No More Mr. Lice Guy! | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Episode Summary: "No More Mr. Lice Guy!" | Not Today, Pal

Podcast Title: Not Today, Pal
Hosts: Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Episode: No More Mr. Lice Guy!
Release Date: October 31, 2024

Introduction

In this lively episode of Not Today, Pal, hosts Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler delve into a variety of humorous and relatable topics, showcasing their contrasting personalities and enduring friendship. From navigating relationship dynamics to dealing with unexpected family challenges, the duo offers listeners a blend of comedy and heartfelt insights.

Relationship Dynamics: Touring and Togetherness

The episode opens with a candid discussion about the challenges of maintaining relationships when one partner is frequently away. Rob humorously probes Jamie about how she handles his two-week tours, quipping, “If you knew Cutter was going away for two weeks or that, like, what do you do the night before?” (00:41). Jamie candidly admits her intentions to make these moments special but humorously confesses, “I would make it special, but in reality, no... I just wouldn't” (01:16). This exchange highlights their playful teasing and the ease with which they navigate sensitive topics.

Notable Quotes:

• Rob: “I rarely see you do that... she’s not going.” (01:36)
• Jamie: “I froze it. And when I defrosted it... it just had broken up.” (02:49)

ASMR and Fart Humor: Exploring Sensory Comedy

Transitioning from relationships, the hosts engage in a hilarious segment on ASMR, where Rob expresses his desire to incorporate it into the podcast. Jamie's resistance leads to a playful back-and-forth about the absurdity of using flatulence for ASMR, resulting in laughter and witty banter. Jamie jokes, “These sound like homegrown farts. ‘Cause they're not good” (07:05), while Rob continues to push the boundaries with his antics.

Notable Quotes:

• Jamie: “I don't want to be rude to somebody on air.” (06:23)
• Rob: “Jamie, I think you'll like, sit back and relax while you listen to the sound of my farts...” (06:52)
• Jamie: “These sound authentic. These sound like homegrown farts.” (07:05)

Memory Lane: Reflections on The Sopranos

The hosts take a nostalgic turn as they reminisce about their time on The Sopranos. They share behind-the-scenes anecdotes, including wardrobe choices and on-set experiences. Jamie humorously critiques his own appearance from the show, while Rob fondly remembers the camaraderie among cast members.

Notable Quotes:

• Jamie: “That's full Robbie. Drinking, partying. Yeah, I don't like my hair.” (11:17)
• Rob: “Jamie Lynn Sigler with Jamie Lee. Yeah. They gotta play.” (36:21)

The Big Lice Incident: Navigating Family Challenges

A significant portion of the episode centers around Jamie’s harrowing experience with a lice infestation affecting her children. She narrates the ordeal with both frustration and humor, detailing how the infestation was discovered and the subsequent treatment process. Rob empathizes and offers comedic relief as they discuss the impact on their family dynamics.

Notable Quotes:

• Jamie: “Jack's been itching his head for a long ass time... we get lice here.” (25:15)
• Rob: “Wow, Yamilee has life.” (26:25)
• Jamie: “The rudeness from other people and the judgment... It's our lice.” (27:07)
• Rob: “There's another kid, like, he got sick, man.” (28:35)

Poker Talk: Dealing with the Challenging Player Tony G

Shifting gears, Jamie and Rob discuss the notorious poker player Tony G, known for his abrasive table behavior. They debate the professionalism of his tactics and share strategies on how to handle such disruptive players. The conversation highlights their competitive spirits and sharp wit.

Notable Quotes:

• Rob: “This guy known as Tony G in the poker world, he does this to everybody.” (34:22)
• Jamie: “You look like an egg.” (36:38)
• Rob: “Feel the power. Feel the power.” (36:52)

Closing Remarks

As the episode draws to a close, Jamie and Rob continue their trademark humor, playfully mocking each other's antics and the chaotic events discussed. Their seamless blend of comedy and personal anecdotes leaves listeners entertained and connected to their authentic friendship.

Notable Quotes:

• Jamie: “I'm so glad that we can enjoy it together.” (08:05)
• Rob: “He might have met his match. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony G of the poker world.” (36:35)
• Jamie: “Not today. Hey, not today.” (37:27)

Conclusion

"No More Mr. Lice Guy!" encapsulates the essence of Not Today, Pal: a harmonious mix of humor, personal stories, and the unique chemistry between Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler. Whether tackling everyday challenges or engaging in lighthearted banter, the hosts provide listeners with an entertaining and relatable experience.

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Note: Timestamps correspond to moments in the transcript where notable quotes and discussions occur, ensuring accurate attribution and context.

Transcript

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[B]

What I wanted to ask you is a lot of comedians that have been in here, they talk about going on the road and stuff, and they basically talk about how they have to leave their wives or whatever for two weeks or three weeks. So if you. If you knew Cutter was going away for two weeks or that, like, what do you do the night before? Do you do something special for Cutter?

[A]

Well, for. We're for sure.

[B]

Have sex, but it's just a regular. Or are you, like, you know, I want him to remember when he's out there.

