Pajama Pants Party w/ Kassem G | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Episode: Pajama Pants Party w/ Kassem G
Release Date: January 30, 2025
Host/Guests: Robert Iler (Robbie), Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Kassem G

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1. Welcome and Guest Introduction

In this episode of Not Today, Pal, hosts Robert Iler and Jamie-Lynn Sigler are joined by their longtime friend and guest, Kassem G. The trio delves into a variety of topics ranging from personal anecdotes to humorous takes on aging and friendship dynamics.

2. Reflecting on the "Pajama Pants" Era

The conversation kicks off with reflections on their earlier "Pajama Pants" podcast episodes.

• Robbie [00:48]: "I know with Jamie that's what usually happens, but I forgot when it's the three of us..."
• Jamie [00:57]: "You always started it."

They reminisce about the simplicity and camaraderie of their past podcasts, noting how much they've grown since then.

3. Aging and Botox Discussions

A significant portion of the episode centers around aging gracefully and the use of Botox.

• Jamie [02:08]: "I did it for the first time when I was 39, and I've done it, like, three times since."
• Robbie [02:38]: "But do you feel like you have an old neck?"

They discuss the societal pressures of maintaining a youthful appearance, with Jamie sharing her personal experiences with Botox and contemplating future cosmetic enhancements like a neck lift.

4. Wedding Stories and Celebrations

The trio shares heartwarming and hilarious stories from Robbie and Jamie's recent wedding, emphasizing the relaxed and joyous atmosphere.

• Jamie [07:00]: "You guys were so beautiful up there. I loved your vows in true cast form of just equal parts heart and humor and levity and truth."
• Kassem [07:30]: "I finally got to meet Annie Gazing."

They highlight the seamless blend of sincerity and humor in the wedding celebrations, with special mentions of guests and memorable moments.

5. Kassem's Health Concerns: The Rash

Kassem opens up about a persistent rash he's been dealing with, sparking a candid discussion about health and personal care.

• Kassem [17:03]: "Where's the rash?"
• Jamie [19:00]: "Anything with a scent is an endocrine disruptor."

The conversation explores potential causes, ranging from detergent sensitivities to stress, with Jamie and Robbie offering humorous yet supportive remarks. They also touch upon broader health topics like prostate health and the importance of medical check-ups.

6. UFOs, Psychics, and Remote Viewing

Shifting gears, the group dives into a lively discussion about UFOs and the fascinating concept of remote viewing.

• Kassem [27:02]: "There's a new whistleblower that's come out..."
• Jamie [29:21]: "A psychic can spy on other countries."

Kassem introduces the audience to Joe McMonagle, a renowned remote viewer, and they debate the plausibility and implications of government-employed psychics in UFO retrieval operations.

7. Understanding Autism and Communication

The hosts and Kassem discuss the unique communication methods of non-verbal autistic individuals, highlighting both skepticism and admiration.

• Robbie [31:09]: "It's non-verbal, but they all supposedly communicate."
• Jamie [34:03]: "They make me think you like to help them."

They explore shows and podcasts that feature autistic individuals demonstrating extraordinary communication skills, debating authenticity and the portrayal of autism in media.

8. Tales from the Set of Titanic

Robbie shares an intriguing and bizarre story about the set of Titanic, where catering was allegedly spiked with PCP, leading to chaos among the cast and crew.

• Robbie [35:55]: "Somebody spiked the catering with PCP."
• Jamie [36:43]: "Imagine on the set of Sopranos one time, like all of a sudden everyone started tripping balls."

The story underscores the unpredictable nature of film sets and the lengths individuals might go to disrupt productions.

9. Geoguessr and Interactive Games

The discussion transitions to the popular game Geoguessr, where players guess locations based on Street View images.

• Kassem [52:07]: "You can go to geoguessr.com and play the game yourself."
• Jamie [53:26]: "I am a loyal friend."

They talk about the skills required for the game, sharing anecdotes of impressive geoguessr feats and encouraging listeners to engage with the game to sharpen their geographic intuition.

10. Emphasizing Friendship and Individual Strengths

As the episode winds down, Robbie, Jamie, and Kassem reflect on their enduring friendship and the importance of recognizing each other's strengths.

• Jamie [56:17]: "I think I'm really good at seeing the good in people."
• Robbie [56:48]: "You are a loyal friend."

They conclude by acknowledging the unique qualities each person brings to the friendship, reinforcing the show's theme of celebrating differences and finding common ground.

Notable Quotes

• Jamie [02:03]: "Honestly, it usually comes around like a PMS period, where I'm just looking at myself like, I look old."
• Robbie [07:00]: "You've been under the knife several times, but now you look fantastic."
• Kassem [23:05]: "I think my stream has been really weak for the life."
• Robbie [35:48]: "You don't have to be great at everything. That's what I've learned in this life."
• Jamie [56:17]: "I have an urge always to point out the good in people."

Conclusion

This episode of Not Today, Pal offers a blend of humor, heartfelt stories, and candid conversations about personal growth, health, and the mysteries of the universe. Through their engaging dialogue, Robbie, Jamie, and Kassem provide listeners with an intimate look into their lives, strengthening the bond that makes their friendship so unique and entertaining.

Transcript

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[Robbie]

You both just look at me. I guess this is.

[Jamie]

You're the ring leader.

[Robbie]

I know with Jamie that's what usually happens, but I forgot when it's the three of us, I feel like back then, I feel like it was just someone says something.

[Kassem]

You always started it.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Robbie]

You think. How many episodes did we do of pajama pants, by the way? Kasmg, everybody.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Robbie]

I'm horrible at this.

[Kassem]

Also coming.

[Robbie]

Oh, probably. Oh, yeah.

[Kassem]

You're having back to Los Angeles.

[Robbie]

We'll explain it.

[Kassem]

You picked a perfect time.

[Jamie]

And look at this. He brought back, like, the pajama pants. Color scheme. It's really emotional. Smell chemicals of.

[Kassem]

Yeah. Sweatshirts. Yeah. This is the vestige of our old podcast. The rug. I feel like the microphones are the same ones.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

We're just in a really different stage. Yeah.

[Robbie]

So people.

[Jamie]

We look older. I bet you never. You ever look back at some videos.

[Robbie]

We were young guys in the first pajama pants.

[Jamie]

We. Yeah.

[Robbie]

Really?

[Kassem]

I was at peak health. I was exercising all the time.

[Jamie]

I was like, pre Botox. Like, I was like a baby.

[Robbie]

How much. How many times have you done Botox?

[Jamie]

Like 3.

[Kassem]

I honestly didn't know that you did.

[Jamie]

I don't have any.

[Robbie]

It makes us look at you differently.

[Jamie]

I don't have any in my face right now.

[Kassem]

I always saw you as. I think it's a Botox.

[Jamie]

I did it for the first time when I was 39, and I've done it, like, three times since.

[Robbie]

What? So what goes through your head when you're just one day, like, it's time to.

[Jamie]

Honestly, it usually comes around like a PMS period, where I'm just looking at myself like. Like. Like old. I look old and I just get like, a tiny bit. Just a tiny bit.

[Robbie]

So you've only done forehead.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Okay, so if. Because I know we've talked about this before, but if you were gonna. If you were gonna make the next step to do a next thing. What would it be?

[Jamie]

A neck lift.

[Robbie]

Are they gonna say a necklace?

[Jamie]

No, like a neck lift. I think that's what I'll do one day.

[Robbie]

Really?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Because it doesn't with the face. Like, it doesn't pull the face back. Because I think, like, even the best facelifts, even though it seems like they're getting better, like you just. Like the mouth just like, is slightly pulled, but I think a nice smooth neck, you can't ever go wrong.

[Robbie]

But do you feel like you have an old neck?

[Jamie]

Not yet.

[Robbie]

Oh, sorry. We have a guest.

[Kassem]

There's something going on with.

[Jamie]

I made a. Well, I made a rash confessional. That's why.

[Kassem]

No, it. It does change the way I think about you, but it does lead into. Have you seen. Obviously you've seen Demi Moore and Lindsay Lohan and the. The sort of the new plastic surgeon that's fixing all the messes.

[Robbie]

Oh, I haven't seen that. Richie, have you seen this?

[Kassem]

Richie, would you pull up Lindsay Lohan before and after, like, just some.

[Jamie]

Like, it's mad.

[Kassem]

And Demi Moore before and after.

[Robbie]

Just in case anyone's freaking out. Who watches our pod? We're in l. Me and Jamie, because this.

[Jamie]

We're in la. This is what happens here.

[Kassem]

Doing refugee work.

