Some Birds Tried To Whack Rob | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Episode Summary: "Some Birds Tried To Whack Rob" | Not Today, Pal

Release Date: June 12, 2025

In this lively episode of "Not Today, Pal", hosts Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler dive into a variety of humorous and engaging topics, showcasing their contrasting personalities and deep friendship. From unexpected bird encounters to nostalgic high school tales, the duo delivers an entertaining blend of anecdotes, insightful discussions, and playful banter.

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1. Anti-Bird Sentiments and Unexpected Encounters

The episode kicks off with Jamie recounting a bewildering incident where she was attacked by a bird while picking up food from a restaurant. The conversation quickly spirals into their shared disdain for birds, particularly the relentless grackles.

• Jamie (03:20): "Attacked, like kamikaze. Dive in at my head."

• Christina (04:05): "This is the guy who came after me."

The hosts humorously debate the merits of owning property versus sharing space with aggressive avian neighbors, highlighting the lengths they've gone to "block" birds from their patios, including kids squirting them with water guns.

• Jamie (05:28): "Every April and May, those things... trying to make a nest."

The segment underscores their "anti bird" stance, blending frustration with comedic relief as they navigate their daily battles with feathery foes.

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2. Funerals and Corpse Experimentation

Transitioning from birds to more macabre topics, the hosts discuss a news report about Capitol Mortuary Services accused of abusing corpses for experiments.

• Reporter (09:17): "Fifty-three-year-old Aaron Ali... experimenting on severed arms."

Christina expresses her frustration with the reporter's dull delivery, prompting a lively exchange about the ethical implications of such actions.

• Jamie (10:40): "They were stealing the bodies to do their own little experiments."

The conversation touches on themes of trust in funeral services and the macabre curiosity surrounding post-mortem experiments, all while maintaining a humorous tone.

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3. Sex and the City Cast Dynamics

The hosts shift gears to discuss the turbulent relationships within the "Sex and the City" cast, focusing on apparent beef between Kim Cattrall and Sarah Jessica Parker.

• Christina (12:02): "They have beef... what if we're anti birds too?"

• Jamie (13:22): "I love this for her."

They delve into interviews where Kim Cattrall shared quirky personal anecdotes, leading to a playful debate about the authenticity of cast relationships.

• Jamie (13:54): "Maybe they did."

The segment highlights the complex dynamics of long-running TV shows and the differences between on-screen camaraderie and off-screen tensions.

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4. The Furry Community and School Amenities

Exploring subcultures, Jamie and Christina tackle the topic of furries in schools, particularly the rumors of litter boxes being provided for students who identify as furries.

• Christina (31:13): "Were giving students who identified as furries litter boxes..."

• Jamie (32:13): "But I'm not pooping in a litter box in the bathroom."

The hosts humorously speculate on how to initiate changes in their own spaces to accommodate furries, complete with costume ideas and playful banter about furry conventions like BronyCon.

• Christina (32:55): "Can you look up different furry costumes?"

This segment blends social commentary with lighthearted humor, showcasing their ability to discuss niche topics engagingly.

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5. Nostalgic High School Memories

Reflecting on their past, Jamie, Christina, and their colleagues share high school experiences, focusing on roles like student body president and the social dynamics of their formative years.

• Cougar (24:07): "I was student body president... but I got in trouble sometimes."

• Jamie (26:01): "Yeah, I got kicked out because I didn't go to the meetings."

The conversation reveals their different approaches to leadership and responsibility, interspersed with humorous admissions about lateness and school antics.

• Chad (21:54): "No, she's always late."

They also touch upon the topic of weed usage in high school, with Jamie sharing her personal aversion to it.

• Jamie (26:46): "I just didn't like the feeling of being out of control."

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6. Memory Lane: Vintage SNL Skit

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts revisit a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Christina from 1998, celebrating her history in comedy.

• Christina (34:24): "I got a check yesterday for 9 cents for a Saturday Night Live skit that I did."

They watch the skit, sharing laughs over younger versions of themselves and reminiscing about their early days in the entertainment industry.

• Jamie (35:09): "You look at you out there with a bunch of legends."

This nostalgic segment serves as a heartwarming closure, highlighting their longstanding friendship and journey in the world of comedy.

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Conclusion

In "Some Birds Tried To Whack Rob," Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler expertly navigate a range of topics, from everyday annoyances like aggressive birds to unexpected news stories and personal anecdotes. Their chemistry and contrasting viewpoints provide an engaging listening experience, making it a memorable episode for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jamie (03:30): "You were putting it out into the universe."

• Christina (04:54): "They are being anti-bird pod. I think we have to go in."

• Jamie (09:45): "They were stealing the bodies to do their own little experiments."

• Christina (13:05): "Maybe they're anti birds too, and this was his way to push out the message."

• Jamie (26:02): "Secretary."

• Christina (34:24): "Did you watch it?"

• Jamie (35:21): "You look at you out there with a bunch of legends."

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This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions and providing engaging insights for listeners.

Transcript

[Jamie]

Hey guys, I wanted to take a quick second to talk to you about a new podcast premiering at Tribeca film festival on June 13 that I am going to be moderating a panel for. And guess who's going to be up on stage with me? One of our favorite people, Sebastian Maniscalco, who was a guest on not today Pal last year. You've heard of a Ponzi scheme? I assume the term Ponzi scheme was originated by Charles Ponzi, a a broke immigrant in Boston who became one of the richest, most infamous men in America in just nine months. This guy swindled today's equivalent of a quarter billion dollars from thousands of investors and upended the world of finance in the process. The series is called Easy Money. The Charles Ponzi Story. It's an eight episode podcast from Apple and Ill Media. Sebastian Maniscalco is the voice of Charles Ponzi. We're going to be premiering it live on June 13th at 5pm Eastern Standard Time. So if you want to buy tickets, go to tribecafilm.com easy money. That's tribecafilm.com Easy Money and use promo code Tribeca10D. That's the number 10 and the letter D like David. All one word for a discount. Tickets are selling fast, so hurry up and get yours now and I hope to see you there. Not today.

