagel, toasted cream cheese. And I. And he would give me half. And it was just. Man, it was the best.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because, you know, my mom tried to make me lunch a few times, and, you know, God, she just. With the tuna sandwich. And then a tuna sandwich is six hours later.

[A]

Oh, that's like, what Fucking so unpopular.

[B]

I think she asked me, like, what do you want? I'm like, well, I guess a tuna sandwich or even like a turkey sandwich. And then the mayo with the.

[A]

I actually had tuna sandwiches a lot as a kid, too. I don't feel like I hear those around much.

[B]

No. And now tuna is, like, better. It comes in the packet instead of the thing. Like, tuna is really. I've had the, like, tuna in the packet now. It's so much better. But I don't. Oh, Tuna kind of phased.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Tuna kind of phased out in our household.

[A]

Rip. Tuna.

[B]

Yeah, rip. But I bet there's people out there who are like, are you tuna every day?

[A]

Yeah. Let us know. Call in.

[B]

I was doing. Oh, speaking of call ins, we. We had our buddy Johnny Questions. Yeah, Johnny Questions left a. A voicemail again.

[A]

Give it to us, Johnny.

[B]

What's he got, Rob?

[C]

Hey, Jamie, guess who it is.

[B]

I know that's right.

[C]

It's your boy Johnny Questions.

[B]

Amen.

[C]

So, first off, well, I wanted to thank you for responding to my last question, and I want to give you guys a little update. Turns out the girl that I was seeing is actually pretty good for my life, so I decided to stick with her. On a side note, it just so happens I might actually be a little racist. My questions for Jamie. I had a friend recently pass away from natural causes. God rest his soul. He was a good guy. Anyway, he owed me about three grand. How do I go about asking his family to reimburse me for the money? Thanks again, as always, Jamie. I love the ponytail, Rob. Yeah. All right. Have a good one.

[B]

God bless. I'm convinced that's somebody back there.

[A]

I am.

[B]

I'm convinced that someone who works here that's not a real guy. How do you get the mully, dude?

[A]

It's. I think it's a wash, man.

[B]

No. You think so?

[A]

Three grand, do you? Well, first. Well, we need to have. First of all, you got to give it some time.

[B]

You want to know his financial situation, how much that three grand means to him, don't you?

[A]

Well, yeah, but we got to give it some time. I think we need at least a year post death.

[B]

No.

[A]

Approach the family.

[B]

No. Because then you're hitting statue of limitation, right? You. You want. I would say, like, three months maybe. Maybe even three months is a long time. I think you got to kind of maybe even two months where you. You got to hit somebody in family with the. Or, you know what? Oh, I just figured it out.

[A]

What?

[B]

You have a friend who also is friends with them, and then you go, yeah, well, you know, he owed Johnny Questions.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good approach. That's a good approach. But you're gonna need, like, is this in writing anywhere? Because, listen, this could be easily argued. So you need to start scouring some texts or emails, because the family, rightfully so, pending everybody's financial situation. Three grand's a lot of money. You could. They could just be like, what are you talking about?

[B]

Johnny Questions just got three grand to throw around to friends. Huh.

[A]

Yeah. And, you know, now that we know he's racist, he might not.

[B]

Yeah. You know, so this was definitely a white guy, I'm assuming, because Johnny Questions, I just assume is a white guy. But you never know.

[A]

Sounds like it.

[B]

You never know these days. Yeah.

[A]

And you're in a relationship now, so, you know, sounds committed with this chick.

[B]

Yeah. That's good. We got to figure out how to get Johnny Questions as three grand. This pod will not sleep.

[A]

Johnny Questions, follow up with us. What has all of a sudden made you realize you're racist?

[B]

Yeah, and also give us the person who died's family's phone number, and we'll call them and we'll let him know. By a man by the name of Johnny Questions is owed three grand from your dead son.

[A]

What did he need the three grand for? Was this a gambling debt? Was this rent? What was this?

[B]

Well, he said natural causes, so no.

[A]

But what did the kid need the grant the three grand for?