[Robbie]

Yeah, I'm just. Yeah, that's right. Jamie is helping fire victims. I'm gambling.

[Jamie]

Look at this, Robbie.

[Robbie]

So they're saying that on the left.

[Kassem]

She'S fixed on the left, she's fixed on the right. Was her before. That was like, right before she went to like, Abu Dhabi or whatever and started talking all weird how you video.

[Jamie]

Her trying to help, like, people off the street.

[Kassem]

Yeah, we have to help the children. I. I don't even remember, but she.

[Robbie]

Was like, how you say? A children. Yeah, she was like, didn't know. Oh, my God, she's the best.

[Kassem]

But that was sort of. You definitely would look at her and be like, oh, she's been under the knife several times. Apparently the rumor is there's a new guy that's fixing all these bad plastic surgery jobs from the odds.

[Robbie]

Where do you hear this rumor?

[Kassem]

Oh, it's.

[Jamie]

I'm part of the guy. Don't. Gatekeep.

[Kassem]

I have no idea who.

[Jamie]

Give us the guy.

[Kassem]

But he's doing her. He's doing Demi Moore, who looks fantastic.

[Jamie]

Fantastic. How old is she? 60. Got to be right?

[Kassem]

70.

[Jamie]

No, I would have no idea.

[Robbie]

Here we go. My ADD is not letting me just breathe.

[Jamie]

62.

[Robbie]

Jamie and I are in California to do something and that we happen to be at George and Bryce's old studio who produced our podcast. They're allowing us to do a couple pods out of here. We're very grateful. Cass now works here. Thank you for having us.

[Kassem]

I'm in the podcast game.

[Robbie]

I. You work at the studio, and you also happen to be our favorite guest.

[Kassem]

Please.

[Jamie]

Favorite guy, Favorite person. You really are. You really are the other.

[Robbie]

No, she meant. She just meant person. Like, favorite person everything. She didn't mean guy. Guest.

[Kassem]

Oh, okay.

[Robbie]

Like, you're our guy.

[Jamie]

You're our guy.

[Kassem]

But what about guest?

[Robbie]

Top four, for sure.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Yeah. No, you're. You're the best.

[Jamie]

You bring out the best in us.

[Kassem]

Howie Mandel.

[Robbie]

Yeah. Don't start. You. You started.

[Jamie]

Come on, Cass. Yeah. You are the one. You.

[Kassem]

Wow. I love when you guys get into the.

[Robbie]

No, Howie's great.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

How? I don't wanna. Yeah. Yeah. So we're. We're in la.

[Jamie]

Jamie, what are you looking at?

[Robbie]

Jamie was helping victims yesterday. Now she has a little sore throat, so. Really? Who's the victim?

[Jamie]

Who was helping? I was helping at a donation center, sort through clothes, and I'm, you know, not in la. I went straight from the airport there. So my friend is organizing it. She's working so hard, and I just felt so far away when the fires were happening and just feeling, like, so helpless. Like everyone in the world felt, I'm sure, you know, just like, wanting to help. So as soon as I got here, I was like, I'm coming. I'm helping. And because I'm not here, I wasn't, like, thinking about air quality. And I was outside for hours sorting through clothes and boxes, and then an hour later, just got, like, the worst migraine that just went away after 36 hours.

[Robbie]

Also gave you a bit of a smokey eye.

[Kassem]

You look great. Yeah. So the. The stuff that's in the eye I.

[Jamie]

Have fake eyelashes on because we just did. Robbie and I were contestants.

[Robbie]

Can we say? I think it's coming out for a while from now.

[Jamie]

It's a game show.

[Robbie]

I did my first game show. It didn't go well. Jamie's the queen, blah, blah, blah.

[Kassem]

She's so good at games. Even just board games at your house.

[Jamie]

My brain was made for games.

[Robbie]

She's so good. Yeah, she's so good at games. But. But going from tragedy to triumph. Our boy got married. We were out here a month ago for our boy's wedding.

[Kassem]

Yeah, you guys came out married now Castle got mad.

[Robbie]

Yeah, it was beautiful.

[Jamie]

And she's stunningly gorgeous.

[Robbie]

Great.

[Jamie]

You guys were so beautiful up there. I loved your vows in true cast form of just equal parts heart and humor and levity and truth.

[Kassem]

It was.

[Jamie]

It was perfect.

[Kassem]

It was a near perfect night, I will say. Oh, everyone wanted to take a photo with you guys.

[Jamie]

With us.

[Kassem]

With you.

[Jamie]

Nobody talked to us.

[Kassem]

My aunt took a photo.

[Jamie]

I talked to her for a long time. And even before your aunt for all.

[Robbie]

We're huge in Jordan.

[Kassem]

Even before. This is the Egyptian country. This is the Egyptian aunt. Even before she posted a single thing about us, our wedding. She was like, here's a photo with me and the Sopranos kids on Facebook.

[Jamie]

She was lovely.

[Kassem]

That's how much she really enjoyed meeting you. You guys were fantastic.

[Jamie]

I finally got to meet Annie gazing.

[Kassem]

You really made her day. Yeah, you guys were great.

[Robbie]

She took a picture with me and she went, this is for profile. She was like. She was like the. What do you call it? Like the front page of Facebook.

[Jamie]

Your profile photo.

[Robbie]

Yeah. She's like, this is the profile to.

[Jamie]

Let me know the landing page.

[Robbie]

Wow.

[Kassem]

Yeah, it. The Sopranos has reach. You know, I don't think my mom.

[Robbie]

She captured me and my son.

[Kassem]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys. It's so fun to watch you guys work a room.

[Robbie]

Did we work a room?

[Kassem]

You guys don't maybe even know you do it.

[Robbie]

I feel like we never left our chance.

[Kassem]

But like, when people come up to you, you're so. There's like, you know, you don't have to. To engage with people the way you guys do. You guys are always so nice to folks.

[Jamie]

Well, these are. Your people are really nervous.

[Robbie]

Right? And just regular people were pieces of. But in your. At your wedding, while you guys were.

[Jamie]

Great, this was not like unhearded masses.

[Kassem]

Thanks for turning it on.

[Jamie]

And you know, let's also just give a quick shout out before we move on that Robbie and I picked. I mean, I picked your song to end your song. You did?

[Kassem]

Yeah. We.

[Jamie]

You picked the entrance songs.

[Robbie]

Well, let me. Every wedding I've ever been to, the people were always like, on a neurotic level about everything, I feel like. Because that's just what your wedding turns you into, right? Well, this has to be here. This has. I've never seen two people so chill the day before at the rehearsal, they're like, what do you think we should walk down the aisle to? And they're like, we're. We're spitballing like a bunch of cast.

[Jamie]

And I's bedroom in the hotel like the night before the wedding at like.

[Kassem]

10 o'clock you were blitzed.

[Robbie]

It was your hotel room. They came to our bedroom. Like we went in the bedroom just because we're in la.

[Kassem]

It was their bedroom.

[Robbie]

It was one room with a bed. Yeah.

[Jamie]

And he. And we picked a song.

[Kassem]

You were so stoned. Yeah, I love a stone.

[Jamie]

Jamie, what else do you do on vacation?

[Kassem]

It was a perfect time to ask about music. It's like normally when you ask people about music, they go, oh, this is a good song. You were like, know what you should do? I'm feeling. You know you're doing that. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wrote it all down. And then we. We. I forget what the name of it it was.

[Jamie]

Nothing's going to stop us now.

[Robbie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We finally got you.

[Jamie]

This is going to get copyrighted, cuz Mannequin is one of my favorite movies of all time.

[Robbie]

Got Jamie to sing on the pod. It just took coming to la. See la, it's just this town. It brings it out of people.

[Jamie]

You're going to be picked the Jurassic park theme song.

[Kassem]

Appropriate. The song you picked. Right. Nothing's gonna stop us now. Mannequin. Appropriate.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Kassem]

Made sense. Rob came out of left field with we needed a groomsman song that would play when all the groomsmen came down. And I was like kind of stuck on it. And then Robbie's like, you know what you should do? Jurassic park soundtrack, left field.

[Robbie]

That's your. That's like your anthem.

[Jamie]

According in my head, by the way. This. It was three notes in and everybody there, at least on Kassem's side, crushed it.

[Kassem]

The violin kicks in.

[Robbie]

Yeah, it was.

[Kassem]

Everyone just like got up like they're on that Jeep, you know, in the movie. Started looking at us. It was perfect.

[Jamie]

It was amazing. It was great.

[Kassem]

John was there.

[Jamie]

It was pretty magical.

