How Does This White Guy Sound So Jamaican? | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Not Today, Pal – “How Does This White Guy Sound So Jamaican?”

Podcast: Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler & Robert Iler
Episode: "How Does This White Guy Sound So Jamaican?"
Date: December 18, 2025
Network: YMH Studios

---

Episode Overview

This episode is a lively mashup of music, language, and cultural exploration as Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler (alongside guests Tom Segura, Christina Pazsitzky, and their producer Cutter) dive into the world of M Dot – a white English rapper known for his uncanny use of Jamaican patois in his dancehall performances. The core segment features the hosts attempting to decipher M Dot’s lyrics, leading to hilarious results, discussions about cultural affinity, and insights into language and identity. Later, topics veer off into funny sales purchases, memories of filming The Sopranos, daily life quirks, and a playful debate about utility belts.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Viral Clip: White Guy with Jamaican Patois (00:30 – 17:34)

- Setup:
Tom Segura introduces a viral video of M Dot, a young white Englishman rapping in dense Jamaican patois, aiming to see how well the hosts can understand or translate the lyrics.

- The Lyric Translation Game:

• Christina Pazsitzky tries to write down what she hears, resulting in comically mangled versions:
  • “She Ricky Dicky Slum, lick a butt, I’ll tell them, I’ll bend Diddy Wong”
  • “If you’re looking for a one minute man, oh, E. Coli, it’s all in me, I say”
• Tom reads the actual lyrics and compares Christina's.
• The line-by-line breakdown is full of laughter and misinterpretations, notably:
  • “We don’t give a f, we no give a ross clot”
  • Misheard as “we don’t give a rat’s ass,” which Tom calls “really good.”
• The group discusses “bedroom bully” as a recurring phrase.
• Christina’s energetic, almost musical recitation of the garbled lyrics becomes a running joke:

  "You should have never stopped singing because you're sensational." – Tom Segura (04:00)

- Cultural Curiosity:

• How does someone born in the UK attain such authenticity in Jamaican patois?
• Tom dives into M Dot's background:
  • Born in the UK on the Isle of Sheppey.
  • Grew up in London among the Jamaican diaspora, absorbing the culture via the dancehall and reggae scene.
  • His connection to Jamaica grew even stronger after he visited at 16.
  • “He gives a Ross clot about the hurricane victims.” – Tom Segura about M Dot’s philanthropy (15:37)
• Debate: Is this genuine affinity, cultural appropriation, or simply cultural immersion?
  • Christina: “You don’t have to” understand it, as long as affection's real (17:07).

- Notable Quotes:

"I’m just an ignorant guy. Can someone explain to me how someone born in, like, the UK can be like, Jamaica’s my heart?" – Tom Segura (15:56) "Big dirty bass." – Christina Pazsitzky, mishearing the lyrics (05:46) "This guy's like one in a billion." – Tom Segura (10:45)

---

2. The Tangent Table: Salesman Regrets & Impulse Purchases (19:59 – 21:59)

• Jamie-Lynn recalls her QVC obsession during her first lonely weeks in New York, buying products like the Shake Weight, body blades, and ab devices.
• Tom relates: he only buys things when he feels guilty for taking up a salesperson’s time, never from actual persuasion.

Notable Quote:

"Have you ever bought something because the person was such a good salesman and then later you regretted it?" – Tom Segura (20:59)

---

3. Sopranos Nostalgia: Memories from the Set (23:00 – 25:50)

• Memories of filming at the Sopranos house:
  • Neighbors dealing with fans, the large driveway, and the special feeling of shooting at that location.
  • Funny anecdotes about the blackout in NYC during filming, and dealing with fans and paparazzi.
• Reflections on the impact and legacy of using real homes for television and the burden it places on homeowners.

Notable Quote:

“If you've ever been on a movie or TV set and filmed in someone's house...shit gets fucked up. Like, I would never offer my house.” – Christina Pazsitzky (27:13)

---

4. Etiquette and the Backward Hat Policy (28:01 – 29:41)

• Tom discusses the awkwardness of enforcing dress codes (no backward hats) at steakhouses.
• Jamie-Lynn agrees that enforcing such minor rules isn’t worth the discomfort.
• Lighthearted talk about restaurant etiquette, norms, and social anxiety.

---

5. The Ultimate Utility Belt (36:05 – 43:44)

- Hypothetical Game:
What would you put in your personal utility belt?

• Everyone shares their essentials:
  • Hand sanitizer, wipes, Zyns (nicotine pouches for Cutter), gum, headphones, lip balm, chocolate/candy, phone charger, Q-tips, flossers, hoodie, sunblock, green juice, mustache clips, and even a mini computer.
• Tom and Christina laugh about the idea of an actual superhero utility belt for adults, with custom AI-generated images.

Notable Moment:

"This morning, I was making Jack’s bed...and there were just two Zyn tins, like, in his covers. Poor kid." – Christina Pazsitzky (36:30)

---

6. Hygiene Habits: Do People Actually Wash Their Hands? (32:39 – 35:11)

• Debate about whether people really wash their hands before eating.
• Tom is skeptical about the 42% figure cited by GPT, insists most people are lying.
• Jamie-Lynn shares how she teaches her kids about germs with “microscope and bugs” metaphors.

