The Hot & Horny 69th Episode | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler Episode Summary: The Hot & Horny 69th Episode Release Date: November 21, 2024

In the 69th episode of Not Today, Pal, hosts Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler delve deep into personal anecdotes, the dynamics of their friendship, and an unfiltered exploration of their sex lives. This episode, aptly titled "The Hot & Horny", blends humor with candid conversations, offering listeners an intimate glimpse into the lives of the former Sopranos siblings turned podcasters.

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1. Friendship Dynamics and Personal Stories

Jamie and Cutter (Robert) kick off the episode with lighthearted banter, reminiscing about past relationships and the quirks that define their enduring friendship despite their contrasting personalities. Jamie portrays herself as the "complete sweetheart," while Cutter embodies the "real-life Oscar the Grouch," leading to a dynamic interplay filled with humor and mutual respect.

• Notable Quote:
  • Jamie (00:23): "Not today, pal."

2. The Furniture Fiasco

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a humorous yet relatable story where Jamie ends up with a bruised arm while moving a dresser. Cutter recounts the chaotic event during Monday Night Football, highlighting the comedic tension between them as they navigate the mishap.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jamie (03:14): "It was Monday Night Football. It was a short, short window."
  • Cutter (03:24): "I honestly, I love when you or Cutter asked me for help with something. I love it because I feel it gives my life purpose."

3. Auditioning Woes and Acting Antics

Transitioning from physical comedy to the professional realm, Cutter discusses his process of creating audition tapes from Texas. The conversation touches on the challenges of remote auditions, Cutter's collaboration with Rob, and the humorous friction that arises during line readings.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Cutter (03:36): "We borderline get divorced every time we do it, especially when he loves to give me a line reading."
  • Jamie (04:12): "Do you hate having to put yourself on tape for auditions? Do you like it? How do you feel about it?"

4. Diving into the 69th Episode: Sex Questions

Embracing the episode's theme, Jamie introduces a segment focused on sex-related questions. This segment becomes the centerpiece of the episode, where both hosts openly discuss their sexual histories, preferences, and humorous experiences.

5. Reflecting on Past and Present Sex Lives

Jamie initiates a conversation about how her and Cutter's sex lives have evolved from their 20s to their current stages in life. This introspection sets the tone for an honest and often hilarious exploration of their personal growth and changing desires.

• Notable Quote:
  • Jamie (16:56): "How has your sex life changed from now from when you were in your 20s?"

6. The "Number of Partners" Banter

A particularly entertaining segment involves Jamie playfully prodding Cutter about the number of people he's been intimate with. This leads to a series of jokes, guesses, and light teasing, showcasing the comfortable rapport between the hosts.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jamie (10:09): "Big episode 69. Cutter, Jamie just said that you've never told her how many people you've slept with."
  • Cutter (09:35): "I don't know how to choose which one."

7. Exploring Porn Website Titles

Jamie shares her recent experiment with rating porn website titles, aiming to gauge their interest levels based solely on the titles. Cutter's reactions range from confusion to amusement as they dissect the creativity and absurdity of various site names.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jamie (20:32): "So we're going to rate them 1 to 10 on, like, your interest once you see that, like, your odds of clicking it."
  • Cutter (22:45): "It'll taint my. No pun intended, Walmart experience."

8. Aphrodisiacs and Sexual Preferences

The conversation shifts to discussing aphrodisiacs and what stimulates their sexual appetites. Cutter reveals that champagne and sports, particularly golf and baseball, serve as his aphrodisiacs, adding a humorous twist to the discussion.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jamie (35:28): "Are aphrodisiacs just food or Aphrodisiacs or anything that, like, make is like a sexual thing?"
  • Cutter (36:32): "Golf. Also sports. Yes. Any kind of sport."

9. Concluding Thoughts and Teasers for the Future

As the episode nears its end, Jamie and Cutter reflect on the time's passage and the depth of their conversations. They tease the upcoming 70th episode, promising a return to regular content with less focus on sex talk, ensuring a balanced continuation of their humorous and heartfelt dialogues.

• Notable Quotes:
  • Jamie (38:07): "Wow. Listen, that flew by."
  • Cutter (38:08): "Drags on."

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Key Takeaways

• Dynamic Friendship: Despite their opposing personalities, Jamie and Cutter maintain a strong and humorous friendship, often finding common ground in their shared experiences and candid conversations.

• Humorous Honesty: The episode exemplifies their ability to humorously navigate personal topics, especially concerning their sex lives, making listeners feel both entertained and connected.

• Engaging Dialogues: Through relatable stories and playful banter, the hosts create an engaging narrative that balances humor with genuine insights into their lives.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jamie (00:23): "Not today, pal."
• Jamie (03:14): "It was Monday Night Football. It was a short, short window."
• Cutter (03:36): "We borderline get divorced every time we do it, especially when he loves to give me a line reading."
• Jamie (16:56): "How has your sex life changed from now from when you were in your 20s?"
• Jamie (10:09): "Big episode 69. Cutter, Jamie just said that you've never told her how many people you've slept with."
• Jamie (20:32): "So we're going to rate them 1 to 10 on, like, your interest once you see that, like, your odds of clicking it."
• Cutter (22:45): "It'll taint my. No pun intended, Walmart experience."
• Jamie (35:28): "Are aphrodisiacs just food or Aphrodisiacs or anything that, like, make is like a sexual thing?"
• Cutter (36:32): "Golf. Also sports. Yes. Any kind of sport."
• Jamie (38:07): "Wow. Listen, that flew by."
• Cutter (38:08): "Drags on."

