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Jamie
I love that.
Rob
I started the Not a Damn Chance podcast with just the nastiest story I have.
Cutter
Part of this idea of this podcast.
Jamie
Is how you can become successful as.
Rob
Living as just a regular human.
Jamie
I went to culinary school and I only went for a few months and I dropped out.
Rob
Look at that, kids. You can drop out of culinary school and get two Michelin stars. I do what I can do so I could come back, do it all over again. Not a damn chance. Not a damn chance. You see yourself somewhere, take all the necessary steps, steps to get there. I just don't know how to quit.
Jamie
That might be my superpower. You can all try and stop me. I hope you do.
Rob
Consistency was exactly what life was all about. Don't be genius here and wild there. There's a beautiful moment where obstacles become opportunities, messes become messages.
Jamie
I got shot in the face.
Rob
Jail was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I did put my head in a noose. You heard 300 people dying.
Jamie
Nobody can tell me, like, you're breaking the rules.
Rob
You're doing this wrong.
Cutter
There's no right or wrong. Don't care what it takes. I'm doing this.
Rob
We have a phrase for that.
Jamie
It's called not a damn chance. Not today.
Rob
So when I first saw you, like, they had the orange cup and the light looked kind of orange, and you were like, yeah, I'm sunburned. Yeah, real sunburn.
Jamie
But like, so, like, I have like a tan. But like, I don't want to get too risque here, but like, can you.
Rob
See how you said it's painful, right?
Jamie
It hurts so bad. I'm not a person that burns.
Rob
I don't remember you ever getting sunburned.
Jamie
So I also recently started testosterone.
Rob
Whoa.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
I'm on the T. What is that supposed to do?
Jamie
I don't know. I'm like wondering if, like, my body chemistry is different. Like.
Rob
But I'm saying, why are you on testosterone? What are you supposed to do?
Jamie
Because, like. Cause I'm trying to, like, be healthier. Because I've been hearing a lot of benefits about testosterone in women. And I mean, I'm on like a gram, but it's like I have like pimples now, really, But I have definitely more energy.
Rob
You and your 12 year old son are gonna be going through the same things, right?
Jamie
You're gonna.
Rob
Your voice is gonna get deeper.
Jamie
This is the things they told me look out for. She was like, look out if your voice gets deeper. She was like, take a picture of yourself in like a Sports bra and like, your underwear because your shoulders could get wider and your waist smaller, which I wouldn't mind, to be honest. She told me to look out for, like, breaking out. She told me to look out for, like, hair. Like, more hair. And then. I don't know what the technical term is, but there's a thing that happens to women where your clitoris grows so big it looks like a mini penis.
Rob
I was going to bring that up, but I didn't want to be too vulgar, so I'm happy you did because.
Jamie
Yeah, because that's like, the main thing. I was like, that's not a no go for me, but apparently on the. The amount I'm on, that wouldn't be an issue, but some. Someone put it, like, directly on the spot. The. The testosterone.
Rob
Testosterone on their clit.
Jamie
Yeah. Yeah. Cutter sent me an article about it.
Rob
So you got a big hairy clit now. That's what you might. Well, if you don't watch.
Jamie
Not what I'm going for, but yeah.
Rob
But are you gonna. You're not gonna feel it grown, so you're gonna have to be examining down there to make sure?
Jamie
Yeah, I mean, I guess.
Rob
All right.
Jamie
I mean, I have a partner to.
Rob
Yeah, but he's not willing. Partner barely gets any sex. When he does, he's not gonna be like, hey, your cliff's looking a little big.
Jamie
Barely get sex. You know, Rob, you have to think about this, okay? You know, because how. What's the longest relationship you've ever been in?
Rob
Yeah. A year.
Jamie
Okay. Anything af. Anything more than two or three years. Like, sex just changes. It's just what it is. You know what I mean? Like, it's like you. You. It's not that this is. The desire goes away, but like that. Like, you. You start to, like, not sleep all cuddly anymore. Like, you just sleep next to each other. Like, the physical stuff just, like, evolves.
Rob
I don't sleep cuddly from day one.
Jamie
You don't?
Rob
No. I mean, I'll cuddle, but when it's time to sleep, it's like, get the out of here.
Jamie
Really? Not even in a brand new relationship.
Rob
I'm 130 degrees when I sleep. It's unbearable for anyone. I can't even. Normally when I go. When I start dating a girl, I have to start bringing my own blanket over to her place because I need to sleep with a blanket that's like this thin.
Jamie
You'll travel with your own blanket. Does it come in your paper? In my Whole Foods bag.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The last. The Last relationship I was in, the first time I slept in her bed, I woke up in a pool. So I can't do any sort of down. I can't do anything. I'll just. It could be 40 degrees in the room and I. Under there, I. In my, in my sleep, I just sweat like crazy.
Jamie
Wow.
Rob
I think a lot of people are like that. No, no, before. Great. We're watching a movie, whatever you want. But as soon as, as soon as Robbie needs to roll over and go to bed, it's. If you're on me, it's going to be bad for both of us. It's. And it's not like girls get upset because they get it. I've always been. I sleep and it's. Yeah. Really bad.
Jamie
Is that healthy?
Rob
I don't know. Could we look right up? Is it healthy to be like your.
Jamie
Body'S like hot and you're releasing all your toxins at night?
Rob
I guess. I don't know. If I sleep in a down comforter. It's. I wake up like I got out of a pool.
Jamie
So when you slept in my house in the casita, did you sleep on top of it? That's the down comforter.
Rob
Yeah, I probably did something to like.
Jamie
You know, can you sleep with no blanket?
Rob
I need like a sheet at least or something. But it's also like the down comforter mixed with a person, like it makes it even worse. Like it's, it's. I don't know, something happens. But yeah.