[Christina]

So much to talk to you about. Sometimes I don't even know where to start.

[Jamie]

You riding high from that catan win?

[Christina]

Yeah, I beach in catan. I got you were though.

[Jamie]

Do you use this when you gamble? Because so you were so calm and then you would look at what number you wanted to roll and you would roll the dice and nine times out of 10, it would be the number that you wanted.

[Christina]

I was putting it out into the universe.

[Jamie]

I've never seen it anything like that in my life. It's why I was so silent. Not just because I was losing, but I was like, what I need to learn this skill.

[Christina]

You got to put it out into the universe. You got to ask you.

[Jamie]

If you don't ask, do it in like a very. But it's, it's the, the vibe in which you're putting it out that's making it happen. You need to charge bottle that or charge money for that because you would be a billionaire. Yeah, that was amazing.

[Christina]

Well, speaking of voodoo, what do you got around your neck? What is, what is this new necklace?

[Jamie]

This is a. This is a necklace that has a prayer in it that somebody gave me a really, really long time ago. And When I first started dating Cutter, I gave it to him, and he wore it every day when he played baseball, and he had an amazing year. So this is kind of a necklace that him and I pass back and forth to each other when we're just feeling like we. A little. Like, I don't know, juice. Like a little, you know. Yeah. So that's what. That's what you're bringing up on.

[Christina]

We have.

[Jamie]

There's no voodoo. Well, maybe there is.

[Christina]

I don't know. What is. What is the opposite of serendipity? Can you. Can you look that up, Chad, with the opposite of serendipity?

[Jamie]

Bad luck.

[Christina]

Is it bad luck? Because I. We had some of that recently. I. So I was walking into a place, into a restaurant to pick up my food, and I got attacked by a bird.

[Jamie]

Explain. Attack.

[Christina]

Attacked, like kamikaze. Dive in at my head. Jamie, I'm telling you, this was.

[Jamie]

You were like full beak pecked at.

[Christina]

I don't know if the Yankee hat looked like some sort of net. I don't know what was going on. But then I did realize that they were all up in this tree squawking like crazy. I don't know if some, like, another crow hurt or they were like crows, but the, like, Austin crow, you know that they're called something else. Screechers or whatever. Yeah, the grackles.

[Jamie]

A grackle.

[Christina]

Kamikaze. Did it hurt into my head. I mean, it so took you out.

[Jamie]

Of feathers in your face, everything.

[Christina]

No, but here's what's great. It actually makes you so present. Like, like, you know, you're always thinking about something else or whatever. When this bird hits you, there's nothing in the world but this bird.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Like. And you're under attack. I was fully under attack. Yeah. This is the guy who. Who came after me.

[Jamie]

Oh, those are nasty looking.

[Christina]

Nasty. This thing is nasty. And it wasn't just like.

[Jamie]

So what Just came down. Barrel down.

[Christina]

And it was. And then like, like, like, like, it was like. I don't know if it was like, pattern. You can't see because you're like, what the. It was. And. And here's the reason it's the opposite of serendipity, because. So now I walk in, I get my food, I walk out, I look up, I see a camera on the outside, and I go, we're about to have the best podcast of all time.

[Jamie]

Did you get it?

[Christina]

So we have a friend who works at this restaurant. I reach out to the restaurant and I go, I need that footage. I Told them exactly what time it was the day this. They come back and they go, that camera is not recording. And I go, then what the fuck is it there for?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Just to make people nervous.

[Christina]

I don't know. What do you put? That's such an awesome. By the way.

[Jamie]

By the way. I thought you were about to reveal the video and I was thinking in my head, wow. He was so. He played that so well. I did not see this coming.

[Christina]

I would have loved. I would have loved nothing more.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Christina]

But now that I don't have the video, it's on for life with me and birds. For life.

[Jamie]

I understand.

[Christina]

Yeah. I don't care if it's the same type of bird. I never. I never was.

[Jamie]

You saw what they're. They're ripping up my patio roof.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Trying to make a nest.

[Christina]

We might have to.

[Jamie]

Every April and May, those things, every day, we have to. We have to build, like weird things to try to block them. My kids, Cutter was squirting them with water guns.

[Christina]

People always say, we have a platform. What do we use it for? I think we're anti bird.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

I think we're the anti bird pod. I think we have to go in.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Oh, wow. We have support from the Boo.

[Christina]

Some bird haters back there.

[Chad]

Yeah, birds, bro.

[Jamie]

There we go.

[Chad]

I didn't know dinosaurs ain't doing shit.

[Christina]

Wow. Okay.

[Jamie]

That's what they are.

[Christina]

Weak ass dinosaurs. But they.

[Jamie]

Wait, Chad, you said survivors.

[Cougar]

I like birds.

[Christina]

Yeah, of course.

[Jamie]

Yeah. But like, in what way?

[Cougar]

In. In like the way that they're. I don't know. They don't bug me. They're pleasant.

[Christina]

If you got attacked by one.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Would it change?

[Jamie]

Listen to this story.

[Cougar]

If I got attacked by one, I would be annoyed with that particular bird. But not all birds. No. I wouldn't take it out on every single one.

[Christina]

I think I'm go, cougar, you clapped.

[Aaron]

Hashtag not all birds.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Christina]

I just think they're like the anti bird.