[A]

I mean, I don't. That's not a worry anymore.

[B]

No, not. Not. Not a. Not.

[A]

Not a worry.

[B]

But something nice to do. Not. Not. That doesn't have to be Come from fear. It could just come from like, oh, I love you and you're leaving. I'd like to do something nice.

[A]

I want to say that I would make it special, but in reality, no, it would. No, because I think when you. When you're with somebody for so, so long.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because I. I rarely.

[A]

I really want to say that I would have, like, turned it out, and I just know I wouldn't.

[B]

I rarely see you do that, which is like, I see you always want to be like, no, I would do something nice, but. But to actually go, like, you know, I know because you do that a lot with, like, saying you'll go to stuff. Like, you're like, yeah, that's. That sounds great. And I'm like, she's. I tell people, like, she's not going. Like, she will not. I remember, like, we did our other podcast with Cassim, and he's like, yeah, my brother's getting married in Palm beach or Palm Springs. And you were like, yeah, I was.

[A]

Like, I go, cass, I would have gone to that.

[B]

Jamie, come on, dude.

[A]

I don't think I was invited.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. No, listen, I just.

[A]

Then I blame Cutter. I would. I would never miss a wedding.

[B]

I've told people many a time, I just go, she's not that.

[A]

Yeah. When it would come to, like, going out and stuff. For sure.

[B]

You're just a nut.

[A]

I mean it when I say it.

[B]

Oh, of course. And you, like. That's the thing. It's always the intention. That's why I thought you would say now. Like, I would do something that. But then at 9pm you'd be like, oh, yeah, he's leaving tomorrow. Like, yeah, just come fuck me.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. It would not. I probably would have made a nice dinner. You know, I. I used to be so Cutter and I used to be long distance all the time. And so I used to like. I remember I got him an ipod. Is that what they were called? Yeah, for music. Ipods, Right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I'm right.

[B]

Ipod Nano.

[A]

Are you making fun of me or. That's what they were really calling. That's what they were calling ipod Nano.

[B]

Cause it's iPad iPod. Yeah.

[A]

And I would put, like, our songs on it or songs that I knew he liked or songs that we both like listening to. And I would, like, leave it on his pillow with a note. I used to do really nice things when we first started dating for long distance. I actually have an entire book of cards that Cutter and I would give each other before we would leave each other every time.

[B]

And speaking of making a nice dinner crock pot update. You made maybe the best all time that we had.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

That Sunday dinner was during football was fucking. Maybe for the first time in. I can't even think, like, years. I woke up the next day full.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. There was no leftovers.

[B]

Oh, I. Yeah. You were like, you want to take this home? I was like, it's liquid. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, I put three pounds of beef in here.

[A]

I froze it. And when I defrosted it and had some recently, there was a ton of meat in there. No, it just had broken up.

[B]

Yeah. So it has to be very. But like, nep. That was so I made a stew. Yamilee made a stew for us for football Sunday. It was awesome. I mean, it was. But, yeah, I woke up the next day and I was like, I'm full. Like, Like, I went to the gym that day. My belly was like, in the way. I was like, damn, that was a lot of. We really put it back.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know, just one of those good meals. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Cut. So weekly. Cutter's weekly Instagram. He has been demanding that I show this one. This is his favorite all time. I don't know if you know about this guy who he but he sings this. He sends me voice notes of him singing this non stop.

[A]

Cutter sends you voice notes of him?

[B]

Yeah. So it says up top, the mosquito that just bit me getting hit simultaneously with 50 milligrams of nicotine, Iritalin and 500 milligrams of caffeine.

[A]

That's what's flowing through his blood.

[B]

Yeah. Say it one more time. Look at this guy's face. Jamie. Jamie Cutter. Cutter sends me this all the time. And then he sings. He'll sing a voice note because the words in it go amused. Or he goes, it's useless. But he's like, I'm useless. And he says these voice notes. I'm just laughing.

[A]

Other side of my husband. Don't get.

[B]

He'll send me, like, him pitching from the little league field and be like. And he's like. He's like, I got four zins in right now, like, pitching to a bunch of six year olds.

[A]

He is his dad more than I think.

[B]

And he's like, ask me. He's like, what's going on in the game? Because I'm at home watching the game. Oh, my God. We laugh.

[A]

What an idiot.

[B]

So fucking much so. I know, I know you don't necessarily like asmr, but like I said, I want to find.

[A]

Don't like it.

[B]

Right. But I want to find. My goal is to find a. Because there's so much different ASMR out there. There's got to be something you like. And what I really want to do is get an ASMR person in here with those ears and try all the different stuff here. And. Zolo, can you work on that, please? We'd like to get an ASMR artist.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In here to try all the different stuff because they have so many different things. They have, like.

[A]

Don't ruin it. You got me a monkey. Don't ruin it by making me.

[B]

But it can't all be. You know what I mean? It can all be dreams. And sometimes we.

[A]

I don't want to be rude to somebody on air.

[B]

That's all I want.

[A]

This is why you're doing.