Jamie
I mean, have you ever tried a temperature controlled mattress or something?
Rob
No, but I want, I want to.
Jamie
Get a cold mattress.
Rob
Oh, yeah, yeah. But isn't. Don't you sleep on that and then that's uncomfortable. What does it say? Zolo. I mean, it basically says if it's really excessive that it could be an issue. But it's kind of just vague sounding.
Jamie
Really excessive, isn't it?
Rob
Yeah. Okay, well, speaking of your giant clit, there's. There's something that I've been wanting to ask you.
Jamie
Okay.
Rob
Which is so, you know, as a man, you always hear like you don't know what women go through. Right. With, with whether it's the period giving birth. And a lot of it's true. We don't, we don't know. So I have a friend who's a female and she's like, I have to go to gynecologist tomorrow. And like in that moment I realized I'm like, I have no idea what that means. I know, right?
Jamie
The process.
Rob
The only thing I know about the Gynecologist is you have to sit in that chair with your legs in the stirrups up on the thing. That's the only thing I know which doesn't seem too fun as it is.
Jamie
It's a vulnerable position.
Rob
Yeah. So I want to know, can you walk men through what it's like to go to a gynecologist appointment?
Jamie
Sure.
Rob
Okay, enlighten us, Jen.
Jamie
All right. You go in like any other doctor's office, you know, no prep. Nope. No. No prep. No. You don't have to fast. You don't have to clean.
Rob
That's cool. You might want to pee before.
Jamie
Yeah, no, because when you get there, one of the first things they do is get a urine sample to check, you know, whatever if you're pregnant, your hormone levels making sure there's no bacteria in there. Then they have you change into a paper gown that opens to the front. So basically it's like a big, long paper vest. And you sit on the chair waiting. And then when they come in, you chat a little bit. See, bringing up anything if you need to. And then the first thing you do is a breast exam. At least for me, I would think.
Rob
That'S a different doctor.
Jamie
No, you lay back and you put your arms over your head, and they kind of just, you know, feel around your boobies to make sure there's no lumps or anything. And then you slide your butt down to the very end. You put your heels in the stirrups, and you're just like spread eagle there. And they put the light. And they get on their little stool and get right up there. And then they have a bunch of tools. One that looks like a metal duck face, I guess I would call it. And they. Right, Barley, am I doing good? Okay, you're doing great, Jamie. Thank you. The only other female here, imagine Barley.
Rob
Was like, what the hell are you talking about?
Jamie
Where have you been? They put it in and open it, and then I think it stays open. And then they do something. Is this, like, really what people is. Am I gonna, like, turn off our listeners right now?
Rob
You never know. But I think you're enlightening some people. You know, what do we do?
Jamie
I'll wrap this.
Rob
No, no, no. We. Jamie, we have nothing but time.
Jamie
Okay.
Rob
Yes. Yeah, I feel. I feel it's interesting.
Jamie
Long Q tip looking thing. And they do a pap smear, which is. They basically put it inside and swab around, like, get a swab of the situation in there. She looks in there. He or she looks in there. Then the most Uncomfortable part is she sticks her fingers in and then presses on, like, on top of your belly.
Rob
Right.
Jamie
I'm feeling things.
Rob
Looking for cans or what are we.
Jamie
I actually don't know. What are they looking for when they do that? What do you think?
Rob
She's just having fun. I think they're looking for, like, polyps on your uterus or, like.
Jamie
Like cysts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if anything's painful, and then do they put their hands and fingers in the rectum? I don't think so.
Rob
I haven't had that done there. You'd remember that. No.
Jamie
I don't think so.
Rob
That's crazy. You won't give it up to Cutter, but you don't even know if your doctor gets in there. That's crazy.
Jamie
You mean I won't do the back door for Cutter?
Rob
Yeah, but your doctor may or may not. You don't even know.
Jamie
Well, you know, if it's for my health and wellness.
Rob
It's for your husband's health and wellness.
Jamie
That's true.
Rob
Yeah. Which ultimately leads to yours.
Jamie
And then it's usually done. And then you kind of sit up awkwardly and, like, talk about kids or the weather or travel plans, and you done. You're done. And you go home.
Rob
Do they try and make a joke when you're getting into that position where, like, your feet are up? Do they try and be like. Well, like, trying. Do they have any lines?
Jamie
No, I think you try to, like, you're just avoiding talking about what you're actually doing. Do you know what I mean? You try to keep it as casual and as, like, this is no big deal as possible. And then now, because of my age, then I have to then go, usually after that, like, shortly after that, do a mammogram, which is not fun.
Rob
We'll save that for the next episode.
Jamie
Yeah, we could save that for another one. And I'll be fucking overload right now.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you. Have you ever. So you obviously have a woman gynecologist.
Jamie
I do right now.
Rob
That I would never allow a man. But do you have. Have you ever had a man?
Jamie
Yes. My very first gynecologist was this man named Bruce Rebold. He was in all my plays with, like, that I would do community theater. Like, he played my dad and, like, so many things. Older gay man.
Rob
And you just saved it with the gay. Because otherwise I was about to be like, that's fine.
Jamie
And I was. I had to go super early. I had to go super young. I was, like, 13 or 14. Because doesn't matter and irrelevant. But I remember my knees were, like, shaking. I was. That's gotta be scared. I was so nervous and, like, having him be somebody that was like, such a loving presence in my life, like, he made me feel very safe and, like, comfortable.
Rob
It's gotta be women, because if you're a. If you're a straight guy and there's a poor young girl, or knees or you can't.