[Kassem]

It was really cool. It was to. To your point about like us being stressed looking like we were stress free. There was. There was a little bit of stress, but I think I didn't really have a lot to worry about because Ashley did everything but also function of getting married this late in life is like I didn't. There was no question of whether or not I was doing the right or wrong thing.

[Jamie]

Does that still go on? Do people like. I guess when you're younger, I feel.

[Kassem]

Like you worry about like, am I supposed to be doing this?

[Jamie]

Is this the right thing? You know?

[Robbie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

I didn't think that when I was getting married at 22 of like, is this the right person? But I do remember a moment of like, should I be doing this?

[Kassem]

Yeah. Yeah. Because it's. You can do anything at 22. At my age, it's like, I'm late to this already. I just got to get it done. This person's great. Let's just lock down, do it. Yeah. I'm not going to stress out about what song or what the venue is or whatever. Let's just do it.

[Jamie]

It was, it was very. It was lights everywhere. It was pre Christmas.

[Kassem]

Pre Christmas is a good. That's another reason why I wanted to do it in December was because, like, you're already getting there are already life stuff. That's half the production.

[Jamie]

Everyone's in the mood.

[Robbie]

Yeah. And the first thing I did when I walked, because we went into the again, they didn't. He didn't even know what the room looked like. They were gonna get married. And at the time when they're like setting it up. So I, I happened to go there first and I sent him like a photo. There was a Christmas tree on the dance floor. And I was like, you all right with this, babe? Like. And he was like, I don't know. Like, I'm just like, this is amazing. Like, you guys were just so chill.

[Kassem]

It was great.

[Jamie]

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[Kassem]

The only thing that I think I stressed out about was fitting into my suit and that you look good.

[Jamie]

You did that wedding diet.

[Kassem]

Thank you.

[Robbie]

You got your hair done. We were there with my hair.

[Kassem]

I looked like one of the characters in the Sopranos.

[Jamie]

Your hair was. That was a. That was a full blow dry. You might have used some velcro rollers.

[Kassem]

It. It felt like I was in a telenovela. I was like, my daughter was having her quinceanera or there was, and you had the tile.

[Jamie]

You know what's so great about you? So versatile cast, though. You could have been in a telenovela. You could have been Dracula. You could have been like Nosferatu.

[Kassem]

Nosferatu, yeah.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Robbie]

Anything. Just those two things.

[Kassem]

But yeah, yeah, you could have been abe Vagoda.

[Jamie]

Yes. 100%.

[Kassem]

No. Thank you. Yeah. It was a great. It was a great night, and I'm so glad I got to spend it with you guys. And I'm glad you guys could take photos with my family.

[Robbie]

I felt very honored that you spent the night before your wedding with us, with all the family or around you. Let's hang.

[Kassem]

Well, you know that me and you guys have this sort of like, we can kind of just be in the room together at any place and there's no pressure ever. So there's like, some people are like flying in and you feel like you have to entertain or just like keep. Keep a ball up in the air when they're around. Just like. But I just wanted to chill and if I had to chill, there's only a. There's a short list of people.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

And that's. You Know it's gonna be you guys and you know, a couple. My brother's one of those people.

[Jamie]

John, your brother's great.

[Kassem]

Your brother's just had a kid yesterday. I just met my nephew this morning.

[Robbie]

Congrats.

[Kassem]

I think it's gonna be Miles.

[Robbie]

I think it's gonna be. They have it. See, look how chill these garibas are. They're like, I don't know, we'll probably name the kid eventually.

[Kassem]

They wanted to wait until he was.

[Jamie]

Born to meet him.

[Kassem]

Yeah, well, he. They wanted to hear him say it. He's like, hey, nice to meet you, Miles.

[Robbie]

You guys, are you. You're gonna have kids quick, right?

[Kassem]

I mean, that's why you got this job.

[Jamie]

You working on it.

[Kassem]

You know what's holding me up is I have a rash and Ashley's like, go to the doctor.

[Jamie]

Where's the rat?

[Robbie]

Really?

[Kassem]

Yeah. She's like, go to the doctor. Why aren't you going to the doctor? We're not going to have kids till you figure out what's going on with your rash.

[Jamie]

Is the rash on the peepee?

[Kassem]

No, no. It's like on my chest.

[Jamie]

So what? Fuck that.

[Kassem]

I've been. I've had this rash for like a month. I'm like, it's gonna go away.

[Robbie]

What does it have to do with the kid?

[Kassem]

Well, she just thinks, like, I gotta go to the doctor before I start.

[Jamie]

It's not spreading.

[Robbie]

She wants to know you're a man who could take care of things.

[Kassem]

She wants to know I'm not a disease prone guy with some crazy, like, I don't know, shingles or something. But yeah, B.

[Jamie]

You guys didn't do blood work before you got married?

[Robbie]

Blood work?

[Kassem]

Is that a Dracula joke?

[Jamie]

It wasn't.

[Kassem]

Yeah, we didn't. We didn't. We didn't do blood work. But yeah. So she looks at my rash every night because I take my shirt off before I go into bed and. Take it easy, ladies. And she goes, yeah.

[Jamie]

She goes, wedding day and it's done.

[Kassem]

Rash. I'm like, I don't know. I think it's going away.

[Jamie]

Do you put anything. You put any hydrocortisone cream?

[Kassem]

I think I'm just allergic to the leilabo.

[Robbie]

Well, you put it on your clothes.

[Kassem]

Put it on my bare chest.

[Robbie]

What?

[Kassem]

What do you mean? For those who don't put cologne on your.

[Robbie]

Lao is a. Is a cologne. It's a perfume store. Cologne, whatever. You know, they get offended now when you go in and you're like, which one is for men? They're like, all of them. That's. And then which one is for women all. It's like, oh, sorry for thinking like men and women have different.

[Jamie]

If you're thinking about having babies. I was just told yesterday that anything with a scent is an endocrine disruptor.

[Robbie]

A what now?

[Jamie]

Endocrine disruptor.

[Robbie]

Okay.

[Jamie]

Which means your hormones.

[Robbie]

Yes.

[Jamie]

Which is what you guys need intact for the baby making.

[Robbie]

My dad had five kids. I don't need nothing. I need. I need to spray myself with a lot of.

[Jamie]

I'm pretty sure I had, like, Yeah. A dipty candle in my face when I got pregnant with both my kids, so it's fine.

[Robbie]

That's sexy.

[Kassem]

Okay, well, that might make sense, but.

[Jamie]

Maybe you're a little.

[Kassem]

But don't put it on the bare skin. You're saying.

[Robbie]

No, no, no. Just spray it on your clothes when.

[Kassem]

I get out of the show.

[Jamie]

Never shut down your bare skin.

[Kassem]

Really?

[Robbie]

No, no.

[Kassem]

Do you think that's why I have a rash?

[Robbie]

I wish I could stand up to show you this because I know you'd love it. I spray it right in front of me, and then I walk through it.

[Jamie]

That's what I do.

[Robbie]

Come on. These are classy people.

[Jamie]

That's like, since high school, I've done this.

[Robbie]

Yeah, you're dealing with two classy humans. You know what? I do, too. Then I do a little spray behind the back and I walk backwards.

[Kassem]

The coordination alone, I know.

[Jamie]

That's like. I can't do that. Yeah, I do a twirl.

[Robbie]

I couldn't pull that off. See the twirl? The.

[Kassem]

Yeah, this is cool. This is news to me. I'll maybe just do that and see if the rash clears.

[Robbie]

Imagine if we're responsible for him having. Getting her pregnant in a week from now. Because that would be.

[Jamie]

The rash is clear.

[Robbie]

This pause.

[Jamie]

Is she unattracted to you because she's not attracted to you right now because of the rash?

[Kassem]

No, I hope not.

[Jamie]

You don't want her to be attracted to you.

[Kassem]

Oh, you mean, like, does she not want to touch me because of the rash? It definitely is a barrier.

[Robbie]

Can we. Can we see the rash? I think we should see the rash.

[Kassem]

Okay.

[Robbie]

Yeah. This is the best you're ever gonna look. This is right after the diet. That's your nipple.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Oh, that's fine. That's being a guy. You're a guy.

[Jamie]

Is it on the other side, too?

[Robbie]

Oh, you said it was like a little patch.

[Jamie]

I think this is a detergent thing.

[Kassem]

Oh, you think?

[Robbie]

Do you spray Le Labo over there too?

[Kassem]

No, I just put it right here.

[Jamie]

No. Then it's not the Lay Labo detergent.

[Robbie]

No. Have you changed detergents lately?

[Kassem]

She. She uses all kinds of stuff. She uses the scented stuff. And I'm sensitive to scents. Yeah, but I have unscented.