[B]

That's what I'm saying. It probably wasn't drugs or gambling. You know, his natural cause. Sounds like a good. It sounds like a good kid.

[A]

Salt of the earth you can have. You could say he died of a heart attack, which is natural causes, but leave out the fact that he had done pounds of cocaine, his friend Vinnie heart attacks. Vinnie.

[B]

Yeah. Rip, what do you think was the worst lunch the school. When school was making lunches.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What do you think was the worst?

[A]

Like, meatloaf.

[B]

Yeah, the meatloaf is sick.

[A]

I remember, like, I still don't.

[B]

When they would give, like, a side of, like, those green beans. Ugh. It's just a vomit we would get.

[A]

A lot of, like, you know, fruit in, like, syrup, you know, like a cup of peaches.

[B]

I mean, if it's. If that's the same cup of peaches that comes in that can, I should.

[A]

I still love it. But, like, now, thinking back, like, how gross.

[B]

Oh, I could spoonful of. I'd still love a peach in a can.

[A]

It's so weird to think that I'm. Now I'm so healthy now. I'm so turned off by that.

[B]

I know I can't do it either.

[A]

Syrupy sugar therapy. Thick therapy.

[B]

That Thick therapy. Wow. Shout out. I heard Bo was in all of his glory, meeting his Parker McCollum, meeting his heroes of the. What do you. Country music heroes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Bo has been a fan of Parker McCollum as long as I can remember. That's why he wears a gold chain. It's like. It's his musical hero. I think I've talked about it before that Cutter is involved with this really cool country music festival here in Texas. They just had their second annual one, and Parker was the headliner, and Beau got to meet him. And he was shout out Parker McCollum. And to his sister Michael, who really facilitated the meeting and really set it up really beautifully for Beau.

[B]

We'll insert a picture here. No, you don't want. Do you want pictures of Bo? You have it on your Instagram.

[A]

I have one where, like, his face is kind of. Not too.

[B]

I wouldn't know this guy if they put him in the booth today.

[A]

Well. Cause you don't listen to country music. But he. He's huge. And he was so kind. Like, probably spoke to Beau for 20 minutes.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Beau's a great conversationalist, but, like, he seemed very into it. Really spent a lot of time with him, took pictures with everybody. And, you know, Bo had asked him, you know, what's your favorite song to? And I think he had told Bo and Bogos, well, my favorite song of yours is Young Man's Blues. And cut to. He's in the middle of his show. We hear the intro for Young Man's Blues comes out, both so pumped, and he said, this goes out to my new friend, my buddy, Bo Dijkstra.

[B]

Oh, my God, has he slept since?

[A]

I was. Honestly, it was so cool because I just, like, looked at him and I'm like, fuck yeah, man. Like, I looked at my kid and I'm like, like, you made this happen for yourself. Like, I believe. I believe in manifestation. I believe in putting things out there. And this kid was so clear. On like that he was gonna meet Parker one day that Parker was gonna call his name. Like he would say that and it happened. And also I just like Parker had sent him a video when Beau was in the hospital. And the only way sometimes that we could get Beau to like do his therapies was that he could watch his video from Parker at the end of it. So like this guy meant a lot to him. And just seeing that moment, like Parker McCollum, I'm forever a fan. He was so awesome to him.

[B]

Well, I just want to say to all 11 year old kids out there, if you want to meet your heroes, just get really sick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Spend like two months in a hospital bed. Maybe come real close to death. Like you got to say goodbye to your family members and stuff.

[A]

But then, yeah, then look what will happen.

[B]

They'll be fucking shouting you out from.

[A]

Stage, from the fucking.

[B]

Wow. We're just gonna have, we're gonna, there's gonna be, we check the news because I think there's gonna be a lot of kids, guys getting sick. Yeah. Because they want to meet their heroes, you know, that's what kids want.