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On Attempting to Translate M Dot:

  “She Ricky Dicky slum lick a butt, I’ll tell them all. Ben Diddy Wong. And if you’re looking for a one-minute man, oh, E. Coli, it’s all in me, I say…” – Christina Pazsitzky (07:40)

• On Cultural Connection:

  “He gives a Ross clot about the hurricane victims.” – Tom Segura (15:37)

• Discussing Filming at the Sopranos House:

  “I used to love...filming on that driveway.” – Christina Pazsitzky (24:29)

• On Restaurant Rules:

  “There’s very few...like, imagine a guy’s on a date and, like, you have to walk up and go, hey, buddy, turn that thing around.” – Tom Segura (29:32)

• On Their Friendship:

  “That’s why we’re one of the biggest podcasts in the United States of America.” – Tom Segura (43:41)

---

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:30 – 10:44 – M Dot video, translation game, and initial patois discussion
• 13:56 – 17:34 – M Dot background, discussion of cultural affinity
• 19:59 – 21:59 – Salesmanship & impulse buys story
• 23:00 – 25:50 – Sopranos house and set anecdotes
• 28:01 – 29:41 – Restaurant hat policy, social anxiety
• 32:39 – 35:11 – Handwashing habits conversation
• 36:05 – 43:44 – Utility belt brainstorm (hilarious rapid-fire answers and playful banter)

---

Conclusion

This episode exemplifies the blend of irreverent humor and honest friendship at the heart of "Not Today, Pal." Through laughter-laden attempts to crack Jamaican lyrics, cultural musings, and shared stories of celebrity life and everyday quirks, Jamie-Lynn and Robert offer a relatable and entertaining exploration of how different perspectives and personalities can find common ground. The episode is packed with quotable moments, laughs, and genuine warmth.

---

For listeners short on time:
The must-listen section is the opening segment (00:30–17:34), where the crew tries to decipher M Dot's patois. Fans of The Sopranos will appreciate the nostalgia around 23:00–25:50.

Classic episode mood:
Playful, inquisitive, slightly self-effacing, and full of the oddball chemistry that defines the show.

Transcript

[Tom Segura]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

All?

[Kelly Clarkson]

Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. My favorite thing about the holidays, Decking out my whole house. It's not a competition. But if it was, well, I'd win the season with Wayfair outdoor inflatable Santa.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Got it on Wayfair.

[Kelly Clarkson]

Trees, lights and ornaments. Wayfair hosting must haves like dining sets, beds, sheets and towels. Wayfair for everything in your style, delivered with fast and free shipping. Visit Wayfair.com or the Wayfair app to win the season. But again, it's not a competition. Wayfair every style, every home.

[Tom Segura]

Not today, pal. I've been waiting to show you this clip all week. Oh, my God, I'm so excited.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I need this.

[Tom Segura]

There's a clip of a young white man that I'd like to show you and get. Get your thoughts on him.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A young white man.

[M Dot]

Look about my Talawat and Bunny Lang. And if you look, if you are one minute man, a little lion's old, hear me? I. But we give a F. And winner give her ass claw. Bedroom bully. Make the sit and talk big dirty bass. That one. You're fully like a holy pussy blood cloth. You know, we're fully dark.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Love him. Sounds like Jack's new walk up song.

[Tom Segura]

Incredible.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

And so here's what I want to do. Can you. Can we fly in a pen and paper for Jamie? I want to start this over. I want you to translate what he's saying. Yeah, I want to see how far. I want to see how far we can get.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But do you have the actual lyrics?

[Tom Segura]

We have most of them, but some were unavailable. And. And the parts that were unavailable, I still can't figure out, unfortunately. But so. So you. You tell them when you want them to pause. So. So we'll start and then you say pause when you want.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I need a pen that works.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, fly in a pen that works.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's okay. Can you play?

[Tom Segura]

Let's hear what you. Let's hear what you got.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Shicky Dicky D. Slum.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, that's pretty good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, Let me read. Okay, You. You wrote lick a butt. What?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Play that part again.

[Tom Segura]

Wait, just. What did you say first? Lick a butt.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Lick a butt. I'll tell him.

[Tom Segura]

Lick a butt. I'll tell him. Okay. Tell them what? Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bend. Diddy Wong.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, Diddy wong.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think so.

[Tom Segura]

Go ahead. Okay, let's keep. Let's or let's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And if you're looking for a one.

[Tom Segura]

Minute man, that one we got.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Yeah. But here's Something. I can't figure out what he says after. If you're looking for a one minute man. Okay, go ahead. Just play that again.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, E. Coli.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, E. Coli. That's pretty good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's better than. I had nothing to hear the rest.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's all in me, I say, I.

[Tom Segura]

Think I lick a lion.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's all in me, I say so shiriki dicky d Slum Lick a butt. I'll tell them all. Ben Diddy wong. And if you're looking for a one minute man. Oh, e Collie. It's all in me, I say, wow, that's.

[Tom Segura]

I can't believe you stopped singing. You should have never. You should have never stopped because you're sensational.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

You should do. Go back to Broadway one night.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Wasn't this.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Just a lickety slam. Okay, let's go again.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Rickety slum.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, stop.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We know. Give a f. We no give a rat sauce.

[Tom Segura]

That's great. That's really. That's really close. Go ahead, write that down. We don't give a f. We don't give a rat sauce.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Rats us.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, rats. Oh, that's very good. I see. I thought it was rat's claw the first time I heard. That's very good. We don't give a rats us. Damn.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a rat ass.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, now next.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, I need it again.

[Tom Segura]

All right. Because that's a very important one. Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bit your booty sitting in the dark.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Okay. Sitting in the dark. Play that. Play that one more time for Jamie to listen to. Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Make bet your booty.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. See, I make sit and d. That's one of my favorite lines. So that was one of the first ones that I got. He's saying bedroom bully.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bedroom bully.

[Tom Segura]

He considers himself a bedroom bully.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And I think he says, that's what I am. And then I think he says, maybe bed sick dog. Oh, you're a bedroom bully.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm a bedroom bully.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. That.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sitting in the dark.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I need that as a drop. I'm a bedroom bully for next week.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm a bedroom bully.

[Tom Segura]

Love that. Yeah, we're going to have that going. Okay.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Big dirty base.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's right. Big dirty base. What?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I need it again.

[M Dot]

Big dirty base. The one you're fully locked.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you followed or the one you fool around with.

[Tom Segura]

No, no. Try. She could get better than that bed. Big basic.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you fooled. I sound like he said in there.

[Tom Segura]

Throw that in there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Then the one you fool.

[Tom Segura]

You fold a Try it one more time. I've still come to the conclusion that at the end he just makes some. He's like a foodie da. He just says, yeah, that's nothing.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you full.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, go back to Bedroom Bully. Well, just one more time.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you're full. The luck.