Jamie
You gotta tell you this story of when I. When I moved to la, everyone was telling me, you gotta go see this doctor. Whatever. He's the best. He's the best thing. So I went to go see him and when I'm sitting in his office, he kept being like, how do I know you? How do I know you? And, like, I didn't want to. I'm like, I don't know. He's like, he's like, I know. He's like, I know you're an actress, but, like, you look so much like somebody, I can't figure out what it is.
Rob
He's looking in your puss Whistling the.
Jamie
SOPRANOS THEME song so then we. He goes down. I'm literally in the position. He's like, in my vagina. And he was like, oh, my God. I know. He's like, you look just like Marisa Tomei. Like, interesting timing. Maybe we are twins.
Rob
Wow.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
I thought you were going to be like, it would have been weird if he's like, I know exactly who you are. He's like, in your puss. That's fucking.
Jamie
He was.
Rob
Wow. Okay.
Jamie
Shout out, Dr. Katz.
Rob
Shout out.
Jamie
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Rob
Again, speaking of the you know men and women and why, I've just recently realized 0% of women Zinn. No, you know women who Zins. Really? But I feel okay compared to. I feel like when I was smoking cigarettes, it was kind of like half and half. Like when you go out to smoke a cigarette, it's like half the people are men, half women.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
Where with Zinn seems to be at least 99% men.
Jamie
It feels more men. Yes. But I feel like I've. I know a couple women that's in.
Rob
Really?
Jamie
Yeah. My friend Jen Zins. Yeah.
Rob
Wow.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
You guys know women who Zen. My best friend, Caroline Zens, and she's like my age.
Jamie
Wow.
Rob
Whimsin.
Jamie
I love it. It's like they Zinn. It's like a verb. Are they Zinners?
Rob
Yeah. I wonder if it's because Zins and stuff are largely advertised on podcasts, and podcasts are often largely male audiences.
Jamie
Are podcasts largely male audiences?
Rob
Yeah.
Jamie
I didn't know that.
Rob
The ones advertising Zin Zen.
Jamie
The ones advertising Zinn, obviously.
Rob
Yeah. We're normally. But today, since we're getting into the gynecologist thing, I think we're going to be half and half. We're going to be half men, half women. Because we're going full.
Jamie
We're really speaking to the audience today. It's nice of you, Rob.
Rob
Okay, again, we're going men. Let's keep.
Jamie
I'm talking using my testosterone.
Rob
You're on the can. Can you look up what percent of women Zinn or compared to men? Another thing with what that I happen to have A theme here. Men and women. For every 10 people who get sent to the principal's office in school, how many you think are women?
Jamie
One.
Rob
I think the same thing.
Jamie
One out of 10.
Rob
I think the exact same thing.
Jamie
I think 10%, I think.
Rob
Right. I think 90% of people who get sent to the principal's office are boys. Why do you think that is?
Jamie
I think that boys have a harder. Young boys have a harder time controlling themselves than young girls. I can. And that's only my observation of like seeing young boys and girls, like seeing my kids and being in their classrooms and things like that. Yeah, they just get riled up around each other more than little girls do.
Rob
And also, like, boys kind of want to show off for some reason. It doesn't seem like girl. Especially like young girls in the fifth grade. Like, I don't. I remember up until like fifth grade, it seemed like it was only boys who got in trouble, like almost 100%.
Jamie
And then I would get in trouble, though for talking.
Rob
For talking, yeah.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
But not really. Like, she's a problem.
Cutter
Just.
Rob
Yeah, no, of course. Yeah.
Jamie
No, no, I couldn't. No, I couldn't have never lived with myself like that. But I was definitely. Yeah, no, but the boys were the ones that would be like, disrespectful or like really rile up the teachers and get them upset. Yes.
Rob
And then I feel like that was up until fifth grade. Then I remember like going into whatever junior high. Then like the skater girls kind of surfaced.
Jamie
Skater girls?
Rob
Yeah, there were like skater girls and like jankos and would be like, kind of bad girls. And they were. You were the first time where you were like, oh, girls can be bad too. Like these, these girls are bad. Yeah. Like they're.
Jamie
Did you like that?
Rob
I found it inch. I like that. Like, because, you know, we would start doing like all nighters where it would be like, oh, somebody says, like, we're staying at this person's house and you say you're staying at that person's house. And then we go to the park and like spend the whole night in the park. And then what? Yeah, you like, you hang out, like.
Jamie
When you're saying all night, like, what are you talking about?
Rob
Until, until the sun comes up the next day and then until you can go home. So then like you come home at 10am and you're like, yeah, I'm just getting home from, you know, at Rex's house. Yeah, but you pull an all nighter.
Jamie
What was your type in when you were young? Like, what were the Girls you would go for.
Rob
I mean, when I was young, as soon as a girl had boobs, it was like, she's the hottest girl in school. Yeah. As soon as. As soon as any girl.
Jamie
So. Even a Janco girl.
Rob
Oh, my God. Of course. But when a girl didn't have boobs and then showed up with boobs, you're like, the hottest girl I've ever seen. Instantly you were like, oh, my God, has everyone seen.
Jamie
This is bringing back so much insecurity for me because I didn't have boobs for so long, and I did. I got no attention from guys.
Rob
Well, there were also, like, pretty girls who didn't have boobs. And, like, that was fine, but.
Jamie
But it wasn't fine.
Rob
It wasn't like they kicked the door in. You know what I mean? Where, like, you. Like. Like, when a girl showed up with boobs, it was like the fire department was coming. Like, it was like they fucking kicked the door and were like, we're here.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
You were like, holy shit. And then you're just. I can't. Like, that teacher's like. And you're like, oh, my God, this girl next to me has boobs. Like, she was my friend. Now she has boobs.
Jamie
I forget. My friend Kathy in fifth grade showed up to school one day, and she had a sweatshirt. And I could see. See her boobs through her sweatshirt. And that was just. I remember going home to my mom. Like, I saw it through her champion sweatshirt. She has boobs.