[A]

It's worth it. Starting your own business or even a podcast can feel like getting tossed into the deep end. You're suddenly your own producer, market or tech team. It's a lot. That's exactly why I wish I had Shopify from the start. Because when you're launching something new, you don't just need a website, you need a partner. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses across the globe, including 10% of of all E commerce in the U.S. we're talking about brands like Mattel, Gymshark, and maybe soon yours. With hundreds of pre designed templates, Shopify lets you set up a beautiful store that looks and feels like you. You need to write product descriptions, headlines or even level up your photos. Shopify's built in AI tool. Tools do all of that for you. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Turn your big business idea into. With Shopify on your side, start your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com not today. That's shopify.com not today. Shopify.com not today.

[B]

I've had some stuff lately that's made me angry.

[A]

Aye yi yai.

[B]

I've put it down. I was waiting till I had a few and I do. I have a few. Listen when somebody is taking a photo of you and then they say, all right, say this and it's like cheese I get. Because It's a thing. Whatever. It's from the beginning of time. You could say, say cheese. It doesn't make me hate you. Anything else you put in there, I immediately hate that person.

[A]

Like, say someone's birthday.

[B]

Yeah. Or like, if we're doing here. Not today, pal. And then, like, they would be like, all right. Everyone say, not today, pal. And it's like, no, no, cheese came from.

[A]

I never.

[B]

But cheese. I never do it. But it makes me. It makes me hate that person. It makes. But you go, cheese. And you go, cheese. You look like you're smiling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When you go, not today, Everybody in the pictures are like, people are so dumb and just don't think. As soon as somebody says, say this, and somebody did it to me recently, I hated that. I want to say. I don't want to. I don't want to put it out there. You were there?

[A]

I was.

[B]

Yeah. I don't want to put it out there because they were very.

[A]

Was it the other night?

[B]

They seem like a nice person. No, it was not the other night. It was. It was a while ago. I'll tell you after. But I was. I didn't know.

[A]

Was it like, say, Sopranos close?

[B]

Yeah. I didn't know I would have such rage to being like, I wish this person would disappear now. And before that, I was like, oh, this person seems like a nice person. And then they were like, all right. Say spaghetti. And I was like, I hope this person falls off a cliff, like, just while they're taking the picture. Just fell backwards and was just gone.

[A]

Yeah. You know what I've noticed? I. I hate asking people for photos. Like, even Parker. Like, I didn't even. Like, other people took it. Like, I wasn't even gonna, like, ask. Like, I feel like you are putting people out by asking them to pose for a photo. I'm so bad with it.

[B]

Yeah. I think. I think the last time I asked someone for a photo was, like, Jennifer Love Hewitt when I was, like, 16.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Well, I would never, ever ask anyone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I. I hate.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Every once in a while, I'll be like, can we just get a picture of the kid, the four of us, like, of my family? Because I realize, like, we have none. But, like, other than that, I'm so bad with documenting life.

[B]

And that's the other thing, too, is, like, people in my family sometimes are like, oh, Rob doesn't want to take a picture with us. Or, like, it's annoying to ask him. And it's like, no, of course. Like, if we don't have pictures or like we're seeing each other for the first time in a while. I hate somebody who just has their phone out all fucking day and you're snapping away and snapping, oh, we need a picture of this. And you're out to this. It's like, like, no, no, we have enough. Like, we get it. But like, I don't mind taking a photo. But then when it's like the 40th photo of the day, and then the people who take the 40th photo of the day love to also be the person who says, we have no pictures. We have. And it's like, where. What world do you live in? Your phone has 8,000 photos.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

See, this is what gets me.

[A]

This.

[B]

These people, they get me going. Has anything made you angry lately? Any people get under your. I love when you have something that's really pissing Jamie Lee off. No, I'll let. I'll let you think. Because I. I have. I have another one. I hate when. And this is the. You know, I'm lucky. I've had a few friends who have bought. I'm 40 now. They bought a home. You know, you're like, oh, my friend's buying a home, and you want to go over and be, okay, congratulations. You know, blah, blah, blah. Here, I'll bring you a little something. When they buy an old home and I have to pretend like it's nice, it drives me crazy.

[A]

Are they. Are they going to renovate it, though?