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Conclusion

The 69th episode of Not Today, Pal successfully blends humor with honest conversations, offering listeners a memorable exploration of Jamie and Cutter's personal lives. Their ability to discuss intimate topics with wit and sincerity makes this episode both entertaining and relatable, solidifying their place as beloved figures in the comedy podcasting world.

Transcript

[Jamie]

Abc. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Cutter]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Jamie]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[Cutter]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Jamie]

The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each.

[Cutter]

Other like rational adults?

[Jamie]

Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Cutter]

Not today, pal.

[Jamie]

Come on. Watch out. Welcome to episode 69. Wow.

[Cutter]

I have gonorrhea.

[Jamie]

Oh, well, what makes you a great podcaster is your honesty, Amy.

[Cutter]

Well, you know, that's sometimes what happens.

[Jamie]

I. I find this very immature, but they said, you're ymh. You have to do this.

[Cutter]

So it's a. It's.

[Jamie]

We have to celebrate episode 60. Do you remember the first time when somebody said to you, it was 69. You're like, what's that like? I don't even know what that is.

[Cutter]

I mean, not specifically, but I want to say it happened, like, on the bus.

[Jamie]

Right. I was going to say your brothers.

[Cutter]

Yeah, but, you know, they were five and eight years older than me, that I was so much younger than them when they were talking about shit like that that they did not want me knowing about it. You know what I mean? They were, like, very protective of me.

[Jamie]

But.

[Cutter]

But Jack, since he's 4 years old, has been, like, 69. He doesn't know what it means, but he just knows it's something naughty.

[Jamie]

We were watching football, and so he's like, 69.

[Cutter]

He's like, oh, Jack did.

[Jamie]

Oh, my God. It was so funny. Yeah. So I wanted to. I was like, I'm not gonna show Jamie this. And I was like, you know what? It might be good for the pot. I don't know if you could see it, but look. So you. Look at. Look at my arm here. Look at this. You see?

[Cutter]

Why are you yellow?

[Jamie]

That's from you making us move the dresser.

[Cutter]

I bruised you.

[Jamie]

This is what I put my life on the line for the Dykstra family. My body.

[Cutter]

Oh. I did a Facebook marketplace.

[Jamie]

Well, you should. You shouldn't say that, because then people will know you're selling things on Facebook Marketplace.

[Cutter]

They'll look for you and try selling, I'm done.

[Jamie]

Are you. You're done because Cutter says you are.

[Cutter]

Nothing else to sell.

[Jamie]

What about in a year when you're done with Sick of that stuff, the stuff that you got?

[Cutter]

I will not.

[Jamie]

All right. Jamie's on Facebook, Marketplace. She just has. This is the truth. She just has random people showing up over try to watch football, and she's like, hey, can you guys move this? But listen, I'm a dude. We watch football, we move furniture, we hurt ourselves, we don't bring it up. I was. I didn't. Whatever.

[Cutter]

You. You definitely helped diffuse the situation. But I would like a witness to say that Cutter was complaining about it. And then when I explained my case, do you remember? He was like, it's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. And then one minute later, he was huffing and puffing that it was the most annoying thing in the world. But, yes. A man came to pick up a very heavy dresser that I told him was going to be heavy, and him. It was going to be long and needed help.

[Jamie]

It was very long and awkward. Even more than heavy.

[Cutter]

Yes. And he came himself. And then Robin, Cutter were the ones that had to carry it to the car. And. I cannot believe your arm.

[Jamie]

And this wasn't like a Sunday where it's like, oh, you're watching football all day, and it happens to be 10 minutes that. Get it. Stop. It was Monday night.

[Cutter]

It was Monday Night Football.

[Jamie]

It was Monday Night Football. It was a short, short window. No, I. Listen, I honestly, I love when you or Cutter asked me for help with something. I love it because I feel it gives my life purpose.

[Cutter]

Really?

[Jamie]

Yeah, I really like it.

[Cutter]

Yeah. I've started making Rob help me with my audition tape.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

I'm going to his house on Monday.

[Jamie]

Can you. Can you explain to people what, like, putting you on tape? What is that? What is that?

[Cutter]

Like, so, like, you know, I live in Texas, obviously, so I'm not in the room to audition in front of people. So you send in a tape. So they send you the script, and you set up your phone, and you have somebody behind your phone and they read it with you. Rob did an audition with me a couple weeks ago that went super well. I'm wondering, though, like, when I send it in, if, like, somebody's like, wait a minute.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Well, it's one of my many jobs. It's one of my many, many jobs. I am actor, podcaster, now. Mover, mover, shaker. Yeah, all.

[Cutter]

All. All the things.

[Jamie]

Do you hate having to put yourself on tape for auditions? Do you like it? How do you feel about it?

[Cutter]

I like it because it's like, the only time I get to, like, act right now.

[Jamie]

And then you said. You said doing it with Cutter is an experience.

[Cutter]

Yeah, we. We borderline get divorced every time we do it, especially when he loves to give me a line reading.

[Jamie]

So tell people what a line reading is. In case someone doesn't know, he'll stop.

[Cutter]

Me in the middle of doing it and be like, you're gonna do it that way? As you can imagine how infuriating that is. And then he'll just give me a recommendation of how he would say it if he was doing the performance.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Because, you know, he has just such a long list of credits.

[Jamie]

Yeah, you should tell him how to golf.

[Cutter]

Exactly.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You should go. I think you're sweat. The best is when you tell him to do less. Less Zins. That's my favorite. Tell him less.

[Cutter]

That'll never end.

[Jamie]

All right, so listen, it's 69.

