The Butt Stuff Dilemma | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Butt Stuff Dilemma" | Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler

Release Date: April 3, 2025
Host/Authors: Robert Iler and Jamie-Lynn Sigler
Podcast Description: Former TV siblings from The Sopranos, Robert Iler and Jamie-Lynn Sigler, co-host the comedy podcast Not Today, Pal. Their contrasting personalities provide a unique dynamic, blending Rob's grouchy demeanor with Jamie's sweet disposition. Each episode delves into their friendship through various segments and discussions, unraveling how two polar opposites find common ground in hilarious ways.

---

1. Missing New York and the Challenge of Cold Weather

Robert Iler opens the conversation by expressing his longing for New York and its vibrant social scene:

"[00:25] Rob: So when it's 28 degrees here, like it is. Yeah, I have, you know, I miss people in New York so much... everywhere around the streets, New York."

He laments the harsh winters and the difficulty of enduring prolonged cold spells, highlighting his nostalgia for the endless social opportunities in New York compared to his current location with limited social interactions.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler sympathizes but contrasts her own experience with the cold:

"[03:30] Jamie Lynn: I like the cold. But if there's no snow, I'm like, what's the point?"

The discussion underscores the personal struggles each host faces with seasonal changes, emphasizing Rob's discomfort with cold weather versus Jamie's nuanced appreciation for snowy days.

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2. Restaurant Etiquette and the Art of Returning Food

The hosts delve into the often awkward experience of returning food at restaurants. Rob shares a personal anecdote about returning a flat soda:

"[04:41] Rob: So Jamie's husband, we're sitting at dinner. Jamie gets a soda... and she goes, yeah, that's a flat soda... I'm like, that's a [05:15] "little out of line."*

Jamie and Cutter discuss the rarity of returning food, with Jamie noting:

"[05:56] Jamie Lynn: It was something that I didn't believe you'd call."

The conversation shifts to the contrasting customer service experiences in different regions, particularly in Texas versus places like Los Angeles, highlighting the variance in restaurant responses to such complaints.

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3. Navigating Spiciness in Dining Orders

The topic transitions to handling spicy food orders and the pitfalls of miscommunication. Cutter recounts ordering an overly spicy dish:

"[09:56] Cutter: I was at a Thai restaurant... I said two. They thought I said ten... I ate it. Miserable time."

Rob humorously comments on his inability to handle unforeseen spiciness:

"[10:02] Rob: I'm not. A spicy is fine with me."

This segment underscores the importance of clear communication in restaurants and the hosts' personal tolerance for spicy foods.

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4. Voicemail Segment: Sexual Advice – 'The Butt Stuff Dilemma'

A pivotal moment in the episode involves a voicemail seeking advice on convincing a spouse to engage in anal sex. The caller, believed to be Cutter, poses the dilemma:

"[15:57] Caller: How do I get my wife to agree to do anal?"

Rob and Jamie respond with a blend of humor and controversial advice:

"[16:10] Jamie Lynn: If there's a woman that doesn't want anal and you're wanting anal, she's gotta feel like it's now or never."
"[16:18] Rob: It's diabolical. Jesus, Jamie."

They debate the ethical implications of such advice, ultimately concluding that their light-hearted approach may not offer the best solutions for serious relationship matters.

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5. Parenting Challenges: Sharing and Creativity

The conversation shifts to parenting, focusing on the challenges of sharing with children and nurturing their creative talents. Jamie expresses frustration over sharing food with her kids:

"[11:01] Jamie Lynn: No, it's more. I get annoyed still when... I have to cut up theirs first before I can, like, get to mine."

They discuss fostering creativity in children, referencing a news segment about a three-year-old's art gaining significant monetary value. Rob skeptically remarks:

"[24:44] Rob: So you don't believe... this is a racket."

Jamie emphasizes the importance of allowing children to enjoy their creative pursuits without undue pressure:

"[27:18] Jamie Lynn: If you love your kid, you let them be a kid as long as they can."

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6. Reflections on Acting Careers and Writing a Memoir

Jamie shares insights into her ongoing memoir, detailing the cathartic process of reflecting on her past:

"[33:06] Jamie Lynn: I'm writing my memoir... It's interesting to be an adult and reflect back on your life and look at your parents as just human beings."

Rob inquires about the introspective revelations Jamie has encountered, leading to discussions about perception versus reality in personal memories.

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7. Therapy and Mental Health: Understanding EMDR

The hosts delve into mental health, particularly Jamie's use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy:

"[37:38] Jamie Lynn: EMDR is a form of therapy... it allows your brain to sort of reprogram the relationship to the trauma."

They explore how Jamie's therapy aids in addressing her anxious attachments and negative assumptions about others' perceptions, highlighting the importance of mental health practices in personal growth.

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8. Final Reflections and Bonds of Friendship

Concluding the episode, Jamie and Rob reflect on their enduring friendship, forged through shared experiences on The Sopranos:

"[40:44] Rob: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm a good guy. Just saying."

They express mutual appreciation and reaffirm their unique bond, which continues to thrive despite their contrasting personalities.

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Notable Quotes

• Rob on Missing New York:

  "[00:25] Rob: So when it's 28 degrees here, like it is... everywhere around the streets, New York."

• Jamie on Accepting Kids' Creativity:

  "[27:17] Jamie Lynn: If you love your kid, you let them be a kid as long as they can."

• Rob on Handling Spicy Food:

  "[10:02] Rob: I'm not. A spicy is fine with me."

• Jamie on Writing Her Memoir:

  "[33:06] Jamie Lynn: I'm writing my memoir... It's interesting to be an adult and reflect back on your life."

• Rob Praising Jamie:

  "[40:48] Rob: Yeah. I love you. Love you, appreciate you."

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Conclusion

In "The Butt Stuff Dilemma," Not Today, Pal navigates a spectrum of topics ranging from personal anecdotes about enduring cold weather and restaurant experiences to more profound discussions on parenting, mental health, and personal growth. The episode encapsulates the essence of Rob and Jamie's friendship—balancing humor with heartfelt reflections—providing listeners with both laughter and meaningful insights.