Rob
Yeah. It was the whole. Like, you would leave. You know, you'd be in first period, just trying to control it, and then you get in the whole way, and.
Jamie
You'Re like, oh, my God, did you get boners?
Rob
You see?
Jamie
So what do you do with. What did you do about boners?
Rob
When you're younger, you pray. You could do the talk, but mainly you pray the teacher doesn't call on you, and you pray that it's gone before.
Jamie
And what if it wasn't?
Rob
Then you have to do the talk. Yeah. And usually my. My fifth grade outfit was very similar to my outfits, which is a hoodie. But I wouldn't wear. I would wear basketball shorts. So you kind of got to flip it. You flip it up. You tie the thing, and then you put the hoodie over it.
Jamie
Oh, my God.
Rob
Yeah.
Jamie
That's rough being a dude. A little dude.
Rob
Yeah, it was. It was embarrassing at times, for sure. And then, like, you know, I don't know. Yeah. There's times where you're like, this. This is not going away. You know, there. Yeah, there were. I remember there's. I remember one specific time I was wearing these blue basketball shorts, and this, like, girl just came in, and she was wearing something where, like, you could see the top of, like, her cleavage. And you were like, oh, I was probably, like, eighth grade. I remember being like, oh, my God. And they're like, she's riding stuff on the chalkboard, and you're supposed to be writing it down. And I'm like, I can't.
Jamie
No wonder you couldn't stop yourself with Drea.
Rob
Yeah. Yeah, you can't. You know, this is.
Jamie
Her boobs and butt was out all the time. All the time were prime.
Rob
She was throwing side boom around in, like, the 90s.
Jamie
That's right. She was.
Rob
Nobody was throwing side originated that. Yeah, she was a. What do you call those?
Jamie
Pioneer.
Rob
Yeah, she was a side boo. Pioneer. Did we look up what % of women? Zin. 31%.
Jamie
Wow.
Rob
That's higher than. Yeah, that seems higher than I would think. Like, the.
Jamie
Oh, my God. I just went on a girls trip. This woman in our group of women that we all met here in Austin has a home in Mexico. All the guys had gone on a golf trip maybe a year ago. And when they were there, they were like, the girls need to do this at one point. And so that's sort of how it originated. And again, it was like two and a half, three days. It was perfect amount of time. It was great.
Rob
And what is it? What do you do for food?
Jamie
There is a chef in the house dream.
Rob
That's the greatest. So you'll just be like, hey, I want to grill cheese. And they fire up. Wow, that's. So you guys, like, never really left the house.
Jamie
I had the best chicken tortillas. No. Barely left the house, which is like, my dream. Chicken tortillas, a chicken tortilla soup.
Rob
Ah, chicken tortilla soup. Okay. He's a Mexican fellow.
Jamie
Yeah, we were in Mexico.
Rob
There's a lot of white chefs in Mexico. There's a lot of every kind of Mexico.
Jamie
But we had a. We had a local chef.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jamie
Who was fantastic.
Rob
That's good.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
What does he leave at a certain hour? You got him all. All the time on the job?
Jamie
No, I think they're there certain hours, but, like, the fridge is stocked with, like, whatever we didn't finish, like, breakfast. You know, like, make your own omelets. Like, who's bartending bananas? No, bartender.
Rob
But I mean, like, who out of the girls is there one girl who's like.
Jamie
I mean, oh, that.
Rob
Oh, yeah.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
Okay. Very nice. So you had fun?
Jamie
We had a great time. We did good.
Rob
And you. Sorry, I forget for you. So you. You guys barely left the house.
Jamie
Barely left the house. It was, you know, it was connected to kind of like a resort. So we did go to, like, the. The pool, the community pool there once. And we did go out to eat once to this restaurant that turns into kind of like a club after. But we had to bring a bodyguard because the guy whose house was there had, like, was kidnapped once. Like, bag over the head. Like, had to pay off stuff. It's very not safe.
Rob
Do you know how much they had to pay?
Jamie
No, I didn't get. I didn't ask those questions.
Rob
Do you know. Do you. I mean, I think we need him on the pod. They just put a bag over and said, do you know where they took him?
Jamie
No. Cutter knows the story more than me. He was actually just telling it to me in the car, the way here.
Rob
Really?
Jamie
Yeah. Cuz obviously, you know, when I told Cutter I think we're going out tonight, he was very concerned.
Rob
I bet. I bet he was.
Jamie
Yeah.
Rob
Yeah.
Jamie
There was a very large table of very big Sopranos fans, though.
Rob
Mexican or American?
Jamie
American men.
Rob
Yeah. Okay.
Jamie
Which oddly, made me feel safe.
Rob
Right? Yeah.
Jamie
I was like, I have 35 Guidos looking out for me. I'm fine.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we have. Do you have a memory lane over there, Zolo? I do. Oh.
Jamie
Oh, my God. Is this a paparazzi of Rob is.
Rob
Oh, man. Shout out to Cutter. Cutter's gonna love this, huh? Is this. Is this my Ben Affleck moment right here? That's exactly what I said.
Jamie
This is gonna be a meme. We send each other all the time.
Rob
What, is there 10 minutes left in the show? We should get Cutter in here to tell us the story and enjoy this. You should come in.
Jamie
Come on, babe. What was your Gatorade?
Rob
This was.
Jamie
You had a rough night the night before? Getting.
Rob
Every night. Yeah. Every night was rough.
Jamie
You're in shape, though.
Rob
No, I'm just not fat. I definitely wasn't working out at all. This is.
Jamie
Yeah, no, this is all you, Robbie. Talk about it. I can't help here.