[Cutter]

Yeah. Here we are.

[Jamie]

We stay away from a lot of the sex questions normally, but they're. They're my favorite. Why? I don't know. I think sometimes you're like, oh, we're doing another sex. More sex question. I feel like sometimes.

[Cutter]

I've never said that.

[Jamie]

Really? I feel like sometimes you're like, oh, come on. Like, that's just. Maybe that's just a vibe I pick up.

[Cutter]

I don't know. I don't think I have.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

All right, so the episode that you're preparing, will that.

[Cutter]

Will that have a lot of sex? The three questions I have so far do not involve sex.

[Jamie]

You've been saying since pajama pants. You're like, I'm gonna do one.

[Cutter]

I am. I am.

[Jamie]

I know. You said you have three.

[Cutter]

You set the bar high. I'm doing my research. Give me some time. I need to make it good. It can't just be bullshit things. So just to. Haven't told you guys here, I'm preparing to run a show.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

Jamie, I will be emailing Zolo all of the things, all of the links, all of my ideas. I have three ideas so far. My goal is to have, like, 15 for that show.

[Jamie]

That's great.

[Cutter]

So I have a long way to go, but I'm on my way. And I. The three things I have, I think are very good.

[Jamie]

I'm excited. I think it's going to be. I think it's going to be hard.

[Cutter]

For me to help me. He's enjoying this process.

[Jamie]

You and Cutter. And you have three things. We talked about it a month ago when you were like, you know, I'm.

[Cutter]

Busy hustling, auditioning, selling for.

[Jamie]

I'm sorry, you're right.

[Cutter]

Children.

[Jamie]

Furniture salesman. Yeah. We all have so many jobs. Yeah. Okay, so I. I got a bunch of sex questions. What would you recommend to younger people? Like, people like, you know, 18 to 25, whatever. Would you be, like if you were to sit them down in a room alone, Would you be like, you should have more sex or you should be. Can you have less sex? What would Jamie's advice be? You should be wild. You're young, your 20s. Or you should be, like, you know, you should be selective because when you're older.

[Cutter]

No, I think you should be selective, but I don't think that you should, like, have a limit on who it is, you know, or how many. You know what I mean? I think that, like, have fun and be playful and experiment, but also be picky. Does that make sense?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

Don't just, like, sleep with anybody, but, you know, have a variety.

[Jamie]

So no one night stands?

[Cutter]

You don't think I'm not a fan of one night stands? I think I have. I ever had one. One.

[Jamie]

I know who it was. Yeah, it was in Miami, right?

[Cutter]

That was more than once.

[Jamie]

Oh, okay. I remember that.

[Cutter]

Baseball.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's always in that. The baseball doesn't really narrow it down. It's always an athlete mystery.

[Cutter]

Wouldn't they call you a cheat, A cleat chaser?

[Jamie]

Cleat chaser, Yes.

[Cutter]

I was one for a while.

[Jamie]

Yami likes your athletes.

[Cutter]

I did.

[Jamie]

And you got you married the best one.

[Cutter]

Here I am.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Shout out to Cutter.

[Cutter]

I'm gonna stick a nicotine patch in his butt. Shout out to Cutter, See, this is the things you can experiment with. But I always like multiple partners that you feel safe with are opportunities for you to grow in the bedroom and learn about yourself in the bedroom. So I. I'm. I'm a supporter of, like, having a handful of partners in your life.

[Jamie]

Multiple partners at once.

[Cutter]

No, meaning, like, always stick to one at a time. So the first time I got married, I had maybe only slept with three people. Yeah. And that was not good. I barely. I, like, I wouldn't be the 10 in bed that I am today had I not, you know, been, you know, learned few things from a few people.

[Jamie]

Was he the third?

[Cutter]

No, he was a fourth.

[Jamie]

I. Slut. No, that's. That's. That's. Wow. Way to. And you. And you thought in your head, I'm done sleeping with other people. Wow.

[Cutter]

Yeah. I was young and dumb.

[Jamie]

I know. But When I, like, as a guy, when I was on my fourth person sleeping, it was like, oh, this is the beginning. Like, you're right, it's the opposite. Like, oh, no, I need. Now that I'm 40, I'm like, I just want to fucking have sex with my.

[Cutter]

Won't tell me his number.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Cutter]

Because I think it's low. Well, you know, I met him when he was very young.

[Jamie]

Right. Maybe it's also three. Maybe you're his fourth. No, I think it's definitely more than that because Kassim was friends with Cutter when he was young, and he's like, cutter was a stud.

[Cutter]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jamie]

I think.

[Cutter]

Do I want to hear about it?

[Jamie]

Okay. If you had to guess what Cutter's number was, what would you guess?

[Cutter]

That it was 15.

[Jamie]

15?

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I'd say that's 10. 15. And do you think he's. He thinks that's low?

[Cutter]

No, I think he would. By 22, I think he would think that's, like, pretty.

[Jamie]

So he was 22 when you married him?

[Cutter]

No, when I met him.

[Jamie]

When you met him. Okay.

[Cutter]

And I'm pretty sure he hasn't slept with anybody yet since he's married.

[Jamie]

I'm pretty sure, so. Well, do you know what age he lost his virginity?

[Cutter]

14.

[Jamie]

Ooh. Ooh. If he's fucking at 14, I think we got.

[Cutter]

I don't know. You know how to find out straight from the source?

[Jamie]

Yeah, I think it could be like, 35. Should we just try calling him right now? You think he would tell us now? There's no way he'll tell you. But he would. He would never tell you. But you think, hey, Siri, call Cutter Dykstra. So he would never tell you, but you think he might tell us right now? No, he knows. I got it. I can't lie to him, because then he'll never remember.