Transcript

[Jamie Lynn]

Not today, pal.

[Rob]

Guys, email us not today palpodcast gmail.com or leave us voicemails. 512-387-1880. I always forget to do that. I'm gonna try and be. Be better.

[Jamie Lynn]

Be better, be better. Rob.

[Rob]

So when it's 28 degrees here, like it is. Yeah, I have, you know, I miss people in New York so much. So much, like, nowhere. Just. I just miss the people, my friend. Everybody, every. I just love people in New York the most.

[Jamie Lynn]

Everywhere around the streets, New York.

[Rob]

But also, like, my people are there, you know, like, that's where I have the most.

[Jamie Lynn]

I know.

[Rob]

You know where it's like here, it's like, if three people don't want to hang out, I'm like, ah, there's not many more people I want to see. Or like, New York, it's endless. You know, I could just be any part of town. It's like, oh, my God, this person's here. It's great. And, and I kind of like, you know, I entertain in my head sometimes. Like, man, I could move back to New York. Like, I, I, I want to do, I definitely want to do it, but, like, the whole point is winters. Like, can I handle winters? And I go, lately I've been like, you know what? I can, like, I, I could do it just to be back with everybody in this. And then there's three days of 28 degree weather and I go, what the was I thinking? I have no shot at, at surviving winters anymore.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, it's been cold here.

[Rob]

I can't. I can't winter, the cold last a long time. Scars all of it. I hate it. I don't. One of my friends, like, somebody asked me to come back to New York for something recently, and I was like, no, because it's the cold. I can't.

[Jamie Lynn]

Wow.

[Rob]

And it's something that I really like, meant a lot to me, and I wanted to go. And I'm like, I just can't because, like, I don't even have the clothes. Like, I don't even have.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'll buy you a sweater.

[Rob]

What you need more than a sweater, Jamie. I'll buy you all the gear. No, you need. Okay, guys, clip that for me. Jamie's gonna buy me a new winter wardrobe.

[Jamie Lynn]

I want you to miss out on important things because it's gonna be too cold for you.

[Rob]

But, you know, I hate the flying and the cold. It's like, okay, so it's like something I really want, surrounded by things I hate. You know what I mean? So it's like, I gotta fly. It's freezing cold.

[Jamie Lynn]

It's a terrible question for you. Is all of this airplane stuff going on making your fear of flying worse?

[Rob]

I really try not to look, but I could tell you it really doesn't, because in my head, anytime I get on a plane, it's 50.

[Chad]

50.

[Jamie Lynn]

Wow. Wow. Still, that's.

[Rob]

That's what my. Like. And by the way, I'm a math poker guy and probabilities and this. And it's like, you could tell me one in a billion plays, go, that. I go, it's 50, 50. Every time I get on, I'm like, man, please.

[Jamie Lynn]

Did you always feel this way when we were young in flight?

[Rob]

Well, no, because I could do drugs and fucking drink.

[Jamie Lynn]

And I was super young. Like, when we first started going the Emmys and stuff.

[Rob]

The first time you met me, I was drinking and smoking.

[Jamie Lynn]

When your mom was on the plane with you? Me and my mom?

[Rob]

Well, no, but I think that was more like. Like I had that attitude. You know what I mean? Like, I was a guy who would fucking drink and smoke and party and this. So I didn't really think, like, you know, oh, my God. I didn't have those, like, neuroses when I was 12 and 13.

[Jamie Lynn]

And you never had those neuroses about drugs where you're like, this could fuck me up.

[Rob]

Not even once until the end. And then the reason I stopped was because I was like, oh, this is fucking me up. Like, this is making. Causing permanent damage, you know?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. Well. You don't like the cold?

[Rob]

No, I don't like the cold. I don't like flying. I just like chilling.

[Jamie Lynn]

I like the cold. But if there's no snow, I'm like, what's the. The point?

[Rob]

What do you like about the cold?

[Jamie Lynn]

I like a snowy, cold day.

[Rob]

Snowy.

[Jamie Lynn]

I love to be inside when it is. I love to be outside when it is. I. My body likes the cold, but I just. When it's, like, cold and dreary and, like, bland, I'm like, what's the point?

[Rob]

Brutal. Yeah. Windy? Worse.

[Jamie Lynn]

Wendy? Worse.

[Rob]

So I kind of want. I don't know. I wanted to bring up how Cutter. Did we talk about how Cutter returned when we went to dinner and he wanted to return the soda to get a third soda.

[Jamie Lynn]

I think we did talk about.

[Rob]

Did we talk about that on here? I know we talked about it at the escape room. At the escape room, But I don't know if we ever talked about it on the pod.

[Cutter]

I'm not sure.

[Chad]

I don't remember this at all.

[Rob]

So what are you guys. How is your feeling, you guys back there, about returning food? Let's say you go somewhere, you order food. It's. It's not good. What's your. What's your move?

[Chad]

Never.

[Rob]

Never, Never.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm the same.

[Cutter]

I don't really return food.

[Rob]

Yeah, these are single.

[Cutter]

What's wrong with it? Is it the wrong thing?

[Jamie Lynn]

Right?

[Rob]

Yeah. No. If it's the wrong thing, or maybe even if you're like, I asked for something, you know, well done, and they gave it to me basically raw. Like, can you cook this a little more? That's okay. Sure. It's still a little crazy. We're all same people. So Jamie's husband, we're sitting at dinner. Jamie gets a soda. I look at Jamie, I go, that's a flat soda. Jamie takes a sip. She goes, yeah, that's a flat soda. Cut her hand waving at the waiter. The waiter, which is already. It's like, yo, just wait for him to come. Gets the waiter over and is like, this soda's flat. Gives it to them. They return us. And now I go, like, that's a.

[Cutter]

Little out of line.

