This Pee Bottle Mom Broke Us | Not Today, Pal

Summary

Not Today, Pal with Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler
Episode: "This Pee Bottle Mom Broke Us"
Date: October 9, 2025
Studio: YMH Studios

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Episode Overview

In this raucous, chemistry-driven episode, Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Robert Iler, the former on-screen siblings from The Sopranos, explore the hilarious and sometimes bizarre differences in their perspectives on daily life, relationships, bodily functions, internet culture, and cleanliness. The episode centers around a viral “pee bottle mom” video that pushes their tolerance for gross-out stories and catalyzes a discussion on cleanliness standards, plus teases an upcoming in-studio game show competition. As always, the panel’s genuine friendship, opposite worldviews, and comedic banter shine throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Odd Jobs, Haircuts & Friend Dynamics (00:10–04:10)

• Barbershop Dares: Dan asks Jamie how much she’d have to be paid to get a random barbershop haircut. Jamie’s initial response (“Not much, really.”) quickly shifts to large sums ($25k, then $5k) as she considers the risks.
  • Jamie: “I wear my hair 99% of the time in a bun.” (01:35)
• Friendship and Transactional Relationships: Jamie and Dan discuss the discomfort of mixing money and friendships, like paying a best friend for hair services.
  • Jamie: “She’s one of the best at what she does... you need to give me a set price.” (03:01)
  • Dan: "I find it very awkward to have, like, a transaction because...it’s just a weird way." (03:24)

2. The Porn Education Video Debacle (04:03–07:43)

• Absurd Online Videos: Dan shows Jamie a wild “instructional” video from a self-proclaimed “cum catcher” coach. Jamie is unimpressed by the acting and the premise.
  • Jamie: “She’s giving no instruction...That looked fake.” (05:10, 05:43)
• Divorce and Relationship ‘Classes’: This leads to playful musings about what skills keep marriages together and the double standards in sexual expectations.
  • Jamie: “I can think of a couple classes for men.” (06:49)

3. The Shopping Cart Return Olympics (08:20–09:25)

• Jamie is far more entertained by a (presumably) German viral video of “shopping cart return Olympics," expressing genuine excitement (“Get it in, come on girl!” – 09:02).
• Dan: “You sound like our last lady. I knew how to win Jamie back over.” (09:06)

4. Gym Locker Room Ethics (09:29–12:09)

• Viral Gym Videos: The hosts discuss the ethics and cringe factor of people filming themselves and others in gym locker rooms, often without consent.
  • Shaheen Demoui: “This is illegal, not only civilly, but also criminally.” (10:32)
  • Rob: "If I'm ever posing with three other guys in a locker room for a camera, just put a bullet in my head." (11:21)
• The group strongly condemns this trend, reflecting on generational differences and privacy norms.

5. Memory Lane: Jay-Z’s Pre-Grammy Brunch (16:42–18:11)

• Throwback to when Dan and Jamie (and Jamie’s husband Cutter) attended a 2015 Roc Nation Pre-Grammy brunch at the LA house used in The Godfather.
  • Jamie: “You met [Cutter] before my wedding…2012. 13 years.” (18:19–18:28)

6. Viral Video: The Pee Bottle Mom (18:38–26:10)

Core Segment

• A TikTok video from a self-declared “boy mom” sparks outrage and disgust. The mom recounts her kids urinating in bottles during car rides and leaving them for the car detailer, who accidentally got pee on himself, charged extra, and effectively got fired for complaining.
  • Jamie: “If that guy got my kids’ piss on him, I would pay him double and apologize and send a pizza.” (21:58)
  • Rob: "If you're gonna get your car detailed, throw the garbage out." (21:40)
  • Jamie: “[My son] will not be allowed to pee in a bottle. If we're driving two hours, I'll pull over and go to a Buc-ee's.” (22:56)
• The group criticizes the mom’s sense of entitlement and hygiene, lampooning the household's probable odor and the video’s obliviousness.
  • Jamie: "I would know if an open bottle of piss was in my car." (24:22)
  • Unknown Female Speaker: "If you walked into that bitch's house, you would smell a smell you've never smelled before." (25:59)
  • Rob: "There's a fucked up part to [the algorithm] probably. If it's gonna be on there, it's gonna involve piss." (25:36)

7. Other Bodily Fluid Tolerance Disputes (29:04–30:05)

• Dan: Recalls a Vegas air conditioner repairman who carried around a 20 oz. Coke bottle full of dip spit, making everyone queasy.
• Jamie: Admits to having dip spittoons herself in the past: "Of course, it's disgusting." (29:40)

8. Building the In-Studio Game Show (30:49–35:05)

• The group hashes out the rules and logistics for a forthcoming in-studio game show modeled after "Family Feud" and "Pyramid," proposing team formats, buzzer strategies, and stakes.
  • Dan: “We do seven rounds...then like the $100,000 Pyramid, but we’ll call it something else.” (31:33)
  • Jamie: “Can we do...the first round you could use as many words as you want. The second round, you can only use one word.” (32:27)
• Stakes don’t include money—maybe a playful, humiliating performance. Jamie is touted as the group’s reigning game champion.