[Jamie]

I just feel like I've seen many videos of birds just snapping on people. Do you know what I mean? Like, they're like, they seem cute and they're chill and then they, you know when they like, just turn and like, charge at you? I do not want to see a large bird charging at me.

[Christina]

Everyone's had the, like at the beach, seagulls getting a little too rowdy. You know, that thing. But also for some reason at the beach, I'm like, the seagulls. This is their area. Like you. I kind of give it to them. I'm like, I'm not here a lot. They are. I give it to them in the streets. I'm. I'm. The streets are mine.

[Jamie]

My house is mine.

[Christina]

I know. Yeah. You can't.

[Jamie]

Wow. Birds.

[Christina]

Birds. Yeah, I think that's. Can. Can we put in the title? Oh, oh, the title of this episode. Birds.

[Jamie]

Fabio.

[Christina]

Yeah. You've seen this, right? Jamie?

[Jamie]

No.

[Christina]

Oh, my God. Make it full screen. Wait, I don't want Jamie to see the title.

[Jamie]

He's going on a roller coaster.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jamie]

Fabio.

[Christina]

Yeah. You think he's so good looking he might actually fuck a bird. That's not what's about to happen.

[Jamie]

Not what I was thinking.

[Christina]

Oh, well, that's what I thought. What happened? Jaime, wait.

[Jamie]

Fabio is so bloody and everyone looks terrified. What? This is. This was fake.

[Christina]

He know he hit a bird.

[Jamie]

Of all places for that bird to hit on that roller coaster. They hit Fabio in the nose.

[Christina]

Yeah, right in the face. Traumatized like it was a miracle.

[Jamie]

But it wasn't a freak accident and.

[Christina]

It'S going to happen again. And, you know, I cannot live with.

[Jamie]

My conscience know then the ride is still running and maybe, you know, a person or even a child can be killed.

[Christina]

Wow. He's.

[Jamie]

Is that. That's the bird. The blood of the bird.

[Christina]

You get looks or you get the brain. You know, I think, yeah, well, God is fair.

[Jamie]

But is that the blood of the bird?

[Christina]

It could be both. It could be a little of both. But yeah, the bird's dead.

[Jamie]

I don't see a single feather again. There's no feathers. There's no. I call bullshit, Fabio. I think he planned this shit.

[Christina]

Wow.

[Jamie]

Yep. I think this because Fabio needed some heat.

[Christina]

Maybe he's anti birds too, and this was his way to push out the message.

[Jamie]

Wow, fuck Fabio, fuck birds, fuck Fabio.

[Christina]

Or. Or do we get Fabio on and. And go even harder on Fabio?

[Jamie]

We got a seat right here for. I'll even sit on this side.

[Christina]

Oh, you want to sit with Fabio?

[Jamie]

I stopped on this side after Howie, but I'll come back over here for you.

[Christina]

Wow.

[Jamie]

The only cutter gets me on this side now. You too, Fabio, if you will tell us the truth about the bird. I call.

[Christina]

But see, now I.

[Jamie]

Okay, funerals, Cap. Fabio hitting bird, Cap.

[Christina]

Speaking of funerals, Cap, Chad, I got something for you on the funerals, cap. On the funerals.

[Reporter]

Capitol mortuary services, or CMS, and 53 year old Aaron Ali, the head of Med to market a medical training facility, are accused of abusing a corpse by experimenting on severed arms. Police were tipped off by a Texas Funeral Services Commission investigator who said Bowie was fraudulently using a former embalmer's name for death certificates and injecting formaldehyde into severed arms to see the effects over time. APD says there was a project thread called Freedom Art Experiment Thread showed materials.

[Christina]

Including photos of severed arms and discussions on tissue decomposition. You can't even die anymore, you know? And the use of materials like fishing line to suture the specimens.

[Reporter]

Police also looking into allegations that Bowie was using her status as a real estate agent to have families list their homes with her to pay for funeral expenses. Plus, they're investigating claims of employees being told to dispose of body fluids in unapproved places. Bowie told police about 15 bodies were experimented on with the permission of Med to market. Ali says they contracted with CMS for transport and cremation and told police it was embalming, not experimenting. The Texas State Funeral Commission says CMS was not approved to be an anatomical facility.

[Christina]

We could stop it now.

[Jamie]

They were stealing the bodies to do their own little experiments. Science experiments.

[Christina]

By the way, this reporter is boring. She's droning on. It's like, get to the point. Just hit us with 30 seconds. Like, these guys are taking 15 bodies and shoving them full of. They're experimenting, but. But also the reason why I specifically clip this one. This is Austin, Texas. Yeah.

[Jamie]

You know, I really did think they were going to say that they were doing more like, up to the bodies.

[Christina]

Well, we don't know what they were doing. You know, they were doing their own.

[Jamie]

Kind of just arms.

[Christina]

Who knows?

[Jamie]

A lot of severed arms.

[Christina]

Well, that's all they know for now. But I think. I think they were doing crazy shit with the whole. Maybe they only found the arms. Well, yeah, there are moments like, you know, we've talked about you smoking weed on this show and, like, possibly doing an episode stoned. This is one where I think it would be the best if you were. But we have to just. We have to just show the clip. So we. We haven't surprisingly, you know, we've done hundreds of episodes of podcasts between this one. Our other one, we haven't talked about Sex in the City a lot, but we were around those people. Yeah, a good bunch. And so on YMH recently, they played, I guess, Kim Cattrall. They were doing an interview with her and they had beef. Right. Like the Sex and the City women, like Sarah Parker. Kim.

[Jamie]

I think that's what they like.

[Christina]

I think Kim Cattrall has talked about that. Oh, can you look that up. Kim Cattrall talk. Sarah Jessica Parker. Beef. Yeah, they.