[Rob]

But it's. Whatever. It is what it is. They get the soda back. I look at the soda. I go, what do you think? They cleaned the fucking guns while we were here? Like, they're giving you the same soda, the same gun. It's going to be flat. Jamie takes a sip. She goes, it's flat. Cut her instantly puts his hand up to get the waiter again. I go, dude, you're not returning. You're not getting a third soda. That's. It was psych. And then he said that I was crazy.

[Jamie Lynn]

His brain just fixates on things, and he cannot move past them.

[Chad]

I mean, I'll be real, though. I wouldn't do it for myself, but if it was for somebody else, I would feel more.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, you're right.

[Rob]

Any. Jamie was going, it's fine, stop.

[Chad]

Yeah, but see, like, if she's my girl, though, I'd be like, no, it's not fine. Hold on. Let's make sure you get what you want. You know what I'm saying?

[Rob]

For a third soda, you would do it.

[Chad]

I mean, bro, if it's a flat soda, it's like, there's literally not. So you might as well at least get something else.

[Cutter]

I was served two flat sodas the other day and just drank them.

[Rob]

Yeah, of course.

[Chad]

Well, that's.

[Jamie Lynn]

That's what I would have done.

[Chad]

I would drink it. But if it's my girl.

[Rob]

Listen. Only time where it's the one time I can understand when you're going for a third soda, you're just being. And you're just being ridiculous. But when we saw Chad at the Escape room, Chad's answer was, I one time went to, like. Was it Korean food?

[Cutter]

We went out for. For Chris's birthday, we went to a really fancy French restaurant, and they brought my drink, and there was a. It was like, kind of an expensive drink, and it had a bug in it. And I, like, I showed the waitress. I'm like, oh, this has a bug in it. And it was really expensive. So I thought, you know, well, maybe they'll remake my drink. You know, there's a bug. Maybe they'll, you know, apologize, do something. I don't know. She was like, oh, do you want me to take it out of there for you? And she scoops it out with a spoon, and she's like, is that okay? I'm like, sure.

[Rob]

Like, yeah. That's crazy.

[Cutter]

It was crazy. I mean, I drank it.

[Rob]

That's crazy.

[Jamie Lynn]

That's when I wish I was, like, a person that left Yelp reviews. You know what I mean?

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

Right in front of me. Like, I couldn't have done that.

[Chad]

How big of a bug are we talking?

[Cutter]

I think it was, like a normal sized fly.

[Jamie Lynn]

Oh, that's large.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Oh, so a fly. Not a net like a fly.

[Cutter]

It was a. It was a. Not a big bug, but not, like a tiny bug.

[Chad]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Rob]

That's supposed to be like, we're sorry. We get. There's almost, like, no need to even discuss what the protocol for that should be.

[Jamie Lynn]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

[Cutter]

That's what I was expecting.

[Rob]

Yeah, not in Texas. I understand. But he said it was a nice restaurant. Like.

[Cutter]

Yeah, yeah, it was expensive.

[Chad]

That's right.

[Cutter]

Yeah, it was. Downtown French restaurant, bro.

[Chad]

Texas.

[Jamie Lynn]

That's why I don't fuck with the French any.

[Rob]

You go to the restaurants me and Jamie go to. There's a fly in your soda. They. What do they do, James? You're not. They're not spooning out your fly. No.

[Jamie Lynn]

And they're bringing you free dessert.

[Rob]

Yeah, free dessert.

[Chad]

There's some of them out there, but, like, just in general. Texas, bro. Customer service. It doesn't exist. It's like, yeah, like, man, get over it. So there's bugs.

[Rob]

All right, Relax. Yeah.

[Chad]

Holy shit. Okay.

[Cutter]

I mean, I'm sure I've eaten, like, thousands of bugs, so.

[Chad]

Right, right. It's like, that's it's true. At the beginning, I was like, you know what? Maybe this is better. Like, why do I expect, you know, customer service to be so like, oh, anything you need. But in la, that's like. That's just normal. I went back to, like, a couple weeks ago, and I was like, oh, yeah, y'all care here? That's fucking weird. Like, I, like, got something. I think I asked if I could sit down, and they were like, yeah, do you want any, like, water?

[Jamie Lynn]

You.

[Chad]

Anything I could get you? You know, just let me know. I'm right here. So we do this whole thing. She'd explain to me, this whole thing like, yo, this is not Texas. I forgot y'all actually care here.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah. And again, listen, I'm not somebody who expects, like, great customer service, but if a bug in a nice restaurant flies into your drink and you bring it to attention of a waiter like that, there's only one thing to do. Like, okay, sorry, we'll replace that drink. And you don't even have to be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, but, like, replace my fucking drink at a nice place.

[Jamie Lynn]

She spooned it out.

[Cutter]

Spooned it out like I was a child.

[Rob]

Oh, Brian, by the way, Chad, that's not what I was asking about. It's the. The spicy thing you told me. Do you remember?

[Cutter]

Oh, yeah. I was at a Thai restaurant with my friend.

[Rob]

I love this.

[Cutter]

And, like, they have, you know, the spicy scale. And on theirs, it's like one to ten. And I said two. They thought I said ten.

[Rob]

I ate it. Yeah.

[Cutter]

Miserable time.

[Jamie Lynn]

Were you sweating? Were you?

[Cutter]

I. I like mild spice. You know, not super mild, but, like. Yeah, a 10 is out of control.

[Chad]

Yeah, you're talking Thai spice.

[Jamie Lynn]

Wow.

[Cutter]

My friend thought it was hilarious, but, you know, it was a small mom and pop shop. I wasn't gonna be like, hey, go remake my food. I'm gonna. I'll just suffer through it.

[Rob]

I love that. Makes me like someone more.

[Jamie Lynn]

Would you cause a scene if I've.

[Rob]

Never caused a scene in a restaurant for anything. I would never.

[Jamie Lynn]

But what if somebody gave you a 10, meaning, like, you were freaking out of the taste in your mouth?

[Rob]

I'm not. A spicy is fine with me.

[Jamie Lynn]

What if somebody was like, this is a healthy dessert, and by accident they brought you the not healthy dessert and you found out you ate all this white sugar?