[Tom Segura]

Okay, let's. Let's do Bedroom Bully and then pause it after you. I want you to get the line. Try and get the line after Bedroom bully.

[M Dot]

Sit and talk. Big dirty base. The one you're fully locked up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you're fooled and locked up.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. By the way, just people listening. We have all the lyrics, so we'll.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Be able to compare Jamie's to the actual one.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. So let's go. Go back to Bedroom Bully.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bedroom bully. Big dirty boss. The one you're fooled and locked up.

[Tom Segura]

Okay.

[M Dot]

Big dirty base. The one you're fully dark. I wouldn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

The one you put in Locked up in the pussy foodie la.

[Tom Segura]

Look at the one you you locked up in the pussy foodie la. Foodie la. Okay. Okay, now let's get you reading the. From front to front to back.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

She Ricky Dicky slum lick a butt. I'll tell them I'll bend Diddy Wong. And if you're looking for a one minute man. Oh, E. Coli. It's all I in me. I say we don't give a. We don't give a rat's ass Bedroom bully Make it sitting in the dark Big dirty bass. The one you fooled and locked up in the pussy foodie la. Wow. That was banger.

[Tom Segura]

That was damn good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Thank you.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Holy cow. I hope all the big time managers and agents in LA are listening to this podcast.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Grammy.

[Tom Segura]

I smell a Grammy. You might be. You get the egot. Right? We're gonna try and get you all three for this performance. All right? This, this. So some of it is part of a song, but some of it, I think he's just like freestyling. So the first thing he says is, she give the wickedest slam.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You said she Ricky Dicky D Slum.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's. That's pretty close.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's a translation.

[Tom Segura]

And then the next one, I don't really know what this means, but it says lickle butt Mitali wa Tom Pandilong liquor.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But I'll tell them I'll bend Diddy Wong.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's pretty great. And then if you're looking for a one minute man I lick a lion sound. Hear what me say if you're looking.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

For a one minute man Oh, E Coli. It's all in me.

[Tom Segura]

I say, well, luckily he doesn't have E Coli, so yours.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yours to me, Red.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. His name is M. R. M. R. Then he says, look, me no give a F. Me no give a Ross clot. Can you look up? That's like some Jamaican thing, I think. What is Rascal.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And it's like two A's. How is it spelled?

[Tom Segura]

R, A, A S, C, L A A T, Mino. Give a. Ross. Claude. Bedroom bully. What do we got? I can't see anything. What does it say?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A racist.

[Tom Segura]

Can you. Can someone say something?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It says, oh, give a fuck. Give a. Give a damn. Give a fuck. Well, that's wipe. Ass wipe.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. It's like an ass wipe.

[Cutter]

An arse cloth.

[Tom Segura]

It's an ar. Oh, me don't give an arse cloth. You don't give a rat's cloth.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay, So I said, get of a rat's ass. That's worse.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that's. That's really good. And then the next one says, bedroom bully. Mech. The sitting talk. I don't know what that means. Big dirty bass. The one you fully dark. A huda. Pussy Blood clot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, he did say pussy.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. No, you got pussy. You know, we fully dark. He says dark a lot for a white guy. This the last line. He says dark like three times. Big dirty bass. And when you're fully dark, you know we fully dark. I wonder what.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I did say big dirty bass, too. Big dirty space. The one you fooled and locked up in the pussy foodie la.

[Tom Segura]

Wow, this is sensation. Can I wonder if we throw that in? AI. And we ask what. AI. What we think that he's saying? But yeah, that was. That was sensational. Anything.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Give me more of these someday that's.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'll do from. I mean, this guy's like one in a billion, so it's gonna be hard to find.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Who does he look like?

[Tom Segura]

You know what someone sent me?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like an art teacher. Like a high school art teacher. Like a high school art teacher in that sweater. Like, what is that neckline? This is so interesting.

[Tom Segura]

I was talking to somebody who I sent this to, and they said he looks like a kid from, like, a 90s movie who grew up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Like, he was in, like, where are they now? Yeah, like he was in every 90s movie as, like, just the other kid in the class for sure. Like. Like Kindergarten Cop and, like, all these movies he was in.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Lucas.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Can.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He was in.

[Tom Segura]

Can we look him up just to see what this guy's all about. Have you, have any of you heard of him before today?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, I haven't.

[Tom Segura]

Wow, this guy's. He's under the radar, huh?

[Cutter]

Yeah, he's got a lot of bangers on his tick tock too.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, look at this.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Look at him.

[Tom Segura]

Dot R oh, I don't have any artwork up in my apartment.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Is he Australian? Oh no, he's just posing with kangaroos. English. English it's the time of year to reflect on how far you've come and how much further you want to go. Tap into that fresh start feeling that's right around the Corner and make 2026 the year that you rewrite your story and make your entrepreneurial dreams a reality. Shopify has been powering the YMH Studios merch store forever. They've been so consistent and reliable every step of the way. With Shopify on your side, this new year can be the one where you launch your business. Shopify has everything you need to sell online and in person. They have hundreds of templates to match your brand and built in AI tools to help you write headlines, descriptions and even edit product photos. You can handle orders and expenses, expand to new markets all from the Same dashboard in 2026 stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling [e-mail] not today. Go to shopify.com not today. That's shopify.com not today. Here's your first this new year with Shopify on your side. Cash App just released a new status program for the way people actually spend spend called Cash App Green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. Now when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card or Cash App Pay, you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free draft coverage, higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers. Every Friday at places you love to shop. Turn everyday spending into status Cash App Green Download Cash App today or visit Cash App New to learn more about this and other great features. Launching now for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASHAPP in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's Bank Partnership Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC Cash App Green Overdraft coverage Borrow cashback Offers and promotions provided by Cash App, A Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal podcast for full disclosures.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, I wonder if he's ever been to Jamaica. He's known for his prolific use of patois.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jamaican patois.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. He is associated with.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He's born on the Isle of Shepay.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. The Isle of Shippe in the uk. Record labels. Wow. He's. He's danced around a lot of. A lot of different record labels. Other names. MC Scalier. I'm just a big fan. So I don't have any art work in my apartment. I could picture having, like, this guy up in my apartment. So, like, over the couch. Over the couch or my bed. Maybe over my bed.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Something just like, wow, what an individual.