[Robbie]

They're endocrine disruptors.

[Jamie]

But is sheets in the scented.

[Kassem]

Excuse me.

[Jamie]

Is she watching? Washing your sheets?

[Kassem]

Yes.

[Jamie]

Scented. That's what it is.

[Robbie]

Things are false.

[Kassem]

I can go back to her and say, this is your fault.

[Robbie]

So it's been there for a month, like. Like, right, since you got married.

[Kassem]

Maybe it's stress can stress break me out.

[Robbie]

Oh, it could do anything.

[Jamie]

Stress can do anything.

[Kassem]

Because maybe I thought I was stress free, but my body was like, oh, he's not emoting. Let's do it in the form of rest.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or. Or you know that thing where you're like running on adrenaline, like, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, Holiday and then.

[Kassem]

No, that's what I was doing.

[Robbie]

You said wedding so many times.

[Kassem]

You know how you're running. Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding.

[Robbie]

Wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding, wedding.

[Kassem]

Yeah, I was running.

[Jamie]

There's a lot of planning involved, but.

[Robbie]

Can we just say Jamie just housed two slices of pizza.

[Kassem]

She ate two slices. I ate one.

[Robbie]

I've never seen somebody eat so fast.

[Jamie]

I had a migraine. I needed a hell out. Yeah, yeah, you're better.

[Robbie]

You. That was record speed that you ate those two slices.

[Jamie]

I always eat that fast.

[Robbie]

Jame, I've. I've eaten a billion meals with you. I've never seen you do what you did in there. You were. I thought you were on your first slice. When you were halfway through the slice and I looked and there was just a thing of crust on the plate. I was like, holy.

[Kassem]

It was concerning.

[Robbie]

It was so fast. And you were like, oh, you were like Chris Farley Saturday Night Live sketch. You're like, lay off me.

[Kassem]

That was cool.

[Robbie]

It was very.

[Kassem]

It was hot. It was like. It was that scene in Cone Heads, you know, where she. Yeah, another Chris Farley.

[Robbie]

So go. Sorry, Jamie. Go ahead. He was wedding, wedding, wedding.

[Jamie]

No, and then, you know, and then when you stop and you think like, oh, I'm going to relax now. That's when your body shows up.

[Kassem]

I think that's maybe what happened.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

But I do. She does want me to go to the doctor to get like, my sperm counted.

[Robbie]

Jesus, don't you just. Don't you just shoot a few in first and then do. Do all.

[Jamie]

Don't waste Time. He can't waste time.

[Kassem]

Can I also tell you this? I think my stream has been really weak for the life.

[Robbie]

For peeing?

[Kassem]

Yeah, for like a year.

[Robbie]

What about the force of the jizz? Are you shooting ropes?

[Kassem]

I don't know, because we've been using prophylactics.

[Robbie]

Ah, yeah, but. But, you know, you know, there's. There's, you know. Have. You have.

[Kassem]

I'm not blowing out the back of the condom, if that's what you're.

[Robbie]

Okay, well, the front. I don't know how you blow out the back of a Connie. It's the front. You'd.

[Kassem]

Okay. Right. Well, I think it could be. I could think it could be both.

[Robbie]

Okay.

[Kassem]

I don't know if I'm. I don't know if I have the strength anymore down there, and I'm wondering if I'm.

[Jamie]

How old are you?

[Kassem]

41.

[Jamie]

You're fine.

[Robbie]

So weak pee.

[Kassem]

I might pee sometimes. I. I also know I'm peeing more. And I know as you get older, your prostate starts to do this thing. But, like, I noticed, like, the day it happened, I'm like, oh, that's some little pee.

[Robbie]

Really? But then you didn't think, like, oh, that's just. Because that happens sometimes.

[Kassem]

We're like, something just like every pee now. Unless I really have to pee.

[Robbie]

Oh, wow. Every pee is a system.

[Kassem]

And I think about, like, oh, do I have prostate cancer? I should go get it checked out.

[Robbie]

Damn. The rash and the.

[Kassem]

Do you think a rat. Do you think I just diagnosed myself.

[Robbie]

That you have what now?

[Jamie]

Prostate cancer.

[Robbie]

Prostate cancer.

[Jamie]

Oh, stop. But you need to go to a doctor. We need to.

[Kassem]

I should go.

[Jamie]

Last time you've had a checkup.

[Kassem]

I did just get a vaccine. I know. It's getting controversial. I did get a. A flu vaccine, the whooping cough vaccine, to be able to touch the kid.

[Jamie]

Oh, the baby. Yes.

[Kassem]

Yeah, yeah.

[Robbie]

Other than that, for the rash, I.

[Kassem]

Did that at a Walgreens, so technically.

[Jamie]

I haven't been to the safest place in the world.

[Robbie]

These libs will do anything. Yeah, good.

[Kassem]

That's right.

[Robbie]

By the way, behind a curtain in a Walgreens. Getting the shot.

[Kassem]

It's even worse than that. They built a cubicle, like, that's in the waiting room of the pharmacy, and it's the size of a toilet, airplane, bathroom. And you go in there, you're like, oh, this is for privacy. That's cool. You get it. It's the most disgusting. It looks like that's where I got.

[Jamie]

A COVID vaccine in one of those.

[Kassem]

Oh, you can't believe people are doing medical things.

[Jamie]

I agree.

[Kassem]

But that's where I got my whooping cough vaccine. I have not been to the doctor since, like, I did a herpes test years ago after a relationship.

[Robbie]

So it was like, dive into that. Let's double click on that.

[Kassem]

I used to get SCD check after every relationship.

[Robbie]

You said specifically. You said specifically herpes.

[Kassem]

You mean before I started dating again, but like, after.

[Robbie]

No, that's a very responsible thing to do. But you said specifically herpes.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

You didn't say like, I just got.

[Kassem]

I got a full std, but okay, it's more colorful if I say herpes.

[Robbie]

Oh, well. But it also narrows it down to like. I thought maybe you might have had some. Another rash.

[Kassem]

No, but we've all had scares.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Oh, my God. I had full scare. I thought death.

[Kassem]

There's all. There's all kinds of things that can appear on your penis that aren't herpes but are very concerning, I would think.

[Robbie]

Really?

[Kassem]

Little pimples, papules, something. Him and mama.

[Jamie]

Penis pimples.

[Kassem]

Little penis pimples.

[Robbie]

Wow.

[Jamie]

Sounds rough.

[Kassem]

You know, it does sound rough because you look at you, if you see something like that on yourself, you go, oh, my God, I'm tainted. I'm dirty for sure.

[Jamie]

Damaged goods. Who would ever want.

[Kassem]

But then you go to the doctor. Yeah, doctor. I did a doctor.

[Jamie]

See, this is so you, Cass. And you get married and you let all the bumps out of your body.

[Robbie]

You're right.

[Jamie]

This is so you.

[Kassem]

This is so me.

[Robbie]

Popping up.

[Jamie]

We. Extreme rash everywhere.

[Robbie]

Locked her in and he's like, I'm not nervous at all.

[Kassem]

I could take the cake as like the sissiest guest. The least masculine guest.

[Jamie]

You.

[Kassem]

No, the biggest that's ever been on this. No, I'm talking about penis pimples week stream.

[Jamie]

Trying to think of person than him.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

It'S not coming. It's not coming.

[Robbie]

But, you know, but that doesn't mean.

[Kassem]

But I'm sure there is someone.

[Jamie]

But yeah, for sure.

[Kassem]

Just when that person comes to when.

[Robbie]

We had our podcast. You brought some people on. Those are probably the only ones who'd be bigger.

[Kassem]

Come on, dude, stop making fun of the UFO community.

[Robbie]

No, I'm. I'm just every.

[Kassem]

Don't you know what's going on? Dude, the in Jersey is still going on.

[Jamie]

Let's go from STD to UFO with the aliens.

[Kassem]

They just, as of last week, came out with a new whistleblower who showed some alarming new evidence.

[Jamie]

Can we see It. Can we pull it up?

[Kassem]

Can you pull up Egg video? Uap Egg Video News Nation. Thank you. There is a.

[Robbie]

Tell us you're. You're.

[Kassem]

There is a. A new whistleblower that's come out, by the way. There's been all kinds of stuff. It's really been ramping up since the holidays. Obviously there was a. We're in the middle of a drone flap.

[Robbie]

Of course. Yeah.