[Cutter]

You used to, like, conference call people and, like, one person would stay quiet and you would, like, listen to them talk.

[Jamie]

Yo, can you guys hear this in the back? Okay. Big episode 69. Cutter, Jamie just said that you've never told her how many people you've slept with.

[Cutter]

Rob. Really?

[Jamie]

We're doing this right now? No, no, I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

[Cutter]

We.

[Jamie]

We just came across this fact, and she said that she thinks that maybe you haven't told her because you think it's too low. Because I. My. My initial thought was, oh, cuz it's too high. Not too low. Too low. Yeah, we'll go with too low. But then she said you started when you were 14, so I'm kind of thinking. And. And Casim. Casim also said you were a stud. I was a stud. Still are.

[Cutter]

Now I'm not.

[Jamie]

No. Still a stud. All right, well, if. I'm gonna leave a little silence here. If you want to say the number, you can. Too low. All right. Too low. We love you, Cutter. Happy episode 69. I'll be there soon.

[Cutter]

Okay.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Great.

[Jamie]

You could tell us when you get here.

[Cutter]

Bye. Told ya. Do I know my man or do I know my man?

[Jamie]

Yeah, but you also said you thought he was gonna tell us right now.

[Cutter]

I said he might.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I didn't. No. After all that time, if he's not telling you, he's not telling the world.

[Cutter]

He never knows. He's full of surprises.

[Jamie]

He is full of surprises. So we know, obviously you've had. There were times where Cutter wanted sex and you have an excuse, so you're like, I don't really want. Whatever. Have you ever had it reversed where, like, maybe not Cutter, but a guy was like, no, I were. Were like, I want to have sex, and a guy's like, no, sure. What. What was that? What was the excuse?

[Cutter]

Tired.

[Jamie]

Tired. Okay. And then do you just accept that or are you like, no, just lay there?

[Cutter]

It depends how old I was and depends how comfortable I was in the relationship. Because, like, if it was like a newer one, you know, I probably would not protest, but if it was like, my boyfriend, that I would. I would probably be a little bit more pushy.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Like have a coffee.

[Cutter]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Because I. When I was younger, I never had excuses. But now that I'm older and I eat once a day when I'm dating someone, they hear I'm too full quite often.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because, you see. You see, I eat for two and a half hours, you know, sometimes.

[Cutter]

So I couldn't imagine you doing anything after.

[Jamie]

Right. There's usually a good, like, three hour window. I don't even like to have sex after I eat at night, but, like, I need at least. Least three hours. Otherwise it's just like, that is moving around and it's not.

[Cutter]

Yeah, but isn't it wild to think about in your youth, there's, like, how many times you could do it and.

[Jamie]

And like, I would never be.

[Cutter]

I would never get old, but nothing.

[Jamie]

Would get in the way.

[Cutter]

There was nothing that was more important.

[Jamie]

Right. And it's also, like, more. It's like, what do you mean you're full?

[Cutter]

Like, I'm like, yeah, well, but we've you know, we've got a couple episodes of shrinking to watch when you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Alo or Skims. Yes, they have a great product and marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the business that is making selling simple. And for millions of businesses, that's Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with Shop Pay that boost conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going. If you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. I also love Shop Pay because it gives you shipping updates. It's like beautifully organized on the page. Can't recommend it enough. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout Aloe or Skims uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com not today. All lowercase go to shopify.com not today to upgrade your selling today shopify.com not.

[Jamie]

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[Cutter]

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[Jamie]

How has your sex life changed from now from when you were in your 20s? I guess that. That was the. That was a question that was just here, but I guess you just answered it, right?

[Cutter]

Yes.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

Because I'm tired.

[Jamie]

There you go. And old number one answer. The survey says. Ding. Too tired. Yeah. Is there besides Cutter asking you to put his in his butt, is there stuff that. And not by Cutter, by anybody that you've been asked sexually where you're like, absolutely not.

[Cutter]

Yeah. Cutter's the only one that's ever asked me for crazy shit. He's the only one.

[Jamie]

He's the only one.

[Cutter]

Oh, yeah.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Cutter]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Yeah. And you know, the thing is, it's like, I really want to do it for him. Like, I do. Like, I wanna.

[Jamie]

I really wanna. For him.

[Cutter]

Like, I really do. Like, I. Because he. I feel like he. To me, that's him being vulnerable with me. Like, I feel like this is. And I like that I'm the one that he wants to do the kinky shit with. Right, of course. Yeah. But I, like, most of the time, I'm like, I. I don't think so. Like, you know, like, I. So sweet. I want to, but I just don't know if I can get there.

[Jamie]

Ah.

[Cutter]

Does that make sense?

[Jamie]

Yeah, it sounds a little.

[Cutter]

Him and I were. Him and I were very adventurous in the early parts of our relationship, though, so I. I kind of set the bar too high.

[Jamie]

So you think that there was stuff that he asked for that he was expecting a no. And you were like, yeah. And he was like, what, like, shot?

[Cutter]

Yeah. One time in our relationship. Yes.

[Jamie]

But nothing you're gonna share on here.

[Cutter]

And he talks about it daily. Like, remember that time? That was great. That Was a great two weeks. Wasn't that great when you were into that?

[Jamie]

Yeah, I. Knowing Cutter, I kind of think I know what it is.

[Cutter]

You just set him up. He'll say the exact same thing I said, right? Because he does. He brings it up a lot.