[Aaron]

I think that's why she wasn't in the revival.

[Christina]

Yeah, I think they full on TV show. Yeah. I think they've admitted like, yeah, there was beef and there were problems.

[Jamie]

That makes me so sad.

[Christina]

Right. And what I was gonna say is she was always very kind, so nice, very sweet, so cool.

[Jamie]

All of them were.

[Christina]

Oh, they were all always great. But Kim Cattrall, like I was always like, oh, she's cool. School. Then you see this video and I guess she did an interview with somebody and she's like, well, you know, I. I like to scat while my husband plays a stand up bass. And she's like, we do it in our house, just the two of us, blah blah, blah. And they're like, hey, can we get a look at that? And they say, yeah, sure, come on in. And here's I read poetry and sonnets.

[Jamie]

And he plays the upright bass. Well, he bit all the he dogs and winked at all the she dogs. The town never knew such a hullabaloo as that little dog raised. Till the end of that day. I feel like I'm watching a couple on like in like a Christopher Guest movie. Do you know what I mean? Like, this is like the new pause.

[Christina]

That I think somebody said she's like Jan from the office, which is like.

[Jamie]

Such a good one.

[Christina]

But it's. It's.

[Jamie]

Wow. So what?

[Christina]

Yeah, that's the. That's the part that gets real love. Yeah. What do you think of this? You know, I wish you were stoned for this. By the way.

[Jamie]

Kim Cattrall in mannequin. Like that. That's that Kim Cattrall. You know what I mean? Like this make. That makes sense to me. Wow.

[Christina]

Because when they were on ymh, I was watching it and they were goofing on.

[Jamie]

I love this for her.

[Christina]

I was like, how great would it be if actually Kim Cattrall and her husband was like, let's with people and say we like scatter boudad.

[Jamie]

Maybe they did.

[Christina]

I know. That's what I'm saying.

[Jamie]

Is Kim Cattrall and her husband still together?

[Christina]

They.

[Jamie]

Wow. Cutter, let's try this. Let's try this.

[Christina]

Jamie, can we recreate this with you and Cutter? I. This would be my favorite. This would be my favorite.

[Jamie]

I don't know if he'd be down, but if he's not, then you have to do it.

[Christina]

Okay. Yeah, I would be down. I'll play that. But where are we gonna get a stand up Base.

[Jamie]

I'm sure someone here could find one. They got me a monkey.

[Christina]

Yeah, that's true. You know, we need a stand up.

[Jamie]

Are they still married?

[Cougar]

It doesn't look like it.

[Jamie]

Oh, Rip.

[Christina]

With that kind of chemistry. I can't believe.

[Jamie]

God, do I even believe in love anymore?

[Christina]

Yeah, well, Jamie can. Do you think that. How many times do you think you. Because you're very good at memorizing lines. How many times do you think you'd have to watch that to memorize that? Or would you want to make up your own scatton?

[Jamie]

Oh, no, I would want to quote it word for word. I don't know, three or four times. I could watch it and get it down.

[Christina]

You think so? Wait, let's.

[Jamie]

Let's. If I watch. No, if I wrote it down and then saw it on paper and then watched it a few times, then yeah.

[Christina]

Okay, I think, I think. Oh, man. You know what we should do? I hate dressing up for Halloween. But man, I would just.

[Jamie]

And like the, the. Can you imagine if somebody actually would recognize us as dressed like that?

[Christina]

Yeah, that would be like, oh my God, you're Kim Cattrall's husband. I'm like, yeah. Do you know you have to carry.

[Cougar]

A stand up bass round all night?

[Christina]

Ex husband. Yeah, I would get. I would get a. Like, oh, no, they're probably all hollow.

[Jamie]

I definitely have that outfit.

[Christina]

Oh my God. This would be.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I love this for us.

[Christina]

And you know what? We should.

[Jamie]

We should just keep trying to just recreate videos of like weird duos. Like.

[Christina]

Yeah, that could be our next thing. Also, I think you should try and do a version of our theme song. But like that. Or I'll do it. I'll play the bass and you can be like, not today, you know?

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Christina]

I think we do it. I think that's a. Guys, I gotta say, people are gonna be very surprised. When I went to Chubby's, I people, you know, normally I only buy black clothing or very dark clothing. But when I went to Chubby's, they were willing to send me a few pair and I thought, let me go a little crazy. So I got some bright colors. I think it's good for the summer. And speaking of summer, Summer's here. Time to let the dogs out. And by dogs, we mean your legs. Chubby's line swim collection is built for all day comfort with quick dry stretch fabric and a liner that actually works. No chafing, no soggy, but no mesh disasters. And Chubby's biggest sale of the year is on which means $45 bottoms, both shorts and swim trunks and up to 65% off select gear. It's the perfect time to donate your decade old shorts and and refresh your drawer. Give your legs the summer they deserve. So don't wait for a very limited time. Shop Chubby's biggest sale of the year for $45 shorts and up to 65% off select gear. Hit up Chubbyshorts.com and grab your favorite before they're gone. Miss the sale. Don't sweat it. Use our exclusive code not today for 20% off. Support the show, let them know we sent you when the survey asks and get ready to turn some heads. So summer's here. Dress like it in chubbies.

[Jamie]

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[Christina]

Okay, I have another. I have a photo for you to look at. Sometimes I, I get all these things.

[Jamie]

A lot of things today.

[Christina]

That's the thing. Sometimes I get the things backed up and I'm like, all right, we need to show there is a photo of an animal and I want to know do you think this is real or AI, do you think this is a real animal?