[Tom Segura]

I just love this guy that. See? And you know what it is he's had? He's. You know, he's got famous because he's had the glow up. Like, if you look at the photo. That one. Yeah. Like, you could tell he's. He's really gotten together.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Teeth fixed.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. In that photo, I think he still gave a Ross claw, but now he.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Doesn'T give a Ross claw.

[Tom Segura]

No, you don't give a Ross claw.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bedroom Bully.

[Tom Segura]

I love this guy. He has a lot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's gonna be the name of my first album. Well, Bedroom Bully, you're.

[Tom Segura]

You're in between the. On the title of the book, maybe you could name the book Bedroom Bully. That would be nice. How do you think Cutter would feel about that? Oh, look, he's showing his tender side. He was posing with all the kangaroos there. What's he got to say over on the right where he's just in the. In the hoodie? Yeah. What's he saying here?

[M Dot]

And I know everyone's seen the damage. Oh, I shouldn't laugh in Jamaica right now.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[M Dot]

You all know this place is very, very, very close to my heart. In fact, Jamaica is my heart.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's the artwork you want in your apartment. Right?

[Tom Segura]

In his apartment. Jamaica. He gives. He gives a Ross claw about the hurricane victims.

[M Dot]

What we've done is we've set up a He's Jamaican Pillows Nation YGP1 Camp foundation where you can donate and support.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[M Dot]

In any way possible.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love that.

[Tom Segura]

Absolutely.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's philanthropic, boys.

[M Dot]

I spoke to my team in Kingston, and they said M. Dot Honestly.

[Tom Segura]

So can we pause this for a second? I. I'm just an ignorant guy. Can someone explain to me how someone born in, like, the UK can be like, jamaica's my heart. Like, that's my. Like, I Just like past life. Shit. Or is like his dad because he. He's with the kangaroos. There is his dad. Yeah. Let's. Let's. I would love to do a deeper dive here into M dot or how the first. The first thing when you Google his name, it says, why does he have a Jamaican accent for Jamie Foxx? So we're going to Google right now. Why does M Dot. Or by the way, anyone who's not listening. Yeah, I said it before, but he's a white fel. Mr. has an affinity for Jamaican due to his exposure to its culture, specifically the dance hall music scene in London, where he lived among the large Jamaican diaspora. I've never seen that word. He also traveled to Jamaica frequently, starting around. So he was never even to Jamaica before the age of 16. But he's like, you know, jamaica's my heart. That's. That's interesting. See, I can't. I can't understand that. Which further.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You don't have to.

[Tom Segura]

No, I know. Listen. I love this guy. Which further cemented his connection to the island. So he had such a deep connection to the island even before he went. Huh. Wow. I don't know.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Big dirty base.

[Tom Segura]

Cultural exposure. And moved to London at 18 and was drawn to the minimum. Was drawn to the city's dance hall and reggae scene.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

We don't give a raw toss.

[Tom Segura]

Do we have, like, younger, like. I wonder what he was like. So he was drawn to that. He was.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I can't believe you still want to talk about this guy. I'm ready to move on.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. We can move on in a second.

[Cutter]

I feel like you're hating on my dog. I'm not going.

[Tom Segura]

No, no, dude. I'm trying to. See, this is the problem with people these days. I'm trying to understand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Robert McGeorge. That's his real name.

[Tom Segura]

I'm trying to understand.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, look, see, he was in a movie.

[Tom Segura]

No, they say beans for. Oh, that's who he looks like. Oh, right. A guy from even Steven. But I'm just so. Did he always speak this way? Like, maybe he was just born speaking this way. That's why he so connected to that culture. Once he. Once he got around.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, he kind of has that, like, English, like, cockney way of speaking, which I think then just has a Jamaican and, like, flare.

[Tom Segura]

The one you fully love. Any. Why do you feel like I'm hating on this guy?

[Cutter]

I don't know, man. You just question him a little too much.

[Tom Segura]

I. I want to get. How do you get to know Somebody, you got to ask them questions, right?

[Cutter]

I don't know, man.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Let's get him on.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, he wouldn't. He's too big to come on here.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

How do you know?

[Tom Segura]

All right, you want, you want to switch it up? Here's how he could switch it up. So much like our friend here. Travel to Jamaica. We know I don't like to travel anywhere, but if I was ever going to leave the country, this could be. One of the things that gets me out is to see you. If we. This is what I tried to send you one day and you couldn't look at them. But can you. Can you show the tweet of the China from China? You can change the power? Yeah. Kill.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Can we.

[Tom Segura]

Can we put like maximum power? The max power? Yeah, max power. Are you sure? Yeah. I don't know if this is a good idea. Yeah, you can't see his legs, but this is like a thing. So if somebody's legs don't work cuz they're hiking. Max power. Walking carefully. Okay, can I run or no run. Guys, guys, the. The robot wants to move by itself, okay? Oh, it's moving for me. I'm not walking. I'm not. I am. I am not walking. This is literally the future of I'm running with a robot. All right, so this is so people who get to the, like the midway point in the mountain and they go, I can't go anymore. These will just take over for you. Do you think these would work for you?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I only wanted if the guy with the orange shirt comes and helps me.

[Tom Segura]

Oh yeah, he. He's gonna tell you. It's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I want him to come with me.

[Tom Segura]

It's the best, most incredible. I mean, are we going to China?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, so I tried something like this at a physical therapy place and I felt. It felt so weird. It didn't feel. It wasn't so much robe. I don't know, it didn't feel very roboty, like it was making my legs moving. It made me feel like as I was moving my own legs, it was like helping me. But this sounds like it like moves you. I've never tried that. Yeah, but we don't have that here. Well, here we in China.