9. The Sandwich King: Giovanni’s Deli Promos (36:18–38:39)

• Two vivid clips from an Italian deli show off expertly made sandwiches and meatballs, prompting universal culinary lust.
  • Giovanni: “Forget about it...Eat and enjoy life, guys. Forget about your diets. You lose all the weight you want when you die.” (36:26, 36:44)
  • Dan: “This guy is an artist…my YouTube algorithm sends me this guy every night.” (39:04)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jamie: “If that guy got my kids’ piss on him, I would pay him double and apologize and send a pizza.” (21:58) [on the pee bottle controversy]
• Rob: "If I'm ever posing with three other guys in a locker room for a camera, just put a bullet in my head." (11:21) [on viral gym Instagrams]
• Dan: “I could never even be friends with someone that [films in lockers]." (12:01)
• Unknown Female Speaker: “If you walked into that bitch's house, you would smell a smell you've never smelled before.” (25:59) [on the 'pee bottle mom']
• Giovanni: "Eat and enjoy life, guys. Forget about your diets. You lose all the weight you want when you die." (36:44)
• Jamie: “I would know if an open bottle of piss was in my car.” (24:22)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ------------- | | Barbershop dare, money and hair | 00:10–04:10 | | “Cum catcher” viral video and reactions | 04:03–07:43 | | Shopping Cart Return Olympics | 08:20–09:25 | | Gym locker room ethics and cringe | 09:29–12:09 | | Jay-Z/Roc Nation Pre-Grammy party memory lane | 16:42–18:11 | | TikTok “pee bottle mom” video & group outrage | 18:38–26:10 | | Vegas spit bottle repairman & bodily fluid arguments | 29:04–30:05 | | In-studio game show planning | 30:49–35:05 | | Giovanni’s sandwich videos and Italian deli cravings | 36:18–38:39 |

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Conclusion

“This Pee Bottle Mom Broke Us” is a signature Not Today, Pal episode—irreverent, honest, sometimes gross, and always full of contrasting opinions delivered with comedic affection. From online absurdities and bodily fluid limits to food porn and competitive spirits, Jamie and Robert’s dynamic is at its peak, setting the stage for an anticipated live studio game show battle next episode.

Transcript

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Not today, pal.

[Dan]

Kapoom.

[Giovanni]

Watch on the hat.

[Dan]

One of the styles.

[Giovanni]

Not today.

[Dan]

How much would I have to pay you? Or would somebody have to pay you to walk into a random men's barbershop on the side of the road and get your hair cut?

[Jamie]

Not much, really.

[Dan]

Well, just so you know, it's hard to find a guy in a random barbershop who cuts even a guy's hair good. So you're getting a bad haircut.

[Jamie]

Oh, I'm aware. I've taken my kids to many places where I'm like, what the hell did.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

You just do to his head?

[Dan]

So how much do I have to pay you to. Then you sit down and go, yeah, do whatever.

[Jamie]

But I'm gonna. Like. I have long hair. They're gonna, like, trim it, or you want me to be like, use your imagination. Like, it depends what you're asking here.

[Dan]

If you're like, yeah, do what you think looks good. You're not gonna lose, like, all your hair. But he's gonna do. He's gonna. He's gonna change.

[Jamie]

If this is for the. For the money. For the money, and then I can fix it later. Can I fix my hair later?

[Dan]

I don't know. How much money you take.

[Jamie]

How long do I have to rock? Well, you asked me, how much would you have to pay me?

[Dan]

Right. That's what I'm saying. But if you're asking for the money, I don't.

[Jamie]

Do I need to rock that hair for a certain amount of time? Like, if I can. A month?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

I'll take $25,000.

[Dan]

Wow. Didn't you just say in the beginning of this? Not much? Yeah, That's a lot of money for a haircut.

[Jamie]

No, I'd take. I don't know.

[Dan]

What do you think we pay to get this done?

[Jamie]

$5,000.

[Dan]

Five grand?

[Jamie]

Yeah. Because I wear my hair 99 of the time in a bun.

[Dan]

To go into a barbershop and be like, yeah, just whatever you think looks good.

[Jamie]

What?

[Dan]

They can't so bad.

[Jamie]

Cannot cut it.

[Dan]

That's insane.

[Jamie]

They can't cut it above my collarbone?

[Dan]

No, they might do that. They might cut it above your collarbone.

[Jamie]

Then we're talking more money.

[Dan]

When you go get a haircut, how long does it take? Do they do, like, a whole thing? Do they color your hair?

[Jamie]

Well, I have to have so many grays now. I have to color my hair all the time. I see you staring at them.

[Dan]

No, no, I wasn't looking at your grays. I was looking at. Because I was seeing if like, the front is a different color. So I'm like, you dye that.

[Jamie]

This is highlight. This is highlights, okay? These are called highlights.

[Dan]

I wasn't staring at your gray hair. I can't even see gray hair.

[Jamie]

Come on.

[Dan]

I don't see color, Jamie. You know that.

[Jamie]

Yeah, that's right. I don't know. A color takes a few hours. Always.

[Dan]

Geez, that's the worst.

[Jamie]

And then a haircut, a haircut takes 30 minutes, right?

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Dan]

And you found someone in Austin or. Because I remember you had your LA person.

[Jamie]

No, my best friend Rihanna moved here.

[Dan]

Oh, really?

[Jamie]

She's sharing her time between here and la, and so I just go to her house and she does my hair in her house.

[Dan]

That's got to be so nice for you.

[Jamie]

We get to spend all day together, but I gotta wait for her to be in town every time. Hence why I have so many grays. Because now I'm waiting for her.

[Dan]

See, I always find that to be a weird thing where, like, you, you have, like, a trend. Like, there's a money transaction that is also a really good friend. Like, I find it weird.

[Jamie]

Well, so we used to do this thing where she would be like, pay me whatever. And then I, I, it would feel awkward for me because I'm like, you are my friend. This is what you do. She is, like, one of the best at what she does. She's like, so, so sought after. So I don't want to, like, give her nothing. And so I've told her now, like, you need to give me, like, a set price. And then that's what it is.