[Jamie]

No. No, it probably is because that's why you're asking me. Because that would definitely look like if you immediately think you'd say AI, very good. That's a real animal.

[Christina]

What do you think? If I told you you've seen this.

[Jamie]

Animal before, it's a black bear.

[Christina]

It's a polar bear without its fur. This is what a polar bear looks like. Isn't that fucking insane?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

If they found this on, like, an island or like, another planet or something, it would be the biggest news in the world.

[Jamie]

This looks like it's from Avatar.

[Christina]

Yeah, this looks like.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Christina]

When I saw this, I was like, oh, this is clearly AI and they're like.

[Jamie]

So they took all the hair off to show this or was there?

[Christina]

I don't know if it's one of those. It's got a condition where it doesn't grow the hair if it's old and lost its hair or whatever. But he seems like he's in a. A zoo because most polar bears don't have brick walls. So. Yeah. I don't know if there was something wrong with him or whatever, but, man, knowing that, that's, like, walking around.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Among us.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Makes you think.

[Jamie]

Oh, yeah. Imagine what a bird looks like without its feathers.

[Christina]

Oh, nasty. I might have one in my living room up on the wall soon, so let's do it. You could figure it out.

[Jamie]

I'm ready to call the embalmer.

[Christina]

I want to ask the booth boys. We've never talked about your guys, like, work habits. Like, you know, you guys have worked here for years. Is there someone who's always early? Is there someone who's always late? Like, what are. What do you feel like people around here are known for?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cougar]

Like work or to events.

[Chad]

No, she's always late.

[Christina]

I won't say it.

[Jamie]

Me?

[Christina]

No, of course not.

[Aaron]

You.

[Christina]

I would say that I pointed at you. No, I mean, who do you think might always be late around here?

[Jamie]

Any.

[Christina]

I didn't say it. But is that the right answer?

[Cougar]

That's a one of the correct answers. But there's. There's a few.

[Jamie]

There's a few.

[Cougar]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Would any surprise us?

[Christina]

A ny.

[Cougar]

No, I used. Okay, so one of our editors, Gamba, I used to, like, track. I kept a log of his, like, minutes late for, like, three months straight.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God.

[Cougar]

Because he was always, like, I don't know, five to 10 late. And I just added them up and had him come into my office. I was like, gamba, we need to talk. Showed him the number. He hated it.

[Jamie]

You've been late 872 times.

[Christina]

Is there anyone who's always early?

[Chad]

The. The social team's pretty early. Usually they're, like, the first ones here.

[Jamie]

So that makes sense.

[Christina]

Respect the ladies. Yeah.

[Chad]

And Tyler, he's on that team.

[Christina]

And Tyler, of course. Yeah.

[Cougar]

Cougar.

[Christina]

Oh, you're a late guy, Cougar. Yeah, he's a gambler. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're checking those. What's profitable to possibly put in a bed on your way profitable?

[Aaron]

The odds, you know, on me showing up early, you know.

[Jamie]

So let me ask you something, Cougar. When you're late, do you give a. Or are you just. Or are you, like, str. Like, are you stressing? Like, I feel bad I'm late. Or you're like, ah, that's fine. I'll be there. When I'm there, they'll be.

[Aaron]

My body language says I don't care, but inside I think I am.

[Jamie]

Okay. That's why I'm asking. I do feel bad. You stress a lot. You stress out about it a little bit. Yeah.

[Christina]

Oh, here's one. Here's a good one. Chad, who do you think cares the least when they're late?

[Cougar]

Cares the least?

[Christina]

Yeah. Who's like, yeah, I'm late. So what?

[Cougar]

Yeah. Either Gomber or any. I mean, I can't speak for them. Who feels in which they walk.

[Christina]

Who seems like they actually feel bad?

[Jamie]

Although Cougar just said he seems super calm and chill about it, but he's not.

[Cougar]

Yeah. It can be deceiving.

[Jamie]

Do you apologize? Cuz I feel like if you apologize, that's. It's all good. Right?

[Christina]

Who would he apologize to, though?

[Aaron]

To the supervisor.

[Jamie]

Who's the supervisor? Solo's the supervisor.

[Christina]

Wow. The young prince.

[Jamie]

How. How is he as a supervisor? He's good.

[Christina]

You gotta talk it to the mic.

[Chad]

He's good.

[Cougar]

He's good.

[Christina]

Super.

[Jamie]

Are you saying this because you're scared or you mean.

[Chad]

No, I'm not scared.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Chad]

You know, he's a good supervisor.

[Christina]

You know, would be awesome. Have ever. You have any of you ever bet on horses? Like, horse racing? Yes. So you do, like, the trifecta. And who's gonna. What we do is we don't tell anyone that we're doing this on the day we do it. And then we put in, like, horse racing style. Who's gonna get to the office first? And we get. And we got the odds, but you do them like a trifecta.

[Jamie]

Like, can I watch the security camera for like, two or three days?

[Christina]

You could study our horses.

[Jamie]

Yeah, Yeah. I want to watch some practice rounds.

[Cougar]

Yeah, I have some history of, like, logging that kind of information, so I could.

[Christina]

Oh, you'd be good. Yeah. We might have to. We might have to work. I love that. All right. The other Thing I want to know, Booth boy wise, what were you guys? No, because I've asked Jamie before, like, what were you known for in high school? Like, what were you guys known for in high school? Like, most likely to. Did you ever do any of that? Or, like, if your friends were like, oh, they're definitely this. Like, you were this guy.

[Cougar]

I guess mine was interesting because, like, I was student body president. I did kind of a lot of stuff, but also I was around a whole lot. Like, I would skip school to go get high or, you know, I got in trouble sometimes. So I don't really know. It's kind of a. Wow.