[B]

For you to be rude to somebody. I want you to kick her out.

[A]

Well, it might happen.

[B]

So can you show the as this week's asmr. Jamie, I think you'll, like, sit back and relax while you listen to the sound of my farts. Let the sound of my farts send.

[A]

Tingles throughout your whole body.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

Did you like the sound of that one?

[B]

I did. Did it make you feel warm?

[A]

Tell me how many views are on that for you?

[B]

Here's another one for you. You listen to this. Thank you.

[A]

These sound authentic. These sound like homegrown farts. Cuz they're not good.

[B]

These are lady farts. Oh, wow. That was very.

[A]

See, that one sounded. Don't my farts make you so happy?

[B]

They do.

[A]

I know they make me happy.

[B]

I actually love the smell of my farts. I bet I would too.

[A]

I play video games on my laptop.

[B]

Don't like that for hours.

[A]

And I love smelling. Speaking to her demographic.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[A]

Actually waft my own farts up to my face. Oh wow. So I can smell them better. She went too far. She's gone too far.

[B]

I didn't notice it because I have another fart coming. How long you got? Like 30 more seconds. She was trying to talk to us and was like, I have to stop talking because I have another fork. It's really coming out. I didn't know that this was. I only listened to the first like 20 seconds of this. I'm gonna waft the smell right into your face.

[A]

You like it, don't you?

[B]

I know, I love it too. I was more into it in the beginning. So much fun smelling my farts.

[A]

I'm so glad that we can enjoy it together. You can really make money doing anything, can't you?

[B]

Oh my God. I don't know about this one. How many views it has. There's ones that have 15 million views. And it's just somebody being a group.

[A]

Of people, like getting off on that.

[B]

There's the whole gamut. There's people who like. It just calms them down. There's people who. Whatever. But then there's people like. I'm sure the farting, like. Yeah, of course there's people who imagine.

[A]

Like somebody's like ready before, like a big presentation, right? Or like their big TED Talk and you see them have like football player, like walking to the game. You're like, man, I wonder what kind of jams they're listening to. And mind you, it's like this chick being like, don't you love the smell? My farts?

[B]

Yeah, that's all I wanted. I wanted to get you saying that so that we could have it for the future. Let's see, what do we got?

[A]

I had a feeling that's what you were fishing for, farting thing.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

Yeah. My farts don't stink.

[B]

Oh, you're not like this girl. This girl was saying her farts are really stinking. That we'd like it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. What? Let me see.

[A]

Keep me loose.

[B]

That's. That's in.

[A]

And that makes me fart, like, as I walk.

[B]

Jamie, if we slow that down a little and you make it a little more sensual, you put it on YouTube and we get hundreds of thousands of views.

[A]

You know what? I'm.

[B]

Our podcast needs it.

[A]

I'm tired lately. I just want to sit in my bed with a baby microphone and talk bullshit and make some money.

[B]

Yeah. What's better if you're tired? What's better than just being like, oh, yeah, I got a fart.

[A]

Oh, man. I don't know.

[B]

Oh, man. Jamie's rattled from the farting. ASMR. All right, what do you. Where do you want to go? Should we go to. I think. I think it would be good if we get somebody. If we get somebody in here to show us different.

[A]

I don't know if good is the word, but, you know, she won't fart.

[B]

No farting. Just showing us, like, different things with the ears. I think it would be. I think it would be good for us.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think we'll find.

[A]

Trust you.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, well, maybe you shouldn't, because I don't think you're gonna. I think it's gonna be good for me. I think I'm gonna enjoy it. Okay. I think you would walk out before you would tell her to leave. You would never be like, you have to go.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know. It.

[B]

It.

[A]

It flips a switch in me where I'm, like, really turned off. Like, I'm really, really turned off.

[B]

Yeah. What does it feel? What is the feeling that it comes with? Like, for me, it's relaxing. For you, it's rage.

[A]

Violating. Yeah. I feel like violence, but violated.

[B]

All right. Do we have a. Do we have a memory lane for the two of us?

[A]

Yeah. This one.

[B]

I know where that is.

[A]

Robbie, you look so good. Where is this?

[B]

I hate the way I look there. That's full Soprano guy. I would never dress like that. That's on set. That's why you could see the background. That's Silver Cup. So you could see the bricks in the back.

[A]

Yeah. Is this it? A read through? I'm going to say that's definitely my wardrobe.

[B]

Yeah, that could be read through. Oh, you think so? Because I was gonna say it could be read through, and I was working and you weren't, so I'm gonna say this is 2006, and it's gonna be Silver Cup Studios in Queens, New York.

[A]

Nailed it. Wow.

[B]

That's how it feels, huh, James, to get a good. A good memory lane under your belt.

[A]

Yeah. I'm happy for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't even try.

[B]

I can't believe you think I look good like that. I hate. They shaved my beard like that. Like, I was. I was, like, wanting to be Puerto Rican.

[A]

Your face looks, like, just healthy.