[Dan]

I love that. Yeah, that's what you got to do. I find, I find very, I find it very awkward to have, like, a transaction because, like, I have friends who, like, would, like, got like, a personal trainer, and then they ended up becoming friends with the personal trainer, and then they would, like, go to the gym with the personal trainer sudden. And I'm like, this is just a weird way you eat.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah. I'm like, well, now does this person expect, like, you to get paid? I don't know. It's a very weird. It's like, like there's stories of, like, guys who start, like, dating prostitutes. Like, could you imagine that if you're like, you're like, I'm. I was paying you for sex, and now somehow we've had this relationship and now I've stopped. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Favorite movies.

[Dan]

That's what. Yeah. So you, you. And speaking of prostitutes, you and your, you and your girlfriends get together and, like, you play Mahjong. And like, you do. You do this whole thing. So I thought there's a woman who I think maybe you guys should have over at your next, like, get together, she kind of teaches girls, like, a little class on how to be better at something. I want to know if you think she would. She would fit in with you and your girlfriends.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Now, I want you to practice that come catching boost. I really want you to embody.

[Jamie]

Did she just say what I think she said?

[Dan]

Turn it up a little bit.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

I don't want to fuck up your brain. First take your long, tousled hair and you pull it back like this. Come on my face. Just come on my face.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Oh, my God.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Please, I need it.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

I need the.

[Unknown Male Speaker 1]

Come on my face. Just do it. Oh, right here, right here. Please come on it.

[Dan]

So she goes around, she teaches other girls what she calls how to be good come catchers.

[Jamie]

That's her class?

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

I don't think she's a very good teacher.

[Dan]

Oh, no, no.

[Jamie]

She's giving no instruction. She's just. Is this a personal video of yours? This is. Does this woman, like, literally upload and say this is a class, or is.

[Dan]

This just like a personal video of mine?

[Jamie]

Yeah, that's like. This girl sends you this or something?

[Dan]

No.

[Jamie]

So she uploads this being like. Let me. Is this on a YouTube? On the YouTube.

[Dan]

It's on a tube. Yeah, it's not YouTube though. But it's on a tube. And she. She basically heard, like, whole thing, like, listen, there's all different types of niches and porn.

[Jamie]

That was not convincing. That looked fake.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

That looked.

[Dan]

Maybe not Maybe.

[Jamie]

I think any. If you're looking down at this girl saying this, you're like, that's bad acting.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

No, that's not what I'm saying.

[Dan]

Yeah, nobody's thinking that, James. No, sorry.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

What the you're talking about? Yeah, she's a great actor.

[Jamie]

I'm not sold.

[Dan]

Yeah, you're out on. Well, maybe Jamie. Regular jobs. Maybe this should be a job that you should. Maybe you should go to.

[Jamie]

Girls, don't let Cutter know that women do this, please.

[Dan]

Oh, well, but you said she's not even good at it. She's not convincing.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

What are you talking about? He's probably one of her biggest subscribers.

[Dan]

Yeah, you. Maybe you should go to her mahjong parties and teach her how to catch. Come. You seem to be thinking that you'd be better.

[Jamie]

I can guarantee you that. No one at my mahjong party wants this lesson.

[Dan]

That's why you need the lesson. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. No, I didn't want to learn math, but you go, you. You have to do it to get by.

[Jamie]

Well, right, because that's a skill you're going to need in life.

[Dan]

I mean, hey, divorce rate is what, 60, 70%? I. Maybe if more women took this class, we'd lower. We'd lower the.

[Jamie]

I can think of a couple of classes for men.

[Dan]

Then I agree. Yeah.

[Jamie]

The marriage alive.

[Dan]

You should prep next week's pod and bring.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

Bring in all of the things that mentioned. That should be. All of that.

[Jamie]

I would like. Who should I have cut her cutter. Do the instructional videos, the teaching video.

[Dan]

Squirt catching.

[Jamie]

That's what a man has to be good at to keep his marriage alive.

[Dan]

Yet ladies love when you catch the squirt.

[Jamie]

And what even is that with a bucket? What are you talking about?

[Dan]

I don't like. Just like she was doing. She was great at it.

[Jamie]

Oh, wow. I was not impressed. Sorry. Wow, she had great hair.

[Dan]

So what advice would you give her?

[Jamie]

I don't buy it. That's what I'm saying. I just don't. I think it's.

[Dan]

It's like, not everyone's a Broadway actress. She's just trying to get by.

[Jamie]

What can I say? I've. I have higher taste.

[Dan]

Wow, that's. That's a shame. She's just out there. I support.

[Jamie]

I respect the hustle.

[Dan]

Do you support her?

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Yeah. You know, I remember a time when you said that as long as someone gets out there and tries, you know, you have compassion. And it's just, you know, I feel like you're not giving this girl that.

[Jamie]

I just said, do you, girl. Good for you. But I'm not gonna subscribe. I can choose whether I'm not gonna give her a thumbs down. I'm not gonna not like it. And.

[Dan]

And not see, if this was Gladiator, I'd go bang. She gets the thumbs up from me.

[Jamie]

I would have left the Coliseum.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Not interested. Wouldn't have bought a ticket to that show.

[Dan]

What a shame. Sorry, that's not what I thought. That's not what. And then. So what I was gonna say the. The video that popped up before that. I was gonna say, I'm kidding, obviously, but here's something a little more your speed with you and your girlfriends. This is the shopping cart return Olympics.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yeah. German.

[Jamie]

She has to get another one. What country is this from?

[Dan]

I think it's Germany.

[Jamie]

Look at her.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Dan]

She's built like a shopping cart.

[Jamie]

So understand why do they have to wear.

[Dan]

They're pros, James. No slippage.

[Jamie]

Do it, do it. Get it in. Come on, girl.