[Jamie]

Such a cool guy, Chad, you know, you just, like.

[Cougar]

I don't know.

[Jamie]

You tried it all on. I love that more.

[Cougar]

Maybe more confusing to people.

[Jamie]

No, I like it.

[Christina]

Yeah. Living in New York City, I was never confused by people until I spent, like, a year in California. And then you're just confused by so many people. It's like, you. You look like this. Like, our friend Cassim, it's like he presents as a nerd, and then he drives, like, a Porsche, and he was smoking cigarettes, and he was talking about aliens. I'm like, who the are you? Like, I. You. You can't get a grant. We're in New York. It's like you're this, like, you know, you're this guy.

[Jamie]

Like, oh, you're a Italian guy at the gym.

[Christina]

You're a Irish guy at the bar. You're. You just kind of were these things.

[Jamie]

That's why we love New York very. It's very simple to understand people.

[Christina]

You can really let your guard down, you know? And in fucking L. A, they're throwing you curveballs left and right. You don't know what's going on.

[Jamie]

It's very true. Wow.

[Christina]

What. By the way, as somebody who barely went to high school, when you say student body president, like, this is going to sound retarded, but I've heard of that in movies, but I literally don't know what that means.

[Cougar]

You basically kind of head the student council, and, I don't know, it's sort of like a figurehead thing. I mean, you'll organize events with the rest of the student council and just kind of represent the student body in terms of what they might want. So it's.

[Reporter]

I don't know.

[Jamie]

Did anyone ever come to you and be like, I have a complaint. Will you take this to the principal?

[Cougar]

I don't remember.

[Jamie]

No, it's just bullshit. It's student. Yeah, it's.

[Cougar]

So they're only 60 people in my class, so.

[Jamie]

I told you I was the only person ever be impeached from student council in my high school.

[Christina]

Did you?

[Jamie]

Yeah, I didn't show up to the meeting.

[Christina]

You know what? I could never be why I never went for student body. Because Chad just explained that I still have no idea what he was talking about.

[Chad]

Basically. Basically it's a bunch of nerds who think they're better than everyone else.

[Jamie]

Exactly.

[Christina]

And they.

[Cougar]

It's more of a popularity content.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Chad]

No, because everyone else hated Asbury. Everyone at my school, like all those guys are gay.

[Cougar]

You know, it was a little different in like small town Nebraska.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it was a little different in my school too.

[Christina]

So wait, you got impeached?

[Jamie]

Yeah, I got kicked out.

[Christina]

Were you like the president?

[Jamie]

Secretary.

[Christina]

How do you lose the job as secretary?

[Jamie]

Because I didn't go to the meetings.

[Christina]

Ah. What were you doing? What cool people were doing. Right? You were driving around in cars with boys and weed and.

[Jamie]

No, did not smoke weed in high school. But driving around in cars with boys doing what?

[Christina]

Like what would you.

[Jamie]

Listening to music, going to people's houses, making out.

[Christina]

See, my thing is like if you're not smoking weed in high school, what the fuck are you doing with all your time? All we were in like junior high, it was like if we're skipping class for what? To go smoke eight blunts?

[Jamie]

No, just to hang out. Other kids smoked weed for sure, but I just hung out.

[Christina]

So how old were you the first time you tried weed? Do you remember?

[Jamie]

Maybe 19, 20.

[Christina]

Hated it.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I just didn't like the feeling. I've never liked the feeling of being out of control. I think later in life when, when I was in my 30s, it was legal in California. It was like a. Because I don't drink. It was a way. Honestly once I had kids for me to just like calm my nervous system down. So it's never been something to be like get up and get like, you know, whatever. Weed has actually not really been that for me. It's only been like a. Like let it all go. So in high school I was not needing that. And I didn't like feeling like out of control.

[Christina]

What else are you guys known for? In high school.

[Aaron]

I was voted most likely to win an Oscar. Haven't done that yet, but wow.

[Christina]

Behind the camera or in front of the camera?

[Aaron]

I don't know, they didn't say. Just in general, just what do you.

[Christina]

Think the vibe they had was? The impressions or like a behind the camera guy?

[Aaron]

Probably in front.

[Jamie]

I Would say, okay, yeah, the impressions is a. Is a big thing.

[Aaron]

Yeah, for sure. That's. That's how I also was friends with like all the different groups of people. Like, you know, the. Yeah, the furries, the cool people, the sports people, whatnot.

[Christina]

So where did you go to school?

[Aaron]

I went to a place called the science academy. So it was a school of nerds. So there was cool nerds and then there was nerd nerds.

[Cougar]

You had furries in high school.

[Christina]

That's what. That's why I asked.

[Jamie]

Yeah, it's a furry.

[Chad]

A furry is a person that likes to wear animal costumes. But they like, that's like their identity. Like, that's who they are. They are a dog. They are like these different.

[Jamie]

Are you for real?

[Aaron]

They're fursonas, as they call them.

[Chad]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Oh, this is my fursona.

[Chad]

Yeah, I like that genres. They got like dogs. They do like horses and dinosaurs and whatnot. Dragons.

[Cougar]

It's pretty deep. Think there's like a kink aspect to some of it.

[Jamie]

The way every day they dress like this.

[Christina]

It's their life.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I mean, sometimes they wouldn't be like, they wouldn't wear these elaborate costumes. They would just wear like the tails, the ears, you know, simple stuff.

[Cougar]

But Jamie, you've never seen like some young person at like a 711 with a tail coming out of there.

[Christina]

I've never seen that.

[Chad]

We got to get you around everywhere. We got to get you in front of.

[Aaron]

Yeah, this is definitely a lane that you could definitely go down.

[Jamie]

What if I'm a furry?