[B]

Well, I'm probably wearing makeup. Oh, you know, they probably have makeup on me. Yeah. Because that was full Robbie. Drinking, partying. Yeah. I don't like my hair. Like, I don't like the whole thing, but it looks like you.

[A]

I'm not working, so I'm not working. Yeah, right. Wow, look at us.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's so much life.

[B]

All right, so here's. Here's a big debate that we have to settle, which is I was on vacation with my family, and they have restrooms at the beach. Not the beach restroom, but up on the boardwalk where, like, every. It was basically Jersey Shore, like, that boardwalk. And then they have a bathroom up there. Drunk guy walking by. He. We're waiting for one of my family members in the bathroom. That guy walks in barefoot, right into the men's bathroom. And me and my brother. Only one of my brothers share that. Yeah. Fully drunk. Me. Only one of my brothers and me share the, like, ocd. Like, and me and him look at each other and are like, that is what you'd have to pay me. To walk into a public beach restroom with no shoes on is very high. But I was like, what My question to him was, and then the rest of the family is, what do you think is worse if I had to go take a shit in that public bathroom with my sneakers on and just go take a shit? Or you gotta go walk in there.

[A]

No shoes, but you can wash your feet after.

[B]

Well, no one could stop you from washing your feet. Where are you gonna wash your feet on the boardwalk?

[A]

Do you think that you're gonna get sick by having that just on your feet?

[B]

No. A lot of my OCD has nothing to do with getting sick. It's the disgust. It's knowing how gross other people are and then, like, being in their filth.

[A]

I would rather walk in than have to poop in there.

[B]

You'd rather walk in barefoot into a piss. Because here's the problem, right? I just realized the problem. Men's bathroom, very different than women's bathroom.

[A]

Women aren't peeing on the floor.

[B]

Men's bathroom.

[A]

Although there might be some drunk girls.

[B]

That are covered in piss in a men's bathroom in public.

[A]

What do you mean you're just pissing everywhere?

[B]

Zolo boys. Can we get a confirmation on that, Chad? Everywhere? Yeah, everywhere.

[A]

But at the beach, though, you never.

[B]

Know if it's piss or beach water, what really is going on.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'm just assuming it's. It's piss. But I. I think I'd rather have to go in and poop because just. I know the bear. It's basically like, would you rather walk in someone's piss or go poop at a public rest?

[A]

Yeah, but you got to set up the whole seat.

[B]

Or I could just hover and.

[A]

You can hover and poop?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you guys hover and poop?

[B]

If we have to or if I have. Yeah.

[A]

I don't think I've done it. But that takes such quad strength. Yeah.

[B]

Barley. Barley. Can you hover and poop? I don't think I can hover and poop. Really? Maybe it's a guy. Maybe it's a guy.

[A]

Enjoyable.

[B]

I know it's hard to do that more because girls have to sit down for everything.

[A]

Aren't you guys always like hovering over a toilet? That's what I thought too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But to poop you have to like, brace yourself.

[B]

Well, here's. Here's the deal. If I'm pooping in public, it's because it's about to come out of my body. So I'm going to hover and it's just going to come out where? Like if. If I was home and like, just like taking a shit, whatever, like, it'd be different. But if I'm at a boardwalk taking a shit, you best believe it's. I'm. As soon as I put my pants down, that shit is coming out, hovering or not.

[A]

Wow. I feel bad for people listening this right now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The ASMR or the poop is. What do you think? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Too much poopoo.

[A]

Poo. Poo.

[B]

Okay, then. You know. You know what I would like to do one day? I'd like you. I'm sure you've heard me talk about Mando Whole Body Deodorant. At this point you can use it on your whole body. Yes. Your whole body. It's dermatologist tested and gentle on all your bits. Mando was created by a doctor who saw firsthand how normal BO was being misdiagnosed and mistreated. It controls odor for 72 hours. Clinically proven. You can choose from four cologne, like quality scents like bourbon, leather, clover, wood, Mount Fuji and Pro Sport or unscented if you want to get stealthy. Guys, I'm wearing Mount Fuji right now. Let me tell you something. This unlike my other deodorant that doesn't have the bad stuff in it, this lasts longer. I think I'd say I've done a little over 24 hours. Still smells good. Mando starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant. Two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wash wipes and free shipping. Luckily, I have a discount code to help you get hooked on my favorite smelling whole body deodorant on the market. New customers get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack use code not today at shopmando.com, s H O P M A N D O C O M ABC Wednesday, Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears. Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.

[A]

What the rest of my life looks like.

[B]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations. The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each.

[A]

Other like rational adults?

[B]

If you watch the news lately, that's not a thing anymore. Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. You to prepare an app.

[A]

I rob, I will go, no, I'm not doing that.

[B]

I'm not doing that.

[A]

Like, I know, I know it's not.

[B]

I'm doing it like, I think it would be fun. Like, I'd do it gladly.

[A]

I will.

[B]

But I just then would not have the balls to bother you on a when you're dealing with your kids and this and all this stuff being like, hey, remember, prepare that pod.

[A]

No, I will accept this challenge.