[Dan]

Oh, you sound like our last lady. I knew how to win Jamie back over. See that?

[Jamie]

Oh, look at the judge.

[Dan]

Yeah, he's taking him very seriously. All right, we could stop this. Instant replay. Slow mo. Instant replay. Come on.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Dan]

That's. That's sick. All right, we got some videos. This. This pod.

[Jamie]

I like the videos.

[Dan]

Can you do. Do the. The locker room one? This? I've talked about this, and I'm sorry. Sometimes I forget which ones I've showed and which I haven't because I have a list of, like, things I want to show. If I showed this, I apologize, but I don't think I did. This makes.

[Shaheen Demoui]

This video really pisses me off. This is disgusting to do to somebody. The fact that you boys intentionally stay out of frame so you can film that, man. You go back, you watch the video, you see that he's actually changing, which I had to cover up, by the way. And you go, he covered it anyway. And then you support people that laugh at that man. I mean, what is wrong with you? How do you not know better than to treat people this way?

[Jamie]

What's this guy's name?

[Shaheen Demoui]

You boys are going to learn a lesson today, I guarantee. There's a sign in that locker room that says, no photos, no video.

[Dan]

Yes.

[Shaheen Demoui]

Why? Because this is illegal.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Shaheen Demoui]

According to my lawyer, Shaheen Demoui, who.

[Dan]

Passed.

[Shaheen Demoui]

This is illegal, not only civilly, but also criminally. And doing this to somebody in Arizona.

[Jamie]

Is a code 647.

[Shaheen Demoui]

So I really hope that somebody recognizes this gym and lets them know so they kick your ass out, and that man presses charges. You need to do better. Mind your own business.

[Dan]

Yeah. And here. Here's the thing. When I. When I was, like, here in Austin, when I go to gyms in New York, never dealt with anything like this. When I was in the gyms in California, dudes are doing this like, I've never seen. That's wild. But, yeah, I saw dudes setting up their cameras.

[Jamie]

There's nothing attractive about that to me.

[Dan]

It's ins.

[Rob]

If.

[Dan]

If I'm. If I'm ever posing with three other guys in a locker room for a camera, just put a bullet in my head like this.

[Jamie]

The thought of you doing that alone just makes me die laughing.

[Dan]

This is the. And it's like, hey, I had to blow. Like, just don't. Just don't do this. Like, this is. It's so bad. Oh, my God. Imagine the cringe if, like now I'm 40. If when I was 20, I thought this was cool and I had video of me with two of my boys in a men's locker room with fucking naked dudes behind us posing in a mirror. Oh, thank. I mean, I don't think I would ever do that, but thank God social media was not around. Listen, I didn't work out until I was 30. Way other thing, I didn't work out till I was 30. So I know this is impossible. I would never do this, but it's just like, holy shit. I could, by the way, I could never even be friends with someone that.

[Jamie]

They'Ll regret these videos one day or no.

[Dan]

I hope so, man.

[Jamie]

How old are these? These are children. How old are these people? 17, 20.

[Dan]

I hope it's not children because then we're doing something illegal, I think. But no, there. This bothers me. When I was in California in January, there would be dudes setting up their cameras in the locker room and legit while there were old men. Like, because like, you know, obviously when you're younger, I think you're more like attuned to like what's going on. You're like, these guys are doing this. These like 80 year old guys would have no clue. And like a lot of these 80 year old dudes in the locker room, they don't change quick. Like when you're 20, 25 and you're changing like it's a swift move. These guys are like, they're hanging out like their time. Yeah, they're. They're very slow paced and like these dudes are filming them and then they're showing it on Social. I don't know, this drives me. I hope Joey Swole. I think we should give Joe. You remember how like would they made Shaq a cop and he could like arrest people. I think we do that to Joey Swole.

[Jamie]

He's jonesing for it, I think. These poor guys just sitting in his car.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Like desperate to get out there on.

[Dan]

The streets, I think. I think we put Joey Swole on the street. Streets and we make him like a official law.

[Jamie]

I like this.

[Dan]

Yeah. Joey Swole, citizens arrest. And then when they're like, you know when people like get mad at cops and they're like, what's your last name? He's like, swole.

[Jamie]

Yeah. What's his like, tagline? Got to think of something good.

[Dan]

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[Jamie]

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[Dan]

I think. I don't know if you could look up if Joey Swole has a tagline, but yeah, I don't know. I think we look into making Joey Swole an official. Let me see. Joey so quit social media. Oh yeah, he quit and then he came back I think because when Hulk Hogan died I think he like put a tribute to Hulk Hogan and then people were like, hulk Hogan's a bad guy. And it was like, a whole thing. Yeah, I know. People just.

[Jamie]

I mean, I don't drive every day to become even better. Yes, Joey, strive.

[Dan]

Yeah. When someone's like, what's your badge number? He's like, just strive every day to become even better. Joey Swole. Love. Love me some Joey Swole. Do we have a memory lane for the crew?

[Rob]

We do.

[Dan]

Oh, I know exactly where this is.

[Jamie]

In a Super bowl party.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Because Cutter was there.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

In LA. 2000. Well, I'm stealing this from you.

[Dan]

No, no, go, go. I like it.

[Jamie]

2000. 17, 16.

[Dan]

Okay. I wouldn't know. Oh, wait. Actually, I do. Hold on. I might know the year. Hold on. I think it was. What is this? I'm gonna go 15. I'm gonna go 2015, and I'm gonna say yes. It was in LA. This was the. This is the house that they filmed the Godfather at. It's in la. And it was a. It was Shout Out. Jay Z. I talked about Jay Z last week. It was. It was a Jay Z party for. Yeah, the Super Bowl. Was it the super bowl or was it, like, the Grammys or something? I don't. Yeah.