[Kassem]

And since then, a new whistleblower has come out and said he worked for the crash retrieval program, which is a group of men that when UFOs crash, they go out and they retrieve them. They probably sell them or give them to skunk work. Lockheed Martin. Skunk works, Raytheon. For them to reverse engineer. I'm sure you know all that. However, there is a new video that they just dropped. Yep. This is a helicopter dangling what they call the egg, which is a UAP shaped like an egg.

[Jamie]

Is this it? Is this just gonna keep repeating?

[Kassem]

Yeah, that's it.

[Robbie]

Oh, this is it.

[Kassem]

That's it. Is that not. Isn't that mind blowing to you?

[Jamie]

It's not enough.

[Kassem]

That's not enough.

[Jamie]

I need more.

[Kassem]

It's not doing it for. You had nighttime vision of a helicopter.

[Robbie]

I mean, it definitely perked me up, but I'm not now.

[Kassem]

That's not doing it.

[Robbie]

Sold on anything. But that could be anything.

[Kassem]

So what they're saying is these are being controlled. This is how they get them down. Okay. They hire a psychic. They have a psionic asset who sits and meditates, ends up piloting the egg, brings the egg down, they retrieve it. That's how they're retrieving something.

[Robbie]

But why couldn't that psych.

[Jamie]

The American government has psychics that bring them.

[Kassem]

Your government hires psychics and remote viewers as a whole program.

[Jamie]

They've been doing it since a cold war. I mean, listen, I love to meditate.

[Robbie]

You want to dive in?

[Kassem]

You believe in psychics? I just listened to the. The most recent Not Today, pal, in which you. You are obviously a believer. You believe in what's his name? Brian Tyree, Henry Tyler Henry. Yep. And then you're famously an anti psychic guy.

[Robbie]

Yeah, I mean, anti. Especially like TV psychics. That. That whole, like, racket. And yeah, there's a.

[Kassem]

There's a thing with TV psychics, but what if I told you your government's been hiring psychics and remote viewers as government assets to spy on foreign countries and figure out their secrets?

[Jamie]

That. That's weird.

[Kassem]

That's weird. You believe in ghosts, but that's weird.

[Jamie]

A psychic can spy on other countries.

[Kassem]

It's called remote viewing. Yeah, well look up Joe McMonagle. He's a famous. When you get a load of this guy, you're going to be like, oh yeah, that guy's a psychic.

[Robbie]

This is a guy. If we were still doing a podcast together, you'd have on.

[Kassem]

This is my ideal guest for a podcast. Absolutely still alive.

[Robbie]

Joe Monacle.

[Kassem]

Joe McMonagle. Put some respect on his name. This guy is one of the most.

[Jamie]

Memoirs of a psychic viewers.

[Kassem]

Yeah, this guy remote viewed Mars 1 million years BC and found that there was an ancient alien civilization that was dying out.

[Robbie]

Okay. I gotta say I'm a little.

[Kassem]

There's. And that's on CIA.gov.

[Robbie]

Okay.

[Kassem]

That. Your CIA. Your government has that on their website.

[Robbie]

I feel like we've taken a sharp turn.

[Kassem]

You asked me about it.

[Robbie]

I know, I didn't think we'd end up. This is of Joe McMonicle. But this is where we.

[Kassem]

I'll tell you, this is what I spend my time doing while you guys are in Austin, Texas.

[Robbie]

Here I can make both of our worlds meet.

[E]

Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two year contracts, they said what the are you talking about? You insane Hollywood. So to recap, we're cutting the price of mint unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Robbie]

$45 up front payment equivalent to $15 per month.

[Jamie]

New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees, extra Speed slower above 40 gigabytes.

[Robbie]

Details right now. So me and Kassim famously love the autistic people. The. The communities. We love them. We're big fans.

[Kassem]

That laugh is not appropriate. And it's only because we're all so slightly autistic.

[Robbie]

Yes. Yeah, of course.

[Jamie]

A hundred percent.

[Robbie]

Yes.

[Kassem]

All. All of us don't agree so hard.

[Robbie]

Yeah, that's what you're supposed to be like.

[Jamie]

No guys, that was supportive. Okay.

[Robbie]

Anyway, the. So I'm listening to this new thing now called telepathy file the telepathy tapes.

[Jamie]

800 people have told me I need to listen to this guys.

[Robbie]

It's.

[Kassem]

Well, that's a specific type of autist.

[Robbie]

Well, it's non verbal. Yeah. Which is a lot of them. But they all, they all supposedly communicate non verbally. So like this kid will say, hey, my best Friend's name is George in Nebraska, but he lives in Texas. And they're like, yeah, whatever. And then like, the kid in Nebraska is like, no, my best friend is Fred in Texas. And they're like, what? And then the parents, like find each other on Facebook and they're like, my parents, like, these kids are saying they talk to you because they type everything out. Jamie. It's wild. They meet on this place called the Hill.

[Kassem]

Do you believe it?

[Robbie]

I think I do.

[Jamie]

I don't know how in their minds at a place called the Hill.

[Robbie]

Yes. There's thousands of them sometimes waiting on the hill.

[Jamie]

You believe in this and not believe in the other?

[Robbie]

Well, because I. I can't imagine these autistic people are like pulling the wool over our eyes. They can't even communicate.

[Jamie]

Same channel that you can go to with your mind that these psychics.

[Robbie]

But I don't believe these. I don't know what word to use. The people who are on like tlc. I'm not buying that. No, I was going to a derogatory kind of like just the people who appear on these shows, they seem. I. I see them as used car salesman. I see their tricks. I know what they're up to. You see these autistic people who are like, can't speak and they're typing on a chair. If they're tricking me, then. Way to go.

[Kassem]

There's literally the lady who does it. She has a calculator and she's doing a crazy math problem, right? It's like, 1, 4, 6, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, blah, blah, blah, times blah, blah, blah, blah. And then she hits equals. And then they'll go to the autistic kid and be like, what number is this? And he'll go, you know, and then they'll. He'll push the buttons on this iPad. And I'm not trying to be funny or anything. That's just they. They are non verbal. That's what they sound like. But they hit the buttons and he gets it exactly right.

[Robbie]

Jamie. They. They say, so let's say there's someone over there who. There's people who are like non believers. And they'll say, hey, the camera guy, give me your. You're reading a book on the back of your. In the. There's a book in your back pocket. Give me the book. They give the book to the mom. They go open to any page and look at a word. And they look at the word and the kid automatically starts typing. It'll be like, page 723. The word is patriot. And they say. And so, Jamie, they say to one kid, how did you know what your mom was seeing? Can you see through her eyes? And he goes, I see everything. Yeah.

[Kassem]

Goosebumps, right?

[Robbie]

James, I'm telling you this.

[Kassem]

You gotta let this Great.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God. It's a TV show or. No, it's podcast.

[Robbie]

They're gonna definitely make a show on this. It's gonna be. It's awesome. It's so good.

[Kassem]

It's with Kai Dickens. It's the hottest woman. She is. I don't know.

[Robbie]

She just makes the documentarian, I believe, Dickens deal.

[Kassem]

She is like, oh, she's a filmmaker. It's a fantastic listen. It's an even better watch. And it's podcast. Yeah, There's. There's video.

[Robbie]

I didn't know there's a video.

[Kassem]

Yeah, yeah. So it's.

[Jamie]

Wow, I can't wait to dive in.

[Robbie]

So it's on YouTube or something?

[Kassem]

Yeah, I think it's on YouTube.

[Robbie]

Wow. I've been walking around listening.

[Kassem]

I just been listening to it.

[Robbie]

But it's so good, right?

[Kassem]

It's. It's incredible.

[Robbie]

And they all meet on the hill. They all meet on the hill.

[Kassem]

I totally.

[Robbie]

I believe it a hundred percent.

[Jamie]

Of course.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Because again, there's. You say things, but like, you know, when somebody has down syndrome, it's like you're like, oh, I feel bad for. Like, you will feel like you want to help them. Like, when I see autistic people, I'm like, this. This dude knows they get jealous. Yeah.

[Kassem]

I go, I want what you have.

[Robbie]

Yeah. It's like you're on another.

[Kassem]

Right.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Level.

[Kassem]

Like, if somebody has to help me eat a salad, fine. If I get to see everything, if I get to know all.

[Robbie]

All knowing casts, you can help me eat a salad. But then you also. Yeah, no, I'm white salad.

[Kassem]

It's just they.

[Jamie]

You're still in the diet.

[Kassem]

They're restricted in movement. But yeah, I would eat a salad. Yeah, it's just cleaner.

[Robbie]

The. One of the things. Let's just jump to another topic. One of the things I wanted to ask you guys about that I just heard the story and I know you guys are always in the gossip and this. And Again, this is 30 years ago gossip. But I just heard about this. Did you hear that on the set of Titanic?