[B]

No, they just like. Like, I. I just. When somebody says, like, I bought a home, you're like, wow, I can't wait to see that. And then you show up and they're like, yeah, 18th century. Or like, whatever the they said, like, yeah, 19th century. The century. Like, oh, it's still the same faucet from when I'm like, what are you living in the depression?

[A]

This is crazy. I love it.

[B]

Get a new house or a newer. I mean, 90s, 2000.

[A]

Well, maybe that's all they can afford.

[B]

No, but I don't think it is because they. The.

[A]

The house pride in it big and.

[B]

Yeah, but they want. They want me to be like, oh, wow, that's an old fault.

[A]

What do you do?

[B]

It depends on who the person is.

[A]

It's really hard to ask you to fake it.

[B]

I know. I can't. It depends on who the person is. If I really friends with them. And I'd be like, jamie, you know, old houses aren't for me. I would tell you right away, right? Because Cutter would probably be like, yeah, me either. You know, whatever. But, like. Like, if it's somebody I don't really know, like, I just be the. Like, yeah, this is great. Like, congratulations. But if it's a true friend, I'm like, yo, this is, like, old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is whack.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Why do you have an old house? You just spent all this money to buy something that's 300 years. Like, I just don't.

[A]

Well, see, I. See, I only know of people that would do that to renovate it. You want to keep some old charm, right?

[B]

No, no, I wanna. I. But I'm the opposite. I want, like, a concrete tomb. You know what I mean? I want to live.

[A]

You want four white walls.

[B]

I want nothing in my.

[A]

I noticed.

[B]

Right. So.

[A]

Yeah, but the canisters Was a real.

[B]

Right. Well, one. It's one canister, but it feels like two because I. But see, just because I added one, I'm so minimalist that it feels like many things are going on, but it's really just one little canister. And you're like, wow, Rob really spruced it up around here. Yeah. I remember I was talking to our friend Alex, and I was talking about when I got. When I moved into that apartment. I was like, yeah, I saw two places. First, it sucked, and then I saw this place. I was like, oh, this is it. And she was like, yeah. You were like, I could make a home out of this because I just did nothing. I put a couch. I put the bed. I got the TVs up. But I gotta tell you, when I'm laying in my bed and my TV is up on the wall, I'm like, I have the dream set up here. Like, I don't even have nightstands. I have nothing. I have nothing to even.

[A]

I don't. I need a nightstand.

[B]

I have nothing. I just air next.

[A]

Because you leave your phone in the other room.

[B]

I never have my phone in bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing.

[A]

Not even in the bedroom.

[B]

Unless I'm. There's nothing else to do in my bedroom but lay in my bed. There's no chair or anything. So, yeah, I'll, like, walk through holding my phone, but no.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

Yeah. Any. Have you thought of anything that's making you.

[A]

Nothing's really made me mad lately. I think it's just more. Well, yeah. The group photos. On a trip. Constantly asking for a group photo.

[B]

Yes. And that's that. Can I tell you something?

[A]

And I really hope this doesn't land wrong because I love my friends so much. You're gonna say it's a lady. And I appreciate, like, the beautiful Instagrams that they've made. But. And I'm also, like, not one that, like, I share my life, but, like, I don't love to, like, share everything. And that's, like, not to say who's right or wrong. That's like, you know, how each. To each their own, but, like, like, everywhere we go, like, a group photo, I'm not into.

[B]

Yeah. And then they'll act like they don't really want to do it. Somewhat. Like, it's just, like, it's just such a. And one of the best things about going away with dudes, never. You go to a bachelor party, you come back with no photos.

[A]

When Cutter comes back from playing golf with somebody for six hours, I'm like, what's going on in their life? I don't know.

[B]

Yeah. No, Nothing I don't want.

[A]

How's their wife? What's good? I don't know. You just didn't talk about anything. No.

[B]

No. You complain about what's going on in the moment.

[A]

Yeah. They don't golf course. They don't ask each other about their lives, their whys. Nothing.

[B]

I. By the way, I could text Cutter at any time. Anything, I think always reply within 30 seconds. If I text Cutter something heartfelt. No reply.