[Jamie]

Oh, maybe it was the Gram.

[Dan]

Maybe it was the Gram. I think it might have been the Grammys. Pre party.

[Rob]

Nailed it.

[Jamie]

Wow.

[Rob]

2015. Pre Grammy brunch.

[Jamie]

Robbie, that brain is working.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Rob]

Roc Nation and Rock Nation 0. We're the ones putting it on.

[Dan]

Yeah. No, this was a great.

[Jamie]

No one rock scarf quite like Rob.

[Dan]

If you actually look for this, look Rob Eiler at this thing, you'll see there's a picture of me with clutter there.

[Jamie]

I feel like we did a memory lane of it once.

[Dan]

I can't believe I was hanging out with Cutter 10 years ago.

[Jamie]

Love that.

[Dan]

I just. I don't. I feel. I feel like just because we started hanging in Austin so much, I feel like 10 years is a long time.

[Jamie]

Yeah. You met him before my wedding.

[Dan]

Yeah, I know. I just. It didn't click in my head that, like, I've. So how long have you been with Cutter?

[Jamie]

2012.

[Dan]

13 years.

[Jamie]

Good for you guys. In February or January will be 14 years.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Rob]

Well, I do have a video for you guys.

[Giovanni]

Oh, yeah?

[Dan]

Yeah. I always forget. What? I always forget. You tell me stuff right before.

[Rob]

This came up on my feed the other day, and it just felt like something you guys would have a good time talking about.

[Dan]

Yes.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Used to have a guy who detailed our cars, and we have a different guy now. Because the old guy shamed me one time. And I don't know if I'm out of line in thinking that this was an unfair shaming, but I'm a boy mom. I have three boys and one daughter. And a lot of times when we're on a long drive to our hunting property, it's like two and a half, three hours, the boys pee in. In water bottles. So you know where this is going, right? So there was a water bottle in the very back row of my Suburban in the cup holder with no cap on it. And so he. He went to take it out and apparently got pee on him. And it probably was old and warm. And, like, he told me about it, and I could tell it pissed him off because he, like, charged us extra. Which at the time I was like, dude, you're cleaning a car. Like, tell me if I'm overreacting here, But I'm like, you're cleaning a car. Like, we're paying you $200 to clean this car. Don't charge me for pee touching your gloves. Or am I just desensitized as a mom to how disgusting that truly is? Because I was like, what? It's dirty. Like, everything else in the car. Like, just clean it. That's literally what we're paying you to do. So anyway, I didn't really care for that guy for a couple other reasons. So now we have a different guy, and he just finished cleaning our cars, and he puts all the loose items that he finds in my car in the back of my car. So I just went into the back of my car, and this is what I found. It's actually a little revolting. Let me start with the good stuff.

[Jamie]

The.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

The not revolting stuff. We have an awana's tag. We have a church pen. One of my kids had a Bible in there, but I put it back in the car because that's the only way I can get my kids to bring their Bibles to church. Or to not forget to bring their bibles to church. We have a ball, Velcro catcher thing. File folder with my daughter's name on it. Dirty sock.

[Dan]

Okay? A pencil, used condom.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

And we have a pair of dirty boys underwear.

[Dan]

There was a stain there, right?

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

I'm so sorry, Dan. Now, Dan didn't complain. Dan just put the dirty underwear in the back of my car. But I kind of feel bad. Kind of feel bad that he had to touch it and move it. I know what. It's from my boys. When we go to the beach, they change into their swim Trunks and just go home in their swim trunks. So somehow it got misplaced left in there. Whatever. So I'm sorry Dan. And also thank you.

[Rob]

What do we think?

[Dan]

You're a boy, mom. You go for it. Jamie.

[Jamie]

First of all, a two and a half hour driving that long? Tell them to go pee pee before you leave the house. Are you kidding me? They have to pee in a bottle? I don't think it sounded like they were little. She said they were kind of older.

[Rob]

For pretty big underwear.

[Jamie]

Yeah, like also if you're gonna get your car detailed, you throw the garbage out. Yeah, I. If I'm getting my car washed, I. I go through the side door, I go through the back, we empty it out. I like nothing about this.

[Dan]

I don't have a car.

[Jamie]

But like if. If that guy got my kids piss on him, I would pay him double and apologize and send a pizza. I don't know. Like what the fact that she was angry and then apologizing to the guy, the other guy, that he had to move a pair of underwear. I don't know.

[Dan]

No wonder you don't like the come catcher girl. You're not a bodily fluid on. It's a big deal to you. Listen, I think, I guess that's the.

[Jamie]

Moral of the story.

[Dan]

I think if you're touching underwear with gloves on, it's not really a big deal. Like you should clean out your car.

[Jamie]

Before you if it was like a diaper.

[Dan]

Should you?

[Jamie]

I'd rather underwear.

[Dan]

Yeah. I'd rather touch underwear than diaper. You're saying, you're saying. Yeah, yeah, of course. So. But the pe like if you got.

[Jamie]

A bottle without a cap on it.

[Dan]

Without a cap on it is insane. Yeah, you should be paying him extra for sure.

[Jamie]

My children, I have a seven year old. He will not be allowed to pee in a bottle. If we're driving two hours I'll pull over and go to a Buc Ees. Like what. What is going on?

[Dan]

Yeah, see, I don't. I don't know.

[Jamie]

I don't think he's a boy. Let him piss on the side of the road. You're making noises.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

I'm just imagining what this is. Car life, house body smells like. She's just a nasty. And none of this is acceptable. It's crazy that it's. It's like she's so clearly out of touch.