[B]

I just think it'd be fun. Cause I would love to just like.

[A]

I think you'd be great.

[B]

I think you are great at it. You've done you prepare your pod and it's fantastic.

[A]

Thank you. But I'll write. Start writing down some random thoughts. Yeah, I actually sent Zolo a little text today. Cause I've been, you know, figuring out what I want to be for Halloween and came across this little Halloween costume. Have you seen this, Rob?

[B]

Somebody sent that to me. Yeah, I forget who.

[A]

It's an AJ Soprano. Why don't you read it? It's an AJ Soprano costume.

[B]

Disappointment to the family. I can't see that top one. Not what?

[A]

Not married.

[B]

Messy personal life. Not married. What's the next one? I can't see.

[A]

Choices your mom won't approve of.

[B]

Choices your mom won't approve of. And cool wardrobe, though. Yeah, it was cool wearing, like, marijuana leafs all the time. That was putting the backwards hat. It really is. It's like a. It's like a M M vibe mixed.

[A]

With the very Eminem vibe, you know? Yeah.

[B]

If we're gonna go Sopranos. We haven't done Sopranos. What's that thing we used to. Who knows less about? We haven't done that in a long time. Should we throw one?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You got one for a solo? Yeah. When applying for college, what were ages reach schools?

[A]

I don't know that at all.

[B]

I'm just thinking, what, what, what were your reach schools? What can I. Rutgers. I, I, that's all I could think of is, like, a school in Jersey.

[A]

What were the ones, like, you said you were applying to, like, that you wanted to get into.

[B]

That's what probably wouldn't.

[A]

Oh, Rutgers.

[B]

Rutgers. I. I don't know.

[A]

Not nyu. He was probably thinking to leave. You see?

[B]

See, I was thinking, like, jerry, what's around Jersey?

[A]

Yeah. Miami. Nope.

[B]

Xavier. No. What? No, what is it?

[A]

Michigan. Notre Dame, University of Arizona, and Arizona State University. Oh, you wanted a party. Duh. Yeah.

[B]

I've never heard those words in my life. I would have said if you were like, yeah, Arizona. Did anybody. Did AJ ever say anything about that? I'd be like, I know.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So something that we wanted to do, which was we talked about doing something called is it weird right? Where it's like, oh, people tell us, hey, is it weird? And they tell us something, and they're. But it turned out the guys from Are you garbage? Who have that great podcast, and I was on there, they're incredible at what they do. They have something very similar, which is, are you garbage? Which is it garbage? Is it weird? It was very close. So we're like, all right, we'll go a different direction. So for years, what I've been asking for is, I want people's neurotic behavior. That's what I'm looking for. I want neurot. But the problem is when we ask people for neurotic behavior, no one sends us anything. And then we say, hey, tell us weird behavior. We get 500 replies instantly. Because people, I don't know if they'd.

[A]

Rather Be call weird.

[B]

Yeah. They're like, oh, cool. But then erotic. And again. Because they could say, whatever. So what I asked the boys to do is specifically go through. Because, you know, 500 people send stuff in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To find. Try and find neurotic behavior. And if we don't think it's neurotic, we'll. We'll skip it and we'll cut it out of the episode. Whatever. But if it's so. It would be.

[A]

So should I replace weird with neurotic?

[B]

What I thought it would be is kind of like, what if it's called what's wrong with me?

[A]

What's wrong with my boss? That he will purposely rub his fingers after eating over his top lip. So when he smells his top lip, it smells good. That's gross.

[B]

That's psychotic.

[A]

That. Yeah, that's like serial killer. Serial killer behavior. He will, like, eat a chicken wing and then spread the barbecue sauce on the lip so he can continue to smell.

[B]

See? So here's what I would do. Because that is just garbage. No, no, here's what I'll do.

[A]

Because a bad one.

[B]

No, no, it's just because. Not. I'm saying that is like, are you garbage? You know what I mean? And we don't want to steal from those guys. So what we'll do is we'll put this back. I'll go through these and find ones that I think are just, like, specifically neurotic. And. And because I don't want to bite from are you garbage Podcast. They're the best. They're so. They're so funny and good at what they do. We don't wanna. So let's see. We'll do. We'll do something else. Okay, here's a question I have for you. Is saying, can you do me a favor? Polite? Like, is that. Is that a. Is that a. What I mean is, is it a substitute for like, please? Like, if you say, hey, can you do me a favor? Can you hand me that thing? Or are you just making a statement of like, can you do me a favor? Or is that.

[A]

Then I don't think you're ever expecting the person to say no when you say, can you do me a favor? I think that you're kind of leaning.

[B]

On them a little.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're. You're expect. You're saying something with the expectation that they'll do it.

[B]

So it might be the opposite of polite. It's kind of rude.

[A]

Right. You're basically backing them into a corner.