[A]

What? Have you ever texted, how are the kids?

[B]

How's Bean? How's. How's Jamie? How are you guys doing? How's the vacation?

[A]

Nothing, really.

[B]

But then if I texted him, I'm like, nick, suck. He's like, yeah, they suck dick, like, right away. Like, I. I'm telling you. I know.

[A]

No one is a quicker reply than Cutter. He, I mean, always has his phone.

[B]

Yeah. Unless I'm like, how are the kids? Nothing. Yeah. And there's sometimes where we're in, like, a full conversation for 20 minutes, going back and forth, like, watching something, and then I'm like, oh, how are, like, the kids doing? Or how's. Being just nothing.

[A]

Really.

[B]

No. Yeah. He doesn't. He doesn't like to go.

[A]

He doesn't like to go deep.

[B]

No. Yeah.

[A]

Only guy.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You could you get it all?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got one more thing on my list of things that have been bothering me, the things that bother me. This has always bothered me. Room dividers. When someone has that, like. Or. What do you call that? Or what is that?

[A]

What else would you call it?

[B]

But. But what's that? What's that? I'm so stupid.

[A]

Like an accordion door, right?

[B]

Like an accordion style. Yeah. Like a partition, room divider. Like accordion style, where it folds up.

[A]

Like in New York City apartments, studio apartments, where they would have that. Give them some sort of.

[B]

To me, it is the biggest white trash thing you could possibly do. Oh, it is so low brow, low class. When you have a room divider, maybe you need it. If you don't, it does nothing. I could. I could go like that. I go like this. I'm like, yeah, the room's not divided anymore.

[A]

Yeah, but if somebody abides by the rules and doesn't lean over, there could be some privacy.

[B]

No, I don't think so. Because I was in a restaurant. When I was in San Diego, we went to like a, you know, a strip mall, like, sushi place. And there was a divider. And I'm like, this is most. I wanted to kick it out.

[A]

I thought there was some intricate, beautiful, like Japanese design whack.

[B]

That's even more. That's like putting. What do you call that putting? Bow tie on a pig.

[A]

Lipstick on a pig.

[B]

Lipstick on a pig. Yeah, yeah, I've heard that before. But it's like, oh, what are you gonna like? Oh, wow. Wow. Oh, that flower made that room divider quite classy. It's a piece of shit. I hate room dividers. Get them out of here. If I see them somewhere, I leave.

[A]

Sometimes fittings, that's all you have to change behind a workplace is a little.

[B]

Like, this is someone's home. You know what I mean? Like, you go in somewhere. But even that restaurant, I was like, this is disgusting. This fake wall that you could just like push over.

[A]

That would give you a two star review of the place.

[B]

I don't care about the food at that point.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm like, get this fucking very individual.

[A]

That's like wind chimes with cutter.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's just so fake. Like, this is so. This is nonsense. Like, what are we doing here? Like, we're putting this.

[A]

I don't have things like that that bother me in the world.

[B]

And it like takes up space, I can tell. No, not in my head. I mean, in the home. But yeah, it also. It also takes up space.

[A]

In the physical space.

[B]

Yes. Do we have a memory lane by any chance? Wow. Wow. See, I like when we do it. This is nice. This is what we need. We need some.

[A]

Oh, my God, we're bait. Did you just get slapped?

[B]

He just got pinched. Ah, pinched, yeah.

[A]

This is a funeral for sure.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Season three.

[B]

I'm. I'm lost on this. I'll just agree with you. Season three. Yep. Whose funeral do we Know that or no? Let me check. I would have. That's. That's funeral hair for my character. I don't remember my hair being that. Yeah, this. This looks like it's from, like, the Godfather too, or something.

[A]

We look really Italian in this picture. Yeah, you and I look.

[B]

We're given it.

[A]

I look like very. We are.

[B]

We are actors.

[A]

Look at us.

[B]

Look at.