[Jamie]

She's reality. She's bored.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Like she's thinking. She's like asking the world as though any person in the world is going to agree with no no one agrees with this. You're crazy.

[Dan]

You're out of here.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Look at nasty.

[Jamie]

Look at the comments. Someone said, hey, so pulling over is an option.

[Dan]

I don't think anybody who's doing.

[Jamie]

Where does your daughter pee?

[Dan]

I don't think anybody who's doing a job for you should have to get your children's pee on them.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

I mean, why the. Why the fuck was it not thrown away? Dog, you leave it in your hot car. She said warm. It was probably warm. So you be leaving hot piss in your car.

[Jamie]

And she didn't smell that?

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

That's what I'm saying. The bitch smells bad everywhere.

[Dan]

That's what she's saying too. They're saying, so you apologize about the underwear, but didn't apologize for getting piss on someone? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jamie]

There was no apology. Yeah, there was no. Like, I feel so bad that there was like, am.

[Dan]

I apologized?

[Jamie]

Desensitized. I live in a house of men. I would. I would know if an open bottle of piss was in my car.

[Dan]

Yeah, no, that's. That's a wild. It's a wild. And it's so easy to just be like, oh, here's the rule. Make sure there's always a tight cap on the piss bottles. Just. Just something.

[Jamie]

Or don't piss in a bottle.

[Dan]

And also, hey, every time we get out of the car, if you piss in a bottle, we take it out.

[Jamie]

I don't get the piss in a bot. Like, the piss in the bottle is only for taxi drivers, Uber drivers, people that like, can't get out of a car. Other than that. Stop it.

[Dan]

I think.

[Jamie]

Stop pissing in bottles.

[Dan]

I think Uber drivers are allowed to get out of their car.

[Jamie]

But you know what I mean, Remember in Sopranos we. Because they would switch out the taxis right above our studio and there was like a ramp and the taxi drivers would throw their pee pee bottles before they would. And we would see broken pee pee bottles.

[Dan]

Yeah, no, that was this good. But also, Zola, your algorithm is pretty wild.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Giovanni]

Yeah.

[Rob]

I mean, there's not a lot of, like, mom stuff on mine, but if there is, it definitely probably involves piss or something.

[Dan]

Ah, yeah, you're. So your algorithm just picks up piss like keywords? I don't know.

[Rob]

There'S a fucked up part to it probably. If it's gonna be on there.

[Dan]

Yeah. Shout out. Pee on me. Beat me. Yeah, she's. She just Glows is the name of this account. You don't follow this lady, do you? She just popped in.

[Rob]

No, I mean, I might need to now.

[Jamie]

I mean, also to collect the things. Collect all these dirty things. Put them on your kitchen counter, set up your phone.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

You see what I'm saying?

[Jamie]

And have the chat. Really?

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

I'm telling you, really. If you walked into that bitch's house, you would smell a smell you've never smelled before. You'd be like, what the fuck is. What died in here? Why are you not cleaning this place?

[Jamie]

Oh, no. Here's her page. Gosh. Don't share this page. I don't want to.

[Dan]

Whoa.

[Jamie]

What's happening in that first video?

[Dan]

We can't play this because of the music.

[Rob]

She's going to the beach. Something lame.

[Jamie]

Everyone's an influencer.

[Dan]

You guys are making me really not like.

[Jamie]

Well, maybe that's why your kids pee. Look at me. Beverages. She travels.

[Shaheen Demoui]

You just need three mothers. He could take over a country, Kratom.

[Jamie]

Anything.

[Giovanni]

We're confused. As Americans, we think we need.

[Jamie]

She's crazy.

[Dan]

Oh, yeah. Okay. We're talking. Yeah, she's cra.

[Jamie]

Yeah, she's an addict.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Yeah, she's a heroin addict. God, this is.

[Jamie]

Whoa.

[Dan]

We call her Karen.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

P.S. i don't see a dude. Wonder why.

[Dan]

Yeah, and she looks like she's pretty emotional in a lot of these. Yeah, well, we are.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Also, I just got out of the doctor.

[Jamie]

Oh, great.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

I thought for sure I was in perimenopause.

[Dan]

No, you're on Kratom.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

I had my blood drawn because I have to get it done once a year so I can have my thyroid prescription refilled. So we were going over the results, and when I tell you lately, my level of rage. Rage out of nowhere.

[Dan]

Wow.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

For those I love and others, I. I don't discriminate. My mood swings lately have been wild. I've had headaches lately, so I thought, I am definitely in perimenopause.

[Rob]

I mean, I think she's just a crazy person.

[Dan]

Yeah. What is that over there?

[Jamie]

Desperate for connection.

[Dan]

On the top, right where it says, we are all.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

Hey, good morning, guys. I hope you're having a great Tuesday. I just wrapped up a client call. And this is just your friendly reminder that, oh, she has a problem's faking it in some way. Like, don't look online and fall into the trap of thinking that everyone has it all together and everyone's happy all the time and everyone's just thriving. Like, everyone's having a tough time.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Open piss bottles in your car.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

May not see it on their feed.

[Jamie]

But that's not give her anymore.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

That is like.

[Jamie]

That is the human let's talk about a game show.

[Dan]

You want to talk about the game show? So this is, this is the big intro to oh, by the way, before we. We will talk about the game show. One thing I just want to talk about first is that guy. The, the, the piss in the, in the bottle. And the thing reminded me when I was living in Vegas, the air conditioner would always break and the person would sit because it was like a condo. So the person would send someone in to come fix it. The person had had no clue about air conditioners. They would always come look at it once and go, yeah, it's broken. And then leave and the next day bring someone to fix it. It bothered me so much. But this person would have a 20 ounce bottle of spit, a Coca Cola bottle of spit in their back pocket. And they would pull it out and unscrew it and spit into it, put the cap on and put it back in their back pocket of just like plate.