[B]

You're kind of turning the Screws on somebody. Be like, hey, can you do me a favor? Because then if you say no to can you do me a favor? You're an asshole. Or if someone just says, hey, grab this thing, it's like, you grab it. Or like when your kid said, get the cholula.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If he said, mom, can you do me a favor? Can you get the cholula? Then you're like, I gotta go grab it. But when he says, hey, get me the cholula? You're like, you could do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. See, I didn't think of it that way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So the argument we're actually saying saying, can you do me a favor? Is rude. I like. I like.

[A]

We've got. That's where we've come around to.

[B]

I really like this take on can you do me a favor?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, have you ever said, can you do me a favor without the expectation of the person doing it? And also, you're saying something that's probably not that big of an ask. I. If I. If it's a big ask, I'm not doing that. Can you do me a favor? I'm giving, like, a much longer, much more emotional introduction to what I'm asking.

[B]

My kids have lice and I'm drinking milk, and by the way, you want to grab bread on the way. Exactly. Can you grab me a sourdough?

[A]

Huge favor.

[B]

So wait, we didn't get to talk about the lice fully, so.

[A]

Yeah, let's talk about the lice.

[B]

Let's explain. Okay, can we go back to the do me a favor thing? What's the last favor somebody asked you that you said no to? When someone's a cake, or if they say, can you do me for whatever. Not your kid saying the cholula. Something else where somebody was like, asked you to do something and you're like, you know what? Actually, I can't never. You've never said no to asking someone to do something for you?

[A]

No. Because I feel like so many people don't ask me to do anything because I have ms, that when they do ask me, I'm like, yes, thank you. I'm a normal person. Let me do this for you. Yeah.

[B]

Next Sunday is going to be tough for you.

[A]

I like, people ask me, I'm going.

[B]

To be asking for everything.

[A]

Anything you want.

[B]

As soon as you get comfortable on the couch and put the kids to bed, I'm like, jamie, I would love some fruit snacks.

[A]

You know where they are, Rob. I bought them for you.

[B]

But I'd say, Do me a favor. Can you go?

[A]

Yeah, no, I won't do that.

[B]

Yeah, so there you go. I'll give you your opportunity. Yeah. So, okay, how does. What's the first sniff of lice?

[A]

Jack's been itching his head for a long ass time.

[B]

How long?

[A]

Weeks, Months.

[B]

Geez.

[A]

I don't know what lice looks like. I don't know how to look for lice, but I would, like, peek in his scalp every once in a while and feel like I don't see anything. And then, you know, you would hear, like, rumblings of it. There was obviously nothing. Over the summer, I kept switching up his shampoo, thinking Miguel's head was dry. Whatever. We get an email from this woman in our neighborhood. Being like, my kid has lice. I'm having this woman come over to check and treat us. Two minutes later, she texted, I have it too. You guys should. And our kids all hang and play, so I would advise you guys to just get checked. So one of my good girlfriends, Kelsey, who lives near me, was like, our boys are all the same age. She's like, I'm gonna call that woman to come over later this afternoon. Should we just all get together and get checked together just to be precautionary? Like, we're being good humans. Makes like so we don't have the lice. Don't worry, it's not us. And the woman's coming over. I'm setting up my bathroom so she can set so she can come and check everybody. And Beau walks in and goes, norma, who's our nanny, just looked at Jack's head and he has lice. And I'm like, what? And immediately, like, I start feeling itchy. Like the second she says that, I'm like, itching the back of my neck. And we look at Beau and it's, like, kind of hard to see, but it looked like there was in his scalp.

[B]

The woman was like dandruff or something.

[A]

Kind of, but not really. Like, they're. They're. It's harder to see on blonde hair, so it was harder to see on Jax. But when we moved Jack's head, it, like, jumped off. Like we saw something come off.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

So the woman comes in, she puts the comb through Jack's hair one time, and like, she, like, catches it in a paper towel. Like it's a metal, really thin tooth comb. And she pushed him through, and she's like, oh, yeah, we've got lice here. She goes through Jack's head. It's everywhere. And I'M like, so how long do you think he's had this? She's like, oh, he's had lice for weeks.

[B]

So do you think I could have lice because I was at your place?

[A]

So it doesn't jump like that. You'd have to have, like, literally cuddled head to head with him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So then she goes to look at Beau and Beau and Jack. Obviously, Beau was in the hospital for a very long time. And then we've kept them separate in separate rooms just so they can get good night's sleep. So they haven't slept together in a very long time. That weekend, for one night, I let them have a sleepover. I guess during that time where they shared pillows and were near each other. She went through Bo's head, and he had one lice but a couple of eggs. So then I'm like, well, guess Beau was sick two nights ago. Guess who slept in bed with him. Me. She puts it through my head, and I have it, too.

[B]

Wow. Yamilee has life.

[A]

Then Cutter walks in and he's like, well, should you check me? I'm like, he has no hair. Like, what, idiot? But she says she's seen it before sometimes. So she, you know, she kind of looked around in his head. Cutter was fine.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

My friend came over. She didn't have it, but both her kids had, like, little, like, the beginnings of it.

[B]

Eggs.

[A]

Yes. So basically, you have to take a. And let me just say, like, the. The rudeness from other people and the judgment of, like, oh, you have lice was so real. I don't know how we got it. We're very clean people. Like, take the lice prejudice.