[Kassem]

You mean from 1998?

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Yeah. Okay.

[Robbie]

Catering. Somebody spiked the catering with PCP.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

What's that?

[Robbie]

It's like a drug that really you up, Jamie.

[Kassem]

Innocent little.

[Robbie]

It's what me and Cutter do when we watch football. No, look here, it's. If you want to zoom in, it's. Yeah, that's why they call it pcp. I don't know. It's a up.

[Jamie]

Angel dust. I've heard of that is a disassociative static mainly used recreationally for its significant mind altering effects.

[Robbie]

So somebody. Somebody literally somehow sprinkled it, went up to all the food and by the way, it was like, I forget the numbers. How many people? If you guys want to look it up. Like how many people? People were like, up.

[Kassem]

Yeah, it was the chowder.

[Jamie]

Can you imagine?

[Robbie]

Yeah, it was like, did you have the chowder?

[Jamie]

If you had the chowder, you got spiked.

[Robbie]

Imagine. Go ahead, Jay. What were you gonna say? Imagine what?

[Jamie]

Imagine on the set of Sopranos one time, like all of a sudden everyone started tripping balls.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Did that happen?

[Robbie]

No, it wasn't Titan. Did that happen? I'd be talking about that story.

[Kassem]

Yo. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't hear. I. But this was.

[Jamie]

Do you think we'd all eventually give in and just start like giggling?

[Robbie]

The scary thing, they would all look at me and be like, this was Rob, Rob. You know, I was the only one doing fucking.

[Kassem]

This had to have been an upset.

[Jamie]

I don't know if it's final day of shooting. Dozens of films, cast and crew were drugged.

[Kassem]

He was.

[Jamie]

James Cameron said, this is 100% true. You haven't lived until you've been high on PCP. Which by the way, I do not recommend to anyone.

[Robbie]

Truer words cannot be said about drugs. By the way, you haven't lived until you peaked on Blank. But don't recommend it to anyone. Yeah, that's a great man.

[Jamie]

Got away with chowder. Yeah, he did.

[Robbie]

85 crew members walked into the emergency room.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Robbie]

Somebody had taken a pound of PCP and dumped it into the chowder. Here's the thing. Who's got a pound of PCP to throw around?

[Kassem]

That's a lot of drugs.

[Robbie]

That's a lot of money.

[Kassem]

What's the street value on a thou? A thousand.

[Robbie]

I can get it to you for £25.

[Jamie]

Somebody had beef with the caterers. That's what it says. They believe the.

[Kassem]

James Cameron's famously a hard ass director.

[Robbie]

Right.

[Jamie]

Like he would love to work for him.

[Robbie]

Yeah. There's a story on Titanic of someone looking at their watch and he's like, if you want to know what time it is. And just like, just because they look at their watch.

[Jamie]

You know what's weird? Whenever I hear Stories about, like, directors like that or directors that make you do, like a hundred takes, you know, whatever. I love that I would. I'm like, I want to work for them.

[Robbie]

Why?

[Jamie]

I like, I like the idea of being pushed to my limits. Really, because I. Because I am somebody that, like, I think when you have a collaborative, like, experience of somebody that just like, knows you can do more and pushes you there, it like, unlocks parts of yourself that for me, history has shown. Like, I just need the push.

[Robbie]

I'm gonna start pushing you on this pod.

[Jamie]

Do it.

[Robbie]

Not today.

[Kassem]

Remember how you said you like to be tied up and so did I. Yeah.

[Robbie]

That was a big moment. Oh, why? You like to be pushed to your limits also. I like, I've never seen someone who likes to chill more than you. You like to be pushed to your limits.

[Kassem]

No, this is. I'm just saying touches on the same thing where it's just like, yes, I need help getting there, there. And if you got a timey up, jeez, it's the only way I can.

[Jamie]

Yeah, that was a big. That was a big moment for me and you when we, when we had that.

[Kassem]

Absolutely.

[Jamie]

We just.

[Robbie]

Can I tell you, when I was just down in San Diego, I was at a friend's place and he had a gym in the garage. So I'm doing all this stuff, and it was getting a little technical. This was leg day.

[Jamie]

Oh.

[Robbie]

And I, I. You do, like, a bunch of exercises. But then there was. I needed to do one more for the hamstrings. And you look it up and it's like, oh, you can. You can lay down. And then if you tie the. Tie the, like, elastic band to something, you could put your feet in it and kind of do these, like, pull away things. When I put my feet in there, I was like, I can't believe these two like to be tied up. That's what I thought about. I was like, this is the most uncomfortable, horrible. If I was naked, I'd be crying.

[Jamie]

I definitely wouldn't want my legs tied up. I'm not trying to, like, behind me, it was like bent knees.

[Robbie]

It was just like, my, my.

[Jamie]

That's a vulnerable position.

[Robbie]

They were like. That's what I'm saying. They were, like, together. And I was trying to do this exerc. And I was like, these two love.

[Kassem]

To be like, I'm talking about getting, like, tied up here. And then. My suck, brother. That's what I'm talking.

[Jamie]

Never do that again.

[Robbie]

Go get that antifungal medicine. That could be your Thing when we were going.

[Kassem]

I apologize.

[Jamie]

Not you. Is it the rash?

[Kassem]

It's the rash.

[Jamie]

Is the rash spreading?

[Robbie]

That's the name of your new pot. It's the rash. The. I remember we were going to the gym a lot. I remember you. You came down with a real bad case of jock itch.

[Kassem]

Oh, yeah.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

It's because you sit in those sweaty little. Those sweaty little shorts. Thank you, by the way. I hope my wife doesn't watch this episode, but you sit in those workouts.

[Robbie]

She already won't sleep with you.

[Jamie]

What's the word?

[Robbie]

What's gonna happen?

[Kassem]

Yeah, you're right. Anyways, there I was, sitting in my own juices marinating. But, yeah, you. If I. If you don't shower right after and, like, I would, you know, sit in the workout shorts for a while, you know, go on the computer, play some Rocket League or something.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Robbie]

Get lost wet.

[Kassem]

Get. Get lost wet. Sitting. And that, you know, after a while, takes its toll on your biome down there.

[Robbie]

There. I think I've had it. And it's just come and gone. There's no way it goes.

[Kassem]

It comes and goes.

[Robbie]

Because sometimes you get so itchy down there, and it's just. Sometimes you're like, man, this is sometimes. But then it just goes away itself.

[Kassem]

Is almost orgasmic.

[Robbie]

Oh, yeah. When you get a good. And you know what's wild? When I'm itchy like that, it doesn't bother me, like, during the day, but then as soon as I get home and take my pants off, it's. You know when you got. When you're scratching a dog and his leg. Yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, my God, I got the.

[Kassem]

There's no better feeling. And. But then it starts to hurt.

[Robbie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kassem]

Then you gotta stop, take a break.

[Robbie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have had jockage.

[Jamie]

Such a metaphor for life.

[Kassem]

Just take a break.

[Jamie]

Starts to hurt.

[Kassem]

Starts.

[Robbie]

Jack Itch's life bros. Yeah. What else do we. What else do we got here?

[Kassem]

Well, you know, famously, you on our podcast, you had a sharpie and notes, and this is so nice to see. It's back.

[Jamie]

See, this is what.

[Robbie]

This is what we're missing on. Not today, pal. When I start looking at the notes, Jamie just lets me sit there and suffer. I like that you popped in.

[Jamie]

Oh, okay. Is this a note for me?

[Robbie]

I'm just realizing. Are you pushing me?

[Kassem]

Director James, he's pushing you.

[Jamie]

Still wants me to talk.

[Robbie]

Okay, I need. I need some. That.

[Jamie]

No.

[Robbie]

Because I just felt that I wanted. No, we don't we barely edit.

[Kassem]

No one's gonna edit.

[Jamie]

We don't.

[Robbie]

I mean, no, they do a great job.

[Kassem]

Do it.

[Robbie]

But we don't cut stuff out. Like, we don't cut. There's eight seconds or six seconds. I don't think they're cutting it.

[Jamie]

They'll cut the air.

[Robbie]

But I got. Thanks for having my back.

[Kassem]

Always have your back.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Even if Jamie does not have it, I always have your back.

[Robbie]

I'll read some. I'll read some of the stuff I got here. I used toilet paper for the first time in a long time the other day.

[Kassem]

Horrible. Because you're not at home, right?

[Robbie]

Yeah. I'm a baby wipe guy normally. And it was just like, toilet paper that I had to use of place.

[Kassem]

I know that's barbaric.