Rob
I mean, I don't know. I don't know where I was. I'm downtown. If I had to guess, I'd say around, like, 14th Street, 9th Avenue, if you got.
Jamie
How the hell are you saying that?
Rob
Listen, I just. Just vibes. I knew my. Where I would be. I don't.
Jamie
Is that 14th and 9th? Is so specific.
Rob
It's just a spot where I'd hang. Yeah. When was this? Fuck. Do I go, 10 years ago?
Jamie
Look at your pumas.
Rob
Yeah, maybe a little more than 10 years ago. Maybe 11 years ago. Do you have a date on this? I do. Okay. Hold on. Wait. What? I'm gonna say 2014. Come in here. Cutter. Cutter, did you see the. Did you see the Affleck moment over here?
Jamie
We could share. Mike.
Cutter
Yes.
Rob
You look good. Cut. That's a good shirt for you.
Cutter
That's my only good shirt.
Rob
Yeah. You're going to dinner tonight.
Cutter
This is all I got.
Rob
Yeah. You want to put one of your headphones in?
Cutter
I'm good.
Rob
I can hear okay. Oh, you got the. Oh, I wanted to ask you about that too. Is that. Go ahead.
Jamie
Good.
Cutter
Amazing picture.
Rob
This is your whole vibe.
Cutter
Like, I actually like. Like, I kind of like. I love. I love the feeling you're feeling there. Is that bad?
Rob
You're. You're sad that you didn't get to hang out fully with this guy.
Cutter
What time is it, you think?
Rob
Oh, this is. I'd say it's about three in the afternoon, maybe.
Cutter
Yeah. Have just waking up probably.
Rob
Yeah.
Cutter
Haven't eaten.
Rob
No. No way. Yeah. Just full smoking and Gatorade. That was my Gatorade. I was yellow Gatorade. It was always in my hand. Yeah, for sure.
Jamie
Die in your body.
Rob
I know. What do we. I'm gonna go with fort.
Jamie
There it is.
Rob
We need to get a side. But even the sh. Blues are kind of the vibe blue.
Jamie
You're both in the shade, by the way.
Rob
Hold on, hold on. Did I do this first? Is Ben Affleck doing me?
Jamie
Wait, you both have the same shade of blue shirt and pumas. What is happening?
Rob
Is Cutter. Wait, Cutter Move. Is Cutter gonna be. Is Cutter gonna be in my shot the whole time when they have to edit it? That's good. I think. I think Ben Affleck might have been doing me. I thought I was doing Ben Affleck. What year? We gotta find out what year this was for Ben Affleck.
Cutter
But he's still doing that every day.
Jamie
Cutter sends me every time we have family in town staying with us. Cutter will send me that photo, like, multiple times during the day.
Cutter
Nothing can describe a moment more than that picture.
Rob
It's so good. So what, was I right? I'm gonna guess 2014. Is that right or no? 2012. 2012. Yeah. See? See, that makes more sense because that means I was still drinking. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I'm probably hungover.
Cutter
I've seen the Ben Affleck getting out of the car with the paparazzi, walking in the video with JLo.
Rob
Yeah. I think you've sent it to me.
Cutter
That's just as good.
Rob
Can you.
Jamie
Can somebody be my dream guest on this pod?
Rob
Really?
Jamie
Yeah. Because of these photos, I feel like I know you, and I would like to be friends with you.
Rob
Somebody had him on recently. Theo Vaughan. Yeah. Yeah.
Jamie
We shout out Ben Affleck.
Rob
Can one of you look up when that photo was taken? The. The Ben Affleck cigarette? Yeah. Let me look. Photo. We might have a. We might have a beef. I might have to. He. He. I should be. I must be after 2012. It's not that old of a photo. Yeah. Yeah. This is so perfect for Cutter. This is like. It's so funny that you've sent me that photo so many times.
Jamie
I want to zoom in on Robbie.
Cutter
Meditation you guys are doing, you know?
Rob
Yeah. We're like, it's all going to be over soon. That's what I'm thinking there, you know? It's all gonna be over soon, Robbie. Yeah. We got a meteor. They keep saying that meteor is gonna miss. Huh? But now. Now I'm happy. I love living, but, man, back then, when you're hungover every day, it's. I'm probably on Percocets there, you know? I probably just got out of a cab.
Cutter
It's great.
Rob
Yeah. Great time. Oh, wait, Cutter, do you want to share a little bit about what happened? Your buddy got kidnapped in Mexico.
Cutter
No, no, no.
Rob
I mean, anything you could share. Do you know where?
Cutter
They don't know much about it, to be honest.
Rob
There you go.
Jamie
Oh, my God.
Rob
I think I might be wearing a diamond earring back then, too. That might be before I took out the diamond earring. Yeah. Listen, that was every day.
Jamie
Did you have any idea that paparazzi was there?
Rob
No. I have. It probably wasn't even paparazzi. It was probably just some person. But I. I guarantee you here, I'm on Percocet and Xanax. I don't know. I'm probably hungover, too. The Ben affleck photo was 2016.
Cutter
Oh.
Rob
He saw this and was like, I can capitalize on that. I think. I think Ben Affleck saw that and was like, the world's missing.
Jamie
He's like, I got a blue sweater and a blue shoe.
Rob
Wow, Robbie, it does make me want a stove. It does make. I do miss smoking Stokes. That's. That's. Sometimes that's nice. I haven't had one in 10 years. I wonder if it would feel like, shitty or good.
Cutter
Probably shitty, but then great. You should do it. We should do it.
Rob
Yeah. It just says you were in the meat packing district.
Jamie
I am actually in shock that you knew that.
Rob
November backpack, November 9th. I probably had a bottle of Xanax, bottle of perks. I wonder if you can see the bottles in my. I would always have weed on me. I would always, you know.