[Christina]

We could get a furry. The way that I dress. The way that I dress. I kind of have it for song.

[Jamie]

If you just like if you took your. If you took your hood down and just had two little furry ears peeking out of your hat, I'll do it. It wouldn't be that odd.

[Christina]

Yeah. I kind of have a first song.

[Jamie]

Should we do episode as furries?

[Christina]

I'm always in sweatpants and this hoodie.

[Jamie]

Should we be furries for an episode?

[Christina]

See, I would rather just have furries on. I would rather have furries speak to like the president of the furries. The student body.

[Jamie]

Student body president of the furries.

[Christina]

Yeah. Do you. Do you have. Can you find like a short of a furry, like a serious furry that we could watch and show Jamie what. What it's all about.

[Jamie]

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[Christina]

Maybe you.

[Reporter]

Heard the rumor that some high schools.

[Christina]

In the United States were giving students who identified as furries litter boxes to use instead of normal toilets.

[Jamie]

And so yesterday I heard not in Texas palace in our town has a.

[Christina]

In one of the unisex bathrooms a litter box to communicate. Come on. When does it stop? The question is why? Can you pause this dude? Can one of you guys start to identify as a furry and request a litter box in the bathroom here and not stop until we get it? I would love to walk to the bathroom here and there's just a giant in a litter box.

[Jamie]

Oh my God.

[Cougar]

I'll put Chris on it.

[Christina]

Yeah, somebody's got. Or maybe, maybe because people don't really listen to us, but they listen to Jamie. We should have Jamie tell Tom and Christina that she's identifying as a furry and needs a litter box in the bathroom because they'll listen to her with us. They'll just fucking blow us off.

[Jamie]

Okay, you have to help me pick out my furry.

[Christina]

What?

[Jamie]

But I'm not pooping in a litter box in the bathroom.

[Christina]

No, you don't have to. We just get a tanner will poop in it. I'll poop in it. Yeah, for sure. And then we'll just say it was you. So what? Yeah, can you look up different furry costumes? Who? If you were a furry, who would you be, you think?

[Jamie]

I don't know. I Need to see my options.

[Christina]

Well, as before, it. You know, just when you close your eyes, do you see yourself as like, a little fox?

[Jamie]

A little.

[Christina]

Hence.

[Jamie]

I was like a pony.

[Christina]

Oh, well, that's a whole different.

[Jamie]

Like a. My Little Pony.

[Christina]

Yeah, that's a whole different thing.

[Jamie]

Oh, that's not a furry.

[Chad]

Well, pony play.

[Christina]

Yeah, that's.

[Jamie]

Are you for real? It's a whole other thing.

[Christina]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do they call it? Not ponycon. What's that thing called that they all.

[Chad]

Go to the Kentucky Derby.

[Cougar]

There used to be Bronies that were into my Brony.

[Christina]

Yeah. BronyCon, I think it's called.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine if we get invited to the Kentucky Derby and I show up in a pony outfit?

[Christina]

That would be amazing. Well, everyone else is all fancy.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I see me being more like. I mean, I don't want to look like that, but like that.

[Christina]

I was at the FedEx store today.

[Jamie]

That guy is BronyCon. Oh, my God. Yeah. See, like that one.

[Christina]

See, there's. There's most stuff in my life I look at and I go, I want nothing to do with this. I want nothing to do with this. But also I want to see it so bad. Like, I want to be a fly on the wall.

[Jamie]

And they just sit and talk like normal in the costume.

[Christina]

Go up to the guy on the left. Go up like, two rows. And that guy on the left in the yellow. That's a pretty cool one, James.

[Jamie]

That's fun.

[Christina]

I like how you could tell he's such a nerd, because normally he would have just been in the black T shirt with the laminate.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

And that's the biggest loser look of all time. But he's. But in the costume, Even, like, in the costume, he's still. He's trying to escape the loser, and he can't do it. Why put a T shirt over your Brony costume?

[Jamie]

Because he's cool like that. I don't like it because that's his skin. So he's wearing. You know what I mean?

[Christina]

Wow. You really relate with the bro figuring it out.

[Jamie]

He works there.

[Christina]

It's inappropriate to be topless. Yeah, it's an. It would be inappropriate.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You can't go nude.

[Christina]

Oh, here. Here's something for you guys to find. So I got a check yesterday for 9 cents for a Saturday Night Live skit that I did.

[Jamie]

Cool.

[Christina]

30 years ago.

[Jamie]

Let's get you some more money. Should we watch it?

[Aaron]

I found it on Twitter.

[Christina]

Did you?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Really?

[Aaron]

Yeah, we've got it. That's the little snippet of it.

[Christina]

Wow. Very, very cool.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God.

[Christina]

Look at that acting. Thank you very much. Beautiful, great acting. Thank you very much.

[Jamie]

God bless you.

[Christina]

How'd you find that?

[Jamie]

Wow, Rob, it's a lot easier than you think.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, go. Go back to where I'm on the. I'm on the screen. You see my big fat face when. When I. When I turn around to look up at the dad. I. I mean, you can't tell who's Rosie o' Donnell and who's Robert Eiler in that shot. I'll tell you.

[Jamie]

It's uncanny.

[Christina]

Yeah, it's really hard to figure out who's who when you look at the.

[Jamie]

Wow. You look at you out there with a bunch of legends.

[Christina]

This is before Sopranos. I was even. I was so fat. I mean, you just had. You just had to throw a windbreaker over me and hope for the best at that point. It was really rough.

[Aaron]

I thought it was funny that they include that little arrow, like the little finger pointing, just.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[Aaron]

You forget who it is.