[Robbie]

It's barbaric to take a and just use toilet paper. I know everyone has talked about this, but who uses, like, baby wipes and stuff when you can't go back?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Can I tell you what I've been doing? I have two bathrooms in my home. I'm not to brag.

[Jamie]

You have a poop room.

[Kassem]

There's a guest bathroom that has a heater. One of those heaters that you. I close the door, I turn on the heater, let it warm up for 20 minutes. Okay. Because when I enter that room, I want it hot. Because when it's cold in the winter, the worst, it's tough.

[Robbie]

I gotta put socks on.

[Kassem]

Totally.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

But if you have that heater, let it warm up 45 minutes. Sometimes I walk in, you know, like, it's hard to breathe. But that's exactly how I like it to poop.

[Robbie]

Sweltering. He likes it. But then like a jungle.

[Kassem]

Can you just let me finish? But this bathroom doesn't have the tushy in it. Only my master bathroom. My master bathroom.

[Robbie]

Which for people who don't know, is a.

[Kassem]

This bidet.

[Robbie]

Bidet. Thank you.

[Kassem]

And so I do a thing where I go in the guest bathroom. 95 degrees. I go. I use regular toilet paper because there's no bidet. Then I have to walk to the other bathroom. Spray. I have to do it to. For an ideal poop, I could get a heater in my master bath. But that's not what happens.

[Robbie]

I bet if we really talk to you for, like, three hours, we'd figure out what that rash is from.

[Kassem]

You think it's because you're sitting.

[Robbie]

You're up to antics.

[Kassem]

It's like I'm putting, like, a perfect, like. Like a microbiome. Like this. The microclimate for bacteria to grow.

[Robbie]

Yeah. You're. Yeah. You're pooping in a.

[Kassem]

You need it hot. You need fecal matter.

[Robbie]

You're pooping in a rainforest. And then not wiping, not cleaning fully.

[Jamie]

And putting your pants.

[Kassem]

But I am cleaning because I am.

[Jamie]

Do you go to the other two from bathroom to bathroom?

[Kassem]

No, I put. I pull up my underwear.

[Robbie]

So do you have to. Do you have to act in front of your lovely wife like nothing's going. Just a regular walk I'm doing here in the hallway.

[Kassem]

She has no idea what. She knows when the bathroom's heating up, what's going to happen.

[Robbie]

Oh, wow.

[Kassem]

But she always. She's always working and I.

[Robbie]

What a tree.

[Kassem]

I always close the door so she doesn't know when I'm walking.

[Jamie]

So she doesn't know about worse smell.

[Robbie]

Oh.

[Jamie]

Than a hot.

[Robbie]

I know exactly what you're going to say because of your dad.

[Jamie]

Cuz of my dad.

[Robbie]

I know you so well.

[Jamie]

My dad would read the newspaper on the toilet and then take a shower and so. And leave the newspaper on the floor next to the toilet and you would go in the bathroom after because, you know, we lived in a house where we all shared bathrooms and it would smell like hot newspaper poop. It's the worst.

[Robbie]

The title of this episode. Hot newspaper Poop. Thank you. Jay.

[Kassem]

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You have.

[Jamie]

I'm so upset with you. I didn't think you would do something.

[Robbie]

Every time you see a newspaper, do you think of poop?

[Jamie]

No.

[Robbie]

Okay.

[Jamie]

But when I hear something like that, it brings me right back.

[Kassem]

It. Here's what I will tell you. Maybe you'll feel a little bit better about. It is about five minutes before I'm done, heat goes off, vent goes on. Because by. I like by the time I get out, I don't really want there to be a.

[Jamie]

You sat in it too long. You're unaware of the effect that you're having.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

You're unaware of the damage that you're doing.

[Robbie]

And then stinky. It's. It's tough.

[Jamie]

It's disgusting.

[Robbie]

That's a tough.

[Jamie]

And it's entering into your pores.

[Robbie]

You know what I've heard like jokes.

[Jamie]

Making your pee stream week.

[Kassem]

I'd love to see in the comments if you guys. If anyone out there can figure out if that's really what's causing my rash or not.

[Robbie]

I've heard doctor or a doctor or.

[Kassem]

Just anyone that's qualified.

[Jamie]

Pooping in a sauna is disgusting.

[Kassem]

I'M not pooping in a sauna.

[Jamie]

Pretty much.

[Kassem]

It's like 89 degrees by the time I get in.

[Robbie]

It's pretty hot. But he's. He's like, Egyptian, so that's like 72 for us.

[Kassem]

That's like a chill.

[Jamie]

Needs a little jacket, light jacket, little windbreaker, a fleece.

[Robbie]

The. I had some. I was just going to see something.

[Kassem]

I got to wash your shoes again.

[Robbie]

I know. I just. We just did that show, and everyone's, like, in suits and everything, and Robbie's showing up with dirty sneakers.

[Kassem]

You know what's so funny? When we were having our. What was the. The rehearsal dinner for the wedding? He asked me. He was like, what do I wear to this? I'm like, rob's gonna love this answer. Wear whatever you'd wear casual. Wear your joggers. He shows up to the rehearsal dinner. Suit, jacket.

[Robbie]

That's it, though.

[Kassem]

He dressed up.

[Jamie]

I had a suit jacket, turned it on.

[Robbie]

I could. You know.

[Kassem]

I thought he was the only one.

[Robbie]

Being in the wedding party. I feel like I should.

[Kassem]

It was nice.

[Jamie]

Respect.

[Kassem]

Yeah, it was respect. And you also were. For the first time ever, I was given an envelope full of cash like in an Italian movie.

[Robbie]

First time in your life.

[Kassem]

Like, I don't think I've been given that much cash in an envelope. That was pretty.

[Robbie]

Shout out.

[Kassem]

I mean, you gave me $10,000.

[Robbie]

Shout out.

[Kassem]

Unbelievable.

[Jamie]

You gave him $10,000.

[Robbie]

Wedding party.

[Kassem]

It was a wedding, Jamie. See, Jamie got me stuff off the registry, which was really nice, but $10,000 in hundreds a stack.

[Robbie]

Well, shout out.

[Kassem]

So incredibly generous of you.

[Robbie]

Yeah, well, I was raised.

[Jamie]

Why you can't buy new shoes.

[Robbie]

Yeah. I was raised Italian. I'm Irish and don't know things that people will learn later about being German, which is the real, real fail. Today on the show we did, I just. Jamie made me look like trash. And then I made myself look like. And then I made myself.

[Kassem]

You know, it doesn't know geography.

[Robbie]

That's it.

[Jamie]

Notice I don't know because I don't know. He didn't know it either.

[Robbie]

I'm geography and history. I'm. And I could. We could sit here right now, and you could tell me all this stuff an hour later. I have nothing. I've tried to watch documentaries. I can't soak any of it up.

[Kassem]

That's okay.

[Jamie]

But there are guys about bitcoin. He knows it all.

[Kassem]

You know about bitcoin? But have you. Do you know about geoguessrs?

[Robbie]

I've seen that. Yeah.

[Kassem]

You know there's dudes out there, they just look. You show them a screenshot of a Google street image, any from anywhere in the world, they'll tell you where, where it is.

[Robbie]

I just want to say to anybody in my family who's going to have a wedding in the next few years, I did not give Kassemg $10,000.

[Kassem]

I, I, it was a nice amount.

[Robbie]

It was a nice amount. But I just want to let my family know because now when I give my brothers less than that, it's going to look bad. Shout out to my brother.

[Kassem]

I thought it was a. It was, I should have gone higher.

[Robbie]

It was a hundred. It was a hundred thousand. It was a hundred thousand dollars.

[Jamie]

And that's why now in, in a red wagon radio.

[Kassem]

It was in an attache, silver attache.

[Robbie]

I was like Floyd Mayweather.

[Jamie]

I came in your hotel room and I just jumped up. So long like dad used to call it his attache.

[Kassem]

Used to bring his attache case into the toilet. Yeah, these, these geoguessers. By the way, one guy, there was a photo of Richie Gordon Ramsay on a private jet. Okay. This, the biggest geoguessr in the world.

[Robbie]

Knew where in the air he was.

[Jamie]

This a career. This is so good.

[Kassem]

He's so good at it that he's become famous for geoguessing. So he saw this photo of course of Gordon Ramsay.

[Jamie]

Okay, you can hide Gordon Ramsay.

[Kassem]

He geoguessed from this photo that Gordon Ramsay was at Area 51.

[Jamie]

And it was right.

[Robbie]

No. Is he.

[Kassem]

He's never wrong. He's never. There is a video of it. It's on Tick tock. Yeah, Here you go. Play this. It's already liked by me, as you can see.