[Jamie]

Like he didn't have a dip.

[Dan]

No, he had dip.

[Jamie]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Dan]

It was a black spit. It looked almost like Coca Cola.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Dan]

And it. I was so uncomfortable every second this guy was in my apartment because I was like, if one fucking drop of that touches anything in here, I'm gone.

[Jamie]

Yeah, spit bottles are gross.

[Dan]

It's the most. And some people do it.

[Jamie]

I used to dip all the time. I used to have them all over my house.

[Dan]

Really? See, at least it's someone who like you love and, and you catches come so it's different. But like it just a stranger. Like a random guy's spit in. In your. But, but did, did one ever spill?

[Jamie]

Yes, of course. It's disgusting.

[Dan]

Where, where, where did they spill?

[Jamie]

On the nightstand, you know, reaching for something or.

[Dan]

And which is crazy because he's like ocd. I know, but he's.

[Jamie]

He wasn't always. I guess. I don't know.

[Dan]

Wow. Maybe he should have an Instagram 400 plus posts and he should talk about his cutter.

[Jamie]

Should have an Instagram. Honestly, he should. But he, he should be like an anonymous one. You know what I mean?

[Dan]

No, I think he needs to be out there. He wants to do a gambling podcast with me and I'm like, we can.

[Jamie]

You should. I tell him all the time that he should just come in and co host with you one time.

[Dan]

Yeah, I ever.

[Jamie]

Can't come for sure.

[Dan]

He's just coming. Come and sit with us. Yeah, but man, no, without me.

[Jamie]

Because your guys's conversation without me interrupting it is. Is pretty good.

[Dan]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Pretty epic. I always Know when he's on the phone with you, it's just like a. It's a different energy. He gets a little more excited.

[Dan]

Yeah, well, we. We definitely have a different energy. Football season, too. It's like. And especially when we're doing good, it's.

[Jamie]

Yeah. Your friendship hits another level, man.

[Dan]

Football, when you're doing good in football season, I don't know if there's anything like it. Okay, on to. On to the game show. Here's what it's going to be next week.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

It's going to be next week we're going to do. So I think it should be three on three.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

Right. We said you want to do boys versus girls, so those are my two. Are you both gonna be here Tuesday?

[Rob]

Yeah.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Yeah.

[Dan]

Yes. All right, and then you have who? Barley and who.

[Jamie]

Whoever else. Niana or Heather, Whoever's avail.

[Dan]

Well, who. Yeah, well, we need. We need to make sure we got.

[Jamie]

Who'S a better gamer. Barley, you gotta help me out with that.

[Unknown Female Speaker 1]

I think it's gonna be Niana.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

Okay. What'd you say?

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Shots at Heather?

[Jamie]

Heather's jet lag. She just traveled across the world.

[Dan]

Exactly. But. And we're gonna have enough people to. To man the booth. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so we're gonna. So here's. Here's what.

[Jamie]

Here's bodies wandering around.

[Dan]

Here's what I'm thinking. We do. We do. So obviously you can't call it Family Feud because they have copyright. So we'll call it like, survey says something like that.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

I think what we do is we do seven rounds, right? We'll do seven rounds of that, and then the next thing will be like, the $100,000 pyramid, but obviously we call it something else. And it's like $10 pyramid. Yeah, not. Not pyramid. The $10 square. And what we do is, like. So it's. It's all like if. If. If you and somebody else were on my team. It's like, I see the word and I have to get you guys to say the word without actual. It's like, heads up.

[Jamie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

[Dan]

I have to get. You have to get the two people to say the word without you saying the word. And I think we do six rounds of that. So we do six rounds of that, seven rounds of that, whoever wins.

[Jamie]

So if we're doing six rounds, can we do, like, the first round you could use as many words as you want. The second round, you can only use, like, one word.

[Dan]

No, I think we do. I think we do, like pyramid. Style where you just. The clock is on 60 seconds and you just have to get them to say. Without saying the word.

[Jamie]

Okay.

[Dan]

And then we. We have to have somebody who's clear and like the, you know, you like the bomb. Like, we need. We need. Because we have the buzzers, our own buzzers. So.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Dan]

So here's what I think we do. We do. It's gonna be me and you two. So the first round, if we do six rounds, it'll be three for each team. So it'll be me trying to get you two to say the word, then one of you trying to get the other two to say the word, then the last person trying to get the other two to say the word, then we do the same thing on your team. And then. So it's going to be. There's going to be 15 games, right? We do know seven and six. That's 13. So the first one to seven, whoever wins seven first is the winner.

[Jamie]

I wish it was right now.

[Dan]

Yeah, well, we got you. Well, we gotta. We gotta. We'll prep. Mentally. They'll. We'll let them prep here because here's the thing. They gotta figure out all the answers stuff. I can't prep it because then I would know the answers. So what we do is for the one that we're calling like the pyramid, you have to. There has to be a topic. So that's how, you know. So it'll be like things in a baseball field, right? And then it's like pitcher, catcher, mound, gloves, this, and like all these kind of things. So that's the. What. What do we. What should we call that game? The word game. So we'll do that. The word game. And then the other one the survey says is we've surveyed 100 people top however many answers are on the board. And we play it. We play it that way.

[Jamie]

Great.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Are we surveying 100 people? How are we getting those answers?

[Dan]

Yeah, well, you could. There's ways to find that online. Yeah, yeah. You for ChatGPT or.

[Jamie]

Or we can survey the office here.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Yeah, because I feel like that's kind of part of it.