[Tom Segura]

I'm sure we. So I had them look to see if anybody listens to the show in China. And they said yes. So we could, we could maybe somebody. We get somebody in China.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

In China.

[Tom Segura]

Not a lot. I could tell you. Not a lot. But we. Maybe we could maybe we figure out a way to get these bad boys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Over Here, send them.

[Tom Segura]

They got, they got to. I mean, how long can something be in China and then run again? Yeah. How long could something be in China and not be over here? It's only a matter of time, right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I don't know. Now with Trumpy baby.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. You think it's done? Well, listen, we'll pay the tariffs if we'll get you walking again. We'll pay the tariffs.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Pay the tariffs. We'll take a jog.

[Tom Segura]

We'll pay the tariffs. Here's the. Okay. So that guy is clearly an incredible salesman. Something I wanted to ask you is have you ever bought something because the person was such a good salesman and then later you regretted it?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, Everything on late night QVC that I bought. When. So when I first moved into an apartment in New York City, I realized. I remember my first night, I'd realized I'd never been alone before. Like I always lived in a house with my family. And I remember being like such an uncomfortable feeling that I. For the first time, few weeks, I was like up all night. And the only thing. This is like, you know, pre. Obviously everything. The only thing that was, we had was like QVC and all these like home shopping things on in the middle of the night.

[Tom Segura]

That's right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So I ordered, I remember like a metal blade that you like stand and like go like this. It's supposed to like be for your abs or whatever. Like the blade, whatever. I had an ab roller. I bought the thing that like electrocutes your stomach. It was a lot of ab.

[Tom Segura]

Shake weight. Did you get the shake?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I had a Shake Weight.

[Tom Segura]

Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Shake Weight's legit though.

[Tom Segura]

So you were, you were like, like, like how people are now with Amazon. Before Amazon. Like you just had 3, 4 packages.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A day showing up from QVC. Cuz I was up all night. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. And then would you sleep all day?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. I don't know. I was 19. Probably not.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. Let's see. AB exercise knife.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's a blade. Put in blade.

[Tom Segura]

Bedroom bully. Oh yeah, that looks like it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, but it was. You literally. It didn't have that hand. Oh yeah, the guy in. There it is.

[Tom Segura]

Where?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

In the top. Go to the right. To the left. Yeah, those. Yeah. Body blade. The body blade. There it is.

[Tom Segura]

So then, so now that shows up. Are you use that once and throw it under the bed?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I think I used it once and then realized my apartment was too small. Like I was gonna hit a wall or like a piece of furniture. Like there was no room for me to do anything. There was no room for me to even use the Ab Roller or whatever. I was really trying to get a six pack back then.

[Tom Segura]

Clearly, that's Athleanx on the. On the left. Jamie, shout out to Athleanx. Great, great content provider for people trying to get in shape. You know what something else thinking about the other day is? What do you think it would be like to live in the Sopranos house? It's gotta be. There's gotta be people just showing up.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Are there new owners in there now?

[Tom Segura]

Well, we knew the owners, and they were the same owners for, like, yeah, 30, at least 20 years. How you think they might. They might be gone?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, we changed the layout once we built a set, though, you know, like, it wasn't exactly the same.

[Tom Segura]

The kitchen was very similar.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

But everything else.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But you meaning, like, just having people, like, on the street coming to look at it.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm saying. Like, I would love if. If we could try and, like, reach out to those people. I know, like, people who do, like, Soprano stuff have used their house so they. They know how to, like, get in touch with them or whatever. I would love to have them call in just to be like, how often? Because the amount of photos I see where people, like, tag us or whatever, and it's like they're just outside of the house, like on Halloween, people dressing up and going in front of the house. It's like, is this a thing where, like, you know, once a week somebody's out front, or is it constant?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Right.

[Tom Segura]

People just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I guess they're only their saving grace is that the house is so, like, the driveway is really big and, like, steep and, like, up. So nobody I would hope is, like, walking up the driveway to get a photo of the house. It's more of, like, getting that shot from the street that's been shown so many times in the show of people, you know, pulling in and out, etc.

[Tom Segura]

Right. And him, like, getting the newspaper or whatever.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I used to love. I don't know why. I loved filming on that driveway.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. No, I loved going to that house.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I loved it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I've had so many memories of, like, and in the backyard, like, when we shot that barbecue family thing and we did Marco Polo in the pool and we all went night swimming. That was such a fun night.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Cause that was just you, me, Jim, Edie, and Will.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. Wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So funny.

[Tom Segura]

What was that? That's got to be over 20 years ago, probably now.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That's crazy. You know, I always had, like, A good feeling pulling up to that house and, like, going.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But then I remember we filmed at that house when there was that giant blackout in August in New York City. Because I remember we were filming that episode. Same. It was another night and we were driving home. I was in the car with Michael. Maybe you were in my van. No, because we were in different parts of the city. Michael and I both lived downtown, so we shared a van back. And I remember pulling into New York City and it was just pitch black, no lights. And all you saw was the moon, and it was so wild.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like, imagine, like, pulling up to the island of Manhattan and just no lights.

[State Farm Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan, like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Tom Segura]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry.

[Tom Segura]

That I wouldn't get my new contacts.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

In time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh, they're so fast.

[Tom Segura]

And breathe.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Tom Segura]

Visit 1-800contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. Yeah, and then I remember we would, like, once the show got so big, when we would go film there, if we had to film outside, sometimes they would have, like, whether it was friends or whoever in the house.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And.

[Tom Segura]

And I remember one time we were doing a scene where we had to go up to the front door and, like, act like, you know, you open it and you walk in and go. But they didn't film us inside. They just filmed the door. But they had so many people in there that when we would open the front door, like, the flashes would go off because people would be, like, taking pictures of us. And they had to come up and be like, hey.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Well, they had to have, like, so many police there to block off the street. Yeah, it was wild.