Jamie
Are you holding a baby in one of those photos?
Rob
Here are the other photos from the gallery.
Jamie
Oh, wait, wait. I would need to see the whole slide.
Rob
Wait, no. The one you were just about to click on. It looks pretty funny, too. Cutter's cutter. These are the best. Wow. I could. I could bring in some stoke moments from my life. I'm sure I could. I. I could look through my phone and find a couple of stoke moments that I think you'll appreciate.
Cutter
Are you holding a goat right there?
Rob
No.
Jamie
Is there a bird on your shoulder? What the hell was that?
Rob
This was during my pirate phase. Yeah.
Jamie
Was there a bird on his shoulder in one of those?
Cutter
It was in the door.
Rob
Oh.
Jamie
Pirate phase.
Rob
Listen, this was, you know. Oh, here. This is the best, too. Like, these websites were like, hey, do you want to buy this photo? It's $150.
Jamie
I would pay money for this.
Rob
Yeah, that's true. They finally got a valuable one for $39.
Cutter
Worth it.
Jamie
Worth it.
Rob
Yeah. No, I'm holding a dog. That's a charity poker tournament. The bottom one, the last one. Are you holding a goat? You said.
Cutter
It looks like a goat, right? What is that?
Rob
It's. It's a dog. So if you want to hear. So if you want to hear a great little, Little tale here, why I look so fat and happy. I look like a, you know, a little.
Jamie
You look like a lesbian.
Rob
Well, yeah, well, I. I. So I was dating a girl who was a stripper. This is in Vegas. I showed up. This thing was at whatever, like, 7 o' clock. I showed up at whatever, 4 o' clock. She picks me up. She has Xanax and weed for me. We go up to my.
Jamie
What a gal.
Rob
Amazing. We go up to my room. We, you know, we do the thing. And then I'm like, all right, I gotta go to this charity event. She's like, all right, I'll see you later. And I was just. I show up to this. This carpet. They put a dog in my arm, and I'm on pills. And I'm like, man, life is dope. I'm like, things are Good.
Jamie
You know, such a backstory for this photo that I needed.
Rob
Well, that was. Yeah. Me and the goat. Shout out when. So, Jamie, you got Cutter. Is that the Rolex that you got Cutter?
Jamie
Yes.
Rob
Very nice. So when you decide you're gonna get him a gift like that, what kind of thought goes into it?
Jamie
Only gift I've ever gotten him that surprised him and that he didn't return.
Rob
Really?
Jamie
Is that true?
Cutter
Yeah.
Rob
What can you tell us some things that you've returned before?
Cutter
I don't really return.
Jamie
I got him. I. I got him a humidor fridge.
Rob
I remember that. Yeah. You showed that to me before.
Jamie
Does that mean.
Rob
Does it. Does it pain you to return it because you know that she's going to be upset or you're like, no, this.
Jamie
Is what you do not hesitate.
Rob
Oh, you remember he returned the soda at Swerte three times.
Cutter
Now, that was not abnormal.
Rob
Oh, my God.
Cutter
It was a flat soda. You return. We talked about this.
Jamie
We have.
Rob
Not you. Not with you, but no. Yes. If you want to. Returning a flat soda once, I think you don't do. But if you want to do that again. But then when the next one comes and it's still flat and you're like, excuse me, this is flat again. What do you think they're going to do?
Cutter
Fix it.
Rob
But they didn't. I know they're not going to fix it. Dude, you're crazy.
Jamie
Cutter should be the co host of this podcast, and I'll just pop in every once in a while. Your conversations are much more interesting.
Rob
No, Cutter's too quiet to be the co host. He's got his moments where he's good, but then sometimes he's just. He's gone. He gives you nothing.
Jamie
I actually know what you're talking about.
Rob
Yeah, you're always. You know, you'll always. You'll always provide.
Cutter
Yeah.
Rob
How was the. How was Jamie being away for a few days? How'd you handle it?
Cutter
Great.
Rob
Yeah. You were all right? Yeah.
Cutter
The boys are. The boys were dialed in, you know, had a lot of baseball.
Jamie
I give him a lot of credit. He did not one time make me feel bad about being gone. Never complained once about the boys.
Cutter
That's the.
Jamie
You did a good job. And. And what did you get Right when I got home?
Cutter
Yeah.
Jamie
Yep.
Rob
Did it. You got some. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Congrats.
Jamie
I told him to be careful of my sunburn, but, you know.
Rob
Yeah.
Cutter
There's always like a. There's always like. Like a pre. Like, this is where we're at. Like, it's never flow. It's like, here's the guardrails to this session that I have to obey.
Rob
Can you think of any previous guardrails that you could share with us?
Cutter
Usually, like, no, I'm tired, so I want to do it, but I'm tired, so make it fast. And I'm like, okay, does that.
Rob
Do you like that? Because sometimes that's great, but other times you're like, I don't want to make it fast.
Cutter
But I think if she realized, like, it'd be faster if I didn't.
Rob
If she didn't say, make it fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cutter
You don't want to do this. So this. It's clear.
Rob
Yeah. Right.
Cutter
Yeah.
Rob
Any other guard. I like sex guardrails. This is a very entertaining subject to me. Jamie Lynn's top ten guardrails of lovemaking.
Cutter
Yeah. My beard's always too rough.
Jamie
Your beard gets.
Rob
Oh, yeah. I've had to deal with that.
Cutter
But, like, you know.
Rob
Yeah, I, I one time.
Jamie
Sometimes it's not like that perfect length where it hurts, hurts.
Rob
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jamie
Another day or two.
Cutter
She's talking about the beard. Just the beard there.
Rob
Did you. Did you. Did you have any comments when you saw her come home sunburnt? Were you like, I told you to put on the.