[Jamie]

We surveyed 12 people.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Like, not. Not necessarily just us, but like, if I know who is answering these questions.

[Dan]

No, but you never do. It's always. We surveyed a random hundred people. That's.

[Jamie]

They don't have random hundred people.

[Dan]

No, but I'm saying there's. There's a million examples of these questions online. You just go and you find them. There's. There's a Family Feud video game. There's that like go find seven that we think would be good for us and then we just do them.

[Jamie]

I love it.

[Dan]

You know, it's like top, top, top. Whatever. Top six reasons you.

[Jamie]

You quit a job.

[Dan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever. Top, Top seven things people don't like about their boss. Top Whatever the fuck we do. And then. Yeah, that's it.

[Jamie]

Can't wait.

[Dan]

It's gonna be. It's gonna be a big deal. We got. Let's.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

If we're gonna play a game, we need to talk about stakes. What are the stakes?

[Dan]

Oh, well, listen, that's you guys. You know, what would you want to. What would you want to make this?

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

I don't think it should be money. I think it should be. I think it should be something that some of the other team has to do. Maybe a little performance.

[Dan]

Oh, hell no. I'm not, I'm not.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Don't worry, you're not gonna have to do it.

[Dan]

Jamie's a unbelievable game show player. Just so you know. I think we're gonna win too. But Jamie is. Jamie's never lost.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Really don't like this confidence. But all right.

[Dan]

I said I think we're gonna win. I'm just saying you to. To be a hundred percent is. I don't. I get uncomfortable when people are 100 sure about something. You gotta leave a little margin.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

You're gonna be really uncomfortable around me then.

[Dan]

All right. Yeah, I already am. So I'm not gonna go.

[Jamie]

Great.

[Dan]

No, they were definitely not doing a performance.

[Jamie]

Well, let's. Let's take some time and think about.

[Dan]

Bring it up next. Maybe there's some stakes because everybody. We've got six people, so everybody's got to be comfortable with the steaks. Speaking of steaks, we got the sandwich. We got the sandwich guy who we love. Yeah, he's. He's cooking some stuff for us. Let's see what he's up to.

[Giovanni]

Oh, look at this roast beef that just came out. Come on. Look at the color on this thing. Forget about it.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Look at this.

[Giovanni]

We got 250 meatballs right next to it. Come on. Don't forget, guys, Germany's Italian deli. Fresh every day. How you doing? Eat and enjoy life, guys. Forget about your diets. You want to lose weight Is that. You lose all the way. You want when you die.

[Dan]

Lose weight when you die.

[Jamie]

There it is.

[Dan]

Yeah, there's no fat dead people, right? I love Giovanni and then. Or is it Giovanni? Is that his name?

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Dan]

What did. Can you. If you go and look, he posted something on his Instagram where he put us on. But also he commented on when we posted him on our Instagram. And he's like. He's like my own guys tag me. Like, because I guess. I guess Heather didn't tag them. Heather, Giovanni is kind of upset with.

[Jamie]

You, so he got plenty of air time.

[Dan]

We are. I love him. And he's.

[Giovanni]

What?

[Dan]

You know what it is? He seems like such a good guy. There's. There's a second one. Can you play the second one? Because that one, you see him. The other one, you didn't see him.

[Giovanni]

Time to make a sandwich. He's such a good time for the one slice.

[Jamie]

He's happy. He loves what he does.

[Dan]

Loves it.

[Jamie]

Infectious.

[Dan]

The one sliced ice.

[Giovanni]

And of course, you gotta have a Manhattan special one. You're making those on leech. This is a three put Italian. And first we throw on the mortadella. How you doing? Look at this mortadella with the pistachios, of course, from Italy. Gabby.

[Jamie]

Oh, pistachios in there.

[Giovanni]

Now we're going to draw on the Matt Pro. And this comes from Italy. They make it square just for the deli. Guys, Here we go. Now we throw the Prouta. Look how beautiful that is.

[Dan]

That is gorgeous.

[Giovanni]

Now we throw on a little salami.

[Jamie]

Too much.

[Dan]

Too much.

[Jamie]

Really?

[Dan]

Yeah, but it looks so good.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Bro.

[Giovanni]

Look at this provolone. You guys don't understand. It's so creamy and soft. It's not like those other provolones you're used to that smell like feet. Now we throw a few tomatoes because the. I don't want those tomatoes. And a little lettuce. Now we throw a little lettuce on.

[Dan]

Love the shredded lettuce, guys.

[Giovanni]

Not too much. And for the finish finishing touch, a little Italian dressing. Olive oil and red wine vinegar.

[Dan]

That's nice. He should have shaken up the thing.

[Giovanni]

Before, but tomatoes and lettuce on the customers wanted a little different. Don't forget Joanne's Italian deli. Fresh every day.

[Dan]

Love this guy. Giovanni, what were you saying? Any. Huh? I thought you said something about this guy over here.

[Unknown Female Speaker 2]

Oh, I was just saying I would die for this sandwich. Like, just the way that he's making all of that is just incredible. I would die for that.

[Dan]

The best. This guy is an artist. Yeah, my. My YouTube algorithm, them sends me this guy every night. They just know that I want to look at food that I can't eat and fantasize. All right, well, listen, guys, we'll see you next week, but it's not going to be a regular week. We're going to be. It's going to be intense. It's going to be a competition. We'll see. We'll see what happens. We'll see you next, by the way. Email us not Today, palp.podcastgmail.com Leave Us Voicemails 512-387-1880.

[Giovanni]

Capone Watch on the Hat.

[Dan]

One of the Sun.

[Giovanni]

Watch out, Manhattan.

[Dan]

One of the Sun Ripper Jersey Battery. Not today.