[Jamie]

All right, Has a guy. I mean, this is the next question I had here was, has a guy ever asked you something in the. For, let's say, before Cutter asked you something in the bedroom that made you look at him differently?

[Cutter]

No.

[Jamie]

No.

[Cutter]

No.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Cutter]

No.

[Jamie]

What is there.

[Cutter]

I've known my. I guess I've always known my partners.

[Jamie]

Well, is there stuff that you've heard of your friends doing in the bedroom that you're like, get the out of here. Like, I would never.

[Cutter]

No, no, no.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Sorry. So boring. Listen.

[Jamie]

Or that just means anything, you hear. You're like, yeah, I'd do that.

[Cutter]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jamie]

You know. All right, so here's. Here's something. Because I feel like I'm just fucking interviewing you at this point. Here's something that I. That I. We could. We could. Let's get the. Everybody in the booth in on this, too. I. I opened up a porn website, which I drove out of Texas for that. Isn't it, like, illegal here to even look at porn? Or you just have to sign in. You have to verify your age. You have to verify your age, which I totally did. Yeah, I'm 40 looking robot. And I told him, I said, I'm not doing this for. To jerk off. I'm 69. Yeah. So I opened up a website and I looked at the first. However many are here. Like, eight titles that I saw. And I was like, I want to get the feeling on everybody. So we're going to rate them 1 to 10 on, like, your interest once you see that, like, your odds of clicking it. But here's. Here's. I think I've talked about this before, but what I realized is, like, if somebody went through my porn history, there would be so many things where they'd be like, oh, you're into this? And it's like, well, no, I didn't read, like, the. You never read the title? Or at least I don't like.

[Cutter]

But the titles really tell you what's happening.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but it's just like, you know, what happens is, like, a lot of times I go to jerk off with an idea of what I want, and you open up that page and you see so much stuff, and you're like, oh, she looks hot. Or like, that looks interesting. And then you click on it, but you don't know what it said because then sometimes it's like, do they have stories? And you're like, ew.

[Cutter]

But is there like a set storyline? Like, is there like everything. There's acting, right?

[Jamie]

There's everything you could find storyline. You find straight to sex. You could find no talking at all. In fact, you could. You could find everything. So I. And again, these are just the first eight. So whether they're good or not. But I'm going to. And then we're going to pick which one you think you. You would have clicked on out of all these. So the first one was I, a Walmart Employee, Part 2.

[Cutter]

And it wasn't like, this is a homemade one.

[Jamie]

Yes. It wasn't like a porn. It was somebody actually fucking in a Walmart bathroom.

[Cutter]

Wow. When they just uploaded to the site. Do they make money when they do that?

[Jamie]

I think yeah. Right.

[Cutter]

One would solo.

[Jamie]

I think. I think there's probably a way to monetize it.

[Cutter]

I don't really know.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I think so because there's an. I think it's like YouTube. Like there's an ad before every porn. So you're. Oh, my God. You know what's so funny? There's like this new ad where on. On porn sites where it's like, it's a girl. And because it used to be like, hey, this fuck sleeve, like, buy this thing to have jerk off into, like all that kind of stuff. Or like, this, these pills will make you come more. Which is like, who wants to come more? Like, I don't know all this stuff. I'm like, this is such a waste. But I guess like, when. When a guy's like about to jerk off, he's in such a dumb state, there's like, I want that. Like, I want to come more. Like, what? What are you talking about? But there's like a new ad that I've seen a few times and it's a girl and she's like, you know, the [e-mail] are really just. They treated me the best. And like, they're so sweet and. And it's like going to like your moral side to be like, oh, I guess I should only [e-mail] then. Or like whatever the website star as well. Right. And I was like, wow, this is.

[Cutter]

Because normally that would matter to me.

[Jamie]

Well, there you go. I think maybe they're going to the women on that one. Yeah. Where it's like, they treat us so good over here at like, you know.

[Cutter]

Now I know how to choose which between which.

[Jamie]

There you go. I'll get the exact. So I, A Walmart employee, part two. What's. What's your interest? Just from hearing that title 01 to 10. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I'd say ruins.

[Cutter]

It'll. It'll taint my. No pun intended, Walmart experience.

[Jamie]

Oh, really?

[Cutter]

Yeah, it's like all I'll think about when I go into a Walmart.

[Jamie]

Wow. Cutter, Get. Get her to watch. Cutter needs to sneak this into the. He needs to send this to you via email. Then you just open up and there's somebody fucking Walmart. And now anywhere. He just send you videos of people fucking everywhere.

[Cutter]

Number 69 is gonna be Cutter's favorite video.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

It's gonna be an episode of Not Today.

[Jamie]

It's like, you'd be like, why'd you send me an email of people fucking at a Little League field, Cutter?

[Cutter]

Oh, my God, that's disgusting.

[Jamie]

And anybody back there that this piques their interest. I fuck a Walmart Employee Part 2.

[C]

I would just be curious of how they pulled it off.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's what I was gonna say. It doesn't get my horniness as much as it does my curiosity.

[Cutter]

So many. There's so many aisles, you know, there's so many areas to do things in.

[Jamie]

They were on the bathroom floor.

[Cutter]

Disgusting.

[Jamie]

I know. So gross.

[Cutter]

But then, like, how does that, like, different. Like, it doesn't make it special that it's Walmart, you know, like, if it was in, like a canoe in, like, the camping section, like, that would make it, like, fun that it was a Walmart, you know, A canoe.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I didn't even know Walmart had canoes. Yeah.

[Cutter]

I just assume they have everything.