Cutter
No, I was like, yeah, you're out of. You're out of sun shape, I guess, because she never burned. So it was. It was interesting to see for sure.
Rob
Have you noticed her being higher in t at all? Have you noticed any difference?
Cutter
Yeah. Good energy. We had sex, you know.
Rob
That's good.
Cutter
Yeah. Yeah. The tea's good. You need to up the dose a little bit.
Rob
No, right away.
Jamie
I can't up.
Cutter
It's not from that up it.
Jamie
Yes, it is from that. It's one of the number one side effects.
Rob
Cutter loves upping the dose, though, on anything, I think. Yeah, I think we're a big up those guy kind of guy. Me too. Yeah, I like it too. Listen, I'm an up those guy myself.
Cutter
Oh, yeah.
Rob
Let's see. Oh, so. So how much thought for you goes into the. The watch, like, or.
Jamie
A lot of thought. This was actually a great effort on my part. Like, I knew that he liked this.
Cutter
I got the camera here. There you go.
Jamie
You look at the camera. That's not how it works, babe.
Rob
No, no, no, no. He was adjusting that for your. Your look in the camera.
Jamie
I knew that he liked this watch. I really wanted to get him something very special for. What was your birthday.
Cutter
Yeah.
Jamie
And I called a Friend that really likes watches, that I know he talks about watches with all the time to, like, for some advice. And then he sent me to a guy, and that's how it. That's how it happened. And it was truly the only time I can ever remember him, like, feeling very surprised. And I think he was surprised about the watch, but more surprised that I did as well as I did.
Rob
Was it between that and, like, other ones, or did. Was that it right away?
Jamie
Because this was the. Like, the price point for me, and all it. It hit all the. The criteria.
Rob
Did you do any negotiating?
Jamie
I did a little, yes.
Rob
James, you got to do that because there. There's always room.
Jamie
I was like, how. I was like, what can you do for me?
Rob
Yeah.
Jamie
I was like, is that the best? And he's like, let me get back to you for a minute. I was really proud of myself.
Rob
That's the move. Yeah, I like that. I. What? I'm not into watches or jewelry or anything, but I love watching people haggle for jewelry on 47th street in New York. I love it when he's like, come on, he's the best. There's one guy who. He's.
Jamie
Diamond district.
Rob
Oh, it's so good. And he's like, how much is that? He's like, 42,000. He's like, give me the real price. Like, he always says that. He's like, what's the real price? And they always come back with something different. They're Never like, no, 42. They're always like, all right, fine. Like, it's so good.
Jamie
So good.
Rob
No, it's a very, very nice watch. Where. Yeah, you did good. Any updates you want to give? You haven't been on the pod in a while. Any. Any cutter?
Cutter
No updates.
Rob
Anything that's been bothering you lately? You got any. What were those called? Your rattled. Your rattled list. Anything new on there?
Cutter
Wait, I gotta check. It's been a minute.
Rob
We gotta. Are you continuously adding to it all the time?
Cutter
I haven't. In a minute, you have to speak into the mic. Okay.
Rob
Do you agree with me that it doesn't seem like a lot of women Zinn?
Cutter
I think more will start, but in Sweden, it's a huge thing. So, like, Sweden, like, most of the women do the snus, which is like.
Rob
The tobacco in the pack thing, a little different than Zinn.
Cutter
Yeah. Yeah. So that's why, you know, Swedish. It's like. It's like a thing.
Rob
They said it's 30% women. Who's in. I didn't think. I didn't think so at all.
Jamie
I mean, you know a couple women that's in a couple of our friends, but they're.
Rob
They don't do these in, like, guys in where they're like. Right.
Cutter
No, they do it, like, when they drink.
Jamie
No.
Rob
Yeah.
Jamie
Does it every day.
Rob
Okay.
Cutter
I'm just calling out about it.
Jamie
Well, I don't think it's, like, anything to be ashamed about.
Rob
Get the Zen in.
Cutter
All right. I got a few.
Rob
All right, let's hear it before we wrap up.
Cutter
People bringing their own water bottles to airports. Rattles me.
Rob
Yeah, I don't like that. What do you hate about it?
Jamie
People walk around.
Cutter
I don't, like, like, filling it up with, like, the tap water. It's, like, really weird.
Rob
And they have to pour it out before they go through security until, like, a g.
Cutter
The amount of Burger King commercials I see, I don't know who still eats Burger King when valet guys move my seat. Like, if you can't drive to park it, Like, I can't. I actually hate valet. Valet now. Like, I can't do it.
Rob
And then also, like, you're paying them to do that, which is annoying. You know, it's like when I. When people are like, you don't want to go on vacation? And I'm like, well, I'm doing something I don't like, and then I'm spending a bunch of money.
Cutter
Yeah.
Rob
I hate Valley.
Cutter
I think it's stupid Christmas decoration. Timing. I think it's crazy that, like, Christmas music and light starts, like, a month and a half before it actually makes me insane.
Rob
I don't. I don't mind so much that it. When it starts. What I mind is people's excitement over it. And it feels very artificial to me most of the time where, like, in. In September, and they're like, oh, my.
Cutter
God, it should be the week.
Rob
And then they're like, oh, my God, we're gonna be able to get, like, Christmas drinks at Starbucks. It's like, shut up. I don't want to hear it.
Cutter
Yeah. I wrote air fresheners. I think everyone agrees with that.
Rob
That air fresheners in cars.
Cutter
You mean anywhere?
Rob
It's the ones anywhere.
Cutter
Hate them.
Rob
Yeah. You're not a black Ice fan.
Cutter
No. No.
Rob
Yeah. Okay.
Cutter
But, like, everyone got one of those when they first got their car. It's like, cool.