[Jamie]

Do we have to listen like this?

[Robbie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kassem]

You may need to restart it.

[F]

I saw this Gordon Ramsay post on Instagram and immediately knew something felt off because he's not actually at an airport. And I know that because if he was, it would have to be one of these three airports. But none of the mountains in the back of these airports are the same. And Will Gordon, I found you with these pixels that resemble the fence. These mountains in this arid landscape. There's only one option. Area 51 with a perfect match. Gordon, you can't hide.

[Robbie]

Wow.

[Kassem]

Pretty incredible.

[Jamie]

Give me more show.

[Kassem]

Go to.

[Robbie]

Do you like geoguessing?

[Kassem]

James, give her a couple of his geogueser bids. He's. This guy is unbelievable.

[Robbie]

This could be a new lane for you, Jamie. Maybe you're a geoguessr.

[Kassem]

Okay, okay.

[Jamie]

Calls people out.

[Robbie]

Yeah, I gotta know how to lean out like this guy, and I'm not.

[Jamie]

Telling you where it's from.

[F]

I will. It's an egg, cheese and avocado bagel from Bagel Market on 168 William street in New York City. You walked approximately 300ft north and ate it at this table.

[Kassem]

Maybe that time.

[Jamie]

His timing on his video is that.

[F]

First one was a further flight saying, can you guess where I'm going? Well, I don't need to guess because I know. You were on flight SWA4456. You left Orlando at 10:57am landed in Dallas, Texas at 12:10pm you took this photo approximately nine minutes into your flight right above Ridge Mayor, Florida, at approximately 23050ft elevation while sitting in seat 18F.

[Robbie]

You always bring the heat, Cass.

[Kassem]

They'd need to make a movie where Liam Neeson plays this dude.

[Robbie]

Yeah, I. I could see Jamie. I think we get Jamie in.

[Kassem]

You're really into it, Jamie.

[Robbie]

Jamie is.

[Kassem]

Talk to me about what you're feeling.

[Jamie]

I'm gonna start challenging this dude.

[Robbie]

You can play this to say, find me or you want to find.

[Jamie]

Find me.

[Robbie]

Find me. He's gonna be like, oh, your living room, your kitchen. Your living room, your kitchen. It's only two places.

[Jamie]

Your bed.

[Robbie]

Yeah. Where else?

[Kassem]

You're getting Botox there. There is a. You can go to the website geoguessr.com and you can play the game yourself and train yourself on how to be better. Well, you. Oh, that's Brussels, you know, and people will think you're learned and. But it's about identifying the.

[Jamie]

You need that training.

[Robbie]

I need it so bad. Everyone at the game show just laughed at me.

[Jamie]

No one laughed at you.

[Kassem]

You could get better at it, so.

[Robbie]

I don't want to, but, you know, there's some things you just don't. Some things you just don't know.

[Jamie]

Y.

[Kassem]

You don't have to know.

[Jamie]

Like the. Like the people that are non verbal, but they can do other things. You know that's right. His other senses are stronger.

[Kassem]

I hope you listen to that.

[Robbie]

I probably have one good sense somewhere.

[Kassem]

What do you think's your best sense?

[Robbie]

You think it's smell? For all the cigarettes I've smoked. For all the cigarettes I've smoked and drugs I've done. Taste is. I could taste.

[Kassem]

Oh, you're a taster.

[Robbie]

It's definitely not hearing anymore. It's definitely not sight anymore. I used to be my.

[Jamie]

Don't you remember when I. When I made you that cake and you're like, is there a little peppermint in here, I literally had put, like, a drop of pepper. Like, literally one drop of peppermint in the crust.

[Kassem]

Because anytime we go to a nice. Because part of what we all love to do is eat nice. We love to eat at nice restaurants. First thing he does when he takes a bite is immediately. You can see, like, the receptors in his tongue act faster than everything because he immediately knows if something is good or not good. It is taste.

[Robbie]

Yeah, it's taste.

[Kassem]

It's not geography. It's taste.

[Robbie]

It's got to be taste. I'm horrible with geography. But you know what? You don't have to do everything. That's what I've learned in this life. Right, guys? You don't have to be great at everything.

[Jamie]

No, it'd be nice if you are, but you don't have to.

[Kassem]

Just one thing.

[Robbie]

Just be.

[Jamie]

Pick one thing.

[Robbie]

I'm probably great at something.

[Jamie]

Everyone pick one thing before we go.

[Robbie]

That you could be great at or that you are. That you are great at deflecting.

[Jamie]

Why? Oh, that's what you're great at. Oh, I thought you told me I was deflecting by asking that question.

[Robbie]

Oh, I got mine. Being alone. I'm.

[Kassem]

You are. I can feel 0.01%.

[Robbie]

I am the. I am. Yeah. I am the. They would study me and be like, this is how you be alone.

[Kassem]

You are.

[Robbie]

First two weeks of COVID I was like, what's going on? I didn't even know. And then they're like, yeah, we haven't seen anyone. I'm like, yeah, so, dude, when I lived in Vegas, there were times where, like, I would just be, like, in a dark place. I just. I wouldn't even. I'm like, yeah, it's been eight days since you've been outside. I'm like, I don't even know.

[Kassem]

Yeah, you are great at that. But. But you're also great at being with your buds.

[Robbie]

Yeah, well, that was the other one. I'm great at being alone. Great at being a friend.

[Jamie]

Yep.

[Kassem]

You are a loyal.

[Robbie]

Oh, loyal. Yeah.

[Kassem]

10 grand in a card, 25 grand.

[Robbie]

When you're. When you're in the mafia, you gotta be loyal. If there's one thing, we are in a duffel. What's. What's your. What are you great at? Oh, she's going alphabetically. Just go give us something with an.

[Kassem]

A. I mean, take it easy, dude.

[Robbie]

Game shows.

[Jamie]

I think I'm really good at seeing the good in people.

[Robbie]

Yes.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Like, spotting what somebody brings to the value that somebody has and what they bring to the world. Like I feel an urge always to point it out to people because I like it to almost to an annoying point where like, I wish I could shut up, but like, I like have to tell people what I see that they bring to the world.

[Kassem]

Yeah. You were always great at that on the pod. You were the counterbalance to me and Rob sort of cynicism.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Well, we would be making fun of someone. You always saw the good. I mean, you are a net positive to the world.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Whereas I don't necessarily feel.

[Robbie]

I don't think even combined I would.

[Jamie]

Be nothing without either of you. So.

[Robbie]

Wow.

[Kassem]

For every one of you, there's got to be two of us.

[Jamie]

Yeah. That's why this works.

[Robbie]

Yeah.

[Kassem]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Look at this.

[Kassem]

Wow.

[Robbie]

Well, on that note.

[Kassem]

On that note.

[Jamie]

Electron, Neutron. Protron. Adams.

[Robbie]

Po. Tron, I think you said, which is great. Yeah. That's the new sense of Louisiana. Yeah, we are. Thank you so much for having us.

[Jamie]

Here, being on the pod, for setting up this. This, you know.

[Kassem]

Thanks, Richie. Thanks, John. Big shout out to seven EIs for letting George Bryce.

[Robbie]

And we have another guest coming on the other episode. Who's it going to be? You'll have to wait till next week.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah. We have to change. It's obvious we're doing this. This the same.

[Robbie]

No, we don't have to change. Don't Jame. Don't ever change, Cass.

[Jamie]

I will.

[Robbie]

You are one of my favorite. I've. I've met. How many people do you think we've met in our lives? Tens of thousands. What's a number there?

[Jamie]

I would say six to 4,000 people.

[Robbie]

No, way more.

[Jamie]

When you say met, do you mean like you have like hang with them?

[Robbie]

Oh, that's a good question. But just. Just even being around the next spot. Yeah, but I'm just saying out of the thousands and thousands of people, if you're in the.

[Jamie]

You two are my. You two are in my top 10.

[Robbie]

Yes.

[Kassem]

I could be anywhere with you guys and it would be a party.

[Robbie]

Always the best.

[Jamie]

No Crash. No.

[Robbie]

And you proved it at your wedding. Who'd he come hang with? He proved it. We still have to prove it.

[Jamie]

It meant a lot to me, actually.

[Kassem]

Yeah, it meant a lot to me that you guys came and it meant a lot to my aunt.

[Jamie]

Yes, we know.

[Robbie]

Shout out. Annie G. His mom. What's your aunt's name?

[Kassem]

Amal.

[Robbie]

Shout out. Shout out. Amal. And we will see you guys next week.

[Kassem]

See ya.

[Robbie]

Not today.