[Rob]

I would just rage in my head at them. I wouldn't cause it. I can't cause a scene in a restaurant. I just don't have it. In me, neither. Ever. I'm just like, okay, thanks. Like, I've had hair in my food and my friends, like, oh, I'm, like, doing. And I'm like, no, I just. Just let it go. I just want to leave, like, because I'm not eating anymore.

[Jamie Lynn]

Right.

[Rob]

You know?

[Jamie Lynn]

Right.

[Rob]

It's right. I'll have the toenail salad. I just can't. I can't do it once. Once. Once I'm. Once I put, like, a hair in my mouth. The meal's over, maybe for the day.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm eating.

[Rob]

I can't, you know?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

So when you have. Whatever it is, if it's food, you name it. You have a kid, so you understand more. You have two kids. Is it ever annoying to share things with your kids, like, where you're like, no, this is mine. Like, I want this.

[Jamie Lynn]

No, it's more. I get annoyed still when, like, I'm starving and our food comes and I have to, like, cut up theirs first before I can, like, get to mine. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, oh, God, I'm still a parent, and I still got to do this. Do you know what I mean?

[Rob]

Of course. Do you ever just, like, rip it up with your hands and not use, like, a fork and a knife?

[Jamie Lynn]

No.

[Rob]

You think that's so ridiculous.

[Jamie Lynn]

Rip it up. Like, rip a steak up with my hand?

[Rob]

Well, something that could. Chicken. If something like chicken, you can just rip it up with your hands.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm not throwing my hands in their food. No.

[Rob]

Well, that's what. That's how. That's how people make our food when we go out to get sushi. It's their hands.

[Jamie Lynn]

You know what I do get annoyed, and I get really pissy about my kids is when they come near me when I'm doing a puzzle.

[Rob]

Okay.

[Jamie Lynn]

I don't want them to up my puzzle.

[Rob]

Yeah. What else do they up? Do they up your mojo when you're trying to do other stuff?

[Jamie Lynn]

I mean, Jack is just like a bull in a china shop. Like, he. He will just turn around and. And, like, level a table with his hand just turning to answer you. Like, he just doesn't. He has no spatial awareness at all. Like, he'll come up to talk to me and just step directly onto my feet.

[Rob]

Yeah. And then he has no reaction to, like, oh, I just wiped out a table full of stuff. He's like, what? Like, he doesn't know.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, no, he. He's not apologizing.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah. No, he. He. So when we were at that Super Bowl, Party. Him and this other kid were like up in like a bunk. There's like a bunk bed in your friend's movie theater. And they were like, what do you think is going to. And they were. I've never heard whispers louder than talking. That people were talking and cute. We were like, shut up. Like we're trying to watch the game. It's a fourth quarter whispering.

[Jamie Lynn]

There's not. You're not going to miss any words in the game. It's a football game.

[Rob]

You think I want to when I'm watching the Super Bowl? You think I want to hear two kids whisper about whatever the a 5 year old talks about? No.

[Jamie Lynn]

Wow. You're right. Don't have children.

[Rob]

I know. That's why I don't. Yeah.

[Chad]

When people.

[Rob]

You should have kids. No, I shouldn't.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm so used to just a level of background noise in my life that like nothing bothered.

[Rob]

I know.

[Jamie Lynn]

Absolutely.

[Rob]

Yeah. You can't even have the temperature you want in a room without somebody down that. Oh my God. I'm the opposite. I need everything to be exact.

[Jamie Lynn]

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[Rob]

Do we. I, I had something that was for our guest, but our guest canceled. So those. Not. They're not here. Unreal. Dude, do, do we have a. Oh, we. They said we have a voicemail.

[Jamie Lynn]

Oh yeah, dude.

[Rob]

Let's, let's, let's listen to that.

[Jamie Lynn]

We have one voicemail.

[Rob]

Yeah. Thanks.

[Jamie Lynn]

Thank you.

[Rob]

Thanks. Somebody. It's probably somebody just around. Oh, Cougar looks like he's never used a computer.

[Caller]

I'm Calling from South Carolina. I'm calling for Mr. Eiler's School of Acting. Getting some advice.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Caller]

I'm 41 years old, married, love my wife. Got two little ones, boy and a girl, but I got a God awful job in sales and marketing. And I've always kind of been like the funny guy in the group, whether it's my friends, the guys at work, whatever the case may be. And they've been trying to push me to do like, stand up and like that. I'm not really down for that. But I kind of have always admired that guy that plays Phil Dunphy on Modern Family.

[Jamie Lynn]

Okay.

[Caller]

And from what I heard, he got his start in acting very late in life. He was like my age. He was like 40 or 41, something crazy like that. So my real question for you, Mr. Eyler and Yami Lin, please chime in because you're both such professionals. How do I get my wife to agree to do anal?

[Rob]

Is this Cutter? Was this your husband?

[Jamie Lynn]

Sounded like him.

[Rob]

Yeah, that's our boy. Shout out to Cutter. Jamie, how do you.

[Jamie Lynn]

How do you convince your wife?

[Rob]

You got to start with the romance, I think. Or just what she likes. But most women like a little romance.

[Jamie Lynn]

No, no, that's not gonna do it. You need to make her feel a threat to your relationship and that she needs to save it.

[Rob]

It's diabolical. Jesus, James.

[Jamie Lynn]

If there's a woman that doesn't want anal and you're wanting anal, she's gotta feel like it's now or never. She's gonna anal or bust. Yeah.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

That's my advice.

[Rob]

Wow. We have to turn this into an advice show. Cause that was that.

[Jamie Lynn]

Bad advice?

[Rob]

No, that was the best you've ever. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Threaten. Threaten a woman.

[Jamie Lynn]

Not threatener, but being like, I. I don't know if I'm like, into you anymore. Like, I don't know. I don't know if we are sexually compatible anymore. And she's gonna pull out all the stops.

[Rob]

Wow. What if. What if Cutter tried this with you?