[A]

We're pretending so Italian there.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like the. We look like. By the way, we gotta shout out to the people who did the. The clothing, the wardrobe, Juliet, everybody. They made us. They made a Jew and an Irish kid. Looked like two Italian kids out of Godfather 2.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

God. God bless Olivia. Oh, wow. That's crazy. So that. Wow.

[A]

Sadder.

[B]

If she. If she didn't pinch me, who did? You know, I think it was Uncle June that pinched me. Oh, yeah, that feels. That feels right. That's why I tried to fucking stab him later.

[A]

That's right. That's right.

[B]

Don't pinch me, baby.

[A]

That's right. Spoiler alert.

[B]

Spoiler. The last thing I have before we wrap up this week, which it goes well with this. I was thinking about this the other day, like, what's the first memory you have of me? Like, meeting me on the pilot. On the pilot.

[A]

Our first day filming. We were filming at the nursing home where, like, the family was taking the family around, touring. Livia. I actually write about this in my book. It was a. It's a very, very, very clear memory of mine because it was my first time a film set, and you had been on them before, and I leaned very heavily on you where I. I was very nervous about our stand ins. I, like, thought I maybe was like, they were still auditioning somebody, and I was like, wait, why are people rehearsing? And you literally looked at me. You're like, those are our stand ins, idiot. Like, I just remember you feeling so comfortable on the set and me so uncomfortable, and I just remember you being like, I'm gonna have to ask. He's the only person I feel comfortable asking these questions to. Yeah, and you were. And I remember riding in the back of my mom's car out to dinner one night of you and I in the backseat. Yeah, I remember that as well. And your mom was in the front with my mom.

[B]

Wow. Yeah, I.

[A]

What's yours?

[B]

I was trying to think of my first memory of you, and, like, I have first memories of you that I think it's because of, like, the pilot, you know, like, we had to watch the pilot so many times. And we've seen the pilots clips and people show. So, like, I remember that scene very much where we're in, like, the kitchen and like that. I think that's the first time you see us, maybe like the kids. So I like, you know, like, I dunk, like, something in milk or whatever. And like, so I remember that, but I think it's because I've seen it so many times. Actually, my first memory of you is kind of like a sad one. But, like, my first memory that I remember of you in person, like, not from the show, is you showing up to. And I don't know if it was like the read through for episode two once we got or whatever, or if it was the second season or whenever, but, like. And you were so skinny.

[A]

Yeah. I write about that in my book too, because you call me out. You're the only person that said something to me. You were like, you look so different. Like, no, everyone was, like, nervous to talk to me about it. And you caught. You immediately called it out.

[B]

It's the autism. I can't help it.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I had to. I had to shout it out. Yeah. But. And I remember that's my first memory of you. And I know. I know how real it is because there were no cameras there, you know, so it's not like, is that from the show or this? So, like, I. And I remember seeing you and being like, are you okay? Like, you don't, like.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Like, you look. And even though you've said before, like, you know, you always felt, like, insecure or this. I kind of always had that thing of, like, Jamie's, like, you know, okay, like, Jamie will figure it out. Like, Jamie always tries to do the right thing and puts so much effort in that she's gonna figure things out. And I remember having a different feeling of. In that moment that I don't usually associate with you, which is like, she's not okay. Yeah.

[A]

Or like, wait till you read my fucking book, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Wow. I mean, that moment stands out for me too. I remember, like, looking, and you couldn't hide it on your face.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's what I needed. You know what I mean? I think that sometimes you need somebody to, like, call something out, because when something's clearly wrong and everybody's sort of dancing around it, and I understand everybody bodies, like, feeling like they were being respectful, it actually can sometimes do a disservice because, like, you're just like, what's real. Like, there's this, like, unspoken, like, tension and Awkwardness, because, you know, they know, but they're not saying anything. And like, I've said this before, but like, when you do something like that, that to me shows you care. That to me shows that you're just like not afraid of what the reality is, as opposed to somebody who's like, I don't want to deal with that, I don't want to talk about that. I'm going to ignore that. When you're like, like, what the fuck's going on here? Yeah, you know, it, felt it, it. Those are, those are little moments that I would hold on to of being like, feeling like it's okay to just talk about what is, you know.