[Tom Segura]

I wonder, like, if that. I wonder if. If it's like, one of those things where it's like, is this a gift or a curse? Like, are they happy that they gave The. The house to the show, or would they take it back?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, any. If you've ever been in a crew on a movie or TV set and filmed in someone's house, and you see, even though you try to be as respectful as you can, shit gets fucked up. Like, I would never offer my house.

[Tom Segura]

Here's.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Ever.

[Tom Segura]

There's a good question. How much does someone have to offer you tomorrow to let a commercial film at your house?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, I don't want to. I don't want to. It's not worth it to me. I don't want you touching my. I'm moving my stuff. I already get, like, super anxious, like, when I have people over. Like, no.

[Tom Segura]

And here's the thing. Like, if you don't know the rules, people will take advantage of you. So if you don't say, like, don't go in here. Don't go. Like, people just go and sleep.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And I will feel so uncomfortable telling people not to do things because I would rather have their feelings feel better than mine. And then I would just spiral inside.

[Tom Segura]

Well, it's interesting you bring that up, because one of the things I want to ask you is I went to a restaurant a few days ago, and they had a sign that said. And it was very small in the front, so everybody misses it. They have to tell you inside, but it says, it was a steakhouse. It said, no backward hats. Yeah. So I'm like, if I worked at a restaurant and I had to go up to somebody and say, hey, I'm sorry, It's a rule. You got to take your hat off here. No problem. I wouldn't feel bad at all if I had to tell someone, hey, turn that fucking thing around. I couldn't do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Backwards hat.

[Tom Segura]

I. I don't know. I couldn't do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No hats. I get it.

[Tom Segura]

It doesn't. I could quit. I would quit the job if they're like, hey, you gotta go tell that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Person, no backwards hats.

[Tom Segura]

No backwards hats. So, like, who? And I almost. I, of course I had the hat on. I always have a hat on. I wanted to turn it around kind of just to see, but I didn't want to deal with it. But, like, I would love to see whose job it is to come up and be like, you gotta turn your hat around. That's a. That's a tough. Like, I got. If I ever have to go back.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And get a hair, like, the interview process for who that guy is at the restaurant, right? They're like, yeah, tell me to turn it around.

[Tom Segura]

All right. Let's see what you got. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, that'd be a funny clip.

[Tom Segura]

I. Yeah, I couldn't.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Weird.

[Tom Segura]

I. I couldn't do that kind of steakhouse. Yeah. The one that we love. Oh, you might. We might bleep the word. I don't know if we want to. I don't know if we want to give them. I just don't want people like, it's a great restaurant, It's a great spot, but I just. I just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I actually would think that would be a no hat place. I could.

[Tom Segura]

That's what I'm saying. I don't know why they just don't go full no hats.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'm gonna tell him.

[Tom Segura]

I think you should. I think it's. What?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Could you drop by and tell them?

[Tom Segura]

I. There's very few. Like, imagine a guy's on a date and, like, you have to walk up and go, hey, buddy, turn that thing around.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Shouldn't be taking your date to a steakhouse and be wearing a baseball cap.

[Tom Segura]

What if it's a third date?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know. It's just like, I think I. I would walk into that restaurant and I would tell my kids, take your hat off. Totally. If I didn't see a sign before.

[Tom Segura]

I went, I was like, I'm not gonna wear a hat because I think they're gonna make me take it off.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But then I was like, I. I just. I always end up walking out the door and being like, I gotta grab a hat because my hair is a mess.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

So you wore your hat?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Forward. Of course. Yeah. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

But they also know who you are in that restaurant.

[Tom Segura]

No.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe they were. I don't think they recognized us when we first went. That you, me, and Cutter went. Remember?

[Tom Segura]

Oh, yeah. But I. This time I. I didn't feel. You're the draw. You know, you're. You're the. You're. You put the asses in the seats. No one. You're fully low on your Fully law. Let me see. Oh, do we have a memory lane? And by the way, just before we do this, I don't think I've ever purchased anything because a salesperson was good. The only way that I've ever purchased something is because I took up somebody's time. And then I was like, I just feel like I should buy something because I feel bad. You know what I mean? Like, if I'm like, trying on a bunch of shirts and somebody, like, you know, sometimes when they're like, I'll take all these shirts and I'll put them in the. In the Room for you. And so sometimes I'm like, I feel like you took up so much of my time. I'm just gonna buy this T shirt because I. I feel like an asshole.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

But nobody could ever get buy something I don't want. And I see that happening all the time where people are like, I don't. I just.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I do it.

[Tom Segura]

I got caught up. Oh, wow.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know this.

[Tom Segura]

I. I would guess this is how I met your mother.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No, this is the show, Guys with Kids that I did.

[Tom Segura]

I gotta say, there are the few times where you just look exactly like your mom. It's crazy.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. I could see that one looking like my mom there.

[Tom Segura]

It's just like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's Zach Kreger. He played my husband. Zach Kreger is an amazing writer, director. He wrote and directed the movie Weapons. That just came out really well.

[Tom Segura]

I liked. There's a lot of. A lot of people arguing back and forth if they liked it or not. I liked it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Really smart gentleman. He played my husband. We did this show for a full season, 2012. Yep.

[Tom Segura]

Wow. Very good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yep.

[Tom Segura]

What. What, do we got opinions back there on Weapons? Anybody?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I didn't see it.

[Cutter]

Big fan of Weapons.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Riveting. Thanks, guys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I haven't seen it.

[Tom Segura]

No. Oh, okay, good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Talk to you later. No, I haven't seen it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Because my dad is like, you see this movie? But then I said to my dad, I'm like, did you watch this when you got home from work at like, three in the afternoon? He's like, yeah. I'm like, you can't watch time. You can't watch a movie like that at three. Like, I guess if you want to make the argument if a good movie's good, you shouldn't have to. But, like, I could see watching that during the day and being like, yeah, this is a little whatever, but it's good. It's not. It didn't feel corny to me. Most movies like that, they're like, trying to be scary or whatever.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

This is just so stupid. But I thought the acting was good. I know somebody was telling me this could be wrong, but they were saying that they listened to Jason Bateman talk about it. He said he watched it three times.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Weapons.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Because he thought the directing was, like, so good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Zach's a very talented man.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that was. That was really good, that one. You fully law. What? Quick question. What percentage of people do you think wash their hands before eating again?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

50.