[Jamie Lynn]

If he told me he wasn't attracted to me anymore and was thinking about other women giving up that booty, that might push me over the edge.

[Rob]

Wow. Well, send this clip to Cutter. Wow.

[Jamie Lynn]

Could you imagine he's not a good actor.

[Rob]

Could you imagine if tomorrow Cutter was like, you know, I'm not really that into you anymore. Oh, my God.

[Jamie Lynn]

I don't know. I don't know any other way to convince a woman to do anal that doesn't want to do anal.

[Rob]

Can I just say, from day one, we've said it's a sweet and sour. Rob's a curmudgeon on the title of the everything.

[Jamie Lynn]

That was the whole hook.

[Rob]

Rob said romance.

[Jamie Lynn]

You did.

[Rob]

Yours was threaten the relationship and tell her you're not attracted to her. Wow. You never know with us. That's what keeps them coming, you know?

[Jamie Lynn]

That's what keeps them coming back.

[Rob]

Yeah. You know what? I actually.

[Jamie Lynn]

I wish we had more voicemails now.

[Rob]

Well, people, Tom, the number. 512-387-1880. If you want. If you want sexual advice from a master. Jamie Lynn, ask any. She's. She's ready to go.

[Jamie Lynn]

I don't think there was anything wrong with that advice.

[Rob]

No, I think it was great.

[Jamie Lynn]

What else would. Do you guys have any other advice? I mean, why are you laughing?

[Cutter]

Alcohol is the advice.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Chad]

Or drugs. As long as you don't.

[Rob]

What drugs lead to anal?

[Chad]

Molly.

[Jamie Lynn]

Really?

[Chad]

Yep.

[Rob]

See, I would. I could never do that. Like, when I was on Molly, doing something that I knew someone didn't want before, I'd feel horrible.

[Jamie Lynn]

You'd be like, it's okay.

[Rob]

Yeah, we're never gonna do anal because you were the best. And like, whatever you want. You know what I mean? But then, like, you know, Molly is. To Molly. I'm. I'm one with the universe, you know, I'm not trying to stick it in.

[Jamie Lynn]

Manipulate. Yeah, well, I guess you wouldn't be on Molly. She would be on Molly, is what they're saying.

[Rob]

Oh, you're saying just give her mol and you stay sober.

[Chad]

Would be drugging someone. I wouldn't necessarily recommend that. No, that's the deal. Like, if that's what y'all want to do. But no, I mean, like, you could be on Molly, too. I mean, I don't know. Some people. Yeah, some people say they can't fuck on Molly.

[Rob]

Listen, Jamie made it clear you don't drug them, you threaten them. There's only one way to get anal, guys.

[Cutter]

What's wrong with just, like, straight up asking, like, sincerely?

[Jamie Lynn]

Well, it sounds like he has been, and she was not into it.

[Chad]

He says she needs to be convinced. Which.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, or, you know, get your big Hollywood career and maybe then she'll want it.

[Rob]

Yeah, well. Yeah, that's right.

[Jamie Lynn]

Get out of your boring sales job and get something more.

[Rob]

I'm sure Phil Dunphy's banging chicks in the ass. That's right.

[Jamie Lynn]

Task. Ty Burrell. What are you asking me for? Ask your hero.

[Chad]

Oh, man, I forget the other one. That does that. There's a. What is it? Is it whippets? What's the fucking whippets?

[Rob]

Oh, no, I know what you're thinking of.

[Chad]

Poppers.

[Rob]

Poppers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chad]

That does that too, right?

[Jamie Lynn]

What's a popper?

[Rob]

It's something you smell and like, I think it loosens your ass or like, makes your ass tingle or it does something. Can we. Can we get the fact checkers?

[Jamie Lynn]

Poppers are. I can't read it.

[Rob]

Can you read that?

[Chad]

Poppers are recreational drugs belonging to the alkyl nitrite family. Oh, whoops. Let me do this. Alkyl nitrite family of chemical compounds. When fumes from these, they act as potential potent vasodilators producing mild euphoria, warmth and dizziness. Most effects have a rapid onset and are short acting.

[Jamie Lynn]

That sounds like hell.

[Chad]

Takes like five minutes, I guess.

[Rob]

Duration of thing, 30 seconds of five minutes. I don't. I don't know why it's so weird for that. By the way, how crazy is that? Like, we've figured, like, imagine the stuff. We don't know. If it's like, hey, if you smell the stuff in this bottle, it leads to anal sex. Like, what? That's so crazy.

[Chad]

Freaky. Chemists in the lab.

[Rob]

Yeah, right. Like, could you imagine? They're trying to figure out something to like, to like make people's hair grow. And like, they smell it. They're like, man, I just want to get pounded in the ass. It's like, well, I guess this is a new drug that we could put on the market. We found something here, guys.

[Cutter]

Well, I saw that one too.

[Rob]

Yeah, thank you. I knew. I knew right when I said it. But hey, what are you gonna do, you know?

[Jamie Lynn]

Well, that's like in the Penguin, right? They have that drug that they give all the people in the insane asylum and then it becomes a street drug.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

That show is so good. By the way, have you guys watched the Penguin?

[Cutter]

Yeah, it was great.

[Chad]

Yeah, really good.

[Jamie Lynn]

Cool.

[Rob]

Know any? And he wouldn't even say no. He just.

[Jamie Lynn]

So good.

[Rob]

Listen, I think the first episode was fucking great. And then the rest is good. But I thought the first episode I was really.

[Jamie Lynn]

Oh, I think everything about it is so good.

[Rob]

I think it's good. I just thought that first episode, like, blew me away. And I was like, yeah, I was like, this is gonna be the best show ever if this keeps going and it's still good. But like that first one was. Woo.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

If tomorrow you could add a dream room to your house, it could be Anything. The money's not a problem. Space isn't a problem. Don't think of any of the bed. Just what do. What do you want? Like.

[Jamie Lynn]

I love my house.

[Rob]

Look, you just put it. You just put another different room in it. But like, you know, if you could have what, what is something that you're like, wow, it'd be nice to have.