[Jamie]

That's crazy.

[Cutter]

Don't they have guns?

[Jamie]

Probably, right?

[Cutter]

In some places, yeah.

[Jamie]

Depends where you are.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Does anybody give that over a five? Because then we want to talk about it. I. A Walmart 10. Yeah. Like, is anybody like, oh, that's a seven for me. Like, I really wanna. I really wanna see what's going on in the Walmart bathroom. Take a look. Take a look. I'll take a look. All right.

[D]

I mean, we're not talking about the most important thing, which is what the. Does she look like? You know what I'm saying?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[D]

This kind of has nothing to do with the.

[Jamie]

It could be great or it could be. I'll tell you right now, she looked like who she said she was a Walmart employee.

[D]

All right.

[Jamie]

I'm just Saying it wasn't a. It wasn't like a. It wasn't Jenna Jameson, you know, it was a. It was a nice regular gal. Yeah. All right, let's move on to the next one. Okay, this one. The next title was public coming in restaurant with lush remote controlled vibrator in the restaurant.

[Cutter]

Public coming. Those are like three words I don't want together.

[Jamie]

Right, okay.

[Cutter]

No. Also a zero.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah. Again, this is more of a curiosity thing for me than a sexual. It does nothing for me sexually, but I am like, what's going on?

[Cutter]

So what went on?

[Jamie]

No, I didn't listen. This was business.

[Cutter]

I thought you did research.

[Jamie]

This was business. Yeah, I was. I was like, no, because then you click on it and come back and all the titles change. I wanted to make sure I had these. Yeah, I'm very professional, Jamie.

[Cutter]

I get it.

[Jamie]

Anybody? Anybody? Shooting over a five on that one.

[Cutter]

I don't know how those websites work.

[C]

I mean, who's coming?

[Jamie]

She was. She was. She was pretty hot.

[C]

By herself?

[Jamie]

Yeah, she was by herself at a restaurant. And I think what was. Because I've seen this before, using a.

[Cutter]

Vibrator under the table.

[Jamie]

Right? And then what happens is you live chat with people and they like, pay to set off the vibrator. So she's like eating dinner. All of a sudden, she's like, oh, my God. You never heard of that? J.

[Cutter]

Like, so far away from my reality.

[Jamie]

It's episode 16. Listen, I don't want to do this. It's episode six.

[Cutter]

You got to do it. I get it, I get it. I'm just saying I can't relate, that's all.

[Jamie]

Yeah. So, no, this isn't anybody's cup of tea back there, right. Where they're like, I really. I'm really into this. No, not me.

[Cutter]

I could see a lot of people being into that.

[Jamie]

Yeah. I mean, if you're. I could see like these guys who are controlling.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

But even for me, I'm like, any. I've. I don't think I've ever. If it was. It was like 20 years ago. Like, I don't think I've ever paid for anything, like, porn related on online because there's so much free shit. Like, why would you pay? Yeah, everything's free.

[Cutter]

Everything's free. You don't. I mean, for anything.

[Jamie]

So there's like, there's like porn sites where it's just like one specific thing, but then there's porn sites where it's basically like the YouTube of porn. So, like, it's all the videos are there, and you could search, like, anything.

[Cutter]

You want, and you'll probably find a video.

[Jamie]

It's all free. Yeah.

[Cutter]

And you can never get. Poor people make money, I think, from the ads. Okay.

[Jamie]

But you can get to the bottom of that if you. You want to go after big porn.

[Cutter]

Yeah. Well, add it to the list. Funerals.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You're going after death and life.

[Cutter]

Porn residuals.

[Jamie]

All right, here's. Here's one, Jamie, that I think you're going to like. It said, bubble butt, comma, Island Betty, comma, mystical menace and fuck.

[Cutter]

Love it. Great, great. Teaser interested? Because I don't know what the hell it's about. Yeah, well, bubble butt, well done.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah. One to ten.

[Cutter]

An eight. I mean, my. My interest is piqued.

[Jamie]

Listen up, Cutter. That's Bubble Butt, Island Betty, Mystical Menace, and fuck. Anybody back there that sounds like anybody back there matching Jamie's 8 or higher of interest on this?

[Cutter]

Oh, wow. Not. Not a fan fave.

[D]

Really gotta see these thumbnails.

[Jamie]

Yeah, I know, but that's. That's. That's. The whole point is, like, we're doing it without the thumbnails, you know, because then if you. If you. To me once. Once you see a thumbnail, the title doesn't matter at all.

[Cutter]

Right.

[Jamie]

You know, that's why. And Also, people on YouTube can't look at these thumbnails. They're kind of graphic. Amy, if you. Yeah, that one doesn't do it for me again. Okay. The next one. This is probably the one I'd be clicking on. And. And not because I like watching lesbian porn, like, so much. It's. It doesn't do it for me. Like, oh, my God, it's the best. But it. The title was best lesbian porn on the planet.

[Cutter]

Well, you already know that's a lie.

[Jamie]

I know, but when you say on the planet, it's like Dave Portnoy, when he does his pizza reviews. Like, if he goes to a pizza place and it says, like, best chicken wings in the world, he's like, I gotta try the wings. What do you mean?

[Cutter]

Oh, oh, oh, I see what you're saying.

[Jamie]

Right? Yeah. He's like, I gotta try, though. If you're saying you got the best in the world or something, you gotta watch it. Right? So that normally, like, a lesbian porn, I'm like. I skip over it.

[Cutter]

Wow. Really?

[Jamie]

Best on the planet.

[Cutter]

Okay. I don't know.