[B]

If there is a least clean person out of you, it's definitely Jack for sure.

[A]

And he's had it for weeks, man. Like, I had to take every one of his, like, sport helmets, everything. Like, you lint roll them because. So they can't live on a surface for longer than 48 hours. But they could live on your scalp. If you can go under water, they won't suffocate like they will if you don't treat them. They will stay in your head forever.

[B]

Forever. So what does it look like when they. When they scoop it out onto a paper towel?

[A]

It looks like, like, almost translucent little flies and then black eggs.

[B]

That's crazy that for two weeks you didn't know your kid, that this was dancing around your kid's head?

[A]

Well, he has a lot of fucking hair, right, you know?

[B]

Oh, I guess so. And it's underneath or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. So she takes a hair dryer and puts it on each section of your hair for. For, like, you know, six minutes straight to, like, burn them. And if Jack was, like, screaming, crying, because he is very sensitive to things and, like, hated it, then she covers your head in oil, and then each section of your hair, like, brushes it, every bit of it out. And then you leave the oil on for a couple hours, and then shampoo a couple of times. And now we've been using anti lice shampoo. I had to lint roll every surface, like, every couch, every pillow, wash everything high heat. It was gnarly.

[B]

So does. Because Jack is sensitive, but whatever. Do either of them get, like, weirded out when you're, like, you have an infestation of license? Yeah.

[A]

Jack acted tough. He went in his room after and cried because he thought, like, something was wrong with him. He was scared. Yeah, he was. He was really bummed out about it. And Bo, you know, he's, like, jolly Bo right now still. So he was like, can't believe this.

[B]

Right? That's a great bow.

[A]

We got lice, Mom. Can you believe it?

[B]

It's, like, sick, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You didn't get it, dad.

[A]

Oh, my God. This morning, I, like, Cutter was annoying the fuck out of me, and I, like, like, was definitely, like, whatever. And, like, I, like, walk back in the room, and Beau is sitting, eating breakfast, and he looks at me, goes, dad.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, he's, like, living in a sitcom.

[B]

Well, he came here a few weeks ago, and he made a huge impression on everybody. Everybody loved him. Everyone was like, this is the best kid ever.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And then I told him that at your house, and he was like, really? I was like, yeah, man. Everybody at the studio thought you were the best. He was like, that's awesome. You know what he says a lot. He goes, actually. Actually, yeah, yeah. Everybody thought you were the coolest guy.

[A]

And actually speaks in a different. He speaks with, like, a Texas accent now, which is different. I mean, I've talked to. I've talked to doctors about it because apparently this can be a little bit of, like, brain healing, where, like, they can develop different accents. It's a wild ride, guys. Let me tell you.

[B]

He's.

[A]

But he's like a dream kid, but he's also not my kid. It's very weird. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Speaking. Speaking of, like, lice and maybe gross stuff, how long do you think the longest is? You can wear a pair of socks.

[A]

I don't really wear socks, which is wild. Yeah, you don't I don't have sweaty feet. I don't like wearing socks. Like, I can't feel my feet when I wear socks. So I always like to.

[B]

We should get Chad in here to smell your sneakers and see if you have stinky feet. No, thank you.

[A]

Why do. What.

[B]

What do you mean? Dude, PG would. PG would kill for that.

[A]

Chad was like, why PG would kill.

[B]

Look, he almost fell off the desk right there. Yeah, PG would kill for that, bro. Come on.

[A]

No, I'm good.

[B]

I appreciate it, though. Thanks, Rob.

[A]

I would never ask.

[B]

Always thinking of my buddies. I'm not really a feet guy. Doesn't do it for me. Yeah.

[A]

What's your thing? Are you, like a lip guy? A butt guy? What's your thing? Boob guy? I fancy myself more of an ass man. You are. Yeah.

[B]

See, are all feet guys. Sneaker guys? Like, are all feet guys? Shoe guys? Does that come one the other, or can you be like, oh, I love. I love feet, but I don't want to smell your shoes? It's a good question.

[A]

Yeah, I guess we wouldn't know.

[B]

Does it come. Huh.

[A]

That.

[B]

Has you ever dated guys? Hey, I'll. I'll have them on next week. God damn it. Have you. Have you ever had guys who are, like, foot into your feet?

[A]

No.

[B]

Have you ever dated a guy who was into, like, a part of your body that you were like, well, that's different. Like, this guy loves my. Whatever.

[A]

No.

[B]

Damn, dude, you gotta get out.

[A]

Cutter's the weirdest man I've ever been with. For sure.

[B]

Yeah, but that's. That's like autism, not so much. Sexual proclivities. Yeah, exactly. All right, so you can't. So if you did. If your kids wear socks, how many.

[A]

Disgusting. So smelly after a day at school, right? Yeah, half day.

[B]

Because here's. Here's how I look at socks.

[A]

Is the worst fucking smelling feet.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

See, I think he comes home from.

[A]

School and takes his sneakers off, and it's fucking gross.