[Jamie Lynn]

I would love a room that literally was just like a pit. Like every, like you just walked in and it was just the sofa took up the whole room. You could just like roll around like, like, you know, like just a giant cozy room.

[Chad]

Like solitary confinement type shit.

[Jamie Lynn]

Padded. Yup. And like, like sunken in sofa that you can just jump in. But like tables around where like I just, like just a room where like literally you just be cozy.

[Rob]

I love that. Yeah, that's cozy. And then like one whole wall is just a tv.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yes, of course.

[Rob]

Or you have like a projector.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

And you could just watch.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, that's.

[Rob]

That's kind of what you tried to create upstairs in your house.

[Jamie Lynn]

Kind of. It's just like a little. Yeah. I mean there's elements of that. Yes.

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do we have. You know, you've been talking about your kids lately and you know, after I saw this video, if you have the video of the three year old, I just feel like your kids are kind of slackers and I want to know what you think of this.

[News Reporter]

Either this kid should give a masterclass on finger painting, or his parents should be hailed as geniuses of marketing. Three year old Laurent Schwartz enjoys being creative with paint. His mother, Lisa, says he's been experimenting with colors since he was 2. She set up an Instagram page of Laurent's art and somehow it explains, exploded. Now the child, who hasn't started school yet, is holding an exhibition of his art in his family's German hometown. Laurent's father, Philipp, explains at some point he'll decide for himself what to do with this. And then of course, there are favorite paintings, which we won't give away either. Laurent's mother, Lisa, says if her son came to her and said he didn't feel like painting anymore, then she'll say it's perfectly okay. Then we'll have had a great time. But Laurent is still having fun, and his paintings are selling for more than some people make in a year. His acrylic paintings are going for between $11,000 and $325,000.

[Rob]

Hell yeah.

[News Reporter]

So is it pure talent or excellent advertising? Let's ask the people who shell out thousands for the artwork of a three year old.

[Rob]

What are we thinking here?

[Jamie Lynn]

It's all hype. Hype is where's the video of him.

[Cutter]

Painting that whole thing?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. I don't believe he did those little circles to make like, little eyes on that thing. Like, really? This is a racket.

[Rob]

So you don't believe you're calling.

[Jamie Lynn]

This is like, put him in my racket box.

[Rob]

Yeah, Jamie's racket box.

[Jamie Lynn]

Like, no. Also my kids have done art like that and, you know, I hung it on the fridge for a month or two and then, you know, in the trash it goes.

[Rob]

So let's. Yeah, let's say your son started all of a sudden selling paintings for $10,000 a painting or whatever. And then after 30 of them, he's like, you know what? I don't want to do this anymore. Are you just like, okay, cool. Or do you like.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, well, you're not going to force him.

[Rob]

No, you could kind of lean on him. You know, you'd be like, well, if you like your, you know, you really like baseball, like, you know, you could be like, hey, if you want to do this, like, hey, we need fucking 100 grand that you could just do. And you know, I don't think it's wrong to like.

[Jamie Lynn]

But I'm not in a position to like, need my kids money. That money would be going in an account, his own thing that he made for his life. I don't think I would make him do it.

[Rob]

Well, anybody. Anybody back there who would. If your kids popping out $10,000 paintings would kind of lean on him a bit.

[Chad]

I mean, I think it's wild that Jamie wouldn't, since that was literally your advice for that guy in anal, like, relationship stuff.

[Rob]

Threaten your kids. Yeah.

[Chad]

I know. I wouldn't care. I don't want. Yeah, I don't like relying on anybody else's money.

[Cutter]

Yeah, yeah, you just encourage them if they want to do it.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, like Bose quits shit that he's good at. That I would be like, oh, man, you were so, like, he was so good at lacrosse and he just didn't want to play anymore. And I've was part of me was frustrated with. He had just bought him all the fucking gear, which is not cheap. I'm like, dude, come on. Like, what was. We just finished our second year. You're so good. Like, it's clicking for you. You're great. And he just didn't want to do it. So what am I going to.

[Rob]

Okay, let's say, let's say this. Let's say you're living in an apartment with your kid and your spouse, and all of a sudden, like, something happens. You lose your job, the rent is due, and, you know, if this just puts out a painting, you can cover the next two months. But he's like, you know, I don't really want to do it. You don't lean on.

[Jamie Lynn]

You want to eat.

[Rob]

That's what I'm saying.

[Chad]

I mean, me, no, I'm going to go get a. Get three jobs.

[Jamie Lynn]

Of course. Exactly. Exactly.

[Rob]

Instead of being like, hey, take 10 minutes and do a fucking finger painting.

[Jamie Lynn]

No.

[Chad]

Yes. Yeah. No way.

[Jamie Lynn]

If you love your kid, you. You let them be a kid as long as they can, and you. You make them feel safe, that you are going to take care of whatever you need to take care of to ensure their needs are met.

[Rob]

But I could see.

[Jamie Lynn]

Never put the pressure on your kid, but they have to be involved in anything that is regarding their basic needs.

[Rob]

Right. I. I could just see the argument that if for 10 minutes a week, every once a week for 10 minutes, you do this finger painting, this could lead to much more comfort in your life and being able to be a kid and do whatever, because you're not gonna have to worry about finances, which.

[Jamie Lynn]

Is like, that'll fuck a kid up more than the money that you're making.

[Rob]

But you don't even have to explain that to him. You could just be like you. The same way you force your kid to do a ton of things.

[Jamie Lynn]

But I force. But I have to force Beau. And I told him, if I continue to force you not doing it, like, to practice his guitar, where I'm like, I'm not paying for a songwriting guitar teacher for you once a week if you're not going to fucking practice your guitar every other day.

[Rob]

Is he getting better at guitar since he started?

[Jamie Lynn]

He is, actually. Yeah. I walked in his room the other day, I was like, whoa.

[Rob]

Really?

[Jamie Lynn]

I try and tell him too. It's just like such a cool skill to have throughout your life, like, to play a musical instrument. And he can tell you it's just.