[Jamie]

For a lesbian porn, it's like, there's a lot of, like, you know, it's like, all right, you just want to get, to get to the. You know, there's a lot of like fluff, you know.

[Cutter]

What do you mean? They talk? Yeah.

[Jamie]

And it's just like, you know, petting. And normally when I jerk off, it's because I want to get to sleep.

[Cutter]

What do they do?

[Jamie]

You know, it's just like a lot of like, you know, kissing, cuddling and like slowly taking off the clothes. We're like.

[Cutter]

When I watch that, right?

[Jamie]

That's normally when I jerk off, it's because I want to get to bed. It's not because I'm like, oh, this is going to be, you know, like, let's have a fucking 45 minute escapade. I'm like, I want to get to.

[Cutter]

When you're younger. You did?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or sometimes like I do just get like horny. But nine times out of 10 I'm like, I need to fall asleep easy tonight. And it just helps me fall asleep much easier.

[Cutter]

Wow.

[Jamie]

Is it so far, guys? Is there anybody else back here? Who. This is the one they're clicking on?

[C]

I don't think so.

[D]

Yeah, I'm clicking it.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Cutter]

What do you got? Okay. Wow.

[D]

I want to do the research. I want to make sure, you know, they're. That's a. It's a fair claim.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[D]

Is it really the best.

[Jamie]

I want to see. Right. More so I just want to go, you guys are lying. This is. Yeah, this is not see, but this.

[Cutter]

Is smart marketing on their point.

[Jamie]

That's what I'm saying.

[Cutter]

That's.

[Jamie]

What do they call that? Clickbait. Yeah, they got me with the clickbait. Okay, next one. Fetish. Explanation, point. Explanation, point. Pulling nipples.

[Cutter]

Nope. No, not interested.

[Jamie]

Not at all.

[Cutter]

I have not a nipple nipple gal.

[Jamie]

Well, just the pulling nipples is not my thing necessarily. Anybody back there love nipple pulling?

[C]

I really speak in my language yet.

[Jamie]

I know.

[Cutter]

Listen, what do we need to. What do we got to do to get you guys excited back there? What do you need?

[Jamie]

Great question.

[D]

Being born in the world was pretty cool.

[Jamie]

Cool.

[Cutter]

Okay. We've got any good one.

[D]

It's pretty cool.

[Cutter]

Zolo Chad. What are you guys needing here?

[Jamie]

I think Walmart might still be my top. Wow. All right.

[C]

Some risk involved there.

[Jamie]

Hell yeah.

[Cutter]

It's kind of funny getting to know you guys a little bit. Did they walk episode 69 Walmart to.

[D]

Get to the bathroom or was it just in the bathroom? You just have to imagine that it's a Walmart.

[Jamie]

I just saw them already in the bathroom. Did you have the uniform on? I didn't see I think she had regular clothes on with like a, like a bib.

[Cutter]

Apron.

[Jamie]

Like an apron.

[Cutter]

It's all bullshit. She's not a real employee.

[D]

If we saw them walk through the Walmart and then get into the bathroom and it's legitimately a Walmart employer, at least, you know, believe it believable that it is. All right, I'm fucking in.

[C]

Well, I have a legit, A legitimate Blockbuster shirt on right now. And if I were to have sex, I could just say I was a Blockbuster employee, which I am not.

[Jamie]

So that. Would that get you to click? Is that a 10 for you? If it said we have sex in a Blockbuster bathroom.

[Cutter]

All those VHS tapes all around.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah, we have sex in the, in the comedy section of a. Of a. I remember on that blue carpet that fucking Blockbusters were so dope.

[Cutter]

The fucking best.

[Jamie]

We've talked about it before, but now I think that'd be the best place to pick up women. A Blockbuster.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Go to a blockbuster at 9 o'clock at night on a Friday. Go to like that romance section. Come on.

[Cutter]

I don't think I would, as a woman be going to Blockbuster by myself to pick a movie.

[Jamie]

Because you're married with two kids.

[Cutter]

Even when I was young.

[Jamie]

But I'm. Because you, you know what I mean? You were out there doing. You weren't like, man, where could I find some dick? You know? Like you. Yeah. You had sex with three people.

[Cutter]

They were posting up at a Blockbuster.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but that's.

[Cutter]

But see who else is lonely tonight there.

[Jamie]

Exactly.

[Cutter]

Right?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Wow. All right, I'll just run through the other one. I'll just run through the other one. Somebody stop me if you really find something that. Okay. No, actually we have to talk about our. Our Best Cum Shot series, Part three. No, I don't, like, I don't know. I don't understand the wanting to see people come for 10 minutes. Like, especially a dude. That's just. That just doesn't get me. No, like, I don't mind the one in the porn I'm watching, but like, if it's just like, come, come, come, like, what is this?

[Cutter]

That's what it would be.

[Jamie]

That's what a cum shot compilation is. It's like the guy coming and then as soon as, like he's done coming, it's like another guy coming with a girl. Another guy coming with a girl.

[Cutter]

You know, different strokes, different folks.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Lots of. A lot of people like a lot of things.

[Jamie]

Anybody back there loving cum shot videos? Well, we're really going full 69 episode 6960 year old MILF giving cock blowjob. Like a What? This is what it said. I'm just reading. I just reading the thing.

[Cutter]

What did she look like?

[Jamie]

A 60 year old?

[Cutter]

She's a 6 year old.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Well, she's not memorable. Like, it's. I don't remember her. Yeah. If this does it for anybody, just stop me.

[Cutter]

Nope.