[B]

Do you know if that was the second episode or the second season?

[A]

Second episode.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So we hadn't seen each other in almost a year.

[B]

Right. So we record the first episode, then we have a year break and then we come in. That's what I thought. And I was like, oh, my God. I was like, are you. So that was like the height of your eating disorder.

[A]

I mean, I was like recovering. I had gained like five or six, six pounds back. And at that time, when you're an anorexic and you're gaining weight, like, to gain six pounds is like huge. And I was so delusional that I was like, oh, I'm probably looking more like I used to because I put six pounds on. But compared to when I shot the pilot to that episode, I was. There was still a 25 pound difference on a 5.5girl. Yeah.

[B]

So before the pilot, you never had eating disorder stuff or you didn't.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And then what do you, what do you think it was between there? Because it wasn't like the world saw you because it wasn't out yet.

[A]

No, I think it was a combination of things. I had my first heartbreak, which definitely made me start feeling really insecure. I was a time when all of my girlfriends started like, worrying about how they looked in clothes. People started talking about dieting. It was just like kind of like what was what everybody was talking about. And then I did see the pilot at a screening and in my eyes I was watching it and I'm like, no young girl on TV looks like that. Like, everyone on the WB and all these shows at the time were skinny and beautiful and gorgeous. And I looked at the screen and I was like, that's not what I look like. So I think all of those things combined at that. And also just being a 16 year old, very impressionable young girl, it was just like a Recipe for disaster. And then after a while, it wasn't even about being skinny. I was just very addicted to the lifestyle that I had created. Like, losing weight felt like. And you start getting compliments. Oh, you look great. You start getting more attention from guys at school. I'm a teenager. Like, all of those types of things just fed. And I didn't know how to stop because if I stopped, I thought that meant I would be fat.

[B]

But then doesn't do the compliments and the attention shift at some point when you get too skinny where it.

[A]

That's. Yes. And I did not like how I looked. If anything, I avoided mirrors. I. I would try to buy clothes that were bigger than me to, like, convince myself that I wasn't that small. But, like, you know, clothes were falling off of me. I hated how I looked. And they were. They were going to fire me. They were absolutely going to fire me. They were holding auditions for other girls. It was very clear to me that I was on thin ice in the beginning of.

[B]

It's just your standard, you idiot. Yeah, so they. They. You. You heard that they were holding auditions.

[A]

Girl in my dance. Dance class walked up to me one time and was like, what's the show you say you're on? And I was like, oh, it's called Sopranos. She's like, what's the character you play? And I was like, meadow. She's like, oh, weird. I have an audition for it next week. And I was like, yeah, yeah, it was. Right. It was a rough time. But at the same time, I just. I felt like I deserved it. And I did in some ways. I mean, I had. I was different than the girl that they cast and I got it. You know, obviously I'm very lucky how it worked out, but it was. Was a very scary time.

[B]

You get in the car after that, you're like, mom, we're going to bagel boss.

[A]

I did. When. When I. After I. I knew. I. When they called me to come in for the read through. I mean, what. After the read through, when they called me for my fitting, I felt a little more comfortable. I filmed the second episode, I was only in, like one scene, so I. I could tell, like, I. It wasn't going to be too. But when they called me for my fitting for the second episode and that I had a little bit more to do, I started to feel a little more calm. And then I was. I literally was like, let's go to McDonald's. Like, I was just very hell bent on like, showing everybody I was okay showing Everybody that I wasn't going to jeopardize this opportunity. And that was unhealthy in its own way. And then I gained a ton of weight, and then I got a lot of backlash for it. Like, I was on a live radio show where a guy called in, like, making fun of my weight, and it was. It was a very hard. It was very hard and took me many years to kind of get comfortable in my own skin again.

[B]

I remember for 20 years after that, that show would be like, hey, come on. I was like, never.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Even, like, two years ago when we were in New York, they were like, oh, to promote the pod, you. I was like, nah, I'm good. Wow. I would never. I was like, I can't. You know, I can't. And even though it's probably not even their fault, like, you don't know. It's just like. I know I never held it.