[Chad]

Like, the trombone is not cool. Confirmed. Not the same.

[Jamie Lynn]

I think it's cool, but I. I think to have the skill. And Chad. Chad knows, like, to be able to play a musical instrument is such a gift. I think it's. It's such a gift.

[Cutter]

I play every day.

[Jamie Lynn]

You do?

[Cutter]

Yeah. Every single day. It's like meditation.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. Yeah. It's for you. It's for you. How many things you in your life are just for You. You know what I mean?

[Cutter]

I'm gonna write another song about Rob.

[Jamie Lynn]

Please do. You can write a song about how to get.

[Rob]

It'll go where all your other songs go. Right in the trash.

[Jamie Lynn]

Who gives a shit with the art.

[Cutter]

Yeah, it actually did pretty well.

[Rob]

Thanks.

[Jamie Lynn]

Jamie's kids. It was such a bop.

[Rob]

Yeah. No, great. Great song. What if your friend who had kids asked you advice about getting their kids into show business?

[Jamie Lynn]

That's happened, right?

[Rob]

And what do you. Is there, like, a age that is. There's a minimum.

[Jamie Lynn]

No, it's just more like, is this, like. Is this what your kid talks about? Live breathes, Talks about all the time? Which was what I was then. Yeah. And like, my advice is like, classes, classes, classes. Like, build the skill, build the confidence. Local productions look for, like, local theater, local things where they could still experiment but have their normalcy. But, you know, there's just some kids that, like, really just wanted a young age as far as, like, telling somebody how to get an agent and shit. I don't know how to fuck. Can do that.

[Rob]

Yeah. People always ask me. I'm like, you're asking the wrong. Or even, like, I have a few friends who are actors, and sometimes they talk to me like, I'm an actor. I'm like, I don't know what the you're talking about. Like, they're like, yeah, well, you know, Mipsy Baduli did that movie? And she's. I'm like, what? Like, I'm like, that's supposed to mean what to me?

[Jamie Lynn]

Like, Mitzi Baduli.

[Rob]

I'm just thinking about, you know, like, I'm like, I don't know. And they'll talk about, like, the way things are, like, framed or shot or this. Yeah. I'm like, I don't. You're talking to.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm an idiot.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm like, I've had somebody ask me, do you want to know what lens you're on?

[Rob]

I'm like, oh, yeah, What? I wouldn't know. I wouldn't.

[Jamie Lynn]

No one ever told me.

[Rob]

Yeah. I wouldn't even know. I couldn't name a lens.

[Jamie Lynn]

But I do. Like, when they'll be like, it's here or it's here, so you understand, like, how much to give, so to say. But like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, if they are extreme close up, you have to be way more. Usually you'd want to be more subtle and understanding. The camera is going to pick up anything and everything and.

[Rob]

Yeah, see, you're more of an actor than me. I didn't Even know that was a rule.

[Jamie Lynn]

It's not a rule. I just feel like when I know that it's very close up, you know, I'm mindful.

[Rob]

That's subtle. Subtle, Yami Lee subtlety.

[Jamie Lynn]

Nothing else about me is subtle.

[Rob]

What. What do you think? Like, the lowest age that you think it's like, yeah, okay, like, start getting them to auditions or whatever. Or you'd be like, no, no, just let them chill.

[Jamie Lynn]

Like, I mean, I didn't start till I was like, 10, nine or 10.

[Rob]

I started.

[Jamie Lynn]

That's a good age. I know. That's crazy.

[Rob]

Yeah. I think everybody loves a cute kid. Yeah, I think it depends. Like, what. What's your situation? Right. Like, we were, you know, it wasn't good. Like, it was like this, though. This money would but, like, change our lives. Like, if the money's not life changing. And it's like, you know, you live in a fucking nice house now. This took. Whatever.

[Jamie Lynn]

But also, you had an awareness that you were helping your family.

[Rob]

Well, no, because my family, like, my family never used my money to, like, pay for a better life for. But, like, I think they knew that, like, this could lead to a better life for him. I mean, like, you know, and obviously, if it was like, oh, if it fudgeing blew up, it could be a better life for everybody or this. But it's like, they were always great with me with my money. Like, never took my money, never whatever. But no, it was like, just saying, like, do you. If I was 6 and they were like, you should be going on auditions. Or we're running around New York City and this. Are you doing that if we're not broke? Like, probably not. Because a lot of times it gets to the point where you're like, I don't want to fudgeing do this anymore.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

It's crazy. You're running around. You're trying to go to school year, then after school, it's right away into this, and then you're just like, I don't want to.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, I think about that a lot. I think about, like, how much my mom, like, sacrifice beyond just being a normal mom to like, make my dream come true.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm sort of in that part of my book that I'm writing right now, and it's like, you know, it's. It's interesting to be an adult and reflect back on your life and look at your parents at, like. Like talking about your parents at the age that you kind of are now.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

With a perspective. It's. It's wild. Like seeing them as just human beings not knowing what they're doing. Because that's what you are.

[Rob]

No, it's super weird. And like, with me, like, When I was 20, my parents were like, younger than I am right now.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

So I'm like, whoa. Like, that's a bizarre to like not have a kid to be like, to have a 20 year old, like, yeah. Adult in this. How. So how's the book going? Have we talked about the book on here?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah, I'm writing my memoir.

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lynn]

It is a very cathartic, very healing, very difficult thing. However, I am being the rawest, realest, most honest I've ever been, because otherwise, what's the point? I feel it's. It's very interesting to sort of look back on your life with forgiveness for everyone in it, but more importantly for yourself. And it's like a process that I recommend anyone to do in any form or way because I've, I've. It's, it's. It's been very helpful to me in a lot of ways, and it's difficult to dig up all the shit, but I'm almost at a point in my life where I'm ready. And it's kind of like this opportunity, I think, when you're in your 40s or in that whatever stage of this life that lands for you, age wise, like where you look back at your life and you reflect on things and you can realize you can choose what you can take with you and what you can leave behind. And that's kind of where I'm at.