[Jamie]

Okay. This is the last one, which I thought was kind of the funniest one. My lame friend needs a. And she told me. I can assure you that the lame girl really does. I don't. This sounds like some sort of nursery rhyme. I don't know what. Yeah, it didn't. And. But you know what? Here. Here's what it is.

[Cutter]

I'm intrigued though. Why is. What's lame about her? Is she physically lame?

[Jamie]

This gets your interest?

[Cutter]

Yeah. Is she weird? Like what. What's she lame about? Like. And does she bring the lameness to the bedroom and then maybe that's her flair, you know?

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

I'm interested.

[Jamie]

So the exciting part of this is she might be so lame that it's unique.

[Cutter]

Correct? The uniqueness of it. That's it.

[Jamie]

We are. We are really learning things here.

[Cutter]

Me too. I'm learning a lot about myself.

[Jamie]

Okay. If you had to. And we never have to ask Cutter for this. So there's no. No tension on nothing. But just fill in the blank for you. Cutter's dream threesome would be with me. And.

[Cutter]

I have no idea.

[Jamie]

Wow. You can't think of one? Maybe.

[Cutter]

I don't know. He's gonna have to answer that.

[Jamie]

A pack of zins. You and a pack of Zins.

[Cutter]

Yeah. He'd probably say nobody because you and some ketamine. Because he.

[Jamie]

Of course he's not going to.

[Cutter]

Meaning. Not because there is nobody. But that's just.

[Jamie]

That's why I'm saying we never asked.

[Cutter]

To, like, keep up with that charade.

[Jamie]

What about you and ketamine?

[Cutter]

Me and ketamine?

[Jamie]

Yeah. I think that might be his. His ideal threesome.

[Cutter]

No. Just take me away.

[Jamie]

Yeah, That's. That's why the. The dresser fell on me.

[Cutter]

He was.

[Jamie]

He was a little.

[Cutter]

He was on ketamine.

[Jamie]

He was a little loopy.

[Cutter]

I was like. He was.

[Jamie]

Was there ever stuff you wanted to ask for in the bedroom but you were too embarrassed?

[Cutter]

No. No.

[Jamie]

Maybe. I listed two things to be left alone.

[Cutter]

I put maybe Very confident in asking for that.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Or to sleep in separate beds.

[Cutter]

No, I do not want to be in a separate bed.

[Jamie]

Okay. Not Cutter. I'M just saying, in your history.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

No, Was there. So, like, you know, there's a lot of people who. They talk about aphrodisiacs, which I wanted to ask, are aphrodisiacs just food or Aphrodisiacs or anything that, like, make is like a sexual thing. Right. So is there anything just food wise that. For you, like, I don't understand that whole thing.

[Cutter]

Champagne.

[Jamie]

Well, that's just getting drunk. Yeah.

[Cutter]

No, it. It does. It just gets me in, like, in a very playful, in the mood.

[Jamie]

But isn't that a. Isn't. Wouldn't alcohol be. But I guess, like, is it the whole act of, like.

[Cutter]

Not when I have tequila. I don't feel that way.

[Jamie]

Is it like the popping the bottle, pouring the champagne? Is it the whole thing?

[Cutter]

No idea. It's the way it hits me.

[Jamie]

Me after you drink it. Right. But you don't just see a bottle of champagne and go like, o. Okay, so then you do.

[Cutter]

But I don't see a bar of chocolate and think that way. Right.

[Jamie]

But I think some people do.

[Cutter]

Like, I think, oh, it literally can affect them just in that way.

[Jamie]

Yeah, like the same way. You know, sometimes when you see food, you get hungry.

[Cutter]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

I think some people see the same.

[Cutter]

When I see Cutter be athletic there.

[Jamie]

That's your aphrodisiac, Cutter. Okay. Golf.

[Cutter]

Also sports. Yes. Any kind of sport.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Cutter]

Super into it.

[Jamie]

Oh. That's why I used to follow him on the road. Watching him play baseball, waiting in that hotel for.

[Cutter]

That's right.

[Jamie]

Waiting for daddy.

[Cutter]

All those podunk towns.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You as somebody who's had sex with very few people, you've probably had sex in more disgusting motels than most slutty people.

[Cutter]

Absolutely. I'd rival anybody.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Way to go. Really?

[Cutter]

We made La Quintas feel like peninsulas are.

[Jamie]

La Quinta is kind of nice compared to. It's not, like, disgusting. Is it?

[Cutter]

The La Quinta in. Oh, what town did he have spring training in? Florida. We'll have to wait. It's some weird town. Well, we'll have to have him tell us. Yeah, the La Quinta there was not nice.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Cutter]

We lived there many times.

[Jamie]

Are there ever things that you hear guys talk about about sex and, like, you let them go, but then on the side you're like, that is so not true.

[Cutter]

Guys don't really talk about sex in.

[Jamie]

Front of me or that you ever hear anybody, like, you know, are there any, like, common things where you're like, yeah, that's that you could think of?

[Cutter]

No, no, but I also. I mean, this is a known thing. Like, I. Every woman I know is faked orgasms.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Cutter]

Many, many, many times.

[Jamie]

All right, listen, I think we're at time. I. Wow. Listen, that.

[Cutter]

That flew by.

[Jamie]

See, that's what I'm saying. When you talk about sex, things just flies. Unlike real sex, you know, the time just flies right by.

[Cutter]

Drags on.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Unlike sex for a man, you're just like, is this done already? All right, thank you, everybody. We'll see you next week. With less sex talk, It'll be episode 70. Just your regular run in the mill NTP. Yeah.

[Cutter]

Not today. Hey, not today.