[A]

I wasn't protected by it for sure.

[B]

Yeah. I remember that affecting you afterwards and being like these.

[A]

Oh, thanks, Robbie.

[B]

Yeah. So that was. Wow.

[A]

And now you can make fun of me all you want and I can take it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah.

[A]

But back then, when you're a kid, it's hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, it's, like, one thing to be on a show, but then you're like, oh, my God, now I have to deal with other people's opinions of me while I'm, like, dealing with all of this. It was.

[B]

See, I'm surprised you saw the pilot and thought you looked fat and not like, oh, look how skinny I am next to Robin James. We were. We were big boys.

[A]

You were.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Well, I didn't feel that way in real life, but on the show, when I watched it, I did.

[B]

What is the lowest weight? You were like, what do you think you were before you gained those pounds in the 80s?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's so crazy that, like, you. I think about life now and I look back at that time, and I never. Until this moment, like, I never. I never thought, like, wow, thank God you made it through that. You know, like, I was.

[A]

Was.

[B]

I was there through it. So, like. But I never thought about, like, wow, that could have gotten. That could have not turned out the way or gotten way worse or.

[A]

And I think I only turned it around for the show, you know, so who knows where it could have gone? You know, I think that that was my incentive to get better, but possibly.

[B]

Your incentive that made you start it also, too. There's no way of.

[A]

There's no way of knowing.

[B]

It's like, with my addiction, like, people are always like, congratulations. You should be so proud. And I'm like, I did that. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I. My. I. I got. I was taking 15 Percocets a day. Like, I started with one, and then two, and then, like, I. I know the progression. So then to be like, hey, I'm really good. Good on me. Like, you know, it's like, oh, no. I think about all the days where I sat there being like, all right, today we're just. We're gonna. We're gonna up it to seven, you know, and then, like, the next day, like, we're gonna be. You know, and then just somehow, all of a sudden, you don't realize, and you're like, oh, yeah, I'm 15 a day. Day.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I kind of had my own version of that, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I'm just gonna cut out dessert now. I'm gonna cut out bread now. I'm gonna cut out lunch. You know, it's like, you. You see? It's. You don't see.

[B]

Sounds like my life right now. Wait a minute. Hold on. This sounds. Are you describing me? Good thing. You see me eat for three hours straight when I do it. So you were. You were doing what? Like, what did. When you were eating your least amount?

[A]

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I was. I was all day. If you looked at any notebook of mine in high school at the time, it was just all numbers, constantly calculating what things, how many calories things were, and, like, constant obsession. And then, like, if I ate a piece of gum, I would ask to go to the bathroom so I could burn the calories to, like, walk back and forth before it was. It just became completely overwhelming. And then I would exercise for, like, hours. A day. Hours.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. And. Yeah, it's just. It's. It's a disease. It was, like, completely took over my mind. It was the only thing I ever thought about as soon as I was up until I went to bed.

[B]

And that again, you talked about, like, why you go back to it, why you don't. But, like, it gives you a sense of control, right? Completely.

[A]

Well, that's the thing, is everything felt out of control for me at that time. You know what I mean? And so that was, yes, my way of controlling things.

[B]

And what felt out of control. The heartbreak.

[A]

My heart, my life, the stage of life I was in. My body was changing. Heartbreak. I was about to be on a show. Like, everything just felt so much bigger for the first time in my life and everyone's obsession was being skinny. And so that's just. And then as soon as I gave a little bit of effort and saw the scale go down, I was like, well, I'm good at this. It's like a reward. You become addicted to seeing the number go down because you're like, I did it and it worked. I didn't. Nothing else in my life felt like it was working, but like that I was working from me. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. All right. We, we, we went way over.

[A]

Sorry to bring it down.

[B]

No, no, no, I, I think, I'm sure I brought it up or whatever, but yeah, no, thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Watch, watch. Bad thoughts. Not today. Hey, not today. Not today.