Rob
Yeah. The move is, if you do get one of those, you don't hang it from your thing. You put it in, like, the side of the. Of a door. So, like, someone's like, does it smell in here. But once you see it, I think it makes even more angry, you know, you're like, oh, you white trash.
Cutter
Yeah. I wrote the way Jamie eats trail mix.
Rob
Oh, good. How does she eat trail mix?
Cutter
She, like. It's like she's, like, digging for, like. Like she eats, like, two things out of. Yeah, it's like. But it.
Jamie
I just like the way the saltiness because of the nuts, but I don't eat the nuts.
Cutter
And she kind of, like, goes like this. Like, she looks and she's like.
Jamie
Like a little. Like a little.
Rob
Like a squirrel.
Jamie
A little squirrel.
Rob
Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
Jamie
Foraging.
Cutter
That's enough for now. I have more.
Rob
That's good. Yeah. You know what I think? I think every time you have, like, 10 new things, you should come on the pot. Yeah. I think every time you hit the mark of 10, 10 new things on the rattle list, you hop in. Yeah. And by the way, we're almost at episode 100, and we haven't missed one fucking pod where. Where it's me and you yet. It's pretty good. Yeah, I think that's pretty. That's pretty solid of us. 100 in. I think it's pretty good. Yeah. No, stay here. Where are you going? Oh, wow, that's. Wow. See, you picked up on that. Yeah, I missed that.
Jamie
He knows we speak the same language.
Rob
Yeah, that. That was bedroom vibes. Yeah. Okay, that's. Yeah. Huh? That's enough, sweetie. Yeah. All right, well, we will see you guys next week.
Jamie
I want to see the picture of Rob one more time.
Rob
Here's a picture of Rob to play us out today.
Cutter
Kapoom, one time.
Rob
Manhattan.
Podcast Title: Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Hosts: Jamie-Lynn Sigler & Robert Iler
Release Date: May 29, 2025
Duration: Approximately 41 minutes
Episode Title: Jamie's On Testosterone
In this episode of Not Today, Pal, former siblings from The Sopranos, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler, delve into a variety of personal and humorous topics, highlighting their contrasting personalities and enduring friendship. The episode, titled "Jamie's On Testosterone," primarily revolves around Jamie's new venture into testosterone therapy and the ensuing dynamics it creates between her and Rob.
The episode kicks off with Rob teasing Jamie about her decision to start testosterone:
Jamie shares her motivations and experiences:
Jamie explains her reasons for taking testosterone, emphasizing health benefits and increased energy levels despite some side effects like acne:
Rob questions the rationale behind her decision:
The discussion shifts to the physical changes Jamie anticipates:
Jamie (02:19): "She was like, look out if your voice gets deeper...can you." (02:19)
Jamie (02:51): "There's a thing that happens to women where your clitoris grows so big it looks like a mini penis." (02:51)
Rob reacts humorously to the topic:
Jamie continues to elaborate on the side effects and their implications on her personal life:
Rob speculates on how testosterone might affect Jamie's relationship with her son:
Jamie shares insights into how physical changes can influence relationships:
A humorous exchange unfolds about Rob's inability to sleep comfortably:
Rob (04:03): "I don't sleep cuddly from day one." (04:08)
Jamie (04:11): "You don't?" (04:11)
They discuss strategies Rob employs to manage his temperature issues during sleep:
Jamie suggests technology-based solutions:
Rob expresses his lack of knowledge about gynecologist appointments and seeks Jamie's expertise:
Jamie provides a detailed walkthrough of her gynecologist visits, demystifying the process:
She describes the various examinations involved:
Rob reacts to the information with surprise and curiosity:
Jamie continues to elaborate on the procedures, including pap smears and the discomfort involved:
Jamie and Rob reminisce about their school days, focusing on gender disparities in disciplinary actions:
Jamie shares her observations:
Rob discusses the emergence of "skater girls" and other rebellious female archetypes in junior high:
Jamie adds her experiences, highlighting how these dynamics affected their social interactions:
Cutter, a recurring character in the podcast, contributes to the conversation by sharing anecdotes and interacting humorously with Rob and Jamie:
Rob and Jamie appreciate Cutter's input, often bringing levity to the discussions:
The hosts discuss meaningful gift exchanges, emphasizing thoughtfulness over monetary value:
Rob praises Jamie's effort in selecting the perfect gift:
Rob opens up about his struggles with substances in the past, blending humor with vulnerability:
Jamie and Cutter respond with playful teasing, maintaining a light-hearted atmosphere:
The trio shares their pet peeves and humorous observations about everyday situations:
Cutter (38:12): "People bringing their own water bottles to airports. Rattles me." (38:12)
Rob (39:16): "I don't mind so much that it... I don't want to hear it." (39:16)
In "Jamie's On Testosterone," Jamie and Rob navigate through personal health decisions, relationship dynamics, and nostalgic school memories with their signature humor and honesty. Their interactions with Cutter add an extra layer of camaraderie and light-heartedness, making the episode both insightful and entertaining. Listeners gain a deeper understanding of Jamie's journey with testosterone therapy, the challenges and changes it brings, and the unwavering support between the hosts.
Rob (01:08): "It's called not a damn chance. Not today."
Jamie (02:51): "There's a thing that happens to women where your clitoris grows so big it looks like a mini penis."
Rob (16:03): "I think 90% of people who get sent to the principal's office are boys. Why do you think that is?"
Jamie (35:00): "I call a friend that really likes watches...and that's how it happened."
Rob (39:16): "I don't mind so much that it... I don't want to hear it."
Disclaimer: This summary is based on a transcript provided and aims to encapsulate the key discussions and moments from the episode. For the full experience and additional context, listeners are encouraged to tune into the episode directly.