[B]

I think my belief is that that all comes from wearing sneakers without socks.

[A]

No, his socks are soaking wet from sweat. Sweat.

[B]

What is he doing?

[A]

He's the sweatiest Child.

[B]

That's crazy. See, I can wear the same sneakers for three years and they won't smell. If I wear sneakers for one day without socks, they smell forever. They're just dead.

[A]

Wow. I do remember back in the day putting, like, baby powder in my shoes when I wouldn't wear them with socks so that they wouldn't get stinky.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's People. I remember my mom had.

[A]

I remember I did too much once. I'm like. Was walking and there was like, white clouds, like, coming from my feet.

[B]

They're like, is that a ghost? She. 300 years old. My mom. I guess it was actually my mom's husband's friend at the time who would come and they would ask him to leave his sneakers outside because they smelled so bad.

[A]

Wow, that's fucking.

[B]

And he would leave and because we lived, like, in an apartment building, and he would leave him in the hallway in the apartment building. And then when you would go, like, I would get off the elevator and be like, oh, Rich is here. Because it's. It would hit you.

[A]

You were like, like, damn.

[B]

Yeah, that was a rip. Rip to that. That dude, he was a.

[A]

He was a real sweetheart.

[B]

Do we. Do we have a. Do we have a poker clip or a. Cuz I think I have. Yeah. There's a poker player who's a little rude. Jamie and I wanted to get your take on him and what you think of. Is it okay that he treats people like this at the table? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, baby.

[B]

Come on, Russian. Get out. It's time to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Look at this. Look how he's doing. Look how he's playing. Look how ugly this is. You're a professional player, and I can do this to you. You are a terrible player. This is disgraceful. I want. Bring the Russians on. Bring more Russians on. I'm here to get them all. You play that as bad as you can, your career is finished. You are gone, gone, gone. Feel the power. You feel my power, baby? Feel my power. Feels. He feels.

[A]

That's personal.

[B]

Yeah, he's over. Jamie. This guy known as Tony G in the poker world, he does this to everybody.

[A]

Oh, he does. So it's not just for Russians.

[B]

No, he.

[A]

Whatever your weakness is how he does it.

[B]

This is how. He.

[A]

Has anyone ever punched him in the face?

[B]

That's a good question. Not that we've seen. People have definitely had issues with him and problems and this, but his whole thing is like.

[A]

It's his shtick.

[B]

Well, people don't know. They're like, is he trying to get in your head or is he just a big.

[A]

But that guy was just eliminated. But he'll get in your head even if you're still playing like that.

[B]

Well, yeah, he'll keep going. But also, I don't know if he knew he was fully eliminated yet because he might have more chips. But yeah, he'll just. Because he. Because he keeps these relationships all the Time like the top poker players play with the top poker players.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So this is all ongoing, forever.

[A]

So annoying.

[B]

It's the, the con, the different opinions in the poker world on it are crazy.

[A]

What are the people who are like.

[B]

Hey, that's part of the game. And there's people who are like, this guy should never be allowed to play.

[A]

Yeah. It's unprofessional.

[B]

Yeah, it's, it's. And you know what's the worst part is, is like, as somebody who likes to gamble when you're losing, and then somebody's like, yeah, that's what I mean.

[A]

Somebody go after him.

[B]

It's. Yeah, it's pretty shocking that, that.

[A]

What would you do if you were playing against a guy like that and he did that with you and you just lost, like, big. After playing days, hours, whatever it is.

[B]

I could tell you the old me of 15 years ago would fucking be right in his face now. Yeah. I don't know what I would do. I would, I would be mad at myself if I let him win and, like, got me caught up in his shit. And again, like, if there's somebody who was, who was doing that to me, who doesn't do that. Like, if he just tried to go off on me, I think it wouldn't set me off. But if there's somebody who I know, like, their shtick is to set people off.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think I would try and be in my head of like, it's gonna anger me if I let him win and get me to where.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because then you. Because he's always looking like that, and you're the one who comes out looking like the fool. So I try and be like, you know, maybe you have, you have one line just ready to throw at him on your way out or when he leaves.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Just being like, whatever.

[A]

But I think one mic drop line.

[B]

Yeah. Or just, you know, one, you know. Yeah.

[A]

Hey, buddy, you're fat.

[B]

Oh, that's what you go with. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, too. Hey, buddy, you're fat. Yeah, that's solid. James, you really.

[A]

You look like an egg.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. You. He might have met his match. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony G of the poker world. I think just met his match. Jamie Lynn Sigler with Jamie Lee. Yeah. They gotta play. Heads up. Yami Lee against here.

[A]

I have a pair of sunglasses like.

[B]

Jamie Lee and Tony G. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you look like Humpty Dumpty.

[B]

Wow. He's going to be like, get this Cuban out of here. Yeah, he's extended back to Cube. Get her on a raft. Send her back. Yeah. Wow. Well, how can we top that? Guys? I think we'll wrap it here and we will see you next week.

[A]

Not today. Hey, not today.

[B]

Not today.