[Tom Segura]

I was with my dad, so that's where this question where this Question comes from. I think he intentionally tries to get his hands dirty before eating. 50. No, Jamie, I've. I. I'm the only person who ever washes their hands that I'm around before eating. Yeah, cutters. Cutter's a good one, but can we look. Can you look up Ask Chat. GPT. What percentage of people wash your hands before eating? Varies, but studies show significant portion. Do not one survey. Only 42% of people always wash their hands before eating. That is bullshit. There's no way it's 42%. I could tell you right now. It's. It's. I'd be shocked if it was 10%. Those are people just not trying to sound like a scumbag. You know what that is? That's probably guys.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I don't know you. I don't always do it.

[Tom Segura]

That's probably guys standing next to women while they ask that question. And then the woman was like, of course I wash my hands. And the guy was like, yeah, duh. Like, do not wash their hands. I don't. I see people attack that bread basket, and it's instantly dead to me.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Same.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No meaning I attack it.

[Tom Segura]

I know.

[Cutter]

I think it depends on the context. Like, if we're talking about outside, like at a restaurant or something, then, yeah, I would. But, like, if I'm at home, you.

[Tom Segura]

Know what I mean?

[Cutter]

That's different.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I mean, I wash my hands before I cook.

[Tom Segura]

Yes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I wash my hands when I get home from, like, a grocery store or where I've, like, touched a lot of things. But I don't think. I don't go to a restaurant and think, I gotta go wash my hands before I eat.

[Cutter]

Oh, damn.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I do everything. See, that's the thing. I actually wouldn't be surprised if more people wash their hands at home because the sink is just right. Like, it's right there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It's like parties I make my kids, though. Well, like, when my kids come home from school, the first thing I make them do is wash their hands.

[Tom Segura]

I love it. It's such a nice. Yeah. You and Cutter, like, are like, no. But now I. Your oldest one will just do it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Like, he'll just go and wash his hands. I'm like, good on you.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Well, because I've Once you explain to a child why, like, they don't. Like, I tell them, like, if I took a microscope to your hand, clearly didn't work for me, But I was like, if I took a microscope to your hand, it germs literally look like little bugs. So that's, like, all over your hands, and then that would go in your mouth when you eat. So it's best to, like, get that off. So Beau has this feeling. I've given him anxiety that he has, like, bugs on his hands, so he wants to wash it off.

[Tom Segura]

I like.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And in their lunch boxes, Cutter bought these little hand wipes that we put in. They wipe their hands, hopefully before they eat.

[Tom Segura]

That's great.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Jack, for sure. Does not.

[Tom Segura]

I think we talked about Cutter following his brother around the apartment and being like, are you really loving those chips?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, my house.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. And he was. Oh, yeah, his house. And he's just following him around, eating a bag of chips, being, like, watching everything he would touch. I love it. I love it. I could watch Cutter watch people freak him out.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I should get him, like, a waistband, like mini, like Dustbuster to just, like, walk around the house with.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Like how people used to have. Like, if you sell hot dogs, they used to have change.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Remember? Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You could just get a belt, but it's like.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it'll clean up. I bet he would like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hand sanitizer. Dustbuster. What? Zins. It could be. Oh, my God. I shouldn't make this for him for Christmas.

[Tom Segura]

This is such a. This is so great.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay. A utility belt. Yes.

[Tom Segura]

Look what I wrote.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I know.

[Tom Segura]

Genius.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Zinn vacuum, Purell. What else does he need?

[Tom Segura]

Zinn is just the most important phone charger. Yeah. His. Every time he sends me a screenshot, it's 0% battery. It's always right.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe headphones.

[Tom Segura]

Head. I don't. He wears headphones a lot.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

He does the. The wired ones. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, me too. Yeah. We all.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Gum. No, because he always ends.

[Tom Segura]

Always ends.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

That's it. That's all he needs.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Maybe. You know what? You might want to double them up on the zins.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Maybe give him double. Doubles in. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

This morning, I was making Jack's bed. Cutter put Jack to bed. Last night, was making his bed. I'm like, what the is that? And there was just two Zin tins, like, in his covers underneath. Poor kid.

[Tom Segura]

What? So he's doing Zins at six is what you're saying?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Seven? Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

He's doing Zins at seven.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

No. Meaning they fell out of Cutter's pocket while he's putting him to bed.

[Tom Segura]

That's a great excuse. You know, dad, you're like, there's no way it would be all right. Okay, now, let's say. Let's say you were making a utility belt for yourself.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Headphones. For sure. I'm always looking for them. Gum, candy, like. Like a little chocolate, you know, like a little pick me up Reese's or something. Yeah, Classic foreign.

[Tom Segura]

I'm coming to you guys in the booth after, so make sure you have your hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer is pretty good.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

It'd be much more clean. A hair thing, like a hair tie, of course. Lip balm. And what about for Cutter?

[Tom Segura]

If you just give him a taser just out of left field. Just throw them. Throw them up. Maybe. Maybe give him a gun. Just have them. Just give him a gun. Just give Cutter a gun. Do you think he'd be all right?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Never.

[Tom Segura]

So what. What if you were making pepper spray? Yeah, some pepper spray. What if you were making one for me?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hand sanitizer.

[Tom Segura]

Even though I don't really like most. I'm not really a big hand sanitizer.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hand wipe. Would you do wipes? Oh, I'd give you cottonelle wipes. Even though I know you poop at home.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, that would be nice.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe I get you a canteen, like a. Just a thing of water with a straw, you know, that you can just walk around. Maybe you should just have, like, instead of people do weighted vests. Yours could just be filled with water.

[Tom Segura]

A camelback.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You drink all day.