[Rob]

Has this stuff with Chad come up yet in the book?

[Jamie Lynn]

We're not at Chad's chapter yet.

[Rob]

Chad's. Okay, well, listen, I'm very happy you're doing the book.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'm happy I'm gonna have to add a whole addendum about anal.

[Rob]

Yeah, that does a whole. Does that get a chapter?

[Jamie Lynn]

We'll see how it turns out. Yeah.

[Rob]

Sex advice. How different is your book from this podcast?

[Jamie Lynn]

Very.

[Rob]

Yeah, it's not gonna be, but hey.

[Jamie Lynn]

Look, you know a lot of memory lane, though. A lot of memory lane.

[Rob]

Yeah. What. What percentage of it are you talking about? Sopranos.

[Jamie Lynn]

I mean, it was 10 years of my life and it was 10 really transformative years. You're really, you know, you're getting my perspective of the experience very honestly. And so a lot.

[Rob]

Was there any stuff that came up that you were surprised that you were like, I didn't remember this, and then it just like came to you. Really?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. You know what it is? It's like, no, no, no, not yet. I know, but. But yeah, it's like when you're reading back through my words and what I've written, like more memories start to surface.

[Rob]

Right?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. And then also more like. Like you're writing from what you perceived the reality to be. And then when you read it back, you're like, oh my God, is that what I really thought was going on? I don't think that's what was happening, but like, from my perception, that's what it was. It's. It's very interesting.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Jamie Lynn]

So.

[Rob]

So for some reason when you read it, it's different than when you just sang in your head.

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Why?

[Jamie Lynn]

Well, because when I'm getting it out of my head, this is how it's been stored in my memory. Right. This is how I remember it going. And then when you read it, you're like, maybe that it wasn't that, but I'm also acknowledging like you're reading this from a 15 year old girl's memory of something. You know what I mean? It's. I, I honor what my memory was and is, but I also honor what the reality of it could have been and just sort of how I was interpreting things, how I was internalizing things. So I would like to say I'm being gracious for all involved in my storytelling that this was how I perceived it.

[Rob]

So does that ever then make you reflect on your daily life where you're like, I think this is going on in my daily life now, when really it might be something else.

[Jamie Lynn]

It's actually very helpful for me in therapy. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like seeing patterns and seeing, seeing like triggers for me and how I react and being like, oh God, I have been reacting that way forever. I can fix that. Like, I'm doing EMDR about like I have this one thing where I just always assume people are mad at me.

[Rob]

Really?

[Jamie Lynn]

Yeah. Like my first gut is they're mad at me.

[Rob]

What's the opposite? Has anyone in here ever been mad at Jamie?

[Cutter]

No.

[Rob]

No. Yeah. I don't even. Besides, like, besides your cutter and your kids, I don't know anybody who's ever.

[Jamie Lynn]

Well, like, if somebody doesn't text me back or call me back or.

[Rob]

Right.

[Jamie Lynn]

It was kind of weird to me when I ran into them. I. I might first thought is, I fucked up, I did something wrong, I said something wrong. They're mad at me.

[Rob]

Wow.

[Jamie Lynn]

And I was really seeing the pattern of when I was a little girl because I had such anxious attachment to my mom and my Parents and then to everything. And I never expressed my fears. I internalized everything. And so, like, the other day, a friend of mine was, like, a little off when I saw her. And then I had texted, and she didn't text back. And I immediately was like, she's mad at me. What did I do? When was the last time I saw her and what did I say? And, like, when I talk to my therapist about it, she's like, we can fix that. Like an emdr. We can. We can change the way your reaction is, but we gotta get back to sort of the root of when that behavior began. And so I don't think I would be able to really see that in myself if I wasn't doing this work.

[Rob]

Can you tell people what EMDR is? We don't know.

[Jamie Lynn]

EMDR is a form of therapy. I think they use, like, light and sound, but it's usually, like, you'll follow this light on, like, this bar, and you have, like, a button that you can press. And the therapist sort of takes you into a trauma, and you bring all the players from the trauma. You really bring yourself into it, and you have to sit in it. But because the light. I don't know, scientifically, I hope I'm not, like, butchering this. But because you're following the light, I think it allows your brain to sort of reprogram the relationship to the trauma and sort of witness it more as opposed to feeling overwhelmed by it. And then you can call in the heroes or the scenarios that could have shifted that for you. I've. I've done it before. It's pretty powerful.

[Rob]

So when. When you. Because you talked about, like, you know, if somebody's a. Not texting you back right away, you feel like, oh, my God, what did I do? Did you. Was there ever times on Sopranos where you felt like you were worried about it, like, going away or like, what if.

[Jamie Lynn]

No, I just thought everybody hated me.

[Rob]

That's crazy.

[Jamie Lynn]

I'll get into that in the book. I just. I just thought everybody didn't think I was good and didn't like me.

[Rob]

And everybody except for me, of course.

[Jamie Lynn]

For you. You and I talk about that too. That you were. You were. There's, like, a reason we have our bond. You have yours with me, I think, for your own reasons, and I have my attachments to you for my own. And then it's, I think. Think we've come together as an adult, like, completely sep. That's why, I think, why we have such an even separate relationship from that. Like, yes, that's what bonded us and brought us together. But you were, hands down, my savior during that experience. Like, I felt very loved and safe, mostly because you always told me, like, it was like, you would call something out immediately. You would say something immediately. Like. And I. And it was the first time that somebody did that for me. And it felt like an act of love and not a criticism or a judgment. You know what I mean?

[Rob]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I love you. Love you, appreciate you. You hear that? Any. I'm a good guy. Just saying. I'm a good. I'm a good guy.

[Chad]

Y'all are good people.

[Rob]

Yeah. Great. Great pod. We'll see you guys.

[Jamie Lynn]

Hey, not today. Not today. Hey, not today, pal. Whoa, whoa. Not today.

[Rob]

Kapoor. One of the.