[Christina]

Oh, I didn't see that. I didn't notice that. So how so? Someone else already? I thought you just found this sketch. Somebody was looking at it specifically for me.

[Aaron]

Well, I just found it on Twitter and I guess whoever uploaded it included this little finger pointing at you.

[Christina]

And this is for people who say, you know, I got lucky with Sopranos. Hey, I was doing big things before. Look at that, huh? Look at that kid. I mean, the palest, you know, like Rosie o' Donnell's, like, Irish and all these dudes. Why I look so much paler than everyone else?

[Jamie]

They didn't.

[Christina]

Well, yeah, Rosie o' DONNELL lied to us too, by the way. There was like 10 kids in the scene and she told us all like, oh, write your names down and I'll get you tickets for our show. And they were like, write your name down and like your phone number. And this never called. Let down a bunch of little 10 year olds.

[Jamie]

Never forgot it.

[Christina]

I'd say. Yeah, that kid's not doing the student body president. You know, that kid's smoking a cigarette behind the nativity.

[Jamie]

That's right. Yeah, that's it.

[Christina]

Hell, yeah. You know, recently they did a worst character on Sopranos and I was like, like most hated. And I was like, I always am going to win this. They did that barstool. I didn't even make the fucking top three.

[Jamie]

Who was up three? Me for sure.

[Christina]

No, you weren't in there either. See? No, it was Livia Was Nancy Marshawn. It was. What was Aida's janice. So Aida. And then I forget who else, but I think pants. No, you just hated him. Livia. Livia won. And Janice, too. That was first and second place. Oh, maybe I was. No, I think I, like, didn't even come up.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Christina]

I didn't know people hated them. Oh, no, I think I did come up, but I don't know if I was third. But yeah, I did. People. Really? I was shocked. I thought it was like, oh, number one for sure.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cougar]

We do have a memory lane.

[Christina]

Let's go. Memory lane. Oh, this is Marilyn Manson in 1998. Jamie, what is this?

[Jamie]

I don't know what fucking. I.

[Christina]

By the way.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Christina]

I wasn't smoking weed. I wasn't doing anything bad. I was just listening to music. Yeah. Okay.

[Jamie]

Not high school. I remember this so well. My ex husband was my manager. Oh. He had attached me to go to some event. I was going to be getting paid a lot of money and there was, like a designer attached to it. We were all going to have to wear these outfits and, like, not a fashion show, but, like, be on the stage. I didn't ask questions because I just didn't then. And I remember having to dress in, like, lingerie, basically. And I'm. This is me trying to, like, act like I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. But I wasn't. I remember this night so well. Maybe 2001.

[Christina]

I'm not comfortable with whatever Chad's doing with his other hand under the desk over there. I'll tell you, that's what I'm on these guys. That's what I'm uncomfortable.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Christina]

Okay. In all seriousness, I know. Listen, I bust Chad's balls about. He had a crush on Jamie. We revealed it here. Blah, blah. Do you like Jamie in her. Like, you know, in the Sopranos or when she's hanging on the hoodie or this? Or is this like. Oh, yeah, Jamie's.

[Jamie]

He's not gonna answer this.

[Christina]

Yeah, he will.

[Cougar]

It's not even like that. I mean, to be honest, I had a bunch of crushes when I was a little.

[Christina]

Of course. We all did. Yeah.

[Cougar]

And I was just saying that, you know, my parents watched Sopranos and I thought she was cute.

[Christina]

Yeah, of course.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I get it.

[Cougar]

I wasn't into adulthood. I wasn't, like, looking at these kind of things.

[Christina]

Of course. But I'm just. My point is, like, Jamie has many different things. As a friend of Jamie, I could tell that she's uncomfortable here. So I. It makes me uncomfortable. But, like, as a dude, I could see not knowing a chick who I had a crush on and being like, oh, this is hot. She looks hot here. But, like, I can't. As the way I know Jamie, I can't imagine somebody looking at this and being like, oh, she looks so hot here. But am I wrong?

[Cougar]

No, you're not wrong.

[Christina]

Okay, so you could tell she's uncomfortable.

[Jamie]

A little header text me.

[Christina]

You could tell it's.

[Jamie]

Or.

[Christina]

Or do you only find it uncomfortable because you know Jamie, too now?

[Cougar]

I think it could be that.

[Jamie]

I think it's that.

[Christina]

Yeah, I think that's what it is, because you got to find somebody who doesn't know Jamie and be like, can you tell Jamie's uncomfortable here? Because I look at this, and I'm like, oh, God, James, come on.

[Jamie]

I'm hating my life.

[Cougar]

It doesn't seem like your personality.

[Jamie]

It. Correct. Yeah, exactly. Right.

[Christina]

So was your manager slash husband right before you walked on the carpet, like, here's the lollipop.

[Jamie]

Dude. I'll give you a tootsie Pop if you do it. Probably said yes. I don't. I don't remember that much detail, but I just remember this night being very uncomfortable.

[Christina]

Also, you're known for your hair. Your hair looks like crap. What's going on here? I feel like your hair just looks like. It just looks like we. I don't know. It looks like you have, like, extensions or something. I don't know what.

[Jamie]

That's my hair.

[Christina]

But something weird.

[Jamie]

I think there's. But they see. There's, like, dots all over it. I think that's what you're seeing.

[Christina]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So somebody doesn't use. There you go. That's also. Listen, I'm anti birds, and you're kind of giving bird vibes.

[Jamie]

100% feather. Ugly bird look. All of it. None of it's working for me.

[Christina]

Did Cutter say if. If this turns them on or.

[Jamie]

He must be not here.

[Christina]

Oh, damn. All right, listen, we'll get the answer to you guys about that one next week. Our first cliffhanger.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Christina]

Sam.