[Tom Segura]

See, you know what? My. I would wear one of those all the time. The problem is, I don't like putting the water in that bag and then drinking it out of it.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

What if it's like a bag made of, like, silicone that doesn't absorb?

[Tom Segura]

I don't know. It just doesn't seem right to me. That's why I walk around with this guy. By the way, it's glass. Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

What else would you put in there?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Oh, Cutters would have coffee for sure.

[Tom Segura]

Coffee.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

In yours. Another hoodie.

[Tom Segura]

Another hoodie on my waist. That's cool.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Okay.

[Tom Segura]

What's that? It's another. It's another hoodie.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Another sweatshirt. Sunblock.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. I should wear sunblock more than I do, unfortunately.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I. I feel like you're always loading up when you're. When we go swimming in my house.

[Tom Segura]

Swimming. Yeah. But I'm. You know, it's. I really lather it on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

I spray the hook.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Maybe like a mini little computer. You can, like, watch things.

[Tom Segura]

Also known as a phone. Yeah. Maybe just have my phone.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Deck of cards.

[Tom Segura]

That's good. Now we're thinking. Or maybe a sharpie.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A sharpie? Yeah. A notebook with a sharpie.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Something. Yeah, Something to write down. What do we got back there. What would. If you guys had a utility belt?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Green juice.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, green juice is nice.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Some. A little arugula.

[Cutter]

Various wipes.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yes, various wipes.

[Cutter]

Yeah. You know, for your hands, for your tush. Your tush there. You know, some clips for your mustaches.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, mustache clip.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

A little. Little trim.

[Cutter]

I like it because, you know, these things, they get in the way of your mouth sometimes.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, okay to have that every once in a while. A hat.

[Cutter]

Hat. Gum.

[Tom Segura]

You know, we should make photos of us AI with our utility belts on. Can we. Can we do that?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Just tell Chat to make it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want to make. Want a picture of all of us, each with our utility belt like superheroes. Yeah.

[Cutter]

A tiny little screen that has the updated sports book numbers on it.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's good. Yeah. What about.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Also called a phone.

[Tom Segura]

What about if like a belt. We had it scrolling around our waist. Yeah, that's cool. I like that.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

There's just something different about like a little donut. It could be like a table when you sit down.

[Tom Segura]

Okay. A little inflatable. A little infl. Maybe a pillow. Inflatable.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Like a floaty.

[Tom Segura]

Niana. What do we got?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I like the wipes.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Hand lotion. Q tips, flossers.

[Tom Segura]

What are the Q tips for?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I just get random tickles in my ear sometimes, and I just need something to scratch it.

[Tom Segura]

I love.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

You know my favorite.

[Tom Segura]

To talk to you more after that answer.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My favorite feeling in the world is a Q tip in my ear.

[Tom Segura]

It's up there.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I love it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, it used to make me cough.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

My eyes, like, will roll back.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. When I was younger, it would make me cough. My mom would know I was cleaning my ears after the shower because I'd be like. I'd be like, gagging. Yeah. I don't know why. And it just stopped.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Sorry. What else?

[Tom Segura]

The floss.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Any makeup?

[Tom Segura]

Floss was a great. Was a great idea.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I never. I always put makeup in my purse and I never remember to reapply it, so I feel like that. Your glasses. A glass. A glasses cleaner.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, that's good. Any.

[Cutter]

Bro, I'm a. I hate extra on me, man. I try to take things off. I don't want anything.

[Tom Segura]

That's all right. You're allowed to say nothing. Yeah.

[Cutter]

No.

[Tom Segura]

Not one thing. Nothing. So what do you have in your pockets walking around during the day?

[Cutter]

Like, almost nothing. I have everything I have, I put down. Like, everyone sees me lose it every day because I just put everywhere I hate in my pockets. It's amazing.

[Tom Segura]

Can I Tell you, I'm not a vacation guy. I don't, I don't really like going on vacations, but one of my favorite things is having empty pockets. Yeah. Like when you're on, when you're on a vacation, I'm like, I have nothing in my pocket.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

And that's it.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah. Just a room key. And, and oh my God, the freedom.

[Cutter]

Like the, you know, everybody has the keys with like 800 keys on the damn ring.

[Tom Segura]

Mental.

[Cutter]

I have the car key fob. That's it. It's connected to the. What is it?

[Tom Segura]

The.

[Cutter]

And air tag. It's connected to the air tag. That's it. I don't have anything else on that keychain.

[Tom Segura]

Dude. My. I mean, I'm sure a lot of our grandpas. My grandpa used to have 330 keys around his waist. Yeah, it's. And they. And he'd be like, well, I need them for work. I'd be like, pop, it's 8 o'.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Clock on a Saturday too. For the back garage, for the apartment, for the upstairs, for the car, for the. His work. Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

Crazy.

[Cutter]

My parents had so many keys. I remember I would like, I would know which keychain it was. You could just hear it from a mile away.

[Tom Segura]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

A specific amount of keys, you know?

[Tom Segura]

Yeah, sure.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Which human.

[Tom Segura]

It was like one key that like.

[Cutter]

Nobody knows what it goes to.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, I think 80% of the keys my grandpa had, he just wouldn't be able. Like he. You know what it is? It's kind of like, like now in my notes section in my phone, I have like a thousand notes because eventually I just, I don't go back and delete them. I think he would be that way. Like he'd get a new key, Move, move. Get a new key to the place and just add it instead of taking the old one off. I think he just kept adding them on.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Yeah. Good for him.

[Tom Segura]

Well, that was fantastic. The utility belt slum you want?

[Christina Pazsitzky]

I'll tell them. Bendity wong. And if you're looking for a one minute man. Oh, E. Coli. It's all in me. I say we don't give a. We don't give a rat's ass. Make sitting in the bedroom bully make sitting in the dark Big dirty bass the one you fooled and locked up in the pussy Foodila.

[Tom Segura]

And that's why we're one of the biggest podcasts in the United States of America.

[Christina Pazsitzky]

Bye.

[Tom Segura]

See